Hibbs says "Heeellllo 3/14's comics!"

Two weeks in a row, yeah, baybee. AVENGERS ASSEMBLE #1: Yeowch, that was rather poor. Part of it is just how inconsequential the story felt (and part of that is having the stupid "Zodiac" characters as the antagonists... ugh, have they EVER been interesting?), part of it was the need for "Marvel Continuity" to now reflect "movie continuity" (despite the fact that this kind of material DOESN'T BRING IN A MEASURABLE NUMBER OF NEW READERS from the films to comics), so we've got "Dumb Hulk" running around here (And I think Bendis totally doesn't "get" his voice, sorry), despite that not being the Status Quo in the Marvel universe, or in any currently published "Hulk" comic, oops. I guess this entire comic is a spoiler? Weightless, flabby, and, of course, $4 for the privilege. Ew, this is absolutely EH work.

CROSSED BADLANDS #1: Gahd, what a horrible title. Well, at least Garth's back on the book he created, but I seriously think that this comic isn't sustainable 24 times a year, and that by June we'll be selling under half of what we might sell of this first issue. Anyway, it's Crossed, and it's Ennis, and so it's filled with all kind of depraved stuff you can just hear that naughty little boy giggling over, and while I like it, I don't really love it, and it's effectively an anthology series now, so we'll see what happens going forward, but for now: I like it, but don't love it. OK

FANTASTIC FOUR #604: I strongly liked this issue, even with it's fairly heavy Deux Ex Machina (even if that's an established plot point) -- I like it's message of Hope and family, even if I'm not exactly sure why the plan worked, or even how it got came up with or anything like that. Still: GOOD.

LUTHER: Hey, not at all a print comic, but Mark Waid's free "proof of concept" for his vision of Digital comics, where you advance through it with the arrow keys.  I liked the story quite a bit, but there's something that's not quite "comics" to me about the whole process.

Sometimes it is overt, like the panel where the shovel suddenly appears in frame, where I think "well, that's just animation, just only two frames, isn't it?"; sometimes it's more covert like all of the times where Waid is actually controlling the reading experience by forcing when balloons or panels actually appear.

I think that comics are, in some ways, as much about time and space as anything else, but all of those elements really should remain in the hand of the reader -- it's my choice if I want to read all of the captions on the page first, or which elements of the illustration I choose to believe are the most significant and deserve my focus.

One last consideration is that this story is all of 33 panels long. Just over 3 pages, if it was a Watchmen-style 3x3 grid. (This is, of course, a stupid thing to say -- if this same story was told on a print page, even if it was 3x3, the rhythm of it would be ENTIRELY different; this same story would, of necessity, be a different size and shape) And while it was a well told and reasonably engaging story, I can't really see spending (let's say) 99 cents for 33 panels of comics.

Having said that, I did very much like the story, and judging it entirely on the basis of the content, I'd call it GOOD. Sadly, it also has the tech issues, and those distracted me, rather than drawing me in, and that reduces my grade, ultimately, to an OK. Still, can't beat the price, go give it a read.

SAGA #1: Now this, on the other hand, I loved.  So much so that we've put a copy is (almost) every subscribers box and are offering it 100% money-back guarantee. "Star Wars meets Game of Thrones" is the easy log-line, but the more important thing is the characters are rich, the world intriguing, the dialogue crisp, and the art really swell. There's kind of this weird "MOONSHADOW" vibe going on with the narration, but, thankfully, without the hippies. Either way, this is a wholly wonderful start to a series by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples, and I thoroughly recommend this book as one to read. EXCELLENT.

SAUCER COUNTRY #1: Hrm. On the one hand, I find a lot compelling in here (especially the ghosts [?] of Pioneer 10), on the other hand I'm not sure that the lead thrust of the book is adequately established. It's weird when the supporting characters make more of an impression than the protagonist. I'll most certainly give this another issue (or two) to grab me, but this first one didn't GRAB me all by itself. I want to give it a low GOOD, but I'm having a really hard time actually doing so... it's more like an extremely high OK.

SECRET HISTORY OF DB COOPER #1: Here's the thing: the charm of the title rally depends on you know WHO "DB Cooper" is, and based on a bunch of informal polling virtually none of my customers do (Or, perhaps, some do once you explicitly say it to them -- "oh, yeah, I've heard of him"), which means that a huge chunk of the high concept is immediately swept away. The second problem is that this issue kind of just stops, and I could not, if you put a gun to my head and forced me to jump out of an airplane with $200k, tell you whatsoever what the premise of this book ACTUALLY is, other than the vague notion from the title. There just isn't anything here to get me to come back for issue #2, I'm sorry, which is the only real goal of a first issue. So: I liked what I read, and I liked the surreal concepts I saw, but I don't know why I would spend $4 for it exactly, or why I would want to come back for #2, unlike SAUCER COUNTRY which intrigued me JUST enough to say "Sure, give me another dose". So, yeah, this is merely OK, despite my enjoying the ride as I sat on it. I'd just never stand in line for a second go, y'know?

SHADE #6: I hate this comic because the art from Javier Pulido is SO good, and yet I don't give a single wet fart about any of the not-Shade characters, or what the superhero situation in Barcelona is, at all. It's "The Atlantis Problem" for me (I care about Aquaman and Namor; I DON'T care about "Atlantis". I care about Black Bolt and Medusa; I don't give a fuck about "The Inhumans". I very much love Wonder Woman; I'd rather like the street clean than read about Amazonian culture or what the Greco-Roman gods are doing in modern America. And so on). Y'know, I think that STARMAN worked because Jack was a fine "everyman" of a protagonist; and Shade was a TREMENDOUS foil/friend for him... but I think I only care about Shade in the context of Jack's world, because every issue I sit down, eager to read, and I walk away feeling "Man, that was just OK"

WOLVERINE AND X-MEN #7: Have I said this already? If every Marvel comic was at least as good and dense and humorous as this, then maybe people would be happy to pay $4 for it. But because so many Marvel books just aren't worth the four bones, nowhere enough people are buying this book in my store, and there's this (wrong, so far, in this case) feeling like you can't just read "one" X-book. Well, you can, and it should very much be this one -- it's action packed, it's hilarious, it's incredibly energetic. Jason Aaron is one of the very few writers in comics that I can think of that seems to be able to equally handle "dense, gritty narrative" and "light-hearted romp". I love Nick Bradshaw's art, too -- it's got this nice Art Adams-y thing going on without being derivative. This is probably my favorite superhero comic being published today, and I thought this issue was VERY GOOD.

That's me, this week -- what did YOU think?

-B

"And Kindly Remove Your Pelvis..." Comics! Sometimes They Are A Lot Like Last Time But Newer (John Carter pt.2)!

 My name is John Kane and if my instructions have been honoured then what now assails your minds will be a continuation of the unfeasible events that occurred when I persisted in following the course of John Carter comics into the current Century. It is not for such as I to grant such an endeavour any merit for such a task can only fall to those who suffer the results. My chore has ended and yours has only begun...

WARLORD OF MARS #1 - #14 (of an ongoing series) Art by Stephen Sadowski, Lui Antonio, Edgar Salazar Written by Arvid Nelson Coloured by Adriano Lucas, Shane Rooks, Maxflan Araujo, Marcello Pinto Lettered by Troy Peteri, Marshall Dillon Based on the stories by Edgar Rice Burroughs (Dynamite Entertainment, $3.99ea (except #1 which was $1.00))

Previously on 'An Old Man Talks Uninformed Shite About Comics No one Cares About' I discussed comics from 1952-3 and 1972-79 and went on about changes in comic storytelling between the '50s and the '70s. But only in a general way; not in a way that's going to suggest the presence of any original thought or anything. I was pretty happy to report that comics had come on a bit in terms of technique but what about by 2010 when this Dynamite series began? That'd be roughly 60 years since the Jesse Marsh Stuff and, say, around 30 years since the DC/Marvel stuff ended. Those numbers making up in roundness what they lack in precision, somewhat akin to a large boned gentleman's reflection in a fun-house mirror.

Mars circa 2010.

It takes this series 9 issues to adapt A Princess of Mars. That's a fact. Another fact is the same ERB book was adapted by Dell and Marvel in one issue. Okay those adaptations are hardly the most elegant of things but they are certainly entertaining and have momentum. So, no, they probably aren't as rich an experience as reading the novel but they are quite a good experience as far as reading a comic goes. To pack all that stuff into one issue some pretty brutal choices have to be made about what to include and where the narrative emphasis should lie. Even though the Dynamite series has room to sprawl about the place like a boneless teenager choices have also been made. I haven't read the original ERB novels but thanks to this pointless task I have set myself I have now read no less than 5 (FIVE!!!) comic book adaptations of A Princess of Mars. None of these are exactly the same in either events or tone. In every case decisions have been made.

The Incomparable Dejah Thoris circa 2010

Tellingly the Dynamite series is touted as an "expansion of the sci-fi classic". So the fact it takes a whole heck of a lot longer to cover the same ground as previous adaptations is unsurprising. What is surprising is the time taken to get John Carter onto Mars. In the Dell series JC is on Mars by p.2, in the DC series he's there on p.5 while the Marvel series starts with him already there up to his cute tuchus in trouble! In 2010 (now sit down and have someone nearby ready to call the emergency services before you read this next bit) John Carter manifests on Mars on the 1st page of the...THIRD issue.

The only real reason to stick with a series clearly sold as being about a man having robust frolics on Mars for three issues in which his frolics are neither robust nor Mars-based is if you are a fan of ERB (or pulp) already. So, yeah, pretty much two of my least favourite modern tendencies (as in suicidal) in comics: no attempt to appeal to new readers and decompression. Stylistically this latter would be the biggest difference to have occurred in the 60 some years separating the Dell and Dynamite material. The boon of having plenty of room to spread any artistic wings is pissed away due to a lack of inclination to do so in a way which is constructive and a maddening tendency to prevaricate. But it's okay for modern comics to do that because the audience isn't going anywhere is it? Well, I guess I'm looking at different sales figures because that audience certainly seems to be going somewhere.

Mars Action circa 2010.

(About decompression. Now, I'm aware that decompression can be a valid literary device but I am also aware that the term is often invoked in order to lend legitimacy to what is clearly better described as taking the piss. Language is quite a powerful thing and I think it is time we reclaimed "decompression" from those who abuse it to the furtherance of fluffing up both their own and their audience's egos. Next time you see the word 'decompression' try mentally replacing it with 'taking the piss'. I think the results will delight you! (Note: unless you are a diver in which  case I suggest you stick to 'decompression'.))

John Carter circa 2010.

Now those are harmful inclinations but they are hardly unique to this comic (which is why they are so especially infuriating) and to judge this series on those grounds alone would be unfair. It's not a bad little series. There's evidence that some thought has gone into the presentation of the material. The narration is presented in a typeface akin to that in a words-alone book, there's some attempt at supplementary material intended to evoke the "true story" aspect of the original novels and the choice to up the ante on the tits'n'gizzards has clearly been made at an early stage. And, like a Calot returning to its own vomit, it's this I'd like to look at again.

You could be forgiven for believing that I am some kind of sweaty one-handed reader who won't be satisfied until all comics resemble nothing so much as a fiesta of fur and quivering meat but this isn't the case. I just think you should show commitment to things. Commitment is a big thing in my household. I know my Incomparable partner is always trying to get me committed. Particularly after reading one of these things.  But although there is more gore and more nekkidery than in any previous iteration of this here ERB IP, it's all a bit half-assed. People like the nudey-roo aspect to this stuff so: John Carter does at least have the (in)decency to be swinging in the wind initially, the incomparable Dejah Thoris is unlikely to suffer from rashes due to her detergent,  and then there are those "risque" covers. But... John Carter has to contort himself comically to avoid a glimpse of his carrot and taters, the incomparable one is too often shown quailing or threatened and those covers are censored.  There just doesn't seem to be much point to it really. If you're going to get down there then get down and roll around,  I say. After all, it isn't as if Dynamite are in thrall to the demands of the ERB estate is it? Which reminds me:

Martian irony circa 2010.

There are three different artists throughout the course of the book so far. Initially it's Stephen Sadowski and I'll just say that if you're having cowboys in your book it's probably best get people who can draw hats on people's heads. I know it's not the easiest thing in the world and even Lovely Lou Fine wasn't very good at it, but still. Sadowski crops up later on and hilariously depicts the incomparable Dejah Thoris wearing more to bed than at any other point in the series. Sadowski's photo derived work bookends the contributions of Lui Antonio who has a nicely blocky approach that's kind of sub-Art Adams. It's clean, nice art but, unlike Art Adams, a little light on the details and Antonio has a tendency to give JC a big vein on each arm suggesting nothing so much as sword wielding phalli. Which could be entirely intentional but is surely unnerving. Salazar crops up in the later issues and I really don't like his brittle line, lacking as it does any confidence in itself and lending the book a hesitant and scratchy look. (Pulp should never be hesitant.) On words Nelson does a decent job. It all bustles along, things happen and it's entertaining enough with even a glimpse of humour here and there ("Kiss me, you Calot!"). He really earns his money with the second arc which is a kind of murder mystery without JC but starring his son and is, thus, about as satisfying as tuning into Scooby-Doo only to find it's an episode all about Scrappy. Still Nelson manfully manages to keep it rolling along and through into the latest issues where unfortunately, for this reader, his solid work is unable to distract from the eye-prickling art. Overall, since most of my quibbles and carps were aimed at modern comics generally rather than this one in particular, the series is OKAY!

