Back to it: Hibbs considers the countdown

(Honestly, I wrote this yesterday, but blogger wouldn't let me post it then...)

OK, lets see how dusty my muscles have become...

COUNTDOWN #38: I was actually starting to think that this was getting at least a little better -- there was some plot movement in the last couple of weeks, and the return of Giffen to the breakdowns helped the storytelling a little. But, no, I read this issue and was left with another horrible taste in my mouth.

Part of it is just the sheer sloppy nature of the book. Maybe its that there's too many things going on in the DCU, and the traffic managers can't get it right; maybe its that books aren't where they are supposed to be, and there are fill-ins all over the place, and the cover was mocked up 12 weeks ago... but I knew there was a problem when I saw that cover with "The First Appearance of Mr. Action!" on it; and the burst-logo "Collector's Item!"

Neither is true (though the second is far less true than the first), and if you can't get your cover right, what else can you do wrong? I don't know... maybe they're trying to be Ironic? Maybe even Sarcastic? But, either way, it just don't work.

This sloppiness continues inside in a couple of places: there's the "the rogue's are stated again and again to be bumbling idiots, yet they keep escaping from deathtrap encounters versus people out of their weight class" or "The Calculator tries to black out cities, and drop airplanes from the sky to distract Oracle, but doesn't think to send some simple muscle to her place... at the same time Karate Kid and No-Powers Girl effortlessly break in" (Sure, he's from the future... but I dare you to go back in time to 1007 AD and effortlessly find... well my History-Fu is weak, come up with the appropriate comparison)

(Plus, you know, if you're DYING, I'd be kind of interested to understand why you're going to a computer specialist, really -- wouldn't a prominent DOCTOR, say a Midnight, or even a Fate be a much better decision? Jes' sayin')

But I think my favorite sloppy-ass Howler was the sequence on the boat with Zatanna where she casts a spell on the crowd of onlookers in danger. That spell? It is something very much like "teg dniheb em!", or, really, the equivalent of "watch out!" -- it's not a spell, its a warning! (now, of course, if the art showed the crowd magically teleporting behind her, then, sure, spell... though I would think that "snailivic to ytefas!" would have been a better phrasing in any case)

That was basically the moment I looked at the comic and though, "Man, they really don't care, do they?"

Everyone and everything in this story is dancing to dictates of the Plothammer -- but the plotting doesn't really make much sense, or come from a place that is especially interesting, and none of the individual storylines seem to have much thematic connection to the others. Plus, there's way too many Big Coincidences -- the threat to Oracle JUST HAPPENS to occur when KK shows up; A random ship in the ocean where Z and MM are JUST HAPPENS to be the one where more Kirby Kharacters die; and so on.

And all of this serves to make everything occurring seem to be weightless and unmoored to the universe around it. WHEN are events happening? I mean is "Amazons Attack" OVER at this stage? All of the characters in the first part of the book seem focused on Oracle's issues. Clearly "The Sinestro War" isn't happening concurrently with this -- there's Hal on Earth on page 2. In fact, why are the Monitor Corp so hung up on the Joker's Daughter and Donna Troy when Superxxx Prime and the frickin' ANTI-Monitor are wandering around out there?

I don't know, I'm almost certainly over thinking this all.

Things are probably still redeemable -- certainly LOST got infinitely better in its latest eight episodes or so, fixing a lot of the meandering problems it had in the 20 episodes before that, and steering straight towards a visible (if not understood) conclusion -- and maybe Mike Carlin can fix this mess in the back half of the title... but I wonder if the audience is going to care... or, if they even care whether they'll come back. Comic readers (esp mainstreamy superhero focused ones) are often very pedantic about their "collection". It is hard, if not impossible to entice people back into a mini series they've already sampled and dismissed. Its not like an ongoing monthly, people will leap on and off of those at will -- but minis just "feel" wrong in the collection if you don't have them all. There's an "I'll wait for the trade" moment if there is one at all.

Also: for the record, my FOC (Final Order Cutoff) for COUNTDOWN #35, I adjusted my number downwards yet again, and it just hit half of _52_ -- we were ordering about 75 copies of most issues of _52_, and my order for COUNTDOWN now stands at 37. I suspect this week's "Mr. Action" cover will chase more people off, and next week will be 35 copies or below. I don't think, at this point, it is going to stabilize until it gets to the 25-30 copy range. Which, ugh, is going to be really bad for the hassles of dealing with a weekly comic.

Either way, this individual issue of the series, as a single use of your $2.99, is pretty AWFUL.

What did YOU think?

-B

Hooray for Pointless Shilling: Jeff Talks Garage Sale.

My intention was to be back by now with a surly review, a sweeping overview, and some general sass talk, but one of the freelance jobs I've been doing since leaving CE keeps expanding and expanding, and blotting out all my free time. But! I did want to make those of you who follow the blog that my annual garage sale is coming up on SATURDAY, AUGUST 18th from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. on Cortland Avenue in Bernal Heights.

Those of you who follow the blog or shop the store will probably remember previous years where I breathlessly blabbed about what I was selling, posted photos, and just generally begged people to show. I may actually be too busy to do that this time around (and it's not like this site is starved for content these days) but I may give you at least one picture post as I get closer to the actual date.

Because Joe Keatinge and Chris French did such a masterful job of cleaning me out last year (both years, in fact), I'm not sure yet if I'm gonna have as wide a selection as previous years. But I know I'm going to be letting go all my uncollected Walking Dead issues, probably all of my issues of 52 (I've got 52 of 'em, but whether or not I can actually find them all is another matter), stuff I talked myself into buying and regretted later (hello, City of Others!), assorted Kirby stuff I've since collected (some of the New Gods and Jimmy Olsen stuff I don't need now that I have the Omnibus, a bunch of old "Marvel Comics Presents" reprints)...all of it for a quarter apiece (or twenty cents apiece if you buy ten or more, I think). I've still got a lot of digging to do, so there'll probably be more on top of that, but that's what I'm thinking of for starters.

Additionally, I'll have manga, trades, action figures and toys, some DVDs and a freakin' buttload of cheap PS2 games since I put that electronic crack pipe in storage a few months ago. Since I no longer work at CE and pick up any number of crazy-ass things on a whim, this may be my last hurrah so if it sounds tempting you should go.

And with that, I'll return you to regularly scheduled reviewing blog and get myself set up for my 3:00 meeting. Remember, Saturday, August 18, Cortland Avenue, 9:00-4:00. It'll be worth your while.

My Life is Choked with Comics #4 - The Naked Cosmos

Greetings, children of the cosmos! Today's column is going to cover one of my favorite topics: mind-expansion.

And I can think of no better way for us to start off than expanding our minds away from comics, and toward the filmic arts. It’s a natural progression, really; as widespread media coverage of the San Diego fiesta teaches us year in and year out, the true excitement in comics is actually excitement in movies, whether through direct adaptations of comics, or maybe just general ‘geek-friendly’ pictures, which are apparently just as good. Now, I may not have actually watched any of those things since Superman Returns and its concluding three reels of people weeping into their shirtsleeves, but I do know what side my bread of anticipation ought to be buttered on!

Oh, but I think I may have unwittingly revealed my tragic secret, folks. The thrill is gone for me, personally. I mean, the announcement of a new comic-book movie used to have my hairs standing on end. The two-fisted gallantry of Ghost World, the blood and thunder of American Splendor - I couldn’t wait to burst into the theater lobby cosplaying as Joyce Brabner. But these days, mere adaptations just don’t get my ass into a nine-dollar seat. Iron Man? The Dark Knight? In the Valley of Elah? Feh. Wake me when someone’s got Bratpack up on the screen. These days, I need something stronger to get me perked up. Like, say, a more potent fusion of funnybook something-or-other and movie-like presentation or thereabouts.

Yep, what really does it for me these days, is comic-book creators actually making movies themselves.

My anticipation for The Spirit is running wild, of course. But, you know, I kind of like these things better on a shoestring. No big money. No heavyweight movie talents. Just a person from one medium venturing out there and getting things done in another. For example, there’s Mike Allred’s 1996 feature Astroesque, the film layer of his multimedia Red Rocket 7 project of the time. I don’t know if you’ve seen Astroesque; it’s on a dvd with the Christopher Coppola-helmed Allred adaptation G-Men From Hell, and it’s mostly footage of Mike Allred running away from (or perhaps toward) people in a ditch, with extra added fart jokes and guitar strumming. I can’t even look at Madman Atomic Comics today without thinking “that Mike Allred guy sure knows how to run.” It’s 100% true.

Or how about Sam Kieth’s 2000 feature Take It to the Limit, which I believe originated as a horror project for Roger Corman, and ultimately ended up as a family-friendly rock-climbing movie? Hell, let’s not even be recent; the IMDB denies this exists, but Neal Adams totally directed a 1987 kiddie flick titled Death to the Pee Wee Squad, starring his kids Jason and Zeea (take that, Robert Rodriguez), and no less than Troma Entertainment has a poster to prove it. Haven’t seen that one.

Now, you may have picked up on a slightly facetious tone thus far. But I genuinely do admire these attempts to make films -- complicated, troublesome, life-shortening things they are -- with little money and maximum enthusiasm. And I do think it’s fascinating to watch seasoned comics professionals branch out into this rocky territory.

But the most fascinating one I’ve seen hails from 2005, and it doesn’t even resemble a movie so much as episodes from a public broadcast show gone incurably mad. Yet it's funny, and surprising, and altogether recommended. Directed and written and starring and partially scored by none other than the great Gilbert Hernandez. You’ve heard of Hernandez, I’m sure. As co-creator of Love and Rockets and a general comics legend, Beto needs no introduction, yet it’s worth noting a few things about his body of work for our purposes.

While best known for his tales of the Latin American village Palomar, Hernandez has explored many varied genres and subject matters. His comics reflect a great appreciation for soap opera, fantasy, sex, and various species of low-budget film. Sometimes his works mix and match tropes to the point of tonal incoherency; his 1996 Dark Horse miniseries Girl Crazy veered from cheesecake superhero spoof to gore-spattered will-to-power fable without ever slowing down. He also has a love for intuition and improvisation, which sometimes leads him down odd paths; while somewhat underrated, his 2002 Vertigo miniseries Grip: The Strange World of Men did wind up spending an awful lot of space bending over itself with flashbacks for the purposes of explaining things the reader has been shown. But, at his best, all of these elements combine to form comics of uncanny poise and worldview, all of it transmitted through his often stunning command of the primal elements of the page, the viewpoints and the location transitions and that beautiful illusion of movement. Few do it better.

