Arriving 6/14/17

New AMERICAN GODS and SECRET EMPIRE alongside the newest version of Marvel's DEFENDERS, starring Luke Cage, Jessica Jones, Daredevil and Iron Fist from Brian Michael Bendis! Check the cut for the rest of this weeks new books!

ACTION COMICS #981 ALL NEW WOLVERINE #21 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN RENEW YOUR VOWS #8 ANDERSON DEEP END ONE SHOT BACK TO THE FUTURE #20 BATGIRL AND THE BIRDS OF PREY #11 BEN REILLY SCARLET SPIDER #3 BETTY & VERONICA BY ADAM HUGHES #3 BIRTHRIGHT #25 BITCH PLANET TRIPLE FEATURE #1 BLACK CLOUD #3 BLACK HOOD SEASON 2 #5 BLACK PANTHER CREW #3 BRIGGS LAND LONE WOLVES #1 BRUTAL NATURE CONCRETE FURY #4 (OF 5) BUG THE ADVENTURES OF FORAGER #2 (OF 6) CAPTAIN AMERICA SAM WILSON #23 SE CATALYST PRIME ACCELL #1 CINEMA PURGATORIO #10 COPPERHEAD #14 DAMNED #2 DARK DAYS THE FORGE #1 DARKNESS VISIBLE #5 DEADPOOL #32 SE DEFENDERS #1 DETECTIVE COMICS #958 DIRK GENTLY SALMON OF DOUBT #8 DONALD DUCK #21 DRAGON AGE KNIGHT ERRANT #2 DUNGEONS & DRAGONS FROST GIANTS FURY #3 FLASH #24 GENERATION X #3 GODSHAPER #3 GOTHAM ACADEMY SECOND SEMESTER #10 GRASS KINGS #4 GREEN VALLEY #9 (OF 9) GWENPOOL #17 HAL JORDAN AND THE GREEN LANTERN CORPS #22 HARROW COUNTY #24 HELENA CRASH #4 (OF 4) HULK #7 INVADER ZIM #20 JEM & THE HOLOGRAMS #26 JIMMYS BASTARDS #1 JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #8 KILL THE MINOTAUR #1 KIM REAPER #3 KINGPIN #5 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES BUGS BUNNY SPECIAL #1 MANIFEST DESTINY #29 MARTIAN MANHUNTER MARVIN THE MARTIAN SPECIAL #1 MINDBENDER #2 MISFIT CITY #2 MOTHER RUSSIA #1 (OF 3) MS MARVEL #19 NEIL GAIMAN AMERICAN GODS SHADOWS #4 NEW SUPER MAN #12 NORMANDY GOLD #1 OLD MAN LOGAN #25 OPTIMUS PRIME #8 PLANET OF APES GREEN LANTERN #5 PREDATOR VS JUDGE DREDD VS ALIENS #4 QUANTUM TEENS ARE GO #4 RAI HISTORY OF VALIANT UNIV #1 (OF 1) RED HOOD AND THE OUTLAWS #11 REGRESSION #2 REICH #7 (OF 12) ROSE #3 SCOOBY APOCALYPSE #14 SECRET EMPIRE #4 (OF 10) SECRET EMPIRE UNITED #1 SE SECRET WARRIORS #3 SE SHADOWS ON THE GRAVE #5 SOLAR FLARE #3 SONS OF THE DEVIL #13 SOVEREIGNS #2 SPACE RIDERS GALAXY OF BRUTALITY #2 SPONGEBOB COMICS #69 SPOOKHOUSE #5 STAR WARS #32 SUICIDE SQUAD #19 SUPERGIRL #10 SUPERWOMAN #11 THANOS #8 THERES NOTHING THERE #2 TITANS #12 TMNT ONGOING #70 TOMBOY #11 TRANSFORMERS SALVATION TRESPASSER #1 (OF 4) UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL #21 UNCANNY AVENGERS #24 SE VENOM #151 WEAPON X #4 WINNEBAGO GRAVEYARD #1 (OF 4) WONDER WOMAN #24 WORLD READER #3 X-MEN BLUE #5

Books/Mags/Things ADVENTURES OF SUPERHERO GIRL HC EXPANDED ED AFTER HOURS GN VOL 01 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN RENEW VOWS TP VOL 01 BRAWL IN FAMILY BATWOMAN BY GREG RUCKA AND JH WILLIAMS III TP BLACK PANTHER WORLD OF WAKANDA TP VOL 01 GIANT DAYS TP VOL 05 HAWKMAN BY GEOFF JOHNS TP BOOK 01 JACK KIRBY FOREVER PEOPLE ARTIST ED HC MAD ABOUT TRUMP TP MOTHER PANIC TP VOL 01 WORK IN PROGRESS MOTOR CRUSH TP VOL 01 MS MARVEL HC VOL 03 MYSTERIOUS GIRLFRIEND X GN VOL 06 NIGHTWING TP VOL 02 BACK TO BLUDHAVEN (REBIRTH) PLANTS VS ZOMBIES BATTLE EXTRAVAGONZO HC POP GUN WAR TP VOL 02 CHAIN LETTER RIPPLE HC PREDILECTION FOR TINA SHE WOLF TP VOL 02 SIXTH GUN TP VOL 01 COLD DEAD FINGERS (SQ1) SLAINE BRUTANIA CHRONICLES PSYCHOPOMP HC STRANGE ATTRACTORS TP SUMMER MAGIC COMP JOURNAL OF LUKE KIRBY GN TEEN TITANS TP VOL 01 DAMIAN KNOWS BEST (REBIRTH) TOMB RAIDER ARCHIVES HC VOL 02 VAGUE TALES HC VENOM TP VOL 01 HOMECOMING

As always, what do YOU think?

Arriving 6/7/17

Lots of endings this week! The final DARK KNIGHT III arrives, plus the final issues of REBORN from Millar and Capullo and Jason Aaron and Chris Bacahalo's last issue of DOCTOR STRANGE arrive! Check the rest of this weeks comics beneath the cut!

AB IRATO #2 (OF 6) ADVENTURE TIME #65 AGENTS OF PACT #2 ALL NEW GUARDIANS OF GALAXY #3 ALL TIME COMICS ATLAS #1 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #28 AMORY WARS GOOD APOLLO #3 (OF 12) AQUAMAN #24 AVENGERS #8 BABYTEETH #1 BALTIMORE THE RED KINGDOM #5 BANE CONQUEST #2 (OF 12) BATMAN #24 BLACK BOLT #2 BRAVE CHEF BRIANNA #4 BULLETPROOF COFFIN THOUSAND YARD STARE (ONE-SHOT) BULLSEYE #5 (OF 5) CANNIBAL #6 CHAMPIONS #9 CYBORG #13 DAREDEVIL #21 DARK KNIGHT III MASTER RACE #9 (OF 9) DC COMICS BOMBSHELLS #28 DEATHSTROKE #20 DIVIDED STATES OF HYSTERIA #1 DOCTOR STRANGE #20 DOCTOR WHO GHOST STORIES #3 (OF 4) DRIFTER #19 ETERNAL EMPIRE #2 EVERAFTER FROM THE PAGES OF FABLES #10 EXTREMITY #4 FAILSAFE #2 FAITH (ONGOING) #12 FALL AND RISE OF CAPTAIN ATOM #6 (OF 6) FISH EYE #4 FLINTSTONES #12 GAME OF THRONES CLASH OF KINGS #1 GIANT DAYS #27 GOLD DIGGER #243 GREEN ARROW #24 GREEN LANTERNS #24 GWAR ORGASMAGEDDON #1 (OF 4) HARLEY QUINN #21 HAWKEYE #7 ICEMAN #1 ICEMAN #1 SCOTT VAR INJECTION #13 INJUSTICE 2 #3 IRON FIST #4 JAMES BOND #4 JAZZ MAYNARD #1 JEM THE MISFITS #5 JESSICA JONES #9 JUSTICE LEAGUE #22 JUSTICE LEAGUE #22 MAGNUS #1 MARVEL COMICS DIGEST #1 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN MIGHTY MOUSE #1 MY LITTLE PONY LEGENDS OF MAGIC #3 NIGHTWING #22 NOVA #7 OUTCAST BY KIRKMAN & AZACETA #28 PAPER GIRLS #15 PLANETOID PRAXIS #5 (OF 6) PREDATOR HUNTERS #2 REBORN #6 (OF 6) REDLINE #4 ROCK CANDY MOUNTAIN #3 ROCKET #2 ROM #11 SAVAGE THINGS #4 (OF 8) SECRET EMPIRE BRAVE NEW WORLD #1 (OF 5) SE SHADE THE CHANGING GIRL #9 SPAWN #274 SPIDER-MAN #17 SPIDER-MAN DEADPOOL #18 STAR TREK NEW VISIONS TIME OUT OF JOINT STAR WARS DARTH VADER #1 STAR WARS ROGUE ONE ADAPTATION #3 (OF 6) STARSTRUCK OLD PROLDIERS NEVER DIE #5 (OF 6) STRAY BULLETS SUNSHINE & ROSES #24 STREET FIGHTER VS DARKSTALKERS #2 (OF 8) SUPERMAN #24 TRANSFORMERS LOST LIGHT #6 UNSOUND #1 UNSTOPPABLE WASP #6 WALKING DEAD #168 WONDER WOMAN STEVE TREVOR #1 X-MEN GOLD #5 YOUNGBLOOD #2 CVR A TOWE

Books/Mags/Things ABE SAPIEN TP VOL 09 LOST LIVES & OTHER STORIES AMAZING SPIDER-MAN EPIC COLLECTION TP KRAVENS LAST HUNT AMERICAN WAY 10TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION TP ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM GN VOL 16 BATMAN ZERO HOUR TP BELGIAN LACE FROM HELL HC VOL 03 CLAY WILSON BLACK CLOVER GN VOL 07 DC COMICS DARK HORSE BATMAN VS PREDATOR TP DEADLY HANDS OF KUNG FU OMNIBUS HC 02 JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA THE ROAD TO REBIRTH TP LAST AMERICAN TP LIFE & TIMES MARTHA WASHINGTON 21 CENTURY TP LUMBERJANES TO MAX ED HC VOL 03 MANGA IN THEORY & PRACTICE HC CRAFT CREATING ARAKI METABARONS GN VOL 02 (OF 4) AGHNAR AND ODA MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS TP VOL 03 NOTHING LASTS FOREVER TP SABRINA THE TEENAGE WITCH COMP TP 1962-1971 SO CUTE IT HURTS GN VOL 13 SPELL ON WHEELS TP SPIDER-MAN DEADPOOL TP VOL 02 SIDE PIECES STARDROP GN VOL 02 PLACE TO HANG MY SPACESUIT NEW PTG SUICIDE SQUAD TP VOL 02 GOING SANE TARANTULA HC TO HAVE AND TO HOLD GN TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN OMNIBUS PLUS HC WICKED & DIVINE TP VOL 05 IMPERIAL PHASE I WONDER WOMAN BY GEORGE PEREZ TP VOL 02 YONA OF THE DAWN GN VOL 06

As always, what do YOU think?

Don't Look Back. Don't Ever Look Back! Sometimes it's 2017!

 photo FireWorksNY_zpshx7h0r7t.jpgSHE WOLF by Rich Tommaso

Happy New Year from all aboard The Savage Critics! Okay, now look, it's a New Year so it's important we all get off on the right foot. We need some smiles, people!

Sure, I could let the continuing fascistic farce of BREXIT Britain bring me down...

 photo BrexitNYB_zpsckiodj7h.jpg V for VENDETTA by David Lloyd and Alan Moore

Or...I could accentuate the positive and look ahead to all the magical joys COMICS!!! have in store in 2017!

So chip in below and tell the world (well, the infinitesimal portion of the world that reads The Savage Critics) what's looking to brighten up your life in the twelve months ahead! Or don't. Free Will, yeah? So here are two to start you off:

 photo ChaykinNYB_zpsrxv5p9r0.jpg

 photo SWolfNYB_zpslqvlxqte.jpg

So what's got you 'orrible lot salivatin'? Oi, cheeky chops! Keep it to COMICS!!!

Happy New Year!

Abhay: 2016-- Another Year that I Mindlessly Consumed Oh God Oh God Make It Stop Uncle Uncle

Best-of Lists! Because when I think back on 2016, it's just going to be a highlight reel of movies and comics, and I'm probably going to remember sweet nothing-else. "I sat on a throne of Dirty Grandpa merch and played my fiddle while the world burned. Dance to my fiddle music, Oberon-- let the decadence set your feet alight! Twingly-twang-twang-twang-twang."

FAVORITE COMICS

I didn't want much to do with comics this year. A few times this year, I heard the old music playing in my head, but mostly, I'm a little exhausted.

I don't want to dilute out a list to get to 10 comics I don't feel strongly about. So: here's the top 5 that survived my apathy/melancholy.

5-- What is Evil by Benjamin Marra

Two pages. Sixteen panels. It's the efficiency of "What Is Evil", that gets me. How the panels and the words don't connect right-- a car comes up to a sign, but in the next panel when a man is walking by the sign, it only comes up to his knees. How the narration shifts tone when it goes from the sanity of the caption boxes at the top of a panel, to the insanity of the free-floating text at the bottom of a panel. How the final panel is this jagged cut to the present, with all the juicy bits of the story left in the gutters.

A descent into sin, and then a slow dawning realization that things have gone too far, a whole technicolor horror story for your head, all in two pages, sixteen panels.

4-- On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

I'm behind on this so maybe the later chapters prove me wrong, but...

A thing I've noticed about The Young People that I think is different from the Way Back When: there's a bunch of the young artists that seem to pay more attention to a kind of experience that is less about classic two-fisted comic-book conflict (good, evil; thrills, chills), drama or what have you, than a kind of serenity when you experience it. I see the indie game kids talk about self-care a lot when talking about their ideal experiences, in particular. I don't entirely know what that's about 100%, but I find it fascinating.

In comics, I find myself thinking about that with On a Sunbeam. There are dramatic events in the plot. If there's any question whether Walden has a drama gear, it would probably be answered by a bit in the 4th chapter where Walden cuts effectively between crescendo-events in two different timelines.

But the overall feeling I get from On a Sunbeam is more a sense of peace. It all sort of drifts through the air, seemingly in no hurry to get to any particular destination, all liminal, almost like a long sigh. The art's just a wisp of a line, delicately exploring science fantasy spaces. And its careful use of color-- Walden doesn't overload a page with color, usually only sticking to a few colors, and applying them only when appropriate, equally satisfied to leave white space on the page. It's relaxing just to look at-- it never feels like it's trying to impose.

Alternative cartoonists some years older than me all shot for this kind of anal-retentive quality in their work-- it was going to look exactly a certain way, and that was going to be true from tip to toe, line by line, panel after panel. On a Sunbeam feels no less deliberate about its choices, but the result is completely different. In a year where I think that other kind of comic would have felt truly suffocating, Walden's work felt like a breath of fresh air.

3-- Pascin by Joann Sfar

Here's a thing I like about Joann Sfar: he has a major part of his career that's been dedicated towards French artists who are super-good at getting laid. Picasso had his blue period? Well, Sfar has has had his French cocksman period. I know which I want to hear more about, so suck it, Pablo.

Pascin is about the painter Jules Pascin, but it's a biography focused a bit on sex. We meet characters that (I think) are the basis of Two Friends, and they're hookers who rush off to watch a Prefect "gobble" down a pot of piss at a whorehouse. Most of the time Pascin's talking about how he'd rather draw girls than have sex with them. The rest of the time, we follow Pascin's friends getting off instead of him-- fucking art models; fucking art mannequins; none of this is pornographic-- it's got stuff on it's mind, about art, violence, perversion, men. But still: it's a hoot, this comic.

Sfar's the star attraction, of course. This was all drawn back in the 90's apparently-- it's just how I like a comic to look. Ink's splashed and slashed onto a page; none of the drawings feel planned out, worried over, ruined by some egotistical desire to fuss over an image too much; it all seemed like it came to life on a drawing table, and they got it out to you with the ink still drying on the pages. It looked like a blast to make.

2-- Four Kids Walk into a Bank by Matthew Rosenberg, Tyler Boss, and Thomas Mauer

A comic that's funny still seems like a little miracle to me.

And sure, plenty of comics have been funny -- I hate any kinda review that does that "comics usually aren't __, but this one is!" shit, as if comics haven't been doing every-other-fucking-thing since gee-damn forever.

But it's a grind, comic book comedy: there's no audience to play off of; the physical lizard-brain reaction of watching a person acting foolish or outrageous, you don't get that with a comic; getting the timing on a comic generally is hard-- doing jokes (which are all about timing) on top of that???

I have this Old Man Conversation with folks sometimes, and it goes basically like this:

"Is it us? Maybe it's us. Maybe things are still great and we're just too old now. Maybe it's not them-- maybe it's us. Maybe we've seen it all and we're jaded now, and the comics are as good as they've ever been, and it's us, we're aging like a bowl of spaghetti that's been left out on a porch."

But then a comic comes along like 4 Kids that's funny, that's funny in a character-centric way, funny because it has characters you enjoy seeing interact with one another, funny because it's got dialogue with a voice to it, funny because it has rhythm...?

Here's what that means: IT'S NOT US! It's them!   It was them all along-- in the Hallway, with the lead pipe, I think I just won this game of Clue! If some comic I never heard of from some people I never heard of published by some yahoos whose name I can't remember can still stick the landing on a $4 serial comic-- IT'S THEM. And I'm going to be young forever!

1-- Sir Alfred by Tim Hensley

I've written about this comic a couple times this year. It's a sort of biography of Alfred Hitchcock, or of the legend of Alfred Hitchcock at least. It's hard to say, which is what I like about this comic so much: it's a cartoon about a real-life person ... but a real-life person who had in our collective memory of him already become a sort of cartoon.

What was the "real" Alfred Hitchcock like? I wouldn't pretend to know -- but I know that I do have a fictional Alfred Hitchcock in my head, an amalgamation of biography, anecdotes, rumors, and a mythology that Hitchcock himself purposefully created as part of his marketing. I know that Hitchcock isn't the "real" Hitchcock -- but at some point, does it matter that I "know" that? Does it make a difference if the Alfred Hitchcock that's really "alive" for me is my fake version?

And isn't that process true not just of Hitchcock, but almost every historical figure? Isn't it true of people right now, alive right now-- what's the difference between how people think about celebrities, politicians, our various elites and a cartoon character?

The comic strips featured in Sir Alfred are funny, cute, gag strips of a kind that comics used to truck in more frequently in the way, way back when. But behind that funny surace is a sort of bigger and more troubling concern: how time and speed boil down every human being until they've become two-dimensional, symbols, sketches more than flesh, blood. And consequentially, how little we know about each other or can connect with each other, ultimately.

Hensley's comics, for me, it's how they unpack in my head after I've read them. None of them are inscrutable or mystery boxes -- at the beginning, there's a certain amount of confusion about what he's up to, why he'd bothered, why so much precision is being directed towards recreating a vernacular held in such disregard (and probably correctly so). But by the end, they all make sense for me. There's a point where his work just unfurls, blossoms, and some bigger thematic picture eeks out from its cocoon-- a thematic picture that's thorny and interesting but always presented in a way that's light-hearted, joke-y, tongue firmly in cheek, and deeply of comics.

His work is just about the best thing going.

HONORARY MENTION

World War 3, published by Ace Comics in 1953, authors unknown.

The comic I got most tickled by this year, an oldie-but-goodie that I'd just noticed had been floating around the internet for years, not nearly trumpeted enough. More the very first story in the comic, "World War 3 Unleashed", than the follow-ups.

But that first one...

It's just panel after panel of bangers.

Crazy-making sincere. Heartless. Paranoid. Dirty-feeling.

There's something that just feels stupid and wrong about it.

So, yeah: this is the good shit.

Apocalypse-comics fans might also want to check out Sneak Attack from Ace Comics 1952 publication's Atomic War #1:

There is an alternate history of comics where little kids in 1952 and 1953 realized which way was up and got behind Ace Comics in a big way.

Easy money says that history would have been 10,000 times more rad.

WORST COMICS

I'm looking through my notes of what I read this year. Nothing jumps out as especially bad, as especially upsetting. I didn't care enough to get angry about anything, which makes me sad, but.

Mostly, my notes reflect that reading comics in 2016 for me was mostly a story about an oppressive tedium. Of feeling asleep. Of wanting to read stuff that'd wake me up. Of wondering if there was something wrong with me. And just wading through a whole bunch of yawns, trying to find something to care about.