WARLORD OF MARS: DEJAH THORIS #1 - #9 (of an ongoing series) Art by Carlos Rafael Written By Arvid Nelson Coloured by Carlos Lopez Lettered by Marshall Dillon Based on the stories by Edgar Rice Burroughs (Dynamite Entertainment, $3.99ea)

Ah. Yes. Another tendency in the modern genre comic scene is to milk that IP teat until it is sore. So here we have a solo title for The Incomparable One. These tales are set before John Carter turns up so The incomparable one is only a mere slip of a girl at this stage, probably barely in her 5th Century. Oh yes, from reading all these books I have learned that Martians are born from eggs, mature quickly and age slowly, live to be about 1,000 years old (unless someone stabs them or they are eaten by some of the more agile fauna) at which point they go off and commit unassisted suicide by the River Iss (a kind of more brutal Dignitas). Unsettlingly this means John Carter has shacked up with some old crone who lays eggs. This makes John Carter possibly the only fictional character who engages in procreation with a geriatric, suicidal monotreme.

"...(s)he's an egg-laying mammal of action!.."

Unfortunately the reality of this series is entirely more conventional than the preceding would have you believe. (Pulp should never be conventional). Illustrated in a sub-Frank Cho style the art is clean and cartoony. Although both male and female Martians are both dressed quite minimally it's clear that The Incomparable Dejah Thoris is dressed more minimally than most. Since these stories are solid little genre adventures in which the main novelty is the fact that the lead character is a capable and independent lady equally comfortable politicking or shellacking they sound quite progressive. Progressive for mainstream genre comics anyway. Sadly this is somewhat undermined by the fact that The Incomparable Dejah Thoris is continually contorting herself to display her assets to their best advantage. This can be overlooked in action scenes due to their physical nature but the  talking scenes are somewhat undermined by her tendency to present herself like a horny ape to some invisible suitor.  The series is, however, in no way the kind of sordid disgrace that mainstream genre comics featuring partially robed ladies are inclined towards and is entertaining in a lurid and daft way. And in Pulp that is OKAY!

WARLORD OF MARS: FALL OF BARSOOM #1 - #2 ( of Four) Art by Roberto Castro Written by Robert Place Napton Coloured by Alex Guimaraes Lettered by Simon Bowland Inspired by the stories of Edgar Rice Burroughs (Dynamite Entertainment, $3.99ea)

Or Palping The Teat Part Two. This comic is is set "100,000 years before John Carter arrived on Mars." That's ludicrous. Which is a shame as the thrice-named Napton delivers a decent three stranded pulp narrative that is only slightly undermined by decompression and generic dialogue.  Roberto Castro is a bit too cross-hatchy for my tastes even going so far as to edge into Liefeldian which, since I am not one of those youngsters with their elder-baiting Liefeld-revisionism, is not a good thing for me. It's EH! which is not something that a spin-off title needs to be. What with WoM:DT and this we can see the third fatal tendency of the modern marketplace in full effect: dilution of the IP, over-saturation of the market, cutting off your nose to spite your face, call it what you will it's not good. Now Dynamite are publishing Not-Tarzan comics I am waiting with bated breath for Cheetah: Year One! filled with all the shit slinging, nit picking, teeth baring and frenzied humping fans of chimps all over the world have come to know and love. Seriously, "100,000 years before John Carter arrived on Mars." Christ.

JOHN CARTER OF MARS: A PRINCESS OF MARS #1 - #5 (of Five) Art by Filipe Andrade Written by Roger Langridge Coloured by Sonny Gho Lettered by VC's Cory Petit Based on the works of Edgar Rice Burroughs (Marvel Comics, $2.99ea)

This was by far the best of the JC comics I read during this expensive and time consuming exercise in senseless self-flagellation. Roger Langridge's script is fast paced (JC's already on Mars when it starts), packed with well paced incident, brief suspensions of action to allow for the smaller, quieter scenes to occur and it's also a little bit tongue-in-cheek. It's good stuff but the humour doesn't quite sit right. In the merit column it does allow John Carter to actually appear to possess some form of personality. Such a thing hasn't really been in evidence in the comics prior to this. Pulp heroes not being noted for their rich (or indeed any) characterisation I can't say I'd really noticed until Langridge offered up an alternative. Usually John Carter is in love with Dejah Thoris, good at killing stuff and, er, generally upbeat. Here John Carter has a sense of humour as well. However, he appears to have Roger Langridge's sense of humour; which is okay as Roger Langridge is a funny man but isn't okay because, unless I missed something, Roger Langridge isn't a Virginian gentleman of the 1860's. So when John Carter makes jokes about mints on pillows, giving only his name rank and serial number or uses a particularly legendarily bad chat-up line it does tend to ruffle the reader's immersion in the doings.

Mars circa 2011.

Mind you, the flashback sequence is brief and none too clear. It could very well be that the intention was to leave Carter's earthly origins vague to allow just such humour to be possible. It may be that I brought an ungodly amount of prior John Carter comics to bear on this series and got the wrong end of the stick. If I did, I apologise and I do at least concede that Langridge's humour is actually funny, which is probably the most important thing really.

The Incomparable Dejah Thoris circa 2011

The series also dodges the problems with gore'n'genitals by opting to go the clean-cut route. This turns out to be a wise decision. The incomparable Dejah Thoris is well covered and so it is easier to believe John Carter is in actual fact in love with her as a person rather just in love with having her fine caboose ride his cock horse. That's nice. I can do romantic too. I can. Stop laughing.

Mars Action circa 2011.

The violence is good and violent but not overdone. Thanks to Filipe Andrade's fine work the fight scenes are more suggestive than ham-handedly bloody. In fact Filipe Andrade's work on this is pretty great. It's like the designs on an Ancient Greek vase have come to life and started running around and having smashing adventures. It is visually stylish and arresting work that nicely embodies the archaic nature of both the setting and the source material itself while being visually inventive enough to appear startlingly fresh, particularly in comparison with the somewhat familiar styles of art present in the other modern day John Carter books. Filipe Andrade - I like him!

John Carter circa 2011.

I was expecting the least from this one given it's origins but it just goes to show that you should always go on the talent rather than the publisher. (I have no idea why people have a loyalty to particular comics publishers. It baffles me.) Langridge rarely disappoints and continues not to here and Andrade is a lovely discovery for me. It isn't my ideal JC comic (That would be: cover by Corben, words by Lansdale, art by Veitch. Thanks for asking. Took you long enough.) but it ain't half bad. In fact I'll go up to VERY GOOD!

JOHN CARTER: THE WORLD OF MARS #1 - #4 (of Four) Art by Luke Ross Written By Peter David Coloured by Ulises Arreola Lettered by VC's Cory Petit Based on characters created by Edgar Rice Burroughs and the screenplay JOHN CARTER by Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews and Michael Chabon. (Marvel Comics, $3.99ea)

This one I regret to inform all is a blatant cash-grab that takes up four issues with what can generously be described as one issues worth of content. That's not to insult the creative team who I am sure enhance the lives of everyone they come into contact with. They've clearly been given the thankless task of providing a prequel to a film which by the very nature of the premise it is prequelling cannot actually feature the main character of said film or even allow the supporting characters to meet even though their adventures must have some connection. The real interest thus becomes seeing how Peter David will negotiate this thankless task. He has a good stab but the unavoidably inessential nature of the material is never in doubt, which really spoils the reading experience. Luke Ross' art is odd because he's really good at the bits that don't involve humans. He's got a nice thick line with a lovely crayon like effect that lends life and vigour to creatures that are clearly only of the imagination. Alas, his humans are stiff and overact and his landscapes are just photographs with minimal effects. Look, I'm tired of John Carter now so let's just say it was AWFUL!

So, 60 some years of John Carter comics there. I guess I should draw some conclusions? Up to 1979 there's one defining characteristic of the JC comics. The people involved seem to be having fun. Whether it's Jesse Marsh amusing himself by drawing works of art on the walls of his backgrounds, Sal Amendola outstripping his talent with his ambition or just the prurient purple prose of the Marvel stuff fun is clearly being had. It's an inclusive kind of fun, too.

There's less of this in the 21st Century stuff. Less enjoyment in both the form and the content. A lot of the time it just reads like it was work, a job. Which it was, of course. But equally so was the earlier stuff. That's why the Langridge/Felipe series seems so much brighter than all those series surrounding it. Heck, I'm sure everyone involved in all these comics had fun. There are probably interviews where they stress how much fun it was, how it engendered an almost obscene thrill to be involved in the expansion of his venerable ERB IP. There are always interviews alike that, about everything. What there aren't a lot of are comics that actually feel like they are interested in reaching out and including the audience in that fun. Look, I don't really know what pulp should be but I think it should be fun. Thankfully Roger Langridge and Felipe Andrade at least seem to agree.

Now that I have fulfilled the instructions of my delusional relative and allowed the clearly addled fruit of his stunted tree of a mind to fall before your eyes but one task remains to me. For I shall tell you now that he directed that I remove his body to Yorkshire without embalming and that he be laid in a Mylar bag of unfeasible dimensions upon an acid free board of card of similar size, therein to be sealed with tape. Clearly the man was a fool of the first order but I did as bade and can testify with a true tongue that, to this day, although his body has yellowed around the edges somewhat he remains, these many years hence, still Mint to Near Mint. Remarkable indeed.

Yours very sincerely

ERB

Have a good weekend, all, and remember to read some COMICS!!!

Wait, What? Ep. 78: Quotes From Pandora Three-Sixteen

(This installment's accidental shout-out courtesy of Action Comics #7)

Normally, I try and pitch some rhetorical woo at you as a way to encourage or remind you to listen to this miniature stage play of the mind  Graeme (with his smooth, Noel Cowardesque line delivery) and I (with my stammering Method Actor incoherence) offer up each week.

However, as the soul-stealing monster known as Daylight Savings Time has arrived to demand the tribute of an hour from each of us trembling villagers, I fear I've got nothing especially fleet-footed with which to charm you, merely the verbal posturings of the maladroit and the overwrought.  The sundial? Tis broken.  The hourglass? Now hollow.

But if you wish to remember me fondly, then give Wait, What? Ep. 78 a chance:  it has Graeme and I discussing what Savage Critic rating we would give The Bible; spinoff books that can never seem to escape their progenitors; drug use and Dr. Who abuse; Action Comics, The Legion of Superheroes, Birds of Prey, and spinoff books that can never escape their progenitors; Fairest; the first issues of Saucer Country, Hell Yeah, Manhattan Projects (with spoilers for the first issue), and Superbia, Fatale #3; Fantastic Four: Season One; the amazing King City trade paperback from Brandon Graham; Detective Comics; G.I. Joe: Cobra; Wolverine #302; the DC Nation block on Cartoon Network, and much, much more.

iTunes is a wish that your heart makes (when your heart wishes for a cumbersome and inept media management program that gets totally fuxxored if you download the same update more than once, anyway) and so our latest episode should be discoverable there, but you are also invited to lasso that ethereal doggy right here, below:

Wait, What? Ep. 78.1: Quotes from Pandora Three-Sixteen

As always, we appreciate your patronage and hope you enjoy our latest offering!

Arriving 3/14/2012

That's a LOT more stuff shipping than the previous two weeks... I'm most excited by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staple's SAGA #1 -- that's some spiffy-ass comics there!

ADVENTURE TIME #2 ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #227 ARTIFACTS #15 AVENGERS #24 AVENGERS ASSEMBLE #1 BATGIRL #7 BATMAN AND ROBIN #7 BATTLE SCARS #5 (OF 6) BATWOMAN #7 BLUE ESTATE #10 BTVS SEASON 9 FREEFALL #7 BUCKAROO BANZAI #1 (RES) CAPTAIN AMERICA #9 CARNAGE USA #4 (OF 5) CARTOON NETWORK ACTION PACK #67 CONAN THE BARBARIAN #2 CROSSED BADLANDS #1 DAKEN DARK WOLVERINE #22 DARK MATTER #3 (OF 4) DARK SHADOWS #4 DEATHSTROKE #7 DEMON KNIGHTS #7 DOCTOR WHO ONGOING VOL 2 #15 ELRIC THE BALANCE LOST #9 EXILE ON THE PLANET OF THE APES #1 (OF 4) FANTASTIC FOUR #604 FRANKENSTEIN AGENT OF SHADE #7 GLORY #24 GODZILLA LEGENDS #5 (OF 5) GREEN LANTERN #7 GRIFTER #7 GRIMM FAIRY TALES #68 INCREDIBLE HULK #6 INFESTATION 2 GI JOE #1 (OF 2) JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #635 KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #184 LEGION LOST #7 LOBSTER JOHNSON THE BURNING HAND #3 (OF 5) LOCKE & KEY CLOCKWORKS #5 (OF 6) MARKSMEN #6 (OF 6) MEGA MAN #11 MISADVENTURES OF ADAM WEST ONGOING #2 MISTER TERRIFIC #7 MOUSE GUARD BLACK AXE #4 (OF 6) MY GREATEST ADVENTURE #6 (OF 6) NANCY IN HELL ON EARTH #2 (OF 4) NINJETTES #2 NORTHANGER ABBEY #5 (OF 5) NORTHLANDERS #49 (RES) NOWHERE MAN #2 (OF 4) ORCHID #5 PC CAST HOUSE OF NIGHT #5 (OF 5) PETER PANZERFAUST #2 POWERS #9 PUNISHER #9 RAY #4 (OF 4) RESURRECTION MAN #7 ROBERT E HOWARDS SAVAGE SWORD #4 SAGA #1 SAUCER COUNTRY #1 SCARLET SPIDER #3 SECRET HISTORY OF DB COOPER #1 SHADE #6 (OF 12) SIMPSONS COMICS #188 STAR TREK 100 PAGE SPECTACULAR 2012 STAR WARS AGENT O/T EMPIRE IRON ECLIPSE #4 (OF 5) STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC WAR #3 (OF 5) STRAIN #4 (OF 12) SUICIDE SQUAD #7 SUPER HEROES #24 SUPERBOY #7 THIEF OF THIEVES #2 TRANSFORMERS MORE THAN MEETS EYE ONGOING #3 ULTIMATE COMICS X-MEN #9 UNWRITTEN #35  (NOTE PRICE) WAR GODDESS #6 WARLORD OF MARS #16 WASTELAND #35 WOLVERINE AND X-MEN #7 X-23 #21 X-MEN LEGACY #263

