Hibbs' Reviews for 12/15

Hooray! Jeff did a bunch of reviews, so I can safely ignore... well, virtually everything this week. Which is good, because the closing-days-of-holiday-shipping have kicked my ass but good, in addition to the 20 box collection we just bought (how in god's name can you have a 20 box collection and not have ANY of them alphabetized?!?!?!) I've also got this mildly sick stack of DVDs and videos I need to watch (STILL haven't watched THE APPRENTICE finale, but thanks to the SF CHRONICLE for spoiling the results ON PAGE TWO OF THE PAPER, sheesh!) -- including some year-old things from the library like the LED ZEPPELIN LIVE 2 disk set (*orgasmic shudder*) and I also get LotR on Wednesday, plus I'm itching to play some CITY OF HEROES (been 3 days, man... I've gotten to level 43 though!) and I'm just generally drowning in stuff to do.

SO... 3 whole reviews this week!

Hm, let's go with reverse-alpha this week....

TRIGGER #1: I thought this was a terrific start, though the cynical bastard in me wonders how long this can really go. The best Vertigo titles have always revolved around personal responsibility, and this is structured (it seems) to be against the Man. John Watkiss is a fucking great artist, I don't care what you think! VERY GOOD.

SHAOLIN COWBOY #1: Boi-yoi-yoi-yoing! That's the sound of a giant woodie erupting from my pants over this! Holy crap, was this fine shit or what? Sure, the plot is barely a sentence long, but it's not like HARDBOILED was a masterpiece of plot or writing, either. That "360 degree" sequence was simply the coolest thing I saw this week, and I loved how it felt like, dunno, "480" or something. My only quibble? This shoulda been printed at 11x17, darn it! Like Jeff mentioned, this is 2 weeks in a row where Burlyman spanked DC and Marvel in the quality entertainment department, and, there's no doubt this is both EXCELLENT and the PICK OF THE WEEK. Selling like a glass pipe on Free Crack Day, too. Hooray!

IDENTITY CRISIS #7: Here's the short version of the review: Fuck you. Sincerely. In the neck. With a rusty nail. Fuckers.

Ah, but you want the longer version, don't you?

There are several ways in which this doesn't work, at all.

(oh, and hey, there will be spoilers here, in case you haven't read it -- so go away now, if you don't want to be spoiled)

First, and primarily, as the denouement to a murder mystery, there's nothing to call this but shit. There weren't enough clues to put this together. Even a game of CLUE is much less random than this. ("Jean Loring. In the Apartment. With a Flamethrower"), and what IS there doesn't hold up to scrutiny for more than a few seconds. "It was an accident, and I just happened to be packing a flamethrower" The fuck you say? There are far too many improbable things to string together to make this work. Like a) Jean knows how to use the atom suit? b) Ray just leaves them laying around? Really? c) Why the fuck was she packing a flamethrower? Carrying a "weapon" I can conceptually understand, but a FLAMETHROWER? d) um, the world's greatest detectives (Bruce, J'onn, Ralph) with access to god-like forensics tools (Literally in Scott Free's case, metaphorically with the Metal Men et. al.) and Jean didn't leave a single hair, or flake of skin or footprint or anything? I mean, yes, I can buy that she could sneak in microscopically, sorta, I guess, but once she grew, all bets were off. e) I'm no expert, but I kinda thought that flamethrowers would put out a pretty damn distinctive scent? Is that enough? No? Well then, how about f) How did Jean learn to tie that plot-point specific knot? g) Why wouldn't Calculator have called the JLA and tried to sell them the information about the ATOM'S WIFE hiring what seemed to be a random assassination? Seriously, what's the benefit to him to keep that information quiet? If anything, he has more future leverage by playing ball. Also h) by involving him in the plot, shouldn't that mean the Calculator can pretty damn easily figure out that Tim Drake is Robin? And, thus, Bruce, Batman?

There were other non-mystery things too that bugged me. Why was Jean put into ARKHAM of all places? Under her own name? A dank pit of despair and horror, where's there's basically no chance of her ever getting better, and every chance of her getting gang-raped by the Joker, Two-Face and Killer Croc? The fuck? There's even a background "national inquirer" cover that says it happened, if the whole thing wasn't depressing enough for you.

Plus the entire seven issues was basically one big red herring that didn't bear upon the actual events in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. Think about it: Jean went nuts. Not because of the brainwashing thing though -- that had nothing to do with it. She coulda gone nuts 3 months ago, or 5 years from now, and it didn't have any bearing upon the story Meltzer apparently really wanted to tell.

What this means is that the HORROR of the story, the slaughters of Sue and her unborn child, the orphaning of Robin (which dramatically works against Tim -- HE became Robin out of belief of the mantle, not rage at loss like Bruce or Dick or even Cassandra), the absolutely bewilderingly so out-of-character destruction of Jean (and thus functionally Ray, the single most shat upon of all of DC's "icons"), not one of those things had to have happened in order to tell the MAIN story, the brainwashing plot. And that to me, is repugnant.

Morally so. Ethically so.

I don't blame Meltzer, per se. He might read this "review" and think I hate him or something. On the contrary, I think he's a good writer. Certainly he got into the characters heads, and I think the dialogue for the entire series was largely crisp and on the money. Where I really lay the blame is on DC's management for approving, or perhaps even encouraging, the horrific and cynical events here. This darkens the DCU, again. And this trend makes me sick.

Where is the heroism here? Did anything "heroic" occur in IDENTITY CRISIS? No, we've seen rapes, and murders, and insanity and horror, and self-delusion, and secrets and lies. And I don't think any of these characters are anything other than worse for it. Where's the damn heroism?

Coming out on the cover of the next PREVIEWS Batman's holding someone else as a corpse. Just in time for Christmas, have some more cynicism and horror.

Well, no, fuck you. I don't want that. No one does, not really.

I could go on with the rant, but I'm just sick of it. On the Savage Critic Scale, it gets a CRAP, as well as the PICK OF THE WEAK for this week. In fact, though we have 2 more ship weeks to go, I think I can safely take the position that IDENTITY CRISIS was the worst comic of the entire year. Despite the level of craft being extremely high. It's well scripted, it is be-yootifully drawn, but the level of unnecessary damage it did... just ugh. And, dig, there were a lot of really really really bad comics this year.

* * * * * *

On a lighter note, let's look at the books for the week. My first round pick (that is: what *I* took home) looks like this:

AMERICAN SPLENDOR OUR MOVIE YEAR GN

ASTONISHING X-MEN VOL 1 GIFTED TP

KRAZY & IGNATZ 1933-34 NECROMANCY BY THE BLUE BEAN BUSH

MARGES LITTLE LULU VOL 1 TP

P CRAIG RUSSELL VOL 3 LIBRARYOF OPERA TP

POWERS VOL 7 FOREVER TP

I recommend each and every one for your bookshelf, but I'm going to go with Joss Whedon and John Cassaday's ASTONIGHING X-MEN v1 TP as my BOOK OF THE WEEK. That's how you do super-heroes -- funny and brave and bright even when serious. Hooray for it!

What did you think?

(and now Lester can post something about IDENTITY CRISIS, huh?)

-B

Reviews (Such As They Are) for Comics of 12/15/04 (Such as They Are)

Man. Yesterday at the story was psychotically busy (holiday shoppers, putting together the newsletter, Hibbs sorting through a just-purchased collection), and I left early for a company Christmas Party at the other job, so I didn’t get very far into this week’s books. Still, operating under the idea that something’s better than nothing: AVENGERS: EARTH'S MIGHTIEST HEROES #3: Scott Kolins draws a kick-ass Iron Man but I'm not down with this pacing. There's no reason we couldn't have had the "Zemoooo!" scene at the end of #2; Cap's not any better developed at the end of this issue than last issue. This story is either padded or flat-out inert, I can't quite figure out which. OK for the art, but that $3.50 price point stings.

CATWOMAN #38: I appreciate a crazy-ass new villain as much as the next guy, but Wooden Nickel? (Or whatever he’s called?) Splinters aside, I'm just not that scared or intimidated by...wood. In fact, thanks to the Paul Gulacy artwork, it seemed less like a story and more like an outtake from Will Smith’s Wild, Wild West starring Robert Mitchum and Trinity from The Matrix. An anachronism filled Eh.

EXILES #56: I’ve never liked the Kulan Garath fantasy setting: it always feels more like a high-concept D&D campaign my little brother would come up with, rather than something with any real thought behind it. Nonetheless, I’m such a big old Marvel fanboy (emphasis on old) that I’m enjoying the supernatural twist with Ghost Rider and Morbius and Werewolf By Night. (I really like how Jack Russell looks straight out of Ploog's art, in fact). So, you know, if you get all starry-eyed when someone starts talking about It, The Living Colossus, you’ll probably also find this OK.

FANTASTIC FOUR #521: Sums up my whole take on the Waid/Wieringo FF: despite all my objections to it (and I’ve got a lot), I have to admit it works. The process by which a herald of Galactus is created was well-dramatized and seems well thought out. So, Good.

IDENTITY CRISIS #7: I started to write this and realized that, although I don't really wanna, I need to give this another read-through before reviewing. In the few brief minutes Hibbs and I had to talk about it, it was apparent we had taken from it some dramatically different plotpoints. And, in fact, Hibbs tried to re-read it to clear up them up, got about ten pages in, and then threw it aside, mumbling: "To hell with it." You should hear from one or both of us about the damn thing in the next day or two.

INVADERS #5: A big ol' train wreck, I thought. I can't tell the characters apart, the fight scenes lack drama (showing vampires burst into flame by having them be colored yellow and adding a "FWOOSH" sound effect seems very Ed Wood-ish for a comic book), but the writing isn't any better than the art: a lot of sloppy nonsense used to wrap up the fight, and a story that might have worked better in Year Two when the characters are more familiar is just a big old mess here in issue #5. I thought we'd get widescreen global adventure from this book, not inbred British vampire hijinks. Awful.

MARVEL TEAM-UP #3: Again, love that Kolins art (and, at $2.50, much easier on the pocketbook than the Avengers), but I felt like the White Queen in Alice: there were just too many impossible things to believe before breakfast in this one. Pretty pictures, though. Eh.

OCEAN #3: Too soon to tell if this mini is going to be anything more than a very smart dressing up of 2001 (the HAL/"spreadsheet people" comparison seemed pretty obvious) but it was another strong issue that moved the story along. Good.

RETURN OF SHADOWHAWK #1: Man, has a patently silly character ever had so much self-important backstory ladled on them as Shadowhawk? (Hmmmm... in the realm of superheroes, that's probably best left as a rhetorical question.) It was kind of nice to read the back and find out that the stuff that read like warmed-over Alan Moore actually came from Alan Moore, and there were at least three or four good story hooks, but it was all very ineptly done--it was like reading an old Charlton comic, and not in a good way. Eh.

SHAOLIN COWBOY #1: This is the second straight week a Burlyman comic has kicked Marvel and DC's ass--slightly troubling considering neither book was particularly deep: this is nothing more than Geoff Darrow taking a joke and a fight scene and expanding both past the point of deliriousness. This book makes the first part of Kill Bill seem like Howards End by comparison, and Darrow deserves some special award for taking over-the-top medium like comics and going even higher over-the-top that you might expect. Really amazing stuff. Very Good.

SIMPSONS COMICS #101: Feels like the "B" Story overwhelmed the "A" story and it took a bit too long to get to that twist on the set-up. I think a passive-aggressive inert magician showdown between Homer and David Blaine would've been funnier than what we got. Still, some decent laffs; Boothby; etc. OK.

TRIGGER #1: The art was a little too murky for me--I think Seaguy, with all the bright colors right on the edge of spoiling, actually conveyed a better sense of how a citizenry is lulled into accepting a corporate dictatorship--and the story a little too pat (those corporate assassins must be using Saturday Night Specials if The Long Goodbye can stop their bullets). But some clever transitions, a certain ambition in the sweep, and a possible subtext about how violent escapism enables a fascist culture have me kind of interested to see what might be coming next. Not quite OK, really, but not a total Eh, either. Let's see where it goes.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #70: The TV special on the Ultimate Dr. Strange seems like a bad mistake: I have enough faith in Bendis (still) to chalk this up as part of the revamp of the concept (a "hiding in plain sight" approach to the character) rather than a really, really lazy form of info-dumping but I don't like it, nonetheless. I also don't like the father-and-son gimick either, which I think really undermines the essential premise of Doc's origin (a Sorceror Supreme isn't about a bloodline or worldly power, it's about talent...which is why a washed-up bastard, not Baron Mordo or some Ancient One, Jr., gets to be picked). But even though I didn't really like, um, technically any of this except maybe Ultimate Deathlok, it's not terribly done or anything. And I kinda admire how Bendis is clearly trying to figure out how to tell action-packed stories in a shorter space that can still fit together into a thematically unified trade. And yet: Eh.

WORLDWATCH #3: Yes, I read this--right after Identity Crisis #7, in fact, which together made for a nice little bit of psychic mind-rape, I must say. Speaking of which...I've read comic book fight scenes for over thirty years and at no point have I ever wondered: gee, why didn't the villain ever try to rape the attractive heroine in the middle of a fight? Between that and the back pages with the naked chicks and their airbrushed "costumes," I found this uncomfortably skeevy. I'm a much bigger perv than Bri, but I still grimace thinking back on this issue. Very creepy Crap.

So that's thirteen reviews and a pathetic excuse. I have a few books at home I haven't read (to say nothing of that IC#7 re-read) so you'll probably hear from me again before the ened of the weekend. And hopefully Hibbs will weigh on IC #7 at the very least; even in the few minutes we spoke, it was clear he had a far better handle on Identity Crisis than I did.