If I'd read a bunch of Marvel comics, I'd be talking about Marvel comics. But I mostly read a bunch of Image Comics.

So my notes are filled with (and this all very nearly verbatim) "Renato Jones: The One -- that was a pile of shit; just really fucking dumb" and "Seven to Eternity: shitty-- like a grocery-store fantasy novel ... underwhelming" and "Velvet: did something go wrong?" and "Sex Criminals: the creators showed up in-comic ala Grant Morrison's Animal Man except to talk about a tumblr post??" and "The Fix: I was just really bored for 95% of it. It was sort of like 'oh yeah this is what I've been avoiding'" and "Why can't Image publish more comics for 9-11 truthers?"

I'm not sure what the common denominator to all these things are, besides me. I wasn't a good audience this year. I wasn't interested in people telling their little stories.

So: worst thing about reading comics I guess this year was me, the reader...???

Well, not counting all the scumbags at DC and Dark Horse. And not counting that time comic people were full-throated yelling how "Devin Faraci is right -- all you comic fans are scum-- we deserve better than you" and then it IMMEDIATELY turned out Faraci had sexually assaulted a girl -- nice choice of hero bros whooopsie-doopsie. And not counting that time Jack Davis and Richard Thompson died on the same day-- not counting the fucking Grim Reaper. And not counting that time Peter David went gonzo-racist at a convention.

Actually, looking at my list again, maybe the worst thing in comics was just Image Comics full-stop, because man, Renato Jones-- that really was pretty terrible-- that was just stone dumb. I felt pretty embarrassed for the entire mother-loving Planet Earth, reading that sucker. Image Comics could have stopped that from happening.

Image Comics could have done something, said something, told somebody!

Yeah. Yeah, I want to change my answer-- I'm never the problem! I'm going to be young forever!

FAVORITE MOVIES

Never saw: Ex Machina, Midnight Special, Hell or High Water, Always Shine, Moonlight, Silence, Manchester by the Sea, or 20th Century Women.

Here's what I dug:

10. Don't Breathe

This slot was never going to go to Arrival or Toni Erdmann or Nocturnal Animals-- I just wasn't too into any of those movies (Animals, in particular, I had zero use for). It could've gone to 13 Hours or my beloved, beloved Now You See Me 2, but I saw this flick the other night-- and I'm not really a horror guy, but I just thought it was a gas. I just thought it was a fun little horror-thriller flick that hit exactly the mark it had set out to hit-- except for one scene which was too stupid for words.

Sure, probably an easy movie to dismiss, but I particularly liked how it was all visual storytelling, all editing, all about these physical performances, instead of just gore or knife-kills or whatever. It felt more like a kung fu flick or a dance movie that way. Plus, look: the premise just makes me laugh.

9. Circle

This was a movie that turned up on Netflix in 2016. I'd never heard of it. I had no idea what it was about. I just put it on randomly, completely randomly, while I was cooking up some food-- I like to put stuff on for noise because I'm slow at cooking, not being very good at it. It didn't even sound like anything I'd like-- I just remember thinking the Netflix images looked weird.

So this was a memorable movie experience for me. Terrible acting-- I mean, terrible. Right on the nose metaphors. An abject lack of subtlety. A not particularly well executed episode of a Twilight Zone vibe to it all.

But I totally bought in. It got me at the right time. It got me at the right place. I got suckered in. It had a cool idea, and then I laughed when I saw where it took it.

Was Arrival a better movie than this, say? Absolutely. But two-thirds of the way into Arrival, I left my seat to go to the bathroom, and I took my sweet time while I was gone. I wasn't in any hurry to get back. I don't like lists that are like "here's my pronouncement from the mountain tops" -- I just like to rank the experiences...? This was one of my favorite ones.

(Though from an experience standard, I walked out of Now You See Me 2 higher than just about any other fucking thing, but ... I just can't even pretend that's because it's a "Great movie" so much as just how that movie filled me with a great love for humanity, that humanity managed to make a Now You See Me 2, at all. For me, Woody Harrelson playing dual roles as his own evil twin brother whose magical gibberish-powered hypnosis powers somehow rival his own was a small step for man, but a giant leap for mankind...)

8. Shin Godzilla

What is more boring and takes fewer risks than franchise movies?

So, I was so happy how this took this old, storied franchise and repurposed it to make a movie about bureaucracy. Godzilla doesn't fight Megalon-- Godzilla fights a department of office workers.

My favorite shot in action movies is when a camera slowly pans over a table full of guns, that swagger of filmmakers telling the audience they mean business. This movie had those shots-- for photocopiers, staples, file folders.

This movie's directors created a formula when they worked at an anime studio named Gainax:  (a) take a classic science fiction nerd-genre and (b) insert the characters you'd LEAST want handling fantastical threats, the least qualified, the most inept.  Which is clever:  it makes you have to root more for the good guys to win.  Good-looking people don't need you to root for them -- God already rooted for them.  But wastoids?  You better go buy some pom-poms.

Seeing them use that formula here, watching them figure out that the people you'd least want to see fight Godzilla are modern bureaucrats... The results were wildly imperfect, sometimes astonishingly boring, but overall, I just found watching that formula in action for a Godzilla movie invigorating.

Because if you believe it doesn't matter that "it's all been done before," if you believe that things having been "done before" shouldn't stop artists from being creative and finding new places to take things, if you believes those things, well, then these are dark times. And Shin Godzilla's a nice rare sigh of relief.

7. Green Room

I think one of the characters says the word "meatgrinder" out loud, which sort of sums up the whole appeal and aesthetic of this movie. Relentless; unsympathetic; heart of ice.

A pretty-much-all-British cast plays American nazis, and it doesn't matter because the real star is an adorable puppy and the healing power of music. Mr. Holland's Opus finally has the unauthorized-but-equally-uplifting sequel we were all waiting for.

6. High Rise

Kinda feels stupid to say a lot about this movie. It's not really a subtle one. It'd be like writing an essay about that time I got punched in the eye. I got punched in the eye- it felt a certain way-- the end.

5. Nerve

This was my favorite trailer this year-- I laughed and laughed and laughed. So when the movie came out, I went to check it out, expecting to just giggle and shake my heads and go "oh those kids, with their teen romance internet-thrills party movies...".

At some point during this movie, did I stop laughing at it and start going along with it completely? Did it win me over and I had to go "no this isn't something to laugh at-- I care too much about these characters"?

No. No, the reason I like Nerve so much is that by the end, I 100% cared about the characters, but I never ever ever stopped laughing at this movie. It did both those things simultaneously.

4. Hail, Caesar!

My favorite writer-directors on fuck-around gag mode. A lot of people hated this one-- underrate it, I think, though it certainly has its imperfections (I'd have liked more of a resolution for Alden Ehrenreich's character, though it's hard to guess if the Coens knew they'd gotten lucky on that casting). But where I think they lost a lot of people is that it's a gag movie, but they never really spell out the gag for people. You just have to key into this movie's wavelength, on this one.

I think the gag is this: the movie is like one of those Fables shows where fairy tales are all real and talking to one another-- you know, Once Upon A Time, Little Red Riding Hood Except Modern, ABC's What's Bleeding Into My Underwear, etc. But instead of being about old-school fairy tales, it's about the mythology of the Golden Age of Hollywood. What if every myth about that time was true? "The cowboys are the good guys. The studio boss is a tough guy with a heart of gold looking out for his talent. Danny Kaye's got a hairy back. The famous movie actress is a brassy dame who just needs to find a nice, normal boy and settle down. The writers are all stinking commies."

It's a movie about a movie about religion that's actually a movie about the religion of movies. It's the Coens throwing around big silly set pieces (e.g., Channing Tatum tap-dancing) where they tell you flat-out how the set piece hokey, they ain't hiding the hokiness ... but they also know you can't help but like the set piece anyways. Because sure, it's silly, but what's the alternative? In the Coen universe, the alternative always tends to be sitting in a Chinese restaurant looking at a photo of a Bomb.

Plus, the Ralph Fiennes scene is probably the funniest scene all year.

3. Swiss Army Man

Daniels!! I have loved this music video directing team for years and years-- and it was exciting that their big screen debut continued in the themes that had made their music video work so exciting. Namely, Daniels does body horror comedies.

Example: this movie's better known by the internet as "the farting corpse movie."

There aren't a ton of body horror comedies-- there's Splash. There's some Steve Martin movies. There's all the body-flip comedies, or movies where men wake up as women or whatever. But most of the body horror comedies really skimp on the horror bits. Most don't involve a corpse.

Not for everybody. One, farting corpse. Two, it's the kind of thing people who like it will call whimsical and people who hate it will call twee as fuck hipster shit. But Daniels just commits so fully to the body horror, the confusion, this premise, these characters, that they end up with a movie about self-acceptance that I don't think more timid artists could match.

Self-acceptance is some tricky shit to think about; tricky shit to talk about; maybe boldness is required.

2. Hypernormalisation

A three hour Adam Curtis documentary released before the election about the last 40 years of history, with consideration paid especially to Libya, Syria, Trump and Putin. It's just helpful because Curtis tries to focus on, articulate and explain something that people tend to overlook or dismiss or take for granted while treating things like a horse race-- that things have stopped making sense.

The pitch: Hypernormalisation is a term that describes how before the fall of the Soviet Union, people knew that something was wrong with their system, but accepted all the wrong as "normal" anyways-- until it all collapsed. Now, our own system, horrible things happen-- financial crises, wars based on fake intelligence, control slipping away from ordinary people in countless ways-- but nothing changes and no one is held accountable. And we all know there's something wrong with that, but we also just accept it as normal.

The movie tries to explain what happened. I don't know if it succeeds 100%.  But that's a heck of a goal.   As a particularly disorienting example, after you see it, Trump winning feels like it makes sense, at least narratively. I don't know if I'd describe that as comforting...? But the movie takes a stab at a real and sane explanation for what's happening, which seems to be in short supply.

Plus: I just think it's fun as a movie. Curtis puts on some tunes, and shows some Jane Fonda workout videos. The way he makes these isn't some dull lecture or dumbed-down Michael Moore harangue. He just washes footage over the viewer-- sometimes making points or telling smaller stories that don't seem germane to his points (a stretch about a Japanese gambler, say)-- and lets the cumulative effect say what it has to: we're fucking suckers.

1. The Nice Guys

Audiences didn't go. There probably won't be more like this in a while, so I went twice. The audience gasped the same gasps in the same places both times. I feel like this is closer to the kinds of movies I really loved as a kid than that Rogue One, than any of these big noisy movies, but this movie failing, maybe that's the death knell. That's some horn sounding. Time to die.

I don't get it. I just thought there was everything to like about this one.

Shane Black, finally resurrecting a script I'd read years and years ago, "the Lost Shane Black movie."

Shane Black on full-on unapologetic Shane Black mode.

Russel Crowe, finally in an action movie I can get behind -- I wasn't into Gladiator, so I've been waiting for that since LA Confidential.

Ryan Gosling, playing one of Black's damaged hero characters-- throwing all his charm and likability behind a shitty alcoholic dad who'd destroyed his family and his life, someone the audience would have every reason to hate... and pulling it off.

Detectives. Mystery. Girls on the run. Keith David.

Los Angeles.

HONORARY MENTION

No one told me about Michael Keaton bravura performance, in a room all by himself in 2014's Need for Speed, playing a street race enthusiast podcast billionaire.

Did he win the Oscar for Need for Speed? Technically no-- he won in 2014 for Birdman, and the Infinite Sadness. But did some Oscar voters see his performance in Need for Speed, and realize that voting for Keaton for that dopey movie was their only way to reward true excellence?

My gut says yes.

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJuX_ewdAhU[/embed]

Here is Feel the Need for Speed, my loving 12 minute fan-edit of Need for Speed. I made a fan-edit because I don't know how to sculpt marble. Or what a Need for Speed marble sculpture would even look like.

"I look at a giant block of marble and I cut away everything that doesn't feel the Need for Speed." -Michelangelo, sculptor/party dude.

WORST MOVIE

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call.

I had this thing I believed: that people had been programmed by their society with ideas, beliefs, thoughts that were external to them; that this was wrong-- that any meaningful freedom includes being free of any kind of external brainwashing; that this programming included a lot of ideas about men and women that were really pretty silly if you spent any time thinking about them, all gussied up with bullshit psuedo-science-- but ideas that are also unfortunately profitable to some terrible fucking monsters; that if people talked to each other about those silly ideas, and how those silly ideas get taught, reinforced, expressed (including culturally), that this was good because it could get people to question their programming, and more cognizant of how grotesque people are profitting from that programming.

And that sure, sometimes those conversations could get pretty messy, but people were challenging themselves and helping each other realize their programming, and well, that was worth some headaches.

That was what I believed.

But then, this fucking Ghostbusters movie happened.

Yes, yes, yes-- some of the worst people in the world were obnoxious about this movie.  Anime nazis were angry, and it's fun to make fun of them since they're so mentally damaged and unfuckable. And YES, they were obnoxious for stupid-ass reasons-- some made-up nonsense about childhoods they've plainly needed to outgrow for a long, long time.

But this time, a machinery responding to those folks really went into overdrive.  And what it felt like for me at least, was that something broke. Something went totally out of control.

I felt like there were parts of the internet where every day, a few times a day, you would see people sarcastically ranting how anyone-- ANYONE, not just anime nazis, anyone-- who didn't want to see this movie, had any issue with this movie, had any doubt that this movie was a good idea ... was flawed, corrupted, broken, misogynist. All Men Unenthusiastic About Watching Middle Age Women Ghostbust were SCUM. And this machinery that wanted to incessantly parade this unearned sarcasm, they were the ONLY GOOD PEOPLE awake to how the world should really be.

Why, they were going to see Ghostbusters TWICE so that they could drink the tears of All Males Ever.  

It wasn't fun sarcasm -- it wasn't persuasive sarcasm -- it was a grinding, repulsive sarcasm.  And I enjoy sarcasm.  I was sarcastic once, many years ago, and I think it went well, except for the punching and the crying and the running.  But this, it just felt like it was incessant.  And misguided.

"We need more female-lead action-comedy franchises" is worth fighting for. It's weird there aren't more of those. But a Ghostbusters remake? Worth fighting for?  "Big budget special effects-driven remake that is intended to transform preexisting property into a multi-revenue stream franchise that will invariably crowd original ideas out the marketplace" seems self-evidently too tainted at the outset to argue that it has much moral progress to it.

There is a distinction there that I think people started to ignore, that got drowned out, that somehow became "besides the point." And none of this seemed honest after a while. The first trailer looked like shit? The sarcasm grew louder. The second trailer looked like worse shit? The sarcasm grew louder. The movie bombed? "Well, the Democrats will play it on a jumbotron during the inauguration, so take that, patriarchy!"

I remember at one point, every single one of these people on the internet stopped and in unison started screaming at ONE WHOLE RANDOM YAHOO who put out a youtube video saying he didn't want to see the Ghostbusters movie. One guy! One entire guy putting out one entire Youtube video! But a crowd of people: "How dare one entire guy dissent?? EEEEEEEEEE."

How did that level of insecurity and moral panic come to seem healthy and normal to so many people?

This all felt like it stopped being about people questioning their programming, or trying to provoke other people into questioning theirs. And it became something else.  "I'm a feminist who's going to beat all the other men at feminism and win the feminism trophy. You can bet with that mentality, I've always treated all kinds of women with respect!" -- Devin Faraci and an all-star calvacade of the internet's shittiest dudes. (SPOILER WARNING:  No).   Are these My-Brand-Is-Fightin'-for-the-Ladies He-Men Oh-Whoops-They're-Creepos an aberration, or an inevitability in this context?

This would have been a toxic conversation around a good movie.  But the Ghostbusters movie wasn't a good movie, not by a mile, which made it all the worse.

It wasn't funny.  It wasn't fun. The characters mostly weren't memorable. The racial politics were not ideal (which was made pretty unavoidably noticeable considering, you know, everything else).  Some of the biggest gags in the movie were lame and dull and missed any kind of mark (e.g., Hemsworth). The villain stunk-- a complete drag; unnecessary, uninteresting, not compelling. It didn't get at all what made the original work, but replaced that with no new insight or worthy angle on the material.  The story was sluggish and uninvolving. Too many special effects rather than comedy ideas. Too much corporate franchise fan service-- "Here's a scene where the Ghostbusters' logo gets created! Here's a scene where we explain how they get a hearse! Here are cameos, cameos, cameos, instead of spending time taking characters you care about through a meaningful story."

Fans talked up one particular action scene, but it only lasted approximately 10 seconds, 5 of which were in the trailer.

It was a slog to get through-- it was unpleasant and unentertaining to watch.

I hear infant girls like it because it taught them they can someday ghost-bust. That's nice. But that could've happened with a movie with functioning jokes in it. This movie had Debarge references instead.

Would this have been a more palatable movie without this horrible stew that got cooked up around it (and again, yes, a stew that really got fired up because of ludicrous and hideous-souled anime nazis overreacting to Ghostbuster casting)?  Was watching this movie poisoned by the conversation?  I think.  But I don't think I'd have even seen the movie but for that conversation either.  I'd have steered pretty far clear after that second trailer, entirely.

Look, there's no question one side was worse in this-- involuntarily celibate anime fans have all decided to be nazis now; they love something called Rourouni Kenshoo and hate minorities; I don't claim to fully understand it.  But in the long-term, this Ghostbusters "over-correct" didn't feel like it was just a one-off aberration. It felt like a horrible New Normal. Maybe that was just because of the election (where that same sarcasm was undeniably present -- PS another bellyflop, The Good People: 0 for 2 in 2016); but I have doubts that's true. Sure, the implications of all this may not have me as worried as NAZIS-- NAZIS kinda skew things. But it's still not really in the neighborhood of good. It's not desirable.

And it's far, far off from where I'd hoped things would go, which is people waking up to the fact that we've all been victimized, we are all the playthings of sinister people very intent on manipulating us to fight each other so we keep ignoring them, and that we are all letting those sinister folks win when we play the games they've very much programmed us to play.

Counterpoint:

So that's another possible explanation for why I didn't like seeing Kate McKinnon dance around meaninglessly to Debarge.  Who's to say...

FAVORITE TELEVISION

10. Line of Duty-- Final Episode, Season 3

I hadn't seen seasons 1 or 2 of this British crime drama-- I hadn't heard anything too good. But I just skipped to Season 3 after seeing fans react to a moment online-- a bit with a text message.

The rest of the show's got good bits and weak bits-- a little generic overall. But the text message was worth it. And even if that hadn't been there, look, the whole experience was worth it because it brought the dude pictured above into my life, definitely my favorite character of 2016. He's a constantly-disapproving head police-type guy who is frowning and very upset with every other character on this show because they let him down.

I don't know that I've ever seen a dude on TV be better at being disappointed by other people as this guy is.

I don't want to follow this guy's adventures in a TV show. I want more than that. I want this guy to come to a gym with me, and yell at me if I don't work out hard enough. I want an alarm clock app of this guy waking me up, by telling me that my father expected more from me. I want him to be able to push a button that randomly slaps food from out of my mouth at random and unexpected intervals. I want him to show up Max Headroom-style on Pornhub, and set me straight on the birds and the bees.  That's what I'm paying the license fee for, Queen Fancypants, so tell the Beeb to get on it and make that happen!

9. BrainDead -- "Notes Towards a Post-Reagan Theory"

When I've forgotten most of the TV on this list, I think I'm still going to remember the sex scene in this episode. There's an explanation for what's going on but I suspect it's just as good to wath it without that explanation.

8. The Good Place - "Jason Mendoza"

This year a lot of people fell in love with Westworld, a show with slow, long running storylines that gradually moseyed their way to some pretty obvious twists. And I was okay with Westworld, I guess. But for serialized television, I think the better game in town is this NBC sitcom.

Each episode has built on the previous ones, and the twists for me have been more unexpected, more satisfying, especially in this episode where the audience gets to meet Jason Mendoza.

Plus: the thing I got annoyed by sometimes with Parks & Rec was how everyone became such goody goodies over time. But I kinda dig how that's this whole show's schtick. I dig that they turned into the skid, rather than try to be something they're not. They hired Kristen Bell-- almost all the characters by definition are great people-- one character literally starts giving lessons in how to be a good person on this show. And it works. I think it's fun. At least, I want to find out what happens next more on this show than I ever did with the cowboy one, where I mostly just rooted for nudity.

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MubunsD-7g[/embed]

7. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog's Election Specials

"I'd rather hear stuff like that than your little foo-foo tag lines that don't make sense."