Books / Mags / Stuff ARCHIE AMERICANA HC VOL 03 BEST OF THE 60S (IDW) ARCHIE THE MARRIED LIFE TP VOL 02 ART OF MOLLY CRABAPPLE SC VOL 01 WEEK IN HELL ART OF TARA MCPHERSON HC VOL 03 BUNNY I/T MOON AVENGERS ASSEMBLE HISTORY OF EARTHS HEROES GN TP AVENGERS BY BENDIS HEROIC AGE HC MOVIE CVR AVENGERS CHILDRENS CRUSADE HC AVENGERS ROAD TO MARVEL AVENGERS TP BATMAN YEAR ONE DELUXE EDITION HC COMPLETE CRUMB TP VOL 01 EARLY YEARS OF BITTER STRUGGLE (NEW COMPLETE PEANUTS HC VOL 17 1983-1984 CRIME DOES NOT PAY ARCHIVES HC VOL 01 CROSSED HC VOL 03 PSYCHOPATH CROSSED TP VOL 03 PSYCHOPATH DAREDEVIL BY RIVERA POSTER DC UNIVERSE BY ALAN MOORE HC DC VINTAGE COMIC COVER 4PC PINT GLASS SET DRAW #22 ELEKTRA BY GREG RUCKA ULTIMATE COLLECTION TP ESSENTIAL X-MEN TP VOL 10 FLASHPOINT WORLD OF FLASHPOINT BATMAN TP FLASHPOINT WORLD OF FLASHPOINT SUPERMAN TP FLASHPOINT WORLD OF FLASHPOINT WONDER WOMAN TP GEORGE PEREZ ART OF HC HAWK AND DOVE GHOSTS AND DEMONS TP NEW ED JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY FEAR ITSELF FALLOUT PREM HC MARVEL FIRSTS 1970S TP VOL 02 MONSTERMEN AND OTHER SCARY STORIES HC NORTHLANDERS TP VOL 06 THORS DAUGHTER QUEEN CRAB HC SHOWCASE PRESENTS YOUNG LOVE TP VOL 01 SKINNER EVERY MAN IS MY ENEMY HC SPIDER-MAN AND NEW WARRIORS HERO KILLERS TP STAN LEE SECRETS BEHIND THE COMICS SC (RES) ULTIMATE COMICS AVENGERS VS NEW ULTIMATES DOSM TP UNCANNY X-MEN BY KIERON GILLEN PREM HC VOL 01 WOMANTHOLOGY HEROIC HC WONDER WOMAN ODYSSEY HC VOL 02 X-MEN SEASON ONE PREM HC

What looks good to YOU?

-B

How can ya' miss me when you've forgotten who I am?

Ah yes, reviews, I remember those! Been a while, but I think I'm finally back on the weekly-review-train now! ACTION COMICS #7: I know the book's been a little uneven, but the issues that are good are so good that it makes my teeth hurt. I thought this was one of those issues. I'd rather read Morrison doing Superman than almost any other superhero comic by almost any other creator. I'm a little amused, however, that Brainiac is, y'know, the internet. VERY GOOD.

AGE OF APOCALYPSE #1: I have little-to-no natural affection for any of these characters (I sort of think the IDEA of the original AoA was more interesting then the actual execution), but I thought this was non-heinous, with some pretty nice art from Roberto De La Torre. What I don't see is how this is an ongoing series, because I can't imagine that (even with the X-Force lead in), there's more than, say, 10k people (by issue 4 or 5) who will want to read about alternate universe version of the X-Men? it's strange to me -- this is the kind of book that Marvel used to make fun of DC about (alternate versions of the same characters), but that Marvel is doing in multiple ways now (Ultimates, Zombies, this) -- this is the kind of thing that led to CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, y'know? Anyway, this comic is perfectly OK for the kind of thing it is

AVENGERS ACADEMY #27: This, on the other hand, I thought was terrific -- funny, and real conflict and stakes, and just really being the "legacy" comic in a way that DC has entirely walked away from now with the 52. The "voice" of some of the Runaways is a little off, but over all, I thought this was a fun little romp of a comic, and was VERY GOOD.

AVENGERS CHILDRENS CRUSADE #9: If this had come out over the course of 9 months, I think we'd all be talking about what a great comic it was; but, of course, it has been TWENTY months, and the Marvel universe this story began in is kinda different than the one today. Characters live, characters die, and "Young Avengers" is largely thrown away as a concept by the end of this -- which is too bad, because I liked that first incarnation a whole lot. I'm glad Hulkling and Wiccan get their kiss at the end, though. Overall, I'll go with GOOD here, I think.

DEFENDERS #4: I pretty much flat out hated the first three issues -- I'd probably not have disliked it had it been, like, "Magic Man" and "Kung Fu Guy" instead of "Doctor Strange" and "Iron Fist", if you see what I mean? I just don't think that the characterization Fraction tried to graft on here really bore any relationship to past characterizations -- but this issue I kinda liked just fine. The problem is, at $4 a throw, the audience has now made up their minds about whether they like the book or not, and you have to hit the ball right in the first issue... you can't wait until #4. Either way, I can give it a low GOOD, but it's probably too late -- we sold 32 copies of #1, and just a meager 13 of #3.

FAIREST #1: I thought the premise of this FABLES spin-off was "it focuses on the female Fables"? *looks at the cover* Yeah, that's how they're selling it. So... why no female Fables as anything other than furniture here? This is the comics equivalent of the Senate hearing on Contraception, isn't it? Also, I have to say that I think the choice of the flat matte paper was a poor one with fully digital painted art -- it looks muddy and bland, and, frankly, ugly to my eye. Shockingly EH.

GREEN ARROW #7: Ann Nocenti's first issue... and it's just kind of weird, sort of like her later DD run. I mean, I liked it, don't get me wrong, and it's a big step up from the first six issues of this version, but triplet mutant killer seductresses? Mm, dunno. Also: what on the earth could they possible have "twelve of these" be referring to? Did they each lose eight toes, somehow?

Oh, and here's where I'll slot in the rant against the new DC logo. Here's how you know it is an utter and abject failure as a static object: they have to print the words "DC Comics" underneath it so that anyone could POSSIBLY tell that that is what it means. *sigh*

Anyway, Green Arrow #7: A strong OK.

MANHATTAN PROJECTS #1: I thought this was utterly spiffy, with a wonderful Jonathan Hickman high concept (if I tell you it, I'll thoroughly spoil the comic), and some really terrific art from Nick Pitarra. Man, it's kinda like a younger Frank Quitely. Image is on a helluva roll these days, isn't it? VERY GOOD.

NIGHT FORCE #1: Well, it was fairly pretty, but I really had no idea why I should care, or whom I should root for. Much like the original series, when i think about it. EH.

STORMWATCH #7: Paul Jenkins comes in as new writer, and it's a little better, though I'm still not finding the compelling reason for these characters to be together. At least when it was THE AUTHORITY, you got the who "We're smarter than you" Warren Ellisy vibe going for it. Very strongly OK, but not any better than that.

SUPURBIA #1: Ah, if only this hadn't been so strictly mapped to existing archetypes, I might have been more attracted to it, but I don't really need YET ANOTHER pastiche of Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman, I don't think. "The Real Housewives of Superville" is a fun enough pitch, and the execution was at least competent, but this largely feels recycled and warmed over. OK.

SWAMP THING #7: SEVEN ISSUES for the protagonist to actually appear in his own comic, terrific. And yet, I still like it adequately. I really do rather hope that out protagonist and antagonist both manage to defy their expectations -- but I also think that this "rot" plotline just can't go on indefinitely, and may already be outstaying it's welcome. One problem: the big Green Guy is too wicked powerful -- look at the way he routed all of those minions in a single double page spread. I'll just barely give it a low GOOD.

ULTIMATE COMICS SPIDER-MAN #8: I'm kind of creeped out that the guy on the cover looks very little like the guy actually in the comic book. There's also something boringly predictable about the Aunt May and Uncle Prowler scenes -- now all we need is for Nick Fury to step back in where he left off. When you add that to how Miles' voice is virtually identical to Peter's... well, I'm kind of not feeling this book, sorry. (especially for $4, jebus!) EH.

Right, that's me... what did YOU think?

-B

"I'm A MAN, And I'll LOVE You As A Man Loves A ..." Comics! Sometimes There's A Film Out As Well! (John Carter!)

So, yeah, there's a John Carter film out on Friday. Not that I ever get to the pictures anymore but, hey, you might! In the meantime you could read this about some comics featuring the same character. It's a thought isn't it. Probably one more than went into the writing of this. Hey, can CGI do this?:

No, no it can not. You lose CGI!

I guess I should start with a disclaimer: I'm not really an Edgar Rice Burroughs fan; indeed I don't even know if I have read the source novels for these comics. So if you're looking for an informed Burroughsian monograph you might want to jump off right here. What follows is just some old gimp prattling about some comics, because what he really likes is comics. And prattling.

EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS’ JOHN CARTER OF MARS: THE JESSE MARSH YEARS Drawn by Jesse Marsh. Scripted by Paul S. Newman. Foreword by Mario Henandez. Collects Four Color Comics #375, #437 and #488, originally published in 1952 and 1953 by Dell Publishing Co., inc. (Dark Horse Books, 2010, $29.99)

I bought this book because once I'd seen the cover it refused to entirely leave my mind and was constantly hovering there urgently pressing me to purchase it at some point. I think it was the really solid no-nonsense blacks that fixed the image to the page and into my mind. At the time I had been admiring Don Heck's solid blacks and this seemed to play off and feed into that brief flare of interest. Also, there was something very Gilbert Hernandez about it what with the intentionally(?) stilted poses , the harsh crease lines and the occasional smattering of dots for texture. So I bought the book with some Christmas money and prepared to be disappointed. Obviously the cover was just a lucky image that Dark Horse were using to lure credulous punters like myself into buying reprints of justly forgotten chaff as the Hollywood version of the material slowly hove into view.

I was wrong.

Mars circa 1952.

This book was fantastic. Jesse Marsh is fantastic. This isn't actually news to anyone except me it seems. He's actually on the list of possible inductees into the 2012 Eisner's Hall of Fame. Casting my mind back I recall interviews with Alex Toth and Howard Victor Chaykin (who is also on the 2012 Hall of Fame list. What a dilemma!) in which both mention Jesse Marsh. Still, it's one thing hearing about a comic artist's work and seeing it.

Actually looking at it Marsh's work looks totally ahead of its time. Wait, let's back up. I'm not saying anyone could mistake these comics for modern comics. The very nature of the material works against Marsh in this regard. For a start each of the three reprinted comics are tasked with adapting an entire Edgar Rice Burroughs' novel in 32 pages. There's no time for shilly-shallying, no room for indulgences like splash pages, very little chance for a panel's art to be unadorned by narration or dialogue. No, Marsh has to fit it all in to a series of pages consisting of (roughly) 6x6 grids where his greatest indulgence is to let two such panels bleed together either vertically or horizontally. And he doesn't get to do that all that often. Cramped and constricted as he is by the format Marsh has the technique to deliver the equivalent of putting on a musical in an elevator. That's where the 'ahead of its time' bit comes in; in the actual art.

The Incomporable Dejah Thoris - Circa 1952.

There's a colossally impressive understanding of design on show. Because Marsh is working in the highly strictured world of '50s comics (and Gold Key were particularly inflexible in format) Marsh is unable to do anything about the actual page design but the design of the panels themselves are beautifully chosen to balance the elements within them. And (get this) the actual elements within the panels are further forays into design by an artist who was clearly just so incredibly good at what he did he could do the incredible just to keep himself amused. What other reason can there be for the pictures/sculptures/scenery with which Marsh surrounds his characters? His sculptures and pictures are so good I have the suspicion that they are actual object d'art that only my lack of breeding and education prevent me from identifying. The fact they change from panel to panel (even when the scene has not changed!) suggest Marsh was just larking about. But, what larks!

Martian Action! Circa 1952.

But, no, you aren't going to mistake these comics for the cutting edge of Now. Marsh's work does have its failings but although the characters may be stiff  it must be said they are distinctive. The "incomparable" Dejah Thoris seems to have been modelled on the actor Emily Watson which can't be right? John Carter isn't terribly expressive but he does look like himself in every scene and doesn't look like anyone else and you can't always say that about even modern comics. Although the big thing everyone gets sweaty about with Burrough's Mars novels is that everyone is nudey rude except for weapons and jewelry everyone here is fully dressed.  So, I guess purist might balk but all the incident, adventure and momentum of good pulp entertainment remain intact. Given the task of illustrating the functional script of Paul S. Newman Marsh manages to not only provide work which does so but at the same time carves out room to indulge his own idiosyncrasies and interests in a way which actually serves to enhance the work rather than distract or undermine its primary purpose: to entertain.

John Carter circa 1952.

One for the folks interested in form rather than content, or the talent rather than the character if you like.  VERY GOOD!

EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS’ JOHN CARTER OF MARS: WEIRD WORLDS Art by Sal Amendola, Murphy Anderson, Gray Morrow and Joe Orlando. Written by Marv Wolfman. Introduction by Marv Wolfman. Collects stories from Tarzan #207-209 and Weird Worlds #1-#7, originally published in 1972 and 1973 by DC Comics. (Dark Horse Books, 2011, $14.99)

In 1971 as a hedge against the possibility that super-heroes had outstayed their welcome DC comics cast about for properties to replace them. Tarzan and the other ERB properties, including John Carter, caught DC's fancy since they were still adventure themed but more sober in appearance than super-heroes. This tells us that people are always predicting the end of super-hero comics and sobriety is pretty subjective. Good news for drunks, then! Great news for The Incomparable Joe Kubert who took the lead on the project. While his creative talents were focused on Tarzan he took on editorial duties for the other ERB character, such as John Carter. According to Bill Schelly's Man of Rock: A Biography of Joe Kubert (which I am filleting facts from in an attempt to look knowledgeable) Murphy Anderson and Marv Wolfman got the John Carter assignment because they were big John Carter fans. Apparently Michael William Kaluta wanted the gig but Murphy Anderson got it, mostly because he shared an office with Pappy Joe Kubert and was asked first. Not exactly high drama but that's what happened.  (You could have guessed Granite Joe Kubert had edited these stories because he can't help sticking his inky fingers in the Gray Morrow chapter on on pg17-22.) Anyway, the comics that resulted are collected in this book.

