November 14 Exhausts Johanna

This is a really busy week, especially for DC books, which means too much to get distracted by. In another week, I might have tried Wonder Girl again, but I had two other comics with the Amazons I expected to like more. (Plus, I'm not interested in either New Gods or the goofy art.) I like Blue Beetle ok, but a "Sinestro Corps War" banner gives me a good excuse to skip this month. I'm looking for reasons not to get comics in order to keep numbers manageable. (This is why publishers should better manage their overall schedules to smooth out weeks, which would be better for readers and retailers, but that seems to be beyond them.)

Captain Marvel #1 -- I don't want to read about a steroid freak with a mullet. Especially one back from the dead, and one known best for his method of death. Too many superheroes already, and too much event escalation. Ignoring death only makes that worse.

X-Factor #25 -- I used to enjoy this series a great deal, and then it became crossover central. Now I don't read it any more. But others do, apparently. Good for them -- I hope they enjoy it as much as I used to.

Nightwing #138 -- Why is he throttling Vampirella in a black costume on the cover? (flip flip) Oh, apparently she's called Dragonfly, and inside, her costume actually has sides. So, artistic exaggeration. Or lack of inspiration.

Batman and the Outsiders #1 -- I used to like this book, back in the 80s, but I'm leery of Chuck Dixon these days, so pass.

Salvation Run #1 -- Why would I want to read a comic about a whole bunch of villains on another planet? The setting makes it much too easy for the writer to pull things out of his pants to take the story in whatever direction he wants. And a bunch of bad people fighting with each other... I get that every night during election season.

No, seriously, why does this book exist? And why would someone want it?

Green Arrow/Black Canary #2 -- I am SUCH a Cliff Chiang fangirl. He can do no wrong, and the regal Hippolyta on the first page of this Themyscira-set issue just confirms it. And the naked Green Arrow trying to escape from his captors is a definite eye-catcher.

Black Canary and ... what's the former-hooker sidekick's name? She's written with Judd Winick's typical subtlety, barely setting foot on the island before she's shouting about her previous profession and her HIV status, insulting her hosts, and causing Black Canary to fight with those who invited her. So I think I'll spend more time on the pictures. The story is obvious when it's not offensive, but it's sure pretty.

Wonder Woman #14 -- Is this Gail Simone's first issue? The DC website says it was last issue, but the way they juggle contents these days, I think it got shifted to this one. Diana winds up adopting some gorilla warriors as houseguests and waxing rhapsodically about cake. I'm most excited by the reintroduction of Lt. Colonel Candy, who's set against Wonder Woman.

This one's an okay read, but the art is typical "let me pause during battle to make sure you can see my butt and breast at the same time" pinup stuff. I would expect nothing else from the Dodsons. Simone and Chiang... I can dream, but until then, I have two books that make me say "but... if only..." instead of one I can adore.

Welcome to Tranquility #12 -- Did you know this was the final issue? I blame the zombies. I liked the "town of old superheroes" concept until that point. I found this installment incoherent, trying to wrap too much together and too many characters to keep track of. But I hadn't been paying attention for previous issues, either. Again, zombies. Don't care.

Oh yes, there will be blood

COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS #24: First, it's the Sensational Character Find of 2007, the Jokester, who comes out as being sorta interesting, then is unceremoniously killed a week later, and now Earth-15, the "If Only" world where the sidekicks grew up to become their mentors -- really, the only of the (new) multi-earths that I liked. Superb...er, MAN-"prime", fresh from his well-I-guess-we-know-how-that-turns-out Sinestro Corps storyline (and, really, is it just me, or does it feel like someone in DC editorial is upset that Sinestro Corps hit with the audience, and COUNTDOWN didn't, and is actively trying to undermine it? They can't be THAT petty, can they?) decides to kill everyone and everything on that earth, in about the most gruesome ways possible. I mean, seriously, do we really need to see a pregnant woman get a spear through her belly in "the spine of the DC universe"? Really? The craziest part is that, other than that, this is even a less interesting issue of COUNTDOWN than usual -- and given how low their standards have been until now that's kind of saying something. What else happens this issue? Last issue's possibly intriguing scenario of Firestorm being taken over by Desaad is undone in almost the least possibly interesting way, and Mary Marvel, rather than being in Darkseid's grip.... isn't. Wow. That's it.

Man, this is just plain CRAP.

I just don't get DC editorial this decade...

TITANS EAST SPECIAL: Weirdly, Judd Winick seems to not to get the New Teen Titans at all -- I say "weirdly" because he's of the right age for them to be a primary influence, but the whole opening section of the book featuring them at their glory point is astonishingly badly voiced. I know its favorable to bash on Judd as a weak writer, but I've always had a great deal of affection for the man, so how badly bungled this was (down to the visible leg hair on Dick Grayson's short-pants Robin) really hit me hard. Jerking away from that travesty, we switch to Vic Stone in the present Trying to Get The Band Back Together, then switching over the B-List Titan brigade when no one wants to. Vic apparently didn't read the cover blurb which asks us "which one will die?" (hooray for selling points!), and then we're treating to a bunch on b-listers dying horribly. Wow, now the Band Can Get Back Together.... for Revenge! Hooray!

This shit just makes me fucking sad. CRAP.

I really really don't get DC editorial this decade....

What did YOU think?

-B

First he jumped and then he looked: Graeme gets it together from 11/14

Weirdly enough, the arrival of SCOTT PILGRIM GETS IT TOGETHER reminds me of the arrival of Oasis' ill-fated third album, "Be Here Now" - Something that pop culture had collectively been holding its breath for while, at the same time, nurturing the backlash and secretly hoping for it to be a failure. Of course, the parallels fall apart when you consider that "Be Here Now" was an overblown, self-indulgent disaster fueled by cocaine and the uncomfortable love of Patsy Kensit, but nonetheless; it worked well enough to get me to a point where I can tell you that the fourth Scott Pilgrim book is Very Good indeed... if a little overblown and self-indulgent.

It's self-indulgent in the best ways, though; there're the video game logic and iconography, the wandering captions and everything else that you've come to expect from the series, but just... moreso than before, in some sense. It's a slower book, as well; the book comes with its own sense of ennui and overfamiliarity in those familiar tricks and cheats which seems fitting, considering that the book deals with Scott recognizing and moving on from his stalled life and onto lots of new somethings. In fact, for a book with a title about getting things together, a lot of the book seems to be about things falling apart - Friendships, relationships, and living situations. I wonder how much of that comes from O'Malley's own experience with this series in particular - Did he want to switch things up because we're midway through the series, or because he was getting frustrated with the way things were to date?

Nonetheless, things do get switched up, and towards the end, the book gains the momentum and energy that's been lacking earlier in time for a grand finale that's everything you wanted and more - Knowingly sentimental and romantic in such a way that still feels genuine and earned. On the way there, you get O'Malley's best art to date - much more confident than before, and in the final battle, bolder in his use of space and pacing - and some foreshadowing over Ramona's true intentions (Interesting dream sequence, there...) to pull you through to the next book, at least. It's very much a follow-on from the last book, which felt like a conclusion of something, in that it gives the character and series (and creator?) a new-found sense of direction, but also contains enough of what you liked before to satisfy that whole "what you wanted in the first place" thing.

But then again, I liked "Be Here Now," as well, so what do I know?