Most of these elements are also at work in The Naked Cosmos, Beto's grand foray into shooting actors and scenes with a video camera. I can't quite call it a movie, since it's structured like a quartet of episodes of a television program. Indeed, some sources claim that these episodes actually aired on public access television in the Las Vegas area, although my own searches indicate that this is merely the concept behind the work, a simulation of various episodes that actually builds and climaxes as a singular thing. Regardless of what it is, rest assured that it's very funny, very eccentric, and prone to lapsing into wonderfully jarring zones of melancholy and violence. From a filmmaking standpoint, it certainly represents a level of forethought as to how to cope with the project's obvious monetary limitations. Hell, a strange television show needs to look low-budget, and director/writer/star Hernandez more than rises to the challenge.

Also, by 'star,' I actually mean 'performer of all adult male roles.' Yep, Beto plays a whole lot of characters in this thing, and his wife, Carol Kovinick, plays nearly all the rest (so, all adult female roles). Daughter Natalia Beatriz Hernandez plays all children, regardless of gender. There's also exactly one scene in which Beto shares the screen with another male character, his face obscured. I have unilaterially decided that this is Mario Hernandez, although I have no proof to back that up, nor do I actually know what Mario Hernandez looks like.

The plot concerns a fellow named Quintas (an effeminate, black-garbed Hernandez with lipstick, eyeshadow and a blonde wig), who's the host of the show we're watching - The Naked Cosmos. Quintas only wants to urge his viewers, the children of the cosmos, to harmonize with the astral plane and stuff like that. He's very weird, and somehow sad, prone to pondering the existence of a mysterious purple disc that seems to take everyone away for fun and memorable rides except for him. Sometimes he needs an injection, which momentarily causes his facial veins to pop and foam to pour from his mouth. Beto completely freaks out with the character at least twice per episode, including several episode-closing exhortations to look to the skies, howled at the top of his lungs.

Quintas also wants to have an entertaining show, but he's often interrupted, especially by Kalisto (Hernandez with a thin felt mustache, a Zorro mask, and a purple cloth around his head), his clone, and the rational, scientific blowhard yang to his spacey, gentle yin. Catchphrase: "You have the mind... OF A CHILD!!" Both clones pine for Mistress Velda (Kovinick in a blonde beehive), a perky researcher of some sort, and both seem to answer to the Chief (Kovinick wearing a leopard mask and speaking only Spanish), for seemingly little reason. Rounding out the cast is Ego (Hernandez in a long blonde good ol' boy wig with a shaggy mustache), who has the power of teleportation, Mr. Mims (Hernandez with glasses, in hyper-nerd overdrive), the show's meek aide, and Zansky (Hernandez standing upside down with his face pressed through a black screen, with little eyes and glasses and hair pasted to his chin), a naughty Ninth Dimensional entity who introduces educational film clips that are actually random bits of various public domain movies pasted together.

Basically, each 'episode' consists of bizarre sketches and routines, broken apart by still details from some astrological map, and that old public tv standby of footage of high-tech equipment set to spooky space music. Most scenes take place in front of a simple background, although sometimes characters wander out into the desert, and occasionally there's a special bit like the aforementioned films or a runtime-padding exploitation-style travelogue scene set to narration (the setting: Las Vegas, of course!). The humor is deeply, deeply odd, and only rendered more surreal by Hernandez's wildly devoted performance(s), joyfully blurring the line between a character in a show nervously reading off of cue cards and Gilbert Hernandez reading his character's lines off of cue cards, although sometimes he seems to be making his lines up as he goes along. There's even a bit where Quintas narrates a story, which is visually depicted via Gilbert Hernandez drawings.

It's actually quite tempting to draw parallels between this madness and Beto's comics work. There's plenty of comics references, including some sanctum sanctorum dialogue and a scene where Quintas reads a copy of Amazing Adult Fantasy #11. But even Hernandez's structural approach to the film, small half-scenes breaking off into different ones in different locations that eventually add up to a cumulative impact rather than a directly narrative one, are reminiscent of some of his page layouts as of late, with bits and burbles of talk snapping off, the reader's eye careening from location to location (I found the Beto bits from the new Love and Rockets #20 to embody this style nicely). Granted, Beto also layers his film with an added coat of concept, it being a type of formulaic television program, but the likenesses are still interesting.

Hernandez also includes a full-length 20-page comic book with the dvd, for even easier comparison, but he opts to use that forum to fill in the lives of the characters outside of the show, melding the tragic(!) saga of Quintas and Kalisto into a two-fisted, blood-spattered superhero epic, complete with a double-page center splash of war against a horde of mutants. It both serves as prelude to and summary of the actual film, in that Quintas' and Kalisto's rivalry ultimately leads to a (literally) show-stopping battle in the desert, Gilbert Hernandez flailing madly in two costumes at an off-camera opponent as the visuals cut from Quintas to Kalisto to Quintas to Kalisto. Needless to say, only the innocents are hurt when opposing forces of the human condition meet, leading to a burning action figure and Gilbert's many characters flailing in sadness before vast desert vistas, as if the latest episode of Jack Horkheimer's Star Hustler has ended with Jack shooting a man while looking him in the eye and lamenting before his video background.

It's bananas. Yet, it's a wholly Gilbert Hernandez type of bananas. Honestly, this may be one of the most emphatic translations I've seen of a comics artist's 'feel' from sequential art to another medium. Consider my head in the stars! You can still order this dvd (region-free, though NTSC) from Bright Red Rocket, its publisher, and I think Beto's admirers will probably enjoy it. Hell, you might enjoy it if you just enjoy weird stuff, like a comics legend prancing around in silly costumes and bugging his eyes out at everything. Part of the joy of culture, I think.

POS Follies Part 10, the conclusion

So, the Point of Sale has now been live for a week, as of today, and I have to say I'm in love.

There have been issues, of course -- the primary one being me trusting the Barcodes that were already in the system thinking "well, they must have scanned clearly at Starclipper, so they must all be 100% right!" Well... no. Nice idea in theory, but pretty crap in practice. I'm not 100% clear on why the differences exist -- perhaps they're from Diamond-provided codes that hadn't actually ARRIVED at SC for confirmation when they sent me the database, or something along those line -- but either way the problems are easy enough to fix, even in the middle of a transaction, and looking up books is as fast as your typing skills will allow. (So... slow for most of us Comix Experiencer types!)

I'm pretty comfortable with the gun-gun-gun nature of transactions now -- in fact, I sorta doubt I can get much faster because there's a small but crucial lag (a quarter second? Less?) between gunning an item, and the system recognizing it, but there's NO DOUBT that scanning in a stack of comics takes a whole lot longer than typing "7x299[category]" does on a cash register.

Where I can improve my time is in learning the shortcuts built in the system -- some of which are intuitive, and a few that aren't.

MOBY is the only POS system I've ever used, but, even with only a week of being live and using it, I can pretty unreservedly recommend it. The small quirks of "well, that's not how *I* would have implemented such-and-such" are often down to me just retraining my mind to HOW to do something. Everything I do and think about comics retail is very much defined by having done it in certain ways for EIGHTEEN YEARS, so challenging my preconceptions is always a decent thing.

I'll give you an example: order check-in. MOBY has a check-in procedure that I, personally, find overly-pedantic. You have to scan every bar-code in TWICE, you have to manually confirm the pricing on an item, you have to positively tell it that there are no damages.

I understand these choices -- and if I was trying to "idiot proof" a system myself, I'd probably make very similar ones. Thing is, I've got a damage rate of like .001%. Prices don't change from solicitation on 99.989% of all comics, and, so far, the barcodes for the Marvel and DC books that show up with your weekly invoice (if you've asked them for "extended format") look to be similarly accurate. I'm hoping to convince them to build me a feature that allows me to just say "YES! The invoice is fine, just import it as is", and then fix the 2-5 mistakes "in post"

(I always tend to believe that "as long as you have enough 'coverage', you can *always* 'fix it in post'" -- and doing so is usually faster than being a total fuckin' anal pendent about getting it 100% correct upfront)

Anyway, my part of check in took me an hour last week, and only 40 minutes this week. I bet I can get it down to 20 minutes or so eventually.... but I'd rather it be, y'know, 30 seconds of "Yeah yeah, it is all good", followed by 5 minutes of fixing mistakes...

One thing I LOVE about MOBY is that I can make a suggestion, and then Mark will actually work on it -- now that's customer fuckin' service!!

We've still got some minor problems and things to work out and around, but the overwhelming bulk of the work is now done, and the ability to reorder with the push of a single (series of) button (s) is... OMG! I used to spend 3 hours walking the floor every week reordering stuff, and now its going to be an approximately 10 minute process.

What you do, see, is tell it what your "minimum copies on hand" should be -- "I *always* want to have at least 3 copies of WATCHMEN on hand" or whatever -- then when you do the reorder process, if you have less than 3, it does all of the math to tell you how many you should be ordering, and spits it out in a format that Diamond understands. All I have to do now is CONFIRM the data I've been given, and maybe massage a book here or there, or look for things that maybe I didn't want to commit to a specific number until I actually saw the final product. Roolage!

My efficiency is going to double (at least)

Ultimately, if you're an existing comics shop: bite the bullet, and Just Do It -- I'm going to get back all kind of time that I used to use doing rote scut work, that can now be used more productively. If you're a NEW store, then don't even THINK about opening without POS in place.

FOr myself, I can definitely recommend MOBY to you. I may be screaming about it in a few weeks when I have to do my first order form with it, and have to beat the learning curve, but I can most certainly tell I'm going to save buckets of time in the long run by computerizing this stuff; I'm not going to sell out as easily of stuff I "forget"; and I'm NOT going to double-order stuff because I'm a doofus. Those two alone will probably pay for the cost of the system and the software in six months!

So yeah, fourteen flavors of sheer awesome, and it's going to make a damn fine comics shop way way better.

Now that we're on the downslope of the data entry that needs to be done, I'll also be making a return to reviewing. Graeme, monster that he is, wants me to review the porn, but that might be too much of a Big Boy move after not reviewing jack or shit in like six weeks or something.

So, reviews from me again starting (probably) tomorrow, yay!

