Two-Fisted Drinker: Bri celebrates the sixteenth anniversary of CE and the opening weekend of Sin City with a refreshing bottle of Bastard's Brew.

Okay, I finally worked the kinks out of the Picasa/Hello/Blogger thing. So first up, the car crash. Everybody loves a car crash!

No Foolin': Reviews of the 3/30 Books

This could be clumsy: I haven’t read Hibbs' reviews yet, so as not to color my own thinking (conveniently ignoring the four-plus hours we spent at the store discussing stuff), but my hope is he covered most of the week’s books. I barely made a dent in 'em: it was the store’s sixteenth anniversary yesterday, beers were broken out relatively early, we had a constant stream of customers our last three hours and, of course, there was the crashed car which got towed Friday morning after smashing into a parking meter Wednesday. I took pictures and I’ll see if I can get 'em posted later: last week's attempt at showing our latest window display was a failure, but that may have been because it went through Blogger from Picasa via Hello…which may have been one too many programs to thread through our FTP. (Yes, we're mighty fixated on that crashed car here at CE…maybe because it appeared the same day DC Countdown was released. Hmmm... Coincidence?)

What was the point of that? Oh yes, so I spent most of yesterday yelling and drinking, and not nearly enough reading comics. So this entry might be a little content-light, and/or late, depending. Oh, and SPOILERS! But you knew that.

AMAZING JOY BUZZARDS #4: I tried, man, really, I tried. I picked this book up four times but…beer and partying, you know. Hopefully, it got super-awesome and proved every criticism I had of it totally invalid. But if so, it hadn't happened by page three. No rating.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #9: Kind of an interesting compare and contrast with Countdown because you have a situation that's equally hard to accept (a mutated Danger Room) and Whedon gets around it by basically saying, "I know! I know! I need an ultra-special dispensation of disbelief suspension here. I mean, we've got characters who turn to diamond, for Christ's sake!" So, in comparing it to Countdown, I learned (a) as a comic book reader, I can accept some pretty outrageous stuff if the writer can acknowledge it themselves; (b) I can accept some pretty outrageous stuff as long as everyone continues to act in character; and/or (c) I can accept some pretty outrageous stuff if John Cassaday is drawing it. Good because of all of the above, even though I'm not nearly as absorbed with the second arc as I was with the first.

BATMAN #638: There was that great issue of Hush where it seemed like Jason Todd was back, and I knew, after it turned out to be a red herring, it would only be a matter of time until Jason Todd really did come back. Because that red herring was so much more exciting and unexpected than the rest of the story Loeb had lined up, it was only a matter of time before another writer went for it. Looks like Judd did (although who knows? Could be another red herring, and the Red Hood is really Aunt Harriet…) although the main problem is, really, it's not nearly as exciting the second time around (which is probably why it will turn out to be Aunt Harriet). I thought putting an "epilogue" tag on that final scene made things extra messy since this whole story begins in media res with Batman fighting and unmasking Red Hood and then flashing back—I kinda doubt that scene with the Joker takes place after that opening fight—but I more or less liked this. Winick's writing has pep, Mahnke's art is buttery smooth, and Batman might actually be in danger for a change. So even though this was kind of a mess, and the exact sort of cynical mess I don't want to see DC engage in, I'm giving it a Good because, as a Bat-fan, I jumped right in, read it, and am ready for the next.

CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #4: Didn't get past the opening sex scene, other than to flip through the book to see if there were other sex scenes. Chadwick's art is gorgeous but his storytelling has lost a lot of nuance: if Steve Ditko had ended up as the staff cartoonist for Mother Jones, the result would be a lot like this. No rating. DC COUNTDOWN TO INFINITE CRISIS #1: I'm gonna keep this review short because I bet Hibbs will cover a lot of the same ground, and better. (And there are some areas where we differ that might be kind of interesting, but not worth the 20,000 words it would take to get into it.) But, let me just say, first, I knew what I was getting into when I picked up the book—more than likely, it was going to take its cues from all the stuff I didn't like in Identity Crisis, which meant (more than likely) a minor character was going to get killed by another minor character in a way that, in order to be a genuine surprise, would have to contradict established thinking at the core of either or both characters. And I knew it would be a lead-in to the upcoming miniseries, so there would be a certain amount of awkward plot hammering to cover stuff like The Rann-Thanagar War. And for all that, for what it did, considering it only cost a buck, it was pretty much OK, I thought. It didn't seem like a hacked-out piece of crap to me (although I've read A.K.'s review since then and now I just wonder if I have no taste whatsoever), although it made me actually kind of sad: I mean if I assembled a list of all the DC titles from the '80s and '90s that deserved to be shit on, the Giffen/DeMatteis/Maguire Justice League would probably be at the very bottom of that list. And yet, this is about as thorough a shitting on as one can imagine (well, L-Ron didn't come out and skullfuck Blue Beetle's exit wound, but maybe they're saving that for the "Director's Cut.") I know Geoff Johns has brought back and cleaned up so many characters that've been shit on he probably thinks he can do the same with Blue Beetle (and I'm sure he can!), but can he really unpoison an entire run? I hope DC was at least suave enough to let Giffen, DeMatteis and Maguire know in advance (and/or throw them a bonus or some extra work) because this would feel like a kick in the teeth, otherwise. Depressing.

FANTASTIC FOUR #524: Well-crafted and clever, and kind of has me wondering if the Fantastic Four are, for lack of a better term, dead. I was having lunch with a friend this week, and one of the topics touched on were the imaginary stories Superman used to have and how brilliant and necessary they were. Because with Superman, you have this really brilliantly established status quo and the only way to explore all of its implications without really changing it is by using an imaginary story (or a reboot). So Superman's dead, more or less, but imaginary stories allow writers and readers to still explore the myth of Superman and weave interesting material from it. Without that in place, you basically get stuff like Supreme Power and Supreme and Legend, which are explorations of the Superman myth without using Superman. And maybe it's the same with The Fantastic Four: you've got a really iconic status quo, and you're supposed to explore that status quo without really changing anything. What can you do? You can create very well-crafted and clever stories like this team did and if a scene where Ben argues with Reed that Reed can't become The Thing, because his stubby little fingers will slow down his ability to save humanity, feels patently false, really, whose fault is it? Certainly not Waid's, not Weiringo's, and maybe not even mine. It's just the nature of the status quo. OK, I guess.

FLASH #220: This is how I know I'm just not a true Flash fan—I just don't care about The Rogues. Geoff Johns has crafted some stories that make me interested in some of the individual Rogues, sure. But put ten of 'em in a room and I just lose interest. This was probably better than Eh, but I doubt I'll ever be able to tell.

MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #12: So first, Green Goblin and Doc Ock get struck by lightning. Then, when it looks like Aunt May is dying, she and Spidey get struck by lightning? One convenient lightning strike is absurdly cheap, two just seems, I dunno, openly contemptuous? And the use of Chekov's dictum "If there is a gun hanging on the wall in the first act, it must knock a love interest off a bridge by the last," was also a bit off-putting (As Hibbs put in the store: "why would you even bother to set something like that up? Why not just have her slip and fall?"). I kind of liked the last page, and I thought the text piece by Millar singing the praises of the strange fucked up '70s Spidey books (an era I also love) was very well done. But it also seemed Millar had spent twice as long composing that text page as he had the previous three issues. Considering the total number of pages I liked in this twelve issue run is approximately four, I would have to give this the Crap rating.

OUTSIDERS #22: I don't care too much about Arsenal, but I liked how this played out. Something about Deathstroke looking at all those wounds and deciding to give the guy a pass really worked for me. A quibble here, a quibble there (is there a bunch of Deathstroke/Arsenal slash fanfic that I don't know about? Because that panel where a well-placed boot obscures what may be Deathstroke mounting Arsenal was pretty darn…interesting), so let's go with OK.

RICHARD DRAGON #11: A pretty good set-up to a what will hopefully be a slam-bang finale. OK.

SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN #26: A fateful "lady or the tiger" decision as Spidey must choose whether to go after a kidnapped Mary Jane or a vengeance-hungry Sara…except it's really more like a "lady or the muppet" decision. Half an hour later, Sara is still in a Mexican standoff with the evil French gangsters until Spidey appears to mop things up. Just one of many reasons I found this issue particularly Craptacular.

TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #31: Yes, we drank and partied so much I didn't even read Tarot. Aww. No rating.

ULTIMATE SECRET #1: Nice and speedy. The science stuff didn't drag on too long, and we got some fun big splodey. As long as next issue isn't just a repeat of this issue: Good.

X-MEN PHOENIX ENDSONG #4: I'm wonder if this was supposed to have been the following arc on Astonishing after Whedon/Cassaday because it really seems to stem from it (in the same way the Whedon/Cassaday work seemed to stem from Morrison's run). I'm liking it, although Land's action scenes are a little bit of a jumble and I'm just not following some of the thinking here. (Why does Logan repeatedly killing Phoenix make her more Jean and less Phoenix? Or have I got that backward?) Still, I have to say I prefer it to all of the regular X-books except for Astonishing. Good.

Sweet 16 reviews of 3/30 comics

First off, today marks 16 years of Comix Experience. Hooray! My baby is ready for her prom! Joy! It almost was a disaster though, as at some point on Wednesday night a car pulled a hit and run on another car parked in front of the store, pushing it up on the sidewalk, and wrapping it around the parking meter in front. If the meter hadn't been there, the hit car would probably have gone through the store's front window. If the car is still there today, I'll try to take some pictures and get them posted. What was funny is that all day yesterday people were stopping and taking pix of the car with their friends standing next to it. Kinda the ultimate rubber-necking experience.

Ben and Tzipora are off on a "play date" so I have a rare (VERY RARE) morning to myself, and I have about 2 hours to write up the CRITIC before I have to go off to the eye doctor and see if they can fix the pairs of glasses that Ben has ruined so far. I love that boy, though.

I should be at the store around 1 or so, and we'll probably be drinking some beer and stuff, so if you're in the area, pop by and join the low key and wholly unofficial 16-year celebration.

Anyway, hows about some reviews? I've managed to read everything, though I'm not going to even attempt to do a "full" week of reviews -- going to try to keep it around 20 books this week.

(I shouldn't have to do this, but, yes, there are some spoilers below, you're duly warned!)

ASTONISHING X-MEN #9: You have to imagine that Whedon is having a blast -- coming up with stuff that, if he was doing a movie or a TV show would be impossible unless, y'know, he only wanted to do one episode a year or something. There's a few great lines here, as always, but I think the central idea of "The danger room is sentient and will reform itself into a giant robot to kill us all" is... well, it's pretty dumb. If it wasn't for the suicidal mutant kid this would have probably just been a big waste of time, but there's enough of a solid emotional through-line there that it works better than it should have. Still, this was the first issue of the run where I was kinda... well, bored I guess, and I'll go with a medium strength GOOD.

BATGIRL #62: I really don't get how this has lasted for SIXTY-TWO issues, man. Over five years of an emotionally stunted protagonist who really does nothing other than hit people well. Her character is about as deep as a piece of paper. *shrug* There were OK scenes here and there (I thought the near-death sequence worked OK), but even if this book was firing on every cylindar both real and imaginary, I can;t really ever picture this book being much better than a strong OK.

BATMAN #638: I really really want to roll my eyes at this. Bringing Jason back seems like such a hack idea to me, and I can't imagine that it would have even occured to anyone had Jeph Loeb not done it 2 years ago. I wildly disagree with Judd's interview earlier in the week on Newsarama (the oddly named link can be found as http://www.newsarama.com/DC/Countdown_more/Batman_Hello.htm -- doesn't that sound like a badly translated Japanese comic? "In the next issue of 'Batman Hello!' Bruce must face a champion Mah-Jong player!") where he posits that the "how" is less important than the effects. The problem is, I think, in comics the HOW is what allows the WHAT to have emotional resonance or not. It's hard to think of a scenario where the HOW doesn't becoming comic-book-stupid, cutting out the legs of any emotional impact (say, if he is a from a parallel universe or some shit). Even IF the HOW is the best idea evah, though, bringing Jason back... well it's emotionally cheap and easy, to this reader. It worked OK in "Hush" because it was a red herring and a feint, but as the real thing? Meh. If I have one real problem though, it's how deeply insular this is as a self-contained story-unit. That last page reveal really only works if you know your Bat-Backstory. There's nothing within the comic that sets this up, or gives a clue to why the last page is significant at all. Sure, if you've been reading Batman for 20 years then you "get it", but if this was someone's first Batman comic? "Who is the guy in the red mask, there?" I will add points, however, for the word-baloon-driven cover. That looks like Wagner's lettering to me, as well. I'll go with a solid OK, I guess, but future revalations could drive that up or drag that way way down.

BPRD THE DEAD #5: Good ending to the arc, feeling like a solid Hellboy-style story, and giving a few threads to play with for the future. I liked it: GOOD.

CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #4: Meanwhile I really WANT to like this, but the actual HUMAN dilemma of the book feels so rote and staged and emotionally flat, it is very hard to care. We do get to the ironic twist of the story (which I saw coming very early in this issue), which could be clever, but, as always, "there's a fine line between clever and stupid". I'll go with a mild OK, which is disappointing because I doubt I'd've ever given any other CONCRETE tale less than a "Very Good".