Abhay Rambles About Scalped and Criminal without the Benefit of a Clever Blog Post Title

So before Ye Old Comic-Book-Reviewing Internet folds onto itself like sexy origami over this week’s high-profile new releases, I want to slide one in about last week’s books. I’ve been busy so I haven’t really given this review the time or thought it deserves; it’s my busy season, but two of comics’ finer crime comics wrapped up their current long-running arcs last week, namely Scalped and Criminal. That shouldn’t go by without some note. I have that weakness as a critic of focusing on shiny, new doo-dads. First issues are just more fun to review, though. Spring has come! The circle of life has begun anew! But then issue #2 comes out—“Issue #2? What do you want, a fucking cookie, ya crumbum?”

Do other people suffer from that first-issue bias? I don’t know if that’s a problem for other people. Every time Iron Fist comes out, say, people sure seem happy to review it. Really, really happy. Maybe worryingly happy? “The doctors said I had testicular cancer, but you still make me feel like a whole man, Iron Fist” happy. I like Iron Fist— I just can’t get the juices flowing month after month after month. I just take it all for granted.

I blame my memory. The new issue of Scalped resolves a 6-part arc which recounted the events of a single day from the point of view of six different characters in the Scalped ensemble. The only problem? I can’t remember six months ago. I can’t remember five months ago. Four, three, two…? Last month was…? I just lost that ability to remember comics somewhere along the way. When I was a kid, I could remember a previous issue like I’d just read it, like I’d just had it in my hands, but those days are gone. The only way I could properly review Scalped #11 would be if I reread the arc.

And that would require genuine effort on my part… (shudder).

I’m not saying this as some obtuse argument about the advantage of trade collections over issues. Shit, I have problems with trades, too. They require something in even shorter supply than memory: they require an attention span. All that material, sitting there, waiting to be read; taunting me. I could wait for the trade of Criminal, but a couple pages in: “Oh, Criminal doesn’t know who he is. Sometimes, I don’t know who I am, too. Those people who say they’re women trapped in men’s bodies—is there a time limit on that? What if I realize that when I’m on my deathbed? I’ll be lying there saying, ‘Oh No, I’m going to die never having known what it’s like to look into my own vagina with a mirror.’ Oh that reminds me: I’m going to die. I’m going to die I’m going to die die I’m going to die.” And then I pee on myself. Wah!

Luckily, with the Scalped arc, my memory’s not been a real problem because each issue has its own merit. Each issue has been a complete story in and of itself concerning that issue’s focal character. It’s a scarily efficient machine of a book, that Scalped. Man…

The latest issue—let me just talk about a single panel of that actually: the last panel of Page 19 (counting the ads). The last few pages have been an emotional conversation between an older woman visiting a man in prison. She’s guilty about him being in prison; if she had done the right thing way back when, he could have been a free man. During the scene, she’s overwhelmed by guilt, and he’s reassuring her. He’s made his peace with it. Then the scene ends and he leaves, and the last panel is a shot from behind her, of her alone hanging up the phone. But if you look at her legs, they’re tilted in this peculiar way. Both of her feet aren’t solid on the ground; one’s at an angle so when you look at it, you can tell her position is unstable. If she just leaned a scooch to the left, she’d just fall over right then and there. Without him there to keep her propped up, she’s just crumpled.

Did Jason Aaron write it like that in his script? Is that what artist R.M. Guera brings to it? Or is it neither of them: is it me and I’m just projecting onto some completely random panel?

I had the same memory problems with Criminal, but it was easier to follow thanks to an easier set-up: it’s a revenge thriller. Even then, in this last issue, in the climactic moments, this character pops up and says “Remember me?” Uhm.

I feel bad for comic creators. They work so hard, and here I am, and awww dude, I’m letting them down. Well, I don’t feel bad for Ed Brubaker because I know Newsarama holds him at night, and interviews him about Captain America until he falls into a gentle night’s sleep. I used to worry about how often Newsarama was interviewing Ed Brubaker about Captain America. Now, I’m starting to suspect that if Ed Brubaker took off his shirt, Newsarama would be on his belly like Kuato from Total Recall. Remember Kuato from fucking Total Recall? That Kuato dude was all fucked up.

Still, I’m letting Sean Phillips down anyways. Look how well he draws; that lovely and it still comes out clockwork. On a “rational” level, I know other artists need more time; everyone needs a different amount of time to achieve the best they can. With some people, you can’t rush creativity. On a rational level, I know that. But Sean Phillips’s stuff, I just look at that and say “Aww, the rest of you are just crumbums. You got no excuses, crumbums!” So… I guess what I’m trying to say is … Sean Phillips’s art makes me a worse person. Wait, no...

You know what’s improved about Criminal that's maybe gone unmentioned? The sex scenes. That’s what killed Sleeper for me—I know that was a favorite with y’all internet types, but not my book. Looking back on it, I think a big reason why were the sex scenes had this peculiar thing where they were each supposed to be transgressive and hot … but in my Swiss cheese memory, here’s how I remember each and every sex scene in Sleeper: “Then things got transgressive and hot, and we had sex in public where people could almost see us.” Which is … you know, it’s a kink. I’m not saying it’s not a kink. It’s Kinsey-approved. Kinsey says “Go for it, sport-o.” But then the next issue? “Things got transgressive and we had sex in public. Again.”

In what’s left of my memory? That happened every issue. Is that the case? I don’t know. Maybe that’s just another example of how bad my memory is. But the way I remember the premise of Sleeper is that it was a comic about two people enjoying their mutual love of risky public sex. Is that right? That doesn’t sound right.

The sex scene in Criminal—that bit with the snow? That was just a much more interesting scene to me. And I guess I just appreciated that they were in a bedroom and not in a men’s bathroom at Chuck-E-Cheese (damn you to hell, Kinsey).

Criminal is such a different book from Scalped in so many ways. I like Scalped because of how far it feels outside of genre trappings. The characters feel like people, not types; there are certain familiarities to its plot, but it doesn’t ring as formula. While Criminal, I like because of its genre trappings. It’s “bad guy versus worse guys.” If that’s a formula, well, that’s a formula I happen to like. It’s comfort food. Mac and Cheese. If Mac and Cheese had dead people in it. Mac and Cheese and dead people. They serve that at Campanile on Thursdays.

This arc’s been a “tough guy comes back to his hometown for revenge” thriller that just wrapped up in #10. And I enjoy it even though I don’t really find the story especially surprising or unexpected. It’s not especially a timely story; if anything, those moments in the finale where they do allude to a “Ripped from the Headlines” quality are my least favorite bits of the issue. They feel intrusive to me, and what they tell us about the lead character that the rest doesn’t—heck, Jog’s the one smart enough to figure out that stuff, not me.

Do you play that video game Grand Theft Auto? Has that, I don’t know, changed your relationship to this kind of story any? Criminal was fun, but how much better would it have been if Mr. Criminal had shot an old woman in the head, jacked a Sentinel, and drove it off a cliff while listening to Wham? I really liked this arc; I’m not trying to insult the book with that comparison. But… how do I put this… just that thing where things are this close to a genre, this close to a formula, where they all just kind of blend together in your head. But in a nice way. Is there a word for that? I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think that’s part of the fun of the comic. That’s something I like about Criminal. I like how the guy in Criminal reminds me of the guy in Point Blank who reminds me of… you know, lots.

I’m absolutely not saying that I think Criminal is derivative, to its detriment. It reminds me of other things I enjoyed, and that feeling of being reminded is itself part of my enjoyment of the book. Which… oh god, this is all starting to sound weird. It starts with me talking about this elaborate echo chamber I’m groping around senselessly trying to describe, and then somehow or another, a couple paragraphs later, I’ll be talking about how I want to dip my balls in one of those lotto machines—you know, the lotto machine on TV where the balls shoot out of the tubes and show you the lotto numbers? There’ll be a whole paragraph of me eager to teabag the Powerball machine because that’s sort of an echo, too, or whatever. That’s how I see this going down if I keep going down this line of thinking. Let’s change the subject.