In the meantime: Here's what arrived this week at CE:

AMAZING SPIDER-GIRL #11
ANNIHILATION CONQUEST WRAITH #2 (OF 4)
ARMY OF DARKNESS FROM ASHES #1
ARSENIC LULLABY PULP EDITION #1
AVENGERS CLASSIC #3
BAD PLANET #2 (OF 6) (RES)
BATMAN #667
BATMAN CONFIDENTIAL #8
BATMAN STRIKES #36
BERLIN #13
BLACK ADAM THE DARK AGE #1 (OF 6)
BLADE #12
BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #128
BOYS #9 (RES)
BPRD KILLING GROUND #1 (OF 5)
CARTOON NETWORK ACTION PACK #16
CASANOVA #8
COUNTDOWN 38
COVER GIRL #4 (OF 5)
CRIMINAL #8
DAREDEVIL #99
DARK TOWER GUNSLINGERS GUIDEBOOK
DEADMAN #12
DMZ #22
DYNAMO 5 #6
EXILES #97
FABLES #64
FANTASTIC FIVE #3 (OF 5)
FANTASTIC FOUR AND POWER PACK #2 (OF 4)
GEN 13 #11
GHOST RIDER #14
GLISTER #1
GREEN ARROW YEAR ONE #3 (OF 6)
GREEN LANTERN #22
GRIMM FAIRY TALES #16 (RES)
GRIMM FAIRY TALES RETURN TO WONDERLAND #2 (OF 7)
HEDGE KNIGHT 2 SWORN SWORD #3 (OF 6)
INCREDIBLE HULK #109 WWH
INDIA AUTHENTIC UMA #4
IRREDEEMABLE ANT-MAN #11
JACK OF FABLES #13
JLA CLASSIFIED #41
MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #30
MARVEL ILLUSTRATED LAST OF THE MOHICANS #3 (OF 6)
MARVEL ILLUSTRATED MAN IN THE IRON MASK #2 (OF 6)
NEW AVENGERS #33
NEW AVENGERS TRANSFORMERS #2 (OF 4)
NEW EXCALIBUR #22
NICOLAS CAGES VOODOO CHILD TEMPLESMITH COVER #2
NOVA #5
OMEGA FLIGHT #5 (OF 5) CWI
OUTSIDERS FIVE OF A KIND WEEK 2 KATANA SHAZAM
PHANTOM CVR A #18
POWERS #25
PUBLIC ENEMY #4
PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #10 CWI
RED SONJA #25
SADHU THE SILENT ONES #1
SPIDER-MAN FANTASTIC FOUR #4 (OF 4)
STAR WARS LEGACY #15
STAR WARS REBELLION #9
STORMWATCH PHD #10
ULTIMATE X-MEN #85
UNCLE SCROOGE #368
UN-MEN #1
WALT DISNEYS COMICS & STORIES #683
WORLD WAR HULK FRONT LINE #3 (OF 6)
X-FACTOR #22
ZOMBIE PROJECT #1

Books / Etc.
100 BULLETS VOL 11 ONCE UPON A CRIME TP
ALAN MOORE THE COMPLETE WILDCATS TP
BLACK METAL VOL 1 GN
CLIVE BARKERS GREAT & SECRET SHOW VOL 2 TP
COMPLETE JON SABLE FREELANCE VOL 7 TP
DOME HC
DUMMYS GUIDE TO DANGER VOL 1 TP
EC ARCHIVES TWO-FISTED TALES VOL 2 HC
ESSENTIAL DAZZLER VOL 1 TP
FEMME FATALES SEPT 2007 VOL 16 #4
FORGOTTEN REALMS VOL 5 STREAMS SILVER TP
GHOST RIDER VOL 2 LIFE & DEATH OF JOHNNY BLAZE TP
HEAVY METAL SEPTEMBER 2007 #112
LAST CALL VOL 1 GN
LEES TOY REVIEW AUG 2007 #178
LORI LOVECRAFT VOL 2 MY BLACK PAGES TP
MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 6 DIGEST TP
PIRATES VS NINJAS POCKET MANGA VOL 1
SHOWCASE PRESENTS ADAM STRANGE VOL 1 TP
STYLE SCHOOL VOL 1 TP
SUPERMAN CHRONICLES VOL 3 TP
TOYFARE 10TH ANNIVERSARY ED CVR #122
VAULT OF MICHAEL ALLRED LTD ED HC
VIDEO WATCHDOG #133
WOMEN OF MARVEL VOL 2 TP
ZOMBIE TALES VOL 1 TP

What, as they say, looks good to YOU?

-B

Abhay-- 8/7/7 MULTIPLE WARHEADS #1: Just a Quickie Review; 8/5/8/9/8/3

So-- I'm in a hurry this week-- please forgive me if this is dull as a result as I think it might be; Jog and Graeme both review this book already, but I want to attempt to talk about MULTIPLE WARHEADS #1 by Brandon Graham (via Oni Press)— it feels a bit early to talk about the series though. I’d read KING CITY, but I never read Brandon Graham’s ESCALATOR: I had bought ESCALATOR at a San Diego Con two or three years ago on a Sunday morning. I was feeling horrible that day—I’d had a bad lunch, or I’d eaten something the night before that had gone down profoundly wrong. So I’m miserable—absolutely fucking miserable, all day long. Evening comes, and I’m walking past a hotel, when it all reaches a climax: I put the books down and proceed to begin violently vomiting into the nearest bush. I finish, and… the book is gone. (Just ESCALATOR and some mini-comic, luckily).

If you’ve never been to a San Diego Con before, I always thought “they stole my comics as I was vomiting” was as perfect a one-sentence description of, like, the entire experience as you’ll ever hear. And that was back before it got really crazy.

Anyway, MULTIPLE WARHEADS… Let's get that stupid, boring "reviewing" business out of the way, first: I agree with Jog and Graeme that this is a totally fun comic. Now, armed with the knowledge of my opinion, venture out into the world of Men! Men in Italian Suits, who drink Cappuccino, and wear Cufflinks! You are ready!

It seems like comics have got this younger generation of cartoonists, blasting out these comics that aren't just heavily influenced by junk culture but unquestioningly embracing junk culture. It's some of my favorite stuff going right now, actually. One thing I’ve noticed: there’s a tendency towards these bizarre affirmations of comics. Not the content of comics, or the object-ness of comics, so much as just comics gratia comics: as a lifestyle choice or a destination in and of itself. "OH MY GOD, COMICS CURED MY ACNE!"

Examples: TEENAGERS FROM MARS featured a Comic Book Liberation Army. Fabio Moon, Gabriel Ba, Becky Cloonan, Vasilis Lolos and Rafael Grampa released a gnarly comic at the San Diego convention called 5, which featured, among other things, one story concluding with Cloonan happily chaining herself to a drawing table, and another with Lolos smiling and happily drawing comics while alone and in TRACTION(!). CASANOVA Volume I, Issue 7, Page 6, Panel 6: "I love comics!" Brandon Graham concludes the first volume of his terrific Tokyopop graphic novel KING CITY with a one page comic essay on Drawing Comics, featuring exhortations like "You could steal pens and paper and make the best comic ever sitting on a dumpster."

MULTIPLE WARHEADS has a good one: it goes from a sex scene to characters post-coital, in bed, vulnerably discussing the latest issue of BARBARIAN REVENGE.

(For fun with generational shifts, compare that for a second to the following passage from Ivan Brunetti's SCHIZO #4: "I have reached the October of my enthusiasm. I don't think drawing cartoons is a moral thing to do. I should be mopping the AIDS ward at the county hospital. I hate everything I've ever done. Every night when I go to bed, I pray for death." Or to page 25 of the ACME NOVELTY LIBRARY Library of Novelty collection entitled Ruin Your Life: Draw Cartoons and Doom Yourself to Decades of Grinding Isolation, Solipsism, and Utter Social Disregard. Or to any panel in Dan Clowes's PUSSEY, say.)

MULTIPLE WARHEADS mostly skates along on Graham's considerable cartoon energy, with a little maybe-from-real-life relationship energy sometimes peeking out from under the surface. Watching him spread some of that around isn’t a bad way to pass time. Graham’s worlds are built through an accretion of seemingly random details. I guess I'm used to that from Grant Morrison comics, where there can be crazy surface details, but it's just sugar-coating for whatever Morrison's really talking about. A lot of newer work uses a similar principle, but it's not coated to much by way of a philosophy or discernible themes yet so much as exploring purely personal concerns: heartbreak, friends, girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, etc. KING CITY is a wallop of fun and one of the books I've most enjoyed this year for it, but I couldn't tell you what I took away from it. Similarly, MULTIPLE WARHEADS is more pleasurable at seeing an obviously talented cartoonist let loose than for any theme or observation being conveyed, say. Maybe there’s something there about relationships but it hasn’t really crystallized yet.

Which is sort of a worrisome thing for the future: that the tangible results of all that enthusiasm from all these promising cartoonists sometimes do little more than reproduce the emotional state of eating pixie sticks. My favorite Cory Lewis comic to date is about kickball…? Joss Whedon just launched a webcomic (with totally pretty art from Fabio Moon & the so-so-so-great Dave Stewart) entitled SUGARSHOCK. It’s… it’s about a rock band of young girls…?

SUGARSHOCK …? Uhm, dude, I liked it and all, but: Joss Whedon is 43 years old.

Joss Whedon doesn’t lie awake worrying about whether a rock band of young girls will make it happen; he worries about his house payment. Or the rattling sound his Lexus is making. Or whether his daughters get into Vassar.

I enjoyed MULTIPLE WARHEADS #1, and I think you would too, but would it be unseemly to acknowledge that sometimes I look at it and its contemporaries, and experience a minor slice of existential terror? I don’t know about you, but on this end of the screen, shit, I’m not getting any younger over here. Getting older has positive qualities, more than I expected, but, Jumping Jesus Crap, I’m terrified of it anyway. I’m not sure what the theme of MULTIPLE WARHEADS is, but is there kind of an unspoken thing to all these books of … “Look! Look at our Youth before it fades!” I'm terrified of being old and hearing kids blather incoherently about video games and anime; or even worse, infinitely worse: being old and hearing kids blather incoherently about video games and anime and UNDERSTANDING WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT! You are the Ghost of Christmas Future, Joss Whedon!!!

But like I said in sentence #1—it’s too early to say. Maybe Corey Lewis will end up doing comics about spikey-haired 38-year olds who, ZOMG, get the most awesomous prostate exams of all time. Scott Pilgrim: Deadbeat Dad. The Pirates of Coney Island sick with worry about what will become of their children if they were to die unexpectedly. Guy with Inexplicable Werewolf Penis (?) from MULTIPLE WARHEADS #1 struggling to meet a decent woman on Match.Com. Maybe they’ll keep the energy and have their themes evolve, without succumbing to the despair of ... without becoming SCHIZO #4, basically. Maybe? Maybe that’s possible…?

In the meantime, you could do worse than to give MULTIPLE WARHEADS #1 a look.

When good tastes go bad: Graeme wants the wrong book, 8/1.