Mars circa 1972.

Given the fact that fully two decades separate the work in this volume and that contained in the Marsh volume discussed earlier it's interesting to see how the comic art approach has changed. There's a lot more variety in page design in 1971 with panels inset into double page splashes, flashback panels with wobbly edges, decorative chapter headings a la old timey newspaper strips and on and on. What's clear is that the artist has far more freedom to control the visual presentation of the material. In between Marsh and Anderson's work something new has appeared: pacing. There is no pacing in the Marsh book; there's no opportunity for it. But in this volume it's evident that the writer/artist are able to actually pace their material. The material may have set limits as to length but these limits are far more generous than those Marsh was labouring under.

The Incomparable Dejah Thoris circa 1972.

There's also a lot more freedom with regards to sex'n'violence. In the '50s material the incomparable Dejah Thoris was wrapped up like a shoolmarm but by the '70s she's certainly giving herself a good airing. Don't worry though because in the '50s John Carter was decked out like a Hussar but by the '70s he's all raggedy loincloth and musky muscles so noone's playing favourites here. Poor old Jesse Marsh had at best a couple of panels to depict savage action on worlds unknown but Anderson et al fare better with plenty of room to swing a Thark.

Martian Action! Circa 1972.

The ERB books didn't really sell very well and after a while moves were made to bring in cheaper foreign artists which probably explains why Murphy Anderson's contributions stop on pg. 68 and Sal Amendola finishes off the rest of the book. I'm not saying Sal Amendola was foreign (to American shores) but I am betting he was cheaper.  After the somewhat traditional art preceding it the book suddenly explodes into a Barbarellatastic mindmelt of groovy layouts and gear designs, man. Well, it tries to. Alas, Sal Amedola is hampered by a lack of talent but the surfeit of ambition he possesses almost overcomes this. I said "almost". It isn't very pretty but I admire the energy; that's about as good as it gets with the Sal Amendola stuff. He does, however, chuck in some nudey rudery for the hardcore Burroughs' fans which is amusingly cheeky of him.

John Carter circa 1972.

As a complete TPB this one disappoints in that it starts off with some strong and solid work by industry vets but is compromised halfway through by market considerations to ultimatley produce a collection that I can only call OKAY!

EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS’ JOHN CARTER OF MARS: WARLORD OF MARS Art by Ross Andru, Bob Budiansky, Sal Buscema, Ernie Chan, Dave Cockrum, Ernie Colon, Frank Giacoia, Larry Hama, Carmine Infantino, Gil Kane, Bob McLeod, Frank Miller, George Perez, Walt Simonson, Mike Vosburg and Alan Weiss. Words by Chris Claremont, Peter Gillis, Bill Mantlo, Alan Weiss and Marv Wolfman Foreword by Michael Chabon Collects John Carter, Warlord of Mars #1-#28 and Annuals #1-#3 originally published in 1977-79 by Marvel Comics. (Dark Horse Books, 2011, $29.99)

Pulp got Gil Kane early and pulp got Gil Kane but good. Although he was often opining that Comics needed to mature itself in terms of subject matter, he, himself, was never able to escape the grip pulp held on his imagination. Gil Kane was a great, great man but his tastes could tend to the unsophisticated. Luckily since that was the very problem he berated comics for he may have been held back creatively but it didn't hurt him commercially. Particularly in the '70s when pulp's stock was strong in the comics market and he had plenty of juice himself.

Mars circa 1977.

In the '70s Kane spent a lot of time working up books he'd be interested in doing, starting them, realising he couldn't produce pages fast enough to pay him enough, leave the book, work up a book he's be interested in doing...and rinse, repeat. He was like the goddamn Littlest Hobo of comics or something ("There’s a voice that keeps on calling me. Down the road is where I’ll always be").  I'm being 'exasperated' because that behaviour makes it really hard to get good long runs of his stuff in collections. Obviously I know that's really not any concern of Gil Kane but  equally obviously it does mean I'm glad to have this volume.

The Incomparable Dejah Thoris circa 1977.

So, yeah, my primary interest in this volume is the Gil Kane stuff. That's a good 190 pages. After that my attention started to wander a bit but I can assure you that the Gil Kane on these pages is some good Gil. As usual his natural glory is clothed by inks by someone else which isn't ideal but hardly a deal breaker. Most of the time the inks are by Rudy Nebres or other Filipino artists of the period. Which is fine as this  lends everything an ornate quality appropriate to the pulp material. It helps make up for Kane's shortcomings. Oh, I love old Gil I do, I do but he did suffer from visual generalisation quite a bit. C'mon, we speak freely here; his future buildings and his ancient buildings are only distinguishable because the latter have some cracks in and a tree growing out of a window while the former doesn't. So, while it's usual to bemoan the fact it isn't Kane on Kane action for this volume it works out okay; the ripe inking lends everything a distinctive character Kane would probably have omitted if left to his own devices.

Martian Action! Circa 1977.

Where Kane doesn't need any help is in portraying the supple violence of well honed bodies in motion, communicating the lusty allure of his sexy ladies and his even more alluring men and basically creating such an atmosphere of raw physicality that it practically removes the readers glasses and tells them they are beautiful. Or something. I like Gil Kane's art, it sends me. Of course like any good bad boy he's gone when he's had his fill and Kane's departure makes the book stumble a little but the continued use of Rudy Nebres gives it enough visual continuity to keep it upright and interesting. For a while anyway. Storywise it's just the usual pulp stuff. In that it's more important that things happen than that the things that happen actually make sense. In fact the more outlandish and sense defying the better. The Headmen of Mars by Bill Mantlo and Ernie Chan is a particularly proud erection to the joys of sheer momentum and excess over intellect. It's pulp and it's written as such so the words don't treally bear close examination. Ah, but that's what they want you to think. If, however, you do pay attention to the words you find that EDGAR RICE BURROUGHS’ JOHN CARTER OF MARS: WARLORD OF MARS is in fact lubricated with sly innuendo and at times this reaches such steamy excess that it wouldn't be too great a surprise if the pages dilated at the touch of your enquiring fingers or let loose a soft sigh at the insistent pressure of your questing gaze.

I'm not joking. Not only are John Carter and the Incomparable Dejah Thoris continually on their way to/from the boudoir but you get the impression that if it weren't for all these Master Assassins of Mars, zombie hordes, air-pirates of Mars etc. they would be quite happy just letting John Carter make good on all his multiple breathy promises to "love her as only a husband can love a wife", "kiss her as she has never been kissed before" and "get right in there and root around like a monkey looking for nuts".  This reaches delirious heights on p. 306 when the text reads:

"With a SKILL that still occasionally SURPRISES me--I MATCHED course and speed with Dejah's flier and DOCKED the two craft together. A moment later I was at her ENTRY HATCH--With a cry torn from her SOUL, she sprang into my arms --I will not DWELL on what happened next."

Oh, do dwell, Chris Claremont, dwell!

John Carter circa 1977.

And you know what? That's great! The John Carter and The Incomparable Dejah Thoris actually resemble a couple with a working sexual attraction. Okay, it might be somewhat exaggerated in a pulp stylee but maybe if my muscles were three times as powerful as any other males I imagine I'd be a lot more popular too.

I really liked this book but I think I've made it clear that that that's primarily because of the presence of Gil Kane, a tendency for my own interests to run to the unsophisticated and an appreciation for healthy smut. If you do not share these pleasures you probably won't find this to be GOOD!

(Apparently Marvel have released the same comics in a colour over-sized Omnibus. They are probably even better in colour. Sighhhhhhh.)

Mars. The Incomparable Dejah Thoris. John Carter. ('Mars Action' about to occur) circa 1977.

Have a good weekend and remember to read some COMICS!!!

February 2012: The Month Where I Really Felt The Loss of John Candy

What follows is the second in a series of 12 posts, capturing the official Savage Critics rating for all of the comics that I read but couldn’t find the time (or space) to write about in a more “professional” capacity. The first one is here.

Hotel Harbour View Taniguchi Viz

Weird, wonderful stuff. I first heard about these stories via the Savage’s own Joe McCulloch. The big draw for today's reader is obviously going to be the chance to see Jiro Taniguchi drawing crime, but the curious will probably walk away just as impressed with the script, which is oddly sweet for such a bullet-laden plot. VERY GOOD!

Silence of Our Friends Long, Demonakos, Powell First Second

Hey, did you know this thing existed? Yeah, neither did anybody else. It’s a Nate Powell drawn graphic novel detailing some real life civil rights history in one of the two writer’s past. It’s pretty terrible, although Powell acquits himself well. There's probably an interesting story to be made out of what Mark Long’s family experienced, but it’s pretty clear that neither he nor his co-writer cared to try and find that story. Instead, you’ve got 200 pages detailing social back-and-forths between a white family and their black counterparts in 1968 Texas, most of which revolves around shining a spotlight on the audacious realization that people are often more complicated than pat racial stereotypes might lead one to believe. For example, sometimes a black man will slap his child out of anger. Other times a white man who is normally polite drinks too much. Sometimes the two of them behave in a way that seems racist to onlookers out of a fear of social reprisal. Will these two groups be able to come together over a shared mutual affection for Sam & Dave?

Things pick up later in the book when it depicts a protest gone wrong, but all of that interest evaporates as the book meanders its way through the most boring court trial comics has ever produced. A really cynical reader might think that the people involved in this comic’s production have so little imagination that they honestly believe that "boring" = "intelligent", but it seems more likely that there just wasn’t anything here to get excited by. That’s sort of First Second’s bag, if you’re keeping score--with very few exceptions (George O’Conner’s comics, Gipi, Blaine), they pretty much stick to rushing out middlebrow crap designed by committees, for a fabled "adult" audience that's perfectly content to stick with television. EH, because Powell certainly tries his best.

Fatale #2 Brubaker, Phillips Image

I like this issue. It’s more Ellroy-tinged set-up stuff, with an angry alcoholic (i’m assuming he is one, but I think the ground is safe) twisting lives into violent, confused contortions for the sake of a woman who they already know they’re gonna lose, and there’s a nasty cult thing going on in the background--this comic is sour, it feels irritated, like the actions depicted within the panels are a little pissed off that they’re on display. Brubaker’s best comics are the ones that have a freighted plot moving through them, something that crushes and mangles the lives of the people that populate them. (If you go back and read his Captain America run from the beginning, you’ll see that the absolute best parts are whenever Steve is depicted as being alone, scared, or exhausted. That character has unfortunately been taken over by the incessant need of Marvel, and it’s unlikely that their new publishing style will ever allow for somebody to do the kind of long-range work Brubaker got to do in those first 30-40 issues of Cap, but the current status quo doesn’t render those stories any significant damage.) Fatale: GOOD!

Chopper: Surf’s Up Wagner, Ennis, Artists 2000AD

Decent shit, Douglas has you covered on this one. There’s some fascinating panels in this collection that are worth excavating for examination, but this collection is mostly interesting for the way it drags a shitload of material (most of which is solid) out of a character that internalizes all of his feelings, choosing to express himself by action. He’s a skysurfer who lives with his eyes half-closed. OKAY!

Walt & Skeezix Volume 5 King D&Q

There’s no massive plot driving this collection the way the previous volumes were, and in fact, it reads a bit like a mild reworking of Frank King’s greatest hits--there’s the backdoor conniving regarding Skeezix’ inheritance (bringing with it Walt’s old fears of kidnapping, which means PUNCHING), a bit of romantic bungling with Lora that recalls those sleazeballs who used to pursue Phyllis, and then, of course, there’s a new baby and all the cutesy bits that bring with it. As is always the case with these collections, there’s some random bits of difficulty in tow--Phyllis is often depicted as disturbingly greedy as her past nemesis, Mme. Octave, and it's impossible not to squirm at Rachel. Still a great collection though, one of the best things Drawn & Quarterly publishes. There’s some extra stuff in here too--essays and a DVD--but most of that stuff seems like fetish objects for people who want all comics to be autobiographical. I’m sure it’s quite lovely, but I have a decent enough relationship with my father, and thus have no need to pretend that Frank King would have been a better one. EXCELLENT!

Athos In America Jason Fantagraphics

The “autobio” strip in here is my hands-down full-stop favorite thing Jason has ever done, earning this book the EXCELLENT rating for that reason alone. The rest of the book is totally satisfying, but I can’t pretend I didn’t read all of it with my brain obsessing over all the little beats in “A Cat From Heaven”. There isn’t a dead moment in the thing. “Hey, Fuckface”...so funny, this thing.

Prophet #22 Graham, Roy, Ballerman Image

Dug the first issue, loved the second. One of Graham’s greatest strength is that he’s actually read and watched different stuff, so when he’s resorting to inspiration, it isn’t the same crop of minimalist Wu-Tang covers or Wong-Kar Wai screengrabs as everybody else. In comics, it’s hard to ignore the fact that everybody wants everybody else to have the same line-up of idols as they do, which is why Graham is so interesting: he seems to have escaped all of that and forged a taste all his own. It’s unfortunate for Roy that he’s having to work under such a big shadow--he’s doing good work, and definitely getting better--but I’d imagine he sees this as too good an opportunity to pass up. Comics could use a lot more people like Brandon. We already know what it’s like to have a whole lot of people who aren’t. VERY GOOD!

Batman The Dark Knight #6 Finch, Jenkins DC

This one was pretty weird. It’s just Bane fighting Batman and Batman running away. They talk about Knightfall a bunch. There’s a really bad drawing of Superman. Remember when David Finch was supposed to be a big win for DC? There must have been a bunch of people at Marvel giggling when that announcement was made. This comic isn’t as bad as the Superman one that has a different creative team on every other page, but that doesn’t mean it's any good, either. AWFUL!

