Gabbity-Gabbity-Gab: Got Around To It: Jeff's Reviews of 5/24 Books.

So, did anyone catch Art School Confidential yet? Edi and I caught it on Sunday and thought I would talk about it in a non-spoilery way before gabbing on last week's books. ASC is a weird little film and, frankly, I don't think it's at all successful in what it tries to do. But what's interesting about it is that everything that makes it a failure as a movie would've made it successful as a graphic novel (particularly a Dan Clowes graphic novel). As you probably know from any slight interest in the film, ASC follows freshman Jerome Platz (Max Minghella) as he enters Strathmore Art Academy and learns that neither unremitting ambition nor sizeable talent is going to help him make an impression on his instructors and fellow students, nor will it help him lose his virginity to Audrey, the girl of his dreams (Sophia Myles). As for what will help him, that's the meat of the movie and I'll stop the nickel tour here. I will say, however, that Clowes' and director Terry Zwigoff's substantial pessimism for the human condition trips them up here, as the early parts of the movie clearly chalk up Jerome's fixation on Audrey to his high standards and self-consciousness about sex. Consequently, it's hard to care about Jerome's romantic longing when the filmmakers all but tell you Jerome really just needs to lighten up and get laid.

Such cynicism isn't the real problem, though. What really kills the picture are the sketchy nature of the scenes that don't really flow into one another as much as file listlessly past you on the big screen, the presentation of stereotypes without insight or development, and an inability to suggest the passage of time in a genuine living environment--an inability that's usually the classic mark of a bad film.

But at about the two-thirds mark, I realized that it's precisely that feeling of static isolation and disconnectedness that gives Clowes' comic work such a punch. In his comics, characters move through the world without being part of it, either lost in their own thoughts and conversations or voyeuristically gaping at events happening around them which are either cartoonish, brutal or grotesque (or usually all three). And it's their isolation--and the isolated nature of the events around them that suddenly leap out then unexpectedly fade away--that gives the work its eerie power or, when combined with a character's vital and profane anger, its humor. (I'm thinking here of Ghost World and David Boring, in particular.)

Unfortunately, in a movie, you can't just have characters go through their first semester in higher education without giving the sense of a chaotically changing community. For that matter, you can't set scenes in art school studios in the dead of night with no one around--there's always someone up at four a.m. playing 4AD records and smoking up a storm, no matter how late--and you can't have a dorm room with three roommates on what appears to be an otherwise empty floor. Critics have complained about what a cipher Jerome is, but ciphers work fine in cinema, as long as the world around them is full and rich and vivid. (Fellini, Lynch or Cronenberg are three of the more extreme examples of this.) Nearly all the strengths of Clowes' narrative cartooning end up working against Art School Confidential and it's a crying shame. On the other hand, if you've read a lot of Clowes, you can pretty much imagine what his graphic novel adaptation would look like and that's kind of cool.

Christ. Okay, for those of you still alive, on with the books:

52 WEEK #3: Is the cover some clever allusion to Lex Luthor Red and Lex Luthor Blue? I can't decide if that'd be totally cool or totally suck. Probably a little played out after the Alex Luthor thing, but it could work. I found this issue to be a bit draggy but that's because I don't like Steel much and the Black Adam stuff didn't feel that new to me. (As a Marvel fanboy, I find it kind of a bummer that Black Adam is basically Sub-Mariner but done right precisely because he isn't Sub-Mariner, if you get my drift). OK, but I'm not all a-tingle.

ANNIHILATION RONAN #2: Sure, it's a little, I dunno, haphazard, maybe, in its plotting but lovely art+beloved C rate cosmic characters (The Shaper of Worlds? Glee!)=Good in this fanboy's obviously biased playbook. I liked it.

BATMAN #653: "Heroin. Cocaine. Weed. Opium. Valium. Crystal. Acid. Ecstasy." Two-Face's list of vices trumped by the appeal of villainy runs so long I wanted to call James Robinson's N.A. sponsor. Also funny is Batman's bagging on every other hero in Gotham--"The Creeper? Have you ever tried talking to him? Ragman? He smells like old socks. And don't get me started on The Rose & The Thorn..."--while recruiting Harvey, when all we really needed was an expressed desire on Batman's part to put things right again. Most of the heavy lifting (Hello, who cured Harvey?) is relegated to scenes we'll probably never see and some of the choices were kinda retarded but it still was highly OK, and highly funny.

BLUE BEETLE #3: I'm really enjoying this title. Getting us to care about characters we've just met in mid-One Year Later change-up is no small feat. Good stuff.

BUCKAROO BANZAI #1: Ouch. Gimped by some really bad storytelling (I love the part on page 2 where the adoring fans greet Buckaroo and then everyone just stands around staring uncomfortably at each other) and just a big ol' globby mass of uncomfortable dialogue, most of which sounds more like Three's Company than Buckaroo Banzai. ("It was my late husband's--for protection!" "Everyone should carry protection.") But, let's face it, the original was more than a little bit of a clumsy mess too, and I got the idea the writer was trying in places to mimic the original's sour mash of different goofy dialogue styles. It's more or less Eh, and maybe even a bit higher than that, but you'd have to be a die-hard Blue Blaze Irregular to make it through without feeling a migraine coming on.

COMICS JOURNAL #276: Between Part One of the Bob Haney interview (in which we learn Chevy Chase's dad is Bob Haney's brother-in-law, among other things), Joe McCulloch's (a.k.a., Jog of Jog The Blog) initial installment of regular feature "Cape Fear" and 34 pages of early Krigstein comics, this is perilously close to a must-buy. Good stuff, although I've barely made a dent in it.

CHECKMATE #2: After goofing on the first issue, I'm abashed to admit I kinda got hooked on all the interdepartmental politics shown here. And yet, there's no real urgency to it--the struggle for the team to remain part of the U.N. is hardly the stuff that'll keep me up at night. And Kobra? Has anyone except a writer looking for a nice, all-purpose terrorist group ever been really impressed with Kobra? OK, but it's gonna have to go quite a bit further before I'm a fan.

DAREDEVIL #85: I'm still grooving on it and this issue had some really cool stuff in it, but the change-up at the end kinda stalls out a little bit--if you're not going to put The Kingpin at the center of the attempt to manipulate Murdock (and I like that he apparently isn't) you've got to come up with someone a little cooler than Hammerhead and the Harlem crime lord from an old Captain America run. Still Very Good, though.

EXILES #81: In concept, the ongoing battle against Proteus seemed close to perfect--it spans a huge number of alternate worlds with real consequences to the team in nearly every turn--but in execution, it's grown pretty flat with each issue falling into a predictable "Proteus tricks heroes of the new reality into fighting The Exiles until finally the mistakes have been realized but not in time to stop Proteus from getting away" routine. A drag, because if Bedard and Co. paid as much attention to the structure as they did to their latest batch of forgotten Marvel toys, this would be awesome instead of Eh.

FOLLOWING CEREBUS #8: The conversation between Chester Brown and Dave Sim in which Sim examines his reasons for being excluded from "The List" of top cartoonists and the extent to which the members of "The List" are consciously trying to dismiss Sim's work to their own advantage is both impressively candid, depressingly paranoid, and perversely readable. But Following Cerebus also includes a surprising mix of whatever Sim finds worthy of interest--Roberta Gregory, jam comics, the mini-comic opus One for Sorrow. If the first few years of The Comics Journal had been all about Gary Groth trying to figure out why people didn't like him, it would have read a bit like Following Cerebus. Good, albeit distressing, stuff.

HAWKGIRL #52: In this month's installment of Boy, We Hate Hawkgirl: Simonson and Chaykin have Hawkgirl defeated by a gangster nicknamed Four-Eyes, perfectly setting up next issue's clock-cleaning by the gangster Fat Kid With Asthma. Also, Hawkgirl tries to remember some fighting advice given to her by Bruce Wayne but falls asleep before finishing her thought. And then the issue ends with the thrillign cliffhanger of Hawkgirl waking up and stretching. Awful as awful can be, if not even more so.

NEW AVENGERS #19: The saga of the mysterious being named Michael enters what feels like its fifttenth continuous year, and I kinda couldn't care less. Also, right above the barcode on the cover, it says "Rated A." Is that "A" for "Adults?" "All-Ages?" "Apathy-inducing" "Avengers, New?" Marvel's rating system sucks serious ass. (Maybe it's "Rated A" for "Ass?") No worse than Eh but unbelievably dull.

NEXTWAVE AGENTS OF HATE #5: My favorite Celestial with that awesome thumb-pattern making the loser symbol? Funny. The other cheap shots at Marvel heroes? Also funny. But either Ellis's best ideas got shot down or he just can't be arsed to come up with anything funny that isn't unbelievably scatological and/or profane--adorably cute killing machines are just the sort of hackneyed gag I'd expect from, I dunno, Chris Claremont. Eh, and it's a god-damned shame.

POWERS #18: If you're still invested in the lead characters, there's some stuff in here that will make your balls sweat. (In a good way, of course...) And that should be enough to forgive the awkward framing sequences (I mean, really, that was the reason for the whole spoken-word monologue thing?), the drastic plot shortcuts and the powerful whiff of anti-climax. So if you can wrap your head around all that, Good.

SCOTT PILGRIM AND THE INFINITE SADNESS TPB: Sadly, this book came out in what is clearly one of my mouthy "Yeah, but..." weeks. On the one hand, SP&TIS is fun, funny and impressively ambitious--I loved (as I always do) the videogame stuff, the witty dialogue and particularly the boss villain who's unbeatable because he's a vegan. (Fucking. Hilarious.) On the "yeah, but..." side, the ambitious alternating flashback structure didn't work as well as it should have (why did Kid Chameleon fall apart again?), too many of the characters looked alike (despite O'Malley's thoughtful attention to design) and the endless number of new characters felt less like a rich and bustling world and more like a confusing parade of in-jokes and shout-outs.

Is SP&TIS worth buying? Will you read it several times? Does it give you the sense of an artist working his ass off to improve himself at every turn? Fuck, yes. But does it make you wish O'Malley hadn't been staring down the barrel of a blown deadline so he could've taken the time to really fine-tune the material? For me, the answer to that is also: fuck, yes.

Despite the "Yeah, but..." Very Good stuff and my TRADE PICK OF THE WEEK.

SECRET SIX #1: Normally, I find the superhero based stuff in the real world kinda groany and preachy and squalid, but it was actually pretty kick-ass here. Throw in some cool characterization and a very cool cliffhanger and you've got a very strong returning first issue. Good stuff and if you liked Villains United, you should really like this.

SQUADRON SUPREME #3: Profoundly anticlimactic. Also, Straczynski tries so hard to tackle the issue of race in a way that won't come off as patronizing and trite that it comes off as ultra-patronizing and trite. Eh.

SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #18: The hints here about the "A.I. wars of old" certainly point to Waid as the author of that Magnus-Morrow scene I liked, so that was kinda interesting. And we're finally seeing some movement on the Brainiac 5 subplot. But without Kitson's ultra-clean linework and sense of body language to distinguish all the many characters, I found myself on the edge of overwhelmed and at the point of tuning it all out. (Monthly superhero team books set in the far future must be an unbelievable bitch to draw.) Highly OK, but I think the title is going to always be wobbly as a monthly and that's a drag.

TEEN TITANS #36: Really a shock--and not an unpleasant one--to have Morrison's Doom Patrol run moved so quickly from Byrne's "never happened" take to the front-and-center approach it's given here. I'm not entirely sold on it--several issues into One Year Later and it doesn't feel like this book has a direction other than an incorporated Doom Patrol pitch from Johns--but I really, really want to be sold on it and that's something. Definitely OK.

TESTAMENT #6: For a few pages of this issue, Testament becomes the book it's pitched itself as--a metafictional take on religion that challenges the reader to think of established concepts as dynamically fluid archetypes--and then the rest of the time it's Biblical references tossed onto a Procrustean bed that isn't even close to a good fit. Would that this work had gotten the editorial attention and guidance needed to help shape it. Eh but goddam that Liam Sharp can draw.

X-STATIX PRESENTS DEAD GIRL #5: Falls apart at the end (doesn't most of Milligan's stuff?) but falls apart funny. And wow, Laura Allred's colors on this, with the tints on Tyke's glasses and the shadows on people's faces, are really top-notch. Good but not great, I wish the market could support this sort of insanity on a regular basis. It's fun.

PICK OF THE WEEK: DAREDEVIL #85, because it had me on the edge of my seat right up 'til the very end.

PICK OF THE WEAK: HAWKGIRL #52, because Simonson & Chayking handle the title like it's a PG-13 version of Wendy Whitebread, Undercover Slut.

TRADE PICK: SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT PILGRIM! Even if, compared to the first two issues, it's more like SCOTT PILGRIM. SCOTT PILGRIM SCOTT PILGRIM(!). It still blows the rest of this week's releases right out of the water.

Okay, that's all from me for a while, I promise.

A Very Long Post: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy...

...than the Allemany Flea Market.

Edi and I went with our pals Rob and Rachel Ginsberg today, as we've been telling each other forever we would. The idea is that maybe Rob and I would team up to sell some over our copious amounts of crap and split the cost of renting a table together, and this would be our chance to research the market and see how it shaped up. That was what we were supposed to do. What we actually did, of course, was pounce on any box of comics we could find and rifle through, holding up particularly unappetizing examples to each other.

Which is how I found issues #2-5 of Captain America by Rob Liefeld and Jeph Loeb.

Now, I should, with a header like the above, talk about how freakin' scary the Allemany Flea Market is. But it's hard, frankly, to really convey the sheer weight of how depressing and awful the place actually is. It's less a flea market and more like a refugee camp for the self-deluded. Large bins of rusty tools and battered jewelry compete for space with tattered, unread magazines. A grease-stained kimono flaps like the flag of a defeated army over quivering fold-out tables and rusted out tricycles. And all of that would be fine if it was priced accordingly, or at least put forward with a kind of humility that would allow browsers to amuse themselves. But the prices were ghastly--"Three dollars," a man announced proudly when I started to sift through his collection of battered VHS cassettes to see if he had any DVDs (he didn't).

At one point, I held up battered X-Men: The Motion Picture action figures, still carded but flecked inside the bubble with spots of moisture. "Oooo, you can complete your collection, Rob," I said and the owner all but leapt at us from the other side of the table. "I've got others," he said and pushed forward to Matrix action figures. "Only six dollars each."

Similarly, when I was caught elsewhere showing off a pair of matching Punisher figures (from the Toy Biz "Street Action" series), the guy came forward and said, "Both figures for ten bucks."

I scrutinized the figures, still marked with yellowing Kaybee Toys tags of four dollars. "They're exactly the same figure. Why--"

"Different comic books," he said, pointing at the backs. "They're, uh, variants."

At another point, walking by DVDs, I said to Rob, "Oooo. One Night at McCool's."

"Yeah," Rob said. "How could they let that one go?"

A young guy appeared out of nowhere. "Which movie?"

"Oh, uh, One Night at McCool's."