It's the end of the comics week, which can only mean one thing - Essential Dazzler comes out tomorrow. Is it wrong of me that I kind of want to pick that up? I mean, sure, there are good comics appearing as well - Casanova #8! - but... Essential Dazzler. How bad can it be?

FANTASTIC FOUR #548: I'm sure that I should feel as if the tension is building and the story is headed towards some grand climax at this point, two issues from the big anniversary issue, but... I don't. Which isn't to say that this fight issue is bad, exactly, just kind of Eh; yeah, the team is back together (which is to say, Reed and Sue have rejoined the action), and yeah, they're fighting the Frightful Four which is kind of retro-cool and all, but when the cliffhanger ending is that they have to fight Klaw, then you're somewhat lost in the Had-To-Have-Been-There-o-Verse.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #8: Color me entirely torn on this one - On the one hand, there's an attempt at a character arc being pushed into a done-in-one spotlight on Liberty Belle here, which is both ambitious and somewhat welcome (One of the problems with JSA is that there are too many characters for the book, if y'ask me, and it's nice to see some attempt at fleshing out some of the lesser-known ones), but on the other, it's all handled rather poorly, tying in to and relying a little too much on your knowledge of other books and other characters... A good effort, I guess, but just barely Okay, and that's mostly because of Fernando Pasarin's art.

NEW WARRIORS #3: Oh God, from the cliched - and hardly contemporary - "Usual Suspects"-ripoff cover down to the generic dialogue, lackluster plotting and entirely gratuitous guest-appearance by Wolverine, this is so close to the very definition of Awful that I'm saddened to say that I thought Paco Medina's art was kind of groovy, in a bloated-Terry-Dodson way. Still: Best avoided.

SHE-HULK #20: Well, if nothing else, it's novel to see writers - in this case Dan Slott and Ty Templeton - work so quickly to tie up every possible loose end they can in such a small amount of space. The result, mind you, is still an Awful mess of rushed and unfulfilling resolutions that end up making you wish that they'd tried to leave somethings open, but you can't have everything. That said: After the fourth-last page of the story, now do you believe me that this takes place post-World War Hulk, Charlie...?

SUPERGIRL #20: On the plus side, Renato Guedes really does draw a very good Supergirl. On the minus side, it's a shame that the art is wasted on such a flat, crossover-driven story as the one Tony Bedard supplies. Given that next issue guest-stars Karate Kid from Countdown, I have the feeling that all of Bedard's short run is going to be crossover-centric... Eh, overall, really.

THOR #2: There's something to be said about the deliberately slow pace of the revival of Stan Lee's favorite classical mythological figure. Exactly what that something is, I'm not so sure, but there's definitely something - we're two issues in, and what I'm getting is possibly that JMS doesn't really have much of a plot lined up but can definitely do "quirky" characters. As with the first issue, the best thing about the book is definitely Oliver Copiel's artwork, which is clean, clear and the star of this Okay show.

WORLD WAR HULK #3: The Hulk! He's broken Dr. Strange's hands in the psychic realm! Hulk is apparently the hardest thinker there is! Or something. Ignoring the weak "Strange Smash!" cliffhanger, this is continuing to be the event that doesn't disappoint - in the main book, at least - although I'm worried that the gladiator turn of events is going to change that for the last half of the series, as the attempt tat moral ambiguity ("He wants revenge on those who exiled him and accidentally caused the death of his family! He may be wrong - - Or he may be right! Which side are you on, true believer?") gets replaced by "He's turned Madison Square Garden into a superhero gladiator arena where he gets mind-controlled superheroes to fight for his pleasure! He's very clearly insane and must be stopped!" A low Good.

What did the rest of you think?

Superfast: Graeme digs the slowness of 8/1.

Gah! Busier than the average bear today, so excuse both the lateness and shortness of my love letter to Kurt Busiek and dislike of Dan Didio. Or something... But, somehow I missed part one of the story that continues in this week's ACTION COMICS #853 - Was it in the Superman issue I didn't read from the week before? Or is my Countdown-lethargy causing blindness to comics that cross over with it? - not that that stopped me from understanding what's going or enjoying the issue. As much as I want to snark that this is because Kurt Busiek knows how to write comics that don't rely on you reading seventeen other comics to understand them unlike the Countdown team, there's enough truth in that for me to take it more seriously than your average throwaway cheap shot. I mean, surely there's something wrong with Countdown if I have to find out that Jimmy Olsen's sudden knowledge of Robin's secret identity from that series is actually a plot point (as opposed to an unexplained arguable editorial oversight) in a crossover as opposed to the main book...?

Whereas COUNTDOWN #39 stumbles along in its own Eh way, with Jimmy's superhero career as comedy relief in the middle of what is essentially filler (Oracle's defenses can be beaten by punching them a lot, apparently...? She should work on that. Also, now that we're a quarter of a way into the series, shouldn't we have passed the teases for the series by now? Instead, we still don't know why "Jimmy Olsen Must Die" - indeed, no-one's even demanded that in the series at all yet - and Eclipso hasn't even appeared in the book, never mind seduced the innocent Mary Marvel as one particular teaser ad promised. I'm all for weekly pacing being different than monthly and all, but by this point in 52, there had been major movement on all the core plots as well as the introduction of many new characters - The Great Ten, Isis, Supernova and Batwoman by week Thirteen, I seem to remember. Not to get all, "Why, in my day, weekly comics had lesbians and plot development" or anything, but Countdown just seems slow by comparison, something that seems all the more obvious with issues like this), Busiek uses this Good tie-in issue to add some mystery and, well, action, to the basic concept. He also offers plain old good writing complete with not only characterization but also foreshadowing (Jimmy gets upstaged by a dog at the start of the issue, only to get saved by Krypto at the end of it, etc.), in-jokes (Clark's yawning as the television talks about an all-night mission by the JLA), and the invention of the evil internet. You know, fun dumb superhero stuff.

World-building from the Busiek school - in service of the story, as opposed to being the entire point of the story, which is what Countdown feels like too much of the time - is just one thing that Kurt has been a king of in his Superman writing in the last year and a half, and it'd be nice for him to be recognized for keeping the flagship character's books as strong as they have been (including essentially bailing out Geoff Johns more than a few times) by the powers that be. Given the fact that he can do solid superhero storytelling like few others can - with a sense of humor that doesn't overwhelm the story, with a sense of drama that doesn't tend towards needless grittiness or false danger, and with a sense of what other writers are doing in other books without appearing to be an advertisement for them - maybe he can be the showrunner for next year's weekly spectacular...?

Today We Sail to the Exotic Nation of Japan: Jog travels between 8/1 extremes.

Well, I said I'd have more than one review this time. Didn't say it'd all be comics. It's sort of all comics-related, right? Also, I bought the new issue of Otaku USA (my anime review came from its free sampler dvd) at a bookstore this week, so it counts as 8/1 on Planet Jog, although I think it got put out a week early. Anyhow.

Mushishi Vol. 2: Not a quick release here. Mushishi is a popular manga in Japan, a fan-favorite that’s spawned a beloved anime series (and a less-beloved live-action film), but Del Rey has seen fit to bump its English-language release back to a twice-yearly schedule, which probably isn’t a good sign financially.

Too bad, because Mushishi is an often superb comic, each volume stuffed with five standalone tales of Ginko, a Mushishi, a wandering, cigarette-puffing magician/doctor/shaman, seemingly stepped out of a forgotten Hayao Miyazaki guest issue of Hellblazer. Ginko can manipulate Mushi, tiny organisms that embody primal attributes of the natural world and tend to affect human moods and perceptions.

Of course, Mushi really serve as a means for writer/artist Yuki Urushibara to craft exquisite little stories of, say, Mushi as an extended metaphor for human wanderlust - Ginko encounters a man chasing Mushi rainbows, and torn between following his irresponsible father, or following dad’s wishes to be a grounded person. Symbolic images of flowing rivers and dams abound. Ginko also gets caught up in the case of a fellow Mushishi, a man like a god who’s weakened by human foibles, plus a mysterious girl who lives and dies every day, and a family desperate to love the doppelganger Mushi children that killed their real son.

The very best story sees a young woman driving out the deadly Mushi inside her by transcribing tales of the Mushishi, literally transforming her sickness into living words, plucked off her skin and out of the air. But all the tales are of heroes vanquishing evil, until Ginko promotes a harmonious style, which benefits girl and ‘sickness,’ and provides a hugely inspired parable of counternarratives sapping human fear of the Other. EXCELLENT work, popular manga loaded with mythic and literary heft, and I absolutely recommend it.

Witchblade (the anime) Episode 3: Horrible. Anime studio GONZO put out 24 episodes of this in 2006, and pretty soon it’ll be slithering onto R1 dvd. Maybe the new Otaku USA dvd just had an especially bad episode, but it was such a dreadful, pandering mess that I doubt any amount of backstory could redeem it.

The story is original to the anime (which isn’t to say it’s original). Endearingly clumsy anime character type Masane and her comically large boobsock-hugged breasts are just trying to get by in post-cataclysm Tokyo, while raising a helpless, mysterious little girl of the type that must appear in 65% of all yearly anime or someone gets fined.

But Masane is also the current bearer of the Witchblade, which turns her into a lip-smacking wanton for violence (sex), her thong vanished so deeply between her cheeks the animators are content simply to draw a bare ass. Confronted with a menacing tank, she murmurs “come… you big thing… I feel you…” before slicing off the machine's phallic gun in a splash of goopy white stuff, which I'm sure is completely different from semen. Female empowerment, but still pleasureful for men! There are two such skeevy fight scenes this episode, executed in a swift, cost-effective manner. The rest of it is minute after grueling minute of the most banal Bubblegum Crisis knockoff corporate intrigue imaginable, capped with some unbelievably pandering I-LOVE-my-child!! sentimentality. It's a celebration of maternity! Hooray!

I’m forced to wonder if, for some Japanese audiences, this sort of thing really is an encapsulation of what contemporary American superheroine comics are. Like, this is the image we project, and what another culture deems ‘correct’ to beam back. But then, I’m probably thinking too hard about a stupid cartoon designed for sad men to watch with their pants off. CRAP.

Range Mash: Douglas vs. the Marvels of 8/1

How do you solve a problem like Dr. Strange? There's something about him that doesn't quite seem to work these days--he can't sustain a series of his own, his supporting cast is the same tiny group of characters it was 30 years ago, and even though everyone seems to like him enough that he's always positioned as one of Marvel's big guns, he keeps generating narrative dead-ends or appearing in big stories only to be written out of them in short order.