DC COUNTDOWN TO INFINITE CRISIS #1: Yes, this is the one you really tuned in to see how I'd rag on this week. I know that. Well, sir, lady, I might just refer you to one of my "Identity Crisis" "reviews" because my stance is pretty much the same -- it is frustrating to me when steps are taken to darken the universe like this, when big events are built UPON corpses and tragedy and horror. It frustrates me when characters act out-of-character and like total asshats because that's what the blueprint demands. In gaming, you call this "plot hammering", and the plot is hammered all over the place in the DCU these days.

Let me ask a serious question: is the story improved by a futile death, and an absence of heroism? Could the story have worked JUST AS WELL if BB had had a lucky last minute escape at the end? Perhaps, even an "Uh oh, IS he dead?!?!" moment, rather than a blantant and no-questions corpse on the floor? See, I think not only would the story have worked just the same, it could have given a possibility that BB could be a starring character again, rather than a sad second string joke. And that, perhaps, is the great failure of the current guardians of the DCU -- enormous effort is being made to bring depth to the also-rans, but the results of that effort is basically to make those characters useless to anyone. This seems like a hugely missed opportunity to me.

Supergirl and Barry Allen died during CRISIS, yes, but they died as HEROES. BB just dies as a sad man way over his head, adding no significance, and wallowing in shock value. SHOCK IS NOT SIGNIFICANCE. What's weird is that at least one of the three primary writers of this KNOWS this -- how much of Geoff Johns' career has been spent in trying to unravel the mistakes of past adminstrations? Killing Superman, breaking Batman's back, Maiming Arther, or driving Hal insane or god the stupidity of what they did to the Hawks... none of those yeilded better stories (Well, OK, the follow ups to the Superman stuff was some of the best modern Super-comics ever, so that's one) -- quite the opposite, in fact. And DC *knows* this: shitting on your characters doesn't yeild dramatic options. In fact, it really reduces them because you've got to spend all of your effort dealing with the plot hammer stuff to the detriment of good STORIES.

Further, I just get queasy when the plot HINGES on continuity minutia (like BG's companion Skeets -- has Skeets appeared anywhere in anything in a comic published in the last 10 years? Longer? I don't think Skeets has appeared since the end of BG's series, has he? That was 1988, according to the Grand COmics Database at www.comics.org -- or 17 years ago!), yet it happily ignores OTHER continuity minutia like how Max Lord has has his mind read by the Martian Manhunter in the past, because that would undermine the plot-hammer.

The idea that Max Lord is behind this all, to me, is just about the worst idea I've ever heard. It is utterly inconsistant with past actions, and just doesn't parse in any rational way. Just about the only way this could have been worse is if it was revelaed that Ma Hunkle was the grand mastermind -- that makes about as much sense, y'know? I almost think someone should go kill Keith Giffen to see if he'll roll over in the grave.

(NOTE: DON'T DO THAT! That was a joke!)

So: ugly, illogical, plot-hammered and filled with asshats. But... at least it is only a buck! The architects say they have a plan, say this is all going somewhere and we'll be happy with the results, but I'm an inch away from just giving up on the U part of the DCU forever because it's really not a place I want to visit any longer. I'd much rather read Morrison's SEVEN SOLDIERS, y'know, where he's trying to reinject FUN rather than misery. All in all: AWFUL

(FOr a good laugh, go read Abhay Khosla's review at http://www.comicscommunity.com/boards/pop/?read=28386)

DOOM PATROL #10: That's kinda a Doom Patrol-worthy origin for those two characters, actually, and I've gone from absolutely detesting them to not TOTALLY abhoring them. Still, this is one meandering directionless book, isn't it? OK

FLASH #220: Lots of threads have been building to this for several years, but now that we're actually IN the "Rogue's War" I find I care a little less. However, this could be because this was the second comic I read this week, after COUNTDOWN. Assume it's just depressive fallout from that, then, because I say OK.

GOON DH ED #11: I loved this issue -- mean, but funny, odd and strange and filled with comic-book weirdness, and oh so very pretty. EXCELLENT.

I'm speeding up from here because I'm down to 20 minutes left to get through the rest of the books.

GRIMJACK KILLER INSTINCT #3: Liked this issue a lot, too. Great action, good dynics, smart ideas: VERY GOOD.

LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #4: Another solid issue, with a good balance of backstory and moving things forward. VERY GOOD.

MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #12: Thank god for plot-convenient lightning bolts, is all I can say. The plot-hammered MJ's gun finally comes in to play, for no valuable use of any kind. All problems are abruptly solved by the last page, making you wonder why some of it (like the financials) were ever brought into play. This has been a big waste, sorry. EH.

OR ELSE #2: Mostly mentioned so Graeme knows he should pop by. Second issue out, with some great formalistic storytelling attempts. I like Kevin's clean style (especially his lettering -- that's a dying art), but I was underwhelmed by the teeny tiny little package (especailly when not solicited as such), and I think it makes the $6 price tag verging on the steep side. Still, that aside: GOOD.

OTHERWORLD #1: Lots of setup. Lots and lots of it. So much so that it's really hard to judge the issue. The characters seem reasoanbly rich and rounded, and the events are, while a bit cliched, handled well enough, and the art, OF COURSE, is terrific -- but I'm going to need another issue, I think, to see if I LIKE it or not. This issue was just OK.

OUTSIDERS #22: Liked it all around, though the "One of us is a traitor!" is so overused that Judd needs to tread carefully. I got a good laugh out of the next issue box, though it's an obvious joke. GOOD.

PULSE #8: Thought this was terrific, just terrific writing, though plot-wise with SECRET WAR, I am not sure if this title hasn't strayed too far from it's stated point. Don;t care for now, though, I loved the dialogue so much, VERY GOOD.

SECRET WAR BOOK FOUR: This, meanwhile, I was just stunned by. Meandering and pointless and just a big excuse for a fight scene, and it's not much of a "Secret" war, is it? Show, not tell, man -- I guess we'll see in four months and the last issue if this had a point of any kind. EH.

SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN #26: Takes at least one twist that I wouldn't have given the writers credit for, so that's good. Still, just one long EH.

ULTIMATE SECRET #1: A much stronger start, I think, than NIGHTMARE's first issue. I liked this all around, dialogue, art, so VERY GOOD.

USAGI YOJIMBO #82: ANother great issue, isn't it criminal this doesn't sell 50k an issue? VERY GOOD.

PICK OF THE WEEK goes to GOON #11, I'm sure you can guess my PICK OF THE WEAK....

The BOOK / TP OF THE WEEK is a toss-up between BATMAN CHRONICLES VOL 1 TP and PLANETARY VOL 3 LEAVING THE 20TH CENTURY TP. Either are great.