For me, there was approximately ZERO good televised political comedy this year, besides these Triumph shows.  (Well, and the Eric Andre convention videos).

6. Gilmore Girls - "Summer"

I think this is the fans' least favorite episode because it has a half-hour musical in it about incest and Stars Hollow, but this one is my favorite episode because it has a half-hour musical in it about incest and Stars Hollow.

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YeCpHoy9EQ[/embed]

5. Cunk on Shakespeare

"That's the basic difference between Hamlet and Taken -- Liam Neeson makes up his mind."

4. Black Mirror-- "San Junipero"

A fast, all-thrills episode? No. Predictable? I guess, if that matters.

But I just liked the big technicolor emotions of this one. All the adolescent swooning and the teen ache of it. The Saved by the Bell aesthetics and the way characters's big intellectual stances don't so much change as just sort of erode-- heart vs. brains, brains are going to lose that every time.

I liked that Black Mirror put all of what Mallory Ortberg calls "what if phones, but too much?" of the show aside, and just went for this romance-- and that it made a counter-argument to the other episodes about technology, the way all the dystopias Charlie Brooker has posited might all be worth it because of how technology has let people who've been denied a voice find people and places where they can belong, how the spiritual-emptiness of of technology can sometimes be its biggest blessing, considering what absolute twats "spiritual-minded" people can be.

And I like that it was this frilly love story without for me at least (and mileage varies on this one) being too, too saccharine-- because the episode leaves space for the hard bits. There's other people in that episode who do not seem like happy people-- the long term prospects of those characters seem like they might end up being pretty sinister. It leaves space for the idea that we might be lucky to be leaving the characters at their happiest moment, that there's reason for concern ahead, that nothing's perfect forever.

I like that it's not a perfect ending-- imperfect endings are usually the happiest endings most of us can manage.

3. The Girlfriend Experience-- "Blindsided"

The fun of the Girlfriend Experience: it's a show about watching a woman who 99% of the time is completely opaque about what she's thinking or feeling, insincere, lying, while she has sex, for money, while also working as an intern at a prestigious law firm. The character never tells you what she's thinking -- and if you think she does, she's usually playing you.

Riley Keough plays the woman, and pulls off the bit the show really needed for it to have worked: you have to believe there's something underneath that opaque surface, something dark, something fucking angry. She had to give the viewer some reason to want to keep watching to see if when that surface cracked, what would be underneath. I don't know anything about acting, but it seemed like a pretty impressive trick to me, anyways, Keough's work here.

I don't want to spoil the show, but "Blindsided" is the episode where that surface cracks the most. It doesn't last for very long-- this isn't the final episode of the series by any means, though it definitely feels like it as it's happening. But the most the show gives the viewer usually is just getting to watch as something clicks behind Keough's eyes, some lizard-brain instincts kicking in. And that's not this episode. They give the viewer a little more to watch on this one.

2. Documentary Now -- "Parker Gail's Location is Everything"

This is the only thing on any of these lists I've seen like 4-5 times, that I made it a point to rewatch and rewatch and rewatch and rewatch.

I loved those Spalding Grey movies in college, so a parody as loving and exact and affectionate and critical and dubious as this was +1,000,000 to start out with for me. But even setting that aside, this was just a great half hour of comedy -- peak Bill Hader, John Mulaney work on the script; just that same thing that made the Grey movies so great-- getting to just watch a guy behind a table tell a crazy story, without any clutter, the inherent energy of that. For something so short, there's an awful lot I could point to that makes it great (e.g., the ways they find to blow up the Grey formula).

Documentary Now wasn't my favorite show in the first season. I admire the amount of weird comedy Fred Armisen has put out into the world, but I'm still not fast to sign up as a huge Armisen fan, for different reasons. The jokes tended to be a little too cutesy, and not have much teeth to them, except for maybe the Blue Jeans Committee two-parter. But the second season I thought became more effective -- with this episode; with the season finale, another Hader-Mulaney joke machine, recreating the Kid Stays in the Picture.

 

1. Fleabag -- Final Episode

I've just talked and talked about this show, but it's my favorite anything this year. I liked this more than any of the movies or comics listed above, anyways. It just ...

It's not one thing. Sometimes it's depressing; sometimes it's funny; sometimes it's kind; sometimes it's cruel. It's dirty; it's silly; it's got real sadness to it. It's sympathetic-- I didn't feel like it was a judgmental show, which is where a lesser version could have so easily gone wrong. None of the supporting characters know they're supporting characters-- all of them seem like they're trying to muddle through, same as the main character, even characters you assume are completely insignificant when you first meet them.

It's all anchored by the show's very likable writer/star, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, who just always seems to go all out (though in certain respects, maybe not as much as the curry scene from Crashing-- like from a laundry perspective, at least?). And I just like how it just kept poking at the audience. "How do you feel about the main character? Oh. Well, NOW, how do you feel about the main character? Oh. Well, okay, okay, NOW how do you feel about the main character?"

There's never one answer, except by the end, just wanting her to be okay, just wanting her to be okay.

HONORARY MENTION

I mostly just watched a lot of Psych this year, though.

WORST TV

John Oliver - The Post-election Episode

What does a comedy show do when life stops being funny?

The team at John Oliver had a brilliant answer to that question: also stop being funny, at all, don't even try to be funny, forget being a comedy show, and instead spend a half hour lecturing viewers like they were stupid children about how they should subscribe to the New York Times, America's leading source for fake news in the run-up to the Iraq War, like that'll do any goddamn thing whatsoever.

Or wait-- tell people to just repeat "this isn't normal" because that's what we need-- more viral content. "Make America Drumf again. Say 'this isn't normal a bunch,' like a braying jackass. Star Wars Kid dancing! Memes!"

It's not that sincerity is the enemy. Stephen Colbert was sincere on election night and watching him react to the news in real time restored a lot of my enthusiasm for that guy that had gotten lost when I was watching him try to be Carson, Letterman, someone he wasn't.  I'm back on board with Colbert because he let himself be a human being, having human being shit happen on his face.

That last Oliver show wasn't vulnerable. It was just more partisan rancor. Which just seems like the opposite of vulnerability.

And the tragedy is how that rancor has ruined the show for me to some extent. When Oliver started, the thing that made it thrilling for me at least was that he wasn't talking about the news of the day -- there were other stories going on, that most people were ignoring, and he could take this platform HBO had given him, and refocus people on something besides the one-issue carnivals of the rest of the media.

There was an episode about chicken farming. Municipal violations. Stadiums. Food waste. Civil asset forfeiture. The world is filled with so many important issues that go ignored, or only get "reported" in the most boring way possible, the easiest way to tune out possible. Oliver felt valuable.

And they threw that all away so they could yell Drumpf over and over into people's silly bubbles. Do you believe the exact same shit all your friends do? Congratulations on John Oliver destroying all right wing people ever-- there aren't any more right wing people anymore, he destroyed half, and Samantha Bee screeched the other half of them into oblivion. You win (warning: side effects of right wing people being "destroyed" may include you losing all power everywhere to right wing people in every possible capacity).

They turned a funny show that I think was doing something genuinely exciting into just more impotent noise. By the end, there weren't any jokes. There wasn't anything to laugh about. People who probably do need to hear about payday loans, public defenders, financial advisers, etc. had a reason to turn off, tune out, dismiss. And not enough people were persuaded for any of it to have been even a little worth it.

Total failure.

FAVORITE GAMES

I don't really like to talk about the fact I like games, because I'm at an age where it feels like a shameful thing to like. But this has been a pretty damn great year for games. AAA games, Indie games, weird online gag-games-- it's just kind of been an unusual embarrassment of riches. Here were the high-points for me:

10 - Can You Have Sex with the President of the United States?

A Clickhole choose-your-own-adventure novel finally asked the question that I've always wanted to know the answer to.

The answer was yes.

This was all way more fun to imagine before Trump, though. Did Rouropo Kooshi didn't warn you about that, anime nazis?  Did it??

9 - Quadrilateral Cowboy

Brendon Chung's hacking game-- a quick cyberpunk puzzle romp, but one that swerves at the very end away from all those hijinx and lands somewhere very sweet, very gentle. I liked that the hacking cyberpunk puzzle game ended on such a human note.

8 - Dishonored 2.

Playing this now. I never played Dishonored 1, and the game's overarching story seems like some pretty dopey nonsense-- you're playing a character desperate to continue subjugating the poors under some kind of feudal monarchy. That isn't a fantasy I've ever personally gotten much juice out of.

But that's just the game's story-- the player's story is loads better than that. It all takes place in this gorgeous high-budget game world where every inch of it feels fussed over, layered, attended to with fake histories, hidden narratives, incidental world-building. And the game encourages you not to kill, so if you play along, each encounter can become a suspenseful rush with a million things that can go wrong. If you want to play along. Or you can go in guns blazing. Or you can sneak past everybody. And so on-- the game lets the player choose their own story to an impressive degree, and the rest of the game seems remarkably responsive to the choices the player makes.

7 - Oxenfree

Comics' Adam Hines (Duncan the Wonder-Dog) and a small team of gamedevs put out this small adventure game this year. Not everything about the story worked, but ... Other games have tried to focus on dialogue, but usually you kinda just try to skip past the dialogue as fast as possible to get back to the bits where you can play. With Oxenfree, they managed to have the dialogue not be so much at the expense of gameplay. Which made interacting with the characters feel like a reward for a change, or the point, instead of some box to check, a chore to get to the next level.

6 - Hitman--Sapienza

Hitman was sold on an episode-by-episode basis unless you bought a season pass. And when the first episode came out, I remember thinking they were in trouble because there was so many things wrong with how that game felt. Most notably, there were these crippling load times, that made experimenting and trying different things way too hard. It was kind of a bummer.

But then the second Hitman episode came out, Sapienza. All the things wrong with the first one? Still true of the second episode. The load times are horrendous. Except Sapienza is just such a superb level. It's this entire Italian resort town, filled with these little narratives that you can interact with; disrupt. Tourists watch a clown perform. Churchgoers pray quietly at pews. Family yell at each other from their apartments. Buddies have lunch with each other. Cooks stir spaghetti sauce. Fishermen stand at docks, and wait for a tug on their line.

It just feels good to walk around Sapienza.

5 - Firewatch

This game was all about being a lonely fire-lookout employee in 1980's Wyoming, and interacting with another, more senior employee by radio. Pretty to look at thanks to contributions from painter Olly Moss; well acted thanks to a cast that included Mad Men's Rich Sommer. Yes: the story had major issues. But getting to play this "relationship" with the other firewatch employee felt new and the execution on at least the relationship I thought was surprisingly strong.

4 - Stardew Valley

Oh god. This game was the time evaporator. It's a farm simulator. Which is never a genre I thought I would be into. But I just spent hour after hour blissed out, growing imaginary fruit and buying coffee for the lonely people in my imaginary farm town.

I think what got me so invested was just the beginning. The game opens with a character in a cubicle who hates their life, throwing their hands up and moving to the family farm to get away from modern life. So everything in the game is built around that idea that you've escaped something when you play it-- the escapism is just soaked into the premise.

3 - Uncharted 4

Naughty Dog makes my favorite games, and I thought this one was another big step forward. And the last scene landed perfect with me.

2 - Kentucky Route Zero Act 4

Just the most interesting games being built re: writing, themes, world.

1 - Inside

I just thought this was a perfect game.

I like Journey more but that's the only thing I'd even think to compare it to.

WORST GAME

No Man's Sky.

 

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvAwB7ogkik[/embed]

SKETCHES AND SHORT INTERNET VIDEOS

5. 110 Year Old Woman Flossie Dickey.

4. The Answers.

3. Donald Trump and Jimmy Fallon are Best Friends.

2. Eric Andre at the RNC.

1. Kenzo World - the New Fragrance.

Yummy Yummy Abhay!

You probably don't really need me linking to THE COMICS JOURNAL for you, but in case you haven't seen it, Abhay has an epic threefour-part journey through Comics 2015 that is a very worthwhile read -- I laughed out loud at least at four separate occasions, and I am one jaded-ass fucker. Part One: http://www.tcj.com/the-tcj-2015-year-in-review-spectacufuck-part-i/

Part Two:  http://www.tcj.com/the-tcj-2015-year-in-review-spectacufuck-part-ii/

Part Three: http://www.tcj.com/the-tcj-2015-year-in-review-spectacufuck-part-iii/

Part Four: Up tomorrow, dumb Brian.  But.... I bet you might be able to guess the URL....

 

Go read, and thank me later!

 

-B

Abhay: 2015-- Another Year that I Mindlessly Consumed Entertainment (almost)

Hello. Sorry it's been a long time since I've had opportunity to visit with you. How was your year? Good, I hope. Mine was busier than expected, maybe the busiest and most stressful I've had professionally since I started the whole occupation-thing in 2002. So, plans I had about what I wanted to write here were delayed. So were my plans to impress Jodie Foster, though, so you know, maybe some things are for the best. You were never out of my thoughts completely though, and I'm referring here both to you and also, to Jodie Foster. And so if you'll indulge me, I did want to do another collection of year-end lists, as I have in previous years.  I just like the doing of it, and I like having like a "personal tradition" to keep up, however silly. But this wasn't a year where I felt like as engaged as other years, with comics especially, but television and movies, as well. I watched more Youtube cooking videos this year than prestige television-- it sort of has been a "rebuilding year", in ways I won't bore you with here, so as a result, this is going to be a pretty uninformed series of lists, maybe embarrassingly so where comics especially are concerned.  Plus, because of timing issues, I'm writing it all in one night, and am very sleepy during the part of the process where I usually fix errors or delete things I shouldn't say murder all the babies in their cribs.  But maybe it'll go well.  Or maybe it'll go as well as the rest of our lives have this year OH NOOOOOOOOOO...

FAVORITE MOVIES

Mad_Max__Fury_Road_-_Official_Main_Trailer__HD__-_YouTube+copy 10. Mad Max

You know, this is the one I don't really want on this list. There are movies I'd probably like more that I didn't see this year-- CREED or SPOTLIGHT. I'd probably like the END OF THE TOUR, but I'm too turned-off by the whole "biography against the wishes of the person's families or loved ones" trend this year, or just have my own relationship with the David Foster Wallace work that means something to me (moreso the non-fiction) that I don't think I'm generous enough to open up to a movie.

There were just certain things I didn't connect with for this one, most of all Tom Hardy's Max, the speed of some of the editing towards the end (especially as compared the more thoughtfully-paced earlier movies), particular images (the masses of people at the city for some reason-- huge turn-off).

That said, it'd be foolish not to say I didn't admire the obvious strengths of it-- that spectacular first action chase, the character work on Charlize Theron's character and her performance of it, the practical effects, the comparative emphasis on visual storytelling as compared to other summer blockbusters, the lack of bullshit. It was the only movie I felt like I needed to see twice in the theaters (though the second time through didn't persuade me any more, like I was hoping it might). I don't think I feel about it the way the rest of the internet feels, so it feels false and disingenuous to be on the list-- I respected it much more than I loved it. But anything else I'd put here would be more embarrassing, by comparison.

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9. Clouds of Sils Maria

I'm not sure how to describe this one. This is an Olivier Assayas movie showcasing Juliette Binoche and Kristen Stewart, who are really kind of dynamite together. Binoche is an aging actress undergoing a sort of spiritual destruction during the course of agreeing to this play, and the movie does this thing where over the course of the movie, anything feminine about her just gets shredded away. I find that's the thing about the movie that's stuck with me more than anything, just seeing her at the end, transformed for this part, having lost herself in the process. Stewart plays her assistant, and has one of those roles that sort of comments on the rest of her career while at the same time... not just being some kind of stunt or shtick. Though there's a scene of the two reacting in different ways to an X-Men movie that's sort of a highlight of the movie...? It might not be a lot of people's kind of thing, being a character study and a movie about acting and all that, kind of up its own ass a little, but I was willing to go with it.

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8. A Girl Walks Home at Night

Was this a 2014 movie? It was still in a theater when I saw it, but I don't remember when it first came out. I just loved it, though. Not for very subtle reasons-- it's about my very favorite thing for a movie to be about: a remarkably good looking actress, doing whatever the hell, who gives a shit. Nominally, it's some shit about vampires or something-- it's all in black-and-white and intimates that it's taking place somewhere in Iran (though it was actually shot somewhere in California). But the movie just has these moments of swooning -- swooning!-- over the couple in this movie and their romance, that I felt helpless not to agree with, got swept up in. I'd compare it to the Faye Wong stretch of Chungking Express, which just had that same infectious romance enough to power the entire movie.

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7. Mission Impossible: Motorcycle Protocol

This movie just hits so many of the big pleasure centers of my brain, where it comes to movies: SPIES! CHASE SCENES! HITCHCOCK! KNIFEFIGHTS!

Plus, the movie has a bonus value which I used to get out of Bond movies, before they ran those movies into the ground for the dour "let's make this fun superhero super-serious" crowd:  that when I watch it, I want my own life to be a little better. Watching Tom Cruise reverse-leap off a pipe makes me want to do sit-ups more than anything else on this planet. I need to do sit-ups! I need the motivation! Or watching a whole gunfight at an opera-house where everyone with guns has a tuxedo on-- I haven't worn a tuxedo in, what, 15-25 years...? I haven't been to an opera house except one time, on a class field trip (it sucked, I was 13 and wanted to be reading New Mutants comics instead, but that's besides the point)(or is it? New Mutants: The Opera-- make it happen, Julie Taymor! Spraypaint some bird feathers onto a halloween mask and make us some money, Taymor!)

You'd probably be correct to sneer at Male Lifestyle Porn, but you know, ridiculous images of male hypercompetence just seems like an overall healthier fantasy subject than the sort of "look at this broken failure creep shithead" that Bond or Batman or these other action movies find so "adult." At least if your ultimate goal is cultivating a positive and productive outlook. Granted, I don't know if that's ever been my goal, ever. But... there's also a part where Tom Cruise is on a motorcycle and it goes really fast...? So. I liked that part, too. VROOM!

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6. Cartel Land

Oh, I saw this the other day-- I don't know if it's one that's going to stick with me, but I thought this was a good one. It's a documentary about the violence of Mexican drug cartel, and vigilante groups that arise in the United States and Mexico with the stated goals of fighting the cartels. The movie digs into the vigilante groups, particularly the Mexican vigilantes, with such a penetrating gaze -- they go way deeper than I'd guessed they would, at the outset, at least. I think part of it is that I really enjoyed seeing a good movie about the cartels after seeing that movie Sicario just shit all over the bed, writingwise. The part I expect might stick with me with this movie is the end-- it just ends in such a way that's so ... It'd be wrong to call it cynical, but that seems to be the word people use whenever a thing ends with any kind of despair to it, however well earned. But god, what a mess. What a fucking mess.

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5. The Hateful Eight

I'm in the tank for Tarantino at this point, just because he's been making movies, his movies, through my life and they've all been so much their own thing, so off on their own aesthetic universe. And now, standing as a bulwark for that tradition of movies, one that not a lot of people are out there even pretending to care about, not when there's blockbuster money to be made. Oh, there are directors working today that I like more-- I like the Coen Bros. more, I think, just in that they have a thematic consistency and work ethic I admire more, even if they've made inarguably worse movies over their careers; I really dug the Wolf of Wall Street so Scorcese out there, still able to pull of a Scorcese movie after all these years, that still feels like the argument-ender, even if he made boring-ass Hugo or whatever other piece of shit inbetween. But any Tarantino movie, by comparison to any of those other people feels the most like a fulfillment of that core idea of what's so appealing about movies to begin with, how they're the greatest trainset there is.

That's true even in this movie, one of his least "interesting" movies in a number of different respects (besides just being interesting for being entertaining). I just particularly enjoyed with this one how dedicated the movie was to fucking with the people watching in every possible capacity. Did you have the moment in the middle of the movie, counting on your fingers, going "wait, how many people are in this movie?" I really loved that moment, and that moment felt very emblematic of what was fun about the entire thing. A movie you can't trust about people you can't trust, where you root for people for reasons you maybe shouldn't entirely trust, either. Who else could get away with it?

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4. It Follows

I'm not a huge horror fan, but I admired this movie. I admired that they didn't let having such a great idea for a monster push them off into doing a movie about the rules of that monster, the mythology of the monster, the shit about the monster no one really would care about besides the filmmakers and the geeks. I admired that they trusted more in the atmosphere and the metaphors of the thing. Plus, the best score, by a million miles.

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3. The Big Short

It's such a funny movie, ping-ponging around with such erratic, willfully-imperfect filmmaking, jittery, constantly changing thoughts mid-sentence. But now, weeks later, I don't think about any of that and instead, I just keep thinking about Steve Carrell at the end of this movie, talking about who would get blamed. If that's what I'm thinking about weeks later, I have to figure other people are too, and I have to figure that means they nailed it.