And, hey, I know what you’re saying. You’re saying “Which band was Wham again? Did they sing Dance Hall Days?” No, that was Wang Chung. Here are some Wham lyrics to refresh your memory:

I am never going to dance again guilty feet have got no rhythm though it is easy to pretend I know you’re not a fool That wasn’t such a good song. Still, guilty feet? Guilt, regret; they’re such different books on the surface but once you get under the engine of Scalped and Criminal, it’s all family and guilt and no-one-ever-gets-away. I enjoy how Scalped has gradually wrapped itself around a crime set in the past--- the book has more than one original sin that never gets wiped away for its characters. Criminal hints at similar terrain— a prior generation’s sins haunting the next. From what I remember, this arc of Scalped has been about characters desperate to escape their pasts; this last issue of the arc concludes that escape is impossible. Criminal charts that same nasty bit of geography.

Guilt, regret, crimes that don’t wash away, bad karma, shooting old women, blowing up cars, sex in public, Kuato, Wham, crumbums, that fucking-creepy man-vagina mirror-thing, old women crumpling—it’s peculiar, the things we’re entertained by. I have no explanation for it. Well, none that I can remember.

There's gonna be a loser and you know the next goal wins: Graeme finishes off 11/7.

Watch for the symmetry in the reviews below. I wish I could say that I planned to begin and end on the same franchise, but really, it was just a trick of that goddamned alphabet...

ASTONISHING X-MEN #23: You know, that flashback where a scene from the previous issue is revisited, but this time you get to find out what really happened, would have worked much better if I had remembered that it was, in fact, a scene from the previous issue and not just a randomly double-lettered couple of pages. Of course, that would've meant that it would've had to have appeared in a timely manner, and that's not so likely with this book. Which is a shame; the dialogue is still enjoyable and John Cassaday brings the pretty, but no matter how Okay it is, almost all of the plot momentum is entirely gone by this point and it feels less like an event than an afterthought.

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: SEASON ZERO #3: The character moments are getting closer to those on the show, but the plot still feels far too generic without the interpersonal relationships between the core characters being as screwed up as they are by the time the show starts. Maybe there's just no interest in this world before their apocalyptic event, because I just don't really care that much about a prison break and Starbuck showing her ass to her comrades. Okay, but I want the Cylons back already.

COUNTDOWN SPECIAL: JIMMY OLSEN #1: And in less than eighty pages, Jack Kirby shows everyone how Jimmy Olsen stories should really be done - Fast, frantic and kind of dumb adventures with a boy who has no fear but just a lick of common sense. For all the unavoidable clunkiness in dialogue, these are comics that just sparkle with invention and color and joy; putting them under the Countdown banner does a disservice to both books - Countdown seems dull in comparison, and Jimmy Olsen deserves better than the fate he's being given in that series. This one-shot, though? Very Good.

THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST #10: Like Casanova, my only problem with this book is pretty much that it's not weekly. I was tempted to make a joke about being able to tell that Brubaker's involved by the fact that the lead character is missing throughout the entire issue and you barely notice, but the truth is that I am happy enough reading the weird martial arts fights, the business jokes (Oh, Hogarth...), and the mysterious, overblown narration without Iron Fist making an appearance. Danny can take his time coming back if it means more of this Very Good pulp stuff.

ROBIN #168: In which Peter Milligan makes the title character look like a jerk, and doesn't quite manage the subtlety of characterisation of Batman's son that Grant Morrison brings (Morrison's Damien is whiny, yeah, but there's still some sense of entitlement behind his whining; Milligan's version just seems to miss out on the brattiness of the character at times). Otherwise, the second part of the Big Bat Crossover is as fluffy and Eh as the first - if you want to enjoy these books, you could, but there's nothing compelling in them for others to really get their teeth into so far.

UNCANNY X-MEN #492: I'm not sure where Ed Brubaker's subtlety goes when he writes the X-Men - the scene with the Beast in this issue practically sings "I am foreshadowing" in three-part harmony - but it works for him, nonetheless. As with the first chapter of Messiah Complex, this reminds me of nothing as much as a mutant books crossover from the 90s done right, with the overflow of generic characters not even seeming as offensive in the execution. I mean, I know intellectually that the new mutant child is pretty much a McGuffin at this point, but the melodrama and soap opera scenes of Cyclops and Xavier fighting is enough to pull me through the slugfest scenes. Only - for the second issue of this crossover, interestingly enough - the Predator X scenes feel like a bum note. A cautious Good, even if I don't really find myself that bothered about the story itself.

Tomorrow: An embarrassment of riches, seriously. I don't know what I'm more excited ab - Okay, I do. Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together is going to make me very, very happy indeed.

Just For One Day

I generally don't like reading comics on the web, so I read maybe half of the webcomics based on the HEROES television show before my eyes started melting. So, I was pretty happy to see the HEROES HC come out last week -- getting to read these stories in a format that didn't give me a headache, didn't have an interminable wait for them to download, and didn't have car ads plastered all over them was pretty nice.

This might also point to the way to handle the web/print divide -- the HEROES HC is a lovingly-designed book, a "fetish object" if you like, including not only the web comics, but all of the Tim Sale paintings for the series (presented as comics covers), a little smidge of exclusive content (interviews and stuff), and a great design aesthetic that invokes the love of old comics.

Content-wise, some of the material is pretty forgettable -- really, it comes down to how much you want to see Jessica's heist, or Mohinder's getting a job at the cab company, but by the end of the book the stories become longer and delve into stuff that the series can't/won't show. Chief among those are the arc of the "Wireless" character that appeared in maybe three episodes of the show (and disappeared without anyone ever mentioning her again), and the first meeting of Linderman and Petrelli, Sr. None of it is essential, but I found that material pretty engaging, overall.

Curiously, there's an implication that Petrelli, Sr. was "normal", and last night's episode I think strongly implied that Angela Petrelli is the one with powers (she seems to be able to persuade people to do stuff they wouldn't naturally do -- and I think, further, reading between the lines, that she was the reason Petrelli, Sr. committed suicide, actually)

Last night's episode seems to be steering the show close to on track, though I'd sorta be happy if we never see "Capote y Daga" again, really -- they're pretty uninteresting, one-note characters. The big problem for me is What IS "The Company's" motivation and plan, and how are the things they're doing acting in its service? I mean, in season 1, they were hardcore to get Dawnstar, I mean Molly, but in season 2, they seem perfectly happy to leave her with Mohinder and Parkman. Plus, they seem to be acting rather stupid w/r/t to Peter (who should, in fact, have Molly's powers -- he has DL's powers, and DL and Molly were right next to each other in Kirby Plaza). PLus, how does he NOT have the Haitian's powers, too? He clearly has Livewire's powers, despite being "suppressed", and he uses DL's powers without ever seeing DL do his thing. All of this complex mind-fuckery doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me.

Plus, how DID DL get killed? He phased pretty unconsciously when LA Scumbag tried to punch him... why not the gun? (they probably should have staged it better so Micah was directly behind him -- THAT I would have bought), and howcum Jessica didn't fly out of her box that moment, and eviscerate LA Scumbag?

Why do they care about Claire if Adam is the leader of "The Company", and has the exact same power? Or, for that matter, Peter. Plus, why didn't Peter's double dose of regen kick in until Adam told him to? Why does no one suspect the Haitian is a double agent? I mean, really? Where did the box come from, either way?

Anyway, none of that has anything to do with the reason I started writing this -- the HEROES HC is a really pretty book, with several incredibly well illustrated chapters (as well as several horrible ones), that adds just enough to the mythos to be worth the price of purchase. The real star here, however, is the elegant design. which made me really happy. A really really strong OK, from this reader.