OK, now I'm late, gotta run, what did you think?

-B

Fanboys, New and Old

Wow, this is turning out to be our week of content. Since my latest Fanboy has to do with summer movies of note, and since I stretched the very conception of "summer" to include the April 1 opening of Sin City, I wanted to put it up while it still carries two or so days of potential trenchant relevance. On a similar note, with Frank Miller's Sin City opening soon and some of us having gone back and reread a bunch of those fine beauties, I thought I would also link to an old FBR, wherein I try to imagine Frank Miller's Jesus!

March's order sorted by dollars

As always, I think the more telling chart -- the orders sorted by dollars. All the same caveats of the previous chart. That shakes things up a bit, huh? Thoughts, opinions, rantings? Love to hear it!

1 TOP TEN THE FORTY NINERS HC 2 GREEN LANTERN #1 3 ASTONISHING X-MEN #11 4 WORLDS GREATEST SUPER HEROES OVERSIZED SLIPCASE HC 5 ULTIMATES 2 #6 6 PLANETARY #23 7 WRATH OF THE SPECTRE TP 8 SUPERMAN BATMAN #21 9 SEVEN SOLIDERS SHINING KNIGHT #2 10 SEVEN SOLDIERS GUARDIAN #2 11 DESOLATION JONES #1 12 SUPERMAN INFINITE CITY HC 13 GIANT SIZE X-MEN #3 14 SAMURAI EXECUTIONER VOL 6 TP #6 15 VILLIANS UNITED #1 16 NEW AVENGERS #7 17 OMAC PROJECT #2 18 POWERS #11 19 JUSTICE LEAGUE ALEX ROSS SER 2 MASTER CASE ASST 20 DAREDEVIL #73 21 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #6 22 HELLBLAZER RED SEPULCHRE TP 23 TEEN TITANS #24 24 EMBROIDERIES GN 25 EX MACHINA #11 26 Y THE LAST MAN #33 27 FABLES #37 28 PULSE #9 29 YOUNG AVENGERS #4 30 ACTION COMICS #827 31 DAY OF VENGEANCE #2 32 WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE ASTONISHING X-MEN CVR #164 33 STRAY BULLETS #39 34 GOTHAM CENTRAL HALF A LIFE TP 35 ESSENTIAL DEFENDERS VOL 1 TP 36 ESSENTIAL THOR VOL 2 TP 37 UNCANNY X-MEN #459 38 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #19 39 OUTSIDERS #24 40 JSA #73 41 STRANGE #6 42 DOC FRANKENSTEIN #4 43 JLA CLASSIFIED #7 44 CONAN #16 45 JLA #114 46 X-MEN #170 47 RANN THANAGAR WAR #1 48 SUPERMAN ACTION COMICS ARCHIVES VOL 4 HC 49 GIANT SIZE MARVEL TP 50 BOLLAND STRIPS TP 51 TEEN TITANS BEAST BOYS AND GIRLS TP 52 TEZUKAS BUDDHA VOL 6 ANANDA HC 53 FRENCH KISS #13 54 MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #14 55 GOON DH ED #12 56 COMPLETE CRUMB COMICS VOL 17 SC 57 ULTIMATE X-MEN #59 58 HELLBLAZER #208 59 POWERS VOL 1 HC 60 WALT & SKEEZIX VOL 1 TP #1 61 BATMAN VILLIANS SECRET FILES 2005 62 CONAN & THE JEWELS OF GWAHLUR #2 63 OTHERWORLD #3 64 FANTASTIC FOUR #527 65 BLACK PANTHER #4 66 EXCALIBUR #13 67 EXCALIBUR #14 68 LUCIFER #62 69 CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #6 70 FLASH #222 71 THE PUNISHER #21 72 WOLVERINE #28 73 AVENGERS KANG TIME AND TIME AGAIN TP 74 GRIMJACK KILLER INSTINCT #5 75 BATMAN #640 76 X-MEN THE END HEROES AND MARTYRS #3 77 SUPERMAN #217 78 JLA ACTION FIGURE GIFT SET 79 PUNISHER CELL ONE SHOT 80 BIT OF MADNESS TP 81 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #1 82 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #2 83 LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL #3 84 AUTHORITY REVOLUTION #8 85 CITY OF TOMORROW #2 86 100 BULLETS #61 87 DETECTIVE COMICS #806 88 CAPTAIN AMERICA #7 89 SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL #4 90 MEGAMANGA VOL 22 SEX WARRIOR ISANE TP #22 91 INCREDIBLE HULK #81 92 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #77 93 WONDER WOMAN #216 94 WONDER WOMAN #217 95 USAGI YOJIMBO #84 96 JOHN CONSTANTINE HELLBLAZER SPECIAL PAPA MIDNITE #4 97 TRUE STORY SWEAR TO GOD VOL 2 THIS ONE GOES TO 11 TP #2 98 WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS GN 99 BATMAN JAM PACKED ACTION 100 GOLDEN PLATES #3

March's order sorted by pieces

This is Comix Experience's March '05 order (for May '05 shipping... we hope!), sorted by pieces (how many I ordered) This may or may not actually represent my Top 100 in May by what actually arrives that month. That's the fun part. Plus, orders can be lowered on Marvels, and raised on everything else, so call this the roadmap.

I'm very interested in any comments anyone might have!