The guy stepped forward to the table and looked at the movie. "Oh, yeah. Great movie."

Rob and I walked forward about ten steps and Rob looked back. "Dude," he said to me. "I think we convinced him that One Night at McCool's is a keeper. He took it off the table and put it over near his car."

"Unbelievable."

It wasn't until halfway around the "Mart" that we found any comic books at all. A large Jamaican woman had approximately two long boxes of mid-90's DC and Marvel titles, with the quality reaching the peak of the four issue Saint of Killers mini (and a few issues from the first ten of Hitman) and then quickly spiking back down to Midnight Sons, Dan Chichester's Daredevil, issues from the Death of Superman storyline, and Liefeld & Loeb's Captain America.

I walked over to the woman with seven books. "How much?"

"Fourteen dollars."

"Two dollars each? How about seven for all of 'em?"

She shook her head and nodded her head at the long boxes. "Those are thousands of dollars of books."

"No," I said. "They really aren't."

"When I was a girl," she said in her accent, which may not have been Jamaican. "A man who lived next door collected comic books. And one day, another man came and bought four comics for twelve hundred dollars. I couldn't believe it. Four comics for twelve hundred dollars!"

"Yes, well, some older comics are worth money to collectors. Some collectors."

"..."

"So," I said. "Seven?"

She shook her head. "Ten." She kept shaking her head while taking my money, sure I was robbing her.

Finally, Rob and I found four boxes of good stuff. Starlin issues of Warlock; issues of Jimmy Olsen, including what appeared to be the entire Kirby run scatted among the different boxes. Gold Key Twlight Zones. Werewolf By Night. Creatures on the Loose featuring Man-Wolf. Unfortunately, they were priced like the good stuff. "50% off the marked price," the wild-haired guy in his sixties said to us. The marked prices were between eight and fourteen dollars apiece.

As we walked away, Rob said, "It was just a relief to see some real comics. Even if they were comic book store prices." And he was right. The rest of the flea market was like something out of a Nathanael West novel, a small setpiece of despair where people who'd been cheated out of their money by buying useless junk tried to prove they hadn't by selling it to the next guy. It was commerce as a failed redemptive act.

"Yeah, but I dunno," I said. "I was just hoping we'd find some, you know, Rom: Spaceknights for cheap."

And then finally, at the end, in the back corners of the mart, next to the guy selling plastic lawn furniture for twenty dollars a piece and a lonely guy who'd talk about his Tex Avery sheet music to anyone who'd ask, I found a small beat up stack of yellowed, unbagged, bowed-in comic books. Supergirl #401. Montana Kid #46 (called Kid Montana in the indica and the corner of the cover). An issue of Strange Tales. Our Fighting Forces. And Amazing Spider-Man #35. I walked over to the guy standing by his van, a shirtless man in a baseball cap eating salad out of a foil take out tray.

"How much for these?" I said, holding up the small pile.

He looked at me, squinted. "Three dollars a book."

"Uh..."

And so, somehow, despite all my bitching and my group's general lowered spirits from visiting this short, brutish and nasty pavillion of chintzy, overpriced goods, I ended up with this:

for three dollars. And I admit it: my tiny mind is still kinda blown by that.

Arriving 6/1

Remember that this week comics arrive on THURSDAY, not Wednesday, due to Memorial Day. If you go into your Local COmics SHop on Wed looking for new comics, be warned they will likely laugh and point thier fingers and you, and mock you once you are out of sight.

52 WEEK #4 ABC A TO Z TOP 10 AND TEAMS ACTION COMICS #839 AGE OF BRONZE #23 ALL NEW OFF HANDBOOK MARVEL UNIVERSE A TO Z #5 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #532 ANGEL SPOTLIGHT GUNN ONE SHOT APOCALYPSE NERD #3 ARMY OF DARKNESS #7 ARTESIA BESIEGED #1 (OF 6) BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #206 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA #0 BETTY #156 BOMB QUEEN #4 (OF 4) BOOKS OF DOOM #6 (OF 6) CLIVE BARKERS GREAT AND SECRET SHOW #3 (OF 12) COBB OFF THE LEASH #1 CRISIS AFTERMATH THE SPECTRE #1 (OF 3) DAUGHTERS OF THE DRAGON #5 (OF 6) DEADWORLD #4 DOLL & CREATURE #3 (OF 4) EMISSARY #1 EMO BOY #7 GI JOE VS TRANSFORMERS VOL 3 ART OF WAR CVR A #3 (OF 5) GLOOMCOOKIE #27 GODLAND #11 HERO SQUARED ONGOING #1 INCREDIBLE HULK #95 ION #2 (OF 12) IRON MAN THE INEVITABLE #6 (OF 6) JLA CLASSIFIED #21 JUGHEAD AND FRIENDS DIGEST #11 LIBERTY MEADOWS #37 LOCAL #5 (OF 12) LUCIFER #74 METAL GEAR SOLID SONS OF LIBERTY #6 MINESHAFT #17 MONA LISA EVE OF ALL SAINTS SP #1 (OF 3) MOUSE GUARD #3 (OF 6) MY INNER BIMBO #1 (OF 5) PAINKILLER JANE #2 PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #103 POISON ELVES LOST TALES #4 PUNISHER THE TYGER QUEEN & COUNTRY #30 RED SONJA #10 RED SONJA VS THULSA DOOM #4 (OF 4) RISING STARS UNTOUCHABLE #4 (OF 5) ROBOTIKA #4 (OF 4) RUNAWAYS #16 SAVAGE DRAGON #126 SEA OF RED #10 SECOND WAVE WAR O/T WORLDS #3 SKYSCRAPERS OF THE MIDWEST #3 SON OF M #6 (OF 6) SONIC X #9 SOULFIRE #7 STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC #5 STORM #4 (OF 6) SUPERMAN BATMAN #26 TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #38 TEEN TITANS GO #31 THING #7 TRANSFORMERS INFILTRATION #5 ULTIMATE EXTINCTION #5 (OF 5) ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #30 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #95 UPTIGHT #1 WARLORD #4 WARREN ELLIS BLACK GAS WRAPAROUND #3 WRAITHBORN #6 (OF 6) ZOMBIES #1

Book / Mag / Stuff ABADAZAD BOOK 1 ROAD TO INCONCEIVABLE ABADAZAD BOOK 2 DREAM THIEF ART OUT OF TIME UNKOWN COMIC VISIONARIES 1900-1969 HC BECK MONGOLIAN CHOP SQUAD VOL4 GN (OF 19) BIZENGHAST VOL 2 GN (OF 3) DEMI SAGA OF A DEMONESS VOL 1REG CVR TP DOES THIS CAPE MAKE ME LOOK FAT TP ESSENTIAL OFF HANDBOOK MARVELUNIVERSE DELUXE ED VOL 2 TP FIVE FISTS OF SCIENCE GN HERO SQUARED VOL 1 TP JEEPERS PEEPERS GALLERY OF AMERICAN PIN UP ART TP JLA VOL 19 WORLD WITHOUT A JUSTICE LEAGUE TP JON SABLE FREELANCE BLOODTRAIL TP MARVEL SELECT SPIDER-WOMAN AF NIGHT TRIPPERS GN PLAN A THE ART OF NATE VAN DYKE SC SAMURAI EXECUTIONER VOL 10 TP SENTINEL VOL 3 PAST IMPERFECTDIGEST TP SEVEN SOLDIERS OF VICTORY VOL3 TP SHADES OF GRAY COMICS & STORIES GN SHOWCASE PRESENTS HAUNTED TANK VOL 1 TP SINBUCK ANGEL EYES VOL 1 TP STAGGER LEE GN SUPERMAN COVER TO COVER HC SUPERMAN RETURNS OFFICIAL MOVIE GUIDE TP TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #145 VAMPIRELLA REVELATIONS VOL 1 TP WE ARE ON OUR OWN HC WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE SIN CITY 2 A JOLIE CVR #177 WOLVERINE ENEMY OF THE STATE VOL 2 TP

What looks good to you?

-B

Spoilers Ahoy!

Spoiler the First: Please remember that because of the holiday weekend, CE (and other fine comic stores everywhere) will be getting new comics in on Thursday, not Wednesday.

Spoiler the Second: Unless someone in DC's marketing is being super-crafty, Batwoman's secret identity is spoiled in this story in the NY Times today which concerns itself with the concentrated effort on the part of DC to create (and Marvel to spotlight) more superheroes of color and sexual orientation. I was actually just thrilled to see the new Blue Beetle below the fold on the front page of the A&E section.

Spoiler the Third: I'm on vacation this week, which means that while, yeah, I probably will do reviews, I probably won't get to 'em until Tuesday again. (The missus has assured me she's got some work to do on Monday so if I'm feeling inspired, maybe I'll get to 'em then.) So this isn't really a spoiler, unless you consider visiting our site ten or fifteen extra times to see if we've updated an activity worth spoiling.

Oh, and I fixed the tags, finally. Funny about that Firefox/IE thing, huh?

I'm not dead...

...I'm just sick. Which is very annoying, because it means I've not picked up Scott Pilgrim 3 yet, nor had a chance to bitch about Moon Knight #2 from last week or say that 52 #2 was better than #1. Someone who is healthy, however, is Brian, who's got a new Tilting at Windmills up at Newsarama, so go and read that while conducting magical ceremonies to make me healthier.

Hibbs does 5/17

Huh, it looks like it's just me this week, as late as I am in posting. Just wrapped TILTING AT WINDMILLS, and Ben and Tzipora are still at the park, so let's see how much I can get written... 52 WEEK 2: Yeah, character piece. Or pieces, whatever. Liked this issue quite a bit, esp. the Morrow and Magnus scene (Lester says Morrison, I say Waid), and it moved right along, doing exactly what a weekly comic should do. My problems were all in the art -- a) that's such the wrong angle for Ralph's nose to wiggle, and, anyway, it's kind of out of tone to do that at your wife's grave, b) that crappy paste up job on the wall in the Morrow scene, and c) the hot lesbian in lingerie in Montoya's bed. Seemed pretty gratuitous, and out of character for a mean drunk. Mm, and, not knowing what they have planned later down the line, I think I would have pushed the Wondergirl scene a few weeks back. I don't know how she could have pulled together a worldwide thing like that in 10 days, or whatever it's been? Still, otehr than that: GOOD. Oh wait, I forgot -- the "History of the DC Universe" backup? Bad. Really really bad. Any "history" that has to begin with "See, there were these multiple earths, and then there weren't" is bad news.

ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #4: I thought the fold-out was really really effective. Not just as a piece of art, but more as a story-telling trick. That worked tremendously. Art's nice, as always all the way through. But, I don't like this Batman, and I don't really like this Robin, and while I'm sure that's the point, it's not something I would choose to read for pleasure. AWFUL.

ANNIHILATION: NOVA #2: Man, that's an ugly new costume. EH.

BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #4: Yeah, dug that all the way through. VERY GOOD.

FELL #5: Mm, yeah, strong issue -- perhaps the strongest one yet. I really liked the density, and the backmatter. This is EXCELLENT.

MAN-BAT #2: I literally yelled "Oh...no, ick!" out loud upon encountering the racial stereotyping (just one of many) of the Irish Desk Sergeant saying "boyo". I know several Irish people, and I've never once heard one say "boyo" ever. At least he didn't go "ti-ti-ti-ti-ti" and do a leprechaun dance. Really badly written tripe, AWFUL.

MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #1: The "kids" Avengers title, with the really bizarre addition of Storm to the team. I mean, Wolverine is on the "big kids" regular team, sure, but TWO X-Men just feels wrong. I kinda liked the Giant-Girl character (she had the only good lines, really), but the set-up of them being a government team just didn't work for me. Me no likee. EH.

MOON KNIGHT #2: The first issue's flashbacks worked because they built to the big reveal, but this issue it just felt padded. I also may be alone in just not liking David Finch's art. EH.

ROBIN #150: OK, so he had to do all that rigermorle and acrobatics to get in, right? How did he get out with a hogtied 200 pound man? (Superboy punched a wall!) Other than that, I liked this quite a bit. Really, the big problem is that this is OYL -- Tim and Bruce have bonded, the trust issue should be off the table now. Still, a low GOOD.

SHADOWPACT #1: I really really like seeing Willingham draw again. I wonder how long that can possibly last? Clever use of OYL (though I'm not sure it really matches up with IC or 52), and just generally, I liked it. So far, so GOOD.

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #25: Yikes, that's what this was all about? Seems like kind of a waste, and quite a bit of a cheat to this reader. Extremely EH.

Hm, they're home. Let's put this back burner for the minute....

....OK, back, 28 hours later. Just got back from doing the comics at the store. WHat's left? Fuck, too tired to review more, so let's wrap up.... oh, and I notice that Lester just posted, making my rush to get this up probably wasn't needed...

PICK OF THE WEEK: FELL #5, no contest. A solid read, loverly illustrated, done-in-one, with lots of good Backmatter... and under $2. God Bless Warren Ellis is all I can say...

PICK OF THE WEAK: Yeah, ALL-STAR BATMAN & ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #4. Despite the cool storytelling of the fold-out.

BOOK/TP OF THE WEEK: THe new KRAZY & IGNATZ is pretty terrific, HOTWIRE COMIX looked pretty interesting on the flip test, and we sold a LOT of copies of Y THE LAST MAN v7, but, pretty much hands down, the finest book of last week has to be Linda Medley's wonderful CASTLE WAITING HC. Gorgeous gorgeous work, with a fine light comic touch. "Solicitine" almost certainly goes on too long, in the context of the book, because it side-tracks the story away from Jain and the Castle, but, still, it's all damn fine stuff, and heavily recommended. It's also a very nicely designed book, too.

So, that's what I thought, how about you?