The difficulty with making a Dr. Strange comic work is twofold. One of them is that his stories need to look absolutely gorgeous and sort of surreal or there's no point, and nobody's really stepped up to give him the kind of visual splendor he got in his prime from Steve Ditko and later Marshall Rogers and P. Craig Russell and sometimes Gene Colan. (I can imagine J.H. Williams III doing a perfectly terrific Dr. Strange, but who knows if he's got any interest in the character? From my conversation with him at Comic-Con, it sounds like he's already got a very full plate for the near future. And somehow I can't imagine Paul Laffoley would be all that interested in doing comics.)

The other is that nobody's ever been able to define or even suggest what he can and can't do--which works fine when you're doing a story that's entirely within the realms of the mystical (or "imaginary solutions to imaginary problems"), but falls apart when you're working in a setting where physics applies. Dr. Strange's powers are, literally, hand-waving. I don't even know if he belongs among the Illuminati, frankly. He worked in the context of the Defenders because the point of that series was that the group's characters had nothing in common--he and the Hulk don't operate within the same frame of reference. (It's the same principle, in a way, as the Grant Morrison Seven Soldiers, where e.g. Klarion and the Manhattan Guardian may cross paths but understand what they're experiencing in completely different ways.)

This brings us to New Avengers: Illuminati #4, which exemplifies the Strange problem, because he has to be present in it even though he has nothing to add to it--and even though, if Bendis and Reed wanted to make him solve the problem by waving his hands, they could easily have done so. The opening scene, with the cabal chit-chatting about their love lives, is a really good example of bad Bendis--maybe the dialogue's actually Reed in a Bendis-imitating mode, but it certainly seems Bendisesque. It's not just that they're talking about things they wouldn't talk about, it's that their dialogue is intermittently way off from their established speech patterns. (Charles Xavier would never, ever say "Plus--if, listen, if I did do this...") And four of the five characters on the cover don't even appear in the issue, which wouldn't bug me if they had a symbolic presence in the body of the issue, but the Marvel Boy stuff that makes up the bulk of the plot has nothing at all to do with the women-problems business from the first few pages.

The plot, yes--I like Graeme's phrase "unnecessary continuity implant." Two huge flaws with the story here. First, it requires a working knowledge of the Morrison/Jones Marvel Boy miniseries and the entire Kree/Skrull narrative to make sense. (I've read Marvel Boy, although not lately, and I can't even remember what happened in it or how this would fit in.) Second, if you're going to do a continuity implant, it has to change the meaning of what was happening in the original story; this doesn't, and I don't see how it can be meaningful to future stories, either, unless Noh-Varr ends up becoming the next Captain Marvel, which would mean 86ing the entire point of his character. An Awful issue.

I was afraid World War Hulk had gone way off course with last week's also-unnecessary issue of Incredible Hulk--in case you missed it, the point was that Rick Jones and... was it Miek? The insect-thing... are, you know, Two Sides of the Same Coin. (Plus have we found out yet what happened with Amadeus Cho and his Legion of Hulk-Helpers? I'm pretty sure we haven't, and that's the part of this story I want to read most. I keep thinking that Cho is basically Peter Parker in the part of the story between where he gets his powers and where Uncle Ben dies: a very powerful, very arrogant kid who thinks he knows how everything works and is heading for a major fall.) With World War Hulk #3, though, I'm back on board, particularly since he's figured out how to make Strange work in as physical a context as there could possibly be.

This is a massive, gleeful crank-it-to-11 action comic, and it works because Pak and Romita don't try to get around the potentially corny bits--they just charge full-speed-ahead into them: "No, Doctor, you can't." "I can. And must. Now bring me the box." Pak's got a bad habit of repeating sequences and catchphrases--how many times do we need to be told how the ship blew up and Caiera died? or read someone saying "may he who dies die well"? But he's very much in control of his characters thematically. The way he gets around the Strange-in-the-physical-world problem is to make Strange's part of the story about his most physical attribute as a character: his hands, which are the instruments of his failed caretaking in his origin. (Strange reaches out his hands to Bruce in friendship, and has them crushed by the Hulk; at the end of the story, they're replaced by immobile weapons.) Lots of great visual touches from Romita, too: the '70s Sal Buscema-isms of General Ross's flashback, the reversed-out linework when Strange drinks the Zom potion, the crinkly, extra-Janson-y artwork on the flashback inside Bruce's mental landscape. A Good issue, elevated by what's hands-down the best final page of the week.

In the non-Strange division, over in the corner, there's poor cancelled Irredeemable Ant-Man #11--when a "fan-favorite" creator like Robert Kirkman can't sell a Marvel Universe series for beans, there's a problem. (The first comics store I went to this week didn't even carry it. The second had two copies of this issue peeking out from behind an Essential Amazing Spider-Man TPB.) Next issue is the final one, but this one seems to have been plotted as the wrap-up, oddly enough--most of the dangling plot threads are brusquely dispatched here (I think the only ones left have to do with Eric's love life), it's called "Redeemed" for that soothing full-circle sensation, and it ends with the status quo of the beginning of the series mostly restored.

I've really enjoyed the formalist tricks of this series, especially the sixteen-panel grid Phil Hester's given it--there aren't sixteen panels on many pages, but the panel borders are always more or less where they would be if there were. Honesly, though, I don't know how much longer Kirkman, Hester and Parks could've sustained it: the series is built around one joke, which is that Eric O'Grady is a weaselly jerk who keeps doing the right thing more or less by accident. His victory here consists of lying through his teeth to save his own skin, then selling out the person who's come to rescue him--all of which is funny in theory, and only sort of works on the page. It's an Okay issue of a series that's generally been more impressive in its ambition than its execution.

Gutwrenching meh-taaaaaaahhhhl (2) and other stories: Graeme looks through his SDCC haul, still.

Part two of the things I picked up at SDCC last weekend, because it's either this or continuing to be completely fascinated by "Survivorman" on the Science Channel (Why would anyone do what he does on a regular basis? WHY?)...

BEESWAX BOUND: Much to my embarrassment, I didn't realize that the person I was talking to at the AdHouse table was Joel Priddy until after I'd left, and looked at the minicomic he'd given to me - Sorry, Joel. Although even if I'd realized who you were, I would've been too shy to say that I really like your stuff, including this collection of sketches and expanded blog posts (Read Joel's own take on the mini here). There's enough material and promise here for three or four full-length books ("Fracas" alone could fill a couple), and the way it sparks the imagination of the reader more than makes up for any slightness you might feel about the minicomic format. Very Good.BB

BLACK METAL: This kind of feels like the first post-Scott Pilgrim book in a lot of ways - definitely the first thing I've read that seems to learn from what Bryan Lee O'Malley does well without reading like an obvious attempt to copy it. It's a very enjoyable book, gloriously dumb and reveling in it, and the speed with which it moves somehow shunts it past the the self-consciousness I normally find in Rick Spears' books (and also makes me want to revisit his Pirates of Coney Island, for some reason). Chuck BB's artwork is attractive enough and ready-made for Cartoon Networkization, which seems fitting; this is pretty much an Adult Swim show that accidentally came out as a Good book.

MULTIPLE WARHEADS #1: Jog talked about this last week, and he's spot-on with how good it is - Pretty much a continuation (in terms of stylization, not plot) of his King City book, this confirms Brandon Graham as one of the most interesting creators out there right now for me - he manages to mix the sublime and mundane in a way that feels both new and familiar, even as it's in a very specific world. Very Good and enough to make me want Graham to magically put out new work every week.

THB: COMICS FROM MARS #1: Going along with my born-again love of Pope post from yesterday, this sealed the deal. What was a pleasant surprise here was the gentleness of the writing - I could tell from Pulphope that Pope is someone who believes in people, but the sweetness of the final story here was a really welcome surprise. Excellent, and on a tangent, anyone from DC who read this and didn't think that Pope should just be given Kirby's Fourth World characters and be allowed to do whatever he wants if he ever wants to do anything with them is insane.

(This isn't the place for it, but with news of Marvel turning Kirby's Eternals into an ongoing title coming in quick succession to DC's announcing that Jim Starlin is killing off the New Gods, however temporarily that lasts, just made me think that what's wrong with the Countdown-centric direction of DC's superhero line right now is that it's so reductive and willing to eliminate what doesn't easily slot into Dan Didio's idea of what makes good comics. Grr, bah, etc.)

12 REASONS WHY I LOVE HER: Yeah, I know, this came out ages ago - It's one of those books that I meant to pick up when it came out and somehow forgot. What tempted me in the first place, and turned out to be the best thing about the book, was Joelle Jones' artwork, which is graceful and cartoony in the best ways, letting the characters act in ways that support (and, in some cases, gloss over rough patches of) Jamie Rich's dialogue. The (admittedly slight) writing feels like a Choose Your Own Adventure due to the out-of-chronological way the story is told (I choose to believe that things end as well as they could), but that adds to the book, I think; you can take it as a romance or anti-romance as the mood takes you. Good enough to make me want to check out Rich's other books, finally.

Tomorrow, back to the books from last Wednesday, if only because I want to point out why Kurt Busiek is still winning after all these years.

Corny, I know, but you'd better believe it: Graeme starts his SDCC haul.

So here's the pull-quote part of this whole review: In a year that's really been full of some pretty amazing books so far, Paul Pope's PULPHOPE is not only the most impressive release to date, but a book that everyone who has an interest in creativity owes it to themselves to read. And here's the most amazing part about that statement: I mean it completely.

(For a second's digression, this year really has been pretty damn good for graphic novels, hasn't it? This past month alone, I've read three that I really have to get around to writing about purely because I loved them so much: Robot Dreams and Laika, both from First Second, and Clubbing from the pretty-impressive-even-if-no-one-else-seems-to-be-saying-so Minx imprint over at DC. Add to that things like The Homeless Channel or Garage Band, and it really seems like a pretty good year, all things considered.)

I picked up Pulphope partially because I was at SDCC and felt as if I could get away with spending $29.95 on something I was only randomly curious about ahead of time - I'm cheap, what do you want? I wasn't the biggest Pope fan ahead of time, I have to admit; I'd thought that he was an interesting visual stylist, but didn't really have much of an opinion beyond that. What I got for my money was a book that owes a lot in terms of design to people like Tomato and Julian House (As a particular and somewhat random example, anyone remember House's designs for the Primal Scream single "Miss Lucifer"? It's like that, kind of), filled with not only some beautiful - and warning, kids, some potentially pornographic depending on where you draw your particular lines - images that come so close to visual overload but never go overwhelm. It's stunning to look at, from its abstract (logoless, wonderfully) cover - reminiscent of Pollock but cleaner, a shiny pop version - onwards, but that's not where its real value for me was.