Ultimate Spider-Man #7 Bendis, Samnee Marvel

Well, that’s how you waste a date with Chris Samnee. If this guy has an agent, he should fire that person. I’d like to believe that his Daredevil stint is going to be special, and it probably will be...but c’mon, all Marvel does is bean this guy every time he gets up to the plate. AWFUL!

The Flash #6 Manapul DC

Very pretty comic book here. The inclusion of Barry Allen saying things like “girlfriend” and “is that okay” and “I have feelings” will certainly appeal to a type of personality (unfortunately, I very much doubt that type of personality would find much else in super-hero comics worth their time), and I’d overall call this one OKAY! I can’t make myself read this title, but I hope somebody can. Super pretty.

Judge Dredd Complete Case Files 13 Misc Dredd Folks 2000AD

Solid collection of stuff here, if I had notes to refer to, I would do so now. The biggest stand out in my mind is the introduction of Giant, who will become a big part of Necropolis (which is in the 14th Case File), but there’s a whole crop of solid short bits in here. Reading these, I can’t help but wonder what kind of world Wagner would have created if he’d stuck around the Batman franchise. Grant did fine without him, but...that could have been something. Oh well. GOOD!

The Dead Man Ridgway, Wagner 2000AD

Great stuff here, here’s another Douglas Wolk write-up for those who like detail. I wish I could have read this as it was happening without having to live in Britain whenever that was. But even if you the big reveal in advance, it’s still a pretty satisfying read. Call it GOOD!

Voyages Volume 1 Toth, Chaykin, Geary, Vess, Russell, Muth, Robbins, Dowling Nautilus Dreams

There’s a great Alex Toth story in this, a Bravo For Adventure story that I’d never read and which is, contrary to what I’ve always heard, solidly written. It gets really abstract near the end in this really ballsy way, with these grids of jagged lines tracing the movement of excited protagonists. It ends up being so good that it (unfortunately) overshadows everything else you read. That being said, the only things in here that are anywhere near Toth’s level are Rick Geary’s murder standard and a nasty color insert by Howard Chaykin about a guy on his way to serial killing. Everything else is trash. For the Toth alone (which is the longest thing here), call this one VERY GOOD!

The Broken Ear Herge Little, Brown

I find it very easy to get wrapped up in how these comics look, chasing Herge’s lines around to see where they begin and end. I kept forgetting to read the dialog, I just liked watching things move around. I'm mostly interested in reading these Tintin stories to see how they relate to Swarte and Chaland, but I'm also always curious about things that are amazingly popular. I don't know that I learned much here. It’s fun to watch Tintin get wasted with the guy who is supposed to kill him, or to see the general get his feelings hurt when he thinks he’s been betrayed. The actual goal of this one--the location of a stolen curio--seems to get away from Herge a bit eventually, but I can’t say that I really care, or that I think he should have done it differently so that hadn’t happened. It’s just a lot more fun to watch the kid fuck around and do shit than would have been to be all serious about the treasure hunt aspect. VERY GOOD!

Is That All There Is Swarte Fantagraphics

Everything I feel comfortable saying about this book right now already came stumbling out on this Inkstuds podcast I did with Jog, Seneca and the Studster, but it deserves some kind of Savage rating. How about EXCELLENT? There’s stuff in here that I wish was bigger in size, but...so what? I hope every single person who complains about the size of this book gets buried in shit after being murdered by their family, and I hope they get murdered with Lou Gehrig’s disease. If they're a cartoonist, I hope it happens to them twice.

The Blobby Boys Schubert Zine Police

A short, very funny comic featuring what acts like a regular cast of oddly colored humanoid creatures acting like assholes in urban environments. Blobby Boys was oversold to me as someone’s favorite comic at the Brooklyn Comics and Graphics Festival, so the initial read through was a bit like a confused treasure hunt. Reading it again, I just see it as an extremely funny comic with unusually vivid art. That’s not a bad thing at all. VERY GOOD.

Comics Class Forsythe Koyama

Pseudo autobiographical comic (“mostly untrue”, according to the back cover) about a comics class for 11 year old children, taught by the author. It’s very funny at times, other times it’s trying too hard, but the scale mostly ends up in Forsythe’s favor. The art is pleasant, chunky stuff, there’s just not a whole lot that’s very visually exciting about a guy standing in front of kids, talking. Does anyone talk about the cinematography in Stand and Deliver? Lean On Me? Dangerous Minds? I rest my case, my case is rested. I’d still call this one GOOD.

Night Business #4 Marra Traditional Comics

I love this comic, love all the comics this guy makes. I also have a lot of affection for the movie Cobra and the sex act, so I was pretty much swimming in clover the whole time I read this, because it has all of those things put together all at once. VERY GOOD.

Now that I think about it, it kind of disgusts me that there's comics bloggers out there who sit around reviewing Marra's work all willy-nilly, without having experienced the movie Cobra.

White Whore Funnies #1 Misc Ful-Horne

This is a group of black cartoonists making fun of racist stereotypes. Some of it is very extreme and funny, like the symbol of a black power fist punching its way into a Venus symbol while the text screams “LET US ENTERTAIN YOU”. Some of it is just disconcerting and obnoxious. The art is mostly terrible, with most of the cartoonists delivering weirdly prudish takes on naked women. I’d be disappointed, but I’m convinced the primary point of this project was to entertain the guys who created it. It’s AWFUL otherwise.

Lone Wolf and Cub #26, 28, 29, 30, 31, 34, 35 Kojima, Koike First Comics

I’ve read all of these stories before, but I’d only read about half of the First Comics editions. Not all of Goseki Kojima’s work is “better” in the standard American comic size--some of it just looks unfinished and schizoid--but so much of it is that it still stings that First went out of business before they could finish printing these glorious comics. There’s translation screw-ups, printing errors, ordering mishaps; if you’re an obsessive type, yes, there’s much to be irritated by! But there’s also perfect comics here; a story that grapples and explodes, visual moments of perfection--violence and silence both--and it would have taken serious, nefarious dedication to destroy that. Lone Wolf and Cub is EXCELLENT, and anyone who says different is a huge, huge racist.

Time Twisters #2 Moore, Morrison, Gibbons, Ridgway, Milligan Quality

This is basically the Alan Moore issue, and while the reproduction value still lingers somewhere between “absolute shit” and “also shitty”, the old wizard shines through with a couple of smart Future Shocks. Milligan rips off the Thing--it doesn’t really work--and Morrison rips off Ray Bradbury, which works fine. This is the best issue of this comic I’ve read, in heroic spite of the people who so horribly printed it. GOOD!

------------

How anticlimactic. I should really come up with a conclusion for these. The only thing that comes to mind right now is AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS HUNTA VIRUS, and that's just a meaningless string of words. I'm not even sure that's how you spell Hunta virus. I spent most of the month of February obsessively singing the song "i want to fuck my own father" to my coworkers and wife, but that doesn't conclude anything either. I give these last few sentences the rating of EXCELLENT.

"Clod. I Have WEAPONS..." Comics! Sometimes They Are Almost Fresh!

It's a post about comics! Is it early? Is it late? Time is in flux!Only if one man can face his Pull List can The Balance be restored!

One Man. One Pull List. There will be Words... (...probably the wrong ones).

ACTION COMICS #6 “When Superman Learned To Fly” by By Andy Kubert/John Dell(a), Grant Morrison(w), Brad Anderson(c) and Patrick Brosseau(l) and “Last Day” by Chriscross(a), Sholly Fish(w), Jose Vallarubia(c) and Carlos M. Mangual(l) (DC Comics, $3.99) Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster.

 I like that stuff in my comics but I'm not unaware that in real life that kind of thinking gets you killed.

While there could be said to be many faults with the lead story in this issue such as an apparent attempt to distract from a lack of clarity (or indeed even sense) with a belligerently unslackening pace and art that once again belies Andy Kubert's alleged superstar status it remains a fact that in this story Superman's enemies conduct an auction for Kryptonite within Superman's own brain (physically, literally within Superman's own brain) and Superman uses his own Kryptonite poisoned body as a battery to save his both his own sentient ship and the day entire. Yes, Superman's enemies conduct an auction for Kryptonite within Superman's own brain (physically, literally within Superman's own brain) and Superman uses his own Kryptonite poisoned body as a battery to save his both his own sentient ship and the day entire. That's Superman comics enough for me!

The backup is the kind of sweet and tender emotional snapshot of a transitional moment in life that anyone under forty will treat as though it were sentient dog-muck hellbent on French kissing them; that's okay because I enjoyed it enough for y'all! Yup, ACTION COMICS was GOOD!

 STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST!

ALL-STAR WESTERN #6 “Beneath The Bat-Cave” by Moritat(a), Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti(w), Gabriel Bautista(c) and Rob Leigh(l) and “The Barbary Ghost Part 3” by Phil Winslade(a), Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti(w), Dominic Regan(c) and Rob Leigh(l) (DC Comics, $3.99) Jonah Hex created by John Albano and Tony Dezuniga. The Barbary Ghost created by Gray, Palmiotti and Winslade

Kids! How many owls can you spot!

Thank the Great Spirit! Next issue ol' bacon face is off to N'Orleans! where there will no doubt be "gumbo" galore but at least there won't be anymore shoehorning of Batman references into a book that doesn't need them. A cave beneath Wayne Manor! Filled with Bats! This cretinous continuity reached a kind of hilarious nadir with the sudden slew of references to Owls: because Batman is currently encountering stress of a strigiform stripe by all accounts in the here and now! So we get about two pages in which the characters can barely move around the mansion setting for all the owls dangling, roosting, flopping and just plain flailing around the place. It's as though Moritat has snapped and gone "You want owls? Here! Here are your owls! Got enough owls yet? I don't think so! Owls! Here! Now! In your face! All! Owls! Touch them! Touch my owls! Tell me they're pretty! Owls!" and then gone for a long lie down. Stupid owls. Anyway I'm a little bit partial to Jonah so it was still OKAY!

 STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST!

ANIMAL MAN #6 “Tights” by Jean Paul Leon & Travel Foreman/Jeff Huett(a), Jeff Lemire(w), Lovern Kindzierski(c) and Jared K. Fletcher(l) (DC Comics,$2.99) Animal Man created by Dave Wood and Carmine Infantino

Movie Cliche #23415678: Sad Dad at fridge with beer and photo of son. Collect the set!

Tricky one this. Has Jeff Lemire done a pitch-perfect satire of the vapid screenwriting cliches that have run roughshod over comics beautiful storytelling devices or does he actually believe this is a decent film script made comics? It's hard to tell isn't it. Heck, I don't know maybe you thought it was awesome? Luckily it's easy to tell that Jean Paul Leon is an awesome artist and hopefully one day he will draw comics as awesome as WINTER MEN again. This issue is a complete waste of time and is clearly a fill-in so next issue we should be back to Travel Foreman and his nightmarish body horror.

After I read the previous issue I fell into a light doze and dreamt about a man in a chair. I was holding the man in the chair via the power of some unknown threat. The man was crying and peeling his own skin off his own face with a small knife. I was then forcing him to eat it via the unspoken promise that if he did as I asked he could go free. The fact that the man was eating his own face was terrible but the worst thing was that we both knew I was lying and he wasn't leaving alive. But he had no choice but to do as I asked because that was his only hope. Yes, it's been a trying few months. They say there's nothing as boring as listening to someone else's dreams but they forgot about reading film scripts masquerading as comics which is so boring such comics are EH!

STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST (BUT WATCH IT)!

BATWOMAN#6 “To Drown The World - Part One” by Amy Reeder/Rob Hunter/Richard Friend(a) J.H. Williams III & W. Haden Blackman(w), Guy Major(c) and Todd Klein(l) (DC Comics,$2.99) Batwoman created by Bob Kane and Sheldon Moldoff (modern version by Greg Rucka and Alex Ross).

"Given the state of your medical insurance talking's about all you can afford so knock yourself out is my advice."

Wuh-hoof! That's certainly a change in artist alright. I'll stick it out for a bit because I always like people to get a fair shake of the critic stick. Initially I'm not  finding myself a fan of Reeder's thin line but I appreciate her attempts to step up her layouts. Given the writing is competent at best (actually that's a compliment in today's world o'comics) Reeder's got it all on her to raise this one up from EH!

STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST (FOR NOW!)

DAREDEVIL #9 By Paolo Rivera/Joe Rivera(a), Mark Waid(w), Javier Rodriguez(c) and VC’s Joe Caramagna(c) (Marvel Comics, $2.99) Daredevil created by Bill Everett and Stan Lee.

Storytelling in 'Not Dead' shock!

Unless Howard Victor Chaykin has been reactivated without my knowledge I guess this is the only Marvel comic I'm buying. That doesn't seem right, I'll have to check. Anyway, I'm buying this because Mark Waid understands that the bit with the boot is funnier and cleverer because it only takes up one panel. It's because Rivera Jnr and Snr make all kinds of spooky magic happen on these pages. It's because together the team on the book achieve the kind of synergy that results in the storytelling stuff from which the above image is but a sample. Yup, DAREDEVIL is a purchase because it is VERY GOOD!

(Hey, I hear Chris Samnee is coming aboard! I told you all I'd wait for him!)

STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST!

DEMON KNIGHTS #6 “The Balance” by Diogenes Neves & Robson Rocha with Oclair Albert(a), Paul Cornell(w), Marcelo Maiolo(c) and Jared K. Fletcher(l)(DC Comics, $2.99) The Demon created by Jack Kirby. Shining Knight originally created by Creig Flessel (modern incarnation created by Simone Bianchi and Grant Morrison). Vandal Savage created by Alfred Bester and Martin Nodell. Madame Xanadu created by Michael William Kaluta.

His reply is actually quite funny but I'm still baling.