-B

Arriving 5/24

Pretty big week this week, with lots and lots of hero comics. Plus, some little book called SCOTT PILGRIM. Might have to look into that one... 2000 AD #1486 2000 AD #1487 52 WEEK #3 AMERICAN WAY #4 (OF 8) ANGRY YOUTH COMIX #11 ANNIHILATION RONAN #2 (OF 4) ARCHIE #566 ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #170 AVENGERS & POWER PACK ASSEMBLE #2 (OF 4) BATMAN #653 BIRDS OF PREY #94 BLACK PANTHER #16 BLUE BEETLE #3 BUCKAROO BANZAI #1 (OF 3) CARTOON NETWORK BLOCK PARTY #21 CATWOMAN #55 CHECKMATE #2 CHICANOS #7 CONAN BOOK OF THOTH #3 (OF 4) CRISIS AFTERMATH THE BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN #4 (OF 6) DAREDEVIL #85 ETERNALS SKETCHBOOK EXILES #81 FANTASTIC FOUR A DEATH IN THEFAMILY FUTURAMA COMICS #25 GREEN LANTERN #11 GROUNDED #6 (OF 6) HAWKGIRL #52 HELLBLAZER #220 IRON MAN #8 JSA CLASSIFIED #12 JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #245 LAST CHRISTMAS #1 (OF 6) LAST PLANET STANDING #2 (OF 5) LOADED BIBLE JESUS VS VAMPIRES ONE SHOT LOVELESS #7 MARVEL MILESTONES BLACK PANTHER STORM & KA-ZAR MONTE COOKS PTOLUS #1 NEGATIVE BURN #1 NEW AVENGERS #19 NEW EXCALIBUR #7 NEXTWAVE AGENTS OF HATE #5 ORSON SCOTT CARD WYRMS #1 CVRA PIRATE CLUB #10 POWERS #18 PVP #26 ROCKETO JOURNEY TO THE HIDDENSEA #8 SECRET SIX #1 (OF 6) SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN #26 SHE-HULK 2 #8 SHRUGGED #0 SKYE RUNNER #2 SPAWN #156 SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #6 SPIKE VS DRACULA #3 (OF 5) SQUADRON SUPREME #3 STRANGERS IN PARADISE #82 SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #18 TEEN TITANS #36 TESTAMENT #6 TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE GRIND #1 (OF 3) THRUD THE BARBARIAN #1 THUNDERBOLT JAXON #4 (OF 5) TOUPYDOOPS #2 UNCLE SCROOGE #354 WALT DISNEYS COMICS AND STORIES #669 WITCHBLADE #98 WOLVERINE #42 X-FACTOR #7 X-STATIX PRESENTS DEAD GIRL #5 (OF 5) ZOOM SUIT #2 (OF 4)

Books / Mags / Stuff ATTITUDE VOL 3 NEW SUBVERSIVESOCIAL COMMENTARY BLACK WIDOW THINGS THEY SAY ABOUT HER TP COMICS JOURNAL #276 CONCRETE VOL 5 THINK LIKE A MOUNTAIN TP FOLLOWING CEREBUS #8 IRON WOK JAN GN #18 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES VOL 2 DEATH OF A DREAM TP LOVELESS VOL 1 A KIN OF HOMECOMING TP MIKUS SEXUAL ORGY DIARY TP MODESTY BLAISE VOL 9 GALLOWS BIRD TP NEW THUNDERBOLTS VOL 3 RIGHT OF POWER TP OUR GANG VOL 1 SC PREVIEWS VOL XVI #6 RISING STARS VOL 4 TP SCOTT PILGRIM VOL 3 INFINITE SADNESS GN SCRUBLANDS GN SFX #143 SPIDER-MAN BLACK CAT EVIL THAT MEN DO MARVEL PREMIERE HC SUPERMAN STRANGE ATTRACTORS TP

What looks good to you?

-B

The Pilgrim Dilemma (and other things unrelated to Jeff's reviews of 05/17 Books...)

Sorry, 52: this week's release of Scott Pilgrim Vol. 3 is the first book in a long while that would make me hurry to the shop on a Wednesday. In fact, only the dread logic of "the sooner I read Vol. 3 of Scott Pilgrim, the longer I have to wait for Vol. 4" is keeping me from showing up before the store opens on Wednesday and filching my copy. (Hmmm. "Filching." That's another word deviant sex practices have ruined forever. Edi and I are rewatching Season Two of Arrested Development (which even on a second viewing is astonishingly funny) and the writers may have included every gay innuendo in the English language except "filching." With luck, that's in season three.)

Wrote a few reviews yesterday, but they read like gibberish. However, since nobody else is posting and some of last week's books also read like gibberish (yes, I'm looking at you, Superman/Batman #25), I'll give it another shot, with the caveat that I'm not responsible for anyone who mambo dogfaces in the banana patch, yes? Let's to it.

52 WEEK #2: Liked it better this week, and the home game version of 52, "Who wrote what this issue?" is fun to play with your favorite cranky chum. (I thought Morrison wrote the Morrow and Magnus scene which was great, but Hibbs assured me it was Waid. The ensuing recounting of our respective reasoning was, I think, pretty fucking amusing but far too profane to be mentioned here.) And thank god Montoya did what the Question asked and showed up at that warehouse--having a scene in the third issue where the Question popped out of an underwear model's vagina hollering "Who ARE you?" might have been a little too much. Highly OK, but not out of the woods yet.

ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THEBOY WONDER #4: I can't quite parse my feelings about this in any clever way so lemme try an analogy. Let's say I started showing up to work at Comix Experience without pants and Hibbs didn't fire me. So who would blame me for continuing to show up without pants? In fact, who would blame me if I decided to start teabagging customers whenever they bent down for a comic book?

Change "me" to "Frank Miller," "showing up to work at Comix Experince without pants and Hibbs didn't fire me" to "turning in the Dark Knight Strikes Again and being asked to do All-Star Batman" and I think my analogy becomes clear. And as long as I'm not the one getting teabagged, ASSB&RTBW is hilarious.

I mean, Jog, a.k.a. King Sensible, posts why the gatefold here was inferior to a smilar earlier use in Shaolin Cowboy. And while he's probably more or less right, I have to admit: I laughed out loud when they did it here, in part because that fucking gatefold just...kept...unfolding. I also laughed both times at Superman running(!) at superspeed across the ocean, looking like a Don Martin character drawn by Jim Lee. In fact, I enjoyed it so much I hope Miller pushes this approach even further although the possible bar-lowering effects it might have on Miller's future superhero work gives me pause. (Or is it that merely the strange sensation of something unexpected resting on my forehead?) Good in a "burning your heroes in effigy can be fucking hilarious" kind of way.

ANNIHILATION NOVA #2: Or, issue #2 of Everyone Hates Nova. It's not a bad book--the creators are very clued in to Giffen's wit, so there are some amusing moments here and there, and the story is cohesively focused on character driven drama in a way a lot of today's Marvel comics only pretend to be. But considering everyone in the book seems to have open contempt for Nova (including Nova!), I just can't help but feel the creators would rather be plying their ultra-competent skills on just about anyone else. OK.

AQUAMAN SWORD OF ATLANTIS #42: Jeezis, that whole "No, I'm not Aquaman, I just have the same name and look like him but I'm a totally different guy" thing is really dragging down the forward momentum on this book. And each issue has more characters from the DCU for Arthur to explain himself to, so I assume the grand conclusion of the arc will be Arthur meeting the Justice League and explaining to each individual member, "No, I'm not Aquaman, I just have the same name and look like him but I'm a totally different guy." A real shame, because the underwater Conan/ERB scenes are very enjoyable. OK, but let's get a move on, huh?

BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #4: I didn't review any of these issues because (if I'm remembering correctly) issue #1 came out when I was in Argentina and I was always an issue behind. But now that it's at the end, please let me recommend this fine Paul Pope miniseries. Compared to most of Pope's work, it's very one note--imagine that issue of Batman: Year One where the cops are hunting Batman in that bombed out building and multiply it by four--but he plays that note incredibly well. If you like to see Batman punching cops, you'll really like this mini. And if you like to see Paul Pope punch up his pacing and design to prove he's capable of turning out a technically accomplished thriller, you'll also really like this mini. Very Good stuff.

CONAN #28: The closest we're ever going to get to a Will Eisner issue of Conan, what with the story being Kurt Busiek's tribute to Robert E. Howard's life and with Eric Powell's expressive, character driven linework. Sadly, however, this issue reminded me of Eisner at his most schmaltzy: the poor dreamer who saves everyone is remembered by the village where he grew up as a coward and a fool, and only the people who know better are aware of how his his power and his talent saved them all. It's well-intentioned and clever, to be sure, but I found it blucky and, at its core, emotionally dishonest. Eh.

FELL #5: Ellis promised us a whiz-bang interrogation room scene last issue and I think he and Templesmith delivered. I'm not sure I bought all of Fell's emotional beats--I feel like Ellis can't decide whether Fell is a nice guy who can be a fucker when he needs to or a fucker who comes across like a nice guy than he really is--but all the body language stuff was fascinating and the simple drama of the situation worked for me. Very Good.

MAN-BAT #2: Shit, is Bruce Jones ripping off the Leopard Man again? Now that I think about it, this whole miniseries is just going to be one big rip-off of that film (creature on the loose is blamed for rash of murders that turn out instead to be the work of a demented serial killer), isn't it? One of the few times I've ever wished there was an afterlife, if only so Cornell Wilde, Ardel Wray, Jacques Tourneur and Val Lewton can deliver the eternal beatdown Bruce Jones so richly deserves. Awful.

MANHUNTER #22: Well, it's off to the quarter bins I go--I found the first One Year Later issue compelling (although not really enough to read the second issue, I admit it) and I dug this issue, too. With its emphasis on humor and the interaction of a wide supporting cast, this book kinda reminds me of She-Hulk, and also of Marvel books from the '70s where the narrative was kept aloft by the buoyancy of all the subplots. Oh sure, it's too late now but I thought this was highly OK and will be kinda sorry to see it go.

MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #1: Last week, I vowed to read Jeff Parker's all-ages work for Marvel. This week, I vow to continue to do so...as long as it's not Avengers. Admittedly, this is probably not Parker's fault as just about everything about this issue screamed "revised pitch for our animation department" from the set-up of an endless number of robot enemies for future Saturday morning bash-ups to the incredibly weird line-up (you can all but hear the Ted Knight voice intone: "Popular person! Black person! Other popular person! Iconic person! Female person! These are...The Avengers!") Sub-Eh, but sadly that's pretty much all anyone expects of Marvel's all-ages line so, I dunno, maybe it actually should be rated higher or something.

MARVEL LEGACY 1970S HANDBOOK: As you can imagine, for an old school Marvel fanboy like myself, this was pure chewing satisfaction. Pretty much an excuse to show off some great covers and make some easy and amusing cheap shots at some of the sillier Marvel concepts or dangling plot threads left dangling to this day. (As the only remaining fan on the planet of Skull The Slayer, I was delighted to see an entry on Slithicus or whatever the hell his name was). Expensive for such cheap thrills, but I enjoyed it. Very much OK.

MOON KNIGHT #2: Last issue's ultra slow-mo action sequence had that neat little reversal at the end but this one didn't even do that--it just dragged things out. Far from horrible--I like Finch's art and Huston's convinced me that he gets the character--but next issue better get things out of first gear or we're in trouble. OK.

SUPERMAN BATMAN #25: If these had shipped on time...if we'd gotten twenty-five issues of this title in just a hair over two years, I probably would be lauding this run for being a fun, dumb ride (like I did when I reviewed the first five or so issues). But this was a fucking mess, a script apparently hacked out between conference calls and or waiting for the restaurant valet to get the Lexis, that also had the gall to congratulate itself on its many "accomplishments." Really, really disappointing, even for fans of the nonsensical. Awful.

PICK OF THE WEEK: BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #4 was pretty cool stuff. And it all shipped on time! (I think.) Yay!

PICK OF THE WEAK: SUPERMAN BATMAN #25. Say what you will about Bruce Jones, he doesn't have the nerve (as of yet) to pass off a slice of dried out ham on moldy bread as a five star meal. But not only will Mr. Loeb, he'll also take himself the liberty of writing in a 25% tip on your bill because he found his service to be impeccable.

TRADE PICK: CASTLE WAITING HC is a tremendously gorgeous volume. But I thought it had been solicited as complete? Maybe I misunderstood. It and KRAZY & IGNATZ 1937-1938 were the only volumes that caught my fancy this week. (Well, and that awesome James Bama cover on ILLUSTRATION MAGAZINE #16, but that's not a trade, is it?)

MANGA FIX: I have a pick, but I don't really have my thoughts collected about it and it's not anything recent. Let me get back to you next week on this one.

Tomorrow: SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT PILGRIM! Or, alternatively, Friday. But more likely than not, tomorrow.

52 week 1 (via Hibbs) & shipping this week

52 WEEK 1: Well, I'll be the odd man out on this one. Perhaps I'm just able to compartmentalize my thinking a little more than Jeff or Graeme, but (except for the first two pages, where they kind of force the point) I was able to divorce my brain from INFINITE CRISIS pretty easily and look at this comic on its own merits. The first thing I like was the "re-compressed" story-telling -- there's a lot of characters in here, and a lot of things going on, and I thought this was agreeably dense.

I also liked the "heroic structure" -- we have 2 characters that have bottomed out (Montoya, Ralph), a hero who lost his way (Booster), an anti-hero (Black Adam), an unalloyed hero (Steel... heh, unalloyed), and a question mark (The Question) -- this is a lot of potentially juicy character arcs as each comes to "Heroism" from a different place.

That 52 appears to be more about character than event is, to me, the real selling point of the book, and, while, sure, it is a 52 week "event", I think this may be a balm for "event storytelling" if they keep this kind of character-driven focus.

I'll happily stipulate that this isn't a comic for the ages -- it probably won't win any Eisners (though I can see it being nominated for Covers, or, possibly, publication design), but as a reason to come into the comic book store each week for the next year, well, it seemed like a worthy start to me.

If there are problems, they come down to continuity ("How/why did he..."), some waste (those first two pages would have been better with a little exposition, I think), and a better "cliffhanger" (the issue kinda just stopped), but, all things considered, and not being a cynical bastard for just one minute, I'll go with a tentative (though lowish) GOOD for this first issue.

Here's what's shipping this week:

100 BULLETS #72 2000 AD #1484 2000 AD #1485 52 WEEK #2 A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #34 (A) ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THEBOY WONDER #4 ANGEL SCRIPTBOOK #3 ANNIHILATION NOVA #2 (OF 4) AQUAMAN SWORD OF ATLANTIS #42 BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #205 BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #4 (OF 4) BETTY & VERONICA SPECTACULAR #74 BITE CLUB VAMPIRE CRIME UNIT #2 (OF 5) BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #113 BOMB QUEEN #4 (OF 4) CAPTAIN AMERICA #18 CONAN #28 CYBERFORCE #3 DMZ #7 DONALD DUCK AND FRIENDS #340 DORK TOWER #33 FALLEN ANGEL IDW #5 (OF 5) FEAR AGENT #4 FELL #5 GODLAND #10 GREEN ARROW #62 HAUNT OF HORROR EDGAR ALLAN POE #1 (OF 3) JACK STAFF #10 JEREMIAH HARM #3 JUGHEAD #173 MAJESTIC #17 MAN-BAT #2 (OF 5) MANHUNTER #22 MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #1 MARVEL LEGACY 1970S HANDBOOK MICKEY MOUSE AND FRIENDS #289 MOON KNIGHT #2 MS MARVEL #3 NEW MANGAVERSE #5 (OF 5) RED SONJA CLAW DEVILS HANDS #3 (OF 4) RETRO ROCKET #2 (OF 4) REX MUNDI #18 ROBIN #150 SCOOBY DOO #108 SGT ROCK THE PROPHECY #5 (OF 6) SHADOWPACT #1 SIMPSONS COMICS #118 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #162 STAR WARS REBELLION #2 SUPERMAN BATMAN #25 TALENT #1 (OF 4) TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #11 TRANSFORMERS GENERATIONS (IDW) #3 ULTIMATE X-MEN #70 WOLVERINE ORIGINS #2 WONDERLAND #1 X-MEN #186 X-MEN FAIRY TALES #1 (OF 4)

Books / Mags / Stuff ANIMATION MAGAZINE JUNE 2006 #161 BACK ISSUE #16 BEAR VOL 2 DEMONS TP BLACK PANTHER BAD MUTHA TP BLURRED VISION VOL 1 GN CAPTAIN AMERICA WINTER SOLDIER VOL 2 PREMIERE HC CASTLE WAITING HC COMIC CREATORS ON X MEN SC CONAN VOL 3 TOWER OF THE ELEPHANT & STORIES HC FAMILY GUY VOL 1 GN (OF 3) FORTEAN TIMES #210 FRANK MILLERS SIN CITY LIBRARY II HC HOTWIRE COMIX AND CAPERS GN ILLUSTRATION MAGAZINE #16 JUXTAPOZ JUNE 2006 VOL 14 #6 KRAZY & IGNATZ 1937-1938 SHIFTING SANDS DUSTS CHEEK POWDERED LEES TOY REVIEW APR 2006 #163 PHANTOM LEGACY GN VIDEO WATCHDOG JAN 2006 #125 WALT DISNEYS VACATION PARADE #3 WAR FIX HC WINSOR MCCAY VOL 7 EARLY WORKS WOLVERINE CLASSIC VOL 3 TP X-FILES VOL 3 TP X-MEN FIRESTAR DIGEST TP X-MEN POSTER BOOK Y THE LAST MAN VOL 7 PAPER DOLLS TP

This week's ASSHAT is a tie -- either JACK STAFF #10, which should have arrived in, uh, September? Or the JUST-less-late,-but-FAR-worse-because-it-missed-Christmas of the SIN CITY LIBRARY v2 boxed set. Fuck, that's a REPRINT, too!

