“They're Rewriting History. But They Forgot About Me.” VIDEO GAMES! Sometimes I Think After Manic Miner It Was All Downhill.

Geeze Louise, it's a regular content tailback you can see from space we got going on here. Below this is Brian "Two Shops" Hibbs' Shipping List and under that is Abhay Khosla's typically effervescent take on the TV pitch comic Fatale. Me, I let the side down and do a good impression of a middle aged man who doesn't understand what he is looking at or why it is doing those things. Yes! I played a video game and I didn't have to go to an Arcade to do it. It was in my own home. Food in pill form next. I'm tellin' ya! IT'S PEOPLE! Oh, be warned; I have no idea how to get pictures off my XBox 360 so I just scanned in some images. What do you want, jam on it? Anyway, this... As age sets in I think it helps keep you fresh to find new things to fail at, so here’s my latest attempt to avoid staleness setting in. (Too late, John!) This one’s about a video game. Now, I am horrifically old (face wrinkled  like a bat’s anus; side parted nasal hair) so some of the terms I’ll use might be a bit out of date (modem; joystick; decency; socialism) but hopefully I’ll make myself understood plainly enough. Hey now, hey now, now, put down your Rubik’s Cubes and let’s slap that cassette into the tape player, adjust the volume infinitesimally and bask in a high pitched shrieking (not unlike I imagine a mass slaughter of ghosts might sound) because this thing is LOADING….LOADING….shit…let’s try that again…LOADING….LOADING….hang on…LOADING…LOADING…LOADING…

WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER Bethesda/Id/Machine Games (2014) XBox 360 £25.99 and up (shop around - it's what Capitalism wants!)

Right, video games then; not got a lot of time for them these days, I fear. I do still get to go on them though but thanks to the child, “Gil”, I’m mostly limited to those (entertaining) LEGO©® games but sometimes, maybe once a year, I sneak a Bad Dad one in. This year I have chosen to indulge myself with WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER. Tediously, I do remember the original WOLFENSTEIN 3-D (1992) maze and Shoot ‘em In The Face game because in my first Real Job someone had installed it on the network. Being only human  I’d go in early and play it every week day before clocking on, except  Friday when I’d also finish early and stay and play it (while perhaps not being entirely rigorous about the whole clocking on and  off thing. That place is gone now so I doubt they care at this late date.)  I was never a big fan of work but I liked WOLFENSTEIN 3-D; I liked it a lot and I think that’s when I first got the taste for Shoot ‘Em In The Face games. QUAKE (1996) was a big moment for me (Shoot ‘Em In The Face AND Nine Inch Nails!) but QUAKE II (1997) was pretty much my Breakfast Club, my Back To The Future, my Weekend At Bernie’s, My Color of Night; it was a big deal for me that game. I think QUAKE III: ARENA went on-line multi-play which I didn’t follow it into because I have, quite rightly, always loathed human contact. I still don’t do the whole on line thing because human contact? Nope, still not a fan. I like you though; you have pretty teeth. I’m all about the single player campaign and so is WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER. It's a single player game and that's probably the end of any useful information in this tripe.

It’s a Shoot ‘Em In The Face game and we all know how that works right? Everything’s experienced from your character’s viewpoint and they run about acquiring a ridiculously powerful array of armaments. Armaments which can turn people into blood fondue and bring down robots the size of Canary Wharf but still can’t open doors or break windows. There are usually some banal objectives (doors; levers; codes; Universal Health Care) but mostly it is tacitly understood that your main objective is to kill the enemy in such a way that your tinkler feels a bit sparkly and you giggle like a creepy freak. It’s basically murder as play, and there’s an interesting conversation to be had about whether that’s helpful or harmful. We won’t be having that conversation here, but I will say that I’ve played a lot of these games and I haven’t murdered anyone in real life. Anecdotal perhaps but it’s still true. All Shoot ‘Em In The Face games are basically this: playing at murder. Only two things set them apart from each other: some technological leap in graphics/gameplay or the setting. While WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER was a step up to me with its leaning around corners and neat graphics (last Bad Dad Game was Doom III BIG FRIENDLY GIANT EDITION (2012); fun but graphically dated at a rate of knots) For the hardened gamer it’s all probably all par for the course and I think the main selling point will be the setting. Because the setting lets you kill Nazis.

According to the blurb it is 1960 and the Nazis have won World War II which, with the best will in the world, is just factually incorrect. What kind of schooling do kids get these days? It’s all very well and good being smart at programming or becoming a multi-millionaire before your testes descend but where is your basic grasp of history, pal. Oh wait; it’s an alternate timeline where the Nazis won. I take it all back. And it’s a nicely realised one at that. You don’t see all of the world but you see some of it. You do get around a bit and there’s a marked emphasis on concrete, grandeur of scale and durability; as one would imagine there might be in everything from the buildings to the cars had the Nazis won. Although to be fair I can’t think about what would have happened had the Nazis won for any length of time without falling into a proper slough of despond. I’m sorry, I just have these issues with Nazis; I’m sure it won’t take over the latter half of this piece to the extent that I look like a rubber room candidate. There are documents scattered throughout which you can read to find out all the history you missed (America? Folded like a jumper after a nuke) and there was a booklet with stuff in. One of the things in it was a map of the UK showing mainland Britain as "safe" but areas of resistance in Ireland and Scotland. Which I think is just blatant pandering to our Celtic cousins. Everyone plays at having roots in Oirland or Scootland but no one ever wants to be English, do they? Um, they've done a good job on the world-building front is what I'm getting at. But, yeah, having a coffee maker that looks like it could take RPG fire  seems quite Nazi and their loveable way with  rocket science would probably have sent them where you end up briefly (no spoilers). I think the designers do a good job on the Nazi-ness of it all, so good in fact that they even acknowledge the nastiness of it all. And this is what threw me; WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER is really nasty and not just for Nazis.

We'll get to that but first, is it any cop gameplay wise? Well, bags don't come much more mixed than this, I think. There are some absolute crackers of levels; the absolute best of which can be completed either by stealth and shivving or via brutish full automatic fire-ageddon. Your choice; which is nice. Visually there's quite a bit of variation and there's logic in the way your environments are limited. Unfortunately there are a couple of levels which are real momentum killers. There's one in the sewers where I swear nothing happened at all that I noticed , but the absolute worst offenders are the couple of occasions where you have to search for items in the Resistance HQ. It seems like a complete waste of all this technology and programming brain power to put it to use in flawlessly recreating the experience of '90s me in my shared student house hunting fruitlessly and increasingly sweatily for an unsmoked fag. The rule of thumb, I guess, is that if shooting is involved then the levels are pretty good, and most of the time shooting's on the cards so mostly it's a fun time. The AI ain't too shabby neither, but it's hardly likely to be turning on humanity and turning us into batteries while we sleep. The Nazis duck, seek cover, roll and even lunge from side to side. This was all quite marvellous to me and I had a few cool fire fights complete with concrete decaying in front of my face as I leaned out and popped back in trying to take some luckless bastard's head off. Good times. But then I am a bit shit at games so you may be a little less impressed. People like to know about the range of weapons don't they? There's a spread, but not a wild one. Knives are good muck and lead to some repellent takedowns which are even more gooshy if you double wield the knives. Because, yes, double wielding is a thing here. It's a bit Liberace for realistic warfare but still fun. Succumbing to the temptation to double-wield means you will, however, go through ammo like piss through a horse's urethra. Most weapons have a dual mode as well; your SMG can fire rockets, your pistol has a silencer and your knife can slice cheese if you stumble into a soiree etc.. The big thing weapons wise, I guess, is the laser cutter which gains mods as you go along but it can only be used on certain things, which, honestly, I don't think is how a laser cutter with mods would work. The anti-gravity-throw-stuff-back-in-their-face thing in DOOM BFG was more entertaining, to be honest.

There were a goodly amount but not an amazing amount of levels. When you open the case there are four disks and your malignant little heart skips a beat at the hours of fun ahead. Turns out one disc is an installation disk and the rest are mostly occupied by cut scenes. (Are they still called "cut scenes"? Eye Captchas?) These are kind of weird. It took a while to sink in because I was skipping them (because my playing time was limited) but after a bit I realised something; I realised the game was supposed to be serious. Now, early on you see some awful stuff but I thought this was just outrage bait or something. Nope. Now, I don’t know why you play video games (I’m not entirely sure I know why I do) but I’m fairly sure that feeling as cheerful as if you’d just woken up to find you’d strangled your cat is probably pretty low on the list. Early on there are ashes, an emaciated corpse, mental patients being permanently discharged via pillow and pistol, and (a real crowd pleaser this) you have to make a kind of Sophie’s Choice. And all that’s just horrific hor d’oeuvres for what's to come. By the end of the game when the screen finally goes black you’ll wish you’d had the foresight to ask someone to stand by to rub balloons in your face and sing show tunes. It's a game about killing people but it's like they don't want you to enjoy it or something. It's like they don’t want you to have your cake and eat it but rather; you can have your cake but only if you remember that we all die alone. Fun.

I can see their point though. I mean, now I can. Initially I was just bummed out and wished I'd gone for one of those drive'n'rape games; something a bit more upbeat. But looking at this thing while I was playing it over again (it has replay value; that's what people like to hear, right? That and, you'll find someone someday), I can see now that maybe these games have got to the point where they are a little too realistic for comfort. It's not just a case of blowing away a bunch of pixels you're humouring in its belief that it resembles a real person; now it looks quite a lot like you just stabbed some guy through both ears with your adroitly wielded daggers. As a form of compensation or pleasure penance then everything's really downbeat in presentation; people sacrifice themselves but they do it like they are adjusting their tie; the people you kill have conversations about their kids interrupted by you lasering their arms off; no one's happy; the people in charge are all mad as a bag of cats; Britt Eckland has let herself go and everything's turning to shit and that's the good news; the only rays of sunshine are the hilariously ill-judged sex scenes (think Team America) and the fact that the Scots dude has to have subtitles throughout. There are Nazis in this game who don't get subtitles but the Scots dude always does. And quite right too; you have no idea how much technical jiggery pokery Jeff Lester has to submit Graeme McMillan's voice to every week before anyone can understand it. Lesser men than Jeff would weep.

Or maybe, maybe, this snatching of laughter away from the recreational charnel pit has another purpose. Because I know you're out there thinking, "Christ, John, again with the Nazis. It was a long time ago, man. Let it go. It's all over.  Enjoy the smile of your child." And I know this also: you are wrong. Now hear my song:

"...in the Baltic states, where SS veterans are hailed as "freedom fighters" against the Russians and are allowed to parade unhindered through the streets of Tallinn. In this view, the war fought by the western allies against Nazi Germany was a gigantic mistake; all it achieved was the enslavement of eastern Europe under the Soviet yoke." (Richard J Evans, The Guardian, 6 August 2014)

We were fighting the wrong enemy! Who had that ticket in the raffle? How many of you would ever have thought there could ever have been any doubt that the Nazis were the bad guys? Humanity is many things but it is always full of surprises! Look, no one (i.e. I'm not) is suggesting for one second that Stalin was not a monster whose actions shame history but I think we can all agree (Nazis excluded, natch)  that this is taking The Enemy of My Enemy Is My Friend a bit far. If the Enemy of your Enemy Is a Nazi I'd suggest you get used to your own company. WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER does a few things wrong, or just plain weirdly, but the thing it never stops doing is reminding you that there's just no excuse for Nazism; no excuse at all. Sure, it may be confused and straining under the weight of its inherent contradictions but I enjoyed it and I couldn't work out why until I finally nailed what WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER resembled more than anything else. As ever a whole load of time, money and effort has been spent trying to capture that feeling of being in an interactive movie but really what WOLFENSTEIN: THE NEW ORDER reminded me of with its odd blend of adventure and dour solemnity was a bunch of old comics. The old comics specifically brought to mind being the magnificent  Gerry Talaoc & David Michelinie 1970s issues of STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES Featuring THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER. So, yeah, I don't know what a young whippersnapper would make of this game but this elderly gent thought it was VERY GOOD! Just a word of advice though; next time if seriousness is on the agenda it might be an idea not to have a main character called B. J. Blazkowicz.

So in the end we learned nothing except I like video games, but not as much as I like - COMICS!!!

All comic panels taken from various battered copies of STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES FEATURING THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER (DC Comics, 1970s). All art by Gerry Talaoc All words by David Michelinie

Arriving 8/13/14

This week makes a strong showing with the latest ZERO, WALKING DEAD and SEX CRIMINALS plus new TOWER CHRONICLES from Matt Wagner and Simon Bisley. So, so much more just past the cut if you would just click away.

ABE SAPIEN #15 ALL NEW X-MEN #30 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #5 SIN AMAZING X-MEN #10 ARCHER & ARMSTRONG #23 ARMOR HUNTERS #3 (OF 4) REG BRAITHWAITE (AH) ASTRO CITY #14 AVENGERS UNDERCOVER #8 AVENGERS WORLD #11 BATGIRL #34 BATMAN #34 BATMAN ETERNAL #19 BIRDS OF PREY #34 BLACKOUT #4 (OF 4) CAPTAIN AMERICA #23 CAPTAIN MARVEL #6 CLIVE BARKER NEXT TESTAMENT #12 (OF 12) COFFIN HILL #10 CONSTANTINE #17 CREEPY COMICS #17 CROSSED BADLANDS #59 DARK AGES #1 (OF 4) DEAD AT 17 BLASPHEMY THRONE #1 DEADPOOL #33 SIN DEADPOOL DRACULAS GAUNTLET #6 (OF 7) DEATH VIGIL #2 (OF 8) DOBERMAN #2 DREAM MERCHANT #4 (OF 6) FANTASTIC FOUR #8 SIN FBP FEDERAL BUREAU OF PHYSICS #13 GHOST #7 GHOSTED #12 GOD IS DEAD #18 GOD IS DEAD BOOK OF ACTS OMEGA GODZILLA CATACLYSM #1 (OF 5) GREEN LANTERN CORPS #34 HARLEY QUINN #9 HEXED #1 HEXED #1 15 COPY INCV MORA VAR HULK #5 INHUMAN #3 ANMN INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US YEAR TWO #9 JASON SHIGA DEMON #1 (OF 21) JUDGE DREDD ANDERSON PSI DIVISION #1 JUSTICE LEAGUE UNITED #4 KEVIN KELLER #14 LADY ZORRO #2 (OF 4) LEGENDERRY A STEAMPUNK ADV #6 (OF 7) LITTLEST PET SHOP #4 (OF 5) LOBSTER JOHNSON GET LOBSTER #5 (OF 5) MARVEL UNIVERSE AVENGERS ASSEMBLE #11 SYU MAXX MAXXIMIZED #10 MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC #22 NEW 52 FUTURES END #15 (WEEKLY) NEW SUICIDE SQUAD #2 NIGHTCRAWLER #5 NOVA SPECIAL #1 ORIGINAL SIN #7 (OF 8) PATHFINDER CITY SECRETS #4 (OF 6) PRINCESS UGG #3 RACHEL RISING #27 RED CITY #3 RED SONJA #11 RISE O/T MAGI #3 SAN HANNIBAL #3 (OF 5) SCOOBY DOO WHERE ARE YOU #48 SEX CRIMINALS #7 SHUTTER #5 SKULLKICKERS #30 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #263 SPIDER-MAN 2099 #2 SPONGEBOB COMICS #35 STAR TREK ONGOING #36 STAR WARS #20 2013 ONGOING STARLIGHT #5 SUPERBOY #34 SUPERMAN WONDER WOMAN #11 (DOOMED) TERMINATOR SALVATION FINAL BATTLE #8 (OF 12) THE DEVILERS #2 (OF 7) THIEF OF THIEVES #23 THOMAS ALSOP #3 (OF 8) THUNDERBOLTS #29 TMNT ONGOING #37 TOWER CHRONICLES DREADSTALKER #1 TRANSFORMERS PRIMACY #1 ULTIMATE FF #6 UNITED STATES OF MURDER INC #4 UNITY #10 REG SUAYAN (AH) WALKING DEAD #130 WHERE IS JAKE ELLIS #4 (OF 5) WOLVERINE #11 WOLVERINE AND X-MEN #7 WORLDS FINEST #26 X #16 X-FILES SEASON 10 #15 X-FORCE #8 X-MEN #18 ZERO #10

Books/Mags/Things ABC WARRIORS VOLGAN WAR GN VOL 04 BATMAN EARTH ONE TP DAVE GIBBONS WATCHMEN ARTIFACT ED HC DISPLACED PERSONS OGN EL NINO OMNIBUS HC FLASH TP VOL 03 GORILLA WARFARE (N52) GREEN LANTERN WRATH OF THE FIRST LANTERN TP (N52) HEART OF THE BEAST HC 20TH ANNV ED INVISIBLES HC BOOK 02 DELUXE EDITION JIM HC KINGS WATCH TP VOL 01 KODT BUNDLE OF TROUBLE TP VOL 45 LEGENDS OF RED SONJA TP VOL 01 MAD MAGAZINE #529 MEGALEX HC MY LITTLE PONY TP VOL 03 RETURN OF HARMONY NIGHT O/T LIVING VIDIOTS GN PREACHER TP BOOK 05 SAMURAI EXECUTIONER OMNIBUS TP VOL 02 SCOTT PILGRIM COLOR HC VOL 05 SNAKEPIT 10 YEAR ANNVERSARY ED GN STAR WARS LEGACY II TP VOL 03 WANTED ANIA SOLO THE PEOPLE INSIDE HC TWISTED DARK GN VOL 01

As always, what do YOU think?

Abhay: The Finale of FATALE

FATALE, a comic series by Ed Brubaker, Sean Phillips, and Elizabeth Breitweiser (published by Image Comics), wrapped up the other day. I'd enjoyed the first five issues well enough; then gotten busy at life during the next 5 and fell off; ended up catching up in trades before the last issue came out. Thought it'd be fun to chat about how it all wrapped up. Spoiler Warning, but chitter-chatter under the jump.

So I just wanted to chat about it, now that it's wrapped up. Just chat it up. When a well-regarded long-running series wraps up, there's never as much "what did we all read and what did it all mean?" talk as I'd expect. Fans seem to prefer just to be in this mode of "Aaaah I appreciate this exists what next???" rather than to reflect on what the Whole of it amounted to for them.

Then, the next series comes out and it's like, "By the comic book legends that made FATALE." Or whatever. And I find it a little odd, that presumption of greatness when it's a comic I haven't seen people really engage with...? At least not the way comics used to be argued over when I was a kid, where it was normal to hear people with Boring Ass Opinions spout off about the end of WATCHMEN. "The end of Watchmen this, the end of Watchmen that. I am the most boring human being alive!  GRRRRAAAWR."  Why isn't anyone like that with FATALE? FATALE had octopus monsters, too! We're all still boring people! What happened? Why did that go away?

So, right: the end of FATALE. Was everything "explained"? There's always that nagging feeling with a mystery-driven series, that some key thing didn't get explained. This manifested itself most famously after the finale of LOST-- there was a video of "Unanswered Questions" that went around, highlighting for many people how little had been resolved (though I remember feeling that the video was often nit-picking things an attentive viewer could answer perfectly well for themselves).

I'm just not sure I'm really the best audience for mystery-driven series.  I keep diving into them, mindlessly, but I just know with television shows, especially, shows where the action is driven by "watch this episode to find out what all the other episodes you've watched meant"... That model hasn't worked out for me as a viewer so far. Not as much as shows driven by a more classical "this is a show about a character who is driven by urges x, y and z-- watch his behavior when put under stresses a, b, and c" format.

If anything, I felt like a lot of time in FATALE was spent answering questions I didn't really have. The book spent time near the end establishing that so-and-so was the son of a Native American shaman who we saw in issue such-and-such, in order to explain why Fatale Girl had male henchmen who weren't beholden to her. This was very ornate, and just felt sort of unnecessary when earlier issues showed her with an old lady henchmen and it worked just fine, without undue explanation where that old lady had come from (at least that I remember).  Plus: I just always get a little nervous around magical minority characters...

A lot of time got spent with the FATALE characters chasing around a mysterious book. But once we find out the significance of the mysterious book, well... It doesn't make that story feel richer retroactively.

It's the old problem: the answers can never be as satisfying as the mysteries. It's a storytelling model that just has a certain amount of "oh okay, ho-hum" built into it.

So, plotwise, did you like it?  Did you think it had a cool plot?

I think I was on board for the first 10 issues-- I think the highpoint was definitely that Los Angeles arc. The cult, the actor addicted to heroin, Fatale Girl on her own hidden out in some mansion like a forgotten celebrity, the drug-abusing movie producer-- there was a real liveliness and detail to that arc that I don't think the book ever quite matched.

But after that arc, for me, the book started spinning its wheels a little, some of the air got out of that balloon.

Some of single issue stories in particular just didn't feel very urgent. A story about a creepy guy having a ghost mom, or the Old West cowboy issue-- some of those issues just felt like they had no point other than to make the scope of the book bigger...?  Which isn't nothing, but the Mystery of the book just didn't feel interesting enough to justify it. "Here's a lady controlling men in the Old West. Here's a lady controlling men in medieval times. Here's a lady controlling men at a K-Mart sale on toasters. Here's a lady controlling men at a nose-picking competition."