Hm, I wonder if there are any Season 2 comics up?

What did YOU think?

-B

Cause what you hearin' is figures, people: Graeme Surfs through 11/7.

Despite Abhay's feelings about it, I have fond memories of 2000AD. It was a comic that I grew up on, then did the traditional thing of giving up on it before returning, shamefacedly, years later (It was Grant Morrison's Zenith that brought me back). It was on that second go-around, when I wasn't seven years old and turned off by Carlos Ezquerra's art, that I realized that there was such a thing as a 2000AD story - One part stealing from pop culture and turning it into a goofy sci-fi idea to one part really, really obvious plot development that you can see coming from miles away, but still enjoy reading the book enough to keep going, mixed together with a strange attitude towards pacing and execution that amps up everything while also keeping tongue firmly in cheek and winking to the audience, perhaps (Things changed, and not necessarily for the better, in the 1990s, when things started to get painted and take themselves too seriously, but that's another story). But bearing all that in mind, SILVER SURFER: IN THY NAME #1 is pretty much a 2000AD story.

Sure, sure; writer Si Spurrier comes from 2th, but it's not just his background that shapes my opinion of the new series. It's the start, with the comedic organ pirates (who are pirates in space who steal organs! Get it?) and the underwhelming non-battle with them, and it's the plot that seems to have an upcoming twist that's less a twist and more the most signposted straight line in the world. It's the ending of the issue, with the visual joke that plays off the smug hero, that's both underwhelming and kind of cool at the same time. And, maybe most importantly, it's the lack of both superheroics and pretention throughout the entire book.

You see, poor Norrin Radd always seemed to get the shitty end of the stick from creators, if you ask me. He was either played as a zen Green Lantern or used as a shitty writers' grand statement-making Mary Sue for years, instead of someone trying to do something different with the character; I don't know if it's because they didn't know what to do with him, or because they thought he'd be more interesting that way (The one exception was the series a few years ago where he was kidnapping children or something; that one has been semi-forgotten, maybe for its own good), but this feels like the first time in years that a writer "gets" the character and the potential he has.

Add to this Tan Eng Huat's wonderful artwork - and ignore Michael Turner's generic, dull cover that manages to screw up the logo - and you have another book that, like Supergirl, isn't entirely successful but is interesting in the ways that it fails. It's probably not for everyone, but it is rather Good.

I've seen the pictures, I've studied them forever: Graeme continues to do that counting backwards thing from 11/7.

It can't just be me that's noticed that, along with the name change last issue, a lot more seems to be changing up in the world of COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS #25. For one thing, things actually happen. Luckily, in keeping with the rest of the series, those things don't really make that much sense when taken in context of the rest of the series.

Take the resolution of Firestorm's search for Martin Stein, for example. Finally, we get some climax to a long-running plot! Admittedly, it would've worked better if this plot had been one from this series, or even something that had even been mentioned in the series before this point (Was Firestorm even in this book prior to the last issue?), but what can you do? Sure, Firestorm's looking for his missing partner might have provided the excuse to explore the DC Universe and crossover into different storylines better than, say, the still somewhat pointless Jimmy Olsen storyline - or the Karate Kid storyline, or the Mary Marvel storyline, for that matter - as well as having a potentially more-fan favorite lead character for the series, but still. I've given up hoping for great long-term planning on this book.

Case in point: Mary Marvel gets introduced to Darkseid, and doesn't freak out? I know that her plot has been "Seduction of the Innocent" and all, but I can't help but feel that we've skipped plot to go from "Drunk with power and willing to fight those who she thinks are trying to take it away from her" to "Teaming up with someone who's supposed to be the big bad evil guy in the universe"... On the one hand, huzzah for plot development, but on the other, I would've loved for this to have been more organic, instead of feeling like a sudden, uncomfortable, jump.

Then again, you also have plots like the Rogues one, which doesn't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon. It's a wasted opportunity, as there seems to be more usefulness in having the characters captured and properly leading up to Salvation Run than the continual "escaping in the nick of time" scenes that not only get repetitive, but also make the Suicide Squad look completely inept (Deadshot got tripped up? Really?). So it's not as if everything in this book is moving forward suddenly.

I don't know; there's a sense, more than anything, that the writers looked around and realized that half the series was done already, and that they should really get moving on that whole "plot" thing this issue. It's not the smoothest upshift in momentum, but it makes for an issue that's more Okay than normal.

Can't drink coffee or beer, loves ice cream and pie: Graeme is Super, thanks to 11/7.

SUPERGIRL #23 is a somewhat unsuccessful start to what could end up being an interesting run by new creators Kelley Puckett and Drew Johnson. Of course, it could be an equally unsuccessful run as each of their predecessors on the title (Seriously, how hard is it to get a Supergirl comic right? Hard enough to chase four other writers off before the book is even two years old, I guess), but it's why this issue is flawed that makes me interested in what's to come.

First, though; Drew Johnson's art? Not one of the flaws. His Supergirl isn't as hyper-sexualised as Michael Turner's or Ian Churchill's (nor, sadly, as interesting and true as Renato Guedes'), and his storytelling and layouts are clear despite being, for the most part, uninventive; it's an easy-to-follow and easy-on-the-eye combination that works for the book, and definitely one of the better artists for the title to date (He needs to work out how mirrors work, though - Check the second panel on the last page to see what I'm talking about).

The story he's illustrating, though, is a curious one. For one thing, more than half of the book is silent, and as such misses the opportunity for Puckett to clearly lay out just who his Supergirl actually is for new readers. He seems to be aware of this, on some level, though; the issue starts with a set piece that uses Batman to introduce the character in broad strokes, and quickly, and the two-page epilogue/prologue to the next issue makes the character slightly more pro-active than she's been for the rest of the book (She's no quitter, I think is the message we're supposed to take from the scene). The fact remains, though, that the story in the issue itself isn't really a strong Supergirl story; it's the start of one, perhaps, but the real story is what happens after this issue, and nothing really happens this issue that couldn't have been handled - and perhaps would've been more successfully handled - as a flashback or exposition at the start of that story. All we need to know is that Supergirl tried her best to stop bad guys escaping, and failed, but decided to try again. We don't need to spend an issue of dialogueless chase scene in space, no matter how pretty it looks, in order to learn that; it reads too quickly, and too frustratingly. Couldn't we have had some narration to get inside Kara's head? Or have the chase cut in half, so that we could have seen more of the more interesting "what happened next"?

All of that said, it's kind of ballsy to make your first issue a practically silent one, and have your main character fail and disappoint Superman and the Green Lantern Corps in there. It's not necessarily a good idea, but it's not a common one, either, and it's almost worthwhile because of that. Batman's character synopsis in the open of the book is a good one, as well, and I hope that it being there in the actual text means that those aspects of the character are going to be addressed as well, and in a way that won't make me cringe (Supergirl doesn't need to go the Mary Marvel route, for example). Like I said, the issue is unsuccessful in and of itself, but in such a way that you can't help but want to see what the creators are going to do next. Okay then, despite itself.

Divide and (Annihilate and) Conquer: Graeme goes into space from 11/7.

The temptation, after spoiling the identity of the mystery Skrull in New Avengers: Illuminati yesterday, to reveal who the mystery bad guy behind the whole thing is in ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST #1 is pretty big. Just how many Marvel fans could I piss off in two days, after all? But I'll resist, if only because the reveal here is more unexpected and kind of more nonsensical; let's leave the WTF moments to the comics themselves. I do wonder about the whole "And it's not really faceless alien hordes they're fighting, it's faceless alien hordes led by this old-school bad guy!" schtick that they're repeating here from the original Annihilation, though; if this is something that's going to happen in every single Annihilation series, I give it two years before we're told that the Ringmaster and his Circus of Crime have somehow become worshipped as evil gods by a race of evil, marauding aliens who want to beat up Quasar. Again.