What did you think?

-B

Crab & Crab Again: Jeff's Reviews of 05/10 Books...

Yeah, sorry, I just don't know what it is, but I haven't been too crazy with the comic book love lately and I don't know why that it is. Part of it is probably "kid in the candy store" syndrome. By the time Hibbs came in yesterday (around 2:00), I'd already read all the new books I'd wanted, and even thought there was some pretty decent stuff, yet when he asked me about the week's books, I was all.... "Meh."

Two things that aren't meh: Guitar Hero, which generous reader and snark king Mojo was kind enough to lend to me, and Wheeler's awesome list of Marvel's 50 Best Characters (link cribbed from Spurge). The former is a game for the PS2 which lets a rhythm-impaired ninny like myself slink around the living room mangling "Smoke on the Water" and "Ziggy Stardust" on a guitar-sized controller (to the almost-exquisite looks of horror from my wife). The latter is a palliative to my mid-season blahs about superhero books, caputuring the grandeur and the goofiness in exactly the right doses, e.g.:

46. Swarm, Fritz von Meyer Created by Bill Mantlo and John Byrne. Swarm has appeared in comics only a scant handful of times, yet he has massive cult appeal. To understand why, there's just one thing you need to know about Swarm: He's a Nazi made of radioactive bees. Shakespeare only wishes he'd come up with stuff this good.

Ahhh, that hits the spot, doesn't it? (His entries on Beta Ray Bill, The Sub-Mariner and Doctor Stranger are even better.)

As for the books:

52 WEEK #1: After the face-plant of Infinite Crisis #7, I lost some enthusiasm for it. Contrary to what any marketing plan on Earth would tell you, I just kinda wanted a month or something before the next mega-event, but the DCU has reached Ultra-Theme-Park mode, where there's no lines because all the rides run together, and if you need to barf, just lean wayyy out of the car to avoid splashing your fellow riders and pray you don't get your skull stove in.

But I picked this book up with at least a little optimism and regretted putting it down with slightly less. For one thing, two of the main characters seem very, very different from how I remember them--last time I saw Ralph at the end of Identity Crisis, he had patched up his life (in admittedly a potentially psychopathic way) by continuing his good-natured chatty relationship with his dead wife, and the last time I saw Booster Gold (somewhere in IC) he'd gotten serious when his best friend died and managed to use his information of the future to help win some crucial battles. Here in issue #1 of 52, Ralph's a suicidal wreck (because he also lost his house?) and Booster's back to the role of happy-go-lucky shill, having to be reminded to shed a tear for everyone's losses even though, again, he lost his closest friend at the start of all the craziness.

I mean, on the one hand, I don't really care--I thought the ending with Ralph in Identity Crisis was, like the ending of The Killing Joke, so off-note as to be geniunely disturbing, and selfish boob Booster is more interesting and provides a stronger narrrative thrust to this issue than newly serious Booster would have--but on the other hand, isn't the point of daisy-chaining all these events together to make you feel like the same set of people are undergoing a continuing set of events and changes?

There were things I liked, mind you--the Montoya and Black Adam scenes, while really nothing new, were okay, and then there's the Question who I'm always glad to see (even though I should probably know better by now)--and I honestly do appreciate the amibition of the whole idea, but if this is as good as it's going to get (assuming the writers and artists had the most lead time on the first issue than they will on the subsequent ones) I can't imagine I'm going to be sitting here a year from now feeling like I really got my hundred-plus bucks worth.

But I could be wrong. I really, really hope so. Eh.

ANNIHILATION SUPER SKRULL #2: Seems less like a comic book and more like a folded and stapled antibody squirted out of an internal organ of Marvel Comics somewhere: designed to attack anyone looking for decent art, writing, and/or a title character/concept that makes even a little bit of sense, this book will help innoculate our industry from those pesky civilians with it insular Awfulness.

CABLE DEADPOOL #28: Because he did so much work for Marvel in the early '90s, I associate Fabian Nicieza's work with mindless dreck, but it's been clear for a while my bias is pretty much utterly wrong--this issue has some actual insights about the nature of governments and revolutions that, while far from revelatory, make it stand out from the majority of the superhero work out there and reminds me of the stuff Marvel used to turn out at its best: material with some actual thoughts about the world going on between the fight scenes and the punchlines. Good.

EX MACHINA #20: BKV has crafted a perfect niche for himself by telling stories that excel at really keen little touches--like a bit of historical research, or clever dialogue, or this issue's bit about the slave/master relationship between a radio bomb and the transmitter--to the point where the reader doesn't sweat the small stuff like plot or the occasionally huge gap between intention and effect. (Did any reader anywhere have any attachment whatsoever to Journal? And if so, how?) Good, but in that way that really charming people can be, in that they don't really need to do much to win you over.

FATE OF THE ARTIST SC: Really should be reviewed in the trade section, but since First Second launched all six titles on the same weekend (and then nothing for another six months! Just like a real comic book company! Woot!) and Graeme's review said everything I would've said (and, of course, said it better) I might as well hit it here so I can review another First Second book in the Trade section.

Fate Of The Artist is not only far and away the release of the week but at this point in time, it's the release of the year, and, I think, the best book Campbell's released in about a decade. When I first read the review copy a few months back, the book struck me as ineffably sad (although streaked through with rueful humor) as the artist prepares himself for his inevitable fate by ruminating on artists dead and forgotten, or remembered but not for their work, all while recounting his family's exasperated recollections of his absent-minded, pointlessly specific, self-amused artistic ways. I thought the book full of regrets that were twisted about, like ballon animals, in an effort to amuse.

But rereading the book yesterday, what caught me was how deeply funny it was, starting with the hilariously bold conceit of composing a self-elegy--Lycidas as written by...Lycidas!--and moving on through all the funny anecdotes, pastiche comic strips, that damn dog Monty, etc. Through all of it, there's an appreciation of how funny life can be, even at its most frustrated and unfulfilled, and that appreciation is infectious, giving the work not only the most difficult of emotional victories, a love of life that feels genuine yet unsentimental, but also something unique--a comforting sense of dread. Finishing The Fate of The Artist, I realized that if I was lucky, I would get to deal with sorrows, regrets, fears, fights and alienation, and if I was smart, I'd look forward to all of it.

As I said, it's the release of the week and quite possibly the year. Excellent work, and highly recommended.

FIRESTORM THE NUCLEAR MAN #25: I was 98% Marvel fanboy until sometime in the very early '80s, so I've never really given two poops about Firestorm (just as, I would bet someone who was 98% DC fanboy during that time could barely give half a poop about Nova). So I found this issue OK, albeit scientifically wonky. But the scene where Jason is able to briefly communicate with Dr. Stein makes me think this book is being sold to fans of the charcter with the rather depressing carrot of "Just keep reading and we promise we'll give you the character you want to read about! Someday! Maybe!"

MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR #12: I was reading this book when Hibbs came in and he said, "You know, looking at that cover, I knew you'd beeline right for it." And it's true: The Human Torch chasing a flying hot rod driven by Dr. Doom? How could I pass it up? But also, after heaping praise of Jeff Parker's work in the Marvel Romance Redux books, I was acting like a stupid snobby fanboy bonehead for not checking out his all-ages work.

And while not as great as the cover (mainly because it's a Doombot piloting the flying hot rod, not Dr. Doom himself), "Doom, Where's My Car?" is funnier and more enjoyable than all of the JMS issues of FF I've read so far. And it's got the Thing punching things out with a giant golden gorilla, which is an in-joke, the terminally old-school readers like myself can enjoy. Good and I'm interested in checking future issues of this out (and maybe even a digest if Parker has stories in those, too).

NIGHTWING #120: It's the hat trick of Crap: every issue, against all odds, is even worse than the last. This issue has Nightwing losing his shit and fighting with Jason Todd on the catwalk (a phrase which one can't even type without hearing that awful Right Said Fred song in one's brain--perhaps a deliberate bit of meme warfare on Jones' part to avoid bad reviews being written) which the entire fashion industry of New York City loves and blah, blah, blah. A comic so bad I think I actually blacked out before I finished reading it--or else it was so dull I can't remember. Anyway, impressively hideous work here, the type of stuff that makes you never want to look at a title again, no matter who's working on it. Ick.

SUPERMAN #652: A little pat--Lois's speech when she learns Clark's regained his powers was so flat and rote it made me think of the stuff you read on the back on cough medicine bottles--but the fight scene had a nice sense of tension and forethought to it. It's not great but it is Good, and I hope it can keep some zing to it now that things are getting back to "normal."

X-MEN DEADLY GENESIS #6: What can I tell ya? I liked it--it managed to push my old X-Men fanboy buttons solidly enough that I'm looking forward to the team taking on Uncanny--even though it had at least one pointless death too many for my tastes (apart from removing an annoying stereotype, why was it necessary for Vulcan to kill Banshee, exactly?). Still, Good.

WOLFSKIN #1: Didn't really pickle my pig's feet. It looks like Ellis walked into it with the question, "What would happen if you crafted a typical barbarian fantasy but turned the genre's inherent xenophobia on its head?" and walked out with the answer, "FOR IMMEDIATE DEPOSIT." The Ryp art looks lovely, as usual, although kinda strange, as if the colorist tried to keep the art from flattening out by wiping out some of the penlines. Eh.

PICK OF THE WEEK: See, why am I so demoralized? A lot of Good ratings this week and everything. I'll go with X-MEN DEADLY GENESIS #6 because I was expecting lameness from the mini and I was pleasantly wrong.

PICK OF THE WEAK: NIGHTWING #120, as Bruce Jones continues his campaign of making me regret I ever liked his work.

TRADE PICK: Well, duh, FATE OF THE ARTIST. But I also read Joann Sfar's VAMPIRE LOVES and thought it was really funny and sweet look at the lovelifes (lovelives?) of callow phatasmagorical youth--imagine Charles Addams drawing a Geoffrey Brown book and you're halfway there--and a great purchase that's also worth your time and coin.

MANGA FIX: Monster, Vol. 2 does a truly impressive job of letting the air out of the premises's tires as nearly everything I liked about the first volume--the hospital politics, the creepy cause and effect between Doc Tenma's goodness and the gruesome murders, the ambiguity of the killer's identity--gets tossed aside in favor of what I'm dreading is a Fugitive-Meets-The-Silence-of-the-Lambs approach as Doc Tenma takes it on the lam to chase the serial killer he feels responsible for. Will the next fifteen volumes merely be Tenma running into emotionally damaged people and helping them learn how to love life again while chased at every turn by Inspector Lunge and chasing Johan? Christ, I sure hope not: growing up in the '70s all but burned that formula into my forebrain!

That said? Possibly because I enjoy looking at Urasawa's drawings of jowly old men almost as much as Urasawa enjoys drawing them, I still liked this. But I can only hope that Urasawa throws something into Volume 3 that'll make up for all the squandered potential.

Speaking of squandered potential, I thought Iron Wok Jan had become ultra-formulaic but the latest volume (#18) really spices things up with Jan and the gang dealing with a Chinese cooking tong and its ultra-mysterious leader. The art seems to have lost a lot of its nuance (certainly the reproduction has) but, weirdly, I think it lends makes the storytelling weirdly compelling. (In some places, it almost looks like Don Simpson is ghosting the art, and there's some really crude zipatone effects that are really eye-catching. And I think at one point somebody's breasts have motion blur, which was pretty funny.) Plus, I learned that eel is never served as sashimi because its blood is poisonous. In short, Iron Wok Jan #18 is still ultra-formulaic, but it's one step closer to being ultra-fun again and I, in my crabby, crabby way, couldn't be happier.

And you?

51 Weeks To Get Better: Graeme reviews that 52 book no-one's talking about.

By now, everyone knows the pitch for 52, right? It’s a world without Superman, a world without Batman, a world without Wonder Woman… but not a world without heroes. But here’s something else that it’s a world without: Introductions. This might be somewhere where my inner DC fanboy counts against me, but I felt as if all of the main characters in this issue, with the exceptions of Booster Gold and Black Adam, didn’t get anything close to a proper introduction here, being reduced to stock roles (Steel is the responsible hero, Montoya the self-destructive ex-cop, Ralph Dibny the suicidal grieving widower) with vague dialogue that alludes to past storylines and series without properly explaining them – This might be something that’s going to be dealt with in later issues, and with a weekly schedule and 52 issues to do it in, that’s definitely a viable option for the writers – giving the book, for me, a feeling of inaccessibility for anyone who hasn’t read Gotham Cental, Identity Crisis and Infinite Crisis. Without those books, I feel as if certain scenes would feel flat and uninvolving, but I say that as someone who has read those books, so what do I know? As someone who has read those books, then: I’m not convinced. On the first read through, it seemed pretty underwhelming (and also shorter than the average book – it’s not, however, I checked); I’m not sure what I was expecting from this first issue, but it wasn’t the slow burn beginning that this provided for the most part. On second (and third) readings, the relatively quiet start makes more sense, as the characters are presumably dealing with the apparent end of the world that Infinite Crisis was, and the odd pacing doesn’t annoy so much. The multiple author model, which works well in a couple of places – there are some nice scene transitions in an otherwise confusing opening (Why is Renee in the same bar in the same clothes for three days running? When some guy there makes a comment about “If the roads are open,” does that mean she’s been trapped there by something? Has Ralph really been going back to the ruins of his house for cell phone calls about missing superheroes for three days straight?) – and allows for the fun guessing game of who wrote what (My guess: Grant Morrison definitely did the main Booster Gold scenes, or else someone else can do very good fake Grant dialogue. Mark Waid’s doing Ralph Dibny. Greg Rucka is handling Montoya, and Geoff Johns is doing Steel and Black Adam, at least in this issue), but it felt as if it was written by committee. I enjoyed the Booster Gold scenes a lot – Grant (or whoever is writing those scenes this issue) manages to make the character cynical and a schmuck yet somehow someone fun, and his panic upon realizing that he really doesn’t know what the future holds gives him an interesting plot to follow for the next year or so. It’s just that… well, Booster’s scenes are more or less all of the meat in the issue, everything else either being vague hints of what’s to come (Being an Elongated Man fan, the potential Ralph Dibny mystery interests me, although the solicits for upcoming issues has me very, very nervous for what’s coming up there) or apparent generic filler (Most of the Steel scenes, which I’m guessing are going to amount to something more than “It’s tough to be a hero. I’m a hero. I’m a good man. It’s tough” later on at some point).