Her powers were creepy enough for 10 issues, but 20 issues? I'm not 100% sure. I think a repetition set in. The book could only present her powers as creepy and strange for so long-- at a certain point, it became a little "This again?"

Plus: in a world where PREACHER already got made, maybe there was only so much juice with me to Involuntary Lady Preacher to begin with... I don't know anyone would ever put "Patience with Comic Books" high on my list of virtues, even under the best of circumstances, though.  I don't think I can fool myself that I'm anyone's Ideal Target Reader, at this point...

But this sounds too negative and I did quite enjoy that LA Arc-- I was never bored by the rest.  It was more a question of momentum, where I felt like when the last arc started, it became noticeable that it had regained a momentum that had gone missing.

Things reached a low point for me with the Seattle arc. The San Fran detective arc and the LA Hollywood Cult Crime arc both felt like worlds where Brubaker-Phillips were powered by a certain lust for the aesthetics. Those felt like worlds they really wanted to bring to life as creators. Whereas post-grunge era Seattle-- it didn't feel like they had the same romance for that time, not the same way.

Ed Brubaker's mentioned in interviews having been there during that time, described that arc as a "bit like going home" and I think maybe that created a very different dynamic-- a different feeling to things underneath the surface action...?  It just didn't feel like there was an equivalent playfulness as what was present for the LA arc-- and it's weird because that Seattle arc, the "woman who ruins a band" manifestation of the femme fatale, should have really worked well, maybe better than the rest of it. On paper, that's really great stuff to play with thematically.

I don't know; I just didn't love the Seattle stretch. One of my favorite movies is a documentary called HYPE! which is about what the mainstream media's "discovery" of grunge, and how that ruined the Seattle music scene. And it's got, you know, the Fastbacks and Tad and all these bands talking about how everything changed once the money became an issue, once people started thinking about money. It's a movie I've thought about a lot since, just watching what's happened in comics in the last 10 years. And so that may just be that I have a very, very particular set of interests about that particular era (as an outsider, as someone who didn't live in Seattle) that fucked up my ability to appreciate what they were aiming for. Or that might be the arc where Brubaker's interests in the time period just most sharply diverged from my own....?

(Plus: the grunge section of Peter Bagge's HATE, where it's about managing the rock band-- that's tough competition for me. That's my favorite part of Peter Bagge's HATE, the first part I think about whenever that book comes up... Well, the second part-- the first part is when Buddy has sex with the girl in the hospital bed, for some goddamn reason... But that's a strong second place...)

Thematically, I'd say the book's ... interesting, with some caveats...?

Uhm, it's about different kinds of dysfunctional artists-- writers, filmmakers, musicians-- and how these femme fatales emerge at their darkest moments-- how that archetype is all about the self-destructive lives of men getting projected onto women, how women get wrongly blamed for the dysfunctions of these broken, shitty men (regardless of the women's actual inner lives).

This thematic exploration culminates in kind of an interesting way, too, which is that the true origin of Fatale Girl (if you look past the contortions of the plot, the cult sacrifice nonsense) is a boy's shame at his own incestuous feelings towards his mother...? I found it interesting, the book embracing that kind of imagery.

I enjoyed what it had to say about the femme fatale.  I just had a harder time, though, with how it presented the femme fatale idea, to begin with.

For example, I think that's where the Seattle music arc should've worked better for me because "some woman broke up the band" is such a classic and obviously sexist story.  People blamed Yoko Ono for a LOT of shit that wasn't her fault, which was just silly-- the Beatles split up because of the Beatles. John Lennon beat women-- people just don't like to talk about that. And people still tell those kinds of "Temptress" stories-- you know, if you remember how people used to talk about Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie, back when all that happened. People blame women for things that men decided to do, all the time.

Did Fatale interrogate any of that in a meaty way? The actual "here is the horrible shit that people actually do" of it all...?  Well. I'm not sure...

Yes, it's saying "stories about femme fatales are a way of men blaming women for the bad things in them, their own anxieties about lacking any control over their sexual desires, etc." All of which I think is an interesting topic to discuss.  But because the stories were wrapped in these supernatural genre adventures, I don't know that the specific examples we saw in the book are as interesting as the specific examples we could talk about just from the life happening around us...? Because it's a crime-horror hybrid, it made FATALE feel more like a comic discussing genre tropes (especially with its recurring focus on the femme fatale myth slamming into frustrated artists), more engaged in a sort of literary criticism, than talking about how men & women tell stories about each other in, like, society...? I felt encouraged to think more about the Wild West than, you know, life...

(Here, again, the value of single-issue stories was a little confusing.  On a purely genre level, I'm not sure how prevalent the femme fatale character has been outside the crime genre. I associate that character with old crime movies-- but cowboy movies? Medieval fairy tales?  Haunted house stories?  I'm not an expert on any of those things, not by any means, but all of them seemed like strange areas to explore the femme fatale character in.  I'm not a huge cowboy movie fan, and the ones I do like... It's hard to remember that character having been an especially prominent part of them.  (Am I forgetting a good one?).  The issue that flirts with Anthony Perkins PSYCHO is the most successful, having at its core another weird boy-mom relationship, but that resolved itself to be a haunted house story and I just don't associate femme fatales with haunted house stories.  So I'm not sure I ever felt like I understood that choice completely...)

Plus, even though I liked the LA arc, I was kind of mystified how the femme fatale idea tied in to the Manson murders or that post-hippie cult-anxiety era of LA crime. Yeah, there were all those women in the Manson Family, but... do people think of them as "femme fatales"?  The word I've always heard associated with the Manson Family is "svengali" which is sort of a different thing (and I think referenced to some degree in the LA arc itself with how the occult asshole is presented).  I think that stretch worked in a fun way as a cult-horror / cult-crime crossover, but thematically, I found that confusing about it...

But: an interesting thing to think about, that sort of recurring Evil Sex Woman character in tabloid history.  I suppose FATALE at least brought up an interesting topic... And there is something to be said for talking about the sort of real life anxieties I'm referencing through a fantasy lens, I suppose.  Maybe for many readers, that distance between subject matter and their area of interest probably wouldn't pose much of a problem...

What made everything a bit weird with FATALE is that usually the femme fatale is an interesting character.  Actresses got to play something besides Supportive Girlfriend! But here,  Fatale Girl character never really, for me, became very interesting because she's always kept at arm's length.  We usually see her from the point-of-view of the different male narrators, which limits finding much about her very interesting separate from the plot mechanics of the moment, separate from the bigger Mystery Story going on.

This culminated in the thing I felt the most confusion about which is the series' ending.

The ending is that Fatale Girl engineers her escape. But her escape is that instead of manipulating men to their doom for the benefit of Evil Patriarchal Demon People, she engineers men to their doom on her own behalf.

But because the story's being presented through the POV of various male characters... how much agency can we say that Fatale Girl is given at the end?

Yes, she's arguably gained "control" over her sexuality, however temporarily. But if it's still bad men doing things to worse men, the same story we've seen play out about 5 or 50 times by that point in the book, how much of an improvement is the Win Scenario to what we've seen before?

Isn't it at some level being communicated that Men are the true actors in various scenarios, that true results are yielded by Men?

Why does the happy ending still involve men doing all the saving?  Is it enough for you that men are doing all the saving but there's a caption box next to the Man-Saving saying "it was her idea"...?

Plus: Fatale Girl learns how to save the day not on her own accord or through her own ingenuity, but through her friend and psuedo-butler, some Old White Guy.  Some Old White Guy has the ability to read mystic books, i.e. Fatale Girl wins the day thanks to ancient wisdoms that are shown as being the sole and exclusive possession of and apparently residing in, uh, old white guys (???)(is it better if the old white guy is the descendant of magical minorities?  Uh, not for me).

Why didn't Fatale Girl discover how to save herself?  Why did Fatale Girl need an Old White Guy, if the book is about Fatale Girl attaining a sexual autonomy from Old White Guys?  Doesn't that suggest that sexual autonomy is theirs to give and not hers to claim?  Or am I just overstating the role of the friendly Old White Guy at the end?

EDITED TO ADD: There's the super-obvious reading I should mention-- that it's about a woman being a character in the stories these men author for themselves, and at the end it's about her wresting authorship away from them-- she "steals their book", tells her own story finally to the writer, and in becoming an author herself is able to feed her would-be other authors to the hungry evil audience instead of her.  And the book ends with her 'freed of male narratives.'  That's the most obvious reading, of what goes on, I suppose, but also just seems... I don't think it really resolves what makes that ending so odd for me at least because it glosses over the "She learns to be an author thanks to a helpful male librarian" part or the "But she writes a story about having men save her" part that makes things just... just a little more weird, I think.  Maybe for other readers, that just wasn't a big deal though.

The finale is preceded by a stretch where we're told that the Fatale Girl character has revealed her weaknesses to Boring Doomed Man and thus become a "real person" to the Boring Doomed Man.

This happens while Fatale Girl and Boring Doomed Man are fucking.

After that, Fatale Girl wins and saves the day, and finally has attained a victory.  After which, she's transformed into a withered crone and the reader is explicitly shown that men no longer sexually desire her.  In other words, FATALE posits victory for Fatale Girl not as a permanent sexual autonomy but as an utter loss of sexual appeal...?  Huh?

-- It felt weird that the book doesn't end with Fatale Girl still in control over her sexuality, after having fought to attain that control.

--  It felt weird that the book's happy ending was her becoming safe only once she lost her sexual appeal altogether.

-- It felt weird that Fatale Girl only could gain control over her sexuality by taking off her clothes and giving her vagina over to the boring-ass boring, super-boring white male main character.

I just found the end of FATALE fucking confusing thematically, confusing as to how I should receive any of this. Or at least... I just thought FATALE ended much darker than I expected.  Because the idea of "loss of sexual appeal as the only possible victory" struck me as very cynical.  That loss of appeal is preceded by an elaborate fairy tale sequence in which fairy tale creatures discuss how evil (the evil of the patriarchy) can't ever be truly defeated.  Which... wait, what??

One of the last comics I talked about, Beautiful Darkness, and talked about glowingly was itself an exceedingly cynical book where it came to human nature. And so maybe I'm being hypocritical.  But Beautiful Darkness was cynical about features of human nature that feel timeless-- our greed, our cruelty, our capacity to pick on outsiders, our capacity for violence.

Whereas FATALE feels cynical about stuff that ... I want to believe (maybe naively!) isn't quite so set in stone. The book sort of just throws its hands in the air and goes "Welp, that's just how it is"-- but about men terrorizing women. Which... is an area of humanity where you can see some amount of progress or at least changes in attitude over time-- not as much as we would like certainly, but some.

(Sure, things may not have improved *throughout the world*, some parts of the planet are still quite backwards.  And look, all human progress is tenuous-- the economy goes one way, human health goes another and fuck it, anything goes, right?  But FATALE feels cynical even within those parameters).

By equating patriarchal violence towards women as an unkillable monster outside of space and time, how much does that obviate our responsibility to actually, uh, think about it or you know, ask that people not be so shitty about things?

Granted, it's a horror comic so the ending maybe is appropriate to the genre. I don't think a happy ending would've worked for FATALE, of course.  But when I ask myself whether women being horribly mistreated is some unfixable thing... I don't know, man. That just seems kind of fucking extreme.

This sort of cynicism feels very par for the course for comics.  It's an industry that just threw its hands up for years and said "Well, women just don't want to read comics." We all used to hear that all the fucking time! All the time! Do you even think about how much we used to hear that?  It was CRAZY!  And even now, it's an industry that throws its hands up in the air and says "well, we'd love to hire more women but there aren't enough that are ready for the Big Leagues. Ooooooh, the BIG LEAGUES."

And not just where it comes to minorities-- I feel like a lot of comics operate in this mode of "Well, this is how it is, and there's no changing it", on a host of topics.

It's all sort of a fucking bummer, man.

But maybe that's a lot to lay on FATALE's doorstep. Like I mentioned above, you know, it's a horror comic.  I just don't know. I just thought that ending was super fucking weird. What'd you make of it? I couldn't fucking get my head around it.

I don't really have a lot in my tank to say about the art...? They try things that I don't feel like I've seen them do-- most notably a PROMETHEA-ish stretch near the end.  But... I can't say I was hugely impressed with results in that stretch-- their version of PROMETHEA is just drawing naked bodies on top of Hubble photos or some shit...?  Uhhhhh.  But they at least try things I haven't seen from them.

Uhm, I think the colors were more fun than in earlier projects, a little more adventurous there-- Elizabeth Breitweiser's colors are usually just an A+ for me.  But I don't think I really have the words to articulate what she's doing that makes it so much better-- I don't know how to talk color temperatures or whatever.  It's more just a gut thing...

I think the interesting thing for me about FATALE from an art perspective, more than anything, is how they made no effort to present Fatale Girl as anything all that special. She just looked like some regular ol' Sean-Phillips-drawn girl. She was drawn a little more attractive than the other ladies in the book perhaps-- but certainly not considerably more attractive. Not "throw away your life" attractive. There was no color cues or anything else marking her as otherworldly.

But I can't imagine any way of presenting that which wouldn't have been cheese-ball or inconsistent with the visual universes they tend to create. Plus, I also don't know that it's something the book suffered from, necessarily, not finding some way to distinguish her. It's hard to imagine a solution that wouldn't have just been ... just cheesy. Or that wouldn't have undercut their efforts to give that character an inner life.  Or that wouldn't have had some unintended meaning at a certain point-- you probably can't put a glowing-ass white lady in a comic and not have it get fucking weird after a while...

So, I don't know...

Was there any part that really struck you, in how they approached things visually?  Or where you thought they broke from how they usually approach things especially successfully?

Let's wrap this up with a big picture question: If FATALE is some kind of big deal-- and I think there's a certain segment of comics that wants to believe that's true or have pretended that's true-- what are some things we hope other cartoonist and comic creators learn from it?  What are the big take-aways for the Young People?

I think a big one for me is how having a comic set in a specific time and specific place adds something. Even if I had a contentious relationship with the book's presentation of 90's Seattle, I got a big enough charge out of the arc set in 70's LA that I think in the final calculation, it's worth advocating for.  If I remember FATALE two years from now, within two years, what I'm going to remember about that comic is the stretch in 70's LA.  That's going to be that book for me.

The book was never super-specific with its references-- it never felt like it was flinging information from Google at the reader about 70's Los Angeles. But I think just letting the reader fill in the gutters of the pages with what they themselves know about that time and place was a smart move, added something to the experience.

So I think there's a teachable lesson there.

From a negative perspective, I think younger creators could learn from FATALE how ... FATALE's an interesting case of more issues not necessarily adding up to a better book.

It's hard to say exactly how or what they should've cut but ... But I think it's a possibly educational book to look at if you want to think about the cost-benefit between fleshing out minor details and preserving momentum. I get the sense from glancing at FATALE fan-talk online that more hard-core fans were really into finding out how the Native American guy was kissing cousins with so-and-so's accountants, and the lineage of all the horses, and whatever else. But me, I think I'd have dug that book more had it gotten to the finale quicker...

That may not line up with the economics, though.  The economics may be that with a series received as well as FATALE and as enthusiastically as FATALE was, it may have been better for them that they have those extra trades out there for sale.

But from a momentum perspective, I think there was a cost that younger creators would want to consider and judge for themselves.

Overall impressions?

Sometimes interesting comic, sometimes dull; not a comic experience I regret by any means, but not one I thought was perfect by any means.

An ending I definitely feel very confused about, but at least not for plot reasons I don't think (though I don't really know why the grunge guy was there at the end-- no idea what he added) but confused more because... because the book was attempting to discuss themes of a certain... of a loaded nature-- these aren't easy themes to discuss, and so, you know, I don't feel any great upset at the points I'm confused by (and feel like it's probably pretty open to other, more amicable readings-- or perhaps answers to my question would be resolved by appreciating some details I failed to consider).  At least a comic with something of some interest on its mind as it turns out, but maybe felt a little muddled in its presentation.

Another book that presents a sort of visual universe that ... You know, right this second, I just listened to that Rob Liefeld Inkstuds interview podcast this weekend so I feel myself really wanting to look at loud, crazy action comics.  But if you prefer to look at comics as a delivery system for visual aesthetics (as opposed to purely narrative experiences), it's another Brubaker-Phillips work that presents a visual universe that ... I think I find pretty appealing and respectable and coherent, even if occasionally or at the moment, I find myself longing for a certain comics vulgarity that would not work in their aesthetic universe.  More successful visually as a crime comic than a horror comic, but...

Yeah, I don't know.  Positive feelings, mixed feelings, I'm all over the map with it, I guess.  But a series people spent years working on and crafting, so... you know, worth at least a moment to think about.

"I've Tasted SHOES With More Flavour." COMICS! Sometimes Despite It Being Summer I Still Sit Here And Write This Rhubarb!

As tradition dictates I read some comics and then wrote about them. However, I feel it incumbent upon me to direct your gaze further down the page where two other people have done some real writing. Don't worry there's none of that below this cut; consistency is key! By Scioli & Barber

Anyway, this...

ALL-NEW DOOP #4 Art by Frederico Santagati & David LaFuente Written by Peter Milligan Coloured by Laura Allred Lettered by VC's Clayton Cowles Cover by Michael & Laura Allred Doop created by Michael Allred & Peter Milligan Marvel Entertainment,$3.99 (2014)

In which Ingmar Bergman is invoked, the man whose name is an anagram of Racial Kite returns, points are avoided, developments delayed and a Free Digital code still isn’t any compensation for charging three dollars and ninety nine cents for a slim pamphlet. I could buy a house for that. A house that looked and acted very much like a coffee anyway.

By LaFuente, Milligan, Cowle and Allred

If I just ripped right into this as it so richly deserves (it’s a mess, and not one of blues, nor of eggs) you’d probably think I had some kind of beef with Peter Milligan. I don’t. Just because I dislike this ungodly and resolutely lifeless muddle doesn’t alter one iota the joy and wonder of all the stuff Peter Milligan, together with various talented artists, has done which I do like. It’s not to be sniffed at either that stuff: Bad Company, Skreemer, Enigma, The Eaters, Shade The Changing Man, Skin, Rogan Josh, Paradax, The Extremist, Vertigo Pop: London, Egypt, X-Force, X-Statix, Animal Man, Face, Girl, The Minx, Human Target, Hellblazer and probably some other bits and bobs here and there. The art is good but it’s by two different people and this together with the fact that last issue a character appeared in a scene they shouldn’t have been in suggests some backstage shenanigans. Pure conjecture there but what remains beyond doubt is this book is refusing to work. If you’re a big hearted soul you could read this as some impish piss take of how vacuous busywork is now the hallmark of the current X-books but for those with normal sized hearts the best way to read this remains not to read it at all. EH!

BATMAN '66 #13 Art by Dean Haspiel Written by Gabe Soria Coloured by Allen Passalaqua Lettered by Wes Abbott Cover by Michael & Laura Allred Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger DC Comics, $2.99 (2014)

All of Gotham sits agog before the cathode ray counterparts of the caped crusaders! But what’s this? Is video villainy afoot? Don’t touch that dial, chums!

By Haspiel, Soria, Passalaqua & Abbott

Hey, Dean Haspiel! I like Dean Haspiel! He draws his figures all chunky and loaded with momentum dspite an oddly flat aspect. I like it and I liked seeing it unfold in service of Gabe Soria's comedic conceit about how in the frothy primary coloured world of Batman ’66 a Batman TV show would be all grim and B&W but still as fundamentally ridiculous as the world in which it was transmitted. Possibly even more ridiculous even. The highlight is obviously the whole “bat-business” schtick which is even better if you use the voice of that “Ya filthy animal” guy from Home Alone for TV Batman. I mean, you are doing The Voices in your head anyway aren’t you? Do people do that? I know I’m reading a good comic when I stop “reading” and realise I’ve started acting it out in my head. Some people might think it’s strange but I certainly have no problem admitting I do that as long as it’s a common enough to pass for normal. If it’s grounds for having my kid taken off me then I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about; get the fuck away from me you bloody lunatic! GOOD!

BATMAN '66 MEETS THE GREEN HORNET #2 Art by Ty Templeton Written by Kevin Smith and Ralph Garman Coloured by Tony Avina Lettered by Wes Abbott Cover by Alex Ross Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger Green Hornet created by George W. Trendle & Fran Striker DC Comics,$2.99 (2014)

In which Batman ’66 meets The Green Hornet and a malevolently mirthful villain is revealed! Actually, technically, Batman ‘66 meets The Green Hornet again since the pair actually met in the first issue but then they get split up and so meet again. If that happens every issue there will certainly be no complaints lodged with the Trading and Standards people as far as this comic is concerned.