A Few More 12/8 Comics Reviews from Jeff

Hey, all. I swore I'd keep my nose out of the SavCrit blog for a couple months after October, where even I got a little sick of myself. But since Brian's on a deadline (I am too; I should be working on the CE newsletter but I left the blackline at home) and I'm stuck at the day job with nothing really cooking, I thought I'd throw in a few quick shots in case you haven't gotten to a store yet... AQUAMAN #25: I'm shocked Hibbs didn't review it since his great contribution to my day at the shop Friday was throwing it at me and hollering, "Check it out!" It's a real education on how execution can either save or damn a book. You've got great art and an idea that's thoughtful and a little daring--the people of Sub Diego are so miserable they're turning to drugs as a way of escaping their "washed up" existence--and the suck suckiest execution that ever sucked a suck. The villains trafficking in Heroin was one thing, but then with all the little cocaine vials, you really wondered what the writer was thinking. (Or as Hibbs so eloquently put it, "Yeah, let's do a rail of cocaine! Underwater!") Then, to add some kind of menace to the issue, you've got coke fiends sharpening their teeth...and then attacking Aquaman and his sidekick..and biting them...you know, as coke fiends are wont to do (Or as Hibbs so eloquently put it, "Wha? Fuckin' huh?") Makes the O'Neil/Adams relevance issues seem like Drugstore Cowboy. A can't-miss AWFUL.

BLOODHOUND #6: I'll second Hibbs on this--they did a perfectly good gloss on the prison side of things in the first issue, I don't really see much of a reason to return to it in this much depth. I think the last thing you want to give the readers is a sense the book's running in place, particularly in the first year, and that was the feeling I took (reluctantly, since I liked the first arc so much) from this issue. Not good. EH.

BULLSEYE'S GREATEST HITS #4: Gah. Getting Steve Dillon to draw this is like getting Gordon Willis to do the cinematography on a 'Little Rascals' short. I love the art and the colors add an extra layer of crispness, but the story's conceit--guys working against the clock to get Bullseye to tell them a life-saving fact--is undercut by all the pointless flashbacks, and all the flashbacks are undercut by all the time spent on the story's conceit. Did Bullseye really think he was in love with Elektra? Was he just blowing smoke up the feds' butts? Or is the writer blowing smoke up ours? Just a big lovely-looking waste of time. AWFUL.

DOC FRANKENSTEIN #1: Great looking book and a clever conceit (connecting the common points between the origins of the Frankenstein Monster and Doc Savage--not to mention Jesus--is pretty savvy) but the book confirmed what Matrix:Re and Matrix:Re-Re taught us: The Wachowski Brothers need a good editor to make them hone their ideas, or things feel draggy and bloated. But that doesn't mean you should pass this up. Quite the contrary; this was still lovely apeshit stuff. GOOD.

GOTHAM CENTRAL #26: I think part of the reason writers stick to cliched work--apart from the ease with which you can crank it out--is that once you start trying to create something a little more true to life, the stuff that's still cliched sticks out like the proverbial sore thumb. I mean, there's a perfectly fine start here with well-defined characters having a meal then catching a case, but the rest of the story spins around the idea that Josie talks to her parent's graves for three pages, Catwoman overhears and uses what's she's heard to blackmail Josie into helping her. Maybe in a regular comic I could buy that, but after all the very realistic and believable set-up, that old "character talks out loud to the grave of a loved one" trick stinks like the dead fish that it is. (Has anyone in real life ever done this?) Having Catwoman then use that info just compounds the problem, I think, and left me pretty disapointed. EH.

INTIMATES #2: I didn't finish reading this at the shop because business picked up, but I kinda liked that "hyper-compressed" storytelling with the constant commentary bands at the bottom, the quick cut-aways to character's interior fantasies, etc.--it reminded me of what Alan Moore was doing with the TEXTure panels in Promethea, but I think it has a chance of actually working better here; I felt like there was a full universe here that I was being dropped in the middle of. I can't say if there's any there there, but I think as a way to immerse the reader it's got a lot of potential, and I'm curious to pick the book up to see if it ends up being developed or what.

JLA #109: Bri says he wants a little more plot, and I utterly disagree. The problem is there's too much plot--I want somebody to sock something. You bring back the Crime Syndicate and then spend four issues showing their subtle machinations, contrasted with the political turmoil of Qward? No. Get with the socking, please. Thank you. EH.

JSA #68: Suffers from Identity Crisis syndrome, in that Johns does such a good job making you feel for the family that when they get so brutally slaughtered, you just feel turned off. Having children shotgunned (just barely off-panel) is the sort of thing exploitation filmmakers and writers do when they don't have the time or the talent to make you care about the characters. That said, I liked the rest of it even though time travel stuff almost always makes my tiny brain hurt. OK.

MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #9: I was really glad the villain didn't turn out to be Uncle Ben's diseased zombie corpse, but that's about all I liked about this issue. Weirdly, Millar's "people-behind-the-people" conspiracy for supervillains seems both dated and somehow wrong for the Marvel Universe in a way I'm finding difficult to put my finger on. I think the Marvel Universe as conceived of and developed by Stan and Jack (and Steve, and Roy, and etc.,) is an insanely chaotic place which is the source of its power, delight and terror: Atom bombs dropping all over the place; people getting irradiated; Venusians dropping from the skies and keys to Asgardian kingdoms lying around in caves. In that universe, a guy somehow wiring enough crap together to turn himself into the Leap-Frog makes more sense than the idea that Galactus got ten grand in unmarked bills to show up in New York and make a pest of himself. I'm usually a fan of cynicism where the government's concerned, but it just doesn't seem like the right fit here. The rest of it being generally terrible doesn't help much, either. AWFUL.

NIGHTCRAWLER #3: Again, gorgeous art but a bafflingly bad story. Do I care whether the kid is another demon or not? Is the kid anything but an emotional cipher (although thanks to Robertson, an expressively drawn cipher)? Between that and the usual problems where a magical system is in place but it's only explained as it goes along, this is a pretty slack read. EH.

NIGHTWING #100: Hibbs thought the ending of this was plot-hammered, I actually thought it was the opposite. It read like Grayson was shooting for an ending in which Dick ends up serving time (which would make for a pretty cool arc or two) but looked at her set-up with his ex-partner and went, "Nope, that's not gonna work." A shame, because that seems to have a lot more potential than the "Oh no! There's a streaker in the Bat-Cave!" ending. (Although what a great Infantino-era cover that would make). EH.

Hmm. That may be enough to chew on for a little bit. Unless some repressed traumatic memory regarding She-Hulk or The Punisher comes back to me (and sadly, despite nice art and Furioso2012's comments about issue #1, Wild Girl isn't coming together like I'd hoped it would) the ball is back in Hibbs' court.

Reviews for 12/8

There was very very little this week that fired my imagination enough to write about, plus I have to write TILTING AT WINDMILLS so it will run on Friday, but, damn it, I feel like I owe SOME sort of a quick weekly update, so here's at least 7 comics that I have soemthing to say about.... BLOODHOUND #6: Glowing quote from Ellis on the cover, which is cool, but here we are 6 issues in and I don't know where this book is going at all. The first arc was pretty terrific, but now we seem to be "back to jail" with no easy path out -- and DC already has a "powers in jail" book -- HARD TIME -- which does that much better. I'll go with an OK, but if I was paying cash money for this, I don;t think I'd be back for #7.

DOC FRANKENSTEIN #1: Wow, Burlyman's first comic book is a winner. Nice art, strong dialogue -- it may end up just being, y'know, a HEAVY METAL level story (nice to look at, but doesn't add up to much), but I really did dig this first one, and I'll go with both VERY GOOD and PICK OF THE WEEK here.

JLA #109: How long is this arc? We're at part 3 and, still, nothing has really happened. I didn't DISlike it, but I kinda want more plot. OK

JSA #68: Grimm came by on Saturday, and opined that the DCU is like a pendulum, swinging back to grim-n-gritty every once in a while to remind us that, no, that's not what we actually want. I think the difference in this latest swing is too much towards the "realistic" -- like this issue's sequence where Stargirl's family gets slaughtered in front of her eyes. Slaughtered in graphic detail. Man, I so much didn't need to see that, and it really marred an otherwise fine issue (I dug the Rip Hunter shit), dragging it down to an EH.

MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #9: I am just dumbfounded by this. It fails the logic test on so many levels, I can't even bring my self to enunciate all of the ways. Really, nothing about this series has made any sense whatsoever, and not in a good SUPERMAN/BATMAN, I-want-some-of-those-drugs way. No, this is bad drugs. Bad bad bad drugs. Is the right hand even aware of what the left hand is doing up at Marvel? I mean, what idiot accepted the "sewed eyelids and scapels" add running in a lot of Marvel books this month? Is this something you really want to run the risk of some hard-ass parent seeing little Jimmy reading? It's all symptomatic to me, man. I know I've read something worse this year, but at this moment, I can't think of what that might be -- so, AWFUL and PICK OF THE WEAK from this quarter.

SAMURAI HEAVEN & EARTH #1: It may not actually be, but this sure feels like a recycled CrossGen pitch -- absolutely competant in all ways (though there's prolly enough skin and arterial spray here that it shoulda been a Mature Readers book), but not really feeling deep enough to get me to come back for more. a very solid OK in other words.

SHE-HULK #10: Wait, where's the funny? And where's the nice art? *cry* EH.

X-MEN FANTASTIC FOUR #1: Some one needs to explain to me the appeal of Pat Lee. I don't get it. Ugly, blocky art on a pedestrian story (they actually have a multi page fight scene over a dumb misunderstanding), and this is just here to get some more of your money. Feh, I say AWFUL.

There.

On the Book side, I see a few credible candidates:

ADVENTURES IN THE RIFLE BRIGADE TP -- Minor, but funny, Garth Ennis work... not sure, but I think that this makes every single thing he's done for DC is now collected.

ARKHAM ASYLUM ANNIVERSARY EDITION HC: If you haven't read it, nows probably the time. It's mostly gobbledegook, as I remember it, but the McKean art is scrumdidiliumptious!

ASTRO CITY LOCAL HEROES HC: Even at its weakest, never less than good, and at it's best, it's some of the best recent comics. Plus, damn, that's a fine looking package, ain't it?

GLOBAL FREQUENCY DETONATION RADIO TP: Uneven, but with moments of clever brilliance in most every story.

I am, however, going to go with ASTRO CITY LOCAL HEROES HC as my TP/GN OF THE WEEK.

What about you?

-B

Reviews of 12/1

I thought I'd have plenty of time for this, but I forgot about grandparents coming to see the grandson, and how that tears my schedule into pieces, ah well, here it is anyway! ABOVE & BELOW TWO TALES O/T AMERICAN FRONTIER: James Sturm's excellent novellas, THE REVIVAL and HUNDREDS OF FEET BELOW DAYLIGHT are gathered together here in one excellent and economical package. This is older work, but it has been OP for quite some time, and is very worth the effort to track down. EXCELLENT.

ALPHA FLIGHT #10: Head hurting time travel. Maybe this will end up so that they wipe themselves out of existence. I'd buy that for a dollar! AWFUL.

CAPTAIN AMERICA & THE FALCON #10: One wonders if even Priest can follow his own plots. I sure can't. Well, I can, but it is too much work to actually do so for the joy and entertainment value it actually gives. AWFUL.

DARKNESS VOL 2 #17: Dave Lapham hits twice this week between this and 'tec. You'd think that publishers wouldn't be so fundamentally stupid as to have things compete with themselves like that... but, oh wait, this book is late. *sigh* I haven't really cared for this character since Ennis stopped writing him, and it doesn't really feel like there's been any progression from that point either. The "Darkness Narration" was pretty tedious after about 6 pages, but, still, other than that, this was perfectly acceptable (if dark) comics. OK.

DEADSHOT #1: Bored bored bored by the first half of the book. You'd think the character's name alone would mean that real estate doesn't have to be wasted on showing he's a good shot, right? But, once we took the mask off in the second half I warmed right up to this, and enjoyed it tremendously. So, average that out to an... OK

DETECTIVE COMICS #801: I'm of two minds. Mind #1 says: Good look at the character and his environment and his motivations, excellent art, nice use of a 16 panel grid -- this felt dense and satisfying for the price. Mind #2 says: Overwritten, very badly so, and too much density without clarity or throughline -- the "and this person died and that person died and then this person got raped" scenes just dragged on and on and on, and the rich spoiled heiress angle was pretty forced. Still, that might be because I just saw South Park's "Paris Hilton is a Stupid, Shallow Whore" episode (Which was as on-the-mark, vicious and hilarious as anything they've ever done), and anything is going to pale next to that. Still, giving it a GOOD, because it has tons of potential, and is miles better than anything I've read in a Bat-book in a long time.

EXILES #55: Yet another turn in the Kulan Garth barrel, and everything goes sword&sorcery. Kinda meh, but any comic with Werewolf by Night and Morbius and Wednigo can't be all bad. EH.

FALLEN ANGEL #18: Took a year and a half, but I finally felt sympathy and understanding for nearly every character in the book. This was strong stuff, though the fake out ending was pretty damn lame. It almost feels like a response to "Women and children aren't safe in DC titles" rather than something that was planned, but that could just be me. Either way, happy to give this a VERY GOOD.

HARD TIME #11: Anytime we step outside the prison walls I get terrifically bored. But everything within was great stuff. I'll give it a GOOD.

HUNTER KILLER #0: I think I mentioned this before, but in my stupid shallow mind I have a very hard time with KINGDOM COME's Mark Waid writing a book about what appears to be murdering anti-heroes for our cynical world. That's not to say the work is bad, no far from it, but I just can't wrap my brain around it. This intro issue does an OK job introducing characters (though all of Silvestri's designs look identical for me... I just never was an Image kid), and there are some good beats -- and best of all it is only a quarter. For 25 cents, I can easily give this a VERY GOOD, though were this same content in a $2.95 format, I doubt I'd go over EH.

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #4: Here's a hint for Adam -- if you have a story that Superman would "break", just don't put him in the book. Coming up with end-runs around why Clark has to lay around in bed with the trots don't make action-packed reading... especially when you do it twice. Conversely, if you're going to have a guest-star like the Elongated Man, it might be a good idea for him to actually have some plot point revolving around him, otherwise it's just window dressing. Ignore me if the editor sets the line up, and you have no say. Mm, and even when *I* was a kid, I never thought Kanjar Ro was much of a threat. Creepy-loking, yes... actual threat to the big guns? No. EH.