Nonetheless, the book itself is slick, well-done fun. Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning's script starts with a review of what the big threat is and then jumps straight into the action, pretty much bypassing what happened in any of the four tie-in prologue books other than Quasar, but they keep the idea of imminent disaster treated as thrills and spills going throughout. There're easter eggs for the longtime readers that will hopefully be fleshed out for newcomers in later issues - I can't wait to see just what role the High Evolutionary is going to end up playing - as well as a new take on Adam Warlock that may manage to overcome the currently annoyingly familiar "reluctant messiah" thing that's going on (Tom Raney's art, too, keeps with the slickness; it's attractive work, if a little generic and melodramatic in places).

Much like DC's Sinestro Corps mini-crossover, there's something refreshing about the very old-fashioned "cosmic" level of story being played out here, and the fact that it's pretty much self-contained - well, until the Super-Skrull suddenly decides that he's going to kill all the humans, I guess - adds to that enjoyment. Despite poor Moondragon now being a real dragon, it's a pretty Good sci-fi comic book, and worth picking up if you want something that's more Star Wars than Star Trek.

Mean Green Mother From Outer Space (Reprise): Graeme starts the Invasion from 11/7

You've got to love the lack of subtlety in the cover of NEW AVENGERS: ILLUMINATI #5. All it needs to be complete is a banner that reads "One of the Illuminati is a Skrull! But which one? Could it be the one member of the team whose face is in shadow, and who has a Skrull face floating above his head?" He's also the one character who's also not appearing in any other series right now, so, you know, that choice? Not the hardest one in the world.

Oh, yeah; for those who care - Spoilers for that last paragraph if you didn't want to know it was Black Bolt.

Illuminati has tried its best, all series, to be a throwback to good old-fashioned Marvel action even as it kind of fucks around with Marvel history ("Did Secret Wars II even happen? We're not saying! But look! Our superheroes participated in genocide so that we have a basis for our next summer crossover!"), and this final issue is no exception - There's a big fight scene that's pretty much solved by a Deus Ex I-Have-No-Idea-How-To-End-This which even the characters comment on in the book (It doesn't even really make sense - Iron Man seems to wirelessly connect to, and suck the power from, nuclear power plants to make a big explosion. But how the hell do you wirelessly get power from a nuclear power plant? Reed Richards, afterwards, says "I didn't know you could do that," when he should really be saying is, "Are you seriously telling me that you uploaded nuclear energy to a satellite and then downloaded it to yourself? That's retarded.") - but it's a pointless fight scene, and one that accomplishes only cool visuals for Jim Cheung to admittedly draw the shit out've. I mean, if the Skrull plan is make everyone paranoid, why not let everyone be paranoid instead of melodramatically blowing them up and saying "Ha! You've guessed our amazing plan, which I will now confirm for you!"?

The point of the issue, really, is setting up next year's big summer event, as you can tell by the brand new "Secret Invasion: The Infiltration" banner along the top of the cover (Or, as the banner actually reads "TShecIrneftiIlntvraastiioonn," with the design overpowering legibility; good job, Marvel), which it actually does too well - for the event not to kick into high gear in both the Avengers books, as well as Iron Man's and the Fantastic Four books, after the close of this issue is poor planning; the downbeat ending where the heroes realize that they can't tell who's a Skrull and who to trust, and decide therefore to more or less give up and go their seperate ways, breaks story logic for the sake of delaying the crossover - Okay, so your telepath makes a point of explaining that he can't read the aliens' minds, but didn't Doctor Strange have a magic spell that exposed whether everyone was a Skrull or not a few months ago in New Avengers - written by one of the co-writers of this book? Couldn't he at least mention that here?

(The worst part is that I can already guess the justification for lazy, out of character writing for the next year or so at Marvel - "Maybe it's meant to read weirdly, because maybe they're a Skrull." No, it's just bad writing.)

It's not the worst issue - in fact, it may be the best issue of the series - but it's still pretty Meh; if you want punching and explosions and Bendis dialogue where everyone - - where everyone sounds like this and exactly the same with weird intonations to make you aware of the important things, all drawn really nicely, then this is the book for you. But if you're looking for something that makes sense and doesn't play its hand too quickly in order to go out with a bang? You might want to look elsewhere.

Johanna Reads Some Marvels

Astonishing X-Men #23 -- I don't like it. The people are pretty, thanks to John Cassaday, and there's occasionally a funny (if very Buffy-reminiscent) wisecrack, but the bigger plots are either overused cliches, fun for only long-time X-Men readers, or too detailed to be kept up with in a comic that only comes out every three months. Best read in collected format, but even then, it doesn't seem like anything worth re-reading, so why bother spending for it? The Immortal Iron Fist #10 -- I don't mind reading it, but if it disappeared, I wouldn't miss it, and I never feel like I have anything to say about it. Probably because it's a boy comic, all about the glory of fighting well, grasshopper. Writers Matt Fraction and Ed Brubaker add just enough characterization to give me something beyond that, but not enough to make this worth me getting involved in.

The Order #4 -- Oh, this is good. Very Good. I like these characters. There are lots of them, so I'm going to have to reread the four issues to see which ones we know so far and which we haven't met yet. But I want to, instead of feeling like I've been assigned homework.

And I like the reality-show-inspired confessional structure, in which one of the team members explains themselves and their background, intercut with action sequences. It suits Barry Kitson's can-be-static style, in that they're supposed to be low-key, but he still varies the head shots up a lot. Matt Fraction's character backgrounds are complex, but portrayed with humor and feeling. He's up-to-date, with his celebrity heroes facing the typical pitfalls of tabloid culture: attention for the wrong things, addictions, toxic fame. It feels current. What a neat change.

Oh, and Abhay was right about Vinyl Underground -- #2 is all incoherent exposition, no movement, no appeal. Awful

Walking oh so slowly: Graeme starts with the pricy 11/7 book.

It was about midway through CAIRO, Vertigo’s latest original graphic novel, that I had the moment of realization that this was God Save The Queen, another recent Vertigo OGN that I pretty much hated, only done "right". Like God Save The Queen, this book was a magical realist story that owes a lot to Neil Gaiman, and also like God Save The Queen, it’s a story that’s almost deceptively simple (Thinking back on it after finishing it, I started realizing how thin some of the character threads really were; during reading, however, the execution was charming enough that I didn’t really notice); unlike God Save The Queen, though, Cairo has enough of its own identity and sense of humor to be an enjoyable, if light, read – Something that isn’t going to make anyone suddenly realize that the comic medium is full of opportunities and wonder, perhaps, but certainly more enjoyable than the latest hardcover collection of New Avengers or something similarly priced.

(The price point is worth mentioning, briefly; I got this book in the mail from DC to review, and so wasn’t really aware of how much it cost, but Tom Spurgeon noted today that it’s pretty light for a $25 book - That’s kind of true, and I would’ve guessed it to have been around $20 considering the small size and black and white pages, but I guess DC’s got to make it profitable somehow.)

I think this is G. Willow Wilson’s first comic – although her later Outsiders one-shot saw print first – and it’s pretty successful for what it is. You can definitely guess influences out of it (Gaiman, as I said before, is the most obvious one, but I think there’s some Milligan whimsy in there as well), but she has a good line in dialogue and there’re some nice scene transitions and moments of pacing that show that she’s familiar with the form and avoiding the traditional newbie pitfalls. The character work is fairly basic – there’s a lot of characters verbalizing their emotions and arcs to signpost it for you - but the lightness of tone carries you through the whole thing quickly and easily enough, and the shorthand works; the reunion at the end of the book isn’t really explained or earned, but gave me the warm fuzzy feeling nonetheless. But then again, maybe I’m just a sap.