This comic showed up because I get and like Batman ’66. However I have little to no interest in Kevin Smith and in fact have actively avoided his doings ever since, over a decade ago now, I realised with the kind of diamond hard clarity I wish I could experience about things of real importance, that I didn’t actually like his movies; I just liked watching Jason Lee being sarcastic. Turns out you can watch Jason Lee be sarcastic in things which have nothing to do with Kevin Smith. The Free Market in action there. I think we can all agree that being able to watch Jason Lee be sarcastic and know Kevin Smith was not involved is worth every bit of inequality such a system fosters. Anyway, the good news is that this comic isn’t as dreadful as I feared. Now I don’t know who Ralph Garman is but he seems to be exerting a steadying influence on Kevin Smith; there’s no scene in which Robin ends up sat in his own shit or any ridiculously long-winded fulminating the humour of which is in inverse proportion to its length. So, Kevin Smith fans beware!

By Templeton, Smith, Garman, Avina & Abbott

I mean it still isn’t much cop but it isn’t much cop in such a low key way it’s hard to say precisely why it isn’t much cop. We just don’t seem to have got very far after two issues and we certainly haven’t laughed very much, or indeed at all, but then we’ve not really resented the experience either. And by “we” I mean me and the unquiet ghost of Dandy Nichols, obviously. This qualified success can’t just be down to Ralph Garman as there are also the calmative effects of Ty Templeton’s art to be reckoned with. And this is despite said art being a bit raggedy, a tad approximate even, in places and generally looking as though he’s loaded up his brush with too much ink. Little matter, because underneath all that there’s still the appealing solidity of his figures, the slight quirk of his line and a definite talent for the delineation of Caesar Romero. And yes, Children of The Now, I realise this brush very likely never existed nor was ever dunked in ink as this is one of those digital books they chuck into print to maximise revenue streams or whatever the expense account big boys chunter over by the white boards. Alex Ross’ covers are fun too. Don’t want Alex Ross sulking in the corner; nice covers, Alex Ross. So, yeah, you can probably tell from the preceding that I wasn’t really engaged by this comic but in tribute to Kevin Smith I did give it an overly verbose, self-indulgent and resolutely charmless review. OKAY!

THE GREEN HORNET (2011) Directed by Michel Gondry Screenplay by Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg Starring Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Christoph Waltz, Cameron Diaz and Tom Wilkinson Green Hornet created by George W. Trendle & Fran Striker

My spawn wanted to watch this so we watched it. I swear he has powers beyond mortal ken (also I didn’t mind if I did either). Naturally I had been assured by the world outside my window that it was a big old stinker but since that’s the same world that liked the Nolan Batman films I didn’t listen. Also, The Lone Ranger had been denigrated by all and sundry and my spawn enjoyed that so, yeah, ignoring all warnings we gave The Green Hornet a shot. First of all there was too much f*cking effing and jeffing; if they’d f*cking cut that shit out a lower rating might have resulted and what should have been a f*cking kid’s film may have actually been seen by some f*cking kids. You know, kids other than those whose parents are terrible gatekeepers. Because, yes, I know it was a 12 certificate but, oh alright, I’m just a sh*tty parent and while we can talk all day about the sh*ttiness of my parenting (it’s pretty sh*tty by all accounts) I think we should all just move on to the movie. I could be biased there. So, The Green Hornet; I liked it. More importantly Wallace Kirby Chaykin Ditko Kane (or “Gil” for short) liked it. Although a lot of his fun was looking at me with a “HOO! HOO!” face every time someone swore. Which was pretty f*cking often. He had a good time though; Kato was his favourite because Kato kicked butt like butt kicking should be done. I liked the colours and general design sense of the thing and I thought Gondry was surprisingly good at action; it’s not really his usual stamping ground is it? And yet I always knew what was going on and there was quite a lot going on at times. Seth Rogen plays that “Seth Rogen” character he always plays and I find that amusing but I don’t need to see any more of it for a bit; Jay Chou was funny and charming and got all the best physical stuff; Christoph Waltz was just a joy and, yeah, um, Cameron Diaz unwisely hogs a role that should have gone to some up and coming actress and is just plain embarrassing every time she appears. It's more of a Seth Rogen film than a Green Hornet film but that's OKAY!

THE SHADOW: MIDNIGHT IN MOSCOW #2 Art by Howard Victor Chaykin Written by Howard Victor Chaykin Coloured by Jesus Arbuto Lettered by Ken Bruzenak Cover by Howard Victor Chaykin & Jesus Arbuto The Shadow created by Walter B. Gibson Dynamite,$3.99 (2014)

In which The Shadow continues to prepare for his departure; turning off the gas, cancelling the milk, slaughtering criminals and uttering bleak aphorisms along the way.

By Chaykin, Arbuto & Bruzenak

I think the only person who enjoyed the first issue of this series more than me was Howard Victor CHaykin because here it is again. OKAY!

WONDER WOMAN #33 Art by Cliff Chiang Written by Brian Azzarello Coloured by Matthew Wilson Lettered by Jared K. Fletcher Cover by Cliff Chiang Wonder Woman created by William Moulton Marston DC Comics, $2.99 (2014)

In which all things move towards their end and Diana, the newly anointed God of War, rejects an offer of Love from that guy seemingly made of compacted corned beef while her allies savour the sour taste of loss. (OR: Wonder Woman’s search of the jungles of Paradise Island for a headache remedy proves fruitless as the paracetamol.)

If you scrape past the crap (and we’ll get to that; the crap) that’s accreted around it this run of Wonder Woman has been a pretty interesting if slow moving in the mighty modern manner. It’s been a bit of a go at a Sandman for the iPod generation or maybe a nice try at a Percy Jackson, but for children (insert smiley emoticon to indicate a joke nearly happened). Definitely more of an ensemble piece than usual and thus Wonder Woman has sometimes been lost in her own book. But on the plus side there’s been some clever reinventions of ancient idols without falling into that “Denzel - God of 8-Bit Cartridges” trap most mythic modernisers run right into (see: Neil ”Have You Now Or Have You Ever Been A Scientologist” Gaiman). Unfortunately there’s a lot of nose holding going on even as I enjoy the parts of the book which are actually enjoyable. And let’s be clear here absolutely none of the faults of this book lie in the art (except for a bizarre colouring blip this issue where it’s like someone accidentally pressed the “Edgar Delgado” button or something). The art here and throughout this run has been pretty fantastic. I mean there’s a reason I’m still sticking this book out and it sure as cupcakes ain’t the words. Chiang’s back for this final trot towards the end and most of the art for the book’s run has been from either his hands or Goran Sudzuka’s. It hasn’t been as consistent as one pair of hands but it’s been pretty consistent and while Sudzuka’s been no Chiang he’s been no slouch either. There’s been a Toth-ian emphasis on clarity throughout and the detail light results have hovered near the cartoony end of the illustrative spectrum, but that’s been all to the good; some of the stuff they’ve been called on to draw would have been pretty repellent if it hadn’t been presented with such a lightness of touch. Sadly lightness has been entirely lacking from the touch of the giant ham hands of Brian Azzarello’s writing.

By Chiang, Azzarello, Wilson & Fletcher

I try not to be a complete idiot so I realise the staginess of Azzarello’s work is intentional. That’s okay, I don’t mind that; Jack Kirby’s comics read in much the same “stagy” way (but in a way that actually "works"; for me anyway, and I'm all that matters). But Azzarello takes it to excess. There’s this thing he does where there’s very little dialogue in a panel and it creates a kind of beat of silence as you move onto the next panel; this is a very stagy effect. It’s an intentional pause for the reader to digest what they’ve just read. It’s thus implicit that what you have just read is worth the extra seconds of contemplation your sluggishly bovine mind is humbly being afforded. And that’s okay in moderation (like heroin) and while it would be wrong to say Azzarello does it all the time, it feels like he does it all the time because he does it far too much. Chuck in the mannered phrasing and nearly every utterance becomes a self-consciously theatrical stentorian oration; as though every part were played by the worst melodramatists to ever tread the boards. It’s fine in moderation (like murder) but so much of it is just fucking wearying. And most of this pause for effect business is purely an invitation to bask luxuriantly in Azzarello’s majestic word play. Unfortunately the level of Azzarello’s word play is such that this is like being invited to bask luxuriantly in cow flops. And it’s everywhere, from the terrible titles (Throne To The Wolves, Icy France; the pain, the pain) to the dialogue (or direlogue; clever, eh? No.)   There is nothing remarkable in noticing that two different words sound the same and then using one in place of the other. it’s wordplay all right but it’s just play; there’s no serious import there, no further depth, no…it’s just farting about. It’s stagy stuff but it’s stagy to excess and…I don’t know but this isn’t an isolated case is it? Isn’t this what happens with comic writers now? They mistake their quirks and ticks for the reasons for their success and their work becomes just quirks and ticks. It just seems odd that in The Age of The Writer quite a lot of the time the writing is the crap you have to scrape past. I told you we’d get to that; the crap you have to scrape past. Thanks to the art then Wonder Woman was GOOD!

THE TRANSFORMERS VS. G.I. JOE #1 Art by Tom Scioli Written by Tom Scioli & John Barber Coloured by Tom Scioli Lettered by Tom Scioli Cover by Tom Scioli Transformers & G.I. Joe created by Hasbro IDW Publishing,$3.99 (2014)

In which two popular children's toy properties I have no clear knowledge of nor any fondness for combine, with the almost certain result that I will express hostility of an almost hateful stripe. Only Tom Scioli and John Barber have the power to avert this disaster; the rest of us can only watch...and pray.

It took an invasion by robots that can turn into cars and stuff but there’s no longer any hiding the fact that Scioli’s work was a sneak attack all along. Flying under The Flag of Jack it’s now revealed for all to see that all that Kirby inflected (KOIBY! infected) alt art attitudinising was all a feint; the real crown he sought to knock askew was that of Wallace Wood. For was there ever another artist who tamed the thrill of toy soldiers and delivered it on the comics page as wonderfully as Wallace Wood? No, Cochise, there was not for it was a hypothetical. From the isolated panels of tanks and trucks and swarming hordes which punctuated such exuberant fare as T.H.U.N.D.E.R. Agents to his greatest evocation of the child at play, M.A.R.S. Patrol, Wallace Wood ruled supreme in the toy box of every child's mind.

By Sciol & Barber

True to his era Wood’s soldiers were all kin to the one piece moulded plastic cast bought by the box in militaristic multiples but Scioli inhabits times Science Fictional by comparison. His roster of rip snortin’ gun toters are the larger, more articulated figures bought by the single in bubble pack mounted on board. Scioli with Barber channel the magic of play so well you can imagine the tips of their tongues protruding from their mouths as they did so while every panel is pregnant with the possibility that a humongous dog will run through it scattering all and sundry hither nd yon before slipping behind the sofa to slobberingly chew General Flagg's head off. And it all takes place on pages artificially aged so well that the only omission from the illusion are those flecks of dark matter which grace most old comics; those which one always suspects are fly shit. These are pages rich in play also with the very format of comics from the hand lettered SFX to the occlusion of speech by the Krackle and flare of gun fire. Not only have Scioli and Barber done Wallace Wood proud they have done it by producing 21st Century comics' first great work of art. Blowing no smoke up your ass here either; it's EXCELLENT!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that people who start a sentence with those words have probably not actually read any Jane Austen but will very probably have read some - COMICS!

So Ugly it is Pretty -- Hibbs on 8/6/14

Hey, me again -- yeah, bi-weekly it is, I think, for now!  Of course, my jibber jabber seems even more jibber jabbery when surrounded by Abhay.... After the cut.....

AND THEN EMILY WAS GONE #1 (OF 5): I thought this had some pretty fabulous art – Iain Laurie is in that “so ugly it is pretty” school like maybe a Mike McMahon or a Ulises Farinas or something – though I know it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. The story was alright: I felt like I could predict each beat before it came, but that’s not necessarily bad with a horror comic, where atmosphere often counts more than plot.. What kills me, of course, is that, being from a smaller publisher (comixtribe), Diamond had literally no copies for distribution available on Tuesday when I pulled it out of the box, went “Oooh, pretty”, and tried to reorder some more. Backorder-only, which guarantees a minimum of three weeks to get a reorder (and is often 6+, because comixtribe is a UK publisher, and Diamond is wretched with UK publishers), which makes it extremely risky to order up on #2, since I can’t say when/if I will get any more #1s, which just creates this whole vicious circle, and then it’s a mini-series, so by the time we figure out the “right” order, it will be over. Ah, comics! I’m going to go with a strong GOOD.

GOD IS DEAD BOOK OF ACTS ALPHA: Three stories in an anthology. The first story, by Mike Costa, was about the same as the main series – ie, I was flipping pages to get to the end as fast as I could because I wanted to be done already; the second story was Alan Moore, and it was wonderfully meta – starring Moore himself and his “snake god”, and if this was ten years ago I’d be betting that this would make the Eisner nominees for “best short story”. I also liked that the inside covers table of contents claimed that Si Spurrier’s story was in the number two spot so I’m reading this, astonished that Spurrier would do such a ruthless Moore piss take, and then I realized it was Moore, and that made it even better. Spurrier’s story, at the back, has a very cute premise about Cherubs and their antecedents, but it practice it probably went on about three times longer that was needed. So, that’s an AWFUL, an EXCELLENT, and an OK in a single issue, which is exactly a perfect case study of why many people generally don’t like anthologies. I liked that Moore story alone just well enough to give the overall comic a GOOD, but I would understand if you ranked it lower.

MILES MORALES ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #4: Here is what I don’t get, what I truly fundamentally, in-my-core don’t get: why would you relaunch your mult-culti Spider-Man comic, put “Miles Morales”’ name in the title, present this excellent marketing moment and time for the book to explode (seriously, on paper this should be at least as big of a hit as Ms. Marvel), and then have your entire first arc be ENTIRELY about the dead white guy? Miles does nothing but react react react to Peter and Peter’s legacy and Peter’s damn baggage. This was probably 2014’s largest mainstream misfire in its wrong-headedness. Staggeringly EH.

MIRACLEMAN #9: I am just the slightest bit surprised to see the Disney corporation publish full-on vaginal birth. I was thinking they were going to cave at the last minute. Good for them. I love Miracleman generally, but as I feared, the wider audience reaction is largely “been there, done that” -- #7 was down below 20k nationally which makes me think that it could be well into cancellation territory before it gets back to brand new stories by Neil Gaiman. Meh, they’ll relaunch that with a #1 anyway. Anyway, I find this specific issue a bit over-written and half-baked, but it sets up a whole lot of wonderful stuff that’s going to pay off wonders, so as long as it is in a rated review column, I’ll say a low GOOD

NEW AVENGERS #22: Mostly because I didn’t write last week, and #21 was the single book then that I really wanted to say something about, I really admire the strong morality as the center of the decision that was made in #21, and I thought that who did make that decision was really the perfect one. There’s some real “No Tap-backs” stuff going on here, and it’s pretty much the sole piece of Hickman’s run here that has got me genuinely interested. The rest of the arc feels too expansive, too sprawling and unfocused, too…. White-boardy. Which is why would really want to point out the moments that work, like last issue and this one, with some of the fall-out. VERY GOOD. I do, wish, however, that Marvel would put more than 7 days between issues, sheesh.

SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #32 EOSV: I might be hard pressed to come up with a worse title for a Spider-Man “event” than “Edge of the Spider-Verse”, which not only isn’t compelling (“edge” kinda means it could topple either way, right?), but it’s not descriptive either. Why not something more punchy like, dunno, “The Infinite Deaths of Spider-Man” (well, that’s awful too). Anyway, it is crazy-making to start off this crossover as #32 of a cancelled series, and that has a premise that’s pretty entirely different than the first 31 issues, and also, since they structure it as a time travel thing, essentially has to end with Ock Spidey surviving and losing him memory of the events, which also makes the starting point at least somewhat “out of continuity / doesn’t count”. But, despite that, mostly because I’ve always been a sucker for multiple-earth nuttiness, I thought this was an entertaining… well, I was going to say “romp”, but the body count was a bit high for that. A trifling GOOD.

TERMINAL HERO #1: Where’s the “Hero” part of it? EH.

What else? Oh yeah, I also liked GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, the film, pretty much. I wish they wouldn’t stray what seems like arbitrarily from the source material --the Novas, kind of pointlessly killing Ronan (he accused no one of anything!), and mostly the wussification of Gamora. THAT was “the most dangerous woman in the universe”? She’s beaten up by freakin’ Starlord at one point, eesh. I probably also would have dropped Nebula from the story, as that didn’t really add a thing, but, yeah, other than that? Decent enough film, and I thought the 3-D was very watchable this time. Either way, the 10 year old loved it, so that probably makes it, what, VERY GOOD?

That's me, what did YOU think?

-B

Abhay: WEAPONS OF MASS DIPLOMACY - No Whammies, No Whammies

This one's about WEAPONS OF MASS DIPLOMACY, a 2014 release of the hit French graphic novel by "Abel Lanzac" and Christophe Blain, English-Language Edition Published by SelfMadeHero, Translated by Edward Gauvin.  It's about a young speechwriter who has to draft France's responses to a "growing international crisis in the Middle East," based on true events, from the run-up to the Iraq War. So, hopefully, crazy people don't leave crazy person comments...?  Fingers crossed?  I tried to pare down expressing my own political beliefs some, to hopefully avoid that.  For example, I took out the part where I compared Richard Perle's soul to photographs of advance-stage STD sores.  I took out an extremely graphic and intensely erotic description of what I think sex and chocolate will be like the day Dick Cheney dies (spoiler warning: better than usual).  Uhm, you know, I tried my somewhat-est, so... fingers crossed...

After the jump, it's the after-jump, and after the after-jump, it's the hotel jump, and something something brand name of champagne!

In March 2003, during the run-up to the U.S. conquest of Iraq, the makers of French's Mustard felt it necessary to issue a press release to remind the public that "The only thing French about French's Mustard is the name. For the record, French's would like to say there is nothing more American than French's Mustard."

"The anti-France fervor that the Republican party had whipped up in 2003 was such that even a mustard company feared that our great hot-dog loving country would turn against it, kids."

-- Mustard-Obsessed Grandpa, the hilarious new character I'm workshopping.

* * *

For a time machine back to that time, from the French perspective, we now have translated for North American audiences Weapons of Mass Diplomacy, a roman a clef by Antonin Baudry (under the pen-name Abel Lanzac), a former writer for the Foreign Minister (and future Prime Minister of France) Dominique de Villepin and famed cartoonist Christophe Blain, author of Gus & His Gang and most recently, a pleasurable nonfiction profile of Michelin-starred French chef, Alain Passard, entitled In the Kitchen with Alain Passard.  A hit in France, the book has already been adapted into a Cesar-award winning film entitled The French Minister. You know: another comic book movie; I don't know if the trailer has that "Ooga Chakka" song on it, but for all our sakes, I certainly hope to God it does!  For the sake of the children.  Our children love who love to Ooga Chakka.  

Weapons of Mass Diplomacy doesn't seem so concerned with score-settling, or indulging in any sort of "I told you so" business that would certainly be well-deserved. I think I'd have to describe it as a very kind work, considering the history involved.

But the Iraq War itself doesn't really seem to be the book's primary concern-- it's more the backdrop for the book's true goal, making light of the foibles, egos, petty feuds and personality quirks of the diplomats caught up in those historical circumstances, in the hopes of celebrating, mocking and demystifying their work.  Various historic details are lightly hidden under obvious pseudonyms or kept purposefully vague, though it's hard to imagine a present-day reader not filling in many blanks themselves.

The first half of the book is more focused on comedy than history, at least, crafting a sustained comedic performance for the de Villepin-analogue "Alexander Taillard de Vorms" in particular-- a performance in the fullest sense of the word, combining both dialogue and body language to create a complete character. "de Vorms" crackles with nervous energy, lets loose monologues, has good days, bad days; showers; eats; babbles; inspires.  It's a pretty goddamn lively performance...

To pull it off, Blain utilizes a range of techniques, most notably a particular favorite pioneered perhaps most famously by Jules Feiffer in his Village Voice comics: cutting away the background and allowing the characters to exist in empty space, so as to focus the reader on the physical tics of the comedic character's performance.

That technique, in the right hands, can be particularly effective not only because it foregrounds the speaker's physical presence, but also subtly indicates how the speaker has dominated the attention of whomever they're speaking to. I like how it thrusts the reader into that other character's point-of-view, how the reader is reduced, like the other characters in the room, to being the speaker's helpless audience. Blain utilized the technique often in the Passard book, as well, but there was approaching his subject with a more respectful tone, whereas in Weapons, he is often operating in a lampoon mode that allows him a wilder degree of expression with his performance.

***

"From the time I was a kid and I would ask for explanations from my mother and she said, “because.” That world of people who could say “because” and get away with it -- starting with my mother and ending with George W. Bush -- has driven me crazy. [...]. If my work is about anything at the beginning it is this counter-attack on mindless authority."

-- Jules Feiffer

The book overall?

Results vary.

There's certainly a pleasure to the de Vorms performance "Lanzac" and Blain have crafted-- it's difficult to remember another comic that so acutely captures what it's like to have someone you're able to observe acting ridiculous nevertheless speaking down to you like you're a fucking idiot, down to the very body language involved. The character is a warts and all portrayl-- often difficult or exasperating, but it's also conveyed why he has the job that he has, how he's suited for it. One is left with the sense of having met a fully realized character, which seems a worthwhile goal (and perhaps an underrated goal). That the "character" is a real person of some modern historic significance adds a certain interest, as well, though this is probably far moreso the case for French audiences than those in the U.S.