1 ASTONISHING X-MEN #11 2 GREEN LANTERN #1 3 ULTIMATES 2 #6 4 PLANETARY #23 5 NEW AVENGERS #7 6 SUPERMAN BATMAN #21 7 SEVEN SOLIDERS SHINING KNIGHT #2 8 SEVEN SOLDIERS GUARDIAN #2 9 VILLIANS UNITED #1 10 DESOLATION JONES #1 11 OMAC PROJECT #2 12 TEEN TITANS #24 13 POWERS #11 14 UNCANNY X-MEN #459 15 ACTION COMICS #827 16 DAY OF VENGEANCE #2 17 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #19 18 DAREDEVIL #73 19 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #6 20 JLA #114 21 OUTSIDERS #24 22 EX MACHINA #11 23 Y THE LAST MAN #33 24 X-MEN #170 25 FABLES #37 26 JSA #73 27 PULSE #9 28 YOUNG AVENGERS #4 29 ULTIMATE X-MEN #59 30 RANN THANAGAR WAR #1 31 GIANT SIZE X-MEN #3 32 FLASH #222 33 WOLVERINE #28 34 BATMAN #640 35 JLA CLASSIFIED #7 36 TOP TEN THE FORTY NINERS HC 37 LUCIFER #62 38 STRAY BULLETS #39 39 CONAN #16 40 HELLBLAZER #208 41 MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #14 42 GOON DH ED #12 43 CONAN & THE JEWELS OF GWAHLUR #2 44 SUPERMAN #217 45 OTHERWORLD #3 46 FANTASTIC FOUR #527 47 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #77 48 BLACK PANTHER #4 49 STRANGE #6 50 EXCALIBUR #13 51 EXCALIBUR #14 52 DOC FRANKENSTEIN #4 53 100 BULLETS #61 54 THE PUNISHER #21 55 WONDER WOMAN #216 56 WONDER WOMAN #217 57 X-MEN THE END HEROES AND MARTYRS #3 58 CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #6 59 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #1 60 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #2 61 LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL #3 62 AUTHORITY REVOLUTION #8 63 CITY OF TOMORROW #2 64 BOOKS OF MAGICK LIFE DURING WARTIME #11 65 WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE ASTONISHING X-MEN CVR #164 66 DETECTIVE COMICS #806 67 GOTHAM CENTRAL #31 68 BIRDS OF PREY #82 69 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #520 70 CAPTAIN AMERICA #7 71 INCREDIBLE HULK #81 72 USAGI YOJIMBO #84 73 JOHN CONSTANTINE HELLBLAZER SPECIAL PAPA MIDNITE #4 74 BILLY THE KIDS OLD TIME ODDITIES #2 75 SAMURAI EXECUTIONER VOL 6 TP #6 76 BLOOD OF THE DEMON #3 77 SLEEPER SEASON TWO #12 78 MNEMOVORE #2 79 GIRLS #1 80 SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL #4 81 X-23 #6 82 GRIMJACK KILLER INSTINCT #5 83 NEW X-MEN #13 84 NEW X-MEN #14 85 BATMAN VILLIANS SECRET FILES 2005 86 GREEN ARROW #50 87 JUSTICE LEAGUE ELITE #11 88 WALKING DEAD #20 89 HUNTER KILLER #3 90 GLA #2 91 RUNAWAYS #4 92 PREVIEWS VOL XV #5 93 ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #640 94 PLASTIC MAN #16 95 EXILES #64 96 CATWOMAN #43 97 NIGHTWING #108 98 MARVEL KNIGHTS 4 #18 99 RAZORS EDGE REDBIRD #3 100 NEW THUNDERBOLTS #8 101 PUNISHER CELL ONE SHOT

Comics arriving 3/30

And it's the last week that's the ball-breaker, hooray! Lotsa stuff this week,, what looks good to you?

ALONG THE CANADIAN #6 (OF 6) AMAZING JOY BUZZARDS #4 ASTONISHING X-MEN #9 BATGIRL #62 BATMAN #638 BETTY & VERONICA DOUBLE DIGEST #132 BPRD THE DEAD #5 (OF 5) BUGTOWN #4 (OF 6) CASEFILES SAM & TWITCH #15 CASTLEVANIA THE BELMONT LEGACY #1 (OF 5) CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #4 (OF6) DAMN NATION #2 (OF 3) DAREDEVIL REDEMPTION #3 (OF 6) DC COUNTDOWN TO INFINITE CRISIS #1 DOCTOR SPECTRUM #6 (OF 6) DONT EAT THE ELECTRIC SHEEP #4 DOOM PATROL #10 ELKS RUN VOL 1 #1 ERIC REDS CONTAINMENT #3 (OF 4) FANTASTIC FOUR #524 FLASH #220 GI JOE #41 GOD THE DYSLEXIC DOG #2 GOON DH ED #11 GRIMJACK KILLER INSTINCT #3 (OF 6) JANES WORLD #18 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #4 MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #12 MEAT CAKE #14 OCEAN #5 (OF 6) OR ELSE #2 OTHERWORLD #1 (OF 12) OUTSIDERS #22 POPBOT READER #1 PULSE #8 REX MUNDI #13 RICHARD DRAGON #11 SECRET WAR BOOK FOUR (OF FIVE) SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN #26 STICKY #2 (A) TALES OF TEENAGE MUTANT NINJATURTLES #8 TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #31 TEEN TITANS GO #17 TEMPORARY THE REAL ME #2 TRAILER PARK OF TERROR COLOR SPECIAL #2 ULTIMATE SECRET #1 (OF 4) USAGI YOJIMBO #82 VERONICA #160 VICTORY VOL 2 CVR A FRANCISCO #3 (Of 4) X-23 #4 (OF 6) X-FORCE SHATTERSTAR #2 (OF 3) X-MEN AGE OF APOCALYPSE #5 (OF 6) X-MEN PHOENIX ENDSONG #4 (OF 5)

Books / Mags / Stuff BATMAN CHRONICLES VOL 1 TP BRAVE AND THE BOLD TEAM UP ARCHIVES VOL 1 HC BRICKMAN BEGINS TP CLIVE BARKERS THIEF OF ALWAYSVOL 2 TP DRAW #10 EL NINO TP ESSENTIAL TOMB OF DRACULA VOL4 TP EXILES VOL 9 BUMP IN THE NIGHT TP HELLO AGAIN GN JUNIOR PIRATES VOL 1 BEGINNINGS JUSTICE LEAGUE ALEX ROSS SER 1 MASTER CASE ASST MADROX MULTIPLE CHOICE TP MAJESTIC STRANGE NEW VISITOR TP MINISULK GN NANCY DREW VOL 1 GN NEGIMA VOL 5 GN OTHELLO VOL 3 GN PASSION VOL 2 GN PLANETARY VOL 3 LEAVING THE 20TH CENTURY TP SPIDER-GIRL VOL 3 AVENGING ALLIES DIGEST TP STAR WARS EPISODE III REVENGEOF THE SITH TP SUPERMAN FOR TOMORROW VOL 1 HC WALLFLOWER VOL 3 GN WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE #163 X-FORCE CABLE VOL 1 LEGEND RETURNS TP X-MEN COMPLETE AGE OF APOCALYPSE EPIC BOOK 1 TP

The Easter Feast: Reviews of 3/23 Comics

Dear God, he did it. Hibbs actually posted! I am very pleased and impressed. Of course, now I'm in his position, of trying to figure out how to write about the same books without saying the same god-damn thing but that's okay. I'm just so tickled he's posted, I'll happily expose the rest of you to a pointless double-post! So on that merry note:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #518: Really glad Hibbs reviewed this first, because I was starting to feel like an AMS whiner. Plus, some of the stuff I've bitched about gets mentioned in passing in the script itself (a caption mentioning The Molten Man; a caption mentioning Peter calling MJ) but they actually hinder the narrative. And believe me, if there's one thing this narrative didn't need, it was more hindering. Eh.