NEW AVENGERS #1: Miles miles miles better than "Disassembled/Chaos", but it still doesn't feel anything like an Avengers comic to this reader. I don't think Bendis really "gets" Team books, really -- even his ULTIMATE X-MEN run was largely individual vignettes, and that's not the structure a team book should have. At least this was readable and largely likeable, and, at least here, there's no Wolverine on stage, so people who were talking about not buying it because of that can at least read the setup. It's either a very high OK or a very low GOOD

OUTSIDERS #18: Both preachy and univolving, which is a pretty neat trick. Actually, it made me think of GL/GA in that -- we all think those are classic comics, but if you go back and actually read them, most of that run is wretched and horrifically written. If it weren't for Neal Adams art, I don't think they'd ever be spoken of, except in a "Wasn't that quaint and misguided?" kind of way. Anyway, this is so very very earnest and well intentioned, but as a piece of entertainment fiction, yee-ikes, AWFUL.

PVP #12: Hint for Scott: If you can't keep the deadlines, don't do holiday-themed covers. It looks pretty bad when a Halloween-based cover comes out in December. Other than that, as usual, the book is funnier than shit. VERY GOOD.

QUESTION #2: Luthor speechifies, and Vic walks, and that's all that happens. As a formalist work, sure that works, and the art is loverly, and it is smartly written, but it pretty much stopped being entertaining about a third of the way into the issue, and then I was just flipping pages and praying it would end soon. When comics were a buck and a half on the high end, I would have praised this, but for twice that money, I can't muster better than an EH.

ROGUE #5: ...the fuck? A mutant dream? Out of tone for the characters, and now I see why we've lost 2/3 of the readers from #1 to now at Comix Experience. AWFUL.

SUPERMAN BATMAN #15: Man, this is just insane. Every crazy-ass, no-that-can't-be-done idea Jeph Loeb has just thrown together in a big pile. I burst out laughing when I saw who got the power ring (mm, and DC History for $100 for issue #14, Jeph -- you can kill Barry Allen, and that means no Flash, but killing Hal doesn't mean no GL... the ring would just have gone to Guy Gardner at that point. Sorry, being picky), and there's murders and changed sides and insanity everywhere and I loved it. Just a big piss take on it all, and it's an easy VERY GOOD even if none of it makes any sense for even 1/10th of a second.

SWAMP THING #10: Ugly ugly and more ugly, with an added dose of ugliness. Except for the "hey, Arcane's back! Again!" thing, this is about as 180 degrees from Alan Moore's work as it could be, which would normally be a big plus for the character, but this is so ugly that it's just plain AWFUL. We lost half of the buyers for the book in the last 2 issues, and I think this will be cancelled before year two ends. (And that's only because this is a DC book, and they give a lot more rope than is warranted... if this was Marvel, I'd say cancelled by #16)

ULTIMATES 2 #1: Very very stupid of Marvel to put this out the same week as NEW AVENGERS #1, if you ask me, as the two books are in direct competition (early result: We sold out of NA #1 first) -- but I thought this was marginally stronger, although less happens. Better character bit conversations, which is damn weird as we're talking about Millar vs Bendis, here. The coloring is WAY too dark, and "banking" several issues works against it as Cap's missions seem very 15 minutes ago. Still, a solid GOOD, I think.

Y THE LAST MAN #29: The character bits all worked, but the Yorick plot just felt like a cheat. If the last page revelation isn't handled correctly next issue, this might be the shark jumper. OK

I've very glad that Diamond coded the Sturm book as a comic (should be "3" for book, I think, despite the staples -- this is a perma-stock item, and not a periodical), because that means that ABOVE & BELOW TWO TALES OF THE AMERICAN FRONTIER can be the PICK OF THE WEEK, hooray! As for the PICK OF THE WEAK, almost too many choices, but I think the nudge goes to SWAMP THING #10 because it's just damn ugly.

As for THE BOOK / TP OF THE WEEK, my first cut looks like this:

BATTLE ROYALE VOL 10 GN -- the only currently-new-releases manga I like

DARK NIGHT ARCHIVES V1 HC -- Archives for $19.95? Can NOT beat that!

JLA ANOTHER NAIL TP -- Crazy Alan Davis big-event-story DC nuttiness

LORE TP -- Ashley Wood just doing whatever the hell he wants with narrative, like Bill Sienkiewicz 10 years previous

MAGE VOL 1 THE HERO DISCOVERED HC -- A book that largely should be on Top 100 comics ever lists. Up there with WATCHMEN and DARK KNIGHT, if you ask me (and you did)

TALES OF THE VAMPIRES TP -- Whedon and co., so that recommends it right there

of the 6, I'll go with MAGE VOL 1: THE HERO DISCOVERED as my BOOK/TP OF THE WEEK

More next week!

-B

The "reviews" for 11/10

Not a lot of time this week (got to get the new Tilting written, and Garth Ennis came to town and so I kinda blew a day this week recovering), so a quick in-and-out on some notable books: ANGELTOWN #1: New Vertigo crime mini. Likable (enough) characters, nice art, strong plot and decent scripting. This won’t be a classic (or, really, I suspect, TPed), but solid enough and worth a GOOD.

AVENGERS FINALE #1: I was liking it fine until we got to the double-page spreads, whereupon I started intensely disliking it. There’s a few pretty weird choices in here (Especially Jarvis’ “The BEST time of the Avengers? Oh, that’s easy – when the Wrecker beat me nearly to death with a crowbar, then sodomized me!” Um, OK?), and it looks like Marvel is “pulling a DC” and letting Wanda’s powers be a big ol’ reset button (Tony’s “And thankfully no one thinks I’m Iron Man any more”, or the implication this explains away Morrison’s NEW X-MEN run, or I guess, how Korvac didn’t end up committing cosmic suicide in the end?), which, y’know, is so not-Marvel it hurts my head. Then there’s the weird plothammering bits like everyone kinda wandering away despite the obviousness that “The Avengers” is still an idea of merit, or Tony’s proclamation that, sure, the City of New York is happy to grant Landmark status to a pile pile of rubble, or… well, look, you have to turn your brain off for this. I really hope NEW AVENGERS is worth all of this. A (high) AWFUL

BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #185: Wait, is Riddler a joke or not? He just was last month, but now he’s serious again, but, wait, this takes place BEFORE War Games, but maybe after that backup story thing with Ivy? Can’t tell. For a “No, really, he’s a threat, believe us!” story, this was fine I guess, but I didn’t care too much. EH

BLOODHOUND #5

FIRESTORM #7: Ouch, major mistake. I tend to think this will just chase off both sets of readers from both these morally complex books. The problem is, both of them succumb too much to thuggery to be ending up enjoyable. The entire story seems too long, too padded, too brutal, and, ultimately, adding little to either book. Not my thing, sorry, and this derails some promising starts for this reader. AWFUL.

GREEN ARROW #44: I can’t wait until the lectures and the facts and the statistics and everything is over (in OUTSIDERS, too). “Message” comics are fine, but within each 22 pages there should be some attempt at story movement. So, EH.

IDENTITY CRISIS #6: Don’t really want to comment much on this because too much turns on how the last issue resolves (Can it be done in the 38-or-whatever remaining pages?), but it’s sorta hard to see how this won’t break the JLA pretty permanently, and I assume that the Ray Palmer thing is a final red herring if only because Ray’s the most shat upon in the service of crossovers-and-ennui character in the DCU. I’d say OK for now, except next issue is either going to make this AWFUL or VERY GOOD, so I’m going to go with an INCOMPLETE

IRON MAN #1: Except for the big splatty “real world” continuity problems this underlines (Wait, WHEN did these stories happen?), I really liked this. The art is a bit stiff, but the story was strong, and I felt like I got a “comics worth” of reading. Also, did anyone notice the MAJOR Marvel policy change this issue snuck in? Right, Warren and Adi’s names are ABOVE THE LOGO. That’s big, and I hope it starts a new trend in Marvel branding because it makes a big difference in sales and rack presence. Either way, I’ll go VERY GOOD.

JSA #67: Damn, Dave Gibbons drawing the JSA. That’s…. well, that’s damn cool. Solid writing too, I think I’ll go both EXCELLENT and PICK OF THE WEEK here.

MARVEL TEAM-UP #1: Somehow the logo makes me think of the commercials for the LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN movie – “ELL! ECHS! GEE!!!” – but here it is “EMM! TEA! YOU!”. We start with a Spidey/Wolvie teaming (yawn), but this is better than some of Kirkman’s other Marvel work, and, anyway, I like INVINCIBLE better. Nothing shameful here, but it does feel like Marvel saying “We don’t love you; we just want all of your money” (Apologies to Dave Sim) As EH as an EH could possibly be.

NEW THUNDERBOLTS #1: This too, I think. I don’t know what exactly is off about it, but I really don’t care at this point what happens to anyone here. EH.

OCEAN #2: What I liked most about this was that you could read this without having read #1, and still followed it fine, yet I didn’t feel like I was reading the same information twice. VERY GOOD.

MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #8: Great googly-moogly, that was awful. I read it twice and I still couldn’t figure out how SPidey had his heart ripped out on one page, then he was fine on the other. Took Jeff, who had read #7 minutes before reading #8 to figure out that it was the people casually mentioned as trying to fake results for the money. He had to figure it out, too. What horrifically unclear storytelling. Then, those endings! Yikies! C’mon, convincing Jonah Spidey is his Son? Any how many seconds does it take for Jonah to pick up the phone and make that call? And, then, how many seconds later does Peter have a PI on him so Jonah can destroy him utterly? I mean, that’s like sueing a MMOG like City of Heroes for perceived inadequacies in policing the character base for copywritten characters when you’re about to launch a MMOG yourself. About the best you can do is open YOURSELF up to future legal actions once you realize it’s basically impossible to adequately vet hundreds of thousands of players and the scores of characters each and every one has. Oh…wait… Well, anyway, this falls below even the Critic scale, and gets the dread rating of ASS. It is also the PICK OF THE WEAK.

WILD GIRL #1: Guh. Unclear, dull, and awkward and tragically paced. Very little happens, and what does is confusing and muddled. AWFUL.

Sveral good choices in Books / TPs this week, here’s my first draft list:

ABSOLUTE PLANETARY HC

BLAB VOL 15

NIKOPOL TRILOGY TP

PRO OVERSIZED HC

SHE-HULK VOL 1 SINGLE GREEN FEMALE TP

SUPERMAN SECRET IDENTITY TP

THE PULSE VOL 1 THIN AIR TP

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN VOL 5 HC

Every one has a strong reason to buy it, but I think I’ll go with the NIKOPOL TRILOGY TP as the BOOK OF THE WEEK because Bilal is yummy, and the story is excellent, and the price is a steal.

See ya soon!

-B

Some comics from 11/3

Comment with Haloscan, will you -- we know (from hits) that people are reading this, but it's kinda enthusiasm-draining when you write a long post, and you see "COmments: 0" at the bottom! ASTONISHING X-MEN #6: We open the week's listings with, hooray, the PICK OF THE WEEK, getting that out

of the way nice and easy. This is one of those books I don't even actually want to say anything about,

because it's probably better that you get surprised, but there's no doubt this is top-flight a#1 comics

that are clever, fun, thought-provoking, intelligent, addative, and passionate. And you can't ask for

more than that, can you? My only quibble: the thingy that Whedon introduces here is almost TOO powerful

of a concept, and I dearly fear that some hack writer is pitching an awful mini-series based on it right

this very moment. It's such a perfect and logical idea, but it is going to have to be handled very very

VERY carefully to make sure that it doesn't descend into teh suck rapidly. This comic is EXCELLENT.

AVENGERS #503 (#88): Not sure if the ending being spoiled by WIZARD is making me feel like this, or

what, but it sure don't seem to me that Bendis' heart was in any of this -- like this was just a way to

"clean the plate" so he could get to whatever stories he actually is enthusiastic to tell. There were

nice scenes here and there (The "flashback" pages were effective), but it was mostly a lot of blabbity

blab and not much really happens on its own. I also thought that reprinting those 3 pages at the very

end was double-dumb, as it leached out any possible dramatic resolution from the ending. This wasn't

bad, but it sure wasn't any good either: EH.

AVENGERS EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROES #1: Which is largely what I think of this as well. Perfectly adequate

in all ways, if there's a problem it is probably that it moves too fast (this issue takes place between

#1 & 4 of AVENGERS) -- and I guess I was hoping that we'd get a little more than was in the Stan&Jack

stuff. THere's really not much being added here, and for $3.50 it is a bit overpriced. Nice art, though.

EH.

BABEL #1: THe follow up to David B's EPILEPTIC, and it was wonderful, like a fever dream. VERY GOOD.

BPRD THE DEAD #1: Maybe a trifle too soap operatic since it is a series of minis, rather than a strict

monthly, but it's GOOD stuff.

CATWOMAN WHEN IN ROME #2: I got a big laugh out of Eddie dressing up in Selina's clothes, but other than

that and the "let's keep her out of her own clothes as much as possible", this was kinda meh. Damn nice

art though. OK.

DETECTIVE COMICS #800: I'm going to be totally unfair here and give this PICK OF THE WEAK status. It's

probaly not actually THAT bad, but, compared to everything else I'm actually reviewing this week (rahter

than "just" reading), it was what I liked the least. Honestly, they should change the name of this book

to PASSIVE/AGGRESSIVE COMICS #800, as lots of people kind of dance around Batman's recent unholy fuck

ups never directly confronting him, and not letting him confront himself. "Boo hoo, he's alone now"

Please, his ass should be in prison. The Gordon scene was especially unbelievable. In the back up Lapham

starts (his "real" run begins next issue), and that was fine, but, overall, I gotta give this an AWFUL.

DETECTIVE fucking NUMBER EIGHT HUNDRED should have been much much much better than this...

GOLDEN PLATES #1: It doesn't have the usual Allred humor and charm, foo. I haven't finished this, and I

don't know if I can, because I keep hearing the chorus from South Park.... Dum dum dum dum dum!

(http://www.rickross.com/reference/mormon/mormon134.html -- though I especially agree with the last

speech by Gary there). Anyway, if this fills a need for Mike, I'm glad he's doing it, but I can't muster

a lot of enthusiasm. EH.

JLA CLASSIFIED #1: I was pretty meh about this at first (6+ new characters all at once isn't my usual

recipe for enjoyment... no real emotional resonance, y'know), but then Batman showed up, acting campy

yet still bad-ass, and I thought, "THAT's the Batman I want to read about every month, damn it!". Thank

God for Grant Morrison! VERY GOOD.