And the gentle mockery of the de Villepin character and his team does give some weight to the ending. de Villepin's speech to the UN rejecting military intervention in Iraq comes short pages depicting ministers sneezing on his character, their bodies crammed into tiny planes. On page 198, de Villepin's speech is delivered; on page 178, he's being sneezed on. It's not full-on end of Caddyshack, but it makes it a little more sweet.

On the other hand?

Lanzac-Blain sometimes misjudge what's interesting about the story, and in the moments the book resembles a Devil Wears Prada for international diplomacy, an "education of a boy as to what working a hard job entails" story, well, that just doesn't feel as worthwhile as the parts of the book observing the ecosystem of that office. This is nowhere more true than in their insistence on focusing on the Lanzac character's relationship with his girlfriend. Being made by Frenchmen, a sizable portion of the comic concerns the most pressing questions of our time for Frenchmen: "can a French guy still get decently laid by his girlfriend while he's busy writing speeches and diplomatic visits to the UN?"

Indeed, the comic even bizarrely ends on a hopeful note-- not about the future of international diplomacy or the future of the Middle East, of course, but a hopeful note that this random French guy is going to soon be having some of that sweet, sweet French sex with his lady-love.

Spoiler warning: after the conclusion of the narrative presented in the book, international diplomacy and the Middle East are about to get more thoroughly fucked by the United States than "Lanzac" or his poor girlfriend could ever hope to be.

***

"If he weren’t as he was, France wouldn’t have said, Non, we won’t participate in the Iraq War. The process leading up to that was chaotic and very strange, but the decisions, and the results, were rational. That’s what I wanted to show in the book and in the film—how irrational processes can lead to rational results. ... In France, everybody pretends now that we were against this war, but it’s not true at all. The vast majority of the French elite, including the left-wing intellectuals, were trying to convince Villepin to follow Bush. When I heard him deliver his speech, I cried. I knew it was important. But I also knew that it wouldn’t stop the war. Those are the limits of speeches, the limits of debate, the limits of the pursuit of truth."

-- Antonin Baudry aka Abel Lanzac aka Arthur Vlaminck aka The Mighty Specialist (according to the Wu-Tang Name Generator)

The book concludes with de Villepin's February 2003 speech to the UN, that followed various lies told to the U.N. by Colin Powell. de Villepin knows that Powell's intelligence is horseshit; everyone knows. It doesn't fucking matter.  According to the Downing Street Memo, as of July 2002, Bush had already "made up his mind" to conquer Iraq even though "the case was thin". It didn't matter if the case was thin: "the intelligence and facts were being fixed around the policy."  Everything the U.S. does in this book is a farce, just bad theater.

The French get to have popular comics and movies about how they weren't stupid enough to go along with the U.S.'s decision to conquer Iraq.  I can't say I didn't feel a jealousy reading it...

It's interesting, being raised in the United States, we've gotten to cast the Bad Guys of History as someone else-- usually either the Germans or if the movie's set in the future or in outer space, upper-class British people. Both of whom have sucked in the past, to be fair, but.  Reading Weapons of Mass Diplomacy, it's another opportunity to see how after our empire has finally gotten done with the crumblin', we're totes going to be pretty awesome bad guys in all the movies, at least. We're going to make Darth Vader look like a puppy crapping solid gold statuettes of Tina Turner  over at the local rainbow factory (people like Tina Turner statuettes, right?  It's late at night and I can't remember Stuff I Like, which is probably ... probably not a good sign). "Colin Powell" is going to be the name of some moustachiod villain jumping up and down on babies in some future Balinese Spielberg's robo-movies.

(Calling it now: Bali is the throne island of the next great empire of Earth, and also movies get replaced by robo-movies which are like movies that clean your home. CALLING IT!).

***

"What was insidious about the ’00s view of the world was that it assumed certain cynical things as a given: that the fashion world is and always will be corrupt, that the molestation of young women by older and more powerful men is tradition, that people can be manipulated through fear. It assumed that what was in the interest of a few powerful men was naturally what was right for the masses. The decade kicked off with Bush’s victory over Al Gore, in which the general public will was overridden on a technicality, and went right into a misguided response to the terrorist attacks on 9/11, which established a general atmosphere of fear and sparked a depressing wave of American anti-Islamic sentiment the Bush presidency rode into an unnecessary war. The ’00s were a bully. The whole decade revolved around the public and private erasure of consent."

-- Molly Lambert

"The aide [to President Bush] said that guys like me were "in what we call the reality-based community," which he defined as people who "believe that solutions emerge from your judicious study of discernible reality." ... "That's not the way the world really works anymore," he continued. "We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you're studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we'll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that's how things will sort out. We're history's actors…and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do."

-- Ron Suskind.

"Iraqis used mustard gas and sarin prior to four major offensives in early 1988 that relied on U.S. satellite imagery, maps, and other intelligence."

-- Mustard-Obsessed Grandpa.

It's strange to even remember, that year.

2003 wasn't a great year personally; historically, not so fun, either. After what had happened during the election, I just never felt like it was in doubt that those jag-offs were going into that country. Not really.  It was just, like, watching this car wreck.  I would read all of these foreign policy people or journalists who specialized in the region, and they'd all say the exact same thing, about how after the invasion would be a mess and a civil war and ethnic cleansing and repercussions in the region and blah blah blah.  If you ever hear bullshit about how "we didn't see it coming" what the consequences would be if we went in-- utter horseshit; people just didn't care; they didn't want to hear it; they wanted to hear we'd be "greeted as liberators" and the whole "Create a Democracy" thing would only take a couple weeks.  The information was out there-- nobody cared.  At least if you knew where to look.  You'd turn on the TV or read some American newspaper and it would just be this uncut gibberish.

And the people who spewed that gibberish are still around.  They're going to end up being the people who write the histories of it. And I was a younger person so I didn't realize that... What makes it shitty isn't that history's written by the winners.  It's that history's written by the assholes, by the yes men, by the fucking toadies.

That's the other thing that I thought about while reading Weapons of Mass Diplomacy, while watching Colin Powell spread false intelligence to the United Nations, his great legacy to world history. Just how hardening all of that was to watch, everything that lead up to the war. I was probably pretty cynical before that, but afterwards? Fucking forget it!  I mean, with me, it was always going to be one thing or another, but...

I'm more a comedy nerd than a politics / history nerd, so for me, when I think of speeches, I don't think of Powell or de Villepin, though. I think about Conan O'Brien's speech during the last Tonight Show.

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.""

And I was thrilled when he said it-- it was some goddamn thrilling television. And when I watch it again on Youtube, I still feel something.

But obviously the "be kind" part is a fucking challenge for me-- that part never really fucking sunk in, I guess. Never really got the hang of that motherfucker. Whoops.

And the actual "don't be cynical" part? Ooh, shit, I don't know-- that's always sounded like a tough nut, just when you start thinking about that war, those assholes, the corruption, journalist after journalist disgracing themselves; after what people did to each other during Katrina, after Catholic church scandals, after I don't know how many "car companies don't mind if they murder you" scandals now, after seeing how veterans get mistreated, after prison scandals and I don't know how many police scandals, and food-- oh god, what we're being fed and... I'd have a harder time listing American institutions that I think are in even remotely decent shape, that I think "Oh okay, I guess that's not completely fucked." Uh, those creme-filled cookies at 7-11 are pretty good...? Besides those, uh... fuck!

Weapons of Mass Diplomacy isn't a book about diplomacy saving the day-- it can't be. That's not how it went; it went shitty. But the world is always breaking shitty-- that's just how people like it to be, I guess, because it kinda keeps doing that and HA HA no one seems to mind oh fuck!

No, what's pleasant about Weapons isn't that it's about saving the day, saving the world-- it's that it's about standing for values, standing for the values of diplomacy even when diplomacy itself has not worked. There's a poetry to that, and I think it's the same reason that Conan O'Brien speech will always mean something to me even if I'm not great at actually doing anything he's recommending:  that it's fundamentally about the heroism of continuing to believe in simple, basically decent values even when you've lost.

I think that's a pretty nice kind of story to read, even if the work itself is an imperfect one. And it's just a little sad when you think about it, that Americans don't tell those stories more often.

Hopefully our future Balinese warlords know better.

***

Abhay: BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS -- Spoilers Galore!

Below the jump is a little essay about BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS, the Fabien Vehlmann & Kerascoet graphic novel published by Drawn & Quarterly in 2014. WARNING: THIS IS AN ESSAY ABOUT WHY I LIKED THE BOOK SO MUCH, NOT A CLASSICAL REVIEW, SO I POTENTIALLY SPOIL PLOT DEVELOPMENTS.

There are two spoilers-- one, I spoil the premise (which ... it's the kind of book if you can go in relatively cold, I'd suggest it), and then near the end, I spoil the ending.  I'm very sorry if you're looking for a review on this one-- I can assure you other people have reviewed it, it's a terrific book and you should go read a review of it if you're curious.  There's also a preview at the D&Q website, if you'd prefer just to see it for yourself-- I think the preview might sell you on it, as it certainly did for me.  I was just very struck by it and just wanted to talk about it freely, so-- sorry if this one is not for you.

Anyways-- that's the preamble.  I'll put a little jump and then we'll get going...

BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS BY FABIEN VEHLMANN & KERASCOET, originally published in 2009 as Jolies Tenebres, translator Helge Dascher.

Let's start with this: Beautiful Darkness is probably going to wind up my favorite comic book of the year.[*1] So, there's that.

The surface reasons why are pretty easy to spot-- it's NOT a book of subtle pleasures: pitch-black gags; unexpected violence and horror-jolts; a pervading atmosphere not just of dread but a corrosive disappointment in people and how people treat one another; and oh, the art! The art rigorously creates a precise world but without being too didactic-- it still has a looseness and improvisation of line that warmly invites the reader in and requires their participation; it's both suggestive and complete. This is a full-blast horror comic presented as a grand children's adventure, but those two tones are balanced by a careful performance with the watercolors, in particular, that somehow bridges both worlds without disrupting either, at least for the most part. No matter what horror or cruelty is being depicted, this book is never not eyecandy of the highest order.

But these are the surface things, shallow things. Other perfectly nice comics have swell surfaces readers can just bounce right off. What makes this one stick?

If it reminded me of anything, Beautiful Darkness reminded me of another favorite book of a couple years back, the Winshluss Pinocchio, another sinister fairy tale notable for its art.[*2] It's not a genre I have any interest in-- the "dark & twisted fairy tale" genre isn't one I'm too hot for, (a) never having been particularly obsessed with fairy tales and (b) because I'm a grown-ass man. I gave up on Fables at 5 or 6 pages into that first issue, don't know anything about Wicked, skipped Malificent or that Twilight-ish Snow White movie, crush beer cans against my head, vomit on preschoolers, murdered a bear using only my genitalia, etc.

But it's got this theme I guess I'm just always a sucker for, every damn time.

SPOILERS? Here is a description of the Beautiful Darkness for context: Beautiful Darkness takes that hoary saying that "sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of," and asks what happens to "everything nice" when the little girl is dead and her body left unattended in the woods to decompose. The confused fairy tale creatues that once dwelled in this dead little girl's body have to crawl out of her corpse and make their way through our hostile world, to survive not only the predatorial nature of woodland creatures their fairy tale logic have left them unprepared for, but also their own darker sides which begin to emerge as the vicissitudes of their new lives ever-so-slowly dawns upon them.

A constant cruelty engulfs these otherwise delightfully drawn characters, but what is key is that the style of the art remains for the most part unchanged throughout these depictions. Fairy tale princesses are drawn with the same buoyancy whether they're preparing a picnic or surveying maggots feasting on a deceased child.

And I think that consistency is what makes that book so thrilling. Yes, I imagine some audience members might find the book's nihilism empty and a spiritual dead-end. [*3] But for me, that consistency speaks to a difficult, oft-asked and usually quite boring question of comics: what can comics do that other media can't? What kinds of stories are comics quote-unquote "best for?"

These are usually NOT very interesting questions to me for at least four reasons.

One, I want to believe that a decent artist can make a wedding cake out of a comic about making toast, while a terrible artist can put you to sleep drawing spaceships flying into an obese elf's twat. [*4] Two, maybe (and this is probably a pretty dumb theory) but maybe the very act of asking these questions over-inspire younger or less talented cartoonists to justify cramming fantasy elements into all of their work, rather than to try to find ways to be visually creative about "regular life".  Like I said, maybe a dumb theory, but just a theory.  Three, most comics simply don't beg the question because they're pretty generic.[*5]

Fourth and finally, the usual, cliched answers to these questions are typically unsatisfying. If one is unlucky, prepare to hear something about the "unlimited budgets" of comics-- even though years of summer movies have made plain that larger budget stories have never equated to more meaningful stories, but instead have always equated to grander and grander schmuck-bait. Scale is not story. Scale is not emotion. Scale is just scale.[*6] If one is more lucky, there ensues jargon about how the "reader controls the pace of the story"-- which is at least true, but so academic that the actual pleasure of the thing just feels lost in it. How does being able to control the pace of a story translate to actual human pleasure? How can it improve a story? The fact a reader can stop reading a comic and look backwards 10, 20, 100 pages-- well, how exactly does that make the experience better? How is this a medium really able to full engage its audience, if its strength are readers who can stop engaging with a story dead cold at whim in order to flip back 50 pages? And is it necessarily true that readers actually exercise this control in a meaningful way with any significant frequency, especially as page counts go up and up? Are there people lingering for hours over Craig Thompson panels when they're contained in 5000 page books one has to slog through, the way people suggest (or panel 43 in the 3rd Vertigo trade of a series, or what have you, pick your poison), or is this just wishful thinking?

But Beautiful Darkness, I just think there's something there.

Because the success of the comic comes from the dissonance (thanks, Roget's Thesaurus!) between the the style of the image and the content of the image-- because that dissonance itself is both what that comic is "about" and how it is about it. We are told the surface story of these characters in a particular vernacular, through a consistent style that only rarely wavers (a children's fantasy style, with occasional interjections of drawings in a slightly more "realistic" mode to convey the non-fairy world), but what is constantly conveyed is not a story we usually associate with that children's fantasy style but something else.

Like the Winshluss Pinocchio, like Tim Hensley's Wally Gropius (another favorite of years past), like (well, I think we could debate whether Jim Woodring comics fit here [*7]), the discrepancy between style and content exists as a warning to the reader to beware the power of the seductive image.

• The cute character may not be so cute when it's starving.
• The attractive young lady may not be sweet and safe when she's afraid for her life.
• An adorable animal may sooner peck you to death than be petted.

Goddamn, I'm a sucker for this theme!

Anytime this theme pops up, my ears just perk up. But ours is a civilization driven by images-- saturated by images designed to manipulate us to our horrifying detriment. This is the story of advertising at least, and the story of advertising is the story of a human overconsumption that basically threatens our species' continued viability on this planet, let alone whatever spiritual cost has been inflicted. A guy in a turtleneck waves around a cell phone on a stage, and people end up waiting in line for days, even though they already own perfectly good cell phones. A politician waves around a test tube full of fucking sugar water, and war ensues. An educated but anorexic gentleman in Gobot cosplay is videotaped manually coaxing himself to orgasm in the back of a Del Taco, and the next thing you know, teen pregnancy rates in the contiguous United States are shooting through the roof. [*8]

We are slaves to Imagery, and to think that sophisticated powers have not realized that fact and have not endeavoured to capitalize upon that fact would be the saddest sort of naivety. Every war in recent memory began with politicans yelling the word "Hitler" at people. The tallest man in an election will usually be elected President of the United States. I can't go into a Del Taco without becoming painfully erect now, painfully. The recent history of mankind is of the power of Imagery at war with human dignity and human progress, and all evidence points to humanity losing that fight pretty fucking resoundingly, holy shit!

As its title makes painfully clear (i.e. me even pointing this out is probably painfully stupid), Beautiful Darkness is comprised of "beautiful" images, but then very explicitly hides beneath those "beautiful" images a constant threat of violence and betrayal for those silly creatures stupid enough to believe the image and not look for the reality. Beautiful Darkness is redolent with surface pleasures but it is itself a warning about the lure of those very same pleasures. [*9]

This seems like a uniquely comic pleasure, the central pleasure of the thing arising from the dissonance between image and content. Would Beautiful Darkness have worked in any other media? Not in the same way-- styles in film media, at least, are all bound by the limitations of photography, light, time, the economic expense of CGI; styles in books would come across as an affectation instead of the world-building that the visual information in comic can service. In film, violence would not be perpetrated onto fairy characters, but onto actors and actresses playing those characters. Actors/actresses are themselves inherently loaded images.  Indeed, maybe the underlying "rightness of the status quo" is invariably reinforced by the very existence of the movie itself-- maybe a celebrity actor (e.g. Billy Joe Brando) makes any movie into A Billy Joe Brando Movie, no matter what that movie has to say about our relationship to the Billy Joe Brando(s) of the world-- why we create them, how we project onto them, etc.

Disney fans among you may be yelling at your screen "Gaston from Beauty & The Beast! This comic you're hot for is just a horror version of the Gaston story, you dickless baboon."[*10] But I would argue that the illusion of life that the Disney animators are so dedicated to is maybe the ultimate example of the problem I'm trying (and failing!) to get at. Even setting aside the narrow range of styles that have been typically utilized in big studio animation [*11], how effective can something that uses the illusion of life as its central appeal be as a tool to question our illusions? How can a medium interrogate the images around us when it has as its central goal to hold an audience in its thrall through the various deceptions of the "moving picture"?

Maybe comics are a narrative medium where there is enough distance between the image and the reader that the reader can stay awake to the essential falsity of images and can really think about what our images are doing to us. Maybe the pleasure of comics is that the reader is not only told something visually, but can question how they are being told it in a way that is far more true than is the case for film, games, television, etc.  Aaah, I just get into this fucking theme when I see it!  Goddamn!  Both Mannie Fresh and I, fools for this beat.

But of course, even in comics, there is little cause for hope.

The American comic reader is typically presented with persistent fantasy images, most sponsoring fantasies of power, celebrity, the worship of youth, all the usual racial and sexual bullshit as to what constitutes "normal" for a hero. [*12] HERE AGAIN A SPOILER WARNING FOR THE ENDING OF THE BOOK. And this, of course, is the ultimate ending of Beautiful Darkness-- the comic does not end with any "liberation" from images, but with one of the fairy tale characters even revealed to be mindlessly in love with the benevolent image of a sinister patriarchy that would surely be hostile to her existence if it deigned to even notice her. The characters aware of the danger around them and the folly of the images they are surrounded with are ultimately no more empowered by this information than any other character, and meets no better a fate.

Understanding the power of images over us doesn't mean that we are freed from their power.

Understanding we can be destroyed by what we love doesn't mean we can't help but find it beautiful anyways.

***************************************************

ENDNOTES

[1] At least in the category of Comics That Aren't Sexcastle since Sexcastle deserves its own category. My favorite comic book in the category of Comics That Are Sexcastle? Probably that issue of Captain America where Falcon gets date-raped by jailbait, or whatever. Surprise win!!  I really thought Sexcastle had a shot at winning that category! It's a real Dewey Defeats Truman.

[2] Pinocchio is the stranger and more inexplicable work, and so for me, maybe the more impressive work, in that it's a little more committed to its sinister dream logic.

[3] I would think that nihilism might invite a "corrective takedown" type critical review-- Hooded Utilitarian-style or what have you. I'd kinda think that'd be something someone out there would be inclined to write-- I remember people expressing concern in the past when books come out and only got glowing reviews, a conversation about that Dash Shaw family book, in particular.  I don't know-- we'll see, I guess.  Also, while I'm rambling nonsensically, did you know that some Marvel Comics super-fan went into the wikiquote for the word "nihilism" and threw in a quote from Thanos (via Jim Starlin)?  "The Universe will now be set right. Made over to fit my unique view of what should be. Let Nihilism reign supreme!"  Whoever put that on the Wikiquote page is a Goddamn American Hero.  I salute you.

[4] This joke will be made into a 13-hour movie by Peter Jackson in 2016. Congratulations, losers!

[5] "Why isn't this a movie?" when asked of certain Image Comics in my apartment would usually be followed by a long sigh, exhausted moments spent staring out at the horizon silently with shoulders drooped, and a light smattering of snickering and eye-rolling. Followed by back-rubs, champagne and readings of some erotic poems I'm working on entitled "Ode to Making Sweet Love" (hey, what rhymes well with "booty-shaking"?). I'm not going to lie-- it'd get pretty fucking hot weird fast. There'd be, like, crazy necking going on. You know it. You know how we make it do [*13]. Then, things would just escalate out of control. Pleasure would become pain and pain would become pleasure. All the cheese in my fridge would stay cheese but grow a thick head of curly dark hair. Some people don't mind, but me, I don't like accidentally eating cheese-pubes. The art on Southern Bastards is pretty good, though-- I really like how Jason Latour draws noses!

[6] This sort of talk is great if you like comics about talking animals wearing jetpacks or talking slices-of-apple-pie with throbbing hard-ons firing rayguns into writhing piles of angry babies. Some people get really excited by this sort of thing, and yell "comic books!" and throw their little adorable fists into the air.  Those people aren't "wrong"-- hey, pleasure is pleasure. I would just prefer my dessert after a dinner.