Even within those other scenes, there were too many plot strands that didn’t tie together well – the Black Adam scene in particular stood out as having nothing to do with anything else, although the Montoya scenes also felt as if they’d come from a different book – and lessened what could’ve been a stronger issue by diluting the focus on the immediate aftermath of Infinite Crisis within the superhero community that the Booster, Steel and Ralph scenes had. It wouldn’t have killed anyone to have pushed the start of some of the plots out to the second or third week in order to have had a more coherent first issue, surely?

(Then again, I’m also of the opinion that the two page silent opening scenes, taking a visual cue from the final pages of all of the last pre-One Year Later issues of the DCU books, was a waste of space that could’ve been better spent on some kind of recap for new readers bringing them up to speed on the cast and context of the series, so obviously I’m on a different train of thought from DC Editorial here…)

Visually, Joe Bennett thankfully provides stronger pencils here than he did in last week’s Infinite Crisis #7, even if he only achieves something that’s pleasant but unspectacular to look at. It would’ve been interesting to see what an artist with a stronger personal style could’ve done with the big superhero memorial service at the end of the issue, for example, but I think there’s a bar being set here: Workmanlike but reliable means deadlines getting hit and that’s what this series is going to be all about.

As with last week’s Civil War, there’s an editorial at the back of the book where the editorial head honcho pats himself on the back about how important and groundbreaking this new book is; in this case, Dan Didio calls 52 “the monumental DC Comics series that redefined what readers would and should expect from comics,” which is the kind of statement that he might regret making 52 weeks from now, or even sooner if ship dates start being missed on a regular basis. Still, whether he’s right or wrong is a question that can only be answered at this time next year. This time this year, all I know is that 52’s first week is pretty much Eh when considered out of context of all the hype, and kind of Crap when you sit it next to what we’ve been told it was for the last few months. Either way, it’s a missed opportunity to catch new readers with a new method and frequency of mainstream superhero comics, and even if things do get better in later issues, how many people will want to start a series on Week Twelve?

(I now fully expect Hibbs to have loved this book, just to be make me look grumpier than ever…)

Next week: Hopefully more things come out that I want to review. This week, if I can find the time to write it up, reviews of all of the other First Second books that came out this week, because even though Eddie Campell’s Fate of The Artist is both my Pick of The Week and Trade of The Week, the other books are worth looking through as well...

INFINITE CRISIS #7, a review

INFINITE CRISIS #7: Otherwise known as: The Issue That Outstayed It's Welcome. I read IC #7, and thought, "Holy cow, that was bad!" That didn't seem like it could be right, so an hour later, I read it again. Same thing. Then I decided to read #1-6 again, to see where it went off the rails -- and, no, I liked those issues to greater or lesser extents. And it made me understand I didn't like #7 because the main story should have STOPPED at the end of #6, leaving this just for wrapup and explanation.

In some ways this issue is perfectly encapsulated by the double page spread on pages 2 & 3 -- everyone is sort of just standing around and posing, heroes and villains all mixed together with no difference between which one is who and why or what they're doing. That sketchy background, looking half-finished, and hastily colored, as if someone in production said, "FedEx is about to leave the lobby, I don't care if it's finished, we have to ship it NOW!" That rushed, confusing, muddled feeling is how I felt about this comic.

I understand that some of the thrill of the super-hero comic is in the big, epic battle -- witness the scene in IDENTITY CRISIS where Deathstroke takes on the entire JLA -- but the corollary to that is that you need to be able to tell what's going on! Between pages where hard-to-identify characters maim other hard-to-identify characters and the hugely missed opportunities (I winced when Batman confronts Deathstroke, the scene cuts away, then cuts back to Batman's "Hah, I won!" without showing a fight we might have all actually wanted to see; or how about the cover's promise of Robin vs Bizarro?) this was absolutely unsatisfying on the action score.

Reading #7 after immediately reading #1-6, the whole Every Villain Hits Metropolis thing is completely out of left field -- it makes no sense in the context of the story presented to you unless you also read the VILLIANS UNITED special. I really resent that as both a reader and a retailer: it isn't playing fair with the audience.

It is also used to very poor effect, and lots of illogic -- like on the 2-3 spread where you see Sivana as one of the combatants. A 70-year old man whose greatest power is to say "heh, heh, heh"? Yeah, he'll last 6 seconds against Aquaman. Or how about the big money shot with Doomsday and the Supermen? Where'd Doomsday COME from? Sure, they busted him out of his cell at Riker's, right?

But if there's a core single problem with this issue, it's Superboy Prime. Simply put, he's not an interesting enough antagonist to have him come back, Jason Vorhees-style, again and again. His arc through the first six went well enough, but he too should have perished when the tower was destroyed last issue (or, rather, he probably should never have come out of the Speed Force in the first place)

Speaking of that, WTF on the whole Speed Force thing? Up until now, it hasn't been portrayed as a "place" that someone could be "imprisoned", nor as one where time "passes" -- but Bart Allen ages to the point where people mistake him for Wally, and Superboy Prime isn't now "Superman Prime"?

I also really could have done without the gory beating to death of the GA Superman. It's not so much about the action (though, given that "Earth Prime" was originally meant to be OUR earth, which makes Superboy Prime US, beating to death the Golden Age is probably an interesting [if unintended] metaphor for comics today), as the DEPICTION of that action. Why do there have to be red red blood splatters everywhere? Why do, for that matter, do we have to see the effect of the acid on Alexander Luthor's face? It's unnecessary, and I think it's a real mistake that you really shouldn't hand this series to, say, an eight year old. Superhero comics are supposed to be for kids, too!

A significant part of the ultimate failure or success of this book is wrapped around the "Big 3" and how their arcs parse. We've a mixed report in that case. The good news is that Batman's arc works really well, and taken as a whole through the 7 issues was the one shining spot of this series, breaking him down as the High Asshat of the DCU to someone who is going to wrestle his demons with his friend's help.

For Superman, I'm a little iffy. The charge leveled at him was "inaction", of not being inspiring, and so on. Except, that charge doesn't really stick in the first place so any purported change in the character is muted at best.

Finally, Wonder Woman's arc is a complete mess. In issue #1 she's apparently going to kill Mongul... well, just cuz, I guess. But that's a completely different circumstance than the killing of Max Lord - that was staged in such a way as to have been the right thing to do -- she didn't have any choice, and she didn't seem to relish it, or be in any way anything other than pragmatic about it. No, what's at issue here is her public perception of her actions. I mean, forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't she a fugitive from international justice? As well as no longer an Ambassador, since her nation is no more? We were shown that the public seems to fear and hate her, yet at the end of #7 no one is talking about any of this, and lalalalala, she's just blithely hanging around the docks with Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne, in front of the entire crew of Bruce's steamer. Mm.

Her "It's not worth it" rings utterly false as the epiphany for her -- of course one doesn't slaughter a helpless and defeated opponent; but that was never her issue in the first place. Regardless of anything else that happens, and whether the friendship can "heal", I made my disbelief saving throw that Clark and Bruce wouldn't insist Diana immediately deal with the charges, and not go off and "find herself".

I also kinda have a problem with the "new earth" concept -- first off the original CRISIS showed how well it works to retroactively change backstories in an interconnected universe, and we've had 20 years building a new continuity, and now it's in question again? Ugh. I also find this problematic because it is accompanied with the One Year Jump, leaving me felling hit at both sides. I sure hope 52 is really good.

For the most part, INFINITE CRISIS held up to what it was meant to be -- a big, 'splody universe-spanning thingy. Read as a chunk, I thought #1-6 were a decent example of that kind of a story. Overall, I'd probably give the first six a very high OK, maybe reaching a low GOOD at points. But, ugh, #7 was AWFUL, sorry.

Maybe more later....

-B

Never underestimate the lure of bitching pointlessly: Graeme's review of two books from 5/3.

I really should be outside and enjoying the sunshine, but there’s so much bile in my heart and two big books to write about, this week… CIVIL WAR #1: I admit it, I think I may be genetically disposed to disliking this book – The pre-release hype advertising it as something “important” beyond a superhero crossover, the subtitle “A Marvel Comics Event In Seven Parts”, my general dislike for Mark Millar’s writing… the idea of me enjoying this was somewhat of a distant hope. And yet, somehow, it still feels like a letdown.

The basic idea behind the series – Regular Americans turn on superheroes after a disaster, and force government to draft legislation requiring heroes to become government agents or else – is sound enough, but the execution doesn’t work for me in this issue. Part of it may have to do with the fact that there are no surprises here; not only has the pre-release publicity told us everything that happens here (including who’s leading the two opposing “sides”, making the last page reveal especially flat), but the first few pages of the book (one of the two action sequences, and arguably the most important pages in the first issue) have seen print in Wizard, Marvel Previews and New Avengers : Illuminati already. How could anything have any real impact with that amount of information available before it appeared? But even if I’d known nothing about the series, there would still be all of my usual problems with Millar’s writing…

For one thing, Millar has this tendency to write stories that only really work if you accept that everyone involved is a bit of a dick. That’s the case here – no-one seems incredibly sympathetic, especially Captain America and Iron Man in the aftermath of the destruction of Stamford. Instead of being horrified by the disaster itself, they’re horrified by what they see as a failure in the New Warriors’ judgement: “The FEMA chief said there could be eight or nine hundred casulaties all dead for a stupid TV reality show.” “They should have called us, Cap. Speedball knew the New Warriors were out of their league.” (Later on, Tony Stark repeats this view of the accident being less an accident than a failure of judgement, telling the greiving mother of one of the dead, “The New Warriors’ recklessness had nothing to do with me.” Mind you, he was just at a funeral where the priest shared his viewpoint: “…And so we ask you, Lord, for Your mercy. Not only for the souls of the children who perished, but for the super-people whose carelessness caused this tragedy.” Apparently, the idea that this was all a terrible accident and that the (dead) New Warriors aren’t to blame for someone else blowing up hundreds of kids is an entirely alien one to everyone in this series. At no point does anyone really attempt to blame the bad guy who actually did the blowing up, interestingly enough.) There are other bits of characterisation that just seem incredibly odd and callous, as well – Why does the Invisible Woman say “The secret identity thing isn’t such a big deal. The Fantastic Four have been public since the very beginning, and it’s never been a serious concern” when, a page earlier, we’re told that her brother is in the hospital as a result of being attacked because his identity was publicly known? Doesn’t she consider that a serious concern? – and the feeling throughout the whole thing is very much that the characters are only acting that way at any given moment to serve the purpose of the plot.

Of course, if Millar’s dialogue was any better, then perhaps the characters wouldn’t seem to be so obviously plot pawns. More than any other big name writer around these days with the potential exception of Bendis, Millar’s dialogue relies on a number of tricks and tics, and those come into play a lot in this first issue (He uses a lot of Scottishisms, which I always find amusing; there’s always at least one character who’ll call another character “big man” in a Millar book at one point). The worst examples are the conversation between Captain America and SHIELD director Maria Hill, with both characters lapsing into generic-Millar-tough-speak and each calling a team of soldiers “boys” within four panels, and the fact that two different characters refer to the destruction of Stamford as “the straw that broke the camels back” because, apparently, there are no other metaphors available to show how important it is in the Marvel Universe.

Not all of the blame can be laid at Mark Millar’s feet, of course; for a script that apparently went through eight drafts, you’d have hoped that editor Tom Brevoort would’ve caught some of the problematic dialogue, or even that there are more than 23 heroes at the Baxter Building despite the dialogue that states that number. The bad feeling that I got from the weak story wasn’t helped by Joe Quesada’s two page hypetastic editorial at the back of the book (“Here at MARVEL, we work very hard to make sure that ALL of our blockbuster events are NEW-reader-accessible, and CIVIL WAR is no exception.” That’s why I’m listing the trade paperbacks you should buy to get introduced to the main characters!), or the four page “There are our crossovers” advert afterwards.

It’s not all bad, of course; Steve McNiven and Dexter Vines art is pretty interesting, especially at points where facial expressions get distorted as if everything is grand opera or silent cinema, and Morry Hollowell’s coloring is pretty great. It’s just mostly bad. Crap.

INFINITE CRISIS #7: Meanwhile, the DC Comics Event in Seven Parts reaches its conclusion, and… it’s not so good. For one thing, I’m glad that it made its (second) shipping date and all, but with eleven artists credited, it’s the weakest issue of the series in terms of visuals, especially Joe Bennett’s pages – that final double page spread of the One Year Later DC Universe has some very, very poor anatomy going on – which make me very nervous about what 52 is going to look like. But, as with the rest of the series, this is Geoff Johns’ baby, and his writing is what dooms this final issue. There’s simply too much going on here, and not enough space for everything to be explained or make sense. When did Alex Luthor come up with this plan B? And, for that matter, how did he and Superboy get to Metropolis from whatever Pole they were at before without anyone noticing? What happened to Doomsday? Continuity gets revised and it only gets a couple of lines? And Alex Luthor’s fate… What was that all about? I mean, okay, I get that it fits in with Superboy’s line from the start of the book about still being unable to tell the heroes and villains apart, and then Batman and Wonder Woman’s “Killing? Hey, heroes don’t dig that!” thing, but still… Why did it have to be the Joker? Wouldn’t it have made more sense, plotwise, for it just to be Lex Luthor? Putting the Joker in, especially with that crappy “You didn’t let the Joker play” line, feels like someone said “Hey, Geoff, can you make sure the Joker’s somewhere in the last issue? The kids love that Joker.”