OR ELSE #1: Drawn & Quarterly hasn't given a new artist a solo book in some time, so I looked real

closely at this work by Kevin Huizenga, but was kinda disapointed. He's got good cartooning skills, but

there wasn't any emotional weight to any of the stories. This is really mini-comic level work, and not

prime-time-ready work, sadly. OK.

QUESTION #1: Damn nice art. DAMN NICE. The story was a bit pokey, and I think elevates Vic's position

higher than it should be. (He's typically asked the questions, rather than providing the answer,

y'know?) We sold out super fast though, so it will be interesting to see how many come back for #2. I'll

probably bounce the numbers a bit, just to cover my bases. GOOD.

RISING STARS #22: Gone for, what? 2 years? 3 maybe? Been a long time, in any case. Glad to have it back,

though SUPREME POWER mutes the joy of this to some degree or another. Either way, GOOD.

SUPERMAN BATMAN #13: Pft, that was a cheat, sorry. This story should have been an issue shorter, and

skipped the entire fake out thing. Cheap cheaty cheat for false drama -- I think this'll read pretty

shitty in TP because of that, though it was a fine cliffhanger. EH.

UNCANNY X-MEN #452: An issue of Alan Davis followed by Not is worse than not Alan Davis. Foo. But I did think the "opening up" of the "previously in..." was funny. "Way back in Byrne's day..." and all. EH.

BOOK OF THE WEEK: only one real choice I think, this time through, after last week's pummelling: Dave Gibbons' ORIGINALS HC. Very pretty stuff.

A Quick Sqwuack from the Parrot!

Jeff here, and I just wanted to second Brian's comments about all the great book picks generally, and the Marvel Visionaries Jack Kirby hardcover in particular. I imagine all you Kirby lovers went and got this already but if not--holy cow. You get close to 350 pages of prime Kirby work for only $29.99, and it's a pretty great sampler: I'm particularly happy about issue #7 of The Eternals with all its crazy design work, and having the Galactus Saga in one place on great paper for less than fifty bucks seems like a bargain all its own. If I try, I can fret about royalties, the way the book is weighted with stories about Jack's happy days in the Bullpen, story selection, etc., but it's obviously a labor of love from the editors and I think it's just a stellar accomplishment at a stellar price. Coming back from vacation and having it, Jaime's Locas, the second volume of Peanuts, and Rick Veitch's Crypto Zoo in my sub box was like returning to the voices of a heavenly choir.

Comics from 10/27

Been a busy week around here -- The Geoff Johns signing on Saturday (Thanks for coming, Geoff -- you are a gracious and garralous man, and everyone who showed had a wonderful time), then Ben's first Halloween on Sunday (well, OK, his second -- but he was barely a lump for #1), and the order form is due tomorrow, but I have to get it done today because tomorrow we have to process the new comics... So, I still haven't read a lot of last week's comics yet!

But I've read some, and there's a few things I definitely want to say, so let's get to what I do have....

Actually, first up, not a comic, but this week's ENTERPRISE. STAR TREK has been in a really really awful place since the end of DS9. VOYAGER stank on ice, and ENTERPRISE has been a jumbled mess. I stopped watching TREK as a weekly thing some time ago, because the quality was just too poor. But, maybe things are changing....

The old TREK production team of Berman & Braga have brought in a new show runner in Manny Coto, and since I'm always one to give a sentimental favorite a second chance (dude, I sell comics for a living!), I've started watching ENTERPRISE again.

Some of the same problems are still there -- the majority of the cast are ciphers, the show is horrifically crippled by continuity needs, the costume and designs are fairly uninspired -- but the watchability of the show has just skyrocketed because the show seems to be about STAR TREK again.

This week's episode has Brent (Data) Spiner guesting as Data's dad, Dr. Soong (hm, or maybe not, I just went to Startrek.com to check my spelling, and Data was built by Noonian Soong [hey, and Juliana O'Donnell Soong Tainer, to be exact!], while Spiner's character in ENTERPRISE is listed as "Arik Soong"), and there's related-to-Khan (who is, by the way, actually Kahn Noonian Singh.... confused yet?) eugenically-enhanced humans, and a visit to an Orion slave depot (Orions are the green folks, like the dancing chick in the first broadcast episode of STAR TREK: TOS), and there's punching and ethical quanderies and it just feels like STAR TREK again.

It's not *great* TREK, mind you, but it seems like it's solidly back in the "right" direction. I'm not sure if I'll be *tuning in* (I only watched this one because Bennett reminded me about it -- thankfully, they have 2 showings a week) each week, but I'm keeping at least one eye on TREK again. In SAVAGE CRITIC speak, I'd give it a (very!) low GOOD.

Now, to the comics.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #513: The rumor is JMS' deal with Marvel says that they can't rewrite a single word of any of his scripts. I sort of imagine this applies to his plots as well. This is a lousy deal, however. For Marvel, for the readers, and, yeah, I think, for JMS, too. See, I don't think there's a single writer out there, in any field, in any place, that can't benefit from editing. Particularly on what is, if you think about it, a licensed book where you are, at best, a steward for the future. Let me get this out of the way, too: I'm not what you would call a Spider-Man fan, especially. Unlike Jeff Lester, I don't have any particular affection for Gwen Stacey or the purity of her character, and her death wasn't a "defining moment" in my comics reading history.

I do, however, know crappy comics.

It starts out bad, really bad, with 5 pages of "comedy" so flat and uninvolving I couldn't beleive it. It's so out of place with the tone of the arc, it feels like a bit placed for the TP -- but I can't imagine it being anything less than horrifically jarring when encountered at page 100 (or whatever). Then we get to the meat of the story, where it seems they want it both ways: you're meant to respect the power of the original story, while at the same time knocking the legs out from under it. This simply doesn't work. "I...won't...fail...her...AGAIN!" has already been done like 47 times, and when it is in service of a story that completely undercuts the original character, you're not even rooting for Spidey to win this time.

Then there's the clunker of the plot points -- the police can't hear what's going on up on the bridge (though, um, I had thought for sure that there were parabolic mics that could listen in at 1 mile+), yet they're able to hit the girl (with, er, pistols?) no problem from the distance. That's just absurd.

I'll reserve judgment on the last panel because there's the obvious way it's going to go, and the "whoa, surprised me!" way, and why make assumptions.

Blech, I hated almost every page of this. CRAP.

AUTHORITY REVOLUTION #1: The AUthority's time is up. They were of a moment. And they perfectly captured that moment. But now that moment is the past, and, even with a reasonably strong premise, like this has, even with a good creative team, like this has, the whole thing really feels like fucking corpses. Look, on a craft basis, on a storytelling basis, this is just fine. But, at the end of the day, I've found I simply don't care any longer. EH.

BATMAN #633

CATWOMAN #36: And, see, this is why I didn't give ASM #513 PICK OF THE WEAK status. Because it clearly has to go to the horrific conclusion of "War Games". Is anyone up there thinking? I mean, seriously. Batman, as they've portrayed him lately, is a meglomanical control freak with obsessive compulsive tendencies who surrounds himself with broken personalities who just reinforce his worst tendencies. And lots and lots of innocent people die because of it. There's no way that the superhero community would let this stand, no way the public would support these people any longer, no way, in fact, the supporting cast as written could possibly keep going along with this. Jim Gordon? Leslie Thompson? Alfred? One of these people WOULD stand up and say "You completely fucked up, you have to make this right, change your game, or we're going public with all of this bullshit"

Story elements alone bring the whole Bat-mythos crashing down. Look, Black Mask proclaims he's attacking the "batcave". The building is protected by gas and lasers (!) and the entire assault is live over-the-air. Who do they find at the middle of it all, surrounded by banks of computers? Little Barbara Gordon who, huh, just happens to have red hair like Batgirl, whom never was seen again after Babs got shot by the Joker. You can't tell me, that in a world where Presedential politics turn on 20-year old events being exhaustively unearthered, that some reporter somewhere isn't going to figure this all out in like 90 seconds?

Then we have the emotional core of the story, and Batman's deathbed scene with Spoiler -- at no point does Bruce take the slightest amount of responsability for any of his actions... actions which DIRECTLY led to the death of this little girl (not to mention Orpheus -- no one seems to care there -- and notice the other dead person is the black guy...). Look, this isn't like Jason's death. This was Bruce's FAULT. HE did this. And there's nothing there, no heart, no remorse, nothing.

ANd the story ends with evil winning. Black Mask? (The most thoroughly c-list of Batma's Rogues Gallery, to be sure) He tortured and murdered a little girl, and he's rewarded with exactly what he wanted -- rulership of Gotham's gangs. Hooray!

You know what this really was? This was "Maximum Clonage" for Batman.

CRAP. And the PICK OF THE WEAK.

DAREDEVIL #66: I liked the story quite a bit, and I liked the idea behind the use of B&W to seperate the eras. On the other hand, the cheap bastard part of me said, "but if half of it was B&W why were we paying color prices?" Still, GOOD.

DOOM PATROL #5: Heh, Robot Wars. That John Byrne, 3 years beihnd the zeitgeist! Still, dopey and unobjectionable, I'll go with an EH.

FLASH #215: Maybe Jeff Lester will pop his head in and give his well-reasoned counter that he laid out on Friday at the store, but I didn't think this issue worked. Mostly for reasons of timing. Even though the timing was to tie-in to IDENTITY CRISIS, I think the story would have worked a whole lot better if ithad come 6 months before or 6 months after IC. I understand the intended counter-point this was intended to provoke, but it's not a seemless continuity implant. See, while I don't like it, I can accept that, in the aftermath of Zoom killing Iris, Barry made a singular big mistake with Dr. Light. That doesn;t strain my vision of continuity. I have a harder time with "and, by the way, I did it again" even if his motivations were more... altrustic, I guess. ANd I have the hardest time beleiving that the Top was then a hero and visible presence in Central City, because we've never ever heard of that before. Then when you add the whole big psychic powers and body swapping things in, which I only sorta remember being brought up once in the past (note: I really and truly miss editorial notes [see: Flash (v1) #172]) but seems like a whole lot more to spin off the character (ow, sorry) than he was built to handle. So my "Wait...what?" shield went right up. Other than that, this was OK.

GREEN LANTERN REBIRTH #1: If you're not a big GL history/fan/buff, I'm not sure if a lot of this wouldn't just slide right off of you. However, when you know your GL, this was a love letter. PLus the art was GREAT, with yummy colors. Me likee long time. EXCELLENT.

JLA #107: Kurt Busiek's first DC wwork was the little-remembered RED TORNADO mini-series. In which Reddy fought... the Construct. So, it was cute to see him come full circle in here. I always thought that, at least theoretically, the Construct was a neat concept. Especially now with the common use of cell phones and the internet. Not like back when he was created in the 70s -- now the idea of the internet getting sentience seems almost inevitible, y'know? Anyway, so that was nice, but otherwise, I was kinda bored. Not much happens. Mostly Wally just pacing aorund the Watchtower. I have higher hopes for next issue, where the Crime Syndicate actually appears! For now, though, EH.

OUTSIDERS #17: Seeing John Walsh's face on the cover somehow made me flashback to that issue of SUPERMAN'S PAL, JIMMY OLSEN with Don Rickles on the cover. That's all I wanted to say. OK

PLANETARY #21: Though PLANETARY has been less obvious in doing the theme issues lately (the first half-dozen being so obviously, "this is the giant monster one", "this is the hong knog revenge film one" and so on), "this is the Alan Moore one." In fact, no less than three people specifically asked about the new PROMETHEA when they saw and mistook this for that. Points off for no forward movement in the plot, but, still VERY GOOD.

SOLO #1: Mark Chiarello has done what I had thought was impossible up to now: he's figured out a way to make an anthology book work for an American audience. Really fucking clever way, too -- make the commonality a CREATOR, in this case, Tim Sale. Sale illustrates every story, and writes, to excellent effect, mind you, two of them. Stories range in tone and genre, but, in every case, this is, I think, some of the best writing we've seen from co-conspiritors Azzarello, Loeb, Shutz, and Cooke. Every story was a little gem, and they all tied together beautifully by Sale's art, and I have to give this an unqualified EXCELLENT as well as the PICK OF THE WEEK.

STRANGE #2: Wong's a hand specialist? Buh? This is taking an awful long time to do what Stan and Ditko did in, what, 2 pages? And, like WARLOCK, it's making enough changes to the "real" story that it feels very out of step with how Marvel has always run (Every story "happened" -- unlike DC where's theres only comparatively recently been given ANY thought to how all the comics fit together), and makes me feel kinda eeky. "Untold tales" are cool, but changing story details just, y'know, 'cuz has never been the Marvel way. OK

SUPERMAN #210: One thing out of the way, first. Batman says "Jesus" here and he's using it as a swear. I am astonished that passed editorial, and it's so far out of character for more reasons than I even want to list. It looks like the cover was drawn months before the script for the issue came in. This whole thing is just a mess. I can't attach any revelence to the events or the situations because they're not only being handled obliquely, but also because everyone seems to be spouting lines that come from plot needs rather than character motivation. This is a muddled jumbled mess, and most of all, it's not ANY FUN AT ALL. Superman comics are SUPPOSED to be fun, people! AWFUL.

WE 3 #2: Holy crap that was good. EXCELLENT.

WOLVERINE #21: Like Lester observed, no matter what I think of it, we did, at least, get to see Wolverine fuck a shark. My defensive sheilds went up when Fury had that line about loving his job because he see shit that amazes him... like a 747 landing. OK, sure, it's Airforce One, and sure it's on the helicarrier, but I can't imagine Nick Fury being amazed or surprised by that at all. Plus, and Wolvie can kill scores (hundreds? Thousands? Seemed like a lot) of America's best agents, but he can't smoke any longer? Is it just me? There's no way this story can end well, so just turn off the ol' brain and enjoy the ride. EH.