[7] I dont think Jim Woodring counts since his work is so much of its own thing and so maybe pointless to talk about this way, but I feel like other people might disagree. I imagine there are a lot of examples I'm forgetting but just glancing at my own bookshelf just isn't helping to remind me what I'm missing. Perhaps this speaks to the deficiency of my bookshelf though... Or just the crappiness of whatever I'm babbling about up there. Maybe I'm full of shit. Who cares? If you're reading endnote 7, we can be honest with one another, I think. For example: sometimes I worry that being really handsome, I make my friends feel bad about their own bodies. I might very well be the leading cause of bulimia among middle-age introverts in the Tri-County area.  That's just something I have to live with. God, it's good to finally just admit the truth!  I love America.

[8] It is of course a well recognized logical error to mistake correlation for causation, and for that reason and also to avoid a lawsuit, I am compelled here to say that I don't think Del Taco's food causes teen pregnancy. But I do think teen pregnancy causes Del Taco's food. Confusing? Yes but not as confusing as why America's teenagers are all so addicted to the Del Taco Masturbation Follies category on Pornhub.

[9] For some readers, there might be a logical disconnect to all this hagiography I'm engaged in. After all, would I have bought Beautiful Darkness had it not been drawn in such a "lush" (ugh! I need a new adjective!) manner by the Kerascoets (the pen name for husband & wife illustrator Marie Pommepuy and Sabastien Cosset)? Does our understanding of that market reality somehow undercut what I'm talking about here, the way some people think certain movies are at their silliest in complaining about violence when they are themselves gory exploitation films? Or do we just say "don't hate the player hate the game, p.s. hip hop hooraaaaay hoooo hayyy hooooo hip hop hooray hoooo hayyy hooo triggers from the grilltown illtown some ask how it feels now the deal is that we're real so we're still round don't lamp with a freestyle phantom, aint' trying to be handsome, shrinking what you're thinking cause I'm vamping I live and die for hip hop this is Hip hop for today I give props to Hip Hop so hip hop hooray hoooo hayyy hooo hayyy hooo"? [*15]

[10] I have a nearly [*14] fully functioning penis.

[11] The "none of these people can draw more than one kind of woman in any of these goddamn movies" factor. We get it-- you want to fuck an elf girl! [*4] Those years at Cal Arts really paid off, Casanova.

[12] I get really creeped out when defensive fans point at drawings of male superhero chests when they're making arguments about sexism in comics, incidentally-- I haven't seen anyone talk about male chests as much as comic fans being defensive about sexism in comics. I'm not trying to setup a joke. That's really genuinely creepy behavior.  Way too into discussing man-chests!

[13] We make it do with necking.

[14] I don't want to talk about it.

[15] "You heard a lot about a brother gaining mo' ground, Being low down I do the showdown with any little ho round, no! I wanna know who you're believing, through your funny reasons Even when I'm sleeping you think I'm cheatin' You said, "I know you, Mr. O.P.P. man Yo PP man, won't only see me man" You should've known when I ain't hit it and step That I was wit' it a bit not to consider the rep, heck! I did your partner cause she's hot as a baker Cause I'm Naughty by Nature, not cause I hate ya! You put your heart in a part of a part that spreads apart And forgot that I forgave when you had a spark You try to act like something really big is missing Even though my name's graffiti Written on Ya Kitten I love black women always and disrespect ain't the way Let's start a family today Hip hop hooray hoooo hay hoooo hay hooooo Hip Hop Hoorayy hoooo haayy hoooo haaaay hoooo."

Arriving 8/6/14

With the monster that was last week, this one has a lot to live up to. It does it's best with new MOON KNIGHT, SHE-HULK and ALEX + ADA. Plus Peter Milligan has his new book, TERMINAL HERO, and Joe Casey does his best Kirby with CAPTAIN VICTORY AND THE GALACTIC RANGERS. Hit the cut to see what else is happening this week!

ACTION COMICS #34 (DOOMED) ACTION COMICS ANNUAL #3 (DOOMED) ALEX + ADA #8 AND THEN EMILY WAS GONE #1 (OF 5) ANGEL AND FAITH SEASON 10 #5 ANGRY BIRDS COMICS #3 AQUAMAN AND THE OTHERS #5 ARCHIE #658 BATMAN 66 MEETS GREEN HORNET #3 (OF 6) BATMAN ETERNAL #18 BATWING #34 BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA #3 BLACK WIDOW #9 BLOOD QUEEN #3 BUNKER #5 CAPT VICTORY & GALACTIC RANGERS #1 CHAOS #4 (OF 6) CHASTITY #2 CLONE #19 DEADPOOL DRACULAS GAUNTLET #5 (OF 7) DETECTIVE COMICS #34 DICKS END OF TIME #3 EARTH 2 #26 EXTINCTION PARADE WAR #2 FAIREST #28 FLASH GORDON #4 GAME OF THRONES #21 GARFIELD #28 GOD IS DEAD BOOK OF ACTS ALPHA GRAYSON #2 GREEN ARROW #34 GREEN LANTERN #34 HACK SLASH SON OF SAMHAIN #2 HARBINGER OMEGAS #1 HAUNTED HORROR #12 HINTERKIND #10 HOWTOONS REIGNITION #1 I FEEL SICK #1 I FEEL SICK #2 IMPERIAL #1 INVINCIBLE #113 IRON FIST LIVING WEAPON #5 JENNIFER BLOOD BORN AGAIN #1 (OF 5) JUSTICE LEAGUE 3000 #9 KICK-ASS 3 #8 (OF 8) LAZARUS #10 LEGEND OF BOLD RILEY #2 LEGENDARY STAR LORD #2 LOONEY TUNES #220 MADAME FRANKENSTEIN #4 (OF 7) MARS ATTACKS FIRST BORN #3 (OF 4) MICHAEL AVON OEMINGS VICTORIES #14 MIGHTY TITAN #1 MILES MORALES ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #4 MIRACLEMAN #9 MOON KNIGHT #6 NAILBITER #4 NEW 52 FUTURES END #14 (WEEKLY) NEW AVENGERS #22 NEW VAMPIRELLA #3 NEW WARRIORS #8 NIGHTWORLD #1 (OF 4) ORIGINAL SIN #3.4 ORIGINAL SIN #5.3 PUNISHER #9 ROBOCOP 2014 #2 ROCKET RACCOON #2 ROGUES VOL 2 #3 (OF 5) COLD SHIP RUSH CLOCKWORK ANGELS #4 SAMURAI JACK #10 SHADOW MIDNIGHT MOSCOW #3 (OF 6) SHE-HULK #7 SIP (STRANGERS IN PARADISE) KIDS #1 SIXTH GUN DAYS OF THE DEAD #1 (OF 5) SONIC UNIVERSE #66 SPREAD #2 SQUIDDER #2 STAR MAGE #5 (OF 6) STAR SLAMMERS REMASTERED #5 STAR TREK NEW VISIONS TIMES ECHO STEVEN UNIVERSE #1 SUICIDE RISK #16 SUPERIOR FOES OF SPIDER-MAN #14 SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #32 EOSV SUPERMAN WONDER WOMAN ANNUAL #1 (DOOMED) SWAMP THING #34 TALES OF HONOR #4 TECH JACKET #2 TERMINAL HERO #1 TINY TITANS RETURN TO THE TREEHOUSE #3 (OF 6) TOM CLANCY SPLINTER CELL ECHOES #2 (OF 4) TRINITY OF SIN PHANTOM STRANGER #22 UBER #16 USAGI YOJIMBO SENSO #1 (OF 6) WASTE OF TIME #1 WOODS #4

Books/Mags/Things ARCHIE THE MARRIED LIFE TP VOL 05 BENNY AND PENNY IN LOST & FOUND GN BUNKER TP VOL 01 COMPLETE ELFQUEST TP VOL 01 ORIGINAL QUEST CONSTANTINE TP VOL 02 BLIGHT (N52) DEATH OF ARCHIE LIFE CELEBRATED TP DEXTER DOWN UNDER PREM HC ENDLESS SKY GN FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND #275 FEAR AGENT TP VOL 05 I AGAINST I FILLER BUNNY COLLECTED WORKS TP FURY MAX HC MY WAR GONE BY GOD IS DEAD TP VOL 02 I WAS THE CAT HC JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #350 JUICE SQUEEZERS TP VOL 01 GREAT BUG ELEVATOR KODT BUNDLE OF TROUBLE TP VOL 44 MARVEL UNIVERSE AVENGERS ASSEMBLE DIGEST TP VOL 02 MY NEIGHBOURS BIKINI GN NEIL GAIMAN GRAVEYARD BOOK HC GN VOL 01 RING OF NIBELUNG HC THANOS INFINITY REVELATION OGN HC THUNDER AGENTS CLASSICS TP VOL 04 TRILLIUM TP UNCANNY X-FORCE BY REMENDER COMP COLL TP VOL 01

As always, what do YOU think?

TIlting #235 is live

Available at Comic Book Resources, as always, this month we talk about ways the market has changed since I turned in my first order form in 1989, and survey how the various publishers are handling the challenges those changes have created. Feel free to comment here if you don't want to comment there.

-B

Arriving 7/30/14

This week we say goodbye to some old friends, with the final issues of FATALE and PROPHET. Welcome new ones, with Rick Remender and Greg Tocchini's LOW debuting. Plus, the long awaited third issue of SANDMAN OVERTURE makes it's way to our sweaty, undeserving hands. Those are some highlights, but there is more to behold beneath the cut.

100TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL #1 GOTG ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #15 ALL NEW GHOST RIDER #5 AQUAMAN ANNUAL #2 ARCHIE COMICS DIGEST #253 ARMOR HUNTERS HARBINGER #1 (OF 3) AVENGERS #33 SIN AVENGERS WORLD #10 BALTIMORE WITCH OF HARJU #1 (OF 3) BATMAN ETERNAL #17 BLACK SCIENCE #7 BODIES #1 (OF 8) BRASS SUN #3 (OF 6) CALIBAN #5 CARTOON NETWORK SUPER SECRET CRISIS WAR #2 (OF 6) CHEW WARRIOR CHICKEN POYO #1 CLIVE BARKERS NIGHTBREED #3 COWL #3 CROSSED BADLANDS #58 CYCLOPS #3 DANGER GIRL MAYDAY #3 (OF 4) DAY MEN #4 DC COMICS PRESENTS BATMAN ADVENTURES #1 DEAD LETTERS #4 DEADPOOL DRACULAS GAUNTLET #4 (OF 7) DEEP GRAVITY #1 (OF 4) DETECTIVE COMICS ANNUAL #3 DOC SAVAGE #8 EAST OF WEST #14 EMILY & THE STRANGERS BREAKING RECORD #2 EVIL EMPIRE #3 FATALE #24 FIVE WEAPONS #10 FUSE #6 GEORGE RR MARTIN IN THE HOUSE O/T WORM #1 GHOSTBUSTERS #18 GOD IS DEAD #17 GUARDIANS OF GALAXY #17 HARLEY QUINN #8 HAWKEYE #19 IRON MAN SPECIAL #1 IRON PATRIOT #5 JUSTICE LEAGUE #32 KING CONAN CONQUEROR #6 (OF 6) LOW #1 MANHATTAN PROJECTS #22 MASSIVE #25 MERCENARY SEA #6 MIND MGMT #24 NEW 52 FUTURES END #13 (WEEKLY) NEW AVENGERS #21 ORIGINAL SIN #3.3 OUTCAST BY KIRKMAN & AZACETA #2 PARIAH #6 (OF 8) PROPHET #45 RED LANTERNS ANNUAL #1 RED SONJA #0 REGULAR SHOW #13 SALLY O/T WASTELAND #1 (OF 5) SAMURAI JACK #10 SANDMAN OVERTURE #3 (OF 6) SECRET AVENGERS #6 SHADOW OVER INNSMOUTH ONE SHOT SIMPSONS ILLUSTRATED #12 SINESTRO #4 SOVEREIGN #5 STAR SLAMMERS REMASTERED #5 STAR WARS REBEL HEIST #4 (OF 4) TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #87 TEN GRAND #10 TRANSFORMERS ROBOTS IN DISGUISE #31 DAWN O/T AUTOBOTS ULTIMATE FF #5 UNCANNY AVENGERS #22 UNCANNY X-MEN #24 SIN VEIL #4 (OF 5) VERTIGO QUARTERLY #1 MAGENTA V-WARS #4 WAKE #10 (OF 10) WITCHBLADE #177 X-MEN #17 X-O MANOWAR #27

Books/Mags/Things 2000 AD PACK JUN 2014 ARCHIE 1000 PG COMICS EXPLOSION TP BATMAN DARK KNIGHT TP VOL 03 MAD BATMAN LIL GOTHAM TP VOL 02 BUCK ROGERS IN 25TH CENTURY PX HC VOL 01 GRIEVOUS ANGELS GAST GN HOW TO BE HAPPY HC ILLUSTRATION MAGAZINE #45 JUDGE ANDERSON PSI FILES TP VOL 04 JUDGE DREDD DAY OF CHAOS FALLOUT GN LAZARUS TP VOL 02 LIFT LETTER 44 TP VOL 01 ESCAPE VELOCITY MONSTER TP VOL 01 PERFECT ED URASAWA NAJA HC ROGUE TROOPER TALES OF NU EARTH GN VOL 04 RUNAWAYS COMPLETE COLLECTION TP VOL 01 SHELTERED TP VOL 02 WEAPON BROWN HC OMEGA ED WRAITH WELCOME TO CHRISTMASLAND HC X-MEN MAGNETO TESTAMENT TP NEW PTG

As always, what do YOU think?

Starting off slow; Hibbs on 7/23/14

OK, spam  on the site locked down, new store pretty close to squared away, maybe I am now in place to start reveiwin' again.  I've certainly been missing it somewhat. I can't promise this will be every week (in fact, I think I feel confident in announcing that this will NOT be each and every week... unless I do one of those Patreon thingies, in which case then it would be a paid job, and thus an obligation.  But I'm not thinking about doing that until I can prove to MYSELF that I can stay on this horse for a little while. Let's just go full capsule-style under that jump.

AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE #6: Man, talk about a crazy good issue of a crazy good comic book. I wish these came out more frequently, sure, but damn if this isn't worth waiting for! EXCELLENT.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #4 SIN: The "weird" thing is that the Doc Ock stuff was really really really working, and there wasn't exactly a great creative reason to bring back Peter; and so much of the "what's next" appears to be tied up in multiple versions of Spider-Man, anyway, which less reason to bring back Peter, right? "Secret other spider-person locked in a vault for 10 years" is, I guess, a thing, but it strikes me that it is a thing that absolutely takes focus away from Peter and having's Peter's stories be about PETER (because, otherwise, why bring him back?).  I guess that's a long, tangled way of saying: EH.

BATMAN #33 (ZERO YEAR): Oh, oh, finally "Zero Year" ends.  I'm sure it will read pretty swell as a book, but as individual comics I mostly thought it was meandering and plodding.  However! I liked the end if only because it it was a generally cerebral conclusion, with a battle of wits at the core. I've got a strong GOOD in my heart for this.

BATMAN AND ROBIN #33 (ROBIN RISES): I have to say that I prefer a Batman who tries to, y'know, sneak around the JLA, to one who just quits when he doesn't get his way.  And damn if I don't think this book looks crazy fabulous, too -- but I'm having a great deal of cognitive dissonance with the DC universe insisting to me that Darkseid is actually a scary threat when I and you both know that he was always just All Talk in the previous continuity, while at the same time insisting that everything that had to do with Ras' al Ghul DID happen just like they've shown it before. So this storyline has me torn between "awesome!" and "Yeah, but no!".  A slightly less enthusiastic GOOD then?

BATMAN ETERNAL #16: With some more artistic consistency, this could be the greatest "big" Batman story ever (It's certainly more coherant than, say, "Knightfall" or "Cataclysm"), but, man, do I get whiplash of the art when reading this. I'm really liking the little game they're playing with the spectre here, and I like the "new" additions to the cast, and, yeah, I just generally think this is a golden age to be a Batman fan, I guess, so, here's a solid GOOD, too.

NEW 52 FUTURES END #12: I've lost the thread of this. I felt like I skipped an issue or something? But I didn't? Mostly I just don't care? Sales are horrific on it at both stores, too, so I guess I am not alone. AWFUL.

STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES GI ZOMBIE #1: And now for thirteen words I never thought I would type: I was genuinely impressed with STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES FEATURING GI ZOMBIE #1. Absolutely, positively not what I was expecting (felt very much like a gritty HBO pilot, not even slightly "Star Spangled"; had extremely realistic art, and low SFX, which is the opposite of what the covers promised). Color me shocked, this was VERY GOOD.  It will, however, be cancelled before a year is out, I'm sure. The cover and title is entirely wrong for the book.

SUPREME BLUE ROSE #1: If you're going to follow up on the Alan Moore notions of "The Supremacy", and so on, then this was nearly a perfect 90 degree turn away from the last version, I think.  I am intrigued by where this might go, but at the same time I am worried that Warren Ellis is only on for his usual six issues, in which case, why bother talking it up? It was clearly GOOD, though.

Hey, how about a graphic novel review?

SECONDS GN:  You know, I kind of loved Bryan Lee O'Malley's Chibi-style art here, and the narrative flow, but I absolutely hated the end of the story -- the protagonist learns not a thing, and rather things being driven by "Well, maybe I shouldn't change time/space because it hurts other people", the narrative is all driven by the protagonist's feelings and imaginary magical beings.  "A Wizard Did It" is, at the end of the day, crappy storytelling, and while one could totally forgive the shallow SCOTT PILGRIM for that (because I read that shallowness as an essential part of the story), one expects a little more from the "sophomore" work, doesn't one? I really liked the style and most of the execution of the work, but I thought as a piece of art it kind of failed the test of Humanity. Strongly OK is about as good as I can muster.

Right, so that's me this week.  What did YOU think?

-B

Arriving 7/21/14

This week has SAGA #21 and AFTERLIFE OF ARCHIE #6. If there was every a reason to be excited for a Wednesday, that would be it. But, as I am sure you know, there is much more beneath the cut, so click and find out!

100TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL #1 AVENGERS AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE #6 ALIEN LEGION UNCIVIL WAR #2 (OF 4) ALL NEW DOOP #4 (OF 5) ALL NEW INVADERS #8 ALL NEW ULTIMATES #5 ALL STAR WESTERN #33 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #4 SIN AMAZING WORLD OF GUMBALL #2 AQUAMAN #33 ARCHER & ARMSTRONG #22 ARMOR HUNTERS BLOODSHOT #1 (OF 3) AXE COP AMERICAN CHOPPERS #3 BART SIMPSON COMICS #91 BATMAN #33 (ZERO YEAR) BATMAN 66 #13 BATMAN AND ROBIN #33 (ROBIN RISES) BATMAN ETERNAL #16 BETTY & VERONICA JUMBO COMICS DIGEST #225 BRAVEST WARRIORS #22 BTVS SEASON 10 #5 CATWOMAN #33 CONAN THE AVENGER #4 CUSTOM NAMCO RISE OF INCARNATES #1 AND #2 (OF 15) DAREDEVIL #6 SIN DEAD BOY DETECTIVES #7 DEADPOOL #32 SIN DEADPOOL DRACULAS GAUNTLET #3 (OF 7) DEADPOOL VS X-FORCE #2 (OF 4) DOCTOR WHO 10TH #1 DOCTOR WHO 11TH #1 DREAM THIEF ESCAPE #2 ELFQUEST FINAL QUEST #4 FLASH #33 GODZILLA RULERS OF THE EARTH #14 GOON OCCASION OF REVENGE #1 (OF 4) GROO VS CONAN #1 (OF 4) INJUSTICE GODS AMONG US YEAR TWO #8 JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #33 KILL SHAKESPEARE MASK OF NIGHT #2 (OF 4) LENORE VOLUME II #10 LETTER 44 #8 LIFE WITH ARCHIE #36 MAGAZINE FORMAT LIFE WITH ARCHIE COMIC #37 MARVEL UNIVERSE ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #28 SYU MASS EFFECT FOUNDATION #13 MIDAS FLESH #8 (OF 8) MIGHTY AVENGERS #12 SIN MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDS FOREVER #7 NEW 52 FUTURES END #12 (WEEKLY) ORDINARY #3 (OF 3) ORIGINAL SIN #5.2 ORIGINAL SINS #4 (OF 5) RAGNAROK #1 RED LANTERNS #33 REVIVAL #22 SAGA #21 SAVAGE DRAGON #196 SECRET ORIGINS #4 SKULLKICKERS #29 SOLAR MAN O/T ATOM #4 STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES GI ZOMBIE #1 STAR TREK CITY O/T EDGE OF FOREVER #2 (OF 5) STAR WARS LEGACY II #17 STEED & MRS PEEL NEEDED #1 STORM #1 ANMN SUPER SECRET CRISIS WAR JOHNNY BRAVO #1 SUPERANNUATED MAN #2 (OF 6) SUPERMAN #33 SUPREME BLUE ROSE #1 TMNT TURTLES IN TIME #2 (OF 4) TOMB RAIDER #6 TRANSFORMERS VS GI JOE #1 TRANSFORMERS WINDBLADE #4 (OF 4) DAWN O/T AUTOBOTS TREES #3 TRINITY OF SIN PANDORA #13 TUKI SAVE THE HUMANS #1 TWILIGHT ZONE #7 UNDERTOW #6 UNWRITTEN VOL 2 APOCALYPSE #7 VELVET #6 (MR) WASTE OF TIME #1 WINTERWORLD #2 WOLVERINE AND X-MEN #6 WONDER WOMAN #33 X-FILES SEASON 10 #14 ZERO #9 (MR)

Books/Mags/Things AVENGERS PREM HC VOL 05 ADAPT OR DIE BACK ISSUE #74 BATMAN BLACK AND WHITE HC VOL 04 BLEEDING COOL MAGAZINE #11 CAPTAIN AMERICA TP VOL 02 CASTAWAY DIMENSION Z BOOK 2 COMIC BOOK CREATOR #5 DEADPOOL TP VOL 05 WEDDING OF DEADPOOL DIARY OF A GIRL NEXT DOOR BETTY HC DREDD ILLUS MOVIE SCRIPT & VISUALS GN ELEPHANTMEN MAMMOTH TP VOL 01 GEORGE ROMEROS EMPIRE OF DEAD TP ACT ONE GOODNIGHT DARTH VADER HC GOTG BY ABNETT AND LANNING COMPLETE COLL TP VOL 01 HOWTOONS TOOLS OF MASS CONSTRUCTION TP JEFF SMITH LITTLE MOUSE GETS READY TP JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #349 LOEG III CENTURY HC COMPLETE ED MEMORY COLLECTORS HC MIKE MIGNOLA HELLBOY ARTIST ED MURDER ME DEAD TP MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDS FOREVER TP VOL 01 OVERSTREET COMIC BK PG HC VOL 44 BATMAN OVERSTREET COMIC BK PG SC VOL 44 BATMAN CVR PREVIEWS #311 AUGUST 2014 SAKAI PROJECT HC 30 YEARS USAGI YOJIMBO SEX TP VOL 02 SUPERCOOL SHADOW HERO GN SIMPSONS COMICS COLOSSAL COMPENDIUM TP VOL 02 SIZZLE #62 SPECIAL EXITS GN STAN DRAKE HEART JULIET JONES TP VOL 02 STAR WARS LUCAS DRAFT HC SUPERMAN ACTION COMICS TP VOL 03 AT THE END OF DAYS (N52) SWAMP THING BY BRIAN K VAUGHAN TP VOL 02 THROUGH THE WOODS GN TMNT UTROM EMPIRE TP UNWRITTEN TP VOL 09 THE UNWRITTEN FABLES WALKING DEAD TP VOL 21 ALL OUT WAR PT 2 WAR OF KINGS TP NEW PTG WOLVERINE BY AARON COMPLETE COLLECTION TP VOL 03 WOLVERINE ORIGIN II HC WOLVERINE TP BOOK 01 THREE MONTHS TO DIE

As always, what do YOU think?

The Spam is gone!

Ding frickin' dong the spam is gone.  Man THAT took a while (and four different people)  

-B

“...So The VILE APPETITES of Mankind Could No Longer Corrupt The Harmony of My PERFECT BODY!" COMICS! Sometimes These Tales of Hoffman Deliver On The Fantastique But Honesty Compels Me To Admit They Are Sorely Lacking In The Opera Department!

Hey, I wrote about a comic and now it's like it never existed. Maybe I just dreamt it all. That'd be spookily appropriate. Unlikely though.

Anyway, this... OCTAVIA TRILOGY By Mike Hoffman Octavia created by Mike Hoffman I bought this off Comixology around Christmas time but I went looking to confirm the price etc. and now it's like it never existed. So I don't know what all that's about. It's a real thing, I swear!

Octavia Trilogy is  a strange little truffle of a book I disinterred during a dozy browse through the virtual shelves of Comixology in an attempt to burn up some Christmas vouchers. You may already be familiar with Mike Hoffman’s creation; I was not and I freely admit I judged this book by its cover. This is something you should never do, so I’m forever hearing, and yet that’s what covers are for. So, I don’t know, someone needs to make their mind up about this whole covers, books and judging business. Consumer confusion aside I decided to buy Octavia Trilogy  because the cover called to mind old Vampirella comics and it called them to mind so vividly I  thought I’d found some kind of lost 1970s knock-off. Usually if I want to enjoy looking at some odd 1970s relic which has suffered the full brunt of posterity’s disdain then I just look in a mirror for free but as these were comics I had to splash some cash. Octavia Trilogy was definitely comics but it turned out to be somewhat less cobwebby than I thought. The first ,er, piece (story might be pushing it; see later) is from  2002 (maybe?) and then there are additional chapters that appeared at sporadic intervals thereafter. And now here they all are between two covers…(hmmmm it strikes me now that we’ll be needing a new phrase in The Future won’t we? Now every exciting byte of Octavia's adventures are in one data file! Tell you what, we’ll work on that and get back to you. ) So, yes, comics, not as old as I thought and…in my defence it’s little wonder that I pegged the book as originating some decades earlier as Octavia Trilogy is an act of homage at times so good it teeters on forgery. In it Hoffman is homaging both bad movies and good comics; 1960s Italian gothic horror and 1950s EC Comics. That makes things a bit twisty turny on the rating side as by rights they should be terrible but really well done comics.  Or really terrible well done comics. See,  good and bad have no real meaning when dealing with women in swimsuits who live in candle-lit castles ; it’s more about whether you enjoyed it or not.

And I did enjoy it and, yes, it is about a woman in a swimsuit who lives in a candle-lit castle. Because, as I said, part of what Octavia Trilogy is homaging is Italian horror cinema of the early 1960s. Even a thickwit like me couldn’t miss it as the book opens with a sequence so in debt to Mario Bava’s Black Sunday (1960) it’s in danger of being dragged into an alley and having its knees shattered. However, Hoffman has swapped out the svelte brunette of the movie for his own visual fetish; the blonder and somewhat earthier looking Octavia. As a result it’s a lot less Black Sunday by way of Barbara Steele and a lot more Black Sunday by way of Barbara Windsor. Hopefully we’re clear that it isn’t this Black Sunday (it’s never on telly is it,  that Bruce Dern one? How odd. Well, I like it.)  Before the cineastes out there get all worked up I should stress that obviously Black Sunday isn’t a terrible movie but that classy homage comprises only the first few pages and after that the book flops bonelessley straight into bad horror like it has been struck from behind by an unseen hand.

I don’t know if Hoffman has purposefully strained to recreate the adolescent experience of watching a badly dubbed and choppily cut horror movie on your B&W portable with the sound down low (so Mom and Dad don’t know you’re still up)  or not, but I do know he has achieved that effect beautifully. (Also, your Mom and Dad knew; they always know). Things happen in Octavia Trilogy and sometimes they happen for a reason but that reason might be different to the reason that they happened a few pages ago; it’s like the book is resetting itself as it goes along to accommodate the, um, unique narrative demands Hoffman’s imagination makes upon it. Why it's almost as though someone were making it up as he went along…! To start off with Octavia’s a witch but then she’s a scientist; there’s this guy she doesn’t know but then she does know him and they have been lovers for years; there’s the tragically misunderstood and disfigured scientist who is now actually evil and has developed a Mortococcus, I guess, because he likes Jack Kirby’s Kamandi even more than I do; in the second chapter the entire first chapter is now a movie everyone was starring in but now actually it’s all  a dream from which Octavia can only awaken because not answering a knock at the door is impolite and that just won’t do; and really you’re going to just have to abandon sense and cling to sensation of you’re to get anything out of Octavia Trilogy. And that’s just some of the stuff that happens never mind how all that stuff happens.

On the page it all happens in images deliberately evocative of EC horror comics. There’s a fondness for the signature EC 2x3 grid layout and even the use of Leroy lettering ,for that mechanical touch no one actually likes but which is very EC indeed. Most obviously and most immediately (despite being more Warren than EC Comics, but what you gonna do, huh.) Angelo Torres’ influence lends everything a subtly rutted texture. While there’s a certain sense of Wallace Wood in the impression of disparately sourced images unified by sheer strength of style there’s none of Wood's signature EC clutter; none of the  boisterous attention to detail. As the painted cover suggests Hoffman’s  emphasis is far more on Frazetta for the figure work and overall feel. Great as all that stuff is (and it is great should your palate be so inclined) there remains the fact that the image in any panel loses focus and fades out the farther it gets from the elements which most interest the artist. Which is fair enough as Octavia Trilogy may not be a work of obsession but it is certainly a work of passionate fixations. Did I mention that those passionate fixations are ridiculous horror films and women of a fetishitically precise set of attributes. I bet I did.

Because it’s important you have no illusions (except that one about there being Justice; Christ, people need something) about this book I must stress again the nature of the work you may be considering subjecting yourself to. As lovingly crafted and handsomely illustrated as it all is it remains a fact that it is all in service to a homage of hypnotically bad movies. The dialogue is stilted and random; clearly English but the kind of English that’s a bit off in a way that you can’t quite put your finger on. People say things that seem to make sense but actually don’t. Early on a guy says he’s exchanged everyone’s passport for the keys to a castle so they can use it as a location for their photo-shoot. I’m not really up on property rental but that doesn’t quite ring true. People say other things and you just wave it through but then the things they said tickle your mind a little later and you wished you’d checked their papers more closely, but they’ve probably exchanged them for the keys to a castle anyway.  As you do. One guy is riddled with arrows but turns up later claiming some photographic plates he had about him(?) saved his life. Well, o-o-okay then. Oddness abounds not just in the things which happen but in the way things happen. Bizarre things occur and no one reacts with much more emotion than James Franciscus thinking about changing his bed linen. The men are all coiffed and tailored in a style that was only ever stylish in such films. They are all collar length hair, cravats, sweaters, slacks and sports cars. You know that all the parts would be played by folk with names unconvincing in the extremity of their Anglicisation (Terrence Shakespeare, Butch Drift, Spencer Bentine with a Very Special Guest Appearance by John Saxon) and their lips would lag behind the dialogue like a tipsy ventriloquist had his hand up all their bums. Basically, things in Octavia Trilogy happen in a way that suggests you keep blacking out at crucial junctures. Smarter folk than I would probably refer to dream like temporal elisions or nightmarishly jarring shifts in mise en scene . What they’d be struggling to articulate is the fact they don't know why but for some reason they like it.

Oh, and don’t get carried away by Octavia being clad in her scanties as Octavia Trilogy is very much a throwback to a much coyer time. While the blurb breathily claims that “Hoffman never tires of drawing her in every imaginable position”(!) it turns out that the hypothetical imagineer in question has a very sedate imagination encompassing activities as outre as walking about, bending down and maybe a bit of jumping around for spice. At its rawest the book has some shadowed kissing and off panel amorous action it is heavily implied extends beyond merely holding hands beneath the covers. The blurb also makes reference to Octavia’s “deep dark Dungeon” and it does actually mean a deep dark dungeon but at least now everyone knows what kind of mind you have, Buster. But is it the kind of mind that can handle Octavia Trilogy; the comic that acts bad but is actually GOOD!?

Has malefic Evil even been darker than on that storm torn night Nature ruptured and spat forth - COMICS!!!

Arriving 7/16/14

This week has a bunch of big things! New issues of THE WICKED + THE DIVINE, MANIFEST DESTINY, SHE-HULK, SILVER SURFER and MS. MARVEL. Plus the debut of DC's latest TEEN TITANS series and Rick Remender and Wes Craig's DEADLY CLASS reaches the landmark of it's first paperback collection. Those are but a small sampling of what is hitting the streets this Wednesday, click the link to see what else is happening in comics this week.

100TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL #1 X-MEN 24 #4 ADVENTURE TIME #30 ALL NEW X-FACTOR #11 ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #252 ATOMIC ROBO KNIGHTS OF GOLDEN CIRCLE #3 (OF 5) AUTEUR #5 AVENGERS WORLD #9 BATMAN ETERNAL #15 BATWOMAN #33 BLACK MARKET #1 (OF 4) BORDERLANDS FALL OF FYRESTONE #1 BPRD HELL ON EARTH #121 BURN THE ORPHANAGE REIGN OF TERROR #3 (OF 5) CAP'N DINOSAUR ONE SHOT CAPT ACTION CAT #3 (OF 4) CLIVE BARKER NEXT TESTAMENT #11 (OF 12) CROSSED BADLANDS #57 DARK ENGINE #1 DEADPOOL DRACULAS GAUNTLET #2 (OF 7) DICKS END OF TIME #2 DOBERMAN #1 ELEKTRA #4 EYE OF NEWT #2 FABLES #142 GHOST #6 GOD IS DEAD #16 GREEN LANTERN NEW GUARDIANS #33 HARBINGER #25 HARLEY QUINN INVADES COMIC CON INTL SAN DIEGO #1 INFINITE CRISIS FIGHT FOR THE MULTIVERSE #1 JUDGE DREDD #21 KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #209 LADY ZORRO #1 (OF 4) LAST BROADCAST #3 LEGENDERRY A STEAMPUNK ADV #5 (OF 7) LIFE WITH ARCHIE COMIC #36 LITTLEST PET SHOP #3 (OF 5) MAGNETO #7 MANIFEST DESTINY #8 MEGA MAN #39 MS MARVEL #6 MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC #21 NEW 52 FUTURES END #11 (WEEKLY) NOVA #19 SIN ORIGINAL SIN #3.2 ORIGINAL SIN #6 (OF 8) PRINCESS UGG #2 RAT QUEENS #7 RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS #33 RITUAL THREE VILE DECAY ROBIN RISES OMEGA #1 SAVAGE HULK #2 SAVAGE WOLVERINE #21 SCRIBBLENAUTS UNMASKED CRISIS OF IMAGINATION #7 SECRET AVENGERS #5 SHE-HULK #6 SILVER SURFER #4 SIMPSONS COMICS #213 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #262 SONS OF ANARCHY #11 SQUIDDER #1 STAR TREK SPECIAL FLESH & STONE #1 STAR WARS DARTH MAUL SON OF DATHOMIR #3 STRAY BULLETS THE KILLERS #5 SUPERGIRL #33 TEEN TITANS #1 THE DEVILERS #1 (OF 7) THE LAST FALL #1 (OF 5) THUNDERBOLTS #28 TMNT ONGOING #36 TRANSLUCID #4 (OF 6) ULTIMATE FF #4 UMBRAL #7 UNCANNY X-MEN #23 SIN UNITY #9 WICKED & DIVINE #2 WILDFIRE #2 WITCHER #5 (OF 5) WITCHFINDER MYSTERIES OF UNLAND #2 X-FILES YEAR ZERO #1 (OF 5) X-MEN #16

Books/Mags/Things 2000 AD PACK MAY 2014 2000 AD SUMMER SCI-FI SPECIAL 2014 ALEX + ADA TP VOL 01 BATMAN A CELEBRATION OF 75 YEARS HC BLACK WIDOW TP VOL 01 FINELY WOVEN THREAD BTVS SPIKE INTO LIGHT HC CHEW OMNIVORE ED HC VOL 04 CINEFEX #138 DAMIAN SON OF BATMAN DELUXE ED HC (N52) DEADLY CLASS TP VOL 01 REAGAN YOUTH DISNEY MICKEY MOUSE HC VOL 05 PHANTOM BLOT DJANGO UNCHAINED TP DOC FRANKENSTEIN TP VOL 01 MESSIAH OF SCIENCE RESURRECTED DOCTOR WHO ESSENTIAL GUIDE #2 THE TARDIS GRINDHOUSE MIDNIGHT TP VOL 01 HACKTIVIST HC JOKER A CELEBRATION OF 75 YEARS HC LUST TP PICTURES THAT TICK TP VOL 02 POWERPUFF GIRLS CLASSICS TP VOL 04 PICTURE PERFECT PRINCE VALIANT HC VOL 09 1953-1954 SANCTUM HC SIZZLE #62 STERANKO NICK FURY AGENT OF SHIELD ARTIST ED HC SUPERGIRL TP VOL 04 OUT OF THE PAST (N52) TALES OF THE BATMAN JH WILLIAMS III HC TEEN TITANS TP VOL 04 LIGHT AND DARK (N52) VIDEO WATCHDOG #177 X-FILES CLASSICS HC VOL 04

As always, what do YOU think?

“Extremely Unlikely, And Definitely Improbably, But Not IMPOSSIBLE” COMICS! Sometimes It's A Whole New World. We Just Need Some Magic Carpets And We're Set To Go!

Hello. I read a comic, did a little dance. Felt it needed more work as a critical medium and fell back on words. Sometimes the Old Ways are best. Anyway, this... SOVEREIGN #1 Art by Paul Maybury Written by Chris Roberson Coloured by Paul Maybury with Jordan Gibson Lettered by John . Hill Image, Paper $2.99 Digital £1.99 (2014) Sovereign created by Maybury & Roberson

At the risk of unsettling my regular readers I thought I’d cut right to the nub of the matter this time out; Sovereign is Fantasy. It’s the kind of Fantasy with swords and monsters and cloaks and a classy upper case F. Sovereign is not that tawdry lower case f type of fantasy involving you, a Nixon mask, Kinder eggs and Miss Ga-Ga (Yes, Miss Ga-Ga; because that filly’s no Lady, I’ll be bound). More simply Sovereign is Fantasy a la Game of Thrones. I picked that because everyone knows Game of Thrones and this is very much like that, and that’s no bad thing. If you like Game of Thrones you’ll probably like Sovereign is what I’m getting at there. That’s all I need to say really so there you go. What? No, I don’t watch (or read) Game of Thrones; I did watch the first episode and it was okay (the highlight, naturally, being 1970s Martin Amis as Tyrion Lannister) but I didn’t feel any burning need to carve out a small niche in my life for it. But I think I will for this book because it caught my fancy with its off kilter visuals and intelligent approach.

Also, quite a lot happens. So much happens in fact that Roberson has to carve his book into three chunks. Each chunk introduces a set of cast members intended to represent the mind-set of their particular societies. Since two of the chunks involve groups in transit the contrasts being offered are very much cultural rather than geographical. While we are treated to several of Maybury’s lovely locales none of them really come into too clear a focus (plus one bunch of folk are on a boat and the sea is pretty much the sea even in Scrabble Name Land) so it’s obvious the book is more bothered about the characters. The first trio of whom we meet being three members of the Luminari, which is a sect of spiritual ghost fighters who also flense corpses like master butchers under conditions of extreme duress. They are off see the Tamurid, the current rulers of Khend. It’s in this section that your eye has to acclimatise to Maybury’s off kilter approach to POVs and his art’s general air of swollen decay. I was thinking a lot about tainted sausages during this section. The spur to our spiritual pals’ pilgrimage is some rum business which we will soon see is getting the plot rolling in at least two other areas of Countdown Conundrum Land. No sooner have you noticed that our trio are in fact a cheekily recast Batman (Paladin), Robin (Raven) and Alfred Pennyworth (The Practician) than they are up their nuts in guts and it’s a cliffhanger cut to the next section.

Wherein we meet the Tamurid. The Tamurid are a kind of Steppes warrior bunch and among their number they count the book's Conan analogue. Because his Dad is Khan (no, not Ricardo Montalban) Janramir gets to generally fart about like any rich kid but with the milieu specific emphasis on killing things, laughing around campfires with other lusty men and voicing the eternal Barbarian’s Lament about perfumed men who fight only with words. In this part Maybury has a good time drawing horses so big and thick they are scarier than the big and thick men who ride them. Back at the writing Roberson does some time lapse stuff where the chat flows as if in real time but the images jump from night to day and incident to incident; I like this because people generally do just talk about shit that’s bothering them like maybe going over it one more goddamn time will make it go away. Luckily Roberson realises there’s no need to actually subject the reader to all that repetition. Better to suggest it and to do so cleverly. Take note, jabber jockeys. Alas, all wasteful things must come to an end and Janramir is told his Dad’s dead. Downer. The inference is that he’s going to have to go back and wade through the kind of internecine rivalry and callous backstabbing familiar to anyone with siblings who’s Mum has died and not said who can have her jewellery.

The third and final part of the comic introduces us to a boat borne band whose fictional culture is clearly that of renaissance(?) Britain but, you know, a bit different; more credulity in magic and that stuff. There’s Pol Ravenstone; a bloke whose head is always in a book and prefers others to do the physical stuff, so he’s the only normal person in the comic (cough!); Lady Joselyn Evrendon, a lady it’s heavily hinted at is a bit cold and let’s hope her character arc isn’t as obvious as “sworn virgin” would lead us to infer; and then there’s Argus Mag Donnac, a violent and ill-bred man in tartan i.e. a Scot. The big set piece cracks off in this bit so I won’t spoil it; it’s good. 'S exciting if slightly hampered by a lack of clarity on the part of the restlessly inventive Maybury. I couldn’t really get a fix on the size of the ship or exactly what was happening but it was a quite hectic series of remarkably uncommon events so that may have been intentional.