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2. Mistress America

I walked out of the theater the happiest from this movie than any other movie this year, Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig's exuberant screwball comedy about characters who are so frantic and desparate and achingly sad. I don't know how many other people are working the funny-sad vein besides Baumbach, but he's been working it a long time now and I've been a sucker for it more often than I would have ever guessed-- I'm always caught by surprise, liking one of his movies-- they all sound so horrible on paper! Oh, but this movie-- it's just a movie where you'd have to be a schmuck to feel any one thing about the characters, other than to just feel happy about how much the movie fucking loves them, you know? Without being saccharine, sentimental, pointless. I don't know any movie liked its characters nearly as much, or where I felt as much the same way-- just such a warm hug of a movie. Plus, my favorite soundtrack of the year.

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1. Wild Tales

This wasn't the "best" movie I saw this year, by any number of criteria, but at some point, I realized this Argentinian anthology movie was the movie I kept judging everything against, anyways.

Just because nothing was ever as just high on movies as this movie. The obvious comparison point is to Pulp Fiction, but that comparison would miss the anger of the movie, how angry it felt, how it didn't feel like it was about nothing even as it went from black-comedy gag to black-comedy gag. Maybe sometimes angry about things that as a non-Argentinian I never really fully understood or appreciated, but it felt so immediate. An often imperfect movie-- not every story is as good as the next one, in this collection of shorts. But just the collective effect of it all-- it's just like watching a rampage! This had my favorite shot of the year in it -- you'll know it right away-- but I wouldn't reduce it down to just that. I can't say I felt uplifted by it or hugged by it or any kind of nonsense talk like that-- it's a long snickering-at-people kind of thing.

If I had to guess, here's what I would guess: It just felt like a movie that came to the party awake, ready to dance and have some fun. I compared everything to that spirit, and I just don't know I can say it ever got beaten in that sole respect.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

  • American Harmony -- not a 2015 movie, but this documentary about barbershop quartet would be at, oh, #3 or #4 if it was. Presented by Tom Scharpling and Jon Wurster. I don't think anything made me laugh anywhere near as hard.  Constantly jaw-dropping.
  • Paul Walker lying on the ground staring up at the sky after escaping death in Fast 8 -- the rest of the movie was the rest of the movie, but this was one of my top 3 favorite moments in any movie this year.
  • Bing Bong.
  • Colin Firth touching God for a few minutes, in the otherwise so-so Kingsmen movie.
  • The 2-3 minutes of atompunk in the otherwise execrable Tommorowland, which should be avoided except for those 2-3 almost-perfect minutes, at least if that imagery is your bag.
  • Goodnight Mommy had the  best audience reactions. Goddamn, people were losing their shit watching this movie.
  • Malin Akerman's little dance at the end of The Final Girls.

WORST MOVIE

The new James Bond was fucking terrible, but I just have to figure I'm not a huge Sam Mendes fan or a fan of the over-serious direction they've headed in overall. I hated Avengers 2 and disliked Jurassic World, but I didn't expect anything from either, so I can't pretend to be let down.

But the one I kept going "uggghhh" in my head to the most was Sicario, even though it was so beautifully shot by Roger Deakins. It was just such bullshit! So phony!  Such bad plotting -- what was the plot of that movie?  What did anyone want?  Why did that movie hate Emily Blunt so much-- I think she's super and has pretty arms???   Just unbearably-stupid macho nonsense-- who was mentally engaged by this movie, and what was their favorite Frank Miller comic? WHAT WAS THEIR FAVORITE FRANK MILLER COMIC YOU KNOW THEY HAD ONE???  At least Frank Miller can ink a page!  An extremely Islamophobic page!

I enjoyed watching it immensely while I was watching it, thanks to Deakins, but just a movie that sours every day in my memory of it.

FAVORITE COMICS

10. Private Eye

I was hoping to read more online comics this year-- I kept hearing people I trust talk up Jason Shiga's Demon, especially, or Charles Forsman's Revenger. Time wasn't really on my side. I did make it through this Brian Vaughan - Marcos Martin detective comic, though. It was okay, kind of a generic mystery story enlivened by its future LA setting and Vaughan's world-building...? For Vaughan, better than what I've seen of Paper Girls; less interesting than Saga. The best part with this was seeing Martin getting his head around reorienting his art for computer screens, trying out different things.

9. COPRA

I'm just behind on COPRA. It's one of my favorite things going, and I should probably rank it higher for that reason, but I've just been saving up issues for a rainy day. Of what I saw, I can say that I continue to very much enjoy Copra. I keep telling myself I'm going to write about it properly someday, but until then, I don't want to half-ass it, so...

This entry could easily also be Stray Bullets too-- I'm behind on that series, but I thought that last run, Killers, was very strong work, and the issues I saw of it this year were also very likable.  I'm just too behind on both of these comics because I'm waiting until my focus is really back where it needs to be to sit with them. I don't want to be looking at these things when I'm not ready to appreciate them, you know? I don't want to treat them like potato chips...

8. Kevin Czap's Futchi Perf 

Sure, this comic had room for improvement, on the writing side just in telling clearer, cleaner A-to-B stories, at least if you believe in the virtue of that kind of thing. But that having been said, it really caught me in a good place when I cracked it open. It was one I got through the mail, and I remember that day, I was just having one of those moments of, you know, gratitude or whatever, just in a good mood, feeling pretty groovy. Getting this comic dropped into my life unexpectedly really fit that overall vibe that day. Because it's very handcrafted-- it's got a texure to it that's just pleasant to hold in your hands, that comic-- I forget what Brian calls it, "good hold"...? The way the colors work, the way they look on the paper, and just the generous spirit especially that it starts with of setting its stories in this ultra-optimistic culturally harmonious version of Cleveland... You know, if your buzz from comics is that they're the most personal and one-on-one of all the visual storytelling media, and if you're having a good day, this comic can be pretty good times. This is a fond comics memory for this year for me.

7. Ronald Wimberly's #LIGHTEN UP

It seems like not a lot of comics "went viral" this year besides this one, or if they did, I don't remember them much-- but this one definitely did and it was a pretty good one. Obviously, there's the politics of the thing -- but I'm tired tonight and don't feel like belaboring any of that here. But even setting all that aside, I thought it was just an effective comic in how it's laid out, how gracefully he made his point. It's just an engaging comic to look at, the choices he makes for what to draw, how he mixes showing him reacting to things in the more narrative panels with panels more graphically laying out his internal thought processes. Or I like the different approaches to lettering-- white letters on black backgrounds, black letters on all white panels, white letters on flat colors, etc.-- the way those different choices kind of effected the "tone" of his voice. You know, probably still room for improvement-- the panel of the pin going towards the donkey's ass-- that whole panel, I wasn't so into, a little too cutesy on that one, not my favorite one. But after that, the last two panels are killers. Stone-cold killers. The reaction it got was well deserved because he was saying interesting things-- but he also saying those things in interesting ways, and it just feels... I don't know, it feels dumb in a way that's hard to articulate not to mention that, too.

6. Prez

I'm behind on this Vertigo series, but I thought the first two were pretty funny. Jokes that are funny? In a DC comic? That is a rare skill. Plus, it's sort of in that genre of wacky satirical-future comics that ... I feel like that used to be more of a thing in comics, and just went away...? Is that just in my head? It feels like not a lot of people have worked that vein in the last little while...

5. Kaptara

Chip Zdarsky and Kagan McLeod teaming up for a He-Man/Krull-Universe nervous breakdown. The first issue of this-- not so great, but past that, I thought it was a fun adventure-comedy.  There's a balancing act to the book that I find likable, steering between loving childish shit while at the same time being horrified at the idea of grown-ups loving childish shit, adults tainting childish shit by sticking around it too long-- I'm not sure how much of that's intentional or in my head, though.  Mostly, I'd really dug Prison Funnies and Infinite Kung Fu back in the long time ago, and it was always kinda crazy-making that people weren't really paying more attention to those guys back then. So it's just kind of nice seeing those two having a big hit Image series. It proves that X number of years ago, I was right, and that's all I really care about, ever, ever, just being right, just want to be right.  I hope people rediscover the Judgment Night soundtrack next because that soundtrack had some strong ideas about how we could combine rap music and rock music that are worth revisiting.

4. Casanova: Something or Another #1

I loved the first two volumes of Casanova, give or take an issue here or there, but the last series had been really hard to connect with, at least for me-- and I think purposefully on the book's end of things. I haven't really heard other people express that frustration so maybe it was just me, but that third volume was a comic very much about dismantling all the things that I liked about Casanova to begin with, and had reacted so favorably to Casanova to begin with... I had a rough time with that. I think it had to go to that place-- the pop culture armors around Casanova had to be ripped away and destroyed. But it made for a hard book to feel any great affection for.  That having been said, the first issue of this fourth volume really hit me hard because it felt like what all that other stuff had been cleared away to make room for...? Especially there's a moment in this comic of a girl at a party by a pool that's just so ... present-tense, and just ... Casanova at its best just feels drunk on comics, and for me, that pool scene had that quality as much as any of the peak moments in that book's run. And the rest-- LA apocalyptic cult shit? I mentioned in talking about that Mission Impossible movie how some genre things are just pleasure centers for me, and ... yeah... LA apocalyptic cults? That shit landed like bombs for me.  The rest of the series? You know, highs and lows. I didn't have much use for that latest issue, but the one before it, I thought that one had some groovy stuff in it. Strikes and gutters. But what a start...

3. Lumberjanes

This had gotten by me until this year. You've probably heard about this one before -- I don't really have much interesting to add about it. It lived up to the hype.

2. Exquisite Corpse

This is an extremely light and frothy romantic comedy by Penelope Bagieu, who is more famous in France for being a blogger-cartoonist. I'd heard of her work for years so it was nice to finally see some of it in action. This isn't a very deep or sophisticated comic-- it's a very lightweight piece of work; I wouldn't expect it to be on too many Top 10 lists probably let alone this high.  But just a book whose merits I particularly appreciated when I read it, I guess-- the character acting, especially. And you know... look at this list! Holy crap I did not care about comics this year! Not enough to have a really cool list!  This is a terrible list! Oh man...

1. Sacred Heart 

Liz Suburbia's unsupervised-teens epic. I'd seen some of it online before, though it was all redrawn for this Fantagraphics re-release. Sacred Heart's very much a big sprawling ensemble piece -- when those are done well, that's just something to see for a comic, I think. The underlying mystery of what's going on in that comic is a little on the fuzzy side, but I enjoyed watching this graphic novel prowl through this small town, seeing Suburbia draw out the characters' lives...

HONORARY MENTION

If you're interested in interviews about manga, what a year. The translated discussion between Naoki Urasawa & Hisashi Eguchi would ordinarily be the highpoint, especially their talking about pre-Akira Katsuhiro Otomo. I know that section lead me to track down Family, from 1979's Highway Star (which was actually the best comic I read this year, though it felt awkward to mention on a top 10 list, being (a) from 1979 and (b) a fan scanlation-- it felt like you're not supposed to put a comic like that on a top 10 list).

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But that was just the warm-up to the Naoki Urasawa television show, where he follows different manga artists and talks with them as a camera-rig he specially designed for his show films them drawing their comic pages. I don't know if you're a process junkie, but if you are, this is the motherload, Shangri-La, the philosopher's stone, the end of the rainbow. It's a multi-episode show about drawing comics, starring one of my favorite comic creators in the world talking with a cast of killers, absolute killers (there's an episode untranslated online of Golgo 13 artist Takao Saito but I haven't seen a translated copy of that episode around yet). There has never been anything equivalent to this.

WORST COMIC

I made it until December before a comic actually angered me. I kept hearing about this guy Tom King...? He's the Latest Guy, by the sound of it. And hey, congratulations to him on being the Latest Guy. That's a swell thing to be, I hope, for however long that lasts.  But anyways, I heard about this guy, so while I was at a shop for the first time in, oh, 3-4 months (?)(More?), I picked up one of his comics.  There's a new Vision comic from Marvel, #1 issue, him and Gabriel Hernandez Walta-- I think I'd even heard people specifically talking up these Vision comics as being, like, a big deal, the latest "hey even though it's a Marvel comic it's actually blah blah blah" buzz comic.

Seventeen pages.

Seventeen pages before I'm looking at a full-page splash of a woman getting a sword shoved through her torso.

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I know there's a tradition to it. I'm not saying that Tom King hasn't joined a long and proud lineage before him...

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But do you think after the aliens murder us all, when they're picking through the rubble, they'll pick up a comic and be like "why did the nerdy male humans fantasize so much about the torsos of the female humans being stabbed so much?" I don't think that'll happen because I don't believe the aliens will speak English-- also, I think the aliens will use high-powered laser weapons which will incinerate all of the comic books, good and bad alike.

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And I get that other people don't share my aversion to seeing women getting constantly skewered in comic books. Other people are, like, whatever about that. Heck, maybe I'm the weird one. Sure. I kind of will admit that I have issues about-- about all sorts of stuff, where I react extra-negatively to this kind of imagery. I just ... I don't get why no one even notices, why it's not even mentioned, "oh by the way Tom King shares comic's bizarre insistence that women's torsos be constantly stabbed." Why don't people warn each other?  Would the butchering of women be a spoiler to you people?

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At this point if a fucking superhero comic didn't have a woman's torso being decimated, I would be more surprised. I'd want a spoiler warning. "Spoiler warning-- no violence against women."

Is it... is it like some kind of Satanic or Freemason rite that all comics writers have to go through if they want to be Famous at comics? Do they have to destroy a woman's torso before they'll be accepted as a "Real comics writer" at one of those fucking Marvel retreats, when they're all licking goat-blood from off a pentagram? Is it all Lovecraftian?

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... When did I ever sign up for this, is what I keep asking myself? I remember being a little kid -- I just wanted to read about Captain America throwing a metal disc at people's heads, resulting in their permanent brain damage -- you know, like a normal person! I never signed up for hating women's torsos! (I kinda think women's torsos are fun to look at and/or touch-- GASP!  Does that make me unclean???). When did that become part of the whole nerd-thing? Why is this a thing with you people?

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So you know, I'm sure Tom King's great and all, when it comes to entertaining you people, with your weird anti-torso issues, and your generally-speaking being fucked in the head. Congratulations to the guy-- if I know comics, he really picked a surefire route to success -- no one in comics ever went broke making comics where women get butchered like cattle.  Congratulations to him.  But uhhhh, just... you know... After a year kind of not being all that invested mentally in comics, this ... This just didn't fucking help.

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FAVORITE TELEVISION

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10-- Rick & Morty -- Total Rickall

The one with Mr. Poopybuthole. I don't really know what else I can say about that. Seems self-explanatory.

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9-- Doctor Who -- Heaven Sent

I'd counted this show out, I suppose, but this episode of Peter Capaldi trapped in a prison is just a hall-of-fame episode. I just really like that the core of it is so strong, they could have done this episode any year they've been making Doctor Who. JJ Abrams has talked a lot about mystery boxes over the years, but this puzzle of an episode just seemed to deliver on that idea more than he's ever managed to. Hell, it just seemed to deliver on the entire idea of Doctor Who more than so many episodes manage, especially in the last few years. I know they can't all be like this one. But goddamn, why can't they all be like this one??

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8-- Inside No. 9 -- Cold Comfort

The "villain" of this piece-- politically, very uncool and offensive. That having been said, this was a pretty memorable half-hour of TV. Inside No. 9 is a Twilight Zone / Tales from the Darkside anthology show over in the UK, usually a show with dark gag-endings, but no other episode has been as unsettling or effective as this one, about volunteers at a suicide hotline crisis-center. Because even if it had a thriller plot on the surace, scrape all that away and what do you have? A suicide crisis hotline-center. That's a lot to think about, even before you start talking story or characters.

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7--3:

  • Daily Show -- Finale of the Jon Stewart Era
  • Mad Men -- The Second-to-Last Episode
  • Justified -- The Last Episode
  • Late Night with David Letterman -- the Last Episode
  • Parks & Recreation -- Final Episode

It seems silly to even put these in any order. I don't know there's any TV show I'm nearly as invested in as any one of these left standing.  (Maybe SNL...?) (There was also the final episode of Community in 2015, though that show had ended so many times previously, it was hard to get as broken up over it.) Whereas: Jon Stewart's someone I've been following since Talk Show Jon, Parks & Recreation had a particularly excellent final season,  Justified had always been an underrated show and stuck its landing just perfectly -- and landed it with an ending that felt like an Elmore Leonard ending, Mad Men was the best drama on TV while it was on (including Breaking Bad -- suck it), and David Letterman had been there and represented something in my head, my entire life, since early memories.

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I don't know-- I kind of want to get off the "Golden Age of Television" train and all of these shows ending this year felt like ... I want to take it as a sign. We'll see, I guess.

Mad Men, I'd just put the second-to-last over the final, final episode, in that the second-to-last episode had the best moment of the final season and maybe the best single moment of the year in television-- Peggy Olsen carrying Japanese pornography down a hallway, wearing sunglasses.  Sometimes people attack that show and sometimes they pull it off, but usually I don't even know what the hell they were watching...

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2-- Three Days in Hell

Andy Samberg's tennis comedy. There has needed to be a great tennis comedy for a very, very long time, and this one had about a million things in it that made me laugh. There was some good comedy in the "incredibly stupid" school of comedy this year-- the Wet Hot American Summer show had plenty. But this felt pretty obviously like the winner of that particular competition, for David Copperfield alone.

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1-- Master of None -- Mornings

Oh man, I'm getting pretty tired and bored of my own voice. This show just meant the most to me, and this was the best episode of the show, the one where they put away jokes or making sociopolitical statements or sucking up to Indian parents, and just went all-in on the relationship story. I've been playing that Arthur Russell song on my commute lately since watching this episode. I've been rolling out my own pasta lately, too-- some of that's this episode, probably.

The Golden Age of TV used to be shows that were really struggling with Right Now, whats going on Right Now. And then the geeks swarmed in, and now it's shows about dragons and zombies and the Rapture and Marvel superheros-- who gives a fuck? This show felt like it was about things I actually care about right now, every which way, from the relationship talk, to the show's constant emphasis on empathy, to over-reading Yelp, to the pasta (the tough part's getting the flour-to-egg ratio right-- I still haven't gotten that part down).

And just the filmmaking, the location shooting, the soundtrack (the Pete Rock & CL Smooth drop is one of the best music drops like that I've ever seen in a TV show)-- it all just felt like people who were very present in what they were doing, with so much of the bullshit that's usually inbetween stripped away.

I just loved it very much.

HONORARY MENTION:

At some point this year, I realized that I was going to be working on a very exhausting schedule, and I came up with this idea-- my idea was that I would eliminate choice in what TV show I would watch so that when I came home from a long day of work, I could put on a show, and not have to spend time thinking about what I'd want to watch. That would mean I'd need a show with a lot of episodes, and some reason to want to watch more than one-- you know, some kind of soap opera element.

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I chose a show called Pretty Little Liars.

Pretty Little Liars is one of the most popular shows in the country. Provided, that is, that you're a 15-25 year old woman. Outside of that demographic, not quite as wildly popular. And so I found that very intriguing because I'm sick of being in someone's target demographic. I'm sick of being marketed to, sick of things built for me by people who think I'm a moron, that I'm someone they can put in some well-defined box of market research. And I think in choosing this show, I wanted to break away from this programming that has all of us staying in our lanes. Why should we stay in our lanes? The whole point of art is to get out of our lanes. So why not watch a show meant for teenage girls? Right? Pretty good theory, I thought.

One small twist: it turns out this show is a little on the fucking insane side, and less a window into what life's like for modern teenagers, and more a window into ... ludicrousness...? Supposedly, it's a show about 4-to-5 girls who have to confront a villain who is blackmailing them with their teen secrets. So that sounds like a pretty straightforward teen thriller, right? But in practice... I really honestly don't even know where to start. There's the part where they're on a Halloween train, and Draculas start singing. The part where there's a fight in a sawmill against identical girls wearing red Don't Look Now jackets. There's a part where they leave town and go to another town where a lady has Dune eyes and then they meet ghosts. The teen blackmailer has an underground bunker and access to Star Trek equipment. At one point, there was a part involving human teeth that ... I don't know what I could type here to describe this moment that would actually sound like Human English. Or- or- oh god there was a part with a horseshoe that... The Horseshoe! (Begins wildly gesticulating having lost all ability to type words)

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I did not expect what I got when I chose this show. They solved the multi-season long caper of "Who is the Blackmailer" over the summer (and their solution was incomprehensible and deeply offensive, like unquestionably sociopolitically offensive, indefensible in multiple ways).  But for me, the journey to get to that was so often... just inexplicable and unique and wonderful that I am ... filled with a gratitude, but also a genuine and very unshakable befuddlement as to ... like... why? Why did they make any of the choices that they made when they made this show? Why?