On to the BOOK OF THE WEEK. There's a LOT of solid choices this week, and my first pass looked like this:

COMPLETE PEANUTS VOL 2 1953-1954 HC

CRYPTO ZOO TP

FABLES VOL 4 MARCH OF THE WOODEN SOLDIERS TP

FRED THE CLOWN GN

MARVEL VISIONARIES JACK KIRBYVOL 1 HC

SANDMAN MYSTERY THEATER VOL 2THE FACE AND THE BRUTE

SUPERMAN BIRTHRIGHT HC

SWAMP THING REGENESIS TP

That's a lot to even try and write about in the time I have left (still have to do the order form today!), so I'm going to say you should ask your LCS for each and every one of those books because they're all chocked full of goodness, but the one single book I would buy above the others... well it might be SANDMAN MYSTERY THEATRE because I want DC to do vol 3 & 4 & 5 and so on when the stories get GREAT, but I think I have to go with the other "encourage DC to keep going" book, and that's SWAMP THING (v7) REGENESIS, as Rick Veitch follows Alan Moore's run on the book, and I think matches that run for verve and idea. The reason we want to encourage DC, of course, is that Veitch's run originally was aborted when Swamp Thing was going to meet Christ, as he travelled backwards through time. (Swampy, not JC, that is) -- rumor has it that DC was negotiating with Veitch (or the other way around) about maybe finishing the story now. If so, then we really really want vol 8, so buy Regenesis. There's not many people who have successfully followed Alan Moore, that alone should tell you how good this is.

Times up, time to post and get back to paperwork....

-B

The Weak, Book and Week for 10/13

So, since I'm still getting my computer's house in order, and since I had the new TILTING AT WINDMILLS up at Newsrama, and since I got into it in a few threads (also at Image Comics' BBS) and since Jeff's on Vacation so that means I have to solo ONOMATOPOEIA (even if it is only 8 pages this month), so that means no full length Critic last week. Wah. I figure the least I can do is sort through the Picks and the Books.

So, Pick of the Week: Not the greatest week in the world, really -- many things in my personal in-box disappointed me from the ASTRO CITY A VISITORS GUIDE (I don't much care for the Who's Who portion of the content, though it was laid out intelligently as a nice mimic for the type of guidebook it emulates) to SECRET WAR #3 (Huh, jumping all over the narrative might not be the best trick for a quarterly mini-series), so the best thing I think I read this week was POWERS #5. Felt like an "old-school" issue of Powers.

I also kinda want to give it to THE COMICS JOURNAL #263, excpet that's not a comic. I really like TCJ under Deppey, and this might have been the first issue where I read 90% of the pages in a lonnnng time.

Pick of the Weak: Much easier, the work that disapointed me the most was SUPERMAN: TRUE BRIT HC. Really really not funny, nor worth the $25 price tag. Wow, a stunning indictment of the British Tabloid press, both a hard target, and just what we're looking for. *le sigh*

The TP/GN of the week is a much trickier thing... lots of good choices like HARD TIME, or the complete ULTIMATES V 1 HC, even MY FAITH IN FRANKIE (except I hate the digest format), but I think I'm going to give it to the nice thick LOCAS HC. That's a real value right there.

Hopefully (though I doubt it) a full column next week...

-B

Comics of 10/06: Week, Weak, Huh?

Friday was one damned quiet day at the comic book store so I had plenty of opportunity to read stuff. Despite this, I didn't read any more of the week's new releases--so let's just shuffle along to my equally lethargic picks, eh? Pick of the Week is tough because nothing really got me fired up. However, despite my can't-put-my-finger-on-it misgivings (and Jim Treacher's apt critique in one of our comments) about Y: The Last Man, those last few pages were a hell of a shock. If you like picking up a book and wondering what the hell the creators are going to do next month, this is the book to check out.

Weirdly, Pick of the Weak isn't particularly easy, either. Hibbs, for the brief time I saw him at the store, did a pretty good job at seeming well and truly repulsed by Youngblood: Bloodsport #1 but it just didn't bother me that much--it's like getting skeeved out by carnies, you know? Once you realize they're trying to skeeve you out, then you can almost appreciate the theatricality of it. (My apologies to any of our regular carnie readers.) I think I've got to give the Weak to Hulk/Thing Hard Knocks because it's a waste of Jae Lee's talents and everyone else's time and money. I hope Lee can one day overcome whatever resistance he has to good material.

If I was on my game, the Trade Pick would probably be Battle Royale Vol. 9, but I'm two volumes behind and haven't even broken the shrink-wrap on my copy. So lemme just take a second to put in my two cents for Jeff Smith's Bone saga. We've still got a few copies at the store of the big-butt "Bone-in-One" softcover which blows my tiny mind--how can people not snag the steal of the year? Also, I read it over the last day or so and it's a genuinely impressive achievement. Oddly, the "Uncle Scrooge-meets-Lord-of-the-Rings" high concept works all the way to the end, and a wiser comix scholar than I can probably craft a smart essay on why: something to do with the way in which the former's sense of "humor through unchanging character" meshes so well with the latter's concerns with the complexities of destiny (which I guess we could think of as "history's unchanging character"), maybe. All I know is, Smith's storytelling chops allowed me to lose myself in a big old adventure for a day or two and that's pretty great.

So that's that. As mentioned earlier, this'll be my last post for a while, and thanks for putting up with the "all-Jeff's-mouthiness, all-the-time" approach. Hibbs got his computer back but, if I understood him correctly the other day, it's under a scary gypsy curse so you might hear from him by the middle of the week, you might not. As they used to say back in the day: Watch This Space For More Details.

Comics of 10/06

Hmmm. Either I'm just not feeling the comics vibe, or it was not a particularly strong release week. Either statement could be true: I know I spent more time playing Katamari Damacy yesterday than I did reading and thinking about comics. So the following reviews should be taken with a grain of salt--a grain of salt that can be rolled up with a cookie, a thumb tack, a stamp, a mouse, a battery, etc., etc., until eventually it's rolling around the town collecting sumo wrestlers and policemen and cars in its unstoppable mass. 303 #1: I always like Ennis's war stories, and I like Jacen Burrows' art, but this was somehow less than what I expected: the weapons look fabulous and finely detailed, but all the faces seem to have the same broad, broken nose look to them which washes out the sense of individual personalities that, say, Steve Dillon would bring to the project. And I know it's a sign of a mentality ravaged by cheap comic books, but the concept implied by the cover--unstoppable Army guy versus zombies--seems like it might have a bit more going for it than the rather standard Ennis War Story being set up here. I'll be curious to see where it goes, though. OK.

CAPTAIN AMERICA & FALCON #8: I think I may have figured out one of Priest's big flaws--he has to have things both ways. Here, he takes MODOK, the dopey, big-headed guy in the chair, and he and Andrea Divito make him an entirely creepy presence. (That big old head crashing through the walls over the urinals? That disturbed me, man.) But three pages later, Sam Wilson is sitting there reading a paper saying, "He's a big head due with tiny arms. Don't know how you fight the thing without cracking up." Similarly, just as I'm getting used to The Falcon being a hard-edged character, Joe Robertson drags Cap aside and says, "What's wrong with you? Was The Falcon ever a hard-edged character??" Uh, wha? It's like the writer's so aware of any possible criticism he shoots himself down in advance...which may be why so many of Priest's plots feel overly byzantine and labored. All that said, this book seems far less fucked up than most of the books Marvel's publishing these days, which is why I'll pick up next issue, too. OK.

CONAN AND THE DAUGHTERS OF MIDORA: Didn't work for me even on its simplest level--an excuse to see Mark Texiera drawn Conan. Instead of the violently scratchy Texeira work, we get flatly inked figures, dull backgrounds and the occasional landscape that looks like it was cribbed from a Brothers Hildebrandt calendar. The panel-by-panel flow was pretty bad as well. The script didn't do it for me, either, somehow managing to hit every mark necessary to make a good Conan story and yet missing some piece of understanding that would pull it all together. (I'm not exactly sure what it is, but any Conan story where you feel more for the sorcerer than you do for Conan might be one of the problems). Lot and lot of potential here, but it only serves to point out more how it doesn't pay off. It'd be an Eh at $2.99, but at $4.99, I gotta go with Awful.

DETECTIVE COMICS #799: "War Games, Act Three, Part 1" and I've got agree with the cops on this one: it's a fucking bloodbath and it's Batman's fault. I had more fun wondering who in the name of God is so eager to win the Heroscape sweepstakes they'll read a whole page of rules set in bitty ten-point white-on-brown type. I got a migraine just looking at it. Also, in some back-up I haven't been following, Poison Ivy shows The Riddler he's not a particularly impressive super-villain. Yeah, that was a shock. Eh.

EXILES #53: I liked that, finally, some seeds are being sown for a longer arc. (It's pretty impressive in a way that Exiles has been published for over three years now and everyone who's worked on it has just taken the premise at face value.) And, you know, living planets versus Celestials--who can have a problem with that? (Even if it's only for the comedic value of Ego, The Living Planet "hiding.") It seemed a bit more like a Fantastic Four story with The Exiles thrown in, rather than vice-versa, but that's a minor quibbble. It was definitely OK, maybe even Good. I can't quite decide....

HULK/THING: HARD KNOCKS #2: My new theory? Jae Lee is blind. He is completely without sight, and he only picks scripts that are so stinky, he can find them by smell alone. Why else would he waste his chops on a one-shot (in which characters rehash their first fight) padded out to four issues? Hibbs liked last issue's Toyfareish take on Ben Grimm; this issue doesn't even have that. Awful.

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #2: Note to the DC marketing department: if you're going to spend a whole page having Johnny DC hype the other all-ages books, maybe showing the character snoring at the bottom of the page gives the wrong impression. Just an idea. As for the comic itself, I think this needed one more pass--all the pieces are in place, but somehow the transition from the poker game to the Royal Flush Gang didn't feel as organic as I would've liked, and the hook about Superman and poker didn't actually seem borne out by the story's events. Good art though, and good enough for a high OK.

MAJESTIC #3: Well, nothing happens but I'm still liking this more than any of the "real" Super-titles. The flashback to The Bay of Numbers reminded me of some of those fucked up "Planet of Krypton" back-ups Superman used to have--I think I kind of miss 'em. Good.

SABRETOOTH #1: Kind of reminds me of the first issue of Venom that Way did, which had a similar horror movie vibe. Works better here, though, in part because Sears really buckles down and tells the story (I dug some of those close-ups where thick tension lines are flying off the head--pretty neat), and in part because Way doesn't let things drag as badly as previous. I'm not thrilled by the last page reveal--I would've preferred a tight suspense story with Sabretooth versus the poor Coast Guard bastards since it's set up properly--but I appreciate the idea that things are going to stay lively. A very accomplished OK.

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #12: I waited four months for that? If I'm going to wait for a third of a year for a comic book, I'd like to feel like the writer spent more than twenty minutes writing it, and the artist spent more than a week drawing it--the only thing more disturbing than Darkseid's reappearing like a superpowered Jason Vorhees was Supergirl's distorted midriff. I read this book *because* it's over-the-top and super-absurd, so it's not like my expectations are high, so for this book to fall short (after that damn long wait!) is particularly grating. Awful.

SWAMP THING #8: Whoops, I missed an issue (I think?), so this didn't make a whole lot of sense. Like the Corben art, of course, and I'm completely unqualified to comment on the story but there seemed something kinda pat about it. The girl wanders into the swamp just based on what Tefe says? And then encounters Swamp Thing? Those two things are pretty much comic book gimmes, I guess, but then she also knows who Max Ramhoff is, and wants to do him? Maybe Part Two lays the groundwork for this perfectly, but it seems pretty Eh plot-hammering to me. And if this is Part Two (because didn't that first story arc run six issues?) then I gotta give it an Awful.

TEEN TITANS/LEGION SPECIAL #1: The first couple of pages read like gleeful Grant Morrison captions: "A hundred Emerald Empresses, all with powerful eyes. A hundred lightning-wielding Validuses. A hundred Manos with antimatter hands..." and I really liked that. I also liked the epilogue in the pocket universe that sets up the Legion reboot's angle. But the emotional subplot of Superboy being torn between two teams felt very tacked on, as did the Impulse subplot, as did...well, everything with the Titans, basically. Still it was done with enough panache I'll give it a Good.

TOMB OF DRACULA #1: Feels like a failed pitch for a Blade sequel that got turned into a miniseries and sadly it looks like the goofy touches (there's a female samurai on the team of vampire slayers, all of whom seem like they sprang directly from their own action figure designs) are far outweighed by the formulaic touches (somehow, I just knew Dracula was going to be shirtless and wearing leather pants on that last page). Dull but competent, seems like a big old harmless Eh.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #66: Not really the "squirt soda out your nose" type of hilarity the creative team seems to think it is, but I still found the issue amusing. Droll, I think is a good word for it: droll fanboy humor. OK.

WOLVERINE #20: Saying Mark Millar's work these days seems calculated and cynical is like saying today's superhero comics are off-putting to the casual reader--it's taken so much for granted it hardly seems worth pointing out. And, to its credit, this issue seems largely well-calculated: ripping off some choice Millerisms (ninjas in a graveyard, a "nobody's that fast" villain) and having John Romita, Jr. illustrate them seems like a very smart way to go. I also appreciated the story starting as a relatively typical Wolverine story (Logan doing a favor for a pal, writer ripping off the plot of a movie--in this case, Kurosawa's High and Low) and then running into much weirder territory in very recompressed fashion (a year ago, it would have taken three issues to get to that Manchurian Candidate style twist). But the whole "hey, it's Nick Fury! And Elektra! Shield CSI! A superhero hit list! And did I mention Elektra! It's like 'Hush' but in the Marvel Universe!" angle is, I think, too cynical and not as well-calculated. I'm gonna give this a Good because frankly I enjoyed it more than the last thirteen to fifteen issues of the title, but I know I'm gonna feel like a chump for doing so when Wolverine is fighting the Fantastic Four and the Avengers two issues from now.

WORLDWATCH #2: In color, and with 80% less icky sex scenes, Worldwatch still has a little too much of the tittering fanboy to it. Also, I guess Austen liked the "big opening fight scene where it turns out the villain has been sleeping with the hero" from issue #1 so much he recyles it for issue #2..or maybe he's got even fewer ideas for this book than I thought. Padded out with a text piece that's either a shill for another Austen book ("Now that I've done superheroes but with sex, let's do Archie...but with sex!") or a very, very lazy approach to deepen his setting, Watchmen style, this feels really, really skimpy despite a good price and professional presentation. Kinda Awful.