All of that said, I liked something about this final issue. I liked the resolution of Batman’s midlife crisis (and that it was, essentially, “Okay, I’ll use a gun, y’bastard! Oh, no… wait… Aw, shit.”), and the Supermen/Superboy showdown was fun, as was the fact that Superboy Prime has become the new insane scheming badguy of the DCU, plotting his comeback (It never ends… It is an Infinite Crisis!). Splitting everything that happened here into two issues – or adding some more pages to this one – would’ve helped out here a lot, but there’s about as much good as there is bad about this issue, and overall, it’s been a fun series. But then, I’m a DC Fanboy, so my opinion may be more than a little bit skewed. Eh bordering on Okay, depending on how much I think about the rest of the series…

What with only reviewing two books this week, PICK OF THE WEEK and PICK OF THE WEAK should be kind of obvious… TRADE OF THE WEEK, however, would be Essential Classic X-Men volume 2, which was due out this week (I don’t think I saw it in the store, but I wasn’t really looking). Some of the first comics I ever read, back when Marvel UK had a two color (Black and blue) reprint book called “The Original X-Men,” you know…

Free Comic Books! I have read! For your education! Before you pick them up! Tomorrow! On Free Comic Book Day!

So, yeah, X-MEN / RUNAWAYS? It’s kind of Eh, which is both surprising and depressing. I’m a big fan of Brian K. Vaughan normally, but due to stagefright, deadline or editorial edict, he somehow managed to write a lead story for this book that’s devoid of any of his usual wit or even anything resembling an interesting plot: The Runaways meet the X-Men, they fight, and then they don’t. The end. It’s a waste of a lot of good characters and a potentially interesting situation, not to mention Skottie Young’s cartoony art. The other features in the book – a new Franklin Richards strip, a preview of the new Marvel Adventures: The Avengers book, and a recap of Ultimate Spider-Man to date – feel pretty much like the filler that they are. DC, meanwhile, fields two free books, both reprints: SUPERMAN / BATMAN #1 is, well, it’s Superman/Batman, which means that Jeph Loeb does the writing equivalent of speaking very loudly as if you are stupid while Ed McGuinness provides bouncy bright pop superhero art. It’s fun, and has origin-recap and easy-to-understand-plot action, but hardly essential (S/B didn’t hit its “What the fuck” stride until the second issue, when time-travelling Supermen tried to kill Batman with the Batmobile from the ‘60s TV show). JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #1 reads like a weak episode of the TV show, or alternately, a fill-in from a ‘70s issue of JLA; the plot is servicable, but lacks the humor or random guest-stars of the cartoon. S/B: Good, JLU: Okay, but one year I would love to DC put out something great as their free book. Imagine if they’d put together a bumper edition of Grant Morrison’s JLA Classified arc, for example… You’d still get the McGuinness art from S/B, but it’d be accompanied by crazy dumb action, all of the main DCU characters, and a lead into Seven Soldiers.

AMELIA RULES!: FUNNY STORY: I’ve never read any of this series before, but it’s well-done for what it is. Aimed at what used to be called tweenagers back when I was young, it manages to walk the fine line between avoiding patronizing its readers and avoiding depressing them. There are some fun running jokes and visual gags, but it’s not an overly comedic book – Imagine Gilmore Girls for kids, and you’re kind of there. Good.

ARCHIE’S 65TH ANNIVERSARY BASH: The Archie books are kind of reviewproof, and this one more than most, because there’s no real story. Archie gets upset about the prospect of moving, wanders around meeting the star of almost every other Archie title, cheers up upon discovering that he’s not moving after all, and then celebrates the 65th anniversary of his comic book. That last part is kind of weird; Archie starts staring at the reader and saying “What?! Our comics have been around for 65 years?!” in some uncomfortable fourth wall breaking move that almost freaked me out as much as some of the reader art at the back of the book. Eh, because, you know, what else can I say? It’s an Archie book.

BLUFF & TALES FROM A FORGOTTEN PLANET: Narwain preview two of their upcoming books in this glossy special that makes you… not exactly want to pick up those upcoming books. Bluff is the more successful of the two, a story of a stray dog and his flea friend trying to come to terms with a stereotypical American family as seen by Japanese creators Giovanni Masi and Yoshiko Watanabe. There isn’t an original joke in it, nor really any funny ones, but at least it’s not as bad as The Stellar Losers, the preview strip from Tales From A Forgotten Planet, which is just not good at all. You know that Sci-Fi show Tripping The Rift? The really appallingly unfunny one? Stellar Losers is much, much worse. Crap.

BONGO COMICS FREE-FOR-ALL!: Yes, it’s all reprint, but it’s worth picking up for the first panel alone. Possibly the only comic that recognizes that Free Comic Book Day is all about people who are already reading comics – because, really, who else would want to go into a comic book store on a Saturday when the sun is shining? – this collection of comic-centric Simpsons strips ploughs a narrow field very deeply. Or something. I’m kind of tempted to pick up a Simpsons book that costs money now, which may mean that they’ve succeeded with their nefarious ploy. Bastards! Evil evil bastards who do Good comics!

DARK HORSE’S STAR WARS AND CONAN FREEBIE BOOK: And, no, that’s not the real title, but I didn’t want to write STAR WARS/CONAN for some reason. Anyway, the Star Wars strip, taking place during the last movie, handily ends with a post-modern moment where the main character reviews his own story: “Routine - - About what we expected.” Except, in this non-Clone War world, “routine” is replaced by “bland”. Being medically immune to the charms of Conan, I feel entirely unequipped to pass judgement on what seems like a run-of-the-mill barbarianarama, although the Paul Lee/Dave Stewart art combo is very pretty indeed. The very definition of Eh, for me, but I’m really not the target audience for this kind of thing.

FUNNY BOOK #2: I like to pretend that the real title of this book is the full version of what it says at the top of the front cover: “The Fantagraphics Funny Book For Mature Readers,” because, really, that’s much better. Not that there’s much else about this book that could be much better, because any collection of humor stuff by people like Jason, Michael Kupperman and Mark Martin for no money whatsoever may be close to perfect in the world of comics for no money whatsoever. Very Good, and the stand-out for me is R. Kikuo Johnson’s one pager, which makes me want to rush out and buy everything else he’s ever done. Guess I should’ve paid attention to all that Night Fisher hype, then.

FREE SCOTT PILGRIM: You know those things that you love with far too much love for your own mental health? This is one of those things for me – It has almost everything that I love about Scott Pilgrim, and he fights multiple Lindsay Lohans. Well, kind of. Anyway, what else could you want? Excellent, and thankfully the back-up strip premiering Mignola-meets-Yo-Momma book, Fearless Griggs, doesn’t let the side down. Kate thought it was all kind of stupid, but that can only be a good sign.

FUTURE SHOCK: Image takes the easy way out, showing four page previews of upcoming issues of ongoing Image books. Considering two of those books are Spawn and Shadowhawk, it should probably be avoided unless you want to feel the desire to swear off comics for the rest of your life. Crap, because, dude. Four page previews? Not even complete stories? Lazy.

GI JOE: SIGMA 6 #1: I remember when GI Joe was about people in the army, but it seems that “Sigma 6” means “Really really like the Centurions cartoon when I was a kid”. In terms of writing and art, it’s very Saturday morning cartoon, even down to the unfunny joke endings with the bad guys humiliated. Eh, but somewhere there’re probably a million GI Joe fans waiting to tell me why I’m wrong.

MR. JEAN: Drawn and Quarterly’s offering is a strange mix of French sophistication and Moomins. The excerpts of Mr. Jean are reminiscent of what would happen if you mixed early-Alec Eddie Campbell and Rian Hughes (which is to say: gentle stories bemused by the way people act in relationships with stylish, slightly-retro art), but the real gem of the book is Jean creators’ Dupuy and Berberian’s autobio work about creating Mr. Jean, excerpted from the upcoming Maybe Later graphic novel… Excellent stuff, and well worth a look. The Moomin strip, on the other hand, is very strange and nostalgic for me; I grew up with the Moomins on TV, and even then they were somewhat unsettling.

OWLY: I’ve already moaned to Brian, Jeff and Nora about how much I dislike Owly, so I won’t repeat myself here. It’s nothing to do with Owly itself; it’s well-done and those who get it really like it, but… It’s so twee it makes my toes curl. I kind of liked the first book, but by midway through the second, I was wanting Owly to finally crack and stop helping every single other animal that comes his way. It’s a cruel world out there, Owly! Wake up and smell the coffee, ya dumb owl! Stop smiling all the time and eat that damn worm like you know you want to! DOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT! Ahem. Okay, probably. I don’t know.

THE PREPOSTEROUS VOYAGES OF IRONHIDE TOM: The bastard son of a drunken sailor and a hurricane, Ironhide Tom is a stickman pirate with a penchant for exclamations like “Cowpies!” and “Nightsoil!” when he gets in misadventures. Which, apparently, happens a lot. It’s very stupid and very, very funny – Probably my favorite of all of the FCBD books this year. Excellent, and the source of a whole host of new cursewords.

TOKYOPOP SNEAKS: A nice little freebie trade, this one has the first chapter of three new OEL books that they’re putting out… which is kind of its downfall. The first two previews have exactly the same set-up (Kid in new school, doesn’t fit in) and stop before getting to what would presumably differentiate them from each other, giving the book a feeling of “Oh, Tokyopop has a generic house plot for new series” (The third preview, however, is for Sea Princess Azuri which unsurprisingly is about a Sea Princess and doesn’t have any new school horror whatsoever). Being a dirty Westerner, Alex DeCampi’s Kat and Mouse is the story that worked best for me, but even that felt uncertain and a bit forced – Definitely different from her Smoke series from IDW, so she should be applauded for her versatility, but not as good as Smoke, either. In terms of value for (no) money, however, it’s the best package. Good for the format, Okay for the content.

TRANSFORMERS: MORE PREVIEWS THAN MEET THE EYE: Somehow, something has gone so wrong with the world that there are four different Transformer series being previewed here, and yet each one reads like it’s been written by Chris Claremont’s robotic twin. I used to love the Transformers when I was a kid, and yet reading these previews is like trying to learn a foreign language by flipping through a French version of Ulysses. Eh, and I mean that in the sense of “Eh?”

VIPER COMICS PRESENTS #1: Josh Howard’s Dead@17 gets a movie-trailer-style preview (lots of disconnected images with a character’s vague narration) that fails to tell me anything about what it’s all actually about… Something of a running theme with a lot of the FCBD preview books this year, but personified by all four strips in here. Of the shorter previews, Museum of Terror and Emily Edison offer something resembling bemusement, and something called A Bit Haywire felt more than a little forced. I’m sure that if I was about ten years younger and had never seen Buffy (or almost any mainstream pop culture for that matter), I’d like it more, but for now? Eh.

There’s also a Wizard freebie, which is best avoided unless you have a ghoulish curiosity about why they’d reprint last year’s freebie which was itself a non-updated reprint of their favorite trade paperbacks from a few years prior… There are actually a lot of other books available, if your retailer – who doesn’t get them for free, and therefore may have to make some terrible Sophie’s Choice type decisions about what makes the cut and what doesn’t – has somehow managed to pull in everything put out for this year’s event. A full list is here, but that list I’ve just run down is already a pile of comics heavy enough to knock out any burglars who creep into your house in the middle of the night, and isn’t that why we all want free comics? Exactly.

Guest Review: UNAUTHORIZED AND PROUD OF IT

Not that I'm going to do this very often, (but I thought once was ok) here's a guest P/review of a new film, reviewed by Peter Wong, author of the "Lost in Pictopia" column that runs in ONOMATOPOEIA. A longer version will appear in the next issue of CEO. -B

UNAUTHORIZED AND PROUD OF IT: TODD LOREN'S ROCK 'N' ROLL COMICS--(D: Ilko Davidov)--Boy wunderkind Todd Loren created Revolutionary Comics as a medium for melding his love of both rock and roll and comic books. Yet what would have been in theory a dream marriage of disreputable cultures turned into a nightmare...and Loren and the Revolutionary Comics staff thrived on it. Davidov's documentary does a solid job of portraying how this nightmare was self-inflicted on the rock and roll side. With the exception of Mojo Nixon's and Alice Cooper's bits, passable talking head footage discusses how much research and respect the Revolutionary Comics crew brought to creating their unauthorized rock biographies. Well, maybe the New Kids On The Block can be excepted from that categorization.

Yet it mattered little when the music business suits perceived that Loren's comics denied them their rightful tithing. By contrast, the weaker comics industry portions of "Unauthorized" never fully convey why Loren became a comics industry pariah. Loren's financial and emotional manipulation of his talent probably formed part of his bad reputation. But what were the other causes: egotism, homophobia, or something else? The film's Revolutionary Comics samples will not enhance Loren's work. Despite the frequent video animation and manipulation, one can't help noticing how visually unimpressive the samples are. Comics journalist Joe Sacco will not need to worry about competition.

On the other hand, Revolutionary Comics did launch the comics careers of such folks as Terry Dodson and Stuart Immonen. The comics line was also supported by Alice Cooper, Mojo Nixon, and Ice T. By the film's end, a viewer may feel Loren was a man who expanded the First Amendment importance of comic books...or an irritating swine...or a dear friend whose still unsolved murder possibly hints at police homophobia...or a successful schlockmeister. What one will not feel is indifferent. (Film screens 5/13 at 7 PM at The Women's Building in San Francisco as part of the S.F. Documentary Film Festival)

Arriving 5/3

Yet another sick week here -- this time it wasn't me though, it was Ben. Poor little guy. It started last Tuesday when something in his jaw swelled up like a golfball ("bacterial infection of the salivary gland" was the Dr's best guess -- though he was scared it could be Mumps, despite Ben being immunized). There is nothing in the universe -- NOTHING -- worse than a sick kid. Someone who is normally vivacious, and curious and loving and enthusiastic suddenly just sitting there like a lump, moaning in pain, where's there's virtually nothing you can actually DO for them.

It REALLY stinks.

Well, we put Ben on antibiotics, and wouldn't you know it, though it was very effective in making his cheek swelling go down, it ALSO killed all of the "good" bacteria in his belly, which gave us 4 solid days of diarrhea, which ain't no fun either. The worst part is that he didn't want to eat or drink ANYthing, and there is a serious risk of dehydration (like, to the point of hospitalization) if fluid comes out and out and out, and nothing goes back in. So we had to pin him down and FORCE him to eat yogurt and drink pedialyte. It is seriously no fun to have to force your baby that way, but the alternative is, what? needles at the hospital?

Anyway, as of this morning, Ben is back to normal (hurray!), but that's why I didn't write reviews last week. Well, actually, I did write some, but they were too hostile and whiny -- even for me! -- so I sent them off to the recycling bin.