Artwise, MK Perker’s work really, really reminds me of a fairly unfamiliar name – Jim McCarthy, Brendan’s brother (? I think?), who drew for 2000AD in the ‘90s. It has a similar off-kilter sloppiness that nonetheless helps his characters act, giving you this work that’s kind-of-but-not-really ugly, but definitely effective, despite itself. That it’s black and white hurts it, in a way; a good colorist could’ve added a lot to the atmosphere and filled in some gaps. Mind you, it’s a Vertigo book, so there’s always the possibility that it would’ve ended up all brown and dull.

Overall, it’s very much a book that’ll work for old-school Vertigo fans – It reads like a shortened version of a mini that could’ve been published by the company in the mid-90s, when they pushed out new books a couple of times a month – which isn’t as much of a complaint as it may sound; whether there’s much of an audience for a solidly Good, if not great, graphic novel with all new characters being put out fairly quietly (unless I’ve missed all the hype) is another question, but I enjoyed it.

Get down in your favorite seat: Graeme finishes off 10/31.

Business meetings early in the morning that run until mid-afternoon? Not so fun. Especially when you have lots of other stuff to do in the rest of your day...

52 AFTERMATH: CRIME BIBLE - FIVE LESSONS OF BLOOD #1: Goddammit, I really wanted to enjoy this much more than I actually did. I like Rucka's writing in general, and have (partially accidentally, I have to admit) followed his take on Renee Montoya since his Detective run, but there wasn't enough in this issue to keep my attention; it felt like a cheap dark humored short stretched out to issue-length, with some foreshadowing that I hope doesn't mean the series will end with the Question becoming a follower of the Crime Cult. More Eh than I wanted it to be, sadly.

THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #2: Ignoring the DC Nation page at the end of the issue that officially announces what everyone's been expecting - that this is only the death of this version of the characters - and also the seeming disconnect between Countdown's revelation of Darkseid as the big bad behind the death of the New Gods and his behavior here, the main thing I got from this issue was another helping of my dislike for Starlin's art. Everything else was just Okay.

INFINITE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL: Yeah, yeah. So it's cute that it shipped on Hallowe'en, but still - That means that this book has a one day sales window. Good work there, DC. Equally good work on the relatively Eh quality of each of the (too short to really get much momentum) stories contained within; with the exception of Mark Waid's Flash tale, everything else just kind of passed by in a dull haze...

IRON MAN #23: Try as they might, I can't take any scene where Tony Stark says "RAH!" in frustration seriously. Sad to see that the whole "Everyone thinks he's mad, but seriously he's more awesome and right than everyone else in the entire world and by God he's going to prove it" deification of the character continues, as well. Eh.

SPECIAL FORCES #1: Kyle Baker's new war comic, in a weird way, illustrates the difference between old-school satire and new for me; Army@Love may be unfunny and more dated, but you can tell that it comes from some genuine heartfelt place... but this feels cynically put together, from the exploitative T'n'A to the Frank Miller-esque narration to the media-literate jokes (The first line of the book is "The black guy dies first."); it reads as if it's Baker's idea of what the audience wants in a comic, rather that something he wants to create. That that works better for me than Army@Love probably says something about me as an audience, but I found this mix of bad manners and pessimism full of black humor and highly enjoyable. Good

Next week: The final issue of New Avengers: Illuminati ships, just so we can see how shocked everyone is at Elektra being a Skrull...

Johanna Doesn't Like Geoff's Legion: Action Comics #858

Wow, really not a lot this week to try from the "Big Two" (snicker). There wasn't a single thing that interested me from Marvel. On the DC side, I don't read event tie-in titles, which leaves out six books. Given the increasing levels of violence and ickiness in the DCU, I wasn't interested in the Halloween Special. The same goes for skipping the book wearing its fetish on its sleeve, Death of the New Gods. The Confidential and Classified books are beginning to resemble slush pile fill-in dumps.

So what's left? Well, Action Comics #858 starts a Legion of Super-Heroes guest-star story. But it's written by an Architect, Geoff Johns, so my bias going in is that it's going to be more concerned with either tying up some loose end from some other story or showing off some bit of ancient comic trivia than telling a story.

The beginning, a more jaded, violent twist on Superman's origin, reinforces those negative expectations. Then there's an old-fashioned "Clark Kent, Daily Planet dweeb" scene and a flashback to the teen meeting the Legion founders for the first time. Then the jump forward to the far-future crisis. Which instead of involving some kitschy twist on technology instead is anchored by graffiti and a shootout with authority (and a loving closeup of Dawnstar's cleavage).

I've seen all this before. And that seems to be the point, reinforcing a "we're all fans together, isn't this cool?" familiarity... but I'm not part of it and I don't want to be. Show me something new, something exciting, something imaginative instead. I don't even know if this is "my" Legion or one kind of like it or one with some "clever" twist to fit some other story told in the meantime. Seeing the "classic" group just reminds me how much has changed how often. Awful, because I'm bitter.

A Chill Whistles Through the Autumn Air, the Crossover Arrives: Jog has eaten his 10/31 candy

The best part of Kabuki: Circle of Blood is where the bad guy assassins are all karaoke singing to INXS. Just thought I'd get that out there.

Batman #670: You know crossover anticipation is low in my heart of hearts when a new Grant Morrison comic comes out, and I don't even read it until three days after it's bought. Never mind the upcoming Peter Milligan material I'm not sure I'm even going to buy. And you know how I am with Peter Milligan.

Still, this 'prelude' to The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul is as OKAY an issue of Batman as any I've read. Morrison goes for the same slow-burning start he's hit on every storyline of this run, but he's an old hand at setting up big stories like this, and divvies out setup with a miniumum of convolution. Nothing all that unexpected happens: Ra's Al Ghul is possibly resurrected, Batman alternates between hitting people and sputtering variations of he... can't be! to I-Ching. All is drawn by Tony Daniel (pencils) and Jonathan Glapion (inks) in an unobtrusively bland manner.

All that said, I've really started to like Morrison's work with Damian, Batman's literal son as the Jason Todd misbehaving Robin to the nth degree. I like that he never takes his ad hoc costume off (half bright, half dark, all shit), and how he's developed an odd dependence on Batman to be his ass-kicking father-as-God ideal, resulting in his issue #666 realization of 'Batman' as a childishly x-treme king of blood and traps. Just a good, fun bit of ongoing character development, although less careful hands than Morrison's could quickly make him intolerable.

And that's the game you're bound to play with the line-wide crossover. Yeah... I might stick with Milligan's Robin issues (he did a good Damian too in that Annual), but I'm also interested in seeing how Morrison picks up the threads for those who don't read the whole thing. Time will tell.

I've seen you before, how many more?: Graeme reads Geoff from 10/31.

One of the problems with JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #10 is that having an older Superman from an alternate reality appear, complete with the issues that come from having a simpler - and somewhat compromised - moral view to confront today's superheroes really doesn't have the punch it should have, coming two years after Infinite Crisis, which started with an older Superman from an alternate reality appearing, complete with issues that came from having a simpler, and somewhat compromised... oh, you get what I'm talking about already. The fact that characters are referring to the similarity between the events is, hopefully, a sign that writers Geoff Johns and Alex Ross are aware of the familiarity and will take the story in a direction that justifies the duplication (What, it couldn't have been Kingdom Come Batman that appeared, at least?).