Nah. I'm done. It just didn't work for me. Which is a shame as it wasn't terrible as such it just never gelled. Way too diffuse and lacking in focus both from a scripting and art standpoint. I mean, how big was this village, where was everything in relation to everything else? But like I say it wasn't terrible and I wish all involved well and hope the book works out further down the line but there are plenty of books I can read that aren't EH! And that's where my money's got to go. It's the Law of The Direct Market; savage and unrestrained!

STATUS: OFF THE LIST!

FATALE Number Two By Ed Brubaker, Sean Phillips and Dave Stewart (Image Comics, $3.50) Fatale created by Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips.

 ...probably because for some odd reason she's drawn to look about 8 years old and acts as subtly as a silent movie siren?

People tend to refer to books by this team as "Brubaker" books don't they? Which is odd as I find Brubaker to be the least of the appeal they hold. I guess it's that whole Cult of The Writer thing or something. Hey now, hang on, I'm not saying Brubaker isn't good. He's got craft/technique/skill/whatever we're calling it now in spades it's just the result is, for me, mostly solid rather than inspired. Except when he gets Meta which is when the wheels start wobbling like they're about to pitch a fit (remember INCOGNITO where working in an office was "like" doing Indie comics but taking to the streets and letting your inner nature run wild was "like" working in the mainstream? Really? Um.). On the whole though I get well crafted genre staples served up with a slight twist but the real pleasure I get from this team's comics is in the form of Phillips and Stewart in conjunction with Brubaker. I'm not going to just roll around showing my belly because it hasn't got capes'n'tights in it, okay?

Here, I guess the High Concept (sigh) is Crime and Horror - together! Like Hope and Cosby! Like Morecambe and Wise! Which is fine because,hey, I like both. I'm not sure they belong smushed together though except as one of those novelty type deals. Y'know, all those Steve Niles things Steve Niles does. I guess Crime fiction tells us about the worst in ourselves and so does Horror fiction; they just use different tools. Using both sets just seems like doubling up and risking the results seeming lesser. Early days though, I mean, look at what porting Horror tropes into Crime did for James Ellroy ($$$$ is what it did, kids. Woof! Woof!). I don't think we're looking at an Ellroy here but we may be looking at an Angel Heart. And that's fine. I got a thing about chickens, Mr. Cyphre; as in I don't like to count them too soon but this one looks GOOD! so far.

STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST!

FRANKENSTEIN: AGENT of S.H.A.D.E. #6 “The Siege of S.H.A.D.E. City – Part One” by Alberto Ponticelli(a), Jeff Lemire(w), Jose Villarrubia(c) and Travis Lanham(l) (DC Comics, $2.99) Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E created by Doug Mahnke and Grant Morrison (and Mary Shelley).

I am always happy to see the word "buffoons"!

There's a bit in this issue that is pretty much a stealth WATCHMEN (by Alan Moore, Dave Gibbons and John Higgins) reference. It's the scene in the 'Nam bar between The Comedian and Doc Manhattan but here with Franky and a red, bald dude who is, basically, Dr. Manhattan and without any pregnant woman shooting or face glassing. That is to say without any of the actual important or troubling content. I'd call that an Omen were I of a credulous nature. Otherwise it's yet another issue of Hellboy in the DCU and which is Okefenokee by me!

STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST!

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK#4 and #5 “In The Dark - Part Four and Finale” by Mikel Janin(a), Peter Milligan(w), Ulises Arreola(c) and Rob Leigh(l) (DC Comics, $2.99ea) John Constantine created by Alan Moore, John Totleben, Rick Veitch and Steve Bissette. Madame Xanadu created by Michael William Kaluta. Deadman created by Arnold Drake and Carmine Infantino. Shade, The Changing Man created by Steve Ditko. Zatanna created by Gardner Fox and Murphy Anderson. Enchantress created by Bob Haney and Howard Purcell. Dove created by Steve Ditko. Mindwarp created by Peter Milligan.

Stealth WATCHMEN reference#2. We get it, DC! You WIN!

I haven't enjoyed this. It's all been a bit like warmed-over '90s Milligan with stuff like "In Nebraska The Pokemon come alive and the screams of the bread-cakes dance like glass-kneed OAPs." Okay, not as warmed-over '90s Milligan as that DEFENDERS#1 preview perhaps but still not terribly inspired. I mean the sheer scale of events would suggest the body count is in the hundreds of thousands not to mention the country-wide trauma involved but there's no sense of any consequences.

No, I didn't like it. I did, however, enjoy Milligan's skeevy interpretation of Deadman. I would totally read a Peter Milligan Deadman series in which Deadman acted like one of those fantastic men who pressure their missus into all kinds of sexual situations that the missus clearly isn't all that into and it's all just about the guy exerting power over her so that's she's eventually roiling around in moral squalor with only the "fact" that he loves her to keep her sane. At which point the hilarious rogue tells her she's a sl*t and leaves her to fall to pieces while he starts the whole cycle with some other vulnerable woman. I think a comic like that would bring in new readers. Sh*theads mostly, but hey, sales are down! We can't afford to be be proud anymore! Despite creepy Deadman JLA: DARK was EH!

STATUS: DROPPED!

O.M.A.C. #5 and #6 “Occasionally Monsters Accidentally Crossover” By Keith Giffen/Scott Koblish(a), Dan Didio, Jeff lemire & Keith Giffen(w), Hi-Fi(c) and Travis Lanham(l) “One More Amorous Conflict” By Scott Kolins/Scott Koblish(a), Dan Didio & Keith Giffen(w), Hi-Fi(c) and Travis Lanham(l) (DC Comics, $2.99ea) O.M.A.C. created by Jack Kirby.

It's the hot dog that makes it great!

In #5 O.M.A.C. and Frankenstein Agent of S.H.A.D.E have a great big slobberknocker which entertains and amuses me on a base level which I have no shame in gratifying since I am okay with comics just being goofy, colourful fun. With #6 I realise that the main reason I like O.M.A.C is because of Keith Giffen's art because with #6 the artwork is by Scott Kolins and the only memorable thing about the issue is the fact that Leilani's breasts are pancaked in the same manner that Caroline Munro's were in The Golden Voyage of Sinbad. Yes, I realise that reflects badly on me as a human being but, honestly, what reflects badly on us as a society is the fact that we have fallen so low so fast that when you read The Golden Voyage of Sinbad you automatically assumed I was talking about a p*rn film rather than a children's fantasy film from the '7os.  So, um, anyway O.M.A.C was GOOD!

STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST!

PUNISHERMAX#22 “War’s End” By Steve Dillon(a), Jason Aaron(w), Matt Hollingsworth(c) and VC’s Cory Pettit(l) (MAX/Marvel Comics, $3.99) The Punisher created by Gerry Conway, Ross Andru and John Romita Snr.

"Now that we've solved the Energy Crisis! Who's up for a brewski!"

PUNISHERMAX#22 may just be the most subversive comic I read this year. Oh, not because of the ending because...really, Jason Aaron? Really? That's your ending? We can solve all societies problems by just rising up and killing the sh*t out of other folks? Really? Heck, maybe we just need a strong leader as well? Fancy your chances do you, Jason Aaron? What a crappy ending. Mind you, I live in a country where we only arm The Police, The Army and farmers. What? No, I don't know why we arm farmers, maybe because of all the lions? Or maybe they keep being carried off by subsidies in the night. Stop getting distracted by details. So, okay, maybe that ending is a bit more reasonable over there in The Americas. If it is, I will pray for you all. Christ, that irresponsible ending.

No, PUNISHERMAX #22 may just be the most subversive comic I have read all year because of the scene involving Elektra. Elektra is at the Hand headquarters after a savage battle with Frank. Elektra has served The Hand well for many years but now Elektra needs help from The Hand. Specifically medical help. But I guess The Hand doesn't have Health Insurance for its employees and since Elektra is no longer of any use to them they have no qualms in cutting her loose in the most final of ways. Despite knowing full well the conditions of her employment Elektra is still surprised and dismayed at this turn of events. But she should have expected it, really, because that's what you get for working for Marv..I mean The Hand. Say, is something bothering you, Jason Aaron? Stuff on your mind?

Oh, PUNISHERMAX was entertaining enough and the fact that I could never reconcile the interesting parts with the witless parts of it actually made it more interesting and brought the whole thing up to GOOD!

STATUS: Cancelled or Came To A Natural End When The Author Had Told The One Frank Castle Story He Felt He Was Born To Write. (Oh, yeah!)

RASL #13 By Jeff Smith (a/w/l) (Cartoon Books, $3.50) RASL created by Jeff Smith.

There's a couple of reasons I really like RASL. There used to be pretty much just one reason; that although none of the individual elements actually seemed unique in and of themselves they were combined in such a way as to present a story notable for its novelty and also the freshness of its presentation. There are many scenes in RASL which you have seen in other stories but this is not a problem with RASL because it isn't really a problem at all unless it is a problem with all stories. It is a problem with some stories because they will just go for the default setting of said scene; the one that's floating closest to the surface of the popular imagination due to repetition and exposure via Hollywood blockbusters for example.

Look at the Avengers Vs. X-Men preview and ask yourself whether the life sappingly tedious familiarity of every scene is intentional and while you have your own attention ask also how many pages until The President says "And may God have Mercy on us all." It's all about familiarity, oh yes, I am aware it's all pitifully legitimised by claims of "homage" but that's cockrot, it's all about familiarity; giving people what they already know they like. Of course eventually familiarity forgets to put its rubber on and breeds something; contempt. Not in the case of RASL though. RASL keeps me on my toes, RASL demands something from me - attention. In return it rewards me with quality entertainment. That seems fair enough to me.

The other, more recent, reason for liking RASL is that unless Jeff Smith has some kind of catastrophic breakdown involving his identity he won't be suing himself anytime soon. Yup, RASL is VERY GOOD!

STATUS: REMAINS ON THE LIST!

STATIC SHOCK #5 and #6 “True Natures” and “Unrepentant” by Scott McDaniel/Andy Owens(a), Scott McDaniel(w), Travis Lanham & Dezi Sienty(l) and Guy Major(c) (DC Comics, $2.99ea) Static created by Dwayne McDuffie and Jean Paul Leon.

 A DC writer on The Internet: Yesterday.

Well, that was certainly a stinker of a thing. I have no problem with Scott McDaniel's art by the way. Sometimes it lacks clarity but I respond well to the boldness of his line and the chunkiness of his figures. I find it quite pleasing on the whole. His writing has, however, been less than stellar. It's hard to know what to say about this disaster really except if you employ someone to write - let them write and let the artist take care of the pictures. It isn't like there's no room for synergy; the two can be responsible for both of those separate aspects but combine them when it comes to the storytelling. It's a collaborative medium, so I've heard. A mess like this just makes me sad. I'm not very savage at all because it dismays me to say STATIC SHOCK was AWFUL!

STATUS: DROPPED!

SWAMP THING#6 “The Black Queen” by Marco Rudy(a), Scott Snyder(w), Val Staples & lee Loughridge(c) and Travis Lanham(l) (DC Comics, $2.99) Swamp Thing created by Len Wein and Berni Wrightson.

This is horrible in all the wrong ways. It's nice having little shout outs to Dick Durock and Len Wein and my Nana Alice and all but, hey, where's the...well, where's anything? Splash page after splash page of nigh-contextless horror does not a narrative make. Seriously, I need to know what's going on on those pages if it's going to freak me out. Marco Rudy's art works hard to evoke the scabby nastiness of the Bissette, Veitch, Totleben years but what is going on? Something to do with rot, something to do with flesh. I'm sympathetic to the notion that specificity kills horror dead on the page but y'know I need some clue or it's just...stuff. And stuff isn't specific enough to be scary. And... The Parliament of Trees? Apparently you just walk up to them with a box of matches and, hey, game over Parliament of Trees. That's...stupid. Worst of all this turns out have just been one of those crappy origins that take six issues. Sure they could wrong foot us at the last and Abby could adopt the mantle but...it still took six issues. Six not very good issues. So yeah, SWAMP THING is EH! Moley, I just checked and it's six issues and counting to the origin, that doesn't help at all.

STATUS: DROPPED!

T.H.U.N.D.E.R. AGENTS #3 “A Godawful Small Affair” by Wes Craig & Walter Simonson/Bob Wiacek(a), Nick Spencer(w), Hi Fi & Lee Loughridge(c) and Jared K. Fletcher (l) (DC Comics, $2.99) T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents created by Wallace (“Woody” not “Wally”) Wood and Len Brown.

'Nuff Said!

STATUS: STICKING IT OUT FOR THE LAST THREE ISSUES!

So yeah, hope that was okay. If you disagree with any of it that's fine just let me know and we can throw it around like a pack of terriers with a rat. If you thought it was all totally spot-on then, Hi, Mom! Whatever happens those were my comics and that's what I thought.

Have a good week and remember to read some COMICS!

Wait, What? Ep. 77: The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking

(Illustration from Chapter 166 of Bakuman. Remember it's a right-to-left world out there.)

Remember how The Uncanny X-Men would, like, get psychically mind-raped by The Hellfire Club, or shot full of Brood babies and be torn apart from the inside, or bound and gagged to the inside of Magneto's rumpus room, and then afterward there'd be an issue of them playing baseball and walking around the recently rebuilt (since it had also been recently destroyed) mansion of Professor X?

This episode is a little bit like that, I guess, with Graeme and I recovering from answering (almost) everyone's questions and having ourselves quite the crazy time of it on the Internet.  So Episode 77 is two hours of amiable chitchat from your friends on the Wait, What? team talking Graeme's library picks, Spider-Island, the high initial ordering numbers of Avengers Vs. X-Men, our ignorance of current MTV reality shows, He Who Cannot Be Named, the pros and cons of going to the comic shop, The Hunger Games, Earth 2, Dr. Who, Tintin, and that one movie with Christian Bale and the gun-fu, as well as the One Piece Meets Toriko (which I brain-deadedly call "Tobiko" throughout) one-shot available from Shonen Jump Alpha.   (Which I almost ganked a picture from instead.)