ARANA HEART OF THE SPIDER #3: I admit that I dove in cold on this issue (I read maybe the first four pages of issue #1 before getting distracted) but it seems like it could be much, much clearer: one of the pages has two women in mid-fight scene when, the last time we saw either, one was in a car and one was diving out of a helicopter. Although not anything new, the emotional drama (Arana’s classmate is her nemesis; her father’s line of work interferes with hers) is solid; it’s the structural drama that sucks: not only is Arana outrageously passive about the whole classmate/enemy situation (he plans a trap that will destroy her; she goes window-shopping for tattoos with a friend), she’s got a whole superteam that only exists to set up situations and/or solve problems. At the risk of sounding like a page out of Robert McKee’s Story, how can we connect with the protagonist when she’s utterly passive and reactive? (Ugh, I really do sound like a page out of Robert McKee’s Story...) A very low Eh.

AUTHORITY REVOLUTION #6: Utterly without oomph. Although I have other ideas as to why this all went wrong, I will, at the moment, point to the story, which strikes me as alternately unbelievable and dull. I’m going to go with Awful just because I got my hopes up for this arc and am pretty much regretting it.

CHOLLY & FLYTRAP #2 (OF 4): Very lovely looking stuff, and it did make me nostalgic for those days of Heavy Metal when you could pick that mag up knowing you were going to get a dose of sumptious grit. But times have changed, and I expect more from my pretty pictures now—a feeling compounded when reading the book’s closing profile pieces which, if self-authored, make Sudyam seem like a narcissist of a very high order. OK, but no more than that.

DAREDEVIL #71: Reads a bit less like Krzysztof Kieslowski’s Decalogue, and a bit more like John Hughes’ The Breakfast Club, than I would have expected, but I’m sure that’s just me. I kinda liked the big fight scene, but it leaves a lot for the reader to infer about the character telling the story and any of the resultant change she went through. And it’s harder for me to give Bendis the benefit of the doubt these days in such matters, unfortunately, so I gotta sit with OK.

ED THE HAPPY CLOWN #1 (OF 9): Everything about this—the price, the quarterly production schedule, that it was printed on the paper towels dispensed in restaurants, Brown’s “this is the only way you’ll ever see this material again, unless I change my mind again, in which case, it won’t!”—annoyed me…until I actually started reading it. Brown’s chops were considerable when he started working on this, but leaning so heavily on his subconscious to provide the story gives the story a freshness and dreamlike allure that can still hold me enthralled all later. Can only give it a Good (and I shouldn't even give it that, probably), because, really, $2.95 and quarterly publication for completed material printed on industrial strength paper towels, is dangerously close to being a rip-off.

EXPATRIATE #1: Starting the story in media res and at a fast pace is a great idea, and there’s a level of ambition and competence that makes me want to pick up the next issue. But there are some minuses (Hibbs' reference to the colors being “hideous and garish” is actually an understatement, and I don’t understand how the couple get away from that last shoot-out unless the agents just let them go) that are a little troubling, and put this on the low side of OK.

FUTURAMA SIMPSONS CROSSOVER CRISIS PART 2 #2 (OF 2): I liked part one a lot more, but the whole thing was on the high side of Good—it read like a classic, clever silver-age JLA/JSA crossover, but, you know, funny and with the Bongo characters. Like I said: Good.

HAWKMAN #38: Making Hawkgirl “just” the love interest really misunderstands how Geoff Johns set up this reboot, I think. I also have a big case of the don’t cares where Golden Eagle is concerned. Pretty art, though. Eh.

LEGEND #2 (OF 4): Hibbs and I really disagree on this one I wish I knew how much of this material is patented Chaykin hyper-libido and how much of it comes from the original source material: there may be some perspective gained on the Superman/Lois relationship if the sexual dread found here was in Wylie’s original (and rubbed off on Siegel and Shuster’s creation). And there's something to be said about a story about someone with superpowers where either fighting or committing crime doesn't seem to be part of the equation. Other than that, it reads like a bad first novel illustrated by an indifferent Russ Heath. Fascinating in its stinkiness, but the price point keeps it at Awful.

LIVEWIRES #2 (OF 6): As Hibbs pointed out, too much like the first issue to really be satisfying, although lots of very neat touches like the seven cognitive frames panel (between this and We3, I'm kind of eager to see someone try an extended bit of super-saturated panel information, which, now that I think of it, is the sort of thing Chris Ware's been fooling around with for some time). I thought it was fun, so it's a low Good, but I feel guilty for doing so becuase I've given tons of books shit for doing exactly this sort of "the same issue twice" thing.

NEW AVENGERS #4: The “good” news is that continuity is back: those of us wondering what happened to Wolverine in the Uncanny storyline have a piece of the answer thanks to the last page here. (And this follows a trend I’ve noticed at Marvel the last few months with some books making slight references to events in other books). The bad news is internal continuity is gone, gone, gone: So much was made of Elektro eating at the same restaurant in Boston for three weeks, but then the waitress there says to Elektro she hasn’t seen him for two. Meanwhile we’re supposed to believe that Captain America was able to assemble the team and Stark had set up his entire base of operations in just twenty-four hours? The art looks great, with the colorist, I think, really adding an almost 3-D feel to the art but there are just so many “wha?” and “huh?” and “but...” a guy can ask before rolling his eyes and just deciding: Eh.

NEW INVADERS #8: I thought of Spurgeon’s great John Romita interview over at The Comics Reporter (taken down now, alas) while reading this: we finally got a big fight scene, but it’s so static and limp it’s painful. (And that panel of Captain America making out with Union Jack while Spitfire freaks out was just funny.) The superhero medium is going through growing pains and so you just can’t have that “silent movie acting” that Romita talks about anymore—but then you miss out on an easy transition to the sheer kineticism of a Kirby-styled fight scene, to say nothing on what to do when you’re not styling fight scenes around Kirby anymore. However the problem’s solved, this talking-heads-followed-by mannequins-falling-over-each-other isn’t it. At eight issues in, I’ve decided New Invaders is probably the dullest superhero comic Marvel’s ever published. It’s like watching paint dry, but without the fun of smelling the fumes. Awful.

NEW WEST #1: Wanted to like this—something about the opening page drew me right in—but why bother explaining something to such great length if it doesn’t make any sense? Los Angeles has all electricity wiped out...but only Los Angeles? The rest of the world has power but L.A. doesn’t? So why don’t people just drive some cars up from San Diego? Listen, if you want your private eye on a horse with a samurai sword, go for it (look at Cholly & Flytrap). But if you feel you have to explain yourself, at least come up with something that makes sense at least a little. Phil Noto’s art seemed a million times more fluid than the last time I looked, but at $4.99, this gets an Awful, and another area where me and Hibbs really split. [EDIT: Frank S. Kim schools me good in the comments section on this, leaving me little choice but to conclude I read the damn thing too fast and stuff is better fleshed out than I thought. Fair enough; I'll bump it up to an Eh just because it obviously wasn't my bag, and point you to Brian's more positive review.]