For the page count of a single comic in 2014 a lot of ground gets covered; I don’t know how much ground because Sovereign omits to give us a map. Which is odd because if Sovereign were a book it would have a map in the front, but it’s not it’s a comic so it has prose in the back. The first time through I didn’t read that bit because I shouldn’t need to. And I didn’t need to. The words at the back worked the way they should, as an appendix which enhanced and deepened what went before. But what had gone before stood solidly enough by itself. I also liked Roberson’s use of quotes from sources in his fake world to preface (and on occasion end) his chapters. This gave everything a bit of extra import and because he’s made them up they could fulfil their narrative purpose more precisely and, more importantly, we didn’t have to suffer that same fucking Nietzsche quote about the abyss everyone trots out. Hey, comic book writers? Read a book every now and again; they don’t fucking bite. Chris Roberson obviously reads books and it seems to be working out okay for his writing, I'd say.

I’m old and move slow so there are a number of issues (Sigh. Yes, I could have checked but my nails are drying, dear. This is strictly amateur hour, you know.) of this series now available but I just read the first. I’ll be picking up the others and I hope Maybury’s art continues to provide a quirky compliment to Roberson’s nifty scripting. However, he might just want to keep an eye on the levels of quirk involved. Looking at issue two’s cover it appears the cast is to be joined by the cuckolded homophobe Ray Purchase from Toast of London. While this would make it the best comic ever, as that probably isn’t going to happen Sovereign will have to settle for just being GOOD!

And remember that there may not be elves, Sam, but there are always - COMICS!!!

Arriving 7/9/14

Last week soaked up a lot of the books that would normally ship in the second week leaving this one feeling lean. Though, we still see LUMBERJANES, SHUTTER, WALKING DEAD and some debuts from DC with GRAYSON and NEW SUICIDE SQUAD. Those are but a few of the books this week, click the cut and see what else will sate your comics need this week.

100TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL #1 SPIDER-MAN ABE SAPIEN #14 ADV TIME BANANA GUARD ACADEMY #1 (OF 6) ALL NEW INVADERS #7 SIN ALL NEW X-MEN #29 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #1.3 AMAZING X-MEN #9 AMERICAN VAMPIRE SECOND CYCLE #4 ANGRY BIRDS COMICS #2 ARCHIE #657 ATOMIC ROBO KNIGHTS OF GOLDEN CIRCLE #2 (OF 5) AVENGERS #32 SIN AVENGERS UNDERCOVER #7 BAD DREAMS #3 (OF 5) BATGIRL #33 BATMAN ETERNAL #14 BETTY & VERONICA COMICS ANNUAL #224 BIRDS OF PREY #33 BLACK DYNAMITE #3 (OF 4) BLOOD QUEEN #2 CAPTAIN MARVEL #5 CHASTITY #1 COFFIN HILL #9 CONSTANTINE #16 DAREDEVIL #5 DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG FU #3 (OF 4) DEADPOOL #31 SIN DEADPOOL DRACULAS GAUNTLET #1 (OF 7) DEATH VIGIL #1 (OF 8) DETECTIVE COMICS #33 DOC SAVAGE #7 EERIE COMICS #5 EMPTY MAN #2 (OF 6) FANTASTIC FOUR #7 SIN FBP FEDERAL BUREAU OF PHYSICS #12 GHOSTED #11 GRAYSON #1 GREAT PACIFIC #16 GREEN LANTERN CORPS #33 (UPRISING) HAUNTED #3 (OF 4) INFINITY MAN AND THE FOREVER PEOPLE #2 JUDGE DREDD #20 JUSTICE LEAGUE UNITED #3 LIFE AFTER #1 LOLA XOXO #3 LUMBERJANES #4 (OF 8) MAGIC WHISTLE #14 MAGNUS ROBOT FIGHTER #0 MAGNUS ROBOT FIGHTER #5 MARVEL UNIVERSE AVENGERS ASSEMBLE #10 SYU MAXX MAXXIMIZED #9 NEW 52 FUTURES END #10 (WEEKLY) NEW SUICIDE SQUAD #1 NIGHTCRAWLER #4 ORIGINAL SIN #5.1 ORIGINAL SINS #3 (OF 5) PATHFINDER CITY SECRETS #3 (OF 6) RAI #3 RED CITY #2 RISE O/T MAGI #2 ROYALS MASTERS OF WAR #6 (OF 6) SCOOBY DOO WHERE ARE YOU #47 SHERWOOD TX #1 (OF 5) SHUTTER #4 SPAWN #245 SPIDER-MAN 2099 #1 ANMN SPONGEBOB COMICS #34 SPREAD #1 STAR SLAMMERS REMASTERED #4 STAR TREK ONGOING #35 STAR WARS #19 2013 ONGOING SUPERBOY #33 SUPERIOR FOES OF SPIDER-MAN #13 SUPERMAN WONDER WOMAN #10 TERMINATOR SALVATION FINAL BATTLE #7 (OF 12) THOMAS ALSOP #2 (OF 8) TRANSFORMERS MORE THAN MEETS EYE #31 DAWN O/T AUTOBOTS TUROK DINOSAUR HUNTER #6 UNITED STATES OF MURDER INC #3 USAGI YOJIMBO COLOR SPECIAL ARTIST ONE-SHOT WALKING DEAD #129 WASTELAND #56 WINTER SOLDIER BITTER MARCH #5 (OF 5) WOLVERINE #10 WORLDS FINEST #25 X #15 X-FORCE #7

Books/Mags/Things ABE SAPIEN TP VOL 04 SHAPE THINGS TO COME BATMAN BRUCE WAYNE FUGITIVE TP NEW ED CHRONICLES OF CONAN TP VOL 27 SANDS UPON EARTH GEORGE RR MARTIN SKIN TRADE TP GUARDIANS OF GALAXY BY JIM VALENTINO TP VOL 02 HILDA & BLACK HOUND GN JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA TP VOL 01 DANGEROUS (N52) NARUTO GN VOL 66 NIGHTWING TP VOL 04 SECOND CITY (N52) POKEMON ADVENTURES GN VOL 23 FIRERED LEAFGREEN RANMA 1/2 2IN1 TP VOL 03 ROCKET GIRL TP VOL 01 TIMES SQUARED SIMPSONS COMICS COLOSSAL COMPENDIUM TP VOL 02 STAR LORD TP GUARDIANS OF GALAXY STAR TREK TOYS BY PLAYMATES UNAUTH HANDBOOK UNITY TP VOL 02 TRAPPED BY WEBNET X-MEN TP BATTLE OF ATOM

As always, what do YOU think?

“There's Nothing WRONG WITH YOU That I Can't Fix..WITH MY TENTACLES!" COMICS! Sometimes Comics Are Like The Sponge And Must Go Porous!

In which I unwisely blurt out some words about a Spongebob comic. If yesterday's ridiculous farrago is any indication it will in fact really be about Tarot's chest and largely entail me shouting like a crazy person about people misusing the land in front of my house. Or maybe I got my boat to float this time out. Altogether now, Kids..! By Chabot, Kochalka, HiFi & Comicraft

Anyway this...

SPONGEBOB COMICS ANNUAL-SIZE SUPER-GIANT SWIMTACULAR #2 Art by Israel Sanchez, Robert Leighton, Rick Neilsen, Jacob Chabot, Jose Delbo, Jay Lender, Nate Neal, R Sikoryak Written by James Kochalka, Mark Martin, Derek Drymon, Israel Sanchez, Jay Lender, Paul Karasik Coloured by HiFi, Glenn Whitmore, Mike DeVito Lettered by Comicraft United Plankton Pictures, $4.99 (2014) Spongebob created by Stephen Hillenburg

Cover by Israel Sanchez, logo by David Coulson

Comedy, like death, is no respecter of age and so like most comics, or water logged sponges, aimed squarely at the faces of children this also spatters adults; yes, both I and The Boy liked it Now, admittedly, I could be overestimating this comic’s worth for it was Spongebob Squarepants which finally dislodged such luminaries as Mr Tumble, The Wiggles and Bear in The Big Blue House from their positions of dominance in The Boy’s (and thus mine also, alas) televisual diet. As well intentioned and big hearted as infants’ television may be it is a fact that it soon reduces any adult mind to gruel. But once Spongebob Squarepants was on it was a mere hop, skip and a jump to Chowder and Flapjack before our minds finally slid to a stop in our current HD addled state of awe before Regular Show and Adventure Time. Me, I’m of a mind that such programmes seem to shame most adult shows but then my mind is probably still more than a little viscous. I have a lot of time for Spongebob Squarepants is what I’m getting at there. Even so this was still a neat little comic.

By Lender & DeVito

It’s a neat little comic because it’s made by people who know how to make comics and who clearly love comics. From the Super-Friends homage cover to the parodies of tropes and tat peddling ads inside there’s no doubt about a lack of love of the form on anyone's part. There is no such lack.The comic takes the form of a series of shorts set up by an intro in which the genially clear art by Jacob Chabot prevents the usual cloying nonsensicality of James Kochalka curdling on the page. Basically you’re reading a comic Spongebob is reading and although this illusion is somewhat spottily applied it is still applied well enough for you to get the gist. There’s a Mermaid Man tale in which Barnacle Boy swaps minds with a seahorse due to their both having been struck by Undersea Lightning (The rarest Lightning of all!) and confusion ensues. Should you not find the idea of underwater lightning, or even just the words Mermaid Man, slightly amusing then Jose Delbo and Derek Drymon’s well-turned tale will leave you as cold as the corpse you clearly are. There’s an Imaginary Story (because after all…) in which the grim’n’gritty is lampooned ludicrously and Jay Lender pushes comedy invention really hard in the small of its back by giving Spongebob a different costumed get-up in every panel. Alas, Israel Sanchez' effort revolving largely around excesses of ooze and gloop was more to The Boy’s taste than mine but it was to someone’s taste and even I liked it fine, it just didn’t shine. And then the book ends so strong it could well juggle boulders.

By Sikoryak & Karasik

Because get this, this comic, a children’s comic, ends with a mash up of Spongebob Squarepants and Fletcher Hanks’ Stardust executed by R Sikoryak and Paul Karasik. that’s right, R SIKORYAK! It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever, to steal from Keats (because I’m sure he’d agree were he to have read this comic.) Ah, it’s crazy and it’s beautiful is what it is. Obviously, and also tragically, you are not me so you might disagree on the merits of each of the episodes but even so humours remain high throughout thanks to Robert Leighton & Mark Martin. They scatter throughout a series of fake adverts which successfully riff on all those near illegally misleading exhortations for ridiculous junk you spent a Hell of a lot longer daydreaming about than you ever did revising for the exams which would shape your future. And by you I mean me. And those misplaced priorities more than anything might explain why a middle aged man is sitting here extolling the virtues of a comic about an exuberantly stupid talking sponge. However, I prefer to think it is because Spongebob Comics Annual-Size Super-Giant Spectacular #2 is VERY GOOD! Well, I would prefer to think that wouldn’t I?

By Martin & Leighton

And remember: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? COMICS!!!

"HER AG-GRES-SIVE-NESS DOES NOT/COM-PRO-MISE HER FEM-I-NIN-ITY" COMICS! Sometimes Everyone Was Robot Fighting (Those Kicks Were Fast As Lightning)!

America! How's that 4th of July Weekend thing going for you? Man, Canada just touches itself for one day but you lot take a whole weekend! Always fireworks on the4th of July as Max Cady said. Hope you all had a truly lovely time even though you are basically breaking our balls over here. No hard feelings! Here's some words about comics. Hey, Magnus, can you guess which I liked best?

Nope. Anyway, this... MAGNUS ROBOT FIGHTER #1 thru 3 Art by Cory Smith Written by Fed Van Lente Coloured by Mauricio Wallace Lettered by Marshall Dillon Magnus Robot Fighter created by Russ Manning Dynamite, $3.99 (2014) (After a couple of weeks it's $1.99 on the Dark Horse Digital App)

It’s the man in the skirt who lays down the hurt! It’s Magnus: Robot Fighter! Apparently this is one of a number of old Gold Key properties Dynamite are slapping on the table, applying the creative juice to and then stepping back and yelling “CLEAR!” to see if enough folk give a chuff in the 21st Century; which is where we live now, apparently. Boy, you just blink and there go two decades. Anyway, as you have guessed I only bought this because I am old and cannot cope with modern comics and ceaselessly seek succour via nostalgia.  Yeah, guess again, Pop Tarts; I don’t know anything about Gold Key properties because we never saw them in my neck of the woods. Back then depending on where you were in England you got different American comics. The seaside had the best stuff, or different stuff (and when you’re a kid the stuff you can’t normally get is the best stuff). I don’t know where the Gold Key stuff went, Sidcup perhaps. I’ve never been to Sidcup. Or me. So, yes, comics, John; in your own time now. I just bought this, um,  because at my age buying a comic sight unseen is the height of profligate recklessness. I didn’t know what I was going to get so I wasn’t expecting much, just some dude called Magnus and some robot fighting and, yea verily, I got that but I got a chunk more besides. And that’s why I went back for the next issue. And the next.

Sure, the first issue was just(!) solid; sure the first issue went exactly where you instinctively knew it would as soon as you saw the snow globe on the first page; sure younger readers would have been thinking of The Matrix and older readers would have been thinking of Philip K Dick and some would even have thought of Plato’s Cave, but they would have been dead for centuries so I don’t know what they’d be doing buying comics in the 21st Century. With the initial issue it was easy to take the writing for granted and just be bewitched by the  lovely art and colours. Yes, I actually appreciated Mauricio Wallace's colours, although they were so clearly appealing you’d have to actually exert energy to avoid appreciating them. Lovely, lovely colours all soft and alluring where needed and harsh when required but never, never settling for that uniformly gloss glare so common now.  And the art by Corey Smith is just aces (technical term). Absolutely gorgeous work which like the colours never sticks to a one note approach but varies the register of its approach as the mutable contents it depicts require. Corey Smith is playing a blinder here, and it's a shame because I bet a lot of eyes aren't pointing in this direction. Well, your eyes lose then!

Like I rambled already there’s not a lot that leaps out and throttles you in the first issue; it sets out the premise smoothly and succinctly with a twist or two for spice, and you think the series' tone has largely been set. And you're...wrong, in an entirely pleasing way. Because bewilderingly, but not unpleasantly so, the second issue decides to be a buddy comedy with a particularly pointed kick at the slightly ethnic sidekick trope to boot. Magnus picks up a robo-sidekick who's personality is an explicitly terrible example of the movie comedic sidekick who is also a Gentleman of Colour, as my late Grandma said. (This is different to a Colourful Gentleman who would be a man who likes other men in a romantic way.) In the third issue the team up the ante so hard your uncle slaps her right there at the family dinner table and  you can hear a pin drop. This was my favourite of the three issues since it just draws a big old clown face on all those pandertastic comics featuring damaged ladies who become strong and which believe women are only of interest if they are kick boxing lumps of scar tissue with nice hair who have sexytimes on their own terms. Yes, some ladies like that and that’s great but, c’mon, the real appeal is to the boys. When I show my own Prisoner of Misogyny these Ladyspy and Sad Killer comics the first thing she asks even before her eyes stop rolling is, “Is she damaged? Oh please, let her be damaged!”  And the answer is yes, the answer is always: yes she’s damaged.  With all the change-ups and change-overs in just three issues if I were a high-faluting type I'd maybe say the comic was a bit meta, a bit post modern, but I don't think anyone uses those words with enough rigour for them to mean much these days, so let's say Magnus: Robot Fighter is playful and leave it at that. Sure, there is a downside to all this creative flexibility and that comes in the form of a lack of focus and a kind of failure to define Magnus himself. I don’t really know what Magnus is after, he just sort of wanders about fighting robots and looking pensive. But there's time yet and I'd rather applaud the display of creative facility than prate about a lack of character depth in a man who fights robots.

I liked this, I liked every issue and with each issue I liked it more. For a few pennies I found a satisfyingly weird and beautifully illustrated comic which, yes, seems to be less about robot fighting than Lazy Comic Trope Fighting. And, perhaps, clichés are more dangerous to Comics than robots. Perhaps Magnus has a point after all. C'mon! Magnus: Cliché Fighter! How can that not be GOOD!

SOUTHERN BASTARDS #1 and 2 Art by Jason Latour Written by Jason Aaron Colour by Jason Latour Lettered by Jared K Fletcher Southern Bastards created Aaron & Latour Image $3.50 (2014)

I thought this book was beautiful, let's get that out there before things go South. Latour's subdued sepia palette of largely orange and khaki with the odd pop of a more violent hue is just a real deep fried delight. And then that's laid softly over some truly solid gnarliness giving everything a real sense of weight and wear and tear, and the whole thing hovers a gnat's pube from caricature. But the thing itself? I mean, shit, I guess what we have her is...a failure to communicate. Because I didn't cotton none to this at all. I mean, Jesus, really? That’s what we’ve got now? East Bound And Down played straight. Hell, look at you out there; chances are you think you’re special but no matter how special you reckon you are you ain’t Southern Special because that’s a whole ‘nother level of Special right there,  “boy”. Golly, The South sure is special! I’ve never been anywhere near close to The South and all the moth eaten tropes on these pages are as familiar to me as the back of my Dad’s hand (ow! Yes, there are Daddy Issues in this comic). This comic is The South as Theme Park. The South as Postcard Punk. If that's the The Southern Truth then that's plain Southern Sad.

Slightly after the ostentatiously provocative title (Oooh! A doity woid!) the book opens with a double page splash of a dog slipping a turd out which I guess is supposed to shock or something. The South! A place so hard that dogs poop in public! Look, The South, I don’t want to deflate your ballsy balloon but If you look out my front window ten minutes after Eastenders finishes you’ll see a middle aged man with grey hair walk his dog out onto the bit of land out front of my window. And regular as clockwork a big old turd slides out of that beast’s ass and, no, standing with your back to your dog while it does its business doesn’t convince me you don’t know what’s going on, Mr. Man From Round The Corner. So, illegal dog drops ain’t just a Southern thang, I assure you. Interestingly there’s also a tree on that patch of regularly befouled grass but I don’t think it’s growing out of anyone’s ass like the one in this book. (His Daddy's ass! Yes, there are Daddy issues by the pound here) A crueller man than I might say there’s a case to be made that his book is growing out of somebody’s ass.

Oh, technically it’s fine, I guess, if fine means very much a screenplay first and a comic script second which these days is very much what fine means. It’s very televisual. It just sort of lollops about like an ex-pro with a bum knee trying to get to the likker store before it shuts. And you know that while on the screen none of these scenes would outstay their welcome (not so much because of the scintillating script but because Southern actors are always entertaining in the flesh) but on the page they can verge on the interminable. The centrepiece of issue two is a Football game, sorry, an American Football game (why is it called American Football when they barely ever touch the ball with their feet? American Carryball more like it) and it just flounders about like everyone should just naturally give a shit rather than actually making anyone give a shit. Sure, there's Craft here in the writing but there's Art in the colours and, uh, art. It's an uneven mix.

It’s a pretty sorry state of affairs all round if you're reaching for the Mythic and finding a battered VHS of Walking Tall in your mitt. This book is just a clueless monument to swaggering self pity of a particularly male stripe. And I've seen it before and I've read it before and the only reason I'm reading it this time is because of Jason Latour. If it wasn't for Jason Latour this would just be that Trace Adkins Luke McBain comic all over again and no would give one rich shit. Sorry and all, but I don't buy for one hot second that The South is stuck in 1974 like a dino in a tar pit. No, I don't know The South from a hole in the ground but I do credit it with more than that. More than just another comic about men behaving badly but feeling bad about it so boo hoo them. Beat me with a hosepipe if I'm wrong but I think, maybe, to show The South Today I reckon this book need a bit less Walking Tall and a bit more Looking Harder. Basically, if it wasn't for Jason Latour this comic would be two levels down from GOOD! Harsh words maybe, but they can take it; they're Southern Tough!

And remember: Any man playing grab ass or fightin' in the building spends the night reading - COMICS!!!

Comix Experience Best Sellers: First half of 2014, Books

OK, same thing as the last post, except this time we’ll talk about BOOKS. Again, after the jump for those of you who don’t want to read sales charts!

Right, so Experience is the Big Book Store, with 55% of sales coming from Book Format material between 1/1 and 6/30 2014.  Outpost is only 23% books.