And now, basically, the long and short of it is regular television shows are no longer interesting to me, in so far as they are merely sane, and all the food I eat tastes like ashes. Basically.

WORST TV:

Daredevil-- Episode 8 -- Shadows in the Glass

I tried watching that Daredevil show, but quit after watching this episode. I hadn't realized I had made it that far-- I think I fast-forwarded a lot. But then I hit this moment in this episode that was so fucking infuriating...

Cast your memory back-- this is a show that when it came out, people online started to pretend it was a "Crime epic", or a "Real crime show", or "not fucking bullshit." So that was the context I was watching it, assuming I was watching something that was trying to be a real television crime show instead of just junky dweeby nonsense. And the show kinda pretends along for a little while, especially with the Kingpin parts, where they build up this mystery-- who is the Kingpin? Who is this mysterious figure that no one in the city knows, no one in the city has met, but runs all of the crime in the city from the shadows?

This episode answers that question by having KINGPIN HOLD A PRESS CONFERENCE! Which Daredevil "sees" when it is broadcast live.

But why would TV news stations broadcast a man's press conference if they don't know who he is???  The whole rest of the show is that no one in the city knows who the Kingpin of crime is, that a Kingpin of crime even exists! So, to the people in the world of this show-- some random man is like "I'm throwing a press conference" and rather than, you know, videotape it, review the footage, edit it, and then report on it if it's actually newsworthy, TV news stations on this show instead just put whatever-the-fuck on live TV...? "People need to see this! We don't know who this is or what he's going to say or whether he might take out his penis, but let's roll the dice and put him out on live Television."

And then what does he say in this press conference that is inexplicably getting broadcast throughout the city's airwaves?

1 2

 

He tells people his name. Because they don't know who the fuck the strange man inexplicably spouting inane gibberish at them is!  They're watching a press conference from a person whose name they don't know!  And that's the best written part of that entire scene-- every other bit of dialogue in that scene is just the rankest shit. He's just someone TV stations have randomly put on TV to introduce himself to people, like some kind of weird dating video...

What the fuck was this bullshit and why were people pretending they were watching an epic crime show when one of the most pivotal scenes in the show is that fucking terribly written??? When the Pretty Litle Liars flush human teeth down a toilet, I at least don't have to hear nitwits pretend they're watching some Golden Age of TV when the toilet flushes! I stopped watching all these Marvel shows after that-- the internet's just not to be trusted -- too many people are too desperate to fool themselves into thinking they're watching an Achievement in Television Sciences while they jerk off to dimestore junk-- only teenage girls understand what I want to watch on television anymore!

SHORT VIDEOS, COMEDY SKETCHES, ETC.

5.  Inside Amy Schumer- "Last Fuckable Day"

4.  Saturday Night Live-- "Meet Your Second Wife"

3. Hell's Club

2.  The Theatrical Trailer for ROAR

1.  Key & Peele- "Negrotown"

 

Happy Birthday, America!

Sometimes I think the world would be a better place if every country took a whole weekend off to high-five itself. As humble as ever I'm sure I speak for every man, woman and child in the United Kingdom when I say there are no hard feelings from over The Pond . So, after you folk have read Brian Hibbs' important update on his Graphic Novel Clubs below, well...kick off your Sunday shoes and cut Footloose! Put that needle in the groove and let The Loggins loose! America loves its Loggins! Happy Birthday, America! FOOTLOOSE! photo IndepDayB_zpshgx8ygwk.jpg Art by Russ Heath, an American.

AND THE CHILDREN SHALL LEAD: Comix Experience expands GN of month club to kids!

Announcing the Kids' Graphic Novel Of The Month Club! www.graphicnovelclub.com/kids

Comics are going through an incredible renaissance at the moment, with more astonishing tales being produced than the average person could possibly hope to keep up on. One of the most explosive areas of growth is comics aimed at kids!

Kids love comics - our 26 years of running a comic book store can attest to that. But parents usually don’t know how or where to start. Parents want books that they can trust, so they usually fall back upon the same few characters and licenses that they see in other media, not knowing or having the time to figure out which are the truly special and thoughtful books with a passionate creative vision. And that's understandable! How can you have time to stay up on children’s literature when you barely have time to stay current with your own likes?

That’s where Comix Experience comes in – we eat, live and breathe comics, and while we’re mostly adults, we’re all kids at heart. Similar to our just-announced Graphic Novel of the Month Club, we're introducing the Kids' Graphic Novel of the Month Club to help put the best comics for kids in your child's hand every month. Plus, the Kids' Graphic Novel of the Month Club will have an 11-year-old on our advisory board – Ben, son of Comix Experience owner Brian Hibbs!

Beginning July 2015 we’ll send your favorite kid an amazing, compelling self-contained graphic novel every month that’s going to light their mind up and leave them wanting more! This pick will be a newly released book that month, so you don’t have to worry about them already having it. And each pick will be suitable for a typical 8-13 year old.

But wait, there’s more!

In addition to a great graphic novel they’ll also get:

● Access to a monthly live-streamed book club meeting where kids from all over the country will be able to discuss the graphic novel they’ve just read.

● Whenever possible, we’ll have the writer and artist of the book involved in the video meeting, there to answer your kid’s questions. And when we have the authors actually in-store, we’ll have a special club-only mixer for your kids to meet.

● We will start an invite-only and moderated message group where kids can write their own reviews of the books we send, and talk about it amongst themselves. Every kid who writes 10 reviews will earn a free book!

● We’ll also offer cool swag for the book, like posters and bookmarks, whenever available!

The whole thing is just $15 a month, the average price of a kid’s graphic novel. If you are local in San Francisco you may pick the book up, otherwise we can ship it for a nominal charge. Ways to Join the Club

Kids' Club membership is available on a month-to-month basis. You can sign up today by clicking the buttons below or by calling either of our stores:

● Comix Experience on Divisadero St. at (415) 863-9258

● Comix Experience Outpost on Ocean Ave. at (415) 239-2669 Club FAQs

Q. When does the club start?

A. We’ll start shipping book as of July 2015.

Q. What books will I get?

A. Some months we might send you a more expensive book, perhaps a nice hardcover, while some months it may be something less expensive – but every month you’ll get an accessible, compelling, and fun piece of original graphic fiction aimed at an 8-13 year old audience.  We will seldom pick stories based on movies or television shows, except when the book is truly exceptional. The value of the book should average out over the course of a year to the price of the membership.

We plan a mixture of genres and styles – sometimes it will be adventure fiction, sometimes it will be non-fiction or history, sometimes it will even be slice-of-life – but always chosen for the sensibilities of your kids.

Q. What if I don’t live in the Bay Area – can I still join?

A. Yes, absolutely! We’ll just have to add $6 a month for shipping and handling for sturdy packaging in a domestic US priority mail. We can offer this outside of the United States, but the shipping costs are pretty horrible (more than the cost of the club, sadly).

Contact us if you’re interested in international shipping.

Q. What if I can’t make it to a meeting or I live out of town?

A. We will also record all club meetings so if you’re out of town your kid can still watch.

Q. My child is really sensitive; will this be right for them?

A. You’re the best judge of what your kid can handle, but we’re aiming at an “average” 8-13 year old. We will sometimes choose work that is more slightly more serious in nature, but we’re vetting every choice with our in-house eleven year-old who has a pretty gentle personality.

Q. Is this for boys or girls?

A. We find that most kids are looking for compelling stories, regardless of the gender of the protagonist. Having said that, we’re going to aim for as even of a mix as we can possibly manage over the course of a year, dependent on the books that are actually released.

Q. Why are you doing this?

A. We have a Graphic Novel Club aimed at adults, and a teacher who joined wrote us asking if our choices could be freely shared with her students. We had to admit that 100% of the choices would not be sharable, but that made us think that putting together a package aimed directly at the kids made a whole lot of sense!  Teachers: Always the smartest ones in the room!

Q. What if my kid hates the book?

A. You can cancel the monthly plan at any time, and if you’re dissatisfied with any of our choices just return the book, and we’ll give you a full refund.

Q. Can I give this as a gift?

A.  Yes! In fact that’s our main intent with this – introducing the joys of comics to kids you know all around the country.

Q. What if I wanted a bulk subscription for my school or organization?

A. We can accommodate you! Please contact Brian Hibbs directly at brian@comixexperience.com to discuss bulk subscriptions.

Hibbs' crazy week

I know that I am just about the worst owner of a review site, ever, but I honestly, genuinely have a solid plan to get back to regular reviewing once I get all of this Graphic Novel of the Month Club stuff (www.graphicnovelclub.com) squared away, that I think you're going to like a lot. I just want to recap what is likely the craziest seven days I have spent on the earth:

Last Friday morning, on May first, just inches past midnight, I took a major header when getting off the bus, requiring 10 stitches in my head, and five on my hand.  I'm fine, but wow.

This week, I have been featured in BOTH The National Review (http://www.nationalreview.com/article/417763/when-minimum-wage-hikes-hit-san-francisco-comic-book-store-ian-tuttle) as well as Mother Jones (http://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2015/05/small-businesses-exemptions-minimum-wage) -- all I need now is a Libertarian magazine and an Anarchist one, and I will have completed the political spectrum!

Comix Experience also got a "Best of San Francisco" from the SF Weekly for "Best Response To Rising Minimum Wage" (which makes me so happy because it wasn't prompted on my end like those first two) -- http://www.sfweekly.com/sanfrancisco/best-response-to-rising-minimum-wage/BestOf?oid=3593624

This week was ALSO Free Comic Book Day, which I spent (other than being in agony from the fall) providing on-street security for Darth Vader (they can't really see in those costumes) -- I love the 501st Legion (http://www.501st.com/) -- it's weird "protecting" The Dark Lord!  The best part is at the Ocean street store, people are stopping, and gawking, and honking horns and being all excited, while on Divisadero with all of the Hipster tech people, like 90% of them strolled past without even looking up or reacting in any visible way.  Hysterical!

Also, I ran downtown to pre-purchase Avengers tickets because I was taking eight sixth-graders to the show. I waited for the subway to take me back home, and one pulled up with half a dozen cops riding on the front half.  I shrugged, got on the second half, and sat down and pulled out a book.  Then I looked up, and realized I was sitting across (on an otherwise passenger-less car) from Ed Lee, the Mayor of San Francisco. I realized this was my one and only chance to get The City to be aware of my situation, and Mayor Lee was extremely gracious to listen to me spin my tale. But, yeah, random private 15 minute meeting with the Mayor on Muni, and The City has already followed up with a few ideas of how they can help.

Then I ended the week yesterday with an appearance on Fox Business News, which you could watch here if you wished to (http://mediaoneservices.com/brian-hibbs-05082015/) (no embed, sorry)

Exactly at the one month mark, the GN club hit halfway to our 334 goal.  Now I'm counting down to hitting 200 exactly -- which we need (right now) 25 more people to hit.  Spread the word about www.graphicnovelclub.com!

And look for a cool new announcement on Monday!

 

-B

Help Keep Comix Experience Alive!

HELP KEEP COMIX EXPERIENCE ALIVE!  

San Francisco is about to raise minimum wage to the nation’s highest at $15/hour over the next three years – a 43% hike. While we at Comix Experience absolutely support a living wage, this unprecedented increase will put a huge pressure on small businesses like ours. To put it into raw numbers, given our current staffing (and we run very tight), we will soon have to generate an additional $80,000 a year in sales just to meet the rise.

 

Absorbing that kind of wage hike on our single biggest business cost (our talented people) is going to be a challenge. Historical rates of growth and the nature of selling comics (what we sell has a fixed cover price set by the publishers, therefore we can’t raise prices) means that it will be virtually impossible to raise that additional income organically.

 

Comix Experience is a healthy business, and has consistently been that way for all of the 26 years of its existence. However, like most small retail businesses, every dollar that is earned is invested directly back into the business. That means we will have to do something radical to generate the additional $80,000 in annual sales to meet this payroll mandate.

 

A Solution that Reflects our Core Values

 

Many other stores in San Francisco are obviously faced with the same issue, and each are approaching it in a manner that works for them. Some stores may choose to downsize, or cut staffing or even close all together. Others, like our compatriots at Borderlands Books, have turned to sponsorship to alleviate their issues.

 

When deciding what path to take to increase sales to meet the new wage requirements, we kept a few of our guiding principles in mind.

 

  1. Comix Experience would strongly prefer to figure out a way to let the market solve the problem rather than raw patronage. While we have no problem with a fund-raising type approach, for us creating a way to generate new customers and provide our loyal patrons with added value is better.
  2. Our solution would need to reflect the passion and curation we offer to you every single day. We don’t sell comics merely to make money from them – we sell comics because we literally can’t think of a better way to spend our days than communicating the boundless love we feel for great comics and their amazing creators! And we don’t just love comics – we really know them as well; we get the secret alchemy that makes the best comics so. Every member of our staff feels just the same way: We burn for comics, and we want to ignite your passion for the best that our medium has to offer!
  3. We want to build on our efforts to foster a build community through our stores. We seek to build a safe space so that regardless of your circumstance, regardless of your race, gender or creed, you’re welcome and participatory in your own fandom.

 

Therefore the path we’ve hit upon to try and save Comix Experience is this:

 

Comix Experience’s Curated Graphic Novel of the Month Club

 

Beginning in July 2015, every month the staff and I will use our passion and experience to choose the single best brand new graphic novel to give you. This book will always be either a stand-alone experience, or the first volume of a new series. As a member of the club, you’ll also be entitled to unique benefits that won’t be offered to anyone else:

 

  • A curated selection of the best new graphic novel each month
  • An invitation to a monthly live book club meeting and social event to discuss that book. We will record and stream the in-store meeting so club members all over the world can also participate.
  • We will regularly have the writers and artists of each of our picks participate in our monthly club meetings, (e.g. in person, speaking and doing a live event, or a video chat to answer questions).
  • For select in-person appearances at the store, you’ll receive an exclusive club-only invitation to attend a private after-hours event with the guest.
  • We will create a social media group for members to discuss the book internationally
  • Finally, we will provide you with nice swag (like posters or bookmarks) for the selected book wherever possible

 

Ways to Join the Club

 

  • Month-to-Month: If you would prefer to take it one month at a time, the price will be $25 a month, a tremendous value considering all the benefits we are offering.
  • Annual: If you are willing to commit to a full year, the price drops to just $20 a month! You can quit at any time for a full refund on your unused balance.

 

You can sign up today at www.graphicnovelclub.com or by calling either of our stores:

  • Comix Experience on Divisadero St. at (415) 863-9258
  • Comix Experience Outpost on Ocean Ave. at (415) 239-2669

 

Club FAQs

 

  1. When does the club start?
  2. We’re launching this today in order to start monthly shipping of books for July – the month that the first (and largest) of the mandated wage hikes kicks in.

 

  1. What books will I get?
  2. Some months we might send you a more expensive book (If we had started this in February, the pick would have been Scott McCloud’s excellent “The Sculptor," which is $29.95), while some months it may be something less expensive – but every month you’ll get an accessible, compelling, and thoughtful piece of graphic fiction, and the value will be equivalent to the average price of a graphic novel over the course of the yearly plan.

 

  1. What if I don’t live in the Bay Area – can I still join?
  2. Yes, absolutely! We’ll just have to add $6 a month for shipping and handling for domestic US priority mail. We haven’t yet figured out a “one size fits all” solution for international shipping, but if you’re outside the US and you want to participate, call or e-mail, and we’ll work out an individual shipping solution for you.

 

  1. What if I can’t make it to a meeting or I live out of town?
  2. We will also record all club meetings so if you’re out of town you’ll still be able to enjoy that benefit.

 

  1. What happens if you sell more memberships than you need to meet the wage increase?
  2. In order to fully cover the shortfall, we need to sell 334 memberships at the yearly rate. If we beat that goal then we will use it to pay our excellent staff more than the minimum wage hike requires. This means we could really use your participation.

 

Looking Forward to Having You as Part of the Comix Experience Family

 

Our belief is that there are a lot of people who like comics, like the store, or simply want to help keep San Francisco iconoclastic and support small business. Perhaps you just don’t have the time to get into a comic store every month to stay on top of new releases.

 

The comics medium is truly in a second Golden Age right now, but with so much top notch, innovative work being released, how can you tell which new releases are the best? We are going to provide that curated experience for you.

 

I urge you to join us. If you know someone else who would like to subscribe, I also urge you tell them about this service (or give them a gift subscription). Please help us spread the word! Each and every person truly matters in reaching our goal, and keeping Comix Experience alive to continue to take comics into a better place well into the future. On behalf of myself and the staff of Comix Experience, thank you so much for your support!

 

If you have any questions, please feel free to call either store, or reach out to me directly.

 

Brian Hibbs, Head Cheese, brian@comixexperience.com

Arriving 4/1/15

April begins with an ending. The final week of the New52 and the beginning of Convergence. Plus SOUTHERN BASTARDS and DYING THE DEAD.  

SO much more under the cut!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #17 ANGEL AND FAITH SEASON 10 #13 ARKHAM MANOR ENDGAME #1 AVENGERS #43 TRO AVENGERS MILLENNIUM #1 (OF 4) AVENGERS ULTRON FOREVER #1 BATMAN AND ROBIN ANNUAL #3 BATMAN ETERNAL #52 BATMAN SUPERMAN ANNUAL #2 BATWOMAN ANNUAL #2 BLACK SCIENCE #13 CLUSTER #3 CONVERGENCE #0 CYCLOPS #12 BV DARK TOWER DRAWING THREE HOUSE CARDS #2 (OF 5) DOCTOR WHO 9TH #1 (OF 5) DYING AND THE DEAD #2 EARTH 2 WORLDS END #26 EGOS #7 FEATHERS #4 GARFIELD #36 NINE LIVES PT 4 GEORGE ROMEROS EMPIRE OF DEAD ACT THREE #1 Of(5) GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS #7 GOTHAM ACADEMY ENDGAME #1 GRAVEYARD SHIFT #4 (OF 4) GUARDIANS OF GALAXY BEST STORY EVER #1 GUARDIANS TEAM-UP #4 HALOGEN #2 (OF 4) HARLEY QUINN #16 HELLBOY AND THE BPRD #5 (OF 5) 1952 HINTERKIND #17 IRON FIST LIVING WEAPON #11 KANAN LAST PADAWAN #1 LADY KILLER #4 LOOKING FOR GROUP #1 LOONEY TUNES #224 MAXX MAXXIMIZED #17 MILLENNIUM #3 (OF 5) MY LITTLE PONY FIENDSHIP IS MAGIC #1 SOMBRA NAILBITER #11 NAMES #8 (OF 9) NEVERBOY #2 NEW 52 FUTURES END #48 (WEEKLY) NO MERCY #1 OPERATION SIN #4 (OF 5) PALMIOTTI BRADY BIG CON JOB #2 (OF 4) PATHFINDER ORIGINS #3 (OF 6) PENNY DORA & THE WISHING BOX #4 (OF 5) POET ANDERSON DREAM WALKER #1 (OF 3) PS BLACKCROSS #2 (OF 6) PUNISHER #17 RAT GOD #3 (OF 5) RETURN OF LIVING DEADPOOL #3 (OF 4) RICK & MORTY #1 ROBERT E HOWARDS SAVAGE SWORD #10 ROBERT HEINLEINS CITIZEN OF THE GALAXY #2 (OF 3) ROCKET RACCOON #10 SHADOW SHOW #5 (OF 5) SIMPSONS ILLUSTRATED #16 SINESTRO ANNUAL #1 SOUTHERN BASTARDS #8 SPIDER-GWEN #3 SUPERMAN WONDER WOMAN #17 TALES FROM THE CON YEAR TWO TEEN TITANS ANNUAL #1 UFOLOGY #1 UNCANNY AVENGERS #3 UNCANNY INHUMANS #0 UNCANNY SEASON 2 #1 (OF 6) WAR STORIES #7 WEIRD LOVE #6 WITCHER FOX CHILDREN #1 WOLF MOON #5 (OF 6) WOLVERINES #13 WONDER WOMAN #40 WOODS #12 X-FILES SEASON 10 #22 X-O MANOWAR #35

Books/Mags/Things ADVENTURE TIME ORIGINAL GN VOL 05 GRAYBLES SCHMAYBLES ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM GN VOL 03 AVENGERS RAGE OF ULTRON OGN HC AVENGERS SCARLET WITCH BY ABNETT AND LANNING TP BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL TP VOL 31 FINAL CURTAIN BPRD PLAGUE OF FROGS TP VOL 03 CASANOVA COMPLETE ED HC VOL 03 AVARITIA DARK AGES TP DEEP STATE TP VOL 01 DEMO TP ELEPHANTMEN 2260 TP BOOK 02 ELFQUEST FINAL QUEST TP VOL 01 EMPOWERED UNCHAINED TP VOL 01 FLASH A CELEBRATION OF 75 YEARS HC GIRLFIEND TP GOON TP VOL 14 OCCASION OF REVENGE GROO VS CONAN TP GYO 2IN1 DLX ED HC JOHN ROMITA AMAZING SPIDER MAN ARTIFACT ED HC LONE WOLF & CUB OMNIBUS TP VOL 08 LUMBERJANES TP VOL 01 MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDS FOREVER TP VOL 03 NEW TEEN TITANS TP VOL 02 POP TP WEIRDWORLD TP WARRIORS OF SHADOW REALM WONDER WOMAN TP VOL 05 FLESH (N52) WORLD TRIGGER GN VOL 05

Arriving 2/4/15

It is SAGA week, so show up for that and stick around for the penultimate HAWKEYE, the new volume of STRAY BULLETS, SQUIRREL GIRL and EAST OF WEST. There are so many more comics just under the cut though!