Y'see, this book has essays by Pope. They're similar in style if not content to his posts on his blog, which are insightful and distractedly conversational, but his writing here is more focused in intent - each essay deals with Pope's creativity, whether it's particular influences, his past, where he sees his work and himself in context with contemporaries and history - and kind of inspirational, to be honest; you can't help but feel the passion Pope feels not only for his own work but for the creative impulse in general. It's wonderful writing, even if you have absolutely no interested in Pope's art and design (which, by the way, would mean that you have no taste after the 228 pages of awesome herein), and essential, compulsory, reading for creative people of all stripes. You might not agree with what he writes, you may not even like what he writes, but you'll end up inspired by it nonetheless.

Pulphope is a book that engages you emotionally and intellectually; it's something that doesn't fail to impress on a visual and visceral level, and - if you're anything like me - will get things bouncing around in your head for days afterwards. I've been talking about it to people for days after reading it, and continually going back into it and discovering new things to think about and admire. Really, it's that good. It's downright Excellent.

A Quick One Before I Leave: Jog's first dance with 8/1

I'll have more than one review next time, but until then...

Garth Ennis' Chronicles of Wormwood #6 (of 6): In which the writer whose name is in the title concludes this tour of a spiritual cosmology in an appropriate place: the End of Days. Ennis has been pretty consistent with using the anything-goes attitude Avatar exhibits around their ‘name’ writers to write some genuinely idiosyncratic comics, stuff that might not fly at more guarded publishers for reasons beyond more-gore/more-sex/more-nasty. And this series has read like a particularly personal little thing, the religious manifesto of a man approaching 40, and becoming all the more convinced that there’s nothing willing to help people besides themselves.

The notion’s carried fairly smoothly through the series, from the idea of heavenly religious characters tossing away glory and wandering on Earth, to protagonist Wormwood’s inability to keep a relationship going, despite being the Antichrist and miraculous and all. I’ll confess to getting bored with the midsection’s tour of Heaven and Hell, your typical afterlife portrait of a cosmos inclined toward maximum irony (the terrorist was expecting 40 virgins, but got 40 little babies with dirty diapers - good one, Paradise!), although it does give artist Jacen Burrows some enjoyably ugly scenes to draw. But ironically, Burrows’ visual style has developed to the point where the particulars of his character art are more affecting than his ‘big’ pages, and so the book does best when kept intimate.

Anyway, this issue’s the Apocalypse, and it’s little surprise that Ennis sees such a planet-quaking threat as little more than state-of-fear hi-jinx wielded by the powerful to keep the people scared and easier to rule. Certainly Wormwood’s ultimate decision seems inevitable, given the book’s theme (helpfully spelled out via narration at the end). But this has been more a sorting-my-head-out comic from a prominent talent than anything else, and a highly OKAY one, with a GOOD conclusion.

Father, it's not time to make a change: Graeme looks at super-sons from 8/1.

Time for a very quick review at the end of a very long day, which also comes at the end of a very long week...

OUTSIDERS: FIVE OF A KIND - NIGHTWING/BOOMERANG #1: Or, as the cover has it, "Nightwing and Captain Boomerang Jr." When you put it like that, don't you feel sorry for poor Boomerang? I mean, it's not like "Captain Boomerang" isn't a pretty embarrassing name to begin with, but adding "Jr." to it? Seriously, DC Logo Designer, that's just cold. Even "Kid Boomerang" would've sounded better. "Boomerang Boy." "Boomerang Lad." "Private Boomerang." Any of those are better than Captain Boomerang Jr., people.

You'll be happy to know that the comic itself doesn't live up to the promise of that title; you don't have the two characters hanging out in a bar, drinking and dealing with their father issues or anything like that (To be fair, it comes close. Poor Boomerang, Jr. keeps wondering if Batman hates him for that whole "My dad killed your sidekick's dad" thing, and yet somehow even that isn't interesting. You know, the more I think about it, the more Captain Boomerang Jr. sucks); instead, we have a generic team-up adventure set-up by Batman in the most contrived fashion ever: "I want to build a team, but in order to decide who I love most, you will compete for my affections!" It all goes down pretty much as you'd expect, and with the lack of surprise comes a lack of interest and attachment. In fact, the most interesting thing about the comic comes in the two-page back-up where Tony Bedard, writer of the upcoming Batman and The Outsiders book but not writer of the main story of this issue, more or less throws away everything that comes before in order to have the line-up he wants after all. It's a fun and unsettling moment when you really get the feeling that you've wasted part of your life reading everything that came before. I believe the official way we put it here is Crap, indeed.

Tomorrow: Something I liked a lot.

"Black Bolt is laughing at you in his mind": Graeme gets illuminated, 8/1.

The opening of NEW AVENGERS: ILLUMINATI #4 is out-of-character, cheap schtick that plays to fanboys even as it parodies their favorite characters with mundane dialogue full of fantastic concepts, as each member of the Illuminati talk about their shitty love lives ("You can leave your body and go to the astral plane... Why are you online?" "I can't get hockey scores in the astral plane"). It's also completely awesome, and easily the best part of what is otherwise a dull, plotless pile of Eh.

Illuminati is turning into a weird series. There's something purposefully disjointed about it, with all of the jumping back and forth in timeframes, but outside of that, there's still no sense of anything within the series having any real weight or continuity; each issue seems to have nothing to do with the ones on either side of it, and as a result, the whole thing kind of feels like a super-hero sit-com without the com - each episode is interchangable and easy to rerun in whatever order you want.

It doesn't help that the body of each issue tends towards the unnecessary continuity implant - Who really wanted to see heroes attack the Skrulls after the Kree-Skrull War, or a pre-Secret Wars II appearance by the Beyonder? Or this issue, with Grant Morrison's Marvel Boy getting beaten up in the name of turning him into a good guy? Yes, Bendis may be stealthily introducing the next Marvel Event and everything that comes into it (Anyone else expect Marvel Boy to become a new Captain Marvel when Mar-Vell goes home, after the end of this issue?), but that's not enough to make each individual issue exciting or even worthwhile in and of itself.

That said, go and read the first four pages of the comic and wish that the rest of it had been like that.

Gutwrenching meh-taaaaaaahhhhl (1): Graeme starts off 8/1 with some metal, man.

Already destined (well, probably) to be a low-seller thanks to its subject matter and lack of big name creative talent, it's nonetheless true that Duncan Rouleau's METAL MEN #1 is possibly the most enjoyable thing that DC has put out this week.

Part of the thrill of the book is that it's clearly part of someone's own creative vision; I mean, yes, not only is it not tied (it seems, at this point, at least) to Countdown or Amazons Attack! or the Sinestro Corps War or any other storyline coming out of any other book - Even the "From the pages of 52" on the cover is somewhat misleading, as this doesn't pick up any storylines from that series other than showing that Doc Magnus and TO Morrow knew each other way back when - but there's something about both the writing and art that is wonderfully out of step with contemporary mainstream trends. Rouleau's art, which has always trended towards the busy and cartoony (I almost want to say "manga-influenced," but I'm probably wrong in that) has now morphed into something not unlike Chris Bachalo's current look but with clearer layout and panel design; his trend towards characture not only making sense here, but also making his designs for the title characters more attractive than they've looked in years.

What was most surprising, though, was the writing. I haven't read Rouleau's first attempt at writing (Active Images did a graphic novel of his last year that I think was called "The Nightmarist," but I can't be sure), so I wasn't prepared for how quickly and effortlessly this issue sped past: Bouncing between chapters with puns for titles ("To Serve With Love"?), setting things up for the future while laying down the past, all with dialogue that gives insight shortcuts into the characters and the context... It read Morrison-esque even before his "Based on ideas by" credit at the back of the book, and I mean that in the best way.

It's an attractive and amusing book, respectful without being a slavish recreation of the original incarnation, and definitely Very Good. Which probably means that the backlash will start in about three seconds...

My Life is Choked with Comics #3 - Marshal Law: Fear and Loathing

Hello everyone, I'm really excited to be standing here in your computer screen today.

You see, yesterday was my birthday and a lot of exciting things happened. My mother phoned to remind me that I have the same birthday as Harry Potter, as she's done each year since the Harry Potter series began. I got scratch-off lottery tickets in a birthday card and I won fifty dollars, all of which were immediately earmarked for future spending. I spoke to people, and drank liquids, and reflected on the inevitable fading of youthful vigor from my body, one more step taken toward that crucial perched-on-the-dive moment where the implications of life's end must be confronted as intimate certainty.

Ingmar Bergman recently died, you know. He once called Andrei Tarkovsky the most important film director of our time. Tarkovsky once wrote that "The aim of art is to prepare a person for death, to plough and harrow his soul, rendering it capable of turning to good." I thought of this while writing a preview synopsis for World War Hulk #3 for my site, and then I smiled as I thought of knee-slapping lawyer humor to include. Alternative dispute resolution jokes? This’ll slay ‘em! Hulk, you are the reaper's kiss.

So, being older, I think it's only proper that this column take a more sophisticated approach for this week. A topic that will reflect the wisdom that I've attained over my long journey toward this post-birthday internet posting moment. A theme that absolutely screams maturity, always and forever:

Hating superheroes! From within!

Yes, the world of superhero comics has been known to produce the occasional work that takes a dim view of the rest of the genre. Why, I've heard that some such series may be seeing release at this very time! A fine tradition, replete with cutting-edge notions and razor wit. Have you heard that people dressing up in outlandish tights and running around across rooftops at night might perhaps harbor some... deviant sexual tastes? Or that some characters that claim to stand for fine ideals... actually might not? Or, you know, that Batman has sex with Robin... on top of the blueprints for Stephanie Brown's Batcave memorial that shall never be built?!?! Maybe that last one hasn't quite manifested in that form yet, but give my pitch time.

Still, there's no denying that some readers are inclined to detect superhero-hating vibrations coming off of a wider range of comics than is entirely reasonable. Like a high school student cringing at every passing laugh in the classroom, certain that chuckles are at their expense, these readers bubble with a mix of insecurity and self-absorption, certain that their taste in genre material is widely loathed, yet convinced that it is somehow always the topic of attention. What needs to be done, I think, is a quick overview of what a real, true-blue, at-heart superhero-hating superhero funnybook quacks like.

Hence, Marshal Law, brainchild of writer Pat Mills and artist Kevin O'Neill.