UNCANNY X-MEN #450: Chris Claremont is a wacky dude. Why all the blibbity-blab about Rachel never having seen swashbuckler movies for that opening sequence when it's so clearly a very beautiful Alan Davis homage to Edgar Rice Burroughs' John Carter of Mars books? Claremont knows it too since the Danger Room sequence is called "Burroughs-17," so why? There's a similar feel to the rest of the book, some crucial shortcut in Claremont's thinking, I just don't get: "Everyone will think you did it, Wolverine, that's why you should investigate!" But won't that make everyone jump to the "mutant cover-up angle" like the kid's dad did? Yummy Alan Davis art makes this an OK or better, but man does that Claremont guy hurt my head.

Y: THE LAST MAN #27: I'll forgive some of the San Franciscoisms, because the little twist at the end was enjoyably nasty and the arcs are moving forward finally. Something's kind of rubbing me the wrong way, though, and I can't quite put my finger on it. Until I do, let's call it a Good.

YOUNGBLOOD: BLOODSPORT #1: Those first few pages really made me think of kids who use swear words when they don't quite know what they mean: "Boy, I'm sure liking this blow job!" "Me too, this blow job is great!" "We should apply for this new Youngblood team! Okay, but first I'm gonna have another two or three blow jobs!" Apart from that, weirdly, I thought of Alan Moore. Just as his Promethea sprang from the work he did on Liefeld's Glory, so too is it easy to see Millar's Wanted developing from this ultra-nihilistic Youngblood story. I'm not sure what's more sad, that this came out a year ago and I'm only just reading it now, or that there still hasn't been a second issue, but neither lead me to expect I'll ever be seeing this wrap up. Since I see it as just a dry run for the more accomplished Wanted--given a choice between J.G. Jones and Rob Liefeld, would anyone actually pick Liefeld?--I don't actually care that much. Still kind of a shame, though. Eh.

See? Nothing really show-stopping. I'll update again after working at CE Friday, in case I stumble across anything else.

9/29: Week, Weak, Pick.

I thought there'd be more choices for Pick of the Week but really there's just Darwyn Cooke's super-fab New Frontier #6: in case of Identity Crisis poisoning, take one of these for instant relief. See your doctor if symptoms persist. For Pick of the Weak, well....Amazing Spider-Man #512--not just because 2004 is a really bad year for Gwen Stacys, but because a character's mythology means more than just an aphorism and sticking to walls. Runner-up is Metal Gear Solid #1, recreating the experience of a twelve year old telling you about the game of Metal Gear he just played, except wasting some sweet Ashley Wood art in the process.

Trade Paperback: I hate to keep picking reprints of old DC Comics, but looking at the difference between Loeb and Sale's Catwoman: When in Rome and their old Challengers of the Unknown trade is edifying: Sale's always had a love of the full-page splash and the double-page spread, but in Challengers he jams every page with storytelling verve--Bendis' intro rightly points out that Monopoly page, but Red killing his way out of a prison, the crumpled Kirby summaries, the tiny robot making his way across a vent of a panel border, are all pretty masterful stuff, designed to do more than fetch high prices for the original art come convention season. I hate what the mini did to my buddies the Challenegers and Loeb's script gets way, way, way too in-jokey by the end, but it's mighty fine comic book reading and worth checking out.

Comics of 9/29, Part Two

The good news is, I read more books at the store. The bad news is, I don't have much time to finish this up. I apologize in advance for any criticisms made less trenchant by the accidental excision of a noun or verb. DAREDEVIL 2099 #1: Apparently, "2099" is codeword for "bummer twist ending." And I should have pointed this out when reviewing Black Panther 2099, but it was Hibbs' big complaint so I'll put it here: why revive the 2099 line if you're not going to follow your old continuity? It's almost like Marvel commissioned research that showed they should alienate their readership, and feel compelled to follow it. Plus, how can he be the Kingpin when he says earlier that the Sentinels wiped out almost all crime? Eh.

METAL HURLANT #13: The opening goth cheesecake story didn't do much for me, but goddamn did I love the "Lucha Libre" story by Jerry Frissen & Bill. I've got a fondness for Mexican Wrestlers so seeing 'em caught as squat manga cartoons bitching about their rides and each other while fighting a gang of vandalous werewolves was pure chewing satisfaction for me--it definitely worked better than any of the nine million masked wrestler comics thrown our way in the last year or so, probably because (as with the Frissen/Guy Davis story with zombies, hired investigators and angry rednecks) it's a story that plays with the idea of America as melting pot not just of cultures, but of pop cultures. I really, really enjoyed it and, at $3.95, feel comfortable giving it a high Good.

MUTANT 2099 #1: Okay, I've made a few mistakes with these 2099 one-shots. First, they're listed as Marvel Knights 2099 which explains the line-up--one-shot for each of the first Marvel Knight titles (I should've remembered that from the solicitation a few months back). Second, I read them: this was the only book I actually liked (that didn't have Kyle Hotz drawing Dr. Doom), maybe because its twist ending was that it wasn't a big downer like the rest of the books. It doesn't make any more sense than the rest of the books, though: where were the ubiquitous Sentinels when the Mole People attacked? On their lunch break? And Reed Richards seems pretty blase for a guy in his situation, dontcha think? Still, OK or maybe Good, kinda.

OUTSIDERS #16: I haven't followed the title very closely after the first arc so I assume Judd took the time to set up the whole Nightwing/Arsenal conflict and explained why Arsenal resents Nightwing, and how Nightwing got that pointy stick stuck up his ass...but I ain't buying it. I just can't see Dick Grayson getting pissed off enough to try and hurt one of his oldest friends with the "junkie" card. I thought the whole point of Nightwing is he wants to be like Batman without being an asshat? Gotta give it an Awful because I failed my saving throw against suspension of disbelief.

PUNISHER 2099 #1: And the big bummer twist is...nothing happens! And as Tom the Dog points out on his site, the idea of Elektra giving birth to a child in 2038 when she's at least sixty is a more dramatic premise than anything that happens here. Awful.

RICHARD DRAGON #5: I remember liking this more than previous issues, but I don't remember why. There's a ringing endorsement. Eh.

SIMPSONS COMICS #98: I give Ty Templeton full points for clever, as he makes use of one of the show's longest running visual gags, the Olmec head in the basement, but have to deduct points as most of the jokes he sets up with it (particularly Homer's whole "I'm dreaming!" shtick) don't really pay off particularly well. Feels like he did a lot of work just to get to that last page which, admittedly, I found both clever and touching. So an OK, more or less.

SUPERMAN #209: Wow, Jim Lee draws four great giant monsters, one of whom is an earth elemental with the head of Mount Rushmore, and I still hate the issue? That's an impressive achievement. Maybe I'm alone in this, but it seems to me Azzarello's grand pitch for this storyline was a bunch of hastily developed ideas for Superman stories spitballed together. What a prettily drawn pile of Awful this is.

X-MEN #162: Austen and/or Editorial overplay their hand a bit on setting up the "is he or isn't he a traitor?" situation with Caine and Bobby spends wayyyyy too much time with the whole "How could you trust him? You just trusted him! Aren't you sorry for trusting him?" And, thinking back on it, it seems the story falls apart as the rest of the Brotherhood doesn't mind Juggernaut flipping out and ripping apart Black Tom too much, but I'm giving this an OK because, I dunno, I like Salvador Larroca's art. Sue me.

Okay. Pick of the Week, Pick of the Weak and my highly uninformed Trade Paperback Pick later tonight.

Comics of 9/29...

I couldn't do it. My plan was to review the comics in the order I read 'em because there were lines of thought that developed from going one to the next, but a super-crap day at work yesterday and the debate last night totally knocked it all out of my head. So back to our good ol' pal alpha order this time around. Foo. A FINE MESS #2: I liked this second issue of Matt Madden's formally playful comix--at their best, they give off the precocious charm of stuff I've read by Calvino, Barth or Cortazar (Madden namechecks Queneau who I should hunt up) and there's great fun in catching on to the games Madden plays in the first two pieces. But there's kind of a big "yeah, so?" price to be paid pretty quick--everything seems clever and glib, but can only point in the direction of emotional resonance. I'm giving this a Good because I had fun, Madden's seems to be getting better and better, and I'm glad someone's picked up the banner of dedicated formalist experimentation that Spiegelman's basically abandoned post-Breakdowns. I do hope future work brings a little more steak to the sizzle, though.

ADAM STRANGE #1: I didn't think I'd like this but, as with his opening run on Swamp Thing, Andy Diggle seems to be only toying with jettisoning the old while bringing in the new (the first third had me sadly shaking my head but the rest of it put a stop to that). The real stars, however, are Pascal Ferry's art and Dave McCraig's colors: Ferry's cleanly detailed work looks surprisingly deep, in no small part because of the way McCraig plays with gradations of color (the mundane scenes are colored in muted greens, blues and browns with flashes of brighter colors during flashbacks and when action finally starts). The story's just starting and it could hit the crapper pretty quickly but this team give me hope. Good.

BATMAN #632: Guys who've just had their big toes just cut off move would still move more gracefully than the events in this issue: the whole "yeah, I planted a bomb out in the hall" manuever felt pretty plot-hammered and of course, Batman's a genius who lets absolutely nothing get by him until the writers need him to act like a trusting lunk (until it's revealed an issue or two down the road...that he was never really fooled at all!). Awful.

BLACK PANTHER 2099 #1: My favorite of the 2099 books I read, mainly because Kyle Hotz draws a really, really nice Dr. Doom (I've had a weird Doom fixation since finishing the "Essential" Super-Villain Team-Up a few weeks back) and you get a Doombot on almost every page. Also, shit really happens, although admittedly too hurriedly to really care about it. For the price? OK I guess, unless you share my Doom fetish in which case a very, very low Good.

BY BIZZARE HANDS #4: Haven't read the Lansdale story Barrett and Verma adapt but they do a very good job: it's got that distinctive Lansdale feel to it, a mixture of explicit gore, black humor and poignant sadness. I'm kinda bummed that without Jacen Burrows' cover I never would've understood how "the roses" look or work, but that's a minor quibble. If there's a fault, it's with the story itself which, adapted as a comic, overwhelms its own emotional point with all the vivid viscera. But that's a quibble. If you're a Lansdale fan (or just a fan of gruesome, but not mindless, horror) I say you should seek this out. Very Good.

CATWOMAN: WHEN IN ROME #1: Ahhh, Jeph, Jeph, Jeph. If there's one thing I always admired about your recent "every cameo ever!" approach, it's that it never descended to "it was all a dream!"...until now. 22 pages of story that feel like 6 (it's actually ten if you ignore the dream sequence) I think it's too flimsy for the price. But if you're buying it for the gorgeous Tim Sale pin-ups, you'd probably disagree (I would still say wait for the inevitable trade where you'll get better bang for your buck). A big Eh from me.

DAREDEVIL #65: As promised, a very pretty issue of Daredevil. Weirdly, I think the least interesting aspect of Bendis' run on Daredevil is what the other Marvel heroes think of Murdock's shit, and that's what this issue is: The all "what other Marvel heroes think of Murdock's shit" issue: only the Dr. Strange bit at the end carried any weight (and yeah, probably in light of the way Murdock acts through the rest of the issue but if you've been following the run it would pack the same punch) with me. Maybe I'd be fangasming over this if the last storyline hadn't felt like a flop to me, but this is a high-priced OK. If you like cameos and pretty pictures, you'll like it much, much more than me.

DOOM PATROL #4: I really liked those first three pages--they showed a lot of, I dunno, moxie. And in this issue, Byrne really breaks up his traditionally stoic panel layouts, which was a very pleasant surprise. But it's all the usual Byrne blah-blah-blah of our heroes figuring out a vaguely scientific solution to their vaguely scientific dilemma--it's like the most boring parts of DC's Silver Age squared. I kinda wish Byrne would kinda take the spirit of those first three pages, drop some acid, and just go apeshit, but what are the chances? Anyway, to sum up, this issue was dull, but surprisingly OK.

ELEKTRA: THE HAND #2: All the stuff that annoyed me about Nu-Marvel in one convenient place: faux manga, decompressed narrative, and a book designed to reach outside the current marketplace while packaged with a hook to sell in the current marketplace. More to the point: I don't care, and I don't know why I should care. Awful.

FUTURAMA #19: Kinda great that I missed parts I and II of an apparent trilogy and it didn't get in the way of any laughs. Some of it runs a little too fannish for my tastes (or maybe it just didn't work--I should have loved that whole Hogan's Heroes, Captain Kirk gag and I didn't...) but a lot of it made me laugh ("A Vote for Xavius is a vote for Big Olive Oil" was pretty great). Futurama fans have gotta be pleased the cartoon is gone but this book is still around. Good.

GAMBIT #2: It's kinda like Layman made a list of things he likes (heist movies, John Woo's Hard Target, Tim Powers novels) and tossed 'em all into a big pot, but he and Jeanty aren't big-time chefs--they're cooks still learning their way around the kitchen and their concoction feels uneven and watery. Got potential, but little more than that here. Eh.

GREEN LANTERN #181: A mixed blessing for me--I'm so happy Kyle didn't get fucked over (by every DC hero's ultimate nemesis, DC Editorial) that I'm willing to let all the inconsistencies slide. Why does Kyle take Force's word about his mom? How does he get the jump on Force after he gives up the ring? What's with the "yeah, space didn't work before, but I gotta do something to give this an ending" conclusion? Answers: I don't care. I give it the Eh of relief.

HELLBLAZER #200: Kinda clever, and the art is lovely, but there's always a problem with these "it's the same thing...only different" stories: if you don't make the vignettes sufficiently different, it just feels like reading the same thing several times over. But as a way of twisting the old "It's A Wonderful Life" angle, and giving John some creepy new adversaries for the future, I think it's highly OK.

INHUMANS 2099 #1: Thank you, Paddy McPadPad. I think it was supposed to be "glimpse insight into other characters' lives so that you feel for them when the twist ending rolls along," and if this was written by, I dunno, Alan Moore I would have, maybe. But it wasn't, and I didn't, plus I didn't buy the twist anyway so it felt like a big ol' waste of time and space and paper. Awful.