ACTION COMICS #39 ALL NEW CAPTAIN AMERICA FEAR HIM #1 (OF 4) AMERICAN VAMPIRE SECOND CYCLE #6 ANGEL AND FAITH SEASON 10 #11 ANGELA ASGARDS ASSASSIN #3 ANNIHILATOR #5 (OF 6) ANT-MAN #2 AQUAMAN AND THE OTHERS #10 AVENGERS #41 TRO BATMAN 66 #19 BATMAN ETERNAL #44 BIRTHRIGHT #5 BUNKER #9 CLUSTER #1 COWL #8 CROSSED BADLANDS #71 DAWN OF PLANET OF APES #3 DETECTIVE COMICS #39 DJANGO ZORRO #3 (OF 6) EARTH 2 #31 EARTH 2 WORLDS END #18 EAST OF WEST #17 EGOS #5 ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK #3 FEATHERS #2 FICTION SQUAD #5 (OF 6) GAME OF THRONES #24 GARFIELD #34 NINE LIVES PT 2 GHOST #12 GOD IS DEAD #28 GOON ONCE UPON A HARD TIME #1 GOTG AND X-MEN BLACK VORTEX ALPHA #1 BV GRAYSON #7 GREEN ARROW #39 GREEN LANTERN #39 HAWKEYE #21 HELLBOY AND THE BPRD #3 (OF 5) 1952 HINTERKIND #15 HULK #11 HUMANS #4 IMPERIUM #1 KING JUNGLE JIM #1 (OF 4) KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #217 LADY KILLER #2 LADY MECHANIKA #0 & #1 COLLECTED ED LOBO #5 LOONEY TUNES #223 MARVELS ANT-MAN PRELUDE #1 (OF 2) MEGA MAN #45 MIRACLEMAN #15 MR. NATURAL #3 (OF 3) MS MARVEL #11 NAILBITER #10 NAMELESS #1 NAMES #6 (OF 9) NEW 52 FUTURES END #40 (WEEKLY) NEW VAMPIRELLA #9 ODDLY NORMAL #5 OPERATION SIN #2 (OF 5) POSTAL #1 PUNISHER #15 RAT GOD #1 (OF 5) RED SONJA VULTURES CIRCLE #2 RETURN OF LIVING DEADPOOL #1 (OF 4) ROBOCOP 2014 #8 SAGA #25 SHAFT #3 SHELTERED #14 SIMPSONS ILLUSTRATED #15 SIXTH GUN DAYS OF THE DEAD #5 (OF 5) SKYLANDERS #6 SONIC UNIVERSE #72 SPAWN #250 STAR WARS #2 STEVEN UNIVERSE #7 STRAY BULLETS SUNSHINE & ROSES #1 SUPERMAN #38 SWAMP THING #39 TOWER CHRONICLES DREADSTALKER #7 TOWN CALLED DRAGON #5 (OF 5) TRANSFORMERS MORE THAN MEETS EYE #37 DAYS OF DECEPTION UNBEATABLE SQUIRREL GIRL #2 UNITED STATES OF MURDER INC #6 VELVET #9 WOLF MOON #3 (OF 6) WOLVERINES #5 WOODS #10 WYTCHES #4 X-O MANOWAR #33

Books/Mags/Things ARCHIE COMICS FAVORITES FROM THE VAULT TP ASSASSINATION CLASSROOM GN VOL 02 BACK ISSUE #78 COMPLETE ELFQUEST TP VOL 02 CONAN TP VOL 16 THE SONG OF BELIT DISNEY PIXAR TREASURY VOL 01 DISNEY PRINCESS TREASURY VOL 01 FAMOUS MONSTERS OF FILMLAND #278 GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS TP VOL 02 A STAR IS BORN INHUMANITY TP INVISIBLES HC BOOK 03 DELUXE EDITION SPIDER-MAN 2099 CLASSIC TP VOL 03 FALL OF HAMMER SPIDER-MAN 2099 TP VOL 01 OUT OF TIME STAR TREK CITY ON THE EDGE OF FOREVER HC SUPERMAN EARTH ONE HC VOL 03 WORLD TRIGGER GN VOL 04

As always, what do YOU think?

Things that make me sad: the bookstore division

http://borderlands-books.blogspot.com/2015/02/borderlands-books-to-close-in-march.html Aw, lame.  Borderlands is a swell store.

What gets me the most is they're planning to shut down as a result of the new $15 minimum wage law, but they would otherwise be a going concern -- I, too, am super concerned about this law, as it radically scales up our cost of doing business is a way that really does little for us. Like Borderlands, we sell products with a SRP printed right on the cover and we can't "raise prices" in any significant way to cover increased expenses. Going from $10.74/hr in 2013 to $15/hr in 2018 is a massive increase in a very short time!

The thing is, a higher minimum wage is unlikely to sell any more comics (comics are kind of a luxury item, really!), and I'm not even sure that it's going to help the people it is intended to help anyway -- certainly neither of my managers live in the City any longer because they can't afford rents here, but they're STILL not going to be able to afford it with the new rates.  They're competing with Tech Boomers, who all get paid far more, and there aren't good City policies in place to build more affordable housing stock. And so the price of McDonalds will just go up, which is likely to hurt the person earning minimum wage more anyway.

I've used to be proud for years that we paid more than MW (and for my Managers, we still do), but thanks to the voters of San Francisco, that state of affairs is pretty likely to end before 2018, and that sucks.

San Francisco went chain bookstore-free a few years back, so it's even worse to see surviving indies get pushed out

-B

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE SAVAGE CRITICS!

 photo NewYearB_zps754b83a1.jpgImage by Russ Heath & Robert Kanigher. Taken from Our Army At War #259 (DC Comics, 1973)

Um, that's it really. Thanks to Brian Hibbs for his patience and just, you know, giving me a place to talk about comics for another year. I appreciate it even though I never say so. That's just because I'm an ungrateful ****. It's been a tough year for The Savage Critics what with us losing Graeme & Jeff, who have lit out for the territories and are, even as we speak, reaping the rewards they so richly deserve. God, how the envy consumes me. J Smitty went AWOL, due, I believe, to the demands of building a business and generally providing for his family like a responsible dude. Since this means I now will never find out what happens in ARMAGEDDON 2001 I can't help but doubt his priorities, but I'm sure we all wish him well. Brian Hibbs got another comics shop because he feeds on stress, and he will return to reviewing soon(ish) I'm sure. And Abhay. Always Abhay. Always and forever Abhay. Animator. Lawyer. Lover. Artist. Author. Gamer. God in mortal form. Abhay. Always Abhay.The wind cries Abhay. But above all there is you. Well, you and COMICS!!!

Happy new year! I hope 2015 is kind to you all.

Cheers.

John.

Abhay: 2014– Another Year that I Mindlessly Consumed Entertainment

Best-Of lists!  Do those deserve an exclamation mark?  Probably not!

BEST COMICS

10. "Casual fridays arent allowed in the office after last weeks ‘incident’"

I sought out comics the least this year than any year I can remember. There were definitely times when I'd put down a book I hadn't connected with and just think, "Am I done? Maybe I'm done. Maybe it's been a good run but now's the time to just be finished with all this."

I'm getting old, and historically, comics are aimed at mediocre folks in their early-to-mid 20's. Any illusions I had about what comics could be like if it "got its act together", those got themselves pretty dead-- there's a Dorothy Parker quote I love more than anything: "Nobody on earth writes down. Garbage though they turn out, Hollwood writers aren't writing down. That is their best. If you're going to write , don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you." Comics: this is just the best they can do, the poor things. That narrative that powered me there for a couple years of "I'm watching a great medium rise up from shackles that were wrongly put on it historically" I don't think I believe anymore-- it wasn't "shackles" making faces at Marv Wolfman while he was on the witness stand at his trial to try to reclaim his ownership of Blade, trying to distract him from giving potentially life-altering testimony; it was John Byrne. Most folks want to believe he's some exception to the rule, but you know... Why?  Why believe that?

Plus: I got insulted some this year by folks-- most of that I brought on myself for forgetting how the game works for a moment; some of that was pretty deserved and reasonable; I'm pretty good at letting shit roll-off. But there were a couple moments that gave me pause, a couple times where just the low quality of the people I irritated just made me tired.  Batman's the most popular superhero because he's got the best rogue's gallery; you don't get stronger lifting the lightest weights; there were a couple times this year where I felt like I could have spent my time irritating a much better class of person.

All that shit's starting to wear off though these last couple months; fuck it, comics are rad and having stone-cold dummies dislike you is brilliant; but even at the low-point, here's the thing-- I was still coming across great comics routinely. There's no avoiding them now with social media, with the internet, with everyone being interconnnected. Comics are everywhere; comics are unavoidable; it's incredible what we've all built with each other. This comic-- I don't know how I found it, and I don't know anything about who made it or why or for what, but I just think it's great.

I like how it constantly heightens the emotional deadness of airline safety cards to increasingly bizarre new levels, the speed of it, how quickly everything goes fucking haywire in it. It's not enough that nudity immediately descends to casual fucking-- it's that in the next panel, they're making vases like Patrick Swaye in Ghost. The comic's also a fun example of the audience plusing a joke, adding a perfect punchline the creators hadn't gotten to. For that to have happened, this comic had to have found its perfect audience, and so knowing that happened was a great encouragement, in many different respects.

  • You might also want to check out: Godendeemster, by Theo van den Boogaard and Wim T. Schippers.

9. Prophet #42 by Ron Wimberly / Brandon Graham / Giannis Milonogiannis / Joseph Bergin III.

Aaah, shallow pleasures. This comic just looked fucking dope. Which maybe doesn't sound like a lot to you, but (a) it's comics, stupid-- that's pretty, pretty important, and (b) 12 months later, it's still in my memory of this year, which is the biggest shock. How difficult is that? I forget everything I look at anymore-- comics, people, places; this stuck; it's got to mean something, right?

  • You might also want to check out: I thought that issue of Sex Criminals where the guy was depressed was a pretty solid comic, if you're shopping at that end of the store. I still run pretty hot-cold with that comic overall. I went into that issue (#6?? around there) thinking that guy character was a pile of hot garbage (was that just me? I never see people talk about that, but man-- that dude gave me a pile of hot garbage vibe from the get-go)-- it didn't get me to like him anymore, but it at least made him interesting.

8. Seconds by Bryan Lee O'Malley, Jason Fischer, Dustin Harbin, and Nathan Fairbairn

This was a weird experience, how people wrote about this book when it was about to come out as compared to actually reading it. I felt like everyone who wrote about it focused on Seconds as a hijinx-y Scott Pilgrim follow-up, or a book about coping with life after your Hollywood movie comes out.

But then the book itself? I only read it the one time, but it felt like that book was a real raw nerve. Characters trying desparately to fix everything to make a relationship perfect and constantly failing-- wanting a thing and fucking it all up by wanting it so much. Characters feeling lost in their homes, alienated by their own homes that they'd spent years building. Infidelity and regret, and all the hopes pinned to dream homes slowly crumbling in the distance. That book felt like a heartbreak album, but all the writing I saw about the book beforehand were about mushrooms and zippy happy super-fun times; it just seemed fucking crazy. Comic people like to be polite and "why not just be positive" all the time, but with this book, that attitude really just seemed indiscernible from being functionally illiterate.

Besides thematically, while the narration occasionally felt a little unnecessary, I really liked the character designs, especially the main character who's like a cross between Sonic the Hedgehog and Lina Inverse from Slayers but I still feel like I've met people who have looked like her; neat trick.

  • You might also want to check out: Written in Bones, by Christopher M. Jones & Carey Pietsch.

7. Weapons of Mass Diplomacy by Abel Lanzac, Christophe Blain, & Edward Gauvin 

Wrote about Weapons of Mass Diplomacy here; still haven't seen the movie version but it's on Netflix.

  • You might also want to check out: Jules Feiffer's Kill Your Mother. Not a political book, but another hefty graphic novel-- the first one? not really, but we're all pretending-- focused primarily on the foibles and neuroses of its characters, this one by an artist who manages to be both a widely-celebrated legend and still somehow underrated. Unwieldy sometimes-confusing execution-- Feiffer could have used more of a helping editorial hand on some of his page layouts, but enough of Feiffer's strengths shine through to have made for an entirely pleasant time.

6. The Short Con by Aleks Sennwald and Pete Toms

It's difficult to imagine the kind of person who'd read this and not find some charm to it, or some value in the jokes. One of those rare all-ages comics that actually live up to that description-- and genuinely pretty funny, which is the rarest thing of all. I would like this as much as a little kid as I do now-- not oodles of things that can be said of. One of the few comics where I want to see it adapted into other media-- I want to see the Pixar version; I want to buy a DNA Profiling Kit for my nephews.

5. Eleanor Davis-- Cartoonist Diary

Smarter people than me are all focusing on Davis's book How to Be Happy. Happy's a collection of short evocative pieces concerning characters for whom some numinous moment is slightly just out of reach, comics more concerned with capturing a feeling of yearning than any particularly narrative. It's a strong showcase for Davis's different styles.

But look, I only got that book because Eleanor Davis's Cartoonist Diary over at the Comics Journal was so great. Is any comic artist as perfect for a long scroll webcomic as Davis? Most webcomics, year after year, are just not readable because the people who've made them are so tied to the conventions of print comics, so what a pleasure Davis's work by comparison. While her diary comics don't feature any of her facility with color-- obviously a big selling point for Happy-- I love the immediacy of her figures. They have a little more volume to them than other cartoonists give their characters. Combined with the mostly thick line Davis uses for these, there's a confidence to those figure-drawings, such that it's hard not to feel like I'm in safe hands as a reader immediately upon looking at them. All of the details feel essential, rather than decorative-- there's so little waste to these, but still such lively drawings. And then the contents themselves, despite the limitations of the project, sill manage moments that are striking or portentous, especially in Day Four which I would think is the highlight of those diaries. I think they're pretty fucking rad.

  • You might also want to check out:  Leslie Stein's diary comics.  I just think they're so fun to look at. I don't know that any one installment towers over the others, but following these comics has been a highlight of the year.

4. Copra by Michel Fiffe.

This has been on my year end lists for a couple years now, probably, but I've never really written about it. I've been wanting to do that, but I don't want to just slop something out here. Uhm: I will say that it shifted to a higher gear this year with the single-issue stories, though. The pleasures of Copra have always been the single-issue experience of it, more than some overall narrative, and so this year, it felt like Copra really honed in on its biggest strength.

There were some o-kay serialized comics this year-- the resumption of Stray Bullets and Astro City; I thought the Fade Out's started promisingly; that first issue of Bitch Planet's pretty well-executed if you want something pretty recent.  But Copra's still the only thing I really get excited about when it shows up, the one I'm not on autopilot for.

  • You might also want to check out:  If you're in the mood for action comics, I think Wes Craig's art on Deadly Class are worth a look. That comic is pretty-whatever overall-- there are interesting bits but then, like, also other stuff. Mainstream comic book self-pity weak-boy stuff you've probably seen enough of before.  (The "it's a 1980's period piece" bit hasn't paid off much at all). But Craig's action pages are usually worth a look.

3. Wrenchies by Farel Dalrymple

There was a book last year that I really was not into called Hair Shirts by Patrick Mceown. This book had a similarity but just succeeded where Hair Shirts didn't connect for me. It's a book about abuse, the imprecision of memory, and pop culture as a hiding place and defense mechanism-- but one spoken purely in a vernacular somewhere between a Liefeld-era New Mutants comic, Marc Laidlaw's forgotten cyberpunk short story "400 Boys", the "Explore an environment" fantasy experiments of mid-00's art comics, and obviously, Jonathan Lethem's Brooklyn novels (with whom author Farel Dalrymple had notably worked with before on Omega the Unknown). Sometimes a slippery comic to connect with emotionally-- I'd commend to your attention the lengthy discussion of the book by the Wait What guys, as they really dug into it-- but not a book that skimps on the surface pleasures of comics, even if suspicious or perhaps disenchanted with them.

Anyone who has insight into one of the book's final mysteries is invited to speak up because that's still bugging me.

  • You might also want to check out: I'd suggest looking into Roman Muradov's work; if you can track down his zine The Yellow Zine-- there's not a lot of similarity with Wrenchies content-wise, but there's an intensity to the art that I would wildly guess you'd be sympatico with if you were into Wrenchies.

2. SEXCASTLE by Kyle Starks

Sexcastle is the only comic on this list that I immediately do-not-pass-go drew (lousy) fan-art for after I finished reading it. #1 on a list of Top 10 Comics that Are Awesome, written by me, age 13, Sexcastle is a daydream of the greatest 1980's action movie ever made ... that somehow doesn't suck; my god, there are so many ways this could've sucked. Kyle Starks may not be in the running for that Russ Manning Award, but this was the most purely-fun comic I've read in a long, long time. I got it off Kickstarter, following a random recommendation on an impulse-- I'm not sure where else it's sold, but a new edition is coming from Image next year. If The Tick or Giffen-era Lobo or (I'm too old for Deadpool but whatever the good Deadpool is?) all happened at the same time, were all published in the same year, this comic would just piss all over those. Fall in love.

  • You might also want to check out: Ryan Cecil Smith's S.F., another handmade love-letter, this one to an era of manga/anime most often associated with Leiji Matsumoto. While much more oriented towards younger audiences than Stark's book, this might be a good fit for you if you over-idealize one-man bands trying to put on a big show. I do.

1. Beautiful Darkness by Fabien Vehlmann, Kerascoët, and Helge Dascher.

I wrote about it here. Never in question; always obviously the very best book of the year.

  • You might also want to check out: Kerascoët had another book out this year, through NBM's Comic Lit imprint, written and colored by Hubert, entitled Beauty. It's not quite the triumph that Beautiful Darkness is-- pleasant visually, like all of their work, but a little too on-the-nose with how it's using the medium; doesn't have the same subtlety. But it's still a fun time, a sort of kissing cousin to one of those fantastic Fractured Fairy Tales cartoons that they used to have on the old Bullwinkle cartoons, though little more than that. Doesn't really stick the landing.

WORST COMIC

"Bottle of Wine" by Russ Heath.

Let me start by noting that Russ Heath is by any formulation a comics legend. A Russ Heath comic worth tracking down? I really think the work he did with Dave Sim on Creepy, Shadow of the Axe, is as beautiful a comic as that magazine ever featured. The internet calls it a "forgotten masterpiece" and I have no great disagreement with that.  Even this comic, made by Heath at the age of 84, still shows a facility with the craft of comics that is admirable..

And so when I say I hated the discussion around this comic, the way people received it and discussed it, let me be 100% clear that my problem lies not with Russ Heath or his work or the specifics of the comic itself.

But goddamn.  Hearing dumbasses talk about this comic was like having all my nose hairs plucked out one after another. Comic book people and their multi-decade war with Roy Lichtenstein's art is the dopiest, most exhausting bullshit that... It's never going to stop! Lichtenstein's become a Dick Tracy grotesque villain to comic book dopes, whose intellectual incuriosity and constant unfounded sense of victimization both intersect in a perfect marriage where Lichtenstein is concerned. There's Fredric Wertham, then there's Lichtenstein, then there's some high school gym teacher that wasn't nice enough to you weaklings. It is never going to stop. It's exhausting. You're exhausting.