SEVEN SOLDIERS GUARDIAN #1: Wow. This was absurdly great. from the few deliberately over-the-top captions, to the quickly sketched out history of the subway pirates, to just having the newsboy legion reintroduced in a way that makes them seem cool—this was a great big slice of fried gold. At the two-fisted top of Very Good.

SPAWN #144: If you cross a ‘70s Marvel comic with an iceberg, you get Spawn. I actually liked some of the ideas and scenes here, particularly Mammon plucking Simmons’ memories from him, one by one (and I'm always a sucker for stories with tarot cards in them, ever since that one Son of Satan story way back when). But this book seems essentially cowardly to me—it will set up a new status quo without ever resolving any of the old status quo, as if a finger was constantly trembling over a big ol’ reset button. OK, but frustrating in its miserliness.

SPIDER MAN HUMAN TORCH #3: If you are a fan of Marvel Comics in the ‘70s, then you should pick this up because it has everything a Marvel fan from that era would love: an actual explanation of how the Spider-Mobile works, Red Ghost and The Super-Apes; the Torch’s red costume (which is a beautifully specific detail that all but carbon dates the continuity on the story); and, of course, a few well-placed fruit pies (I wrote this back before Hibbs' review, so there's probably no need for me to phrase that so elegantly, but still....). Don’t get me wrong, even if you’re not a 70’s nut, you’ll appreciate the very elegant craft of Slott’s script where both the plot and the humor build perfectly off each previous piece. But if you’re like me and read all your issues of Spider-Man and Marvel Team-Up ten times apiece, you’ll think this is Very Good stuff (even though the art is a bit vexing). If not for Guardian, this might have been my Pick of the Week.

X-MEN #168: Hibbs is high on crack. This issue stank; last issue stank; Vulcan logic dictates next issue will stink because drug-induced character revelation when the writer doesn't understand the characters will stink. Even Larroca isn't trying anymore and that guy, Lord love him, will work his ass off trying to make anything work. Awful.

Whew. That was a plump little Easter Basket of spite, wasn't it? But never mind that: go hunt up the good stuff because some of it (Guardian!) was really quite good.

Reviews for 2/23, OMG!

The grandparents took Ben this morning, so, woot! Looks like I can good a good morning start on this, and maybe Jeff won't have to "hold off" this week after all. Within an hour of posting my last post, Ben ran through almost all of the letters he has left in his alphabet. Oh, sure, he still mixes up his E and his F, but when you correct him, he corrects himself just fine after that. W is "Ag-gah", but it's consistant, and he says it with such verve that we can let his baby palate slide there.

I still haven't read 100% of this week's books (92% and holding, Captain!), but let's take the opportunity while we have it before I have to go into the store, do inventory, then come back and start working on both the PREVIEWS that is due, as well as the April sub forms.... god, the work never stops, does it?

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #518: Ah, the Shared Universe problem. Spidey calls on Iron Man to help, but never for a second asks Tony to actually help help him. Sure, you think your wife and mother-figure are going to be killed by a crazy bastard, and you don't ask the guy in the metal suit with the howitzers to help you fight a battle. That parses. Then, since the plot dictates that Spidey & co will move into the Avengers tower or whatever, everyone's houses have to get destroyed, but no one shows any remorse of any kind. I'll tell you what, if all of my shit got destroyed -- especially by Retro-Continuity Implant Guy -- I'd be pretty fucking distraught about it. Especially if I already had an enemy who had functionally the same powers (Molten Man). I don't know, our Spidey sales have cut themselves nearly in half post-Gwen-is-a-Whore, and I can't say I blame anyone, really. I wouldn't pay soon-to-be-$2.50 for padding and convenience like this. EH.

ARANA HEART OF THE SPIDER #3: I really don't know -- 9 issues of this character so far and I don't see a real point or purpose, or, hell, audience for it. The characters just not very appealing, and, yikes, her costume stinks. There's momentary flashes of cleverness here (The "I can't leave the building" thing, some of the High School stuff), but there's far too many other characters running around at this stage of the game, and secret socieites are so played out. Sorry, Charlie, last issue I'm going to bother to read. EH.

ARMY OF DARKNESS SHOP TIL YOUDROP DEAD #2: With so many bits recribbed from the movie, and a decidely rushed-looking job on the art (we're at 2 months late as it is), these feels just like running in place. EH.

AUTHORITY REVOLUTION #6: I haven't got any fucking idea what's going on here, and everyone seems completely out of character to me. I have to assume Ed is going somewhere with this, but if he is, I have no idea where it is. AWFUL.

BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #63: When I said in last week's TILTING AT WINDMILLS that there are too many comics, here's exhibit A. Why is this being published? Why was this ever being published? Lots of plot, very little organic characterization, and I swear to god, I really hate Hush the more he appears here in GK. AWFUL.

DAREDEVIL #71: Hey, finally a comic I liked! I can quibble (the fight scnee dragged on too long, and I'm really not sure WHAT kind of an inspiriation DD provided to the girl... she gonna throw on tights and beat the crap outta people now herself?), but I very much liked the setting and set-up for this arc, and thought this was a solid GOOD.

ED THE HAPPY CLOWN #1: Man, that cover is unbearably pretentious (Calling this work "Chester Brown's First Graphic Novel" is, at best, a ret con), and that's just a horrifically awful paper stock that it is there on, and Chester's editorial kinda indicates that you probably don't want this version anyway, because the new collection will be a revised one, and while I really really really love this work, that's 1, 2, 3 strikes at the old ball game, knocking the Savage Critic grade down to an OK. This version is probably only for you if you want to read Chet's annotations at the end, otherwise, wait the 2 or 3 years or whatever it is going to take (dumb not doing this as a monthly reprinting, if you ask me) for the TP to come out and read it then. It is hysterical and askew and top notch work, but this package is yucky and weird and wrong -- over $30 for the whole thing when it's done? Uh, what?

EXCALIBUR #11: See, and I feel like a shmucky philistine of an ass ripping on Chet, with the first sentence of the next paragraph being, "This is a marked improvement in the quality of EXCALIBUR". But, damn if it isn't. Maybe because this seemed to actually be about something (Magneto's actions), for the first time in 11 issues. This is another "I have no idea whatsoever why this is being published" book, but this one issue I thought was a very very low GOOD.

EXPATRIATE #1: Not too bad, though I thought the colors was pretty hideous and garish. This feels like I've heard this story before, somewhere, but the line art was nice enough that I could give it an OK.