Here’s what Experience’s Top 100 (or so) looks like, sorted by PIECES SOLD:

1    SAGA TP VOL 01 2    SAGA TP VOL 03 3    SAGA TP VOL 02 4    SEX CRIMINALS TP VOL 01 5    EAST OF WEST TP VOL 01 THE PROMISE 6    MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 01 SCIENCE BAD NOWHERE MEN TP VOL 01 FATES WORSE THAN DEATH WALKING DEAD TP VOL 20 ALL OUT WAR PT 1 9    PROPHET TP VOL 03 EMPIRE ZERO TP VOL 01 AN EMERGENCY 11    EAST OF WEST TP VOL 02 WE ARE ALL ONE 12    HAWKEYE TP VOL 01 MY LIFE AS A WEAPON PROPHET TP VOL 01 REMISSION 14    SANDMAN TP VOL 01 PRELUDES & NOCTURNES NEW ED 15    BATTLING BOY SC GN VOL 01 BLACK SCIENCE TP VOL 01 HOW TO FALL FOREVER 17    NEMO ROSES OF BERLIN HC 18    PRETTY DEADLY TP VOL 01 19    PROPHET TP VOL 02 BROTHERS 20    LOCKE & KEY HC VOL 06 ALPHA & OMEGA 21    HAWKEYE TP VOL 02 LITTLE HITS NOW 22    MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 02 23    MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 03 24    FATALE TP VOL 01 DEATH CHASES ME MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 04 FOUR DISCIPLINES OGLAF BOOK ONE 27    ADVENTURE TIME ORIGINAL GN VOL 03 SEEING RED BONE COLOR ED SC VOL 01 OUT FROM BONEVILLE COMPLETE MULTIPLE WARHEADS TP MANIFEST DESTINY TP VOL 01 WALKING DEAD TP VOL 19 MARCH TO WAR Y THE LAST MAN TP VOL 01 UNMANNED 33    BATMAN THE KILLING JOKE SPECIAL ED HC FABLES TP VOL 19 SNOW WHITE RAT QUEENS TP VOL 01 SASS & SORCERY STRAY BULLETS UBER ALLES VADERS LITTLE PRINCESS HC WALKING DEAD TP VOL 01 DAYS GONE BYE 39    ADVENTURE TIME TP VOL 01 AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE TP VOL 01 ESCAPE FROM RIVERDALE PX ED AVATAR LAST AIRBENDER TP VOL 07 RIFT PART 1 BATMAN TP VOL 01 THE COURT OF OWLS BPRD HELL ON EARTH TP VOL 07 A COLD DAY IN HELL FATALE TP VOL 04 PRAY FOR RAIN JEFFREY BROWN KIDS ARE WEIRD OBSERVATIONS FROM PARENTHOOD HC NINJAGO GN VOL 09 V FOR VENDETTA NEW EDITION TP (MR) VELVET TP VOL 01 BEFORE THE LIVING END WATCHMEN TP 50    AVENGERS VS X-MEN TP BATMAN DARK KNIGHT RETURNS TP BATMAN YEAR ONE DELUXE SC BLUE IS WARMEST COLOR GN CHEW TP VOL 08 FAMILY RECIPES CHI SWEET HOME GN VOL 01 HELLBOY IN HELL TP VOL 01 DESCENT LOCKE & KEY TP VOL 01 WELCOME TO LOVECRAFT LOEG III CENTURY #1 1910 NAO OF BROWN GN NINJAGO GN VOL 08 DESTINY OF DOOM SANDMAN TP VOL 02 THE DOLLS HOUSE NEW ED SANDMAN TP VOL 04 SEASON OF MISTS NEW ED SWAMP THING BY BRIAN K VAUGHAN TP VOL 01 UNWRITTEN TP VOL 08 ORPHEUS IN THE UNDERWORLDS 65    BARTKIRA BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS HC BPRD HELL ON EARTH TP VOL 08 DAYTRIPPER TP FABLES TP VOL 01 LEGENDS IN EXILE NEW ED HYPERBOLE AND A HALF SC LOVE BUNGLERS HC OATMEAL HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CAT IS PLOTTING TO KILL YOU PREACHER TP BOOK 01 PREACHER TP BOOK 02 PRISON PIT GN VOL 05 SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING TP BOOK 01 SATELLITE SAM TP VOL 01 SERENITY HC VOL 02 BETTER DAYS & OTHER STORIES SILVER SURFER BY STAN LEE AND MOEBIUS STAR WARS JEDI ACADEMY YR HC VOL 01 X-MEN DAYS OF FUTURE PAST TP NEW PTG Y THE LAST MAN TP VOL 02 CYCLES (OCT058281) (MR) 83    ADVENTURE TIME TP VOL 04 ATTACK ON TITAN GN VOL 01 GUARDIANS OF GALAXY TP VOL 01 COSMIC AVENGERS HABIBI GN HELLBOY TP VOL 01 SEED OF DESTRUCTION LOBSTER JOHNSON TP VOL 03 SATAN SMELLS A RAT MY FRIEND DAHMER SC OATMEAL 5 VERY GOOD REASONS TO PUNCH DOLPHIN SC POWERS BUREAU TP VOL 01 UNDERCOVER SANDMAN TP VOL 05 A GAME OF YOU NEW ED SERENITY HC VOL 01 THOSE LEFT BEHIND 2ND ED STITCHES GN TRANSMETROPOLITAN TP VOL 01 BACK ON THE STREET VERY CASUAL 97    47 RONIN HC ADVENTURE TIME ENCYCLOPEDIA HC ALONE FOREVER GN AMERICAN VAMPIRE TP VOL 01 AMULET SC VOL 01 STONEKEEPER BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL TP VOL 28 RAINING CHAOS BLANKETS GN NEW PTG BOXERS & SAINTS BOXED SET CELEBRATED SUMMER GN DARTH VADER AND SON HC DEATH NOTE BLACK TP VOL 01 (OF 6) FATALE TP VOL 02 DEVILS BUSINESS HEDGE KNIGHT JET CITY ED TP INCAL CLASSIC COLLECTION HC KING CITY TP LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN OMNIBUS TP LOEG III CENTURY #3 2009 MARVEL 1602 TP NEW PTG MIND MGMT HC VOL 01 MANAGER NEIL GAIMAN AMERICAN GODS MMPB NINJAGO GN VOL 01 CHALLENGE OF SAMUKAI ORC STAIN TP VOL 01 RELISH MY LIFE IN KITCHEN GN REVIVAL TP VOL 03 A FARAWAY PLACE RICHARD STARKS PARKER SLAYGROUND HC SANDMAN TP VOL 03 DREAM COUNTRY NEW ED SANDMAN TP VOL 06 FABLES AND REFLECTIONS NEW ED SUPERMAN RED SON TP (NOV058130) WALKING DEAD COMPENDIUM TP VOL 01 WEIRDO YEARS 1981-1993 HC

Can I just say that I very very very much enjoy owning a comic book store with this kind of range and diversity?  For I do! SAGA v1 is still selling, some 18 months after its initial release something very close to a copy a day.  That’s…. well, it’s kind of unprecedented, really.

Still, one game you could play at home is: “How many of these best-sellers are not actually in print at this moment?” It isn’t QUITE double digits, but it’s kind of close….

Sort it by dollars, and it changes a lot, and here you can really see what price points can do for the bottom line – clearly, you have to sell far fewer $60 books than $9.99 books to make the more money…

1    SAGA TP VOL 03     $14.99 2    SAGA TP VOL 01     $9.99 3    SAGA TP VOL 02     $14.99 4    STRAY BULLETS UBER ALLES     $59.99 5    SEX CRIMINALS TP VOL 01     $9.99 6    LOCKE & KEY HC VOL 06 ALPHA & OMEGA     $29.99 7    SANDMAN TP VOL 01 PRELUDES & NOCTURNES NEW ED     $19.99 8    MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 01 SCIENCE BAD     $14.99 9    HAWKEYE TP VOL 01 MY LIFE AS A WEAPON     $16.99 10    WALKING DEAD TP VOL 20 ALL OUT WAR PT 1     $14.99 11    PROPHET TP VOL 03 EMPIRE     $14.99 12    EAST OF WEST TP VOL 01 THE PROMISE     $9.99 13    SANDMAN SLIPCASE SET     $199.99 14    EAST OF WEST TP VOL 02 WE ARE ALL ONE     $14.99 15    BATTLING BOY SC GN VOL 01     $15.99 16    WALKING DEAD COMPENDIUM TP VOL 01     $59.99 17    AVENGERS VS X-MEN TP     $34.99 18    NEMO ROSES OF BERLIN HC     $14.95 19    BEST OF EC ARTIST ED HC     $150.00 20    METABARONS ULTIMATE COLL ED     $59.95 21    NOWHERE MEN TP VOL 01 FATES WORSE THAN DEATH     $9.99 22    ZERO TP VOL 01 AN EMERGENCY     $9.99 23    HAWKEYE TP VOL 02 LITTLE HITS NOW     $16.99 24    JACK KIRBY NEW GODS ARTIST ED HC     $140.00 25    PROPHET TP VOL 02 BROTHERS     $14.99 26    INCAL CLASSIC COLLECTION HC     $44.95 27    HABIBI GN     $37.50 28    PROPHET TP VOL 01 REMISSION     $9.99 29    OGLAF BOOK ONE     $18.99 30    JOHN ROMITA AMAZING SPIDER-MAN ARTIST ED HC VOL 02     $135.00 31    MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 02     $14.99 32    NAO OF BROWN GN     $24.95 33    BLACK SCIENCE TP VOL 01 HOW TO FALL FOREVER     $9.99 34    BOXERS & SAINTS BOXED SET     $34.99 35    MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 03     $14.99 36    V FOR VENDETTA NEW EDITION TP (MR)     $19.99 WATCHMEN TP     $19.99 38    BATMAN THE KILLING JOKE SPECIAL ED HC     $17.99 39    COMPLETE MULTIPLE WARHEADS TP     $17.99 40    FATALE TP VOL 01 DEATH CHASES ME     $14.99 41    FABLES TP VOL 19 SNOW WHITE     $16.99 42    PRETTY DEADLY TP VOL 01     $9.99 43    DISTRICT 14 HC SEASON 02     $39.95 44    WALKING DEAD COMPENDIUM TP VOL 02     $59.99 45    LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN OMNIBUS TP     $29.99 46    BATMAN DARK KNIGHT RETURNS TP     $19.99 LOCKE & KEY TP VOL 01 WELCOME TO LOVECRAFT     $19.99 SANDMAN TP VOL 02 THE DOLLS HOUSE NEW ED     $19.99 SANDMAN TP VOL 04 SEASON OF MISTS NEW ED     $19.99 50    AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE TP VOL 01 ESCAPE FROM RIVERDALE PX ED     $17.99 51    MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 04 FOUR DISCIPLINES     $14.99 WALKING DEAD TP VOL 19 MARCH TO WAR     $14.99 Y THE LAST MAN TP VOL 01 UNMANNED     $14.99 54    BLANKETS GN NEW PTG     $29.95 WEIRDO YEARS 1981-1993 HC     $29.95 56    BLUE IS WARMEST COLOR GN     $19.95 57    BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS HC     $22.95 58    FROM HELL TP     $35.00 59    BPRD HELL ON EARTH TP VOL 07 A COLD DAY IN HELL     $19.99 SWAMP THING BY BRIAN K VAUGHAN TP VOL 01     $19.99 61    BATMAN TP VOL 01 THE COURT OF OWLS     $16.99 62    FINAL INCAL DLX ED HC     $99.95 63    WALKING DEAD TP VOL 01 DAYS GONE BYE     $14.99 64    AVATAR LAST AIRBENDER PROMISE LIBRARY ED HC     $39.99 AVATAR LAST AIRBENDER SEARCH LIBRARY ED HC     $39.99 66    DAYTRIPPER TP     $19.99 67    PREACHER TP BOOK 01     $19.99 PREACHER TP BOOK 02     $19.99 SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING TP BOOK 01     $19.99 SERENITY HC VOL 02 BETTER DAYS & OTHER STORIES     $19.99 X-MEN DAYS OF FUTURE PAST TP NEW PTG     $19.99 72    VADERS LITTLE PRINCESS HC     $14.95 73    BONE COLOR ED SC VOL 01 OUT FROM BONEVILLE     $12.99 74    UNWRITTEN TP VOL 08 ORPHEUS IN THE UNDERWORLDS     $16.99 75    LOVE BUNGLERS HC     $19.99 76    INFINITY HC     $75.00 INVISIBLES OMNIBUS HC     $150.00 78    SUPERMAN GOLDEN AGE SUNDAYS 1943-1946 HC     $49.99 79    WOLVERINE OLD MAN LOGAN TP     $29.99 Y THE LAST MAN DELUXE EDITION HC VOL 02     $29.99 81    ADVENTURE TIME TP VOL 01     $14.99 82    HYPERBOLE AND A HALF SC     $17.99 83    GUARDIANS OF GALAXY TP VOL 01 COSMIC AVENGERS     $19.99 POWERS BUREAU TP VOL 01 UNDERCOVER     $19.99 SANDMAN TP VOL 05 A GAME OF YOU NEW ED     $19.99 86    ADVENTURE TIME ORIGINAL GN VOL 03 SEEING RED     $11.99 87    HELLBOY IN HELL TP VOL 01 DESCENT     $17.99 88    BATMAN YEAR ONE DELUXE SC     $14.99 FATALE TP VOL 04 PRAY FOR RAIN     $14.99 90    BEFORE THE INCAL CLASS COLL HC     $44.95 91    BPRD HELL ON EARTH TP VOL 08     $19.99 92    METABARONS GENESIS CASTAKA DLX HC     $49.95 93    JEFFREY BROWN KIDS ARE WEIRD OBSERVATIONS FROM PARENTHOOD HC     $14.95 94    INVINCIBLE COMPENDIUM TP VOL 02     $64.99 95    HELLBOY TP VOL 01 SEED OF DESTRUCTION     $17.99 96    MY FRIEND DAHMER SC     $17.95 97    CHI SWEET HOME GN VOL 01     $13.95 98    AKIRA KODANSHA ED GN VOL 01     $24.99 BATMAN HUSH COMPLETE TP     $24.99 100    MOUSE GUARD HC VOL 03 BLACK AXE     $24.95 ************************************************************************

Meanwhile, across The City at Outpost, here is what they look like – but at the end of the day, this is just a tiny fraction of the main store…. So far.  The top is about 1/5th, while anything under #62 wouldn’t have even made the sales chart from Experience (that’s like 3 copies here, which is lower for now – but I’m building the section and selection) the top 25 are meaningful and profitable numbers, however.

1    SAGA TP VOL 03 2    SAGA TP VOL 01 3    NOWHERE MEN TP VOL 01 FATES WORSE THAN DEATH 4    SAGA TP VOL 02 5    WALKING DEAD TP VOL 20 ALL OUT WAR PT 1 6    WALKING DEAD TP VOL 01 DAYS GONE BYE WALKING DEAD TP VOL 19 MARCH TO WAR 8    SEX CRIMINALS TP VOL 01 9    ADVENTURE TIME TP VOL 01 AVATAR LAST AIRBENDER TP VOL 07 RIFT PART 1 BATMAN THE KILLING JOKE SPECIAL ED HC 12    DARTH VADER AND SON HC SANDMAN TP VOL 01 PRELUDES & NOCTURNES NEW ED 14    BATMAN TP VOL 01 THE COURT OF OWLS RAT QUEENS TP VOL 01 SASS & SORCERY SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN TP VOL 01 MY OWN WORST ENEMY NOW 17    BATMAN THE LONG HALLOWEEN TP NEW ED BATMAN TP VOL 02 THE CITY OF OWLS BONE COLOR ED SC VOL 01 OUT FROM BONEVILLE CIVIL WAR TP DOCTOR WHO 11TH DOCTOR SONIC SCREWDRIVER BOOK KIT MMW X-MEN TP VOL 01 SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN TP VOL 02 TROUBLED MIND NOW WALKING DEAD TP VOL 02 MILES BEHIND US WALKING DEAD TP VOL 18 WHAT COMES AFTER 26    AVENGERS VS X-MEN TP BLACK SCIENCE TP VOL 01 HOW TO FALL FOREVER CENTURY WEST OGN CHEW TP VOL 01 EAST OF WEST TP VOL 01 THE PROMISE FATALE TP VOL 02 DEVILS BUSINESS JOKER DEATH OF THE FAMILY HC MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 01 SCIENCE BAD NEIL GAIMANS GOOD OMENS ($7.99 VERSION) PROPHET TP VOL 01 REMISSION R CRUMBS HEROES OF BLUES JAZZ & COUNTRY WITH CD HC WATCHMEN TP X-MEN DAYS OF FUTURE PAST TP X-MEN NO MORE HUMANS OGN HC 40    AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE TP VOL 01 ESCAPE FROM RIVERDALE PX ED AKIRA KODANSHA ED GN VOL 01 AVATAR LAST AIRBENDER TP VOL 06 SEARCH PART 3 BATMAN INCORPORATED TP DAREDEVIL BY MARK WAID TP VOL 01 DRAGON BALL FULL COLOR TP VOL 01 SAIYAN ARC FATALE TP VOL 03 WEST OF HELL GUARDIANS OF GALAXY TP VOL 01 COSMIC AVENGERS HAWKEYE TP VOL 01 MY LIFE AS A WEAPON HOBBIT TP MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 02 MY FRIEND DAHMER SC PRETTY DEADLY TP VOL 01 SAILOR MOON TP KODANSHA ED VOL 01 SIMPSONS COMICS TP VOL 14 JAM PACKED JAMBOREE JAM PACKED JAM SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN TP VOL 03 NO ESCAPE TANK GIRL REMASTERED ED TP VOL 01 (RES) (MR) (C: 0-1-2) VADERS LITTLE PRINCESS HC WALKING DEAD TP VOL 17 SOMETHING TO FEAR WOLVERINE OLD MAN LOGAN TP WONDER WOMAN TP VOL 01 BLOOD X-MEN DARK PHOENIX SAGA TP NEW PTG 62    ADVENTURE TIME ORIGINAL GN VOL 01 PLAYING FIRE ADVENTURE TIME ORIGINAL GN VOL 02 PIXEL PRINCESSES ADVENTURE TIME TP VOL 04 AKIRA KODANSHA ED GN VOL 02 ARE YOU MY MOTHER A COMIC DRAMA SC BATMAN HC VOL 03 DEATH OF THE FAMILY BATMAN HC VOL 04 ZERO YEAR SECRET CITY BATMAN HUSH COMPLETE TP BATMAN JUDGE DREDD FILES TP (JUL040672) (C: 1-0-0) BATMAN MAD LOVE AND OTHER STORIES TP BATMAN TP VOL 03 DEATH OF THE FAMILY BATMAN YEAR ONE DELUXE SC BATTLING BOY SC GN VOL 01 BIG NATE ALL WORK AND NO PLAY TP CHANGE TP DAREDEVIL BY BENDIS & MALEEV TP ULT COLL BOOK 01 DEADPOOL KILLS DEADPOOL TP DEADPOOL TP VOL 04  MONKEY BUSINESS DEATH NOTE BLACK TP VOL 01 (OF 6) DIARY OF A WIMPY KID HC VOL 08 HARD LUCK DRAMA GN DRINKING AT THE MOVIES SC EAST OF WEST TP VOL 02 WE ARE ALL ONE FABLES TP VOL 01 LEGENDS IN EXILE NEW ED FATALE TP VOL 01 DEATH CHASES ME FILTH TP GODZILLA HC GUARDIANS OF GALAXY PREM HC VOL 01 COSMIC AVENGERS NOW HARLEY QUINN PRELUDES AND KNOCK KNOCK JOKES TP HELLBLAZER TP VOL 01 ORIGINAL SINS NEW ED HULK WWH TP INFLUENCING MACHINE SC JOE THE BARBARIAN TP JOKER HC MANHATTAN PROJECTS TP VOL 03 MARVEL ZOMBIES TP COMPLETE COLLECTION VOL 01 METAL GEAR SOLID OMNIBUS TP MMW AMAZING SPIDER-MAN TP VOL 01 (NOV082434) NAO OF BROWN GN NEIL GAIMANS NEVERWHERE TP (NOV060304) (MR) NINJAGO GN VOL 07 STONE COLD ODYSSEY GN CANDLEWICK ED PRINCELESS TP VOL 01 NEW PTG PYONGYANG A JOURNEY IN NORTH KOREA TP SATELLITE SAM TP VOL 01 SIEGE TP SMILE SC NEW PTG STAR WARS ADV TP VOL 01 HAN SOLO & HOLLOW MOON OF KHORYA STAR WARS CRIMSON EMPIRE SAGA HC SUPER FRIENDS HEAD OF THE CLASS TP SUPERGIRL COSMIC ADVENTURES IN THE EIGHTH GRADE TP THOR MIGHTY AVENGER TP COMPLETE COLLECTION TINY TITANS TP VOL 01 WELCOME TO THE TREEHOUSE (NOV080197) TINY TITANS TP VOL 02 ADVENTURES IN AWESOMENESS TINY TITANS TP VOL 08 AW YEAH TITANS TOKYO ON FOOT V FOR VENDETTA BOOK AND MASK SET WALKING DEAD COMPENDIUM TP VOL 02 YOUNG AVENGERS TP VOL 01 STYLE SUBSTANCE NOW

It is still early over at Outpost for Book Format work (I was flatly told “Outpost can’t sell Graphic Novels” – but it is almost a quarter of business), but I’m pretty much OK with what we’ve done so far.  These numbers will climb as the stock level increases, and as people come to understand that we’re supporting the category on the south side of town.  But look: a lot of the same trends are there: smart genre comics for adults, strong kids comics, they sell at both stores.

I’m not going to do a mix chart because, frankly, Outpost’s numbers don’t change Experience’s placements by any significant amount because there’s just that much of a difference in scale.  Maybe at the year-end report?

That’s how two comic stores look to me at the moment; what do you think?

-B