Four out of five dentists who recommend choosy mothers choose iTunes, but Episode 77 is here, coiled and cautious, if you dare plunge your fists again and again into its evil, undying heart:

Wait, What? Ep. 77.1: The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking

As always, we hope you enjoy and thanks for listening!

Arriving 3/7/12

Another small-in-quantity, rich-in-content week!

2000 AD #1766 30 DAYS OF NIGHT ONGOING #5 ACTION COMICS #7 AGE OF APOCALYPSE #1 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #681 ANIMAL MAN #7 AVENGERS ACADEMY #27 AVENGERS CHILDRENS CRUSADE #9 (OF 9) BATWING #7 BETTIE PAGE IN DANGER #2 BETTY & VERONICA DOUBLE DIGEST #199 BEYOND THE FRINGE #1 BOYS #64 DC UNIVERSE ONLINE LEGENDS #25 DEAD OR ALIVE #2 (OF 4) DEFENDERS #4 DETECTIVE COMICS #7 DICKS COLOR ED #2 FAIREST #1 FATALE #3 FEAR ITSELF FEARLESS #10 (OF 12) FERALS #3 GARTH ENNIS JENNIFER BLOOD #10 GREEN ARROW #7 HAWK AND DOVE #7 HELL YEAH #1 HULK #49 HUNTRESS #6 (OF 6) INFESTATION 2 TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #1 (OF 2) IRREDEEMABLE #35 IZOMBIE #23 JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #7 KIRBY GENESIS CAPTAIN VICTORY #4 LADY DEATH (ONGOING) #15 MANHATTAN PROJECTS #1 MARVELS AVENGERS PRELUDE FURYS BIG WEEK #1 (OF 4) MEN OF WAR #7 MICE TEMPLAR VOL 3 #8 MICHAEL AVON OEMING CVR NEXT MEN AFTERMATH #41 NIGHT FORCE #1 (OF 6) OMAC #7 RACHEL RISING #6 RED LANTERNS #7 ROBERT JORDAN WHEEL OF TIME EYE O/T WORLD #22 SCOOBY DOO WHERE ARE YOU #19 SPAWN #217 STAR WARS CRIMSON EMPIRE III EMPIRE LOST #5 (OF 6) STATIC SHOCK #7 STITCHED #3 STORMWATCH #7 SUPERNATURAL #6 (OF 6) SUPURBIA #1 (OF 4) SWAMP THING #7 SWEET TOOTH #31 THE LONE RANGER #3 THOR DEVIANTS SAGA #5 (OF 5) TOY STORY #1 (OF 4) ULTIMATE COMICS SPIDER-MAN #8 UNCANNY X-MEN #8 VALEN OUTCAST #4 MAIN CVRS VENOM #14 VILLAINS FOR HIRE #4 (OF 4) WINTER SOLDIER #3 WOLVERINE #302 WOLVERINE AND X-MEN ALPHA AND OMEGA #3 (OF 5) X-CLUB #4 (OF 5) X-MEN #26

Books / Mags / Stuff 68 TP VOL 01 BETTER RUN THROUGH THE JUNGLE AVENGERS 1959 TP AVENGERS KORVAC SAGA TP NEW PTG BATMAN BIRTH OF THE DEMON TP BOYS TP VOL 10 BUTCHER BAKER CANDLESTICKMAKER COMPLEAT TERMINAL CITY TP EMITOWN TP VOL 02 FEAR ITSELF AVENGERS ACADEMY PREM HC FEAR ITSELF INVINCIBLE IRON MAN PREM HC FLASHPOINT TP GHOSTBUSTERS ONGOING TP VOL 01 GOTHAM CITY SIRENS TP VOL 04 DIVISION HELLBOY TP VOL 12 THE STORM AND THE FURY KING CITY TP NARUTO TP VOL 55 SPARKO GN STAR WARS CLONE WARS YR TP VOL 07 ENEMY WITHIN

What looks good to YOU?

-B

"Breathe DEEPLY, Kane." Comics! Sometimes There Is An Interruption!

Hello, everyone! Just a short note to say that there will be no posting about comics from an old man with a shaky grasp on quality. Alas, illness comes to us all and I am probably just being a big ninny but I am certainly faring better than my namesake below:

Filched image  featuring art and words from Walter Simonson and Archie Goodwin's ALIEN: THE ILLUSTRATED STORY. Which is VERY GOOD! by the way.

Next Time:  More talking about COMICS! Have a good weekend, all!

JOHN CARTER? It's terrific!

I thought the trailers were all incredibly blah, but I thought "Well, it's the director of FINDING NEMO and WALL-E, so it's probably got to have something going for it.", so when the envelope arrived with the free movie tickets, I thought, "OK, for once, I'll go stand in line for one of these" (Though, god, am I schmuck or what? I shoulda just put the call in, and I totally could have reserved seats to a press screener...)

Also? Took Ben with me -- and he loved it too.

Here's the first thing I'll say? The "Host" of the screener was KOFY TV. They're an independent local station. And when I say "independent", I don't mean "The WB" or something -- seriously, go look at their web site... they host a dance party on air, for god's sake! Actually, I think they're great because how many markets truly have a indy TV station like this any longer? But, from Disney's POV, it's the promotional partner you go to when you're trying to help the movie, but you expect it's just going to die.

The second thing? The theater was like half-empty. Damn, I didn't even need to stand in line, I guess... (oh well, an hour with my boy is an hour with my boy!) -- but clearly, the movie is in trouble, if they can't even get people to see it for FREE.

I'm not sure if I've ever actually read the ERB original (most everything "I remembered", but was it from the prose, or from like an adaptation or pastiche or homage, since there have been so many? If it was the prose, it was when I was maybe 12 or something? I know I didn't read them all), but there is a surprisingly deep world and backstory going on here with three different factions in battle, and another pulling various strings. There's culture and language and all kinds of crazy-ass world-building going on, and yet it's very open and very accessible, and very... mm, what's the right word? "Vital", maybe? I actually began to care about the cultures and the CGI characters inhabiting them, in a way that I very much don't usually get in Science Fiction.

The action is big and grand, the characters vivid, and the world engrossing; it's got a nice light touch for humor as well -- pretty much everything you want from a big Science Fiction movie... and if AVATAR made 2 gajillion dollars, there's no reason this shouldn't make at least a zillion.

I have problems with the movie (when do I not have problems with things?): It is a bit long, and I think that's almost all from the ERB-related wrap-around story that, while charming (IF you already knew that "Ned" was Edgar Rice Burroughs, which I kind of think less than half of the audience understood), it didn't add much to the tale itself. I also thought the flashbacks to pre-War JC didn't fit in the jump-cut way and when they were inserted, but that's small concern.

We saw a 3-D showing, but I didn't think it added anything -- I'd not hesitate to see it in regular old 2-D. In fact, there were maybe 2-3 places where I thought the 3-D made the CGI look really fakey. At least I assume it was the 3-D?

The lead, Taylor Kitsch, was actually quite good, but his look is a little "pretty boy" for me. Dejah Thoris was played by Lynn Collins, and she played both "hot" and "lethal" and "smart" equally well. Dejah kicked ass, and I think would be a good "role model" for girls, for those of you who care about such things.

I took Ben (who is 8 and in third grade), and it's probably a smidge more violent then I should have let him see, BUT virtually all of the blood is blue, so I was ... well, not "OK", but less than "annoyed" about the spurting blood. There wasn't any language stronger than "god damn", that I remembered. His favorite scene was the White Ape fight, and especially the end when JC comes bursting through the monster, sword in hand, which, had it been red, would have been gory and gross, but in blue was actually pretty funny.

The media has it marked as DOA, and the turnout at the theater would seem to indicate the audience doesn't know it wants to see it -- the marketing has been atrocious (and the end credits say that the name of the film is "John Carter of Mars", BTW), and while I don't know that I necessarily have any interest in making Disney profitable, this might really be one of those places where we need a Nerdtervention -- I strongly think you should see it because it's far far better than the trailers would seem to indicate.

Ben gave it a 9 (but, to be fair, he gives anything with a high enough wonder-factor a 9), and I'm quite happy to report that I thought it was VERY GOOD, and you definitely should go give it a see in a movie theater.

I'd ask "what did YOU think"? But it's still like a week from release, sorry.

-B

SUPER SECRET LEAP YEAR DAY SALE!

20% off anything at Comix Experience that isn't on the New Comics rack. Because it is also Superman's Birthday, you must say "Mxyzptlk" in order to get the discount! We nearly never have sales, so this is something a little special and very rare. HAPPY SUPERMAN'S BIRTHDAY!!!

-B

ONOMATOPOEIA #194 now on line

Until March 6th, you can grab the (FULL COLOR!) CE:O #194 (for May '12 books) by following this link. You can also get the associated sub form by hitting this link.

This is really a bunch of extra work, so I really need to know if any CE customers are finding this helpful....

-B

An aside for Steve Wacker

While I was writing my last post, I had missed some of the talkback in David Brother's original post, including Very Special Guest Steve Wacker from Marvel. David's second post addresses most everything, but I want to drill down to one statement that Steve made which I think is germane here:

"We’ll keep making comics and the sales will tell us whether or not people like ‘em. That’s the foundation we’re built on."

That's a very fair point, and the one that I really want to get across as well -- for in January 2012, Marvel's single best-selling comic (UNCANNY #5) sold (according to ICv2) a mere 63,477 copies.

Of course it's more than that, as Diamond's reports under-report by some amount (at LEAST missing the sales in the UK), and probably there's a little bit of movement over in the digital world, etc. - but those are truly and fundamentally depressing numbers.

When the FIFTH issue of AQUAMAN (Aquaman, fer cryin' out loud!) out sells every single Marvel comic, then there's something rotten in the state of Denmark.

I desperately want and need a strong and competitive Marvel comics, but nearly every recent strategy they've employed has had the opposite impact that they were trying for.

I'm of the opinion that not one of Marvel's "Prime Franchises" should ever have an issue that's below, say, 50k -- and those should be the third spin-off titles, the main books should be WELL over 100k, because there are MORE THAN ENOUGH people in the market to support those sales. AMAZING SPIDEY is easily as good of a book as it has ever been... so why is it selling at what would have been almost Cancellation level when I started in this business?

I'm fairly certain the reason is tied to the twice-monthly shipping, and $4 cover price, steps that, again, were completely and totally self-decided.

I'm with Steve -- Sales totals are, really, all that matter; so look at those charts and see that the audience IS speaking, and they are saying "Stop, please."

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 76: Dares, Wins

And Lo, There Shall Come...An Answering!

For most of you, anyway.  I fully confess Graeme and I did punt on a few questions that were either complex enough to take up a full podcast at a later date, or so good that it would require better men than us to answer it.  (Ah, yes: the old "It's not  you, Listener Question, it's us" strategy--never leave home without it.)

Anyway, as you might imagine with so many exceptional inquiries, it would take us a while to answer them--and of course us being us, we're going to go egregiously off-topic, right?--so, yeah.  Two hours and forty minutes is what we've got for you. We talk so long Graeme turns into The Lord of the Flies at the end, and if I was less tired, I could make some sort of joke about me having the conch/gronch William Golding/James Stokoe free association/condo association...but obviously I am far, far too tired.

So lemme just say:  we talk scheduling and artistic teams on DC; new 52 titles and teams we would like to see; The New 52: Threat or Menace?; Marvel movies and costumes in superhero movies; alternative sexual relationships in comics; 2000 AD and Shonen Jump Alpha; our favorite books of the 80s; a moment in Defenders #3 I totally blew past; J.M. DeMatteis' run on The Defenders; The Shadow, The Red Circle, Milestone and other commandeered characters; X-Men franchises vs. Teen Titans franchises; speculation over the changes in the Marvel dancecard; real world landmarks in imaginary worlds; our favorite Superman; Dr. Who; John Byrne's Fantastic Four; Rick Jones; Downton Abbey comics; the Shooterverse and, as you're probably used to by now, much, much more.

iTunes? Hopefully.  Here? Most definitely:

Wait, What? Ep. 76.1: Dares, Wins.

Thanks for your patience with us and, as always, we hope you enjoy!

The Problem With Marvel's Current Strategy

David Brothers has a very excellent post about how the notion of the stable creative team has gone out the window at Marvel with their double shipping madness. I think there's some more pernicious impacts as well that David didn't address.

One primary consideration is that every book, every where, (nearly) every time, suffers from what we generally refer to as "standard attrition" -- that is to say that virtually every comic shows a slightly decreasing audience each and every month as readership walks away, or gets sidetracked. There are certainly ways to get bunches of new eyes looking at a book (crossovers used to do it... not so much any longer), and spike those numbers up again... but the general rule is a slow steady leak in all serialized entertainment.

What happens when you produce your comics twice a month is that the decreasing demand curve does nothing but accelerate because you're giving readers more opportunities each month to "jump off"; and, in fact, you're making it considerably easier TO jump off, because it is that much easier to get behind.

I can't say for certain about any other store, but at mine, while I sell the most DOLLARS to every-Wednesday readers (thems tending to be the most voracious of consumers to begin with), there are way way way more readers (at least 3:1, maybe as much as 5:1) who get to come in once-a-month maybe?If you're lucky 15-16 times a year, but many more can only can get in 4-5 times a year.

A corollary to this is that I rack the last 3 issues of any given series, and this is how I have operated for 23 years now. I'll break this pattern for things that are hot and are continuing to sell well (I'm still practically selling sets of BATMAN #1-6 almost every week, for example), but that does NOT describe most Marvel comics today. What THIS means is that if issues are put out every 2 weeks, instead of every month, then any given issue is only going to be able to be displayed for 6 weeks, rather than 12. This, too, lowers sales.

Finally, people are talking about not being happy with what they're being offered. Marvel hears this as "only wants to buy titles that 'count'", and, certainly, that's PART of it... but the reason people don't believe that books "count" is because there are so many of them -- what's going to happen when they double ship everything is that the audience will then decide that "X-MEN" "doesn't count", because they want to buy just UNCANNY and WOLVERINE &... People (most people that is... there are always exceptions!) simply aren't buying a franchise, at the absolute outside, at two books a week. Most franchises can only max at a single book a week, and several can't muster better than fortnightly.