Here's what Larry Marder had to say in a two-page letter to the Comics Buyer Guide in 1989, when comic people were bitching and moaning about Lichtenstein -- a letter Marder reprinted in 2011 because people were still bitching and moaning about Lichtenstein twenty-two years later: "Over the years, I've met and had conversations with many famous gallery artists (but not Lichtenstein). Quite a few knew and appreciated the art of comic books. But I've never yet had a conversation with a comic book artist who had anything less than a sneer for almost all modern artists. It's a pity."

There are people for whom the only "true" writing is fiction, who are quick to sneer about any kind of criticism as being somehow inherently less-than. But with criticism, an author can express themselves, can craft interesting phrases or sentences, can effect an audience emotionally or intellectually. It's all writing. Criticism is just writing about writing. That's it.  That's all it is. Pop Art? It's still paintings-- it's just paintings of images, instead of a bowl of fruit or Jesus's creepy virgin-momma. Not only is there not anything inherently less than about that, in the context of the time Pop Art was a major movement, that was arguably an interesting thing to question-- what did art mean once images had become mechanized, industrialized, corporatized, constant and anonymous?

It's not Roy Lichtenstein's fault that comic art was anonymous industrial product; comics itself wouldn't print the fucking names of the people who made them in the books for decades.

Is Roy Lichtenstein a "thief"?  Well, to believe that you have to ignore that DC Comics had stolen all the rights to Russ Heath's life work for themselves before Lichtenstein had ever shown up. DC Comics were the only people who could've made a legal issue of Lichtenstein's appropriations because DC Comics is the true and exclusive "author" of those comics in any Court in this country-- not Russ Heath. Is that right? No, it's not-- it sucks; it sucks; but that's not Roy Lichtenstein's fault either.  P.S. when there was litigation to question whether that's how we want society to work, how many comic creators did you see side with the creators of Superman?  Long list...?  Shya'right.

And hey, incidentally, how much did DC Comics share what it made off Russ Heath's art with him? How much does it do that now? DC, through its sponsorship of the Hero Initiative, I guess helped chip in to buy a bottle of $2 Buck Chuck for the guy, and I'm supposed to be grossed out by Lichtentsein and think about what heroes DC are...?

And incidentally, the painting that Heath is complaining of, Whaam!...? Per Wikipedia at least, it's based on an Irv Novick panel, with elements taken not only from Heath but also from a Jerry Grandenetti panel potentially...? Which is just weird. It's "weird" that the people who should be educating the audience as to that point so that the audience can contextualize what Heath is saying failed to even so much as look at the Wikipedia for Whaam!  But that weirdness isn't Lichtenstein's fault either-- none of Lichtenstein's paintings are called "hey, comics journalists, don't bother to do any more than the bare minimum every single time" (though, if any were, he'd probably have stolen the art from Nick Cardy, so... the whole vicious cycle would've just started back up again).

There is a difference between looking at a panel of a comic in a comic book, and standing before paintings the size of a Lichtenstein. There is a difference between getting a flood of noise and someone stopping and saying "No, stop and have a visual experience with just this one moment, with just this one image, divorced of any commercial context." There is a difference between preferring one experience to another, which is entirely valid, and claiming that the latter experience is fraudulent, which is the nonsense of fanboys.

Would it have been a more moral world if Lichstenstein had shared generously with Heath and Novick and others he took from during the extremely-brief period of time where Lichtenstein was doing comic-based paintings (which p.s. not even remotely his whole career... if only someone had invented a google where you could google basic information necessary to reach an informed opinion)? Yes. Absolutely.  That would have been the more moral choice and I wish he had made it. Could Lichtenstein have questioned the manufactured image without appropriating specific instances of comic art?  Maybe; maybe not; I think that something essential would have been lost if he had used his own images, but I can understand the argument.  Is Russ Heath's expression of his frustrations a legitimate way for him to feel? Absolutely. Again, Russ Heath is a great artist who deserved better, and certainly has everybody's respect and admiration; that he ended up in a rough spot is fucking terrible and far too common. Could and should Lichtenstein have done a better job promoting the artists he took from?  Okay.  I don't think that's really his job, actually, but that'd have been nice of him, too, if we're making up our Dream Boyfriend.  Is Lichtenstein a plagiarist? Sure, yeah-- I also heard Quentin Tarantino ripped off a Hong Kong movie one time, and that the Beastie Boys didn't make all the noises on Paul's Boutique themselves, if you want to go get angry about that too, heroes. But sure, is this the best of all possible worlds? It is not. Do Lichtenstein's recreations suffer in comparison to the original work? I think so-- I think there are things about the comics source drawing that Lichtenstein's work loses in their recreations, to their detriment, though I do think I feel why he made those choices when I've look at his paintings.  I'm not saying that there aren't valid criticisms of the guy to be made, with a reasonable temperament-- though I don't think any of those criticisms remotely rise to the level of "interesting".

But if we're going to have hear about this asshole for the next 22 years, can you just at least try to have a better conversation about it than this last round? Pop Art artists weren't just pirates with a xerox machine. Art museums aren't in a conspiracy against comics.  And the Hero Initiative is a band-aid on a gushing wound that wasn't the fault of Roy Lichtenstein.

BEST MOVIES

10. Calvary

For most interesting bit of acting to watch this year, there's a strong argument to be made for Jake Gylenhaal in Nightcrawler. But me, I'd go with Brendan Gleeson in this little-seen Martin McDonagh movie about the state of the scandal-ridden Catholic Church in Ireland. Nightcrawler's very much my kind of movie, a sinister LA crime thing, and Gylenhaal's pretty fun to watch in it. But Calvary? Calvary's not at all my kind of movie. It's a movie about Gleeson playing a priest in a small surfing town under attack by members of his community who have run amuck in no small part because of the Church's moral decline. I could give a shit about the Catholic Church or Ireland or faith or morality or any of that, but I still didn't want to stop watching Brendan Gleeson for a second.

Just the warmth, disappointment, sadness, and intelligence he has-- I don't know how acting works, how a person does that, but whatever that thing is, this is the movie where I was like the most impressed by it.

  • (Tangent: Top 10 lists from movie critics this year more often have the Polish nun movie Ida, but I just really don't think that was as interesting. That one felt like a much safer movie than Calvary, a movie with easier villains to condemn (hint: it's set after World War 2), a much easier conception of "evil" or human frailty to draw a smaller circle around. Nothing in Ida was as blistering or charged as the scene with the little girl in Calvary, at least to me. Ida was just in black and white).

9. Coherence

There's better movies that could and should take this spot-- Nightcrawler, We are the Best, Force Majeure; I think this was a pretty great year for movies, actually. But I'm going with this movie because when I saw it, unlike those other movies, it had been largely unheralded so it caught me much more by surprise, and was a more exciting experience, as such. I think I'm going to remember the experience of this movie surprising me after the memory of those movies fade away. (I'm only going to remember one shot in Force Majeure, though dang, it's a really, really good one).

It wasn't a movie a lot of people were into, very understandably-- it's a largely improvised puzzle-movie about alternate realities whose biggest star is Nicholas Brendan (Xander from the old Buffy the Vampire Slayer show), made for no money. It's a gimmick movie. Force Majeure had the best premise of a year; We are the Best had one of the best endings; Nightcrawler will probably be far most obsessed over by film geeks in future years. I imagine most folks will find Coherence annoying. But I just felt like I watched this movie more actively than almost anything else I saw this year-- it's the movie I most often tried to guess what was going to happen, and most often guessed wrong. I enjoyed playing along at home.

Also, I just like that this year was a pretty cool little year for science fiction movies. Coherence, The One I Love, Interstellar and The Edge of Tomorrow were all imperfect, but taken together, it felt like an unusually interesting year for what's usually a severely disappointing genre. I want there to be more independent science fiction movies like this-- that genre being left in the hands of big Hollywood studios would be the worst of all possible worlds.

 

8. Grand Budapest Hotel

Wes Anderson-- plus Nazis! Go figure.

7. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa

My first draft of this bit was an apology for featuring a dumb comedy on a list like this. Since writing that, though, dumb comedies are under attack, again, with plenty of people all too eager to say "Well, but I don't care this time because dumb comedies are worthless".

And I just emphatically don't agree with those people.

This was co-written by Armando Iannucci who also made In the Loop, the Thick of It, and Veep. Steve Coogan made it around the same time he made Philomena, a movie nominated for Best Picture at last year's Academy Awards. Some pretty clever people got together and made a movie about a character who is sublimely dumb -- clever people sat at a table, thinking up completely ridiculous ways for a character to stupidly bumble and fail his way through a situation, like a complete idiot.

And I think that is true because there is something of value to the dumb comedy. I think that people are basically ridiculous and stupid and absurd. I think people who don't believe that or forget that are draining and miserable and sometimes-dangerous. I think dumb comedies are valuable and worth defending for reminding people that life is a dumb, stupid mess, and that they're taking themselves too seriously. And I think what the kind of person who says something like "oh who cares if there's one less dumb comedy in the world" fundamentally doesn't understand is that I will always want to see a dumb comedy if the alternative is listening to them, know-it-all chucklefucks and their dumbass sub-Blart-ian opinions.

6. The Rover

I think about society falling apart a bunch, and I think when that happens, it's basically going to look a lot like this movie. It's an Australian post-apocalypse movie but nobody dresses up in football cosplay or spikey Ayatollah-of-rock-n-rolla costumes because the movie keys in on the key bit about the whole apocalypse thing: nobody's going to give a shit about anything anymore. Folks not caring is enough to make it all feel like the apocalypse, to begin with. Just look around!

5. Inherent Vice

Here's what an angry review of the movie sounds like: "How long will you remain engaged with a work that seems to purposely challenge the viewer to understand what the filmmaker’s getting at?"

Where things lie, at the end of 2014:  people who write about movies now openly get angry at a movie for "challenging" them.

4. The Raid 2

The best audience experience.

3. Top Five

Another very imperfect movie. And boy, Chris Rock doing a "one-crazy day" movie on paper should not have been a fun thing-- this time, last year, that would have been something to avoid. But I love how it just felt like everything on his mind made it into the movie somewhere, how it felt like it was overflowing with topics he wanted to talk about. There's a romantic comedy story in there, and there's a Sullivan's Travel story in there (the equivalent of the Mickey Mouse scene in Top Five was definitely the biggest movie laugh I had this year), but there were parts of the movie where it was neither of those things, flashbacks in neither of those worlds especially. Even if that made for a mess sometimes, I just appreciated how it just had so much life to it.

2. Housebound

Most movies diminish when I remember them, but my affection for this one has really just grown and grown since seeing it. It's just such a well-crafted piece of entertainment, just the zip of it, how it constantly changes shape, outraces the audience, but still ultimately fits together. There's an old saw about endings, that what makes endings so difficult to write is that a great ending have to be both completely surprising as you're watching but at the same time, after they've happened, completely inevitable. This movie, to me, was one of those rare movies that lived up to that. Hollywood summer movies now all have an identical ending-- "then, they prevent the end of the world". Hollywood summer movies have found an audience so undiscerning, that so doesn't give a shit, that they'll watch a movie that ends with Captain America pushing a candy-red "turn off the evil machine so end of world doesn't happen" button as long as there are enough special effects there. A good movie makes it all look so effortless, in comparison.

Plus, it's hard to think of characters I had as much affection for this year as the characters in this movie-- one character I think I held my breath everytime he was on screen past a certain point, I was so worried for him.

It's rare not to see younger filmmakers try to process their influences-- part of the fun of Attack the Block, say, was watching the filmmakers process a John Carpenter influence. Housebound felt very inspired by early Zemeckis, early Raimi, and the early Peter Jackson that hadn't discovered computers graphics yet and whose work was still possible to enjoy and respect. (The point of those books was not to succumb to the lure of technology, you CGI doofus!) Usually the folks who take from those guys? They take the wrong stuff. They miss what made those filmmakers' early work feel special.

Housebound, it just felt like it got it right.

1. Gone Girl

David Fincher's version of the First Wives Club or Kill Bill. The most fun movie to see people react to, both in a theater and definitely out of a theater.

In the theater itself, for me, the joy of that movie was in how much it got me to root for the so-called "villain" of the piece to rampage through that movie. There is a part of this movie where the villain is about to do something horrible to another human being, and I don't know... I don't know the last time I rooted to see something so horrible happen as much as I did then and there, before that moment ensued. Getting to watch other people experience that, to feel an audience around me having those same emotions, that was a distinct pleasure.

Out of the theater, in terms of living with a movie afterwards, and hearing people have really vigorous opinions about a movie, nothing came close to this movie. And usually the movies that do that are, like, shitty Star Wars movies or whatever because we have to listen to nerds complain that Michael Bay raped their childhood when Spock didn't shoot first, or somesuch stupid bullshit. "What did you think the end of The Dark Knight Rises meant?" "It meant that you wasted a lot of money on college-- might as well have burnt it in a bonfire." Hearing people talking about this movie, though-- it was always something interesting to me, however much it may have revealed how polarized and/or maybe-cartoonish some folks' gender politics can be, or how complicated those questions get for even the most well-meaning people after they see a half-second of Ben Afflecks cock.

I don't know the answers to those questions myself. Does art reinforce people's toxic worldviews? If so, does art have a responsibility to avoid certain topics-- even if those topics are things that actually do happen in reality? Or does the topic get rendered radioactive if the "things that happen in reality" are statistically more rare than toxic people's prejudices would predict? Are people confusing statistics with science, and how much weight should we give to statistics-- which are inherently endlessly debatable-- when thinking about what kinds of stories should be told? Doesn't even thinking about that confuse art with vitamins? Is any kind of high-minded discussion of "art" just the luxury of those not under assault to discuss, or is that kind of argument just a debate-ender that makes the person making it feel good at the expense of actually persuading anyone of anything? Is this kind of discussion all a circus to distract people from "real issues" or are creating circuses like this actually an important function for popular entertainment? There are people for whom these questions are easy-- they have pretty rad tumblr blogs-- but I have days where I'm not all that sure.

My favorite reactions were the people who talked about the movie like it was a grocery-store paperback thriller that stumbled into the questions, stumbled into themes it didn't even know it had-- that A-List filmmakers spent years working on a project and never spent any time thinking about what they were working on actually meant-- sure, sure, left that to some no-name schmoes on twitter to explain Life to the rest of us. Sometimes I think that does happen-- you look at what happened with that Batgirl comic the other day; sometimes, people guess and miss. But I took Gone Girl differently-- I took it to be a deliberate provocation, and so I took seeing people provoked and talking out the issues raised by that story as a sign of the movie's success, as a part of the design of the piece and not some corrective, not as the Internet filling in some cracks in that sidewalk.

Believing that something good comes out of people talking about their experiences-- well, that wasn't an easy thing to believe in 2014; 2014 wasn't exactly The Year the Internet had Worthwhile Conversations. But everybody needs some comforting fairy tales to make it through the day, and as comforting fairy tales go, I guess that's the one I'm going with.

Honorary Mention: Detention

Not a 2014 movie, but it came to Netflix in 2014. This was the movie I felt compelled to see 3 times in a week, just to try to get my head around it. This was the movie I had to read every interview with the director to find out what he was thinking. The movie that's the hardest to talk about coherently, without question.

I haven't read Pax Americana yet, but I saw a page of Grant Morrison arguing that deconstruction somehow murders the pleasure of a thing under examination. Maybe Pax Americana makes the point more persuasively as a whole, though those sorts of reductive readings of Watchmen have never found much purchase with me and seem especially uninteresting to me all the way in 2014; I just think that's a load of malarky, personally. Detention rips to sheds every youth-oriented movie in sight, but from those parts assembles something strange and invigorating and endlessly surprising, a more persuasive and joyous love-letter to the scuzzy weirdo pleasures of teen exploitation sub-genres than any umpteenth John Hughes-ripoff could ever hope to be. It's a pixie-stick of a movie, all rush, all teen hormones-- even after three times, it made my head spin.  Rip everything to shreds; find out how things work; don't listen to company stooges who tell you not to think-- I'm on Detention's side.

Also: the most accurate villain.

WORST MOVIE

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes: I just had the worst reaction to this movie. I can't remember a movie I was as physically unhappy sitting in a theater watching this year. I just don't like watching special effects act. I don't give a shit about Andy Serkis under almost any circumstances. It constantly felt sloppy-- especially in the zero-dimensional human characters who flitted in and out of the movie meaninglessly-- nice job playing "Some Useless Random-ass Woman," Keri Russell! And I just couldn't guess what I was supposed to find entertaining about its story of unsympathetic aboriginal savages facing the violent consequences of not being sufficiently nice to occasionally-misguided-but-fundamentally-well-meaning white invaders; p.s., yikes. Basically, I was on Koba's side, at least before the movie devolved into watching special effects punch other special effects while the guy from Zero Dark Thirty stood around and contributed nothing meaningful to the story whatsoever. A physically unpleasant movie to watch for me-- I basically wanted to run for it.

Most Overrated: Birdman

Interesting to look at, interesting performances, some spectacular bits here and there-- fun while watching it, but a movie that's soured in my memory of it, for just being too phony at its core. Phony about art, phony about the theater, phony about Broadway, phony about critics, phony about "authenticity", phony.

Did the movie have anything interesting to say about anything? I'm not sure that it did, or that if it did, it was anything I care about much, let alone agree with. Yeah-- "there are too many superhero movies"; I'm 100% sympathetic with that, though the movie barely made even that point in an especially interesting way; but if the only alternative the movie can posit is a completely dopey idea of high art (name-dropping Raymond Carver), then who cares about the entire enterprise at all? Just stay home and read books.

Nothing in that movie felt like it really stuck a point-- oh okay, maybe Emma Stone's speech if you're generous enough to believe that speech wasn't carefully crafted to tweak the middle-aged upper-middle-class audience the movie's designed to appease with its Vanity-Fair-magazine-middlebrow bromides about New York Theater. Maybe that. At least for the 10 seconds where Emma Stone got to be an interesting character before becoming Ed Norton's boner-muse. At least for the 10 seconds where he got to be an interesting character before inexplicably disappearing from the movie altogether.

Not a bad movie-- Michael Keaton rushing through Times Square in his underwear's too memorable to call it a bad movie. But a movie that seems exactingly designed to end up winning Most Overrated for 2014.

BEST TELEVISION

I had as many great episodes of television that got left off this list as made it on-- Mad Men, Broad City, etc.  Plus, supposedly great television still in the hopper for me (Happy Valley, Fargo, etc.).  I've been really exhausted from work all year; watching television has been good to me in 2014; this list was a tough one.

10. The League- "When Rafi Met Randy"

9- A Trip to Italy- "Da Giovanni, San Fruttuoso" - Episode Two

The ridiculous immaturity, temporary pleasures and lasting sadness of middle-age. Matt Singer wrote that he was more invested in Steve Coogan & Rob Brydon taking melancholic Trips places as a franchise than Star Wars or Harry Potter. He's not wrong.

8- Person of Interest - "Prophets" 

The best comic book TV show or movie going, though a distillation of the frantic pleasures of serial comics rather than a cheap knock-off of any one property. This episode went the furthest the show has ever gotten in what can only be described as superhero angst and superhero spectacle, all within the narrow confines of a CBS Dad Show! Like reading the X-Men as a 13-year old boy.

7- Friday Night Dinner - S03E03

Friday Night Dinner is so goddamn beautifully made. It's a family show, and because it's a family show, every episode is exactly the same. The jokes are even mostly the same, in a way I haven't seen since Married with Children. Most of the stories don't even leave the one setting, of the house. There's rarely any guest actors. There's something about that consistency, and the characters stuck in that consistency, that make for something extremely special.

The dad who refuses to wear his shirt at home isn't funny because he's got his shirt off and he looks kind of gross; he's hilarious because every goddamn episode, he has his shirt off and it's driving everybody crazy but he's going to have his shirt off this episode, next episode and the episode after that. And ultimately you love that character doesn't have his shirt on because, look, that's who he is and what, you want him to change-- well, he's not going to change so what choice do you have, let him have his shirt off?

There's something about how that show is buit that seems more deeply and honestly funny about the annoyances and weirdness of families that I just don't know what I would even compare it to. I just think that show's remarkable and weirdly beautiful over the long term, despite being somehow completely and resolutely ordinary episode by episode...?