Another problem with the issue is that it doesn't do anything to convince me that there's a need for a sequel to Kingdom Come, or to continue playing with those versions of the characters. One of the things that that series accomplished, whether or not you subscribe to the view that Alex Ross is an artistic genius whose superheroes with bellies is a massive step forward for the medium or not, was that it had a beginning, middle and, most importantly, an ending. Beyond the sales boost, what is there to be gained by bringing back that world, or those particular takes on the characters? Based on this issue, very little other than being surprised by how good Dale Eaglesham's take on Alex Ross's Superman is. Here's hoping that the following parts of this storyline are more than just Okay.

Meanwhile, over on Geoff Johns' other big book of the week, things are looking much better. Despite the choppiness of the storytelling (prologue, fightscene, flashback, flashforward!), there's a lot to be enjoyed in ACTION COMICS #858, even for those of you who don't dig the Legion of Super-Heroes as much as I do. From the iconic opening to, let's face it, pretty equally iconic cliffhanger, Johns has a lot of fun getting his Superman The Movie fix even without Richard Donner's help. Of course, Gary Frank's impressive art, with a strong Christopher Reeve likeness (and wonderfully thin Superman; it's good to see him less bulky than usual), takes up a lot of that strain; keeping the over-rendering to a minimum, it's an attractive-looking book that matches the openness of the writing. If they can keep up this kind of Very Good quality on a monthly basis, then I may just have a new favorite Superbook...

Abhay Wrote a Boring Piece about Webcomics, Zuda, etc.

The best interface for reading comics online is plainly CBZ files, but I guess because of the pejorative connotations that CBZ files have (i.e. it’s the format of choice for your better comic pirates), it’s still underutilized by webcomic creators. Zuda Comics’s interface is a pretty appealing alternative for a simple reason: it resembles Youtube. Everyone on the internet’s been on Youtube; a viewer that works under similar principles makes sense. There are kinks. I can’t guess if the horrendous lettering on all of the Zuda strips is because of the interface, a problem on my end, or if it’s just straight-up bad lettering. Also, someone decided that the load times should be spent having a vaguely-Asian face scowling at the viewer, as if frowning upon them for wanting to see more of the bad comics—I find that a very strange mixed-message, personally.

But all the web-comic portals have had severe kinks starting out—I couldn’t make heads or tails of what they were trying to do with Transmission-X when it first started, but once those kinks worked themselves out, I think it’s become a home for some reasonably fun material, most notable of which probably being either Ramon Perez’s Kukuburi, a thin fantasy with pleasant Shigeru-Miyamoto-ish character designs, or Cameron Stewart’s Sin Titulo, a fun comic in the vein of David Lynch.

(Tangent review: Sin Titulo doesn’t have a strong central character and the motivations are a bit more slight than they could be: Stewart gets the dread from Lynch right, which is fun, but he hasn’t quite figured out the sex or sex-horror—so it’s not working on a deeper level yet like it feels like it could be. Still, Stewart’s internalized enough from his work on Catwoman, The Other Side, and Seaguy that there are enough ooooh-comics! moments to easily recommend the strip for those (and of course for his art!), at minimum. )

So: attacking Zuda for its interface this early, when it’s this easy to use, and gets as much right as it does so far, seems like an unnecessary pile-on to me. Though … typical? I guess I only read about the webcomic world when, you know, some guy who makes a comic strip about videogames is mad he isn’t getting the credit he deserves for having been the first cartoonist to “stick it to that Metroid bitch” or whatever. That’s sort of my impression of the webcomic world, that it’s filled with angry over-complainers in megalomaniacal love with their meager accomplishments (who in theory should be my people), but maybe I only read about webcomics when something ridiculously funny-sad is happening.

Anyways: Youtube was successful not because it curated videos, but because it empowered users. Zuda’s strategy makes whatever benefits their interface gives them negligible—it’s a walled-off site that lives and dies by the merits of the particular creators selected.

So mostly, they’re screwed.

Jeremy Love’s Bayou has a potential to become interesting once there’s enough of it to judge, though mixing Southern gothic and Disney-fied art seems a touch doomed from the get-go. And Corey Lewis has another of his patented character-less, story-less style-farts up—if you enjoy his work, which I at least on one occasion have, here’s more to take a whiff of.

The rest is just brutally uninspired: superhero parody, yet more superhero parody, incomprehensible nonsense, unfunny comedic fantasies, naked-superwoman hooey, and something about… I don’t really know, but apparently the creators read some manga once. At least there isn’t a strip about video games or video game culture, but it’s hard to tell if that’s mercy or an oversight.

There’s a comic about Medusa wanting to get laid. I’m not sure what to say about that.

The low point is something called This American Strife, a Perry Bible Fellowship rip-off only without any jokes. 8 strips are featured; not one has what I could conceivably describe as “a joke” in it:

1) An autobiographical comic about the creator not realizing that a nerd girl was using the television show Firefly as a sex-invite until it was too late; the joke being…. what? “Haha, he missed an opportunity to have sex while the sound of Joss Whedon characters babbling in Chinese muffled his partner’s moans of disappointment.” That’s not a joke so much as a little tiny window into tragedy.

2) A comic that posits that the dinosaurs were nice people who didn’t deserve extinction; the joke being …? Also, I can’t tell because the drawings are lousy if daughter-dinosaur is engaged in gratuitous underage sex, or what exactly is going on in her panel, but it’s not funny to look at so much as deeply creepy. Is her dad dino-molesting her? Jesus, I hope not!

3) A comic about a guy hanging out with Jesus, and complimenting God. Personally, I think there is no God, our lives are vapor, souls are an illusion, and we live in a cruel, meaningless universe that somehow still manages to root against us… all of which is somehow still much funnier than anything in this comic.

4) A comic about how the guy from comic #3 doesn’t want Jesus to be around when he jerks off in the shower or has bad sex with his bored-looking girlfriend. You know who else doesn’t want to be around for that? Readers.

5) A comic where a skeleton advocates emotional sterility and suicide. I have no idea what the joke is, or if there’s supposed to be a joke. Suicide is apparently the answer. Hee-hee...?

6) A single panel of a badly dressed couple talking about a bad drawing of logs or … something…? For some reason, neither discusses their deformed flipper-hands.

7) A single panel of an ugly dog talking to a guy. I have no fucking clue what the joke is supposed to be.

And 8) a single panel “gag” about a couple walking by a traffic disaster, a scene of mass death and carnage, when one wisecracks “Still enjoying New York?” Hopefully future installments will pursue this line of comedy further; for example, the couple can walk by Ground Zero and the guy can say “Bad hair day.” Or they can walk through an infirmary filled with crack babies and the guy can say “This whore-ridden city is obliterating my soul.” Haha: tragedy.

Right now the front-runner in the competition appears to be High Moon, a mix of cowboys and werewolves and who-gives-a-shit. Other people have done the cowboy-plus-fantasy mix before. Many, many, many other people. The art’s okay at least by Zuda standards, but it doesn’t really make up for the tired premise; the execution on the premise so far isn't of any note yet. Maybe with some more pages, this could be something. That something being a z-grade Image comic we’d all typically ignore.

These all feel like ideas for comics, instead of stories told through comics.

As you might have read, the first wave of Zuda creators are all people of Comics. Of the industry. And stained by it, apparently. With the sole exception of Bayou, these are mostly ideas you’ve already seen, in styles you’ve already seen; just not good enough to be printed or sold to a paying audience. Did the creators get potty-trained by the industry to think, you know, “monkeys = funny, superhero parody = funny, war = peace, love = hate”? One strip makes the novel comedic observation that female superhero characters … get this… they dress slutty! Oh, snap! You did not go there! Cutting edge humor like that should stay in the mind of Mencia; don’t even go there!