If you overship of what people WANT to buy, then customers are going to pick and choose, and THEY are going to decide what "continuity" is right for THEM. You, the company, don't get to decide that (though I get that you think that you do). What's especially dangerous about this is that much of the mechanism that keeps Marvel going is the "Marvel Zombie" effect -- sort of a specialized "gotta have them all" syndrome. But Marvel has, over the years, in a completely self-inflicted fashion, driven their most hardcore customers to have to focus on franchises, rather than the Marvel Universe as a whole, and then down to characters -- we've gone from "Marvel Zombie" to "Avengers Zombie" to "Iron Man Zombie" (or whatever) almost out of necessity. To break these habits, to bring this buying inertia, is to harm the very loyalty to the brand that made it great.

Especially when you're now asking $4 for (in some cases) 19 pages of content -- well doesn't anyone up there see that's exactly the wrong time to be fragmenting brand loyalty?

Marvel's Market Trajectory is dire now, and here's my anecdote of how bad I think it is: umpty-years ago, when Marvel went exclusive with Heroes World Distribution, therefore setting off a set of dominoes which have almost everything to do with the market's current state, I decided the only real protest I could make was to not carry Marvel comics on my racks. I would carry every preorder that people wanted to place, but I was unwilling to spend my own money on something that was clear was absolutely against my best interests. There was a ...15, 16 month period, I guess?... where Marvel comics were officially "subs only" at Comix Experience (our sales actually increased during those quarters as well, which I found interesting -- I attributed it to more rack space being given over to other books; expose = sales.)

Anyways, today in February of 2012, I'm selling fewer copies of AVENGERS and UNCANNY X-MEN, including both subs and rack sales than I was selling of AVENGERS and UNCANNY during the Year-Without-Racked-Marvels. That's CRAZY. I had like 32 subs alone for UNCANNY back then -- now I can barely sell 20 copies TOTAL of UNCANNY. Because UNCANNY is $4, and because it ships more-than-monthly, I'm grossing more dollars now than I was then... but it's too a tiny audience, with little prospect for growth... because it is $4 and more than monthly.

The best-selling Marvel book was under 65k -- unless something drastic changes in management of the line, the regular ongoing monthlies are just going to keep dropping from there simply because Marvel asks far too much from readers.

-B

Arriving 2/29/12

Hey, here's a weird one -- a Leap Year Day New Comics Day! We don't get THOSE very often! (quick, someone tell us how infrequently!) And the publishers respond by... erm, the smallest ship week I've seen in years (seriously, look at that "book" section!) There are some TERRIFIC comics in this week... but not very many of them!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #680 ANGEL & FAITH #7 ASTONISHING X-MEN #47 AVENGERS #23 BATMAN BEYOND UNLIMITED #1 BATMAN ODYSSEY VOL 2 #5 (OF 7) DARKNESS #100 DC UNIVERSE ONLINE LEGENDS #24 DEAD OR ALIVE #2 (OF 4) FF #15 GAME OF THRONES #6 GEARS OF WAR #22 GI JOE A REAL AMERICAN HERO ANNUAL #1 GREEN HORNET #22 HACK SLASH #13 HELLRAISER #11 INFESTATION 2 TEAM UP ONE SHOT #1 INVINCIBLE #89 JOE HILL THE CAPE #4 (OF 4) JUSTICE LEAGUE #6 KEVIN SMITH BIONIC MAN #7 KING CONAN PHOENIX ON THE SWORD #2 (OF 4) KIRBY GENESIS DRAGONSBANE #2 LAST PHANTOM #12 LEGION SECRET ORIGIN #5 (OF 6) LOONEY TUNES #205 LORD OF THE JUNGLE #2 MAGIC THE GATHERING #2 MOON KNIGHT #10 NEW AVENGERS #22 ORC STAIN #7 (RES) PIGS #6 RALPH WIGGUM COMICS #1 ROBOCOP ROAD TRIP #3 ROXY RAMJET IN CHOPPED SAKE #1 (A) SCALPED #56 SHADE #5 (OF 12) SIX GUNS #5 (OF 5) SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #234 SPACEMAN #4 (OF 9) STAR TREK ONGOING #6 STEED AND MRS PEEL #2 (OF 6) TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES MICRO SERIES #3 DONATELLO THUNDER AGENTS VOL 2 #4 (OF 6) TINY TITANS #49 TWELVE #10 (OF 12) ULTIMATE COMICS ULTIMATES #7 ULTIMATE COMICS X-MEN #8 UNWRITTEN #34.5 USAGI YOJIMBO #144 VENOM #13.4 VOLTRON #3 WALKING DEAD #94 WORLD OF ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #15 XENOHOLICS #5

Books / Mags / Stuff 2000 AD #1765 2000 AD #1767 CARNAGE FAMILY FEUD TP FF BY JONATHAN HICKMAN TP VOL 01 INVINCIBLE IRON MAN TP VOL 08 UNFIXABLE JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #319 (Hi, Robson!) JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA ARCHIVES HC VOL 10 PREVIEWS #282 MARCH 2012 (NET) PUNISHER BY GREG RUCKA PREM HC VOL 01 SEVEN BROTHERS OMNIBUS SPIDER-MAN FANTASTIC SPIDER-MAN TP ULT COMICS ULTIMATES BY HICKMAN PREM HC VOL 01 UNCANNY X-FORCE DARK ANGEL SAGA PREM HC BOOK 02 X-MEN LEGACY NECROSHA TP

As always, what looks good to YOU?

-B

"The Cane Does The Rest." Comics! Sometimes They Are Butch!

So I managed to get an hour and I wrote this.  So, you know, it's hardly incisive or anything and certainly not structured but I hope it entertains. People like seeing other people fail, right? Tuck in! PUNISHER: BARBARIAN WITH A GUN By John Buscema (Artist), Chuck Dixon (Writer), Tom Palmer, Klaus Janson & Art Nichols (Inkers), Kevin Tinsley (Colourist and Jim Novak (Letterer) Collects PUNISHER: WAR ZONE #26-30 (Marvel Comics, $15.99, 2008)

This comic features the character of The Punisher created by Gerry Conway, John Romita Snr and Ross Andru here presented in an adventure I was drawn to purchase by the title and the presence of John Buscema. Also - it was on sale at my LCS for a fiver. In fact I was initially misled by the presence of John Buscema and the title to expect Frank to be swept up by a Time-Space vortex and dumped into Hyboria where he would initially act like Conan but with a gun but upon exhausting his ammo would then turn his 'Nam sharpened reflexes upon the populace of the stinky primitive land before being hailed King. This does not happen. However, if there is a comic where this does happen (and how could there not be?) then I am all ears.

What the comic delivers is, I guess, the next best thing. On the trail of a drug dealing brother-sister combo Frank is soon removed from the civilised and hygienic milieu of lovely America to the stinky and primitive land of The Caribbean jungle. No offense to my Caribbean chums but that’s how it’s presented here. This is a tale from the time before The Punisher was taken seriously (if anyone can in fact take PUNISHERMAX seriously; which it appears they can) but after the time when he wore white disco boots. The boots have been ditched by this stage which is a shame because I always believed they were his dead wife’s and he wore them as tribute to her memory. Luckily he still retains several of the goofier elements that I always enjoy about The Punisher. In several scenes Frank is pictured in a nice Hawaiian cut shirt emblazoned with his TM skull motif. This suggests that either Frank, like myself, holidays in Whitby and is partial to frequenting the make-your-own design T-Shirt shop just back from the sea front or that he spends his free time sewing and indulging his passion for crafts. Also, early on in the story Frank adopts a disguise. Now, Punisher disguises are one of my favourite things being as they are so terrible as to inspire hooting. My favourite was in the Punisher/Ghost Rider/Wolverine one-shot HEARTS OF DARKNESS written by Howard MacKie and illustrated by John Romita Jnr. In that one Frank grew a pencil tache and slicked his hair back. Luckily Wolverine’s acute smell sense pierced this quickly. I think he used his smell-sense but in all honesty he could have just used his eye-sense. In BARBARIAN WITH A GUN Frank wears a brown wig of no fixed style and another mustache. This works out pretty well until he meets a woman who had earlier seen him shoot the guy he’s disguised as and was also physically pleasured by said guy. Oh, Frank undone by sentiment!

So. Yes, it’s one of those old timey adventures where Frank has all the moral complexity of a brick and just batters himself against the obstacles in his way until everybody who should be dead is dead and then he gets on with a nice bit of sewing. It’s pretty well done, too. Chuck Dixon is certainly a professional at this stuff. He’s certainly professional enough not to let his personality infect the work and thus Frank never spends anytime whatsoever worrying about what consenting adults of the same gender choose to do with their genitals. Dixon is also professional enough to deliver a satisfyingly violent action-adventure romp that takes itself seriously enough but never too seriously. He does a really smart job on Frank’s clipped narration which includes gems like, “Carbine goes Winchester on me.” and “He’s asking for mercy. Sorry. Fresh out.” I dig that stuff, that He-Man steak and taters stuff and it’s all over this one.

There’s no politics either despite the fact that the island of Porta Dulce is bursting into revolution more often than a teen’s face bursts into zits. The ruling class are corrupt and violent, the peasants are corrupt and violent, the Americans there to make a buck are corrupt and violent even the crocs are violent (but not corrupt). The nicest character is a pig that just ambles through and rescues our bunch of heroes with its unerring sense of direction. And it is a bunch by this point because Frank has called in Micro and Ice Phillips. This latter character is a new one on me but he’s obviously got some “juice” because the back of the TPB declares “Guest starring Ice Phillips from Marvel’s controversial series The ‘Nam!” (The ‘Nam was indeed controversial since (at least for a while when it was written by Doug Murray and illustrated by Michael Golden)  Marvel published it and it wasn't awful and was in fact quite good). So one for Ice Phillips fans here! There’s a great scene between the trio where Micro almost spills the beans on why Frank does what he does to Ice (who apparently thinks Frank is just doing it for chuckles or something) and Frank says, “Don’t tell him. Don’t ever tell him. He doesn't deserve to know.” Which is super-pissy of Frank. Then he just flounces off! Ooooh, get her!

Of course all this is illustrated by John Buscema. Or John “The Don” Buscema. Now John Buscema wasn’t really the paterfamilias of a crime family in much the same way as Gene Colan wasn’t the head of a faculty in a school or college but Gene was still “The Dean” and John will always be “The Don”. He was also referred to as The Rembrandt of Comics which means he was frickin aces. It’s important to remember that John Buscema was frickin’ aces because the production of monthly comics didn't do him any favours really. He was mostly relegated to pencils so they could get more of him out there but, man, he loved inking his own stuff. And if you see any you’ll love it too. BARBARIAN WITH A GUN is typically Marvel Buscema as here he provides pencils and as bare as they may seem they still display his talent for framing and generally getting the stuff that matters into the panel in a way that’s unfussy and pleasing. Oh, and he still got emough ink on his brush to draw smoking hot ladies that embody the word "fleshy". Mind you he’s not helped by the buggers muddle of inkers, sometimes there’s more than one of them having a pop at his pencils in one issue.

These comics were originally published in 1994, I think, and John Buscema died in 2002 so we're definitely looking at a Lion in Winter here or at least one that’s feeling the chill a bit. It’s all still there though, all the Buscematic bustle and muscular pop just a bit sticky with the ink of others. It’s a bit odd really because we’re talking about John Buscema here and you’d think he’d have been treated a bit better. It isn't as though Marvel were unaware of the importance of Buscema’s work in identifying Marvel as being quite good. In fact as far back as 1978 Buscema was chosen to illustrate the book HOW TO DRAW COMICS THE MARVEL WAY. His art was chosen as the template for the sausage factory. Not Gil Kane or Jack Kirby,no, John Buscema. Mind you Jack Kirby and Gil Kane would probably have told Marvel to take a flying f*** at a rolling doughnut by that point. Or at least have pointed out that How To Draw Comics The Marvel Way was to have sound legal representation at all times, never depend on verbal promises and remember that you might need money in the future. So, John Buscema’s value was clearly acknowledged by Marvel but at the end they have him pump out some books that have to have the heavy hands of others all over them in order for them to come out on time. Kirby forbid John Buscema be given time to do some stuff the way he wanted at the end of career. Nah, just get those books out, Buscema? Never heard of him, never did anything for us. Where’s my Punisher comics?!?

This lack of respect extends to the physical artifact itself. While the creative contents are fine, even managing to entertain despite the mish-mash of inking, the physical contents lack even cursory care and attention. The cover is a graduate of the school of Intern With Photoshop, the colouring in general is imprecise and wishy-washy and when blood is shown to fly from punctured bodies it is coloured yellow. Yellow. Maybe The Punisher fires harmless custard bullets? Maybe the people he kills are aliens? Maybe Kevin Tinsley needs biology lessons? Maybe Marvel don’t give a chuff? Which, y’know, is their prerogative and all but this costs $15.99 and I don’t think it’s whiny for someone handing over that amount of cash to expect a decent product in return. I hear your TPBs don’t sell so well, Marvel? Maybe that’s why.

Despite all that it is still a sound piece of hugely testicular entertainment which does its job well due to the professionalism of Dixon, Buscema et al. but the fact that it’s such a cheapjack package makes it only EH! If, however, you like John Buscema, daft violence and got it for a fiver it’s really GOOD!

And that’s it from me and now...back to the COMICS!

A BIG announcement!

You know how a few days ago, I promised "a frickin' GIANT announcement"? Well, it turns out that I can officially announce at this moment in time, exclusively to this site, and in front of God and man....

...that the Giant announcement will take place sometime in the future!

Find me at a bar and we'll laugh at how things are unfolding, and, yeah, something IS happening (I'm sworn and promised) but maybe not for a few weeks, or maybe even a few months, depending.

Sorry to get your hopes up!!

-B