There is one very big exception to the no guest actor rule, and that is horrible Mr. Morris, who might be one of my favorite sitcom characters of all time. Goddamn, that character makes me laugh.

6. You're the Worst- "What Normal People Do"

The best new comedy show in a long time. A Los Angeles show. A dirty-minded romantic comedy. Misanthropic and weird and sexy and funny. This episode was the one where you see Aya Cash's apartment-- it just always seem so specific that show. They're not trying to tell a story about generic people who live anywhere and work in non-descript offices, under some mistaken belief that making a show more generic will make it more relatable to a greater number of people. They're telling a story about these two particular characters who live in these particular places having their own particular romance-- it's just really fun thanks to cable, getting to watch shows that understand why that is so much better.

5. Rick & Morty- "Something Ricked This Way Comes"

The last scene.  Perfect.

4. Hannibal - "Mizumono"

Weird and uneven season, but an apeshit finale. Too apeshit not to admire deeply.

3. Inside Amy Schumer- "A Chick Who Can Hang"

Hello, M'Lady. The Aaron Sorkin Foodroom parody. I haven't been this excited to see a sketch show since Dave Chappelle.

Youtube comment to the Hello, M'Lady sketch: "There are enough tears in this comment section to fill a whole fedora."

2. Review - "Pancakes, Divorce, Pancakes"

1. John Oliver - The Net Neutrality Episode

Honorary Mentions

Conan O'Brien-- The Scrapisode: a deep dive into comedy nerdery, but one I wish they'd do every year; and...

Black Mirror-- White Christmas. A TV movie by the Black Mirror team, starring Jon Hamm, Rafe Spall, and Oona Chaplin-- who was in Inside No. 9's best episode (though maybe a little transphobic, that episode? I'm no expert on that kind of thing)-- A Quiet Night In.  Black Mirror's regular episodes are now on Netflix where I understand it's finally gone viral-- it's worth a look, especially if you like the Twilight Zone or being really sad about people.

LEAST FAVORITE TELEVISION

True Detective - "Form and Void"

Man, do you really want to hear anybody say one more thing about that show? I sure don't! Shut the fuck up! The best thing I can say is that when people started telling me about Serial, I could at least say, "I remember you fuckers from True Detective. Fuuuuuuuuuccckkkk thhaaaaaaat." Thanks, Nic Pizzolatto!

BEST ONLINE VIDEOS

5. "Interesting Ball (12 min) - dir. DANIELS"

4. "Let’s All Watch Mika Brzezinski Learn What a Furry Is"

3. ‘SNL' - Blue River Dog Food

The best comedic performances of the year.  (EDITED: I just realized that items 3 and 4 aren't actually online videos!  They're just TV on youtube!  I'm a moron.  Anyways, imagine I said ... uh, You Are Not a Storyteller and  Skateboard Cop Episode 7 instead.  Also: imagine that I'm wearing a ski mask, and no pants.  I think that's a pretty hot look.  So.  Yeah.  I blew it.)

2. "Unedited Footage of a Bear"

Too Many Cooks was more popular and probably more entertaining, but as discombobulating horror movies go, this one jangled my nerves a little more.  (EDITED AGAIN: Wait, was this... does this count as tv or... AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Okay, imagine I titled this section "Best Short Little Videos You Can Watch on Youtube or Vimeo or a Site Like That, but Whose Origins may or May not Come from Television..."?  Saved it!)

1. "Our Robocop Remake - Scene 27 on Vimeo" by Fatal Farm

NEWS OR NON-FICTION ARTICLES I PARTICULARLY ENJOYED

5. "8 Questions About This News Story About Cormac McCarthy’s Ex-Wife Pulling a Gun Out of Her Vagina During a Fight About Aliens"

4. "The Pitchforks Are Coming… For Us Plutocrats"

I don't know that I agreed with everything this guy had to say but I thought it was a fun polemic.

3. "Ghost ship full of cannibal rats could be about to crash into Devon coast"

2. "Girls Fight Out"

1. "Grandmaster Clash: One of the most amazing feats in chess history just happened, and no one noticed"

And that was 2014.

Abhay: BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS -- Spoilers Galore!

Below the jump is a little essay about BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS, the Fabien Vehlmann & Kerascoet graphic novel published by Drawn & Quarterly in 2014. WARNING: THIS IS AN ESSAY ABOUT WHY I LIKED THE BOOK SO MUCH, NOT A CLASSICAL REVIEW, SO I POTENTIALLY SPOIL PLOT DEVELOPMENTS.

There are two spoilers-- one, I spoil the premise (which ... it's the kind of book if you can go in relatively cold, I'd suggest it), and then near the end, I spoil the ending.  I'm very sorry if you're looking for a review on this one-- I can assure you other people have reviewed it, it's a terrific book and you should go read a review of it if you're curious.  There's also a preview at the D&Q website, if you'd prefer just to see it for yourself-- I think the preview might sell you on it, as it certainly did for me.  I was just very struck by it and just wanted to talk about it freely, so-- sorry if this one is not for you.

Anyways-- that's the preamble.  I'll put a little jump and then we'll get going...

BEAUTIFUL DARKNESS BY FABIEN VEHLMANN & KERASCOET, originally published in 2009 as Jolies Tenebres, translator Helge Dascher.

Let's start with this: Beautiful Darkness is probably going to wind up my favorite comic book of the year.[*1] So, there's that.

The surface reasons why are pretty easy to spot-- it's NOT a book of subtle pleasures: pitch-black gags; unexpected violence and horror-jolts; a pervading atmosphere not just of dread but a corrosive disappointment in people and how people treat one another; and oh, the art! The art rigorously creates a precise world but without being too didactic-- it still has a looseness and improvisation of line that warmly invites the reader in and requires their participation; it's both suggestive and complete. This is a full-blast horror comic presented as a grand children's adventure, but those two tones are balanced by a careful performance with the watercolors, in particular, that somehow bridges both worlds without disrupting either, at least for the most part. No matter what horror or cruelty is being depicted, this book is never not eyecandy of the highest order.

But these are the surface things, shallow things. Other perfectly nice comics have swell surfaces readers can just bounce right off. What makes this one stick?

If it reminded me of anything, Beautiful Darkness reminded me of another favorite book of a couple years back, the Winshluss Pinocchio, another sinister fairy tale notable for its art.[*2] It's not a genre I have any interest in-- the "dark & twisted fairy tale" genre isn't one I'm too hot for, (a) never having been particularly obsessed with fairy tales and (b) because I'm a grown-ass man. I gave up on Fables at 5 or 6 pages into that first issue, don't know anything about Wicked, skipped Malificent or that Twilight-ish Snow White movie, crush beer cans against my head, vomit on preschoolers, murdered a bear using only my genitalia, etc.

But it's got this theme I guess I'm just always a sucker for, every damn time.

SPOILERS? Here is a description of the Beautiful Darkness for context: Beautiful Darkness takes that hoary saying that "sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of," and asks what happens to "everything nice" when the little girl is dead and her body left unattended in the woods to decompose. The confused fairy tale creatues that once dwelled in this dead little girl's body have to crawl out of her corpse and make their way through our hostile world, to survive not only the predatorial nature of woodland creatures their fairy tale logic have left them unprepared for, but also their own darker sides which begin to emerge as the vicissitudes of their new lives ever-so-slowly dawns upon them.

A constant cruelty engulfs these otherwise delightfully drawn characters, but what is key is that the style of the art remains for the most part unchanged throughout these depictions. Fairy tale princesses are drawn with the same buoyancy whether they're preparing a picnic or surveying maggots feasting on a deceased child.

And I think that consistency is what makes that book so thrilling. Yes, I imagine some audience members might find the book's nihilism empty and a spiritual dead-end. [*3] But for me, that consistency speaks to a difficult, oft-asked and usually quite boring question of comics: what can comics do that other media can't? What kinds of stories are comics quote-unquote "best for?"

These are usually NOT very interesting questions to me for at least four reasons.

One, I want to believe that a decent artist can make a wedding cake out of a comic about making toast, while a terrible artist can put you to sleep drawing spaceships flying into an obese elf's twat. [*4] Two, maybe (and this is probably a pretty dumb theory) but maybe the very act of asking these questions over-inspire younger or less talented cartoonists to justify cramming fantasy elements into all of their work, rather than to try to find ways to be visually creative about "regular life".  Like I said, maybe a dumb theory, but just a theory.  Three, most comics simply don't beg the question because they're pretty generic.[*5]

Fourth and finally, the usual, cliched answers to these questions are typically unsatisfying. If one is unlucky, prepare to hear something about the "unlimited budgets" of comics-- even though years of summer movies have made plain that larger budget stories have never equated to more meaningful stories, but instead have always equated to grander and grander schmuck-bait. Scale is not story. Scale is not emotion. Scale is just scale.[*6] If one is more lucky, there ensues jargon about how the "reader controls the pace of the story"-- which is at least true, but so academic that the actual pleasure of the thing just feels lost in it. How does being able to control the pace of a story translate to actual human pleasure? How can it improve a story? The fact a reader can stop reading a comic and look backwards 10, 20, 100 pages-- well, how exactly does that make the experience better? How is this a medium really able to full engage its audience, if its strength are readers who can stop engaging with a story dead cold at whim in order to flip back 50 pages? And is it necessarily true that readers actually exercise this control in a meaningful way with any significant frequency, especially as page counts go up and up? Are there people lingering for hours over Craig Thompson panels when they're contained in 5000 page books one has to slog through, the way people suggest (or panel 43 in the 3rd Vertigo trade of a series, or what have you, pick your poison), or is this just wishful thinking?

But Beautiful Darkness, I just think there's something there.

Because the success of the comic comes from the dissonance (thanks, Roget's Thesaurus!) between the the style of the image and the content of the image-- because that dissonance itself is both what that comic is "about" and how it is about it. We are told the surface story of these characters in a particular vernacular, through a consistent style that only rarely wavers (a children's fantasy style, with occasional interjections of drawings in a slightly more "realistic" mode to convey the non-fairy world), but what is constantly conveyed is not a story we usually associate with that children's fantasy style but something else.

Like the Winshluss Pinocchio, like Tim Hensley's Wally Gropius (another favorite of years past), like (well, I think we could debate whether Jim Woodring comics fit here [*7]), the discrepancy between style and content exists as a warning to the reader to beware the power of the seductive image.

  • The cute character may not be so cute when it's starving.
  • The attractive young lady may not be sweet and safe when she's afraid for her life.
  • An adorable animal may sooner peck you to death than be petted.

Goddamn, I'm a sucker for this theme!

Anytime this theme pops up, my ears just perk up. But ours is a civilization driven by images-- saturated by images designed to manipulate us to our horrifying detriment. This is the story of advertising at least, and the story of advertising is the story of a human overconsumption that basically threatens our species' continued viability on this planet, let alone whatever spiritual cost has been inflicted. A guy in a turtleneck waves around a cell phone on a stage, and people end up waiting in line for days, even though they already own perfectly good cell phones. A politician waves around a test tube full of fucking sugar water, and war ensues. An educated but anorexic gentleman in Gobot cosplay is videotaped manually coaxing himself to orgasm in the back of a Del Taco, and the next thing you know, teen pregnancy rates in the contiguous United States are shooting through the roof. [*8]

We are slaves to Imagery, and to think that sophisticated powers have not realized that fact and have not endeavoured to capitalize upon that fact would be the saddest sort of naivety. Every war in recent memory began with politicans yelling the word "Hitler" at people. The tallest man in an election will usually be elected President of the United States. I can't go into a Del Taco without becoming painfully erect now, painfully. The recent history of mankind is of the power of Imagery at war with human dignity and human progress, and all evidence points to humanity losing that fight pretty fucking resoundingly, holy shit!

As its title makes painfully clear (i.e. me even pointing this out is probably painfully stupid), Beautiful Darkness is comprised of "beautiful" images, but then very explicitly hides beneath those "beautiful" images a constant threat of violence and betrayal for those silly creatures stupid enough to believe the image and not look for the reality. Beautiful Darkness is redolent with surface pleasures but it is itself a warning about the lure of those very same pleasures. [*9]

This seems like a uniquely comic pleasure, the central pleasure of the thing arising from the dissonance between image and content. Would Beautiful Darkness have worked in any other media? Not in the same way-- styles in film media, at least, are all bound by the limitations of photography, light, time, the economic expense of CGI; styles in books would come across as an affectation instead of the world-building that the visual information in comic can service. In film, violence would not be perpetrated onto fairy characters, but onto actors and actresses playing those characters. Actors/actresses are themselves inherently loaded images.  Indeed, maybe the underlying "rightness of the status quo" is invariably reinforced by the very existence of the movie itself-- maybe a celebrity actor (e.g. Billy Joe Brando) makes any movie into A Billy Joe Brando Movie, no matter what that movie has to say about our relationship to the Billy Joe Brando(s) of the world-- why we create them, how we project onto them, etc.

Disney fans among you may be yelling at your screen "Gaston from Beauty & The Beast! This comic you're hot for is just a horror version of the Gaston story, you dickless baboon."[*10] But I would argue that the illusion of life that the Disney animators are so dedicated to is maybe the ultimate example of the problem I'm trying (and failing!) to get at. Even setting aside the narrow range of styles that have been typically utilized in big studio animation [*11], how effective can something that uses the illusion of life as its central appeal be as a tool to question our illusions? How can a medium interrogate the images around us when it has as its central goal to hold an audience in its thrall through the various deceptions of the "moving picture"?

Maybe comics are a narrative medium where there is enough distance between the image and the reader that the reader can stay awake to the essential falsity of images and can really think about what our images are doing to us. Maybe the pleasure of comics is that the reader is not only told something visually, but can question how they are being told it in a way that is far more true than is the case for film, games, television, etc.  Aaah, I just get into this fucking theme when I see it!  Goddamn!  Both Mannie Fresh and I, fools for this beat.

But of course, even in comics, there is little cause for hope.

The American comic reader is typically presented with persistent fantasy images, most sponsoring fantasies of power, celebrity, the worship of youth, all the usual racial and sexual bullshit as to what constitutes "normal" for a hero. [*12] HERE AGAIN A SPOILER WARNING FOR THE ENDING OF THE BOOK. And this, of course, is the ultimate ending of Beautiful Darkness-- the comic does not end with any "liberation" from images, but with one of the fairy tale characters even revealed to be mindlessly in love with the benevolent image of a sinister patriarchy that would surely be hostile to her existence if it deigned to even notice her. The characters aware of the danger around them and the folly of the images they are surrounded with are ultimately no more empowered by this information than any other character, and meets no better a fate.

Understanding the power of images over us doesn't mean that we are freed from their power.

Understanding we can be destroyed by what we love doesn't mean we can't help but find it beautiful anyways.

***************************************************

ENDNOTES

[1] At least in the category of Comics That Aren't Sexcastle since Sexcastle deserves its own category. My favorite comic book in the category of Comics That Are Sexcastle? Probably that issue of Captain America where Falcon gets date-raped by jailbait, or whatever. Surprise win!!  I really thought Sexcastle had a shot at winning that category! It's a real Dewey Defeats Truman.

[2] Pinocchio is the stranger and more inexplicable work, and so for me, maybe the more impressive work, in that it's a little more committed to its sinister dream logic.

[3] I would think that nihilism might invite a "corrective takedown" type critical review-- Hooded Utilitarian-style or what have you. I'd kinda think that'd be something someone out there would be inclined to write-- I remember people expressing concern in the past when books come out and only got glowing reviews, a conversation about that Dash Shaw family book, in particular.  I don't know-- we'll see, I guess.  Also, while I'm rambling nonsensically, did you know that some Marvel Comics super-fan went into the wikiquote for the word "nihilism" and threw in a quote from Thanos (via Jim Starlin)?  "The Universe will now be set right. Made over to fit my unique view of what should be. Let Nihilism reign supreme!"  Whoever put that on the Wikiquote page is a Goddamn American Hero.  I salute you.

[4] This joke will be made into a 13-hour movie by Peter Jackson in 2016. Congratulations, losers!

[5] "Why isn't this a movie?" when asked of certain Image Comics in my apartment would usually be followed by a long sigh, exhausted moments spent staring out at the horizon silently with shoulders drooped, and a light smattering of snickering and eye-rolling. Followed by back-rubs, champagne and readings of some erotic poems I'm working on entitled "Ode to Making Sweet Love" (hey, what rhymes well with "booty-shaking"?). I'm not going to lie-- it'd get pretty fucking hot weird fast. There'd be, like, crazy necking going on. You know it. You know how we make it do [*13]. Then, things would just escalate out of control. Pleasure would become pain and pain would become pleasure. All the cheese in my fridge would stay cheese but grow a thick head of curly dark hair. Some people don't mind, but me, I don't like accidentally eating cheese-pubes. The art on Southern Bastards is pretty good, though-- I really like how Jason Latour draws noses!

[6] This sort of talk is great if you like comics about talking animals wearing jetpacks or talking slices-of-apple-pie with throbbing hard-ons firing rayguns into writhing piles of angry babies. Some people get really excited by this sort of thing, and yell "comic books!" and throw their little adorable fists into the air.  Those people aren't "wrong"-- hey, pleasure is pleasure. I would just prefer my dessert after a dinner.

[7] I dont think Jim Woodring counts since his work is so much of its own thing and so maybe pointless to talk about this way, but I feel like other people might disagree. I imagine there are a lot of examples I'm forgetting but just glancing at my own bookshelf just isn't helping to remind me what I'm missing. Perhaps this speaks to the deficiency of my bookshelf though... Or just the crappiness of whatever I'm babbling about up there. Maybe I'm full of shit. Who cares? If you're reading endnote 7, we can be honest with one another, I think. For example: sometimes I worry that being really handsome, I make my friends feel bad about their own bodies. I might very well be the leading cause of bulimia among middle-age introverts in the Tri-County area.  That's just something I have to live with. God, it's good to finally just admit the truth!  I love America.

[8] It is of course a well recognized logical error to mistake correlation for causation, and for that reason and also to avoid a lawsuit, I am compelled here to say that I don't think Del Taco's food causes teen pregnancy. But I do think teen pregnancy causes Del Taco's food. Confusing? Yes but not as confusing as why America's teenagers are all so addicted to the Del Taco Masturbation Follies category on Pornhub.

[9] For some readers, there might be a logical disconnect to all this hagiography I'm engaged in. After all, would I have bought Beautiful Darkness had it not been drawn in such a "lush" (ugh! I need a new adjective!) manner by the Kerascoets (the pen name for husband & wife illustrator Marie Pommepuy and Sabastien Cosset)? Does our understanding of that market reality somehow undercut what I'm talking about here, the way some people think certain movies are at their silliest in complaining about violence when they are themselves gory exploitation films? Or do we just say "don't hate the player hate the game, p.s. hip hop hooraaaaay hoooo hayyy hooooo hip hop hooray hoooo hayyy hooo triggers from the grilltown illtown some ask how it feels now the deal is that we're real so we're still round don't lamp with a freestyle phantom, aint' trying to be handsome, shrinking what you're thinking cause I'm vamping I live and die for hip hop this is Hip hop for today I give props to Hip Hop so hip hop hooray hoooo hayyy hooo hayyy hooo"? [*15]

[10] I have a nearly [*14] fully functioning penis.

[11] The "none of these people can draw more than one kind of woman in any of these goddamn movies" factor. We get it-- you want to fuck an elf girl! [*4] Those years at Cal Arts really paid off, Casanova.

[12] I get really creeped out when defensive fans point at drawings of male superhero chests when they're making arguments about sexism in comics, incidentally-- I haven't seen anyone talk about male chests as much as comic fans being defensive about sexism in comics. I'm not trying to setup a joke. That's really genuinely creepy behavior.  Way too into discussing man-chests!

[13] We make it do with necking.

[14] I don't want to talk about it.

[15] "You heard a lot about a brother gaining mo' ground, Being low down I do the showdown with any little ho round, no! I wanna know who you're believing, through your funny reasons Even when I'm sleeping you think I'm cheatin' You said, "I know you, Mr. O.P.P. man Yo PP man, won't only see me man" You should've known when I ain't hit it and step That I was wit' it a bit not to consider the rep, heck! I did your partner cause she's hot as a baker Cause I'm Naughty by Nature, not cause I hate ya! You put your heart in a part of a part that spreads apart And forgot that I forgave when you had a spark You try to act like something really big is missing Even though my name's graffiti Written on Ya Kitten I love black women always and disrespect ain't the way Let's start a family today Hip hop hooray hoooo hay hoooo hay hooooo Hip Hop Hoorayy hoooo haayy hoooo haaaay hoooo."