LUBA'S COMICS & STORIES #5: Beto is such a tough call because half the time he's ten steps ahead of what everyone else is doing, and half the time I suspect he's ten steps ahead of what he's doing and trying not to act like he's lost--and from back here, it's impossible to tell which it is. I think this was unfocused and lost(?) but it was also charming and funny and lighter than it's been and I really enjoyed it. Good.

MARVEL 65TH ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL: This almost entirely dashed my hopes of ever seeing Everett's Sub-Mariner and Burgos' Human Torch material collected--I was going to rant about what a sloppy job Marvel did of reprinting the material until I noticed the long list of restorers. Unless someone undertakes collecting all the original art, I guess this stuff is just gone: I've seen wax dixie cups with cleaner reproduction. A shame, because this material, underneath its crudeness, has a slyly subversive nasty edge (Marvel Mystery Comics should've been called More Pricks Comics) Millar lovers and fans of Morrison's Marvel Boy would eat up with a spoon. I loved the stories, but it looks like utter garbage and it's five bucks. How the hell do I rate it? Good, but don't buy it? Awful, but go read it? I honestly wish I knew what to tell you.

METAL GEAR SOLID #1: Wow, a video game adaptation that's just a video game adaptation. Kris Oprisko just played Metal Gear Solid and then wrote down what happened. That's...uninspired. I guess the audience is Metal Gear fans who want to see Ashley Wood draw their favorite characters, but...aren't they gonna be bored reading a story they've already played, and likely played several times (I think I made it through twice, myself, although I gave up at the final boss battle both times)? Seems kinda like a lazy, book-killing approach to me. Pretty book, but an Awful choice.

NEW FRONTIER #6: Man, this just knocked me on my ass. Do I think it's the next Watchmen, like some onliners are apparently saying? Actually, I'd be suprised if you could give this to a "civilian" and they did more than like it and admire the art. But for fans of DC's Silver Age, this is a gorgeous heartfelt valentine and it'll be hugely appreciated as long as there are fanboys still drawing breath. This last issue felt kinda like the movie Return of the King in that Cooke gave us three endings when one would have done (and each kinda diminishes the other's effectiveness accordingly) but man, oh man. Great great work by Darwyn Cooke. A very high Very Good.

Crap, outta time and still about ten books to go. I doubt I can wrap it up before tomorrow or early Sunday, but if I can, I will.

Spoiler, Spoiler, Spoiler/ I Made You Out Of Clay...

For a change, I was gonna write reviews in the order that I read the books, but I think it's better that I review this first, and separately, so I can get it off my chest and move on, and people who could care less about Spider-Man--or want to avoid the spoilers--can skip this entry entirely. AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #512: Wow. As you may know, I grew up largely as a Marvel fan, and a Spider-Man Marvel fan at that. So this issue managed to be as upsetting to me as all the issues of Identity Crisis put together. I'd like to pretend that that's not the case and strike the pose of objective criticism I think, generally, is pretty important and necessary. But considering I've been up since three in the morning fixating on this, I guess I have to admit it got under my skin and take the time to try to explain why.

I really, really, really hate what JMS has done here. Retconning things so that Gwen Stacy slept with Norman Osborn and then produced genetically shaky offspring obsessed with killing off perceived shitty parent Peter Parker is just ass, plain and simple. I can understand the hook's allure for Straczynski, and don't think it's simply cynical gamesmanship on his part. The idea deepens and justifies the emnity between Pete and Osborn; it makes Osborn much more of an evil calculating prick; it makes for a high stake story; and it closes up any question that Mary Jane isn't the best woman in the world for Pete, destroys the perfect gleaming image of Gwen Stacy that makes the marriage between Mary Jane and Peter seem a little off or wrong or second-best. From the point of view of a writer with a wicked hook and a checklist of story objectives, the idea makes sense.

From every other point of view, however, it is an awful and shitty decision that makes absolutely no sense.

Does it make sense in the continuity of the title? No, it doesn't. Not only was I unable to find any sort of "Gwen in Europe" storyline in my casual perusal of the Eseential Spider-Man volumes, but at no point does Mary Jane Watson act, after Gwen Stacy and Norman Osborn's death, like there might be two orphaned children hanging around Europe wondering where their mother is--unless Mary Jane is a stone-cold sociopath. For that matter, I don't remember when Mary Jane's knowledge of Peter's alter-ego was retconned in, but if she did know that Pete was Spidey at that time, I can't see how she wouldn't think that he somehow found out about the affair and killed them both. Even if she didn't know at the time Pete was Spidey, I can't see how she wouldn't at least suspect it since both Gwen and Osborn end up dead near each other at the same time with Spider-Man being blamed and Peter having a hell of a motive...which is about as far from how she actually behaves in those issues as can be.

Does it make any sense with regard to the characters as we know them now, without continuity? I'd say no. Your wife knows that your ex-girlfriend had children with the man who hates you most in the world, a fact which your wife would naturally expect the man who hates you most in the world to try to hurt you with at some point. And she never heads that pain off at the pass by trying to tell you first? Really? (Or the possibility never occurs to her?) And you're also okay with that? Really?

Does it make any sense in regard to the story as it's currently presented? I think not. Gwen leaves the kids in Europe and comes back and confronts Osborn with the knowledge that she's pregnant? Why? For that matter, how? I've heard pretty great things about European socialized health care, but I don't think they allow you to check in to the hospital, pop out twins, and then leave the country without them to fly back to America, do they? How does Osborn then know where to find the kids? I even tried to construct some sort of "Well, Osborn's got a facility in Europe, and he paid for the medical costs so he knows where the kids are, etc., etc." Then why does he act like Gwen has any slight power over him in the first place? If nothing else, why does the other twin look like Pete and not have the patented pimpin' Osborn hair (an apparently genetically dominant trait)? If the twins have half a brain in their head, why would they believe the bullshit Osborn feeds them if he presents himself merely as a uninterested party for years and years? "Oh, I'm just raising you kids out of the goodness of my heart. And if you ever want to kill your deadbeat dad--not that I care or anything--well, okay, I guess I have always thought people who shirk their parental duties deserve to die, but that's just my opinion. Hey, I bought you ninja suits! As a present!"

Let's be honest: are these the reasons that caused me to be so upset when I read this issue? Of course not, any more than JMS stumbled across this idea while trying to explain why Osborn grabbed Gwen and not Aunt May, or why he fled to Europe instead of hiding out in the States. I listed all the good reasons to justify why I think this story is shitty and should have been killed at the pitch stage or any number of steps along the editorial chain, reasons I hope are relatively sensible and inarguable.

The not-nearly-as-good reason is just this: it's fucking wrong. I started reading Spider-Man *after* Gwen Stacy got killed so it's not like she was a girlfriend-on-paper for me or anything remotely like that. And I don't think it's wrong because JMS slammed some sort of big red "Madonna/Whore Reversal" alarm button. I think it's wrong because if we don't allow the characters and the ideas to have some sort of basic integrity, everything falls apart. Because, let's face it: It's Spider-Man. It is not suspension of disbelief that holds this enterprise together. It is an emotional investment on the part of the reader with certain core ideas and characters. And while some may maintain the only core character is the title character and the only idea is that he's a hero, I think I disagree. After all, Spider-Man is always going to be Spider-Man--the guys who put him on bed sheets and super soakers and Saturday morning TV guarantee that. It's what the other characters do that actually matter, if for no other reason than what they mean to him that make him who he is as an actual literary character, and if those characters are utterly malleable to the whims of any and every journeyman that comes along, then he too is utterly malleable, even if you don't touch him. You warp and woof the fabric of his universe until it means less than a bedsheet or a super soaker (because you can't sleep on it and you can't soak somebody with it).

Look, there are a lot of "great" hooks that would "explain" stuff in the Spider-Man universe: The Burglar shot Uncle Ben because the whole crack-for-sex trade went horribly wrong (hey, it explains why the burglar was in the house!); J. Jonah Jameson tried to kill his son by sabotaging his space flight (hey, it explains why he hates Spider-Man!); Aunt May looked like a corpse for all those years because she was a big old junkie (hey, it explains why they never had money!) and liked to try to crush innocent bystanders with her sex toys (no wonder why she and Doc Ock almost married!).

The list can go on and on and on and almost all of it are nothing but bad ideas (except Flash Thompson being gay--that would explain a lot, but I didn't list it above because I don't think of being gay as a pejorative, which is what I was shooting for...) even though they're dramatic and "make sense" (if you just warp and woof that universe a little bit more). You shouldn't do them because they leave that little universe you're shepherding a worse place in just about every sense. You take away something and leave nothing new in its place.

In short (hah!), it seems like a very, very bad idea, and it's a shame this story came about. It's going to be a little difficult pretending it never happened but, considering my powers of make-believe have been mighty enough to keep me reading Spider-Man for over thirty years, I've got faith in me. I only hope enough people feel the same.

I did give this the Ass rating, right? Ass.

Comics from 9/22: Pick of the Week; Pick of the Weak; Trade Pick

So I'm back. I'm trying to follow in Hibbs' footsteps by saying I'd be right back and then disappearing for a day or two...actually I was kinda torn as to my picks but want to get them out there before the weekend is totally up. I decided to go with two books for Pick of the Week: I'm totally knocked out by King Cat Comics #65 by John Porcellino and think every fan of alt comix and unique voices should try and get their hands on a copy. I must've picked this book up four times in the last three days to re-read parts of it.

But since King Cat isn't the easiest book to find in a comic shop, I'm also picking Ex Machina #4 as a book everyone should be able to find without too much trouble. Ex Machina is book whose potential seems to grow, not diminish, with every issue, and is very much worth your time & dime.

My Pick of the Weak is Manhunter #2 because, although I haven't worked behind the comic book counter for very long, I've never seen a book that so many people have wanted to like and then decided to take a pass on. I'm frustrated it's not much better than it is.

For the trades, I'm going to assume if Hibbs was here, he would recommend the softcover release of DC OGN The Life Eaters. I haven't read it yet, but I know how impressed Brian was with Brin and Hampton's alternate history tale of Americans, Nazis & Norse Gods.

Me, I have no choice but to pick the second volume of Grant Morrison and Richard Case's The Doom Patrol: The Painting That Ate Paris: this material is fifteen years old and still fresh as a daisy. In particular, I'm blown away by the climax of the titular story, where Morrison uses nested narrative flashbacks to mirror the predicament of the characters caught within the levels of the painting, and uses three different connotations of the word 'Dada' at the finish to devastating effect. Morrison is as good as he claims to be in this one, and I hope DC doesn't wait too long before getting the next volume out there.

I've got a busy week coming up but I'll try to have a go at this week's books, maybe as early as Thursday. And I'll also try to have the new Fanboy up by the end of the week as well.

Pinch-Hitting for Comics from 9/22

Okay, so since Hibbs is out of the game for a few weeks, I thought I would try and step in and cover the reviews for a week or two. This first week will be a bit schizo since Hibbs wrote up a bunch of reviews, lost them and spent a chunk of yesterday repeating them to me. At first, it was very much: "So, yeah, if you review that book, you might want to mention I said..." and by the end of the day, it was: "Don't forget to tell them to get The Life Eaters. It's great stuff! Remember!" Sigh. So some reviews will start with my paraphrase of what I remember Hibbs saying, and then I'll move on to what I think. It's kinda like the way we used to do Savage Critic! (Except for all you know, I killed Hibbs, faked that earlier blog entry by him and am now sitting at a desk where his skin as a pelt. Mmmm....Hibbs pelt....) Oh! And I know Hibbs doesn't post a spoilers warning because it's in our intro, but really, you know: Spoilers. I'm still pissed reading that Brubaker article on Newsarama spoiled this week's Avengers for me....

ASTONISHING X-MEN #5: What's particularly nice, I think, is that Whedon has the X-Men fight as a team, and that's something that a lot of x-writers and artists lose track of in all the characters punching each other out. And that art is shockingly good stuff. I thought this was really Very Good; I'm pretty sure Hibbs did, too; and I think you would as well.

AVENGERS #502: Hibbs sez: Well, at least it wasn't all talky-talk. And they killed off Hawkeye in such a way that any idiot could bring him back. You notiice that cover says "One of these Avengers will die!" and Hawkeye--from what I could see, anyway--was the only Avenger on the cover in the issue? That narrows the field a bit! I sez: Yeah, but the action was confusing and badly paced, Hawkeye went out like a chump ("No, not like this! Not like this! Like this!"), and the only character who actually read in character to me was, unsurprisingly, Spider-Man. I also thought Nick Fury's whole "No, you heroes can't be here! A single radioactive fart could screw up all our careful readings!" was D-U-M-B. Even the coloring (which was lovely but detail-destroying) seemed poorly chosen. I thought it was Awful and if Marvel Editorial brought back Magneto two months later, I kinda hope they're equally classy and bring back Hawkeye next week--at least, they'd be rectifying a bad choice in this case.

BATGIRL #56: I picked this up because of you, Savage Critic reader: I've been avoiding the whole "War Games" thing like it was a British hard candy, and so I hope you feel like you owe me one. Actually, this wasn't so bad because it was mainly a big old fight scene that felt almost cartooned--loose but evocative, quick but vivid--and it went down pretty easy: Batgirl versus Kung-Fu Pirate Girl? What's the harm in that? OK.

BLACK WIDOW #1: Hibbs sez: Great to see Bill Sinkiewicz art, and real stuff--not just him inking somebody else. And the rest of it was good I sez: Yeah, but it was pretty slapdash Bill S. work, don'tcha think? There were only a few panels that really popped with any storytelling verve. That said, as an Elektra-story-without-Elektra, I thought it was pretty good with a lot of stuff happening and an overall intelligence to it. Good.

CATWOMAN #35: Hibbs sez (and this is where I'm paraphrasing and dragging in all this week's War Games comment under one book): Batman's an asshole. Seriously. That he just did that with Oracle's network? I really, really hate this Batman. Everyone acts all respectful of this guy, here and in JLA? Why? He's a jerk and this is at least the second time where the whole thing is all his fault because he's such an ass. I almost want to never read a Batman book again. I sez: I kinda blame Brubaker--his Batman is always a real asshole, and he wrote that infamous Batman freak-out back in #600 where I was half-sure future issues would show that he'd been drugged or something. I really liked the scene where the villains are so awed by how beautiful Selina fights they just gawk and get dropped. And I'm slowly developing an appreciation for Gulacy's Battlin' Boobs & Butts artwork, but I also don't like where this is going or how it's getting there. These big bat-crossovers are like chemotherapy: they may turn around sales for all the titles, but they weaken the shit out of everything else. Eh.