I love Marshal Law. Or, at least I love the first Marshal Law storyline, originally published by Marvel's Epic Comics in six issues, from 1987-89, and collected by Titan Books into a trade paperback subtitled Fear and Loathing in 2002. It's also been announced that Top Shelf plans to compile as much Marshal Law material as it can into a single full-color omnibus volume, for sale in about a year. It'll be a good pickup for interested folks, I'm sure, but in my opinion it's only that first Titan trade that you need (and it's what I'm commenting from). That was where Mills was at full power, and where the concept was fresh enough to be thoughtful, and free of the pressures of continuation. The first Marshal Law could have acted as the last, as it is a very complete work in theme.

And that theme is somewhat more complex than you'd think from reading a synopsis, or looking to the stuff the book inspired. Hell, I don't think the early Marshal Law quite gets enough credit as a shaded work. It's not just about hating superheroes - it's about what hating superheroes has to mean while creating works that employ superhero tropes in their telling. In the process, the book not only acts as prosecuting attorney, but places itself under cross-examination.

But first: the hate.

A lot of the classic 'superheroes are dumb' ideas are in here. You will indeed find gross sexual practices, as well as good-looking supermen who are really mean and ugly. But at its core, this story is less interested in the super than the hero. Our super-powered title character, you see, hunts heroes. He hasn't found any yet, but he hunts nonetheless. In the meantime, he tangles with superheroes, who run rampant through the post-quake urban sprawl of San Futuro as killer gangs. Marshal Law is a government-sanctioned, official vigilante. Clad in leather, arms wrapped with barbed wire, the words FEAR AND LOATHING printed boldly across his chest where a nice S or a bat logo ought to be, he cuts a striking figure. He hates superheroes very, very much, although he knows that he and they are very much alike. Hell, he even has a boy sidekick of sorts, a crippled young man who's good with computers and has a mother who hates superheroes as much as the Marshal.

Plus, both Law and lawbreakers got their powers the same way - signing up as young people for an ill-fated war in the jungle, one where all the soldiers were made mighty, in the tradition of the oldest, greatest superheroes, also the products of government experiments. Like the Public Spirit, who was muscular, platinum-haired, deeply religious, proudly patriotic, media-manufactured, and conveniently away on a space mission while boys went away to die for the apple pie ideals he represented, and the survivors returned to a nation with nothing much for them to do. Law, at least, built up his hate, and you can guess that he hates the Public Spirit most of all.

As such, Mills (he of the famed Charley's War) positions superheroes as soldiers - former soldiers, acclaimed soldiers, part-time soldiers, but always men and women of war. This is the key genre concept of Marshal Law, and one it shares in certain ways with major superhero works that preceded it. In his introduction to the Titan volume, Mills praises Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen as masterpieces, and both of those earlier works contain themes of superheroes as government tools, and notions of the superhero as soldier.

Batman used it for rhetorical flourish, and a means of imposing his individual worldview on his surroundings. Watchmen, characteristically, employed the notion as yet another means of throwing the fantastic nature of its cast into sharp relief against the machinations of realism. But in Marshal Law, ‘soldier’ is neither another costume for a superhero to wear, nor another cruel, vaudevillian role for mighty talents to fill. For Mills, the soldier is the superhero, in that the ‘superhero’ is an ideal made flesh that’s sold to transform young people, to get them into foreign lands. They are both the bright fighters on the page, as well as the eager readers of their own prescribed myth. Hey, why not? Nothing could go wrong with this science, this spirit! This country! Hard work and guts!

It is so simple it hurts. They are superheroes because they are the beneficiaries of a superpower, in both the fantastic and geopolitical sense.

So, Marshal Law hunts down his own fellow veterans, unhappy with the false things their 'heroism' stands for, the violence and useless wars and popping Hitler in the kisser and all that. His eye is really on the Public Spirit, and he gets his big shot when a mystery superperson known as the Sleepman starts going around raping and killing women who dress like the Public Spirit's current lover, Celeste, a deep-cover mind-control super-siren. Marshal Law thinks the Public Spirit murdered an old lover, Virago, who was also a siren. Now he thinks he's murdering again.

Easy, right? Rebel avenger faces down false god, saves the day, slaps around America's lies, laughs at dumb capes, etc. Right?

It could have been that simple, but Mills is far too keenly aware of the ironies behind a superhero hating other superheroes, icons of hitting tackling icons of hitting through socks to the kisser. I'm going to get into spoiler territory now, but the story's 20 years old so I think the statute of limitations has run.

More than anything else, the story of Marshal Law is a collection of narrations, and not just by the 'good' characters. Most sequences are dotted with caption-based thoughts by someone, and in this way we learn that, say, the Sleepman also hates superheroes just as much as Marshal Law. Actually, he's kind of fond of the leather-clad nut. We hear of Celeste's mercenary view of the superhero life. Crucially, we get the perspective of Law's boss, a cynical man who sees both Law and the Public Spirit as the same, both providing succor to the masses. One a catchy batch of popular down-home appeal, the other a pleasingly grim 'n gritty avenger who cleans things up good. Hell, one could probably replace the other, if the fashions change. Both are good cogs in the wheel of policy. Mills clearly knows this.

As the story goes on, it becomes uncomfortable in its own skin. Law's hatred of the Public Spirit causes him to nearly miss the truth behind the mystery: that the Sleepman is actually his own boy assistant, who is also the Public Spirit's secret son, and his superhero-hating mother is actually the thought-dead ex-lover of the Public Spirit, the mind-control siren Virago. Both hate superheroes for different reasons - the Sleepman due to the self-loathing of a stunted adolscent, Virago because of personal betrayal. It's not hard to read these characterizations today as critiques of different modes of genre hate, that powered by personal discomfort and that powered by personal disappointment, respectively. There's sympathy for both, yet both are ultimately ruled ineffective before the Marshal's deeper, comprehensive hate.

But even he's not let off. The story's sixth and final chapter all but collapses into a fit of anxiety, as the Marshal and the Public Spirit fight to the finish, and the Marshal's dead girlfriend (oh, she got raped and killed by the Sleepman, by the way) critiques the concept of the superhero, and the makeup of both characters, from a feminist perspective. The Sleepman declares Marshal Law to be his mother. The title character is revealed to have maybe created half of his problems by playing the opposite of his fallen idol, standing as the architect of a false revolution, the newest form of exactly the fake ideals he hates. He's Watchmen as the superhero genre, rather than Watchmen as the end of the superhero genre. He fails to bring the Public Spirit to justice his way, he fails to kill the Sleepman, and he's left weeping in a graveyard at the end. This is good, however, as his tears show that maybe he's on his way to finding a more effective means of revolt.

The message is plain: heroism will not be found in superheroes, but it also can't be manufactured by playing into the same games in a 'cooler' way. Mills suggests that one has to reject the masculine, violent accoutrements of the genre as a whole to avoid merely reinforcing it. The heroism that Marshal Law craves probably can't be found through any idealistic clashes, and that's what really sets the story apart from similar critiques - there's no yearning for a lost innocence, or a desire to purify the superhero genre. The book spends half its length smashing what is, then spends the next half exploring the futility of reform. That's what I mean by comprehensive hate. We can't expect better. We have to leave it all beyond recognition. Maybe we just have to leave it.

It didn't happen that way for Marshal Law. The book was popular, and new stories were made. Marshal Law kept on fighting, more-or-less acting as the new badass-type status quo superhero that his first storyline warned that he might become. Parodies of famed Marvel and DC characters were wheeled out for beatings, noisy slapstick became the norm, team-ups with established characters were had, and the series settled in to being another superhero book, 'hate' flavored.

Kevin O'Neill's art always looked good, at least. I've hardly mentioned him at all, huh? Rest assured that he's very good on all of these stories, but especially in those moments in the first storyline where he gets to play up the iconographic elements of comics art, a hugging mother's arms forming a heart, or a young boy's head being plastered on a burly superhuman body. Like that first story as a whole, its strength is not in subtlety, or subtext, or gentle caresses against your cheek. I like when a comic caresses me, sure, but don’t go expecting it here. It's roughness leads it into added trouble - the story's treatment of its female characters perches unsteadily between criticism of the genre's sexualized treatment of women and exploitive shock tactics like the hero's chick getting raped and killed to drive him onward with burning spirit. Always conflicted.

I guess I should also say I don't really agree with Mills' conclusions about the genre, not totally. But I respect the story as a funny, intensive work, a smartly-made thing that articulates its points well and is willing to follow them all the way. Far enough that the concluding impression one has of the story is that of a genuine existential howl. A perfect birthday gift.

Abhay Will Never Write a Decent Title for this Blog, Ever; Come On!

So then, one last time: we have three comic books under review, that I wanted to try to look at long enough, close enough, tuff-e-nuff. Three comic books. What do they mean? Why do you want to hear stories about any of this stuff? What does which one we like say about what they mean to us, or what our time means to us, or what Chinese words mean, or what we mean to each other?

Why are they useful? Like: what is the fundamental utility of this crap from a hunter-gatherer perspective? No matter how much society tries to counter-program our survival impulse, we're biologically programmed to strive to compete and succeed. So, from an evolutionary perspective: how do they help you survive better than competitive organisms? Or if they don’t, do we lack fitness because we're spending Competing Time so frivolously? You can say "I just want something that entertains me" but does being entertained in this particular way make you smarter, faster, cooler, more popular, more successful? Bottom-line: if you had to kill a deer, right now, with your hands-- could you snap a deer's neck with your bare hands? Or if you were walking down the street, and a fucking elk came charging at you, could you drop that elk with a kung-fu chop to the elk's forehead, and then pass your genetic information into the elk's womb, and give birth to a new species of man-elk hybrid? Do you think the Melk would be able to conquer all before them in an orgy of blood and horns? I'm all out of bubblegum.

"I just want something that entertains me"-- sure, but lots of things would entertain you. You could watch that AMC show Mad Men. You could watch pornography. You could make a Works bomb using household chemicals and scare your neighbors. You could take phencyclidine aka PCP, Angel Dust, Supergrass, Gorilla Pills, Killer Weed, DOA, Embalming Fluid, Purple Rain, and break into your neighbor's house and tie them to their beds before they can do anything and scream the plot of NEW AVENGERS issue #32 into their faces while they struggle to get free. You and I, Internet, and the fun we'll have, high on Rocket Fuel, scaring neighbors, doing home invasions, eating out of garbage cans, reading NEW AVENGERS to each other on freight trains, violently sexing one another outside of an abandoned Toy Factory in Gary, Indiana, while genital-less action figures watch from the windows and judge us, while the rain falls down and washes away all of our transgressions, just like out of a Billy Joel song, a gutteral ancient Billy Joel song sung only in Hell.