Here's what's shipping this week:

2000 AD #1482 2000 AD #1483 A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #33 (A) ACTION COMICS #838 ALICE IN WONDERLAND #4 (OF 4) ANNIHILATION SILVER SURFER #2(OF 4) ARCHENEMIES #2 (OF 4) ARCHIE & FRIENDS #100 ARCHIE DIGEST #225 ATOMIKA #7 (OF 12) BATMAN JOURNEY INTO KNIGHT #9(OF 12) BLOOD OF THE DEMON #15 BOOK OF SHADOWS #2 (OF 2) BPRD UNIVERSAL MACHINE #2 (OF5) CITY OF HEROES #13 CIVIL WAR #1 (OF 7) DETECTIVE COMICS #819 DOC SAMSON #5 (OF 5) EXILES #80 EXTERMINATORS #5 FEAR THE DEAD ZOMBIE SURVIVORS JOURNAL FLUFFY #4 (OF 4) FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #8 FURY PEACEMAKER #4 (OF 6) HARD TIME SEASON TWO #6 HAUNTED MANSION #3 INFINITE CRISIS #7 (OF 7) JOE LANSDALES DRIVE IN VOL 2 #1 (OF 4) JSA #85 JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #244 JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #21 LOONEY TUNES #138 LOVE & ROCKETS VOL 2 #16 MARSHAL #1 (OF 4) MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #15 MARVEL ROMANCE REDUX I SHOULDHAVE BEEN A BLONDE MARVEL TEAM-UP #20 MIDDLEMAN VOL 2 #3 SINO-MEXICAN REVELATION MOUSE GUARD #2 NECROMANCER #5 NEIL GAIMANS NEVERWHERE #7 (OF 9) NOBLE BOY ONE SHOT OUTSIDERS #36 PUNISHER #33 RAYMOND E FEIST MAGICIAN APPRENTICE #1 BOOTH CVR REVOLUTION ON THE PLANET OF THE APES #4 (OF 6) REX LIBRIS #4 ROBOTIKA #3 ROCKETO JOURNEY TO THE HIDDENSEA #7 SEA OF RED #9 SEASON OF THE WITCH #4 (OF 4) SENTINEL SQUAD ONE #5 (OF 5) SHADOWHAWK #11 SONIC X #8 SPIDER-MAN UNLIMITED #15 STRANGE GIRL #8 SUPERGIRL #6 SWAMP THING #27 TEAM ZERO #6 (OF 6) TEEN TITANS #35 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #94 UNDERWORLD #4 (OF 5) WAR OF THE WORLDS SECOND WAVE #2 WORMWOOD GENTLEMAN CORPSE THETASTER X-MEN APOCALYPSE DRACULA #4 (OF 4) X-MEN THE END MEN AND X-MEN #5 (OF 6) Y THE LAST MAN #45

Book / Mag / Stuff ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL TP BIZARRO WORLD SC COMPLETE PEANUTS VOL 5 1959-1960 HC CONCRETE THE HUMAN DILEMMA TP DRAGONLANCE CHRONICLES VOL 1 DRAGONS OF AUTUMN TWILIGHT TP ESSENTIAL CLASSIC X-MEN VOL 2TP FORTEAN TIMES #209 GOTHAM CENTRAL VOL 3 UNRESOLVED TARGETS TP HULK VISIONARIES PETER DAVID VOL 3 TP JAMES BOND GOLDEN GHOST TP JIMBOS INFERNO HC JUDGE DREDD COMPLETE CASE FILES VOL 3 TP LULLABIES FROM HELL VOL 1 TP MICHAEL CHABON PRESENTS ADV O/T ESCAPIST VOL 3 TP NUDE MAGAZINE #8 PUNISHER MAX VOL 5 THE SLAVERS TP SAM & TWITCH BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS COLLECTION VOL 1 TP SANDMAN MYSTERY THEATRE VOL 4THE SCORPION TP SEX ROCK & OPTICAL ILLUSIONS HC SUPERMAN JUMBO COLOR AND ACTIVITY BOOK SWARM VOL 2 GN (A) TEZUKAS BUDDHA VOL 1 TP TRUE LOVES VOL 1 GN ULTIMATE X-MEN FANTASTIC FOURTP UNCANNY X-MEN OMNIBUS VOL 1 HC VAMPIRELLA WITCHBLADE TRILOGYTP WONDER WOMAN SYMBOL T/S YAOI HENTAI VOL 2 GN (A) YEAST HOIST 12 GN

What looks good, what are you getting?

-B

Pantalons sans Robotieres: Jeff's Reviews of 4/26 Books...

Here's a question for the Savage Commenteers: can a man who's sucked at every other rhythm game to date find happiness with Guitar Hero? Or will it just be a waste of cash and flashy peripheral controller space? Discuss. And in non-maybe-it's-finally-time-to-hang-up-my-PS2 news:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #531: Like many of JMS's machinations, I find the idea kinda interesting, and the execution lousy. If you buy into the conceit behind the Spider-Man movie, Peter is particularly vulnerable to the influence of a father figure, and Tony Stark could be filling that bill so much that Spidey can't see he's being led around by the webs. But that's not what I'm getting from what I read; that's what I get when I set my Benefit-of-the-Doubtometer to overdrive. What I'm getting when I read is a headache from all the plot-hammering. Eh.

ANNIHILATION RONAN #1: Is this whole Annihilation event with its bookend issues and four issue miniseries Marvel's answer to Seven Soldiers? If so, it's kind of a shame Marvel doesn't really understand that maybe a unifying vision (or better, Grant Morrison's unifying vision) is what's needed to pull that kind of thing off. Because although I thought the art on this was pretty nifty, and the story interesting in a "Hey, look what I found in this old issue of 2000 A.D.!" kind of way, it has so little to do with the other books in the event, it's probably gonna feel jarring when it does. OK, although like Graeme, I too have a hard time remembering what happened: the art more than made up for that.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #14: As you might expect from Mr. Whedon, Emma's mindfucking of Scott (and not in a good way) was satisfying and interesting, although I find the take on Cyclops to be very, very iffy: so the guy who's been a big, old control freak his entire life deliberately chose not to take control of his powers because he was too afraid of the responsibility of hurting people? It almost kind of works, but there's just too many hurtles to be overcome. If nothing else, it wouldn't make Scott a reluctant leader, it would make the idea of being a leader anathema to him. And then there's the whole "and he hid it from all the world's greatest telepaths all this time" angle. Sorry, made my disbelief saving throw by thisss much.... OK.

BATMAN #652: The new Batman on E is still pretty cool, but it can't obscure what feels like some heavy-duty vamping on the writer's part, particularly where Harvey "how can you even suspect me when I admit everything points to me as the prime supsect?" Dent is concerned. OK.

BLACK PANTHER #15: Beware: reading this issue and the most recent Joe Fridays column within 24 hours of each other will make your brain explode. (Big points for Joe Q. for saying, "Yes, there are single characters that you can marry, but they have to be characters that don’t necessarily have their bachelorhood as a prime story point. T’Challa is a perfect example." Because, of course, marriage is only about the man, Joe. And that's the more charitable interpretation of that comment...) As a bonus, Hudlin perfectly captures Ororo's speech patterns--when she's being played by Halle Berry. Crap.

BLUE BEETLE #2: I feel a little crawly about the first group of villains faced by our young Latino hero being "The Posse," but maybe my tighty-liberal-whities have shrunk in the wash a bit. Still a Good read, though.

CHECKMATE #1: Greg Rucka's new humor book gets off to a rollicking new start, with the golden age Green Lantern wearing an eyepatch and a kooky leather jacket to appear before the U.N. (get it? It's like having Jimmy Stewart dress up like Nick Fury!) with Amanda Waller (who, to avoid showing us a fat woman in a kooky leather jacket, is either drawn in tight close up or distant two-shot--the discretion being a clever tweak of reader's expectations for a comedy book). Like the film Top Secret, Rucka and Saiz take established spy movie cliches and deflate them through deadpan delivery, revealing such cliches as the "flirtatious nice guy who's too good to live," the "inscrutable Asian mastermind," and even the "tough guy tag line delivered with the killing stroke" as ripe targets for parody. I think the funniest part is when Checkmate realizes that the mastermind behind the plan to dissolve their funding isn't being headed up by the French, but the Chinese. Like the French could head up anything! Like the Chinese would be down with an international police division based on Chess, and not Go! Not nearly as funny as Team America, but it's only the first issue and it's obvious Rucka and Saiz are just warming up. Allow me to offer up a cover blurb for a future ish: "Look out for the Ruy Lopez of laughs: Checkmate!!" Awful.

FANTASTIC FOUR #537: Here's how well JMS understands Dr. Doom: Reed Richards asks Doom how he got out of Hell and Doom goes, "Eh, it's not important." Yeah, like Doom would pass up the chance to gloat to Richards about anything, particularly his escape from the infernal pit of torture where Reed consigned him. Of course, since there are pages to kill, we get to see how it happens anyway and, yeah, sure enough, it's presented in the dullest way possible. Throw in a scene of Doom trying to pick up the hammer, and then giving up and leaving when he fails, and you've got a real turd of a FF story. Stick around for next issue, when Galactus shows up and turns down a sandwich. Awful.

HAWKGIRL #51: I can tell if it's laziness or contempt (or, God help us, old age) afflicting Simonson and Chaykin, but something is stinking this up pretty bad. Remember last issue's cliffhanger? You know, where Hawkgirl was trapped in the dark? This issue opens with her clever escape by waking up from a bad dream. If that's not enough, there's a scene where Hawkgirl and her buddy, after drinking in a bar, hear cries for help and the buddy who knows Hawkgirl is Hawkgirl, tells her to call the police while he goes to check out the problem. And Hawkgirl, who also knows she's Hawkgirl, complies. Although not explicitly stated, the subtext is clearly:

GUY: Uh-oh, trouble! You stay here and call the police, because you're the lamest superhero ever.

HAWKGIRL: You're right. I will.

While I guess this issue admirably clears the way for Norman Mailer's upcoming run on Wonder Woman, I found it Crap on just about every other level.

ION #1: I have to admit I read this really quickly, but based on this set-up, I'd guess Ion is a hero who gets his powers from killing girlfriends? (Hmmm, maybe this is clearing the way for Mailer's Wonder Woman) Because that'd kind of explain Kyle's creepy "All my girlfriends are dead! All my girlfriends are dead! Hey, who's that hot number next door? Oh well, it's just as well she can't talk and isn't interested in me because she'd only end up dead!" In short, the book read more like a romantic comedy scripted by Jason Voorhees than a superhero book I'd be interested in reading. Crap and crap, again.

NEW AVENGERS ANNUAL #1: I can really imagine Bendis wrapping up the script for this, and going, "Finally! A complete done-in-one issue with a good fight scene, solid characterization and good laughs. Who says I can't compress my storytelling?" before realizing (a) it took him forty some-odd pages to do what he should be doing in twenty; and (b) he forgot to include the wedding that was ostensibly the point of the whole issue and having to rewrite his last five pages to include it. Good, but also frustrating.

SENTRY #8: As I said previously, this whole mini ended up living or dying on the big revelation of this issue, which I guess means this sucker's dead. The idea that Robert Reynolds is nobody special and the Sentry could have been anybody, anyone, isn't much of a brain-blower, even considering that Reynolds is an insecure paranoid schizophrenic. (Also the whole "it's Captain America's superserum from the program that created Wolverine! Times 1,000!" is so bad I can't tell if it's supposed to point to its own badness.) I think there might have been a way for Jenkins to take his whole meta-conceit--maybe the relationship Reynolds has with The Sentry and The Void is less that of a secret identity and more the relationship between a comic book reader and the characters--but, whatever. Frustrating hokum, but well-drawn. Eh.

SEVEN SOLDIERS FRANKENSTEIN #4: Frankenstein fights sentient universe, blows its brains out. Nuff said. Excellent. (Although if you need more, Jog's review is a lively, informative read.)

VILLAINS UNITED INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL: Ah, fooled me twice. I remember reading the Villains United mini and being initially annoyed the focus was on the new Secret Six, rather than the Secret Society of Super-Villains. And now, when I pick up this special curious to read about the Secret Six, it's actually all about the Secret Society. Well played, Simone. Well played.

Unfortunately, unlike Graeme, I thought this was pretty goofy. All the metahuman convicts from all over the world are freed and told to go to Metropolis. How are they going to get there at all, much less at the same time? I think it'd be hilarious if all the Chinese prisoners show up six months late because they had to come by barge... OK compared to the other one shots but I don't think that's saying too much.

PICK OF THE WEEK: SEVEN SOLDIERS FRANKENSTEIN #4, and I wouldn't be surprised if every issue of this made my pick of the week. I loved it.

PICK OF THE WEAK: HAWKGIRL #51 because even Hawkgirl has contempt for Hawkgirl.

TRADE PICK: No pick. The only one I was tempted by was COLLECTED JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR VOL 5 TPB and I think I already have all the issues.

MANGA FIX: So I read all fifteen volumes of BATTLE ROYALE last week. By the time I finished them (at the rate of three volumes a day), my brain was prety broken--I couldn't see anything remotely sentimental or sweet without expecting someone's head to explode. Admittedly, I read them far more quickly than I should have, but after the shocks of the explicit gore (and sex--mustn't forget the sex) finally(!) faded, I didn't feel like there was as much insight into human nature as there could have been. For a book that's about people being put in the most evil situation possible, the authors seem to have no real belief in evil. Makes me wish Carter Scholz was still writing essays for The Comics Journal. He could have untangled the conundrum, I bet.

Robot Pants: Graeme's reviews of the 4/26 books.

With absolutely no proof whatsoever, I would like to blame Brian Hibbs for the fact that I spent the last week sick on the couch and feeling sorry for myself. There is almost no way that Bri could’ve made me sick – What with him being sick for the last week or so, I hadn’t even seen him for a couple of weeks – but lack of reason has never stopped me before... AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #531: The Road to Civil War is, apparently, not lined with good intentions, but mediocre comic books. The first of J. Michael Straczynski’s two lead-ins to Marvel’s big crossover event this week, this is another example of the creators being much more excited about their big ideas than anyone else – the story ends with Tony Stark talking about his respect for Abraham Lincoln: “When the South began going its own way, he knew that taking a position against them would lead to civil war. But he did it anyway. Because he understood something… understood it more perhaps than anyone else in that time. He knew that a house divided against itself cannot stand… A nation cannot be divided and survive. Under his administration, brother hunted down brother, friend turned against friend. It was terrible. It was bloody. It was necessary.” Yes, Marvel, we get it already. Civil War will have the Marvel Universe turning against itself, yadda yadda (Incidentally, one of the big changes that Civil War is going to bring will hopefully be some kind of explanation about why Tony Stark has suddenly become the Exposition-a-matic Iron Man, considering this monologue and his “I’ll tell you the plot of the first half of Civil War #1” thing at the end of the Illuminati special a few weeks back). Sadly, this upcoming excitement isn’t conveyed by this book, which spends too long on dull speeches illustrated by an artist who isn’t too great drawing faces… so, yeah. Crap, sadly.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #14: John Cassaday’s a great artist, but obviously one in a rush these days: Not only are some panels incredibly weak for him, but there’s a lot of Photoshop-repeated panels in here (The sixth page in particular)… Maybe there were Planetary-related deadline things happening? It’s a shame, though, because the story this issue is kind of interesting – Joss Whedon goes into the psychology of Cyclops, picking up on some things that Grant Morrison left lying around after his run. I’m not convinced about the overall plot that’s happening here, but this episode alone is worth paying attention to, even including the lazy art. Good.