COSMIC GUARD #2: Oddly, I enjoyed this much more than issue #1, probably because it almost read like Starlin redoing Omega The Unknown or the Fawcett-style Captain Marvel: the emphasis is on the kid since he doesn't really know what he can do or how to do it. That may well turn around next issue, but if Starlin stuck to it (and toned down the Dondi-eyes on the kid), I'd be really happy. Good.

EX MACHINA #4: I remember when The West Wing was announced as a TV show, I thought it was a terrible idea: a weekly show about the adventures of the President? How cheap and easy was that going to be? History showed me what a chump I was on that one, but I'm happy to say an old dog can learn new tricks: Vaughan and Harris's superhero mayor of New York sounded like it could be great because they sounded like they really believed in the material and they could do great work. Well, they're doing great work, and I think I enjoyed this issue tremendously as the story continues to open wider and wider but in a way that suggests possibility and not chaos. This is Very Good work, and as your large Samoan attorney, I advise you to pick it up.

EXCALIBUR #5: I can never look at this book without The Odd Couple theme playing in my head. But whereas some of my appreciation for The Odd Couple comes from lazily reading it as coded gay text, I don't think Excalibur makes any sense otherwise: why are Xavier and Magneto hiding out on Genosha if not to play house together? This issue in particular makes it plain that Professor X should be off the island and helping hold the rest of what's he built together, rather than lounging about on Genosha raising an adopted family of misfit mutants with life-partner Magneto. Sure, sure, call me a weirdo perv, but considering this is a book where half of Claremont's agenda seems to be pushing a tentacled mutant as sex-positive lust object, how wrong can I be? I give this an OK, but only because it's a guilty pleasure.

FLASH #214: Hibbs sez: an Identity Crisis tie-in that really tied in. Very classy and understated throughout. I even like that there wasn't an Identity Crisis blurb on the cover. I sez: I think they needed that blurb because this was almost too much of a tie-in--none of the story makes sense if you haven't read the first three issues of Identity Crisis. It does stand out as a pretty dramatic contrast to the "red skies" level tie-ins we've been getting with Marvel's "Dissembled" cross-over, though. I liked it fine, although it seemed needlessly padded--Wally has to meet with GA; then Iris; then back to GA? (Hibbs felt that was actually "necessary" padding since it serves the end of having the issue end with "Dear Wally..." but whatever. This, and IC #4 also point out the problem with open universe crossovers: half the DCU (Spectre, Iris, all of the Legion, maybe Impulse) being dead and/or from the future may easily know who the killer of Identity Crisis is but "can't" say anything. Despite all my bitching, I agree with Hibbs. This is a well-done issue, and if all company crossovers had tie-in issues this classy, the industry would be in much better shape. Good.

HARRY JOHNSON #1: Oh, how Hibbs and I argued about this book on Friday. Hibbs thought it was a clever funny book that made him grin in a few places and that, apart from a dildo joke, was a book you could give a kid and he'd laugh at the goofy stuff while the adult stuff safely went over the kid's head. I thought this was a waste of good-looking art and format ($2.95 for a color book with strong art and good paper? This made most Marvel books look cheap...) because and less-than-timely gags on Raiders of the Lost Ark, a movie old enough to drink, vote and drive in all 50 states of endless wink-wink, nudge-nudge puns. "Well, come on," Hibbs said. "It's called Harry Johnson, what do you expect?" And I guess he has a point. It read to me like Peter David at his shtickiest, but Hibbs liked it and I wouldn't have been disappointed if I hadn't thought the art and production had been top-notch. Let's call it a conflicted OK.

KING-CAT COMICS #65: Apart from the McSweeney's pack-in, this is the first issue of John Porcellino's well-regarded King Cat I've ever read, and I thought it was great. Porcellino is one of the few people doing poetic comics that nails the elegance and craft of true poetry (although I suspect he might suggest what he's doing is closer to Zen writing, of which poetry may or may not be a component) and his art style is so simple it actually becomes iconic. If you could get Kolchaka off the booze and sugared cereals, you'd get something a little closer to King-Cat, and this issue is an extra bonus if you live in the Bay Area: Porcellino recently moved to San Francisco and this issue has observations about the area that opened my eyes. I'm looking forward to hunting more of these down now that he's local, because they're amazingly great stuff. Excellent.

MANHUNTER #2: What a shame. The cover is so lovely, I know customers are actually picking this up off the rack, but I can't imagine they're happy with such a lame, sluggish book. How long was that opening dream sequence? A quarter of the book? And the "Honey, I Shocked the Kids!" style "cliffhanger" didn't really do it for me, either. Hibbs put it best when he said, "That wasn't even decompressed storytelling! It was, I dunno, unpressed storytelling. Or something." Awful.

MARVEL KNIGHTS 4 #10: I normally like Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa's way with character, but the characters this time (maybe because of The Psycho-Pirate's influence) read kinda shrill and off. His stories tend to be dull little things and this issue, even with the threat of a supervillain and a big monster for Ben Grimm to sock, was no exception. You really wish there was a talented editor like Archie Goodwin around who could work with him. Eh.

NIGHTCRAWLER #1: Another Aguirre-Sacasa title, and while readable, it was also deadly dull. Part of that is because Kurt Wagner is a better reactive character than an active character, and part of that is because the plot read like CBS crime show version of Silence of the Lambs meets Scooby-Doo by way of John Farris's The Fury. With Nightcrawler. Nice art (and a great logo) but one enormous Eh, regardless.

PLASTIC MAN #10: Goofy fun, more classic Looney Tunes than Cole's Plastic Man but I don't mind. Weirdly, Hibbs thinks this is too slight for the money but Harry Johnson isn't, but that's why Hibbs is a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a big hairy hippie suit. Good.

ROBIN #130: Hibbs also went on and on about this issue because Steph gets gruesomely tortured. We decided that, given a choice between the Marvel Universe and the DC Universe, all female characters would rather be in the Marvel Universe: In the DCU they get tortured and killed, whereas in the Marvel Universe they just got sexually exploited and drawn on the cover by Greg Horn (torture for some, but not all). Come on DC--does your readership have to have a fundraiser to send you to enlightenment workshops? Awful.

SLEEPER SEASON TWO #4: The best of the reboot issues to date: story, characterization and clever plotting are all top-drawer. Wish it hadn't taken so long to build up steam again, though. Good.

TEEN TITANS #16: The Fatal Five Hundred? Legion Planet? I hope this is the end of the old Legion stuff and not the beginning of the new Legion stuff because it's just too overpowered. I liked the date more than the cosmic blabbity-blab and that's says something but whether that's a glass half-full comment or a glass half-empty comment I'll leave up to you. OK.

THE DRUNK #1: Tim Vigil draws this story that reads like S. Clay Wilson without the sense of humor--or the coherence, God help us all. Also, what's the point in being clever and calling your character "The Drunk" if you don't put, like, a logo on your cover? (Or anything on your cover, for that matter!) CE has more than its share of lushes that would have picked this up if someone had just tried a little harder. A real wasted opportunity on many levels. Awful.

TOM STRONG #28: I really am surprised by the number of good stories written for this title by guys who aren't Alan Moore: here, Brian Vaughan crafts a very clever little story (maybe more like two very clever even smaller stories jammed together). Having Tom Strong's crew punch it out with the liberated subjects of famous paintings was great fun. A high Good.

ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #11: Hmmm, I think my carefully cultivated illusion that this was going to be good may have been dashed into a million itty-bitty pieces. Doom with a bazooka? Doom with organic techno-spikes? Doom with poison breath? Doom spending a whole page rallying stoned anarchist squatters around him? I don't know how much of this is Ellis and how much of this is from outline notes Millar and Bendis wrote on coke-streaked strip-club napkins but it's pretty double-plus ungood from where I'm sitting. I'm thinking maybe they should get the guys who write Twisted Toyfare Theater to take over UFF next, because even though they're not trying to be serious, they write much better Doom and Thing than I'm looking at here, which barely hits the Eh.

Whew! Okay, back in a bit with the Pick of the Week, the Pick of the Weak, and the trade recommendations.

Comics of 9/22 (*sigh*)

I really have to get used to saving a copy of what I write outside of blogger -- damn thing just gave me a 404 and lost everything I wrote about this week's comics. I'll try to retype it later, I guess.... -B

More Comics from 9/15...

Well, you got to hear Hibbs' excuse, now you can hear mine: I was home sick with some nasty cold thing that knocked me on my ass. While on said ass, I wrote the latest newsletter for the store and so, dropping the blackline back at the store a day early, I got my hands on some new comix today. In the interest of bailing out Mr. "Ooo, I can't review comics, I had to assemble an armoire!" Hibbs, here are my impressions of the following: BIRDS OF PREY #74: Felt a bit like two disparate stories jammed into one issue, but they were pretty decent stories, so I don’t mind too much. And really nice art by Fern and Bird, too. Overall, a very nice change from the last several issues. Good.

CABLE & DEADPOOL #7: Did Marvel chicken out of using that “Passion of the Cable” title? Bummer. Maybe it was seeing Deadpool get his can kicked by an old Master of Kung-Fu villain, but I liked this: it seems like a faster, dumber incarnation of what Macan and Kordey (right?) were doing on the Cable title back before it ended. I don’t hold much hope for it ending satisfactorily, but in the here and now, I thought it was Good.

DAREDEVIL #64: Well, since the previous issue biffed the storyline for me, I didn’t get too excited by this. But the larger story is still in place and the scenes that connected with that worked for me. Good.

FANTASTIC FOUR #518: Hmmm. I guess it’s a good thing there’s no attempt to live up to the ‘Avengers Dissembled’ logo on the cover, but there wasn’t much here to really grab me on its own merits. I’m sure that’s probably more me than anything in the book; mainly because I think Galactus stories are just experiments in creative self-frustration (you’re just not going to do better than the original stories). Also, I’m no science joe, but doesn’t the planetary invisibility thing make no sense because the planets would still emit a gravitational pull which is pretty easy to detect? In any case, maybe you’ll like this better than I did (I have some weird resistance to the Waid/Wieringo run overall, it should be noted) but for me it was Eh.

HAWKMAN #32: What is this thing you call “fun comic book?” A little too glib in places (if you’re going to have someone say, “Thanks for the exposition,” you might want to make the exposition a little more subtle so the comment seems like more of a joke and less of a self-criticism), but darn pretty art and having it done in one was gratifying. Not great, but somewhere around Good.

HUMAN TARGET #14: Apparently Cliff Chiang can draw anything and make it look great except a naked human butt. Go figure. OK.

IDENTITY CRISIS #4: Basically an “all middle” issue with nothing particularly outrageous. I don’t buy a couple of the premises (Lois Lane isn’t checked into a hotel somewhere under the name “Lori Lemaris” or something? I doubt it.) but the skill in the writing and art are evident. If something had actually happened, I could’ve given this more than just Good.

INVADERS #2: A similar tact and C.P. Smith’s art makes this feel like the Marvel version of Stormwatch, and at least for this issue, it has the same problems: too much set-up, too little pay-off. Pretty art, though. Eh.

MADROX #1: Sadly, never got better for me than that very cool David Lloyd cover. Nothing wrong with it, I guess, other than the introduction of all the secondary characters kinda slowed down the narrative thrust. OK.

STRANGE #1: Hmmm. Pretty much what Hibbs said only more so. Hibbs compared the change from Strange-the-jerk to Strange-the-jerk-with-good-intentions to Han not shooting first; and indeed, this feels like that reported change to A New Hope where Han and Greedo now shoot simultaneously: A decent job is done showing Strange as initially having some good in him but since now absolutely no time is spent showing why he becomes a greedy dick, I think the waters are muddied even more—I guess the opportunity for early introductions of Wong and The Ancient One was too good for JMS to pass up. So competently done, it’s at least OK, but I found it too damn annoying to be more than that.

ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE #2: Torn on this, because while I certainly liked it, it’s just not going fast enough. The plusses are an abundance of interesting possibilities and a surprising connection between Ellis and the Ultimate version of the Marvelverse (that helicarrier page fits perfectly between classic Kirby SHIELD and Ministry of Space, even though I think the naval carrier design doesn’t work). The minuses are Bam Margera right after the recap page and paying not just $2.25 for an issue of all set-up, but for a second consecutive issue of all set-up. Too good to be an Eh; too frugal to be an OK, so a tough call all around.

WANTED #5: Hmmm. That whole “death of the dynamic duo” sequence really underlined for me how low Millar’s ambitions are for this book. Or maybe the sequence is designed to distract from the rather flimsy “the entire world is filled with guns, but only two people in the world are either skilled or motivated enough to use them” recovery our antiheroes make. Lots of gaudy cheap thrills to be had, but I remember back when I thought this miniseries would end up being much better than merely Good.

WOLVERINE #19: This whole arc didn’t do it for me—it’s bad enough that Logan and Creed have a mysterious past, but then The Native gets introduced and, since she’s connected to them, her past has to be mysterious, too. Consequently, too much of this storyline required taking Rucka’s word for everything and so I had no emotional connection to it. It felt like seven issues of well-done plot hammering. Eh.

WOLVERINE: THE END #5: Not reviewing it because I haven’t read the others. But I did want to point out that page eight, where astral Xavier exposes his genitals to Logan while floating on an airplane wing, made me laugh—it’s like Nightmare at 20,000 Feet…only sexier! No review.

X-MEN #161: Looks like Austen is starting to put his toys back in the box (which seems smart since he’s got first-hand experience seeing how the editors deal with whatever’s left lying around). I’ve got the same problems with his work I usually do, but Larroca’s art bumps this issue up to OK, more or less.

YOUNGBLOOD: GENESIS #1: Ow. Between the art (having Rob Liefeld do your inking is a bit like having Jayson Blair do your fact-checking, isn’t it?) and the lettering (reads like NON-STOP YELLING), I’ve actually got a headache now. The “secret origin” plot is clever enough, I guess, but if there was a hook to bring me back for the next issue (it could well be that nobody can work with Liefeld and actually expect there to be a next issue), I missed it entirely. Because of the headache, I’ve got to give it an Awful.