Three comics; three approaches:

(1) SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPERHEROES#31: I ran out of anything to say four weeks ago, and I only read this comic three weeks ago. The visual presentation is cleanly presented, though characters often pose in obscure, weightless ways (the Legion of Superheroes is fond of jazz-hands). It's not heavy on detail and I can't say it conveys much power or energy-- there's little flourish; it's very straightforward. But DC was never comfortable with Kirby, if you know what I mean.

There's nothing that keeps DC from imitating NEW AVENGERS's success characterwise-- there's nothing that keeps the LSH from being a team of future versions of DC's most popular characters. Future Batman, Future Superman, Future Flash, etc. Nothing but a Persian army of angry fans sure to set fire to comic stores everywhere, but it's interesting how with all these garish events by DC-- all the rapings and killings and munging-- how you pick up a DC book at random: it could be 1962, 1978, 1983, 1991. Nothing indicates you're in our time but computer colors, different paper, ads for the "video games" the kids like.

SLOSH #31 doesn't satisfy the current DC mission statement, no: nobody dies, nobody cries, someone's getting fired. That big boring DC DNA, one helix of yawn stranded to one helix of timid-- it survives no matter what stunts they pull. Is that comforting or discomforting? Both?

(2) NEW AVENGERS #32: would-be summer movie blockbuster modern; to-the-extreme panel layouts; decent Dave McCaig colors; unnecessary sound effects-- three different fonts on one page! So you get your money's worth! Little tiny lines! Cliffhangers! Paranoia about women! War on terror metaphors! I am so, so old! Too old! I just want! A cup of tea! A nap! My! Life! Went! By! So! Fast! Meant! So! Little!!!

Marvel's always been more comfortable with more youthful art, more energetic art than what SLOSH puts forward. Do I consistently understand what I'm looking at in NA #32? Not really, but I think the kids like guessing which panel to read next-- you get more for your money that way. I liked crazier stuff than this when I was a kid…

The Skrulls thing ... I'm not in the mood to complain about that this week-- I'm still in recovery from having attended the Masque of the Red Death San Diego Edition 2007. Maybe next week but I don't want to do that whole "No, no, not that, wrong, Not that! " fan-mantra. That way fans can have a 'perfect high" moment that they want to be impossibly recreated—I just spent the weekend surrounded by it … Do you ever think it's not an accident a cartoonist wrote the final scene of Carnal Knowledge?

(3) And COLD HEAT #1-- drawn in dark purple ink, then drenched in blue and pink colored pencil. Panels wash into one another; the drawings respond to the emotions of the characters rather than create them; dialogue is expository and opaque seemingly at the same time; unnecessary lettering floats about.

There's a theory in film criticism-- I think I've heard it attributed to Jean-Luc Godard-- that if a film looks like a status quo movie, then the audience will treat it as reinforcing the status quo however much the film might try to didactically argue against the status quo. You ever heard that one? I'm not sure if that applies here or not-- I just wanted to name-drop Godard. You like Wittgenstein? Yeah: I went to college. Check me out.

The first issue of COLD HEAT-- in making these artistic choices, does it jolt the audience out of their normal experience and force them to re-experience material in a fresh way? Or is that just a big bunch of rhetorical nonsense to hide an absence of craft? Maybe I’m snowed because I think the colors are super-neat, but I personally tend to the former. But it’s art-gallery-interesting to me, interesting in how it was conceived, how it invites me to think about its creation. Which—is that its own sort of pornography, you know?

So: what’s the fundamental purpose of a comic book? Which of these three books satisfy that purpose?

Is it to deliver beloved comic book characters? By that standard, SLOSH wins—you get the most characters. Or is the purpose to deliver you into an artist’s vision? COLD HEAT wins at that. Is it just to excite the humors? NA succeeds well enough at that. Is it that there is no purpose, and the universe is cold and empty, without significance but for whatever trivial meaning we impose upon it, p.s. God is dead, so let’s snort crank and scare the neighbors? By that standard, ACCORDING TO JIM wins. Specifically the episode “Jim’s Birthday”: “Jim tries everything in his power (including Andy) to sabotage the birthday party Cheryl threw for him.” See, the birthday party symbolizes birth, but the sabotage symbolizes death, and Cheryl, Jim’s “wife,” symbolizes the urge to procreate; thus, Jim by trying to sabotage his wife, is expressing a desire to undo his own birth, to undo his own creation. According to Jim, God is dead. p.s. Andy symbolizes hilarity.

So, yeah: basically, I want art that can “win” and beat other art, while I sit on the sidelines and rate who wins. Good. Ass. Excellent. Eh. I want a FANTASTIC FOUR comic book that can hold your CHECKMATE comic book down and prison rape it. Is that normal? In prison, it is. And aren’t we all in prison? Like, because society’s a prison, dude? Let’s just be all deep and shit.

NEXT WEEK: Some other comic, finally, finally, finally!

POS Follies Part 9

OK, system in and up, doors opened a bit, and we've done our first 2 sales.

OF COURSE the first sale (w/ 4 items) scanned successfully on zero of them, but he was cool enough to let me go enter the scans back into the system (though I can easialy check someone out w/o it), so the NEXT time I sell those books it should go smooth. We'll see!

Second transaction was good for 3 of the 4, and the last was my last copy of something that I won't restock anyway, so I let it go.

Anyway, back to it, more later (maybe)

-B

Housecleaning Notes.

So, if you want to read Brian's POS pains in the entirity, you can go here and get the entire POS Follies series of posts (Gimme awhile, and I'll actually label all of his retailing info posts, so those persons who come here wanting to read that kind of thing only can do so without fear of running into opinions); it seemed like something that should be easier to get to than it used to be, somehow.

Question for the audience: Should we add tags (sorry, Blogger, I mean "labels") for each poster, so you could search for Jog's, Johanna's, Abhay's, etc.'s, posts more easily, or is that just getting ridiculous?

EDIT: Okay, individual posters have labels for their posts going back to the relaunch (Sorry, folks - I'm not going to go back and label the previous 700-odd posts right now. Maybe when I have a large amount of free time). Feel free to use the comments thread to suggest other changes we need to make to make this blog more excitingly user-friendly, with the exception of asking for larger fonts.

Back! Rushing! Speed speed!: Graeme catches up on 7/25's books.

Dear Teacher, please forgive Graeme for not posting for four days. I mean, sure there was that San Diego thing at the weekend (And thanks to all Kate and I met and hung around with there, by the way; it was fun), but there was also work and all manner of craziness happening at the same time that meant that my attempt to write lots of reviews ahead of time went somewhat awry. That said, San Diego was weird, in that it may be the first convention in my life that I've ever left feeling more excited about comics than I was when I got there. I think that's due to the fact that the few things I picked up while there were all very, very good (In particular, Black Metal, Pulphope and Joel Priddy's Beeswax Bound; I completely forgot to try and pick up a copy of the "5" minicomic, though, much to my annoyance) - Expect some kind of write-up of those things and more (Clubbing! Laika! Robot Dreams!) soon, once I catch up with the weekly grind. Which can only mean one thing: Time for lots of short reviews!

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #542: Is there anyone who isn't deadly bored of this storyline? The stunningly unconvincing "Dark Spidey" plot continues with Peter Parker promising to kill the Kingpin and enjoying Kyle Baker's favorite sport, shirtless fighting. If it wasn't for Ron Garney's surprisingly good artwork, this would be much less than Awful.

ANNIHILATION CONQUEST: STARLORD #1: Another Good spin-off from the Annihilation line, with Keith Giffen remembering that Marvel has plenty of non-MODOK d-list characters that could be used and abused as cannon-fodder in this beautifully illustrated book - Timothy Green II really makes this more enjoyable than it has any right to be. Here's hoping he ends up a superstar who still manages to do random and fun books like this one.

BLACK SUMMER #1: Which is really #2, and also Eh. If you like Warren Ellis a lot and wanted to see him do superheroes, then you'll probably like this, but there's not enough meat or originality in this issue to make me want to come back for the next issue.

DOKTOR SLEEPLESS #1: Also in the disappointing Ellis vein, this new ongoing feels very much like Ellis trying to find a fictional use for the online persona that he's been trying on for the last couple of years, but not really succeeding. Lots of lines feel as if he's written them elsewhere and, again, there's not enough of a hook to bring non-Ellis fans back for a second issue. Eh.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #14: My first taste of the Green Lantern spin-off, and the momentum of the Sinestro Corps crossover is enough to make it seem like something I should be reading more often. I don't know if it's good writing or just depressing that Dave Gibbons' writing fits in so well with Geoff Johns' work, but it's solid enough space opera. Good.

THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST #7: One of the books I would've spent more time on had I had the time, this fill-in/breather between main storylines was Very Good despite the oddly-split art chores; romantic, funny and smart, this really is what I want to see more of in my punchin' and kickin' books.

IRON MAN #20: Pretty much filler, but well enough done to be Okay nonetheless - Ending the issue with "Find out Iron Man's fate in World War Hulk!" does make me wonder whether the next issue, which isn't a World War Hulk crossover, is just going to completely ignore whatever the end of WWH is going to be, or spoil it, considering that the crossover has another three months to run, but that's the way these particular cookies crumble, I guess.

THE MIGHTY AVENGERS #4: Hey, remember this book? That's good, because this issue is pretty unmemorable in and of itself. "Nice" to see the return of gratuitous death of spouse as plot McGuffin, though. And when I say "nice," I mean Crap. Late and depressing.

STAR TREK: YEAR FOUR #1: It's just like an episode of the original series, if the original series was Awful. The main fault, I think, is that it's half a story - All set-up and then rushed resolution - although the art (which can't decide whether it wants to be "realistic" or cartoony) doesn't help, either. I almost want to say that it's a missed opportunity, but I'm not sure what opportunity has been missed, exactly - Was anyone really desperate to see a comic version of what happened when the original show was cancelled when we've already had movie follow-ups and years of comics with the same characters?

UNHOLY UNION #1: Ass Crap, as Abhay might say, but it really is - An ugly '90s flashback with no plot and pointless guest stars that leads into a crossover you don't want to read. There's no rhyme, reason nor explanation for the crossing over of the Marvel and Top Cow universes here, instead the characters just appear for a pointless and generic fight scene without a winner, then magically disappear once the pages are up. It's tough to say just how lazy and painful to read this is, so I'll just say that everyone should avoid it, and leave it at that.

Any attempt at Picking Of The Week would end up with something that I'd read at SDCC (Although Iron Fist comes close, I have to admit), but Picking Of The Weak would easily be Unholy Union. Ron Marz, you lived through this the first time... Why're you doing it to yourself again?