BLUE BEETLE #2: Of course, if we’re talking art, I should admit upfront that Cully Hamner’s work on this book is probably making me enjoy it more than I would if anyone else was drawing it – There’s something about Hamner’s stuff here (cartoony but not overly, like Walt Simonson in his prime meets Disney) that helps the well-done but kind of generic teenage hero in mystic secret origin plot go down easier. Good.

CHECKMATE #1: “From the pages of Infinite Crisis,” according to the cover, but unless something happens in the last issue of that book, that’s not really true… But then, “From the pages of The OMAC Project, you know, that Infinite Crisis tie-in book” probably has too many words for a cover blurb. Greg Rucka has the whole spy thing down pat after doing Queen and Country for so long, but I’m not convinced that it works here – The idea that Kobra, a religious cult of nihilists who dress up like snakes, are meant to be taken seriously as an international terrorist threat is as tough to swallow as Rucka’s fairly-sudden revamp of Fire (from the Giffen/DeMatteis JLI) as a heart-hearted Sydney Bristow type. As is traditional with Rucka’s DC work, he doesn’t introduce his characters as much as assume that you already know them from his other DC books, so the death of (Wonder Woman supporting character) Jonah McCarthy falls completely flat considering the reader isn’t given any reason to care about him. It’s all done well enough – Jesus Saiz provides nice art, and Lee Barmejo’s cover is good – but… Eh.

FANTASTIC FOUR #537: The Road to Civil War! Again! This is just horrible, ruining the surprise of Thor’s return at some point during Civil War (because there’s no other reason for this to be a Civil War tie-in) and making what should have been an exciting story – Doctor Doom is back! – into a subplot that’s done with absolutely no enthusiasm in the first half of the book purely to get it out the way before returning to a main story that makes no effort to hide the mechanics of We-have-to-get-to-plot-point-B-now. Really, really Awful.

FRANKENSTEIN #4: Okay, it’s a month late, but everything comes together in this penultimate part of the whole Seven Soldiers story, as Grant Morrison brings the plots of his JLA Classified, Zatanna, Klarion and Shining Knight series into this issue in such a way that it still doesn’t slow down the story. Doug Mahnke’s art is as gorgeous as ever – he does a great evil Fairy Queen – and Goddammit if it actually wasn’t worth the wait. Excellent, even if I’m bored of the “One soldier must die… Will it be X?” teasers at the end of each series by now. It’s going to be Frankenstein. It’s obviously going to be Frankenstein. Ignoring that we’ve seen Mister Miracle, Guardian, Klarion, Zatanna and Bulleteer in Infinite Crisis by now, Frankenstein’s the only one whose death would be a happy ending, and Grant’s superhero work is all about the happy ending… (Now that I’ve said that, of course, the Shining Knight will die. It’ll be Armageddon 2001 all over again.)

THE NEW AVENGERS ANNUAL #1: Do I have to hand in my Bendis-Hata badge if I admit that I liked this? I mean, yes, Bendis still can’t really write superhero stories without some kind of out-of-nowhere non-conclusion – This time, the bad guy gets killed by other bad guys because she’s too much of a threat to them – and his fight dialogue is appalling (“You arrogant - - You just killed yourself! You just killed yourself!”), but there’s something about the lightness of tone of the story mixed with the wonderful Olivier Copiel art that just sold me… Personally, I would’ve liked it more if the story really had been about the wedding of Luke Cage and Jessica Jones instead of the new Super-Adaptoid, but still, it’s Good, surprisingly.

ION #1: The good: Greg Tocchini’s Gene Colan-esque artwork. The bad: Ron Marz’s writing, which pairs an unoriginal concept (A hero has more power than he knows what to do with! That’s never been done before!) with shitty dialogue (“I don’t know why you came here… But you’re not going to take me!”). You can imagine why this got downgraded from an ongoing book to a 12-issue mini-series: Someone at DC saw this issue and came to their senses. Crap.

RONAN #1: I just don’t get this whole Annihilation thing. Everything I’ve read from it just makes me even more convinced that Marvel are pushing out series based on minor characters that can’t really support their own books just to flood the market, and this isn’t any different. The very definition of Eh, because I had to re-read it just to remember what it was about.

SOLO #10: Hibbs handed this to me the other day with the announcement that it may be the worst thing that DC has ever published, which I tell you just so that all of you can want to read him review it as much as I do. Me, I don’t think that it’s that bad, but it definitely makes me wonder if Solo editor Mark Chiarello lost a bet or something: Never mind the quality of the artwork (Which varies from terrible – that Flash story hurts the eyes – to kind-of-interesting in a Gahan Wilson meets the Yellow Submarine cartoon way in the Superman gallery pages) or the writing (which is almost uniformly bad, in a fan-fictiony way), what gets me is that there’s not a full issue’s worth of work here – Each story is seperated with pages of cover sketches and roughs and hand-written commentary, which kind of screams “Filler” to me in a very loud, panicked by the prospect of a deadline, voice. Although I think that Brian hated it more than me, I’d be lying if I said it was any better than Awful.

SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #17: Good as ever, with Waid providing a much more interesting take on Supergirl than she’s gotten anywhere else, but what I really wanted to point out was the comment from the bad guy towards the end of the book: “Remember the fiffffdeetu.” Looks like the Legion is really going to be tying into DC continuity from now on, then.

USAGI YOJIMBO #93: Hey! Everyone who’s ever complained about Bendis writing decompressed stories? Try reading this issue, in which you get a Japanese Tea Ceremony explained to you and… well, that’s about it. But when it takes seven pages for Usagi just to cross the garden and enter the room where the ceremony is taking place, you can understand why there isn’t space for much else. Despite my sarcasm, I really enjoyed this – the pacing is deliberate, and done with such skill that you’d have to be even more of an asshole than me to seriously complain. A beautifully peaceful book, and a Very Good one, at that.

VILLAINS UNITED: INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL #1: This really shouldn’t feel like anything more than a lead-in to Infinite Crisis #7 (and one that will, hopefully for those only reading IC, be recapped at least in that book), but this had exactly the right tone of dread and anticipation running all the way through it for me, as Alex Luthor’s Plan B comes into focus just as everyone who could help stop it realizes what’s going on a little bit too late. There are some nice character moments in the middle of all the Infinite Crisising, and Gail Simone provides yet another bit of proof that she’s good at channelling Grant Morrison’s JLA with a shout-out to the end of his World War III arc. The only downside for me was the expected lack of ending, but with Infinite Crisis due out next week, I can wait to see just how everything ends up alright. Good

ZOOMSUIT #1: Zoomsuit stinks. And I mean that literally; the book has some weird metallic smell that hits you as soon as you open it, probably from the metallic ink used to provide a barely-there silver sheen to certain scenes for no immediately apparent reason. Luckily enough, the book stinks in a figurative sense as well, just to help keep things straight. If I tell you that the book opens with the following exchange between two old folk out searching for a fallen meteor, you may get an idea of just how bad it is:

“Dang it Ma, you nearly scared the bejesus outta me. Don’t do that to me in my Sunday trousers.”

“I get gassy when I’m scared… And I’m really scared.”

“Well put a cork in it. We don’t want these aliens to ‘smell’ fear.”

“Better hold on… I feel another one coming.”

The aliens then appear, and say something in their alien language. Which translates as “Who farted.” I wish I was joking.

Sadly, things only get worse from there. The plot is stolen from a million different sources, the dialogue at the level of the above exchange (or worse – There are a few shots that the writer takes at Billy Dallas Patton’s art in captions and characters’ thoughts. Not that the art is good or anything, but still, I’m sure you shouldn’t be going after the people who drew your book for you) and the overall execution completely amateurish. Ass, but with a worse odor.

PICK OF THE WEEK is Frankenstein, which makes me wish that Seven Soldiers #1 wasn’t so late that it’s not even on the schedule anymore. PICK OF THE WEAK is Zoomsuit, although I really want to give it to Fantastic Four, because that at least has the potential to be better… Even if I’d picked up one of the few trades that came out this week, I doubt that I would’ve been able to give out a TRADE OF THE WEEK; I spent most of my trade-reading time going through Essential Iron Mans, coming to the twin conclusions of (a) Iron Man has really always kind of sucked as a strip, and (b) Don Heck was an incredible artist, back in the day.

Next week’s a bit of a double whammy: Wednesday has the final issue of Infinite Crisis and the first issue of Civil War, and then Saturday is Free Comic Book Day, where there are roughly several million different comic books for you to pick up, including the surprisingly disappointing X-Men/Runaways by Brian K. Vaughan and Skottie Young. Bear that in mind when you go into your comic stores of choice this week, because your retailers? They may be a wee bit stressed.

Arrving 4/26

2000 AD #14802000 AD #1481 ALL NEW OFF HANDBOOK MARVEL UNIVERSE A TO Z #4 AMAZING FANTASY #20 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #531 AMERICAN WAY #3 (OF 8) ANNIHILATION RONAN #1 (OF 4) ARMY OF DARKNESS #6 ASTONISHING X-MEN #14 BART SIMPSON COMICS #29 BATMAN #652 BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #204 BETTY & VERONICA #217 BETTY & VERONICA DIGEST #165 BLACK HARVEST #5 (OF 6) BLACK PANTHER #15 BLUE BEETLE #2 CARTOON NETWORK BLOCK PARTY #20 CATWOMAN #54 CHECKMATE #1 CLIVE BARKERS GREAT AND SECRET SHOW #2 (OF 12) CRISIS AFTERMATH THE BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN #2 (OF 6) DAUGHTERS OF THE DRAGON #4 (OF 6) DOLL & CREATURE #2 (OF 4) ED THE HAPPY CLOWN #7 (OF 9) FANTASTIC FOUR #537 FOUR #29 GODLAND #10 HAWKGIRL #51 HOUSEWIVES AT PLAY #15 (A) HOW TO SELF PUBLISH COMICS #3(OF 4) INCREDIBLE HULK #94 INVINCIBLE #31 ION #1 (OF 12) IRON MAN THE INEVITABLE #5 (OF 6) JUGHEADS DOUBLE DIGEST #121 LUCIFER #73 MARVEL MILESTONES BEAST & KITTY PRYDE NEW AVENGERS ANNUAL #1 NYC MECH BETA LOVE #6 (OF 6) PARIS #4 (OF 4) POISON ELVES LOST TALES #3 POISON ELVES VENTURES #4 JACE POLLY & THE PIRATES #5 (OF 6) RED SONJA VS THULSA DOOM #3 (OF 4) RUNAWAYS #15 SAVAGE DRAGON #125 SENTRY #8 (OF 8) SEVEN SOLDIERS FRANKENSTEIN #4 (OF 4) SHRUGGED BEGINNINGS SKYE RUNNER #1 SOLO #10 SPAWN #155 SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #5 STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC #4 STAR WARS TAG & BINK #2 STORM #3 (OF 6) SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #17 TEEN TITANS GO #30 THING #6 TRON #1 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #29 UNCLE SCROOGE #353 USAGI YOJIMBO #93 VILLAINS UNITED INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL WALT DISNEYS COMICS & STORIES #668 WARLORD #3 WHAT WERE THEY THINKING SOME PEOPLE NEVER LEARN ONE SHOT WOLVERINE #41 X-FACTOR #6 ZOOM SUIT #1

Book / Mag / Stuff 100 BULLETS VOL 9 STRYCHNINE LIVES TP CARGO COMIC JOURNALISM FROM ISRAEL GERMANY HC COLLECTED JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR VOL 5 TP DECIMATION X-MEN THE DAY AFTER TP DEFENDERS INDEFENSIBLE PREMIERE HC DRAGONSLIPPERS GN FRANK CHO WOMEN SELECTED DRAWINGS & ILLUSTRATIONS HC H G WELLS THE WAR OF THE WORLDS HC KILROY IS HERE TP LUCIFERS GARDEN OF VERSES VOL3 THE STUDENT SC NEW X-MEN CHILDHOODS END VOL 1 TP PATRIOT GN (A) PREVIEWS VOL XVI #5 SFX #142 SLAINE BOOKS OF INVASIONS VOL1 MOLOCH AND GOLAMH HC STAR WARS CLONE WARS ADVENTURES VOL 5 TP TEZUKAS BUDDHA VOL 8 JETAVANAHC WHAT IF MIRROR MIRROR TP WINGS GN WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE MARVELCIVIL WAR CVR #176

Hurray, not dead! And some thanks!

While I still feel like there's a steel rod, barbed with little razors, in my throat, it is, at least, no longer rotating, and pounding in and out at piston-speed. Was able to swallow solid food this morning, and I actually got almost a full 8 hours of sleep last night, so I think I am "better".

What a fucked up virus that was. "Yeah, can't do anything for you," said the doctor, "we're no good with viruses yet -- antibioticis will do nothing, and while you're inflamed, it isn't tonsilitis or Strep, so all I can do is give you a perscription for vicodin and ice cream."

The vicodin didn't do much but allow me to sleep for a whole hour at a time, rather than just 20 minutes -- and by day #2 it started to WIRE me, and give me really nasty hallucinations of the angel of death floating around the roof of my bedroom.

Tzipora suffered more from cabin fever than anything else -- she had bad naseua (nothing worse than having to puke, and puking up nothing but water, right?), and a severe case of the spins -- but the fact that she couldn't escape the house in nearly a week was worse for her than almost anything else. The lady is a free spirit.

And Ben smiled through the whole thing, with nary a symptom in sight -- other than being really really sad that we kept handing him off to grandparents to take him to the park. "Where sickness from?" he'd keep asking, as if, fireman-style, he'd go kicking down some door to battle it and get his parents back. Heart-breaking, really. I love the little guy so much, but am glad he had existential pain, rather than real pain.

I'm taking one more day to get back up to speed, but I think by tomorrow I'll be down to "dull roar of pain", and I can go catch up on nearly a damn week's worth of paperwork and stuff at the store.

SO: big BIG thanks to the staff for keeping shit together while I suffered sleep-and-food deprivation -- and even more so from the absolute last-minute warning I heaped it on to them.

Especially double-plus thanks go to Jeff Lester for fighting an unfamiliar photocopier and getting ONOMATOPOEIA run off. He called me 3-4 times on Firday, each with a "Uh, WTF is this machine doing?!" question, and each time he sounded more and more defeated by the mechanical beast -- escpecially since I couldn't answer ANY of his questions (I've never USED the "duplex to simplex" feature, sorry!). But he perservered, and got shit taken care of, and he should be lauded -- LAUDED -- by the Gods themselves.

Anyway, now that I CAN sleep, I'm going to go and try and fit in another 12-16 hours today.

Mm, yeah, The newest Tilting also made it up at:

http://www.newsarama.com/Tilting2_0/Tilting27.html

go give it a read, I guess, though it was written in a vicodin haze and contains AT LEAST one absolutely, verifiably, 100% false statement. Can YOU spot it? Because I have NO idea how I could have written it (except for the whole "vicodin-haze" thing) -- me, of ALL people should have known better....

-B