Better webcomics tend to be weird: no one would print Dr. McNinja. Who would have paid to print Scary Go Round at the outset, and give John Allison time to develop, change styles, etc.? How often does DC see pitches that resemble Dylan Meconis’s Family Man? But weird is irreconcilable with a contest, I guess. Or… did wanting a career in comics make these people boring because they trained themselves to be boring in order to fit in? Or are they boring AND they want a career in comics?

But my preference would be for webcomics to turn into the new penny dreadfuls, the new giallo. My thinking has always been that it seems odd to expect the writing and art on a free webcomic to match that of print comic; that seems almost unreasonable, so why not become the disreputable place you go where you want to see something horrible that regular comics are too scared to give you? So maybe I resent Zuda as a big step away from that, towards pfffffffh "respectability." I'm encouraged to the extent it might persuade Youtube to offer an online-comic feature, which I think would be an interesting development; but that's about it.

For the moment, I think your time is better spent with my favorite webcomic Stevie Might be a Bear Maybe (which I’ve mentioned before and will mention again) or, if you require a further alternative, a webcomic for little kids entitled Zip and Lil’ Bit, now on it’s second story Zip and Lil’ Bit in the Sky Kayak after having concluded its first story Zip and Lil’ Bit in the Upside Down Me. Even if the interface is not quite so polished, the art is far superior, and the writing is far wittier than anything Zuda has so far assembled. It works as a comic not by throwing out monkeys and werewolves and familiar comic book elements and hoping for the best, but by reflecting a child’s logic. The strip relies upon the author’s visual imagination, not his ability to process pre-processed genre leavings—it’s inspired by classic comics, not beholden to them. It’s a bit saccharine—it lacks a certain sadness I think the truly great comics share.

But I think Zip & Lil' Bit is at least more deserving of the attention that Zuda’s thus far received.

Excuse me but I just have to explode: Graeme faces Armageddon from 10/31

The short version of this, if you're pressed for time, is Diana is right, but I wanted to vent about this as well.

The more I think about MIDNIGHTER: ARMAGEDDON #1, the more I think that it's some weird cynical joke being played on the few Wildstorm fans remaining out there. I mean, a week after the latest launch of an Authority series, we get a new series by the same writer starring the same characters that is full of things that only make sense if those involved in the creation of the book have contempt for (a) the material, (b) the audience, or (c) both. For example:

* The fact that it's being solicited as a series of one-shots, purely to get more #1s on the shelves, even though the end of the book clearly states "See more horrifying visions of the future in the next issue of Wildstorm Armageddon!" It'd be great if there was actually a book called Wildstorm Armageddon, wouldn't it (The next issue is actually called "Welcome To Tranquility: Armageddon #1," for those keeping track at home)? This latest trick of DC's (See also "The Search For Ray Palmer") wasn't funny the first time, and seems pretty pointless outside of trying to con first issue completists, if any still exist.

* The fact that nothing actually happens in the issue. The plot is this: Midnighter gets kidnapped into what he's told is the future. This being comics, it's a dystopian future that he needs to try to prevent. He meets future versions of his friends, fails to learn what caused the dystopia, then goes back to the present where his friends say "Yeah, don't worry." The end. There's no character arc, no shock or surprise in meeting the future version of friends (One of them now has glowing eyes! My God!), and no-one learning anything. To make matters worse, this is apparently going to be the plot of the rest of the issues of the Wildstorm Armageddon-non series, all of which are going to feature characters from individual series being brought forward into the same future that they don't do anything about. How do I know that they don't do anything about the future? Because these six "one-shots" then lead into another six-issue series about characters working to prevent the dystopian future in question. So, basically, the whole "Armageddon" thing? Six issues of filler pretending to be the start of a big event. Feel free to make your Countdown To Final Crisis jokes here.

* No-one cares whether the Wildstorm universe turns into some freaky dystopian world because, really, no-one really cares about the Wildstorm universe anymore. No, wait, I mean, because Wildstorm continuity has become so elastic and redone over the last few years - and the same can be said about the Wildstorm identity as a publisher - that it probably won't last for more than a year before the next relaunch anyway. Remember when the Authority took over America, for example? Or the completely-botched Worldstorm?

* To the powers that be at Wildstorm: If you really want to make people sit up and notice the bold changes you're willing to make to your publishing line, just make the fucking changes and don't have at least twelve issues of prelude and teasing, because we'll be bored of it by the time you get there, just in case there really is a there for you to get to.

* While we're at it, why would anyone want to read an entire line of books about a world gone to shit? Sure, you could probably get one interesting book, maybe two, out of the idea of a horrible, post-disaster, world where almost everyone is dead, but basing your entire line of superhero books around it? Really? Doesn't anyone remember how crappy Marvel's New Universe was post-The Pitt?

(Or, really, before, but you know what I mean.)

* Christos Gage's script comes with pre-made snark making fun of the book for you: Midnighter doesn't need to have the Days Of Future Past concept explained to him, because he's as familiar with it as everyone else in the entire world: "Okay, I get it. A possible future. Some dystopian world created by a disaster I have to avert." Jenny Quantum manages to explain what's wrong with the whole concept for you: "Honestly, I can't see what the big deal is. I mean, I understand it was horrible, but we've seen countless horrible worlds; dozens of awful possible futures. And we've fixed them all." Despite writing something this self-aware, Gage still tries to play the concept straight and finishes the book with a line straight out of Heroes - which is also replaying this "I have seen the future and it will be" schtick this year: "I just can't help thinking... whether it's this or something else... all it takes is for us to fail once." Can't you hear the synthetic strings of foreshadowing? No? Maybe it's because it's being drowned out by the sound of Gage trying to have his cake and eat it, too.

* Yes, I know that you could only eat your cake if you had it. I've never understood the phrase, either. But still.

* I have no idea why I ended up doing this in bullet points.

It's a Crap start to what may be an even worse storyline overall - although I feel like I should point out that I kind of liked Simon Coleby's chunky art in this issue - and another example, just one week after the last, of the fact that all of Wildstorm's potential has been pissed away in favor of imitating the diminishing returns of mainstream DC and Marvel.

They Have A Plan, I Don't: Graeme likes some TV comic for a change from 10/31

Maybe it's just been because the show's been off the air for awhile, or maybe my sinus infection has seeped into my quality control filters, but I have to admit that BATTLESTAR GALACTICA: PEGASUS is definitely the most successful of the BSG comics to date. A lot of this comes down to the artwork by Jonathan Lau, which manages to avoid the static likeness-driven nature of the current Battlestar Galactica: Season Zero series while also managing to have the characters look something like their television counterparts (unlike Nigel Raynor's art from Dynamite's first series); it manages to work as a comic, for a change, while also evoking the familiarity of the show.

The story is also surprisingly strong; weirdly enough, the plot begins in almost entirely the same place as the first two issues of the Season Zero series (Battlestar gets sent to recover other, missing, Battlestar which disappeared on a secret mission having run into cylons), but the execution here is more interesting - perhaps because, with its bleaker outcome, it doesn't feel so much like a Star Trek episode - if more rushed. The character work is fairly non-existant, with the exception of Commander Cain, which seems fitting considering the way that the Pegasus storyline eventually played out; that said, there's some nice foreshadowing in Cain's reaction to the dead colonials discovered, and done in an understated way that fits the fairly bleak source material.

Overall, it's Good work, and a good tease for the upcoming Battlestar Galactica Origins series by the same creative team. Now, why the world needs a "Season Zero" and an "Origins" series, that's another question, but still: This is a nice enough way to get ready for the Razor TV movie...