FILLER BUNNY #3: Prepare to Wuv Aborto! And that was probably the most tasteful thing in the book. Yet, I laughed in many many places. I give it a solid GOOD.

[Gr, nope wait, called away to watch some TV we recorded over the last week ("I need to free up the tapes, so come now!") -- watched the American remake of THE OFFICE (Good, but I don't know if America can handle the uncomfortable nature of the show -- most of the events just happen note-for-note as in the original, with just a few Americanizations) and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (what a great SF show!), and now I have to fly off to work to do this week's inventory and back issue management. Back in a bit]

[Back, and here's the rest....]

FUTURAMA SIMPSONS CROSSOVER CRISIS PART 2 #2: Many of the in jokes and references were funny, but, if anything, I thought this issue was nearly "too dense" with stuff, creating an uneven narrative. A high OK.

HAWKMAN #38: Golden Eagle?!?! Are there more than 6 people who might care about him? I mean, wow! I was also nearly surprised that it was kept in-continuity (but, people: ED. NOTES, man. Gotta cite that shit), rather than being a new teen hero who could join the Titans. I thought the story was solid enough, and a nice attempt at building a "Rogue's Gallery" for Hawkie, but the bomb thing at the end was kinda deadening. So, let's also call this a lowish GOOD.

HELLBLAZER #206: The wife-beating thing took this farther than it should have, I think -- long-suffering Chas, well you can wreck his car, or have him take a beating or something, but this didn't seem "fair" to the character... not after 206 issues, at least. A strong OK on because I think Chas should be off limits.

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #101: hurray, back to the storylines. I know, I know, you don't want to hear me talk about the gamer comic with the lousy art, but, damn you this is the funniest "funnybook" published each month. I'd still rather have only the comics, and not the gaming stuff, and pay a buck less per issue, but whatchugonnado? VERY GOOD.

LEGEND #2: In which Russ Heath gets to draw lots of titties. Lots and lots and lots of them -- some even in wildly out-of-place situations. They're also all perfectly perfect, which kinda bugged me, but what do I know? I very much liked the story, but there were certainly places where I couldn't figure out a transition, or who was speaking to who or why, and I think the issue could have stood a bit more editing. (Just like this column, man was that a run on sentence or what?) Anyway, a really high OK, but the cover price stops me from being able to say "Good"

LIVEWIRES #2: This suffered even more than the first issue from over-exposition, in a lot of places just restating what we already knew. Yet, there were some cool ideas and scenes here, and it was incredibly frenetic in a fun way, so I'll be generous and give it a low GOOD.

NEW AVENGERS #4: Bendis is finding his sea legs - this was certainly my favorite of the eight issues so far. But, man, pay attention to what you're saying. Jeff'll be along any moment with the "I can't figure out how much time has passed" problem; me, I was bemused by the "previously in" page whihc talk about how they broke up the old Avengers because they didn't want to deal with politics and money and all of that. So what do the first few pages deal with? Sure, politics and money. There were fun beats, yes, but it's really not holding together as a team book at all. The fun beats earn it an OK.

NEW WEST #1: While Jeff was right in observing that the scenerio doesn't make much sense vis-a-vis the balckout and the timeline, I didn't really care all that much. I liked the execution of the book, I liked the style, and while it's probably bloodier than it needs be, I thought it was GOOD fun.

NEW X-MEN #11: And it was all a dream! Well, of course it was, but that's a little long for dream story, don't you think? EH.

NIGHTWING #106: The end of the "year one" arc, and I really had to suspend my disbeleif a lot for everyone's reactions to Jason. But, whatever. This was fine, but the middle of the arc was much better. OK

RUNAWAYS #2: I really love how this is creating it's own little internal world in the greater Marvel universe. I'm really liking this book. VERY GOOD.

SEVEN SOLDIERS GUARDIAN #1: Dude! Best comic I've read so far this year. It has it all -- absurdity, action, imagination, fun, and a positive outlook -- this comic might be able to cure cancer. Pirates of the Subway lines, man, what a killer idea. Loud sour note right at the end with the "Hahahaha, we have your family!" bit, because that's dramatically lazy, and every other page is singing like a fire pole too the moon. Still, can't say anything else than EXCELLENT, and, no suspense here, PICK OF THE WEEK.

SLEEPER SEASON TWO #10: Two more to go, can this all be wrapped up satisfactorially? Oh, I think so, and this may be my favorite single issue of all 22 so far. VERY GOOD.

SPELLBINDERS #1: A neat idea, and, relatively, well executed (the cast is a bit too large, and some of the wicks voices seem a bit forced), but the actually strange thing is that this is a Marvel comic. I can't really see Marvel being estatic about the kind of numbers this is likely to pull, where at Vertigo, this could be a top seller as a monthly. Maybe is something about eggs and baskets. Anyway, yah, I liked it, and give it an easy GOOD.

SPIDER MAN HUMAN TORCH #3: Yes, I howled with laughter at the fruit pie explanation. This really does has it all for goofy-ass comics: Spider-Mobiles and Super Apes and Fruit Pies. Mm, Fruit pies.... GOOD.

X-MEN #168: I think it's marginally possible that next issues "trapped in the mansion, they sweat the drugs out" could be great, but, if so, damn was that a long bad build up to get there. EH.

PICK OF THE WEEK, as I said, is easially and happily SEVEN SOLDIERS: GUARDIAN #1. That much fun should be illegal.

PICK OF THE WEAK.... well, lessee, probably GOTHAM KNIGHTS #63. I'm pretty ambivilant this week because SS: G #1 makes up for like 50 bad comics.

The TP/GN PICK OF THE WEEK is.... either AVENGERS ASSEMBLE VOL 2 HC which has the second half of Busiek & Perez's run on Avengers or QUEEN & COUNTRY VOL 7 OPERATION SADDLEBAGS TP. I think the nudge goes to Q&C

Right, that's it for the week, and before it is "Too late", hurray! Thanks to Lester for putting up with my unreasonable madness!

As always, what did you think?

-B

Picks for 3/16 and shipping 3/23

It's true, dear god it IS true, I AM the World's Worst Blogger. See, here's the thing: I function really well with a deadline. "You must get this done by such-and-such" works well with my lifestyle. I am goal-oriented, or something.

But the deadline has to be "real". Like, I can writing a TILTING once a month, because, y'know, Newsaram is paying me, and if I don't give it to Brady by the Thursday before it runs, then I'm in deep shit. Not with him, of course, but with myself.

On the other hand, because I'm goal-oriented, I'm also the worlds biggest fucking procrastinator. I usually have 20 plates spinning, so "me time" is precious, and if I DON'T have the deadline, I push it back and back and back until I never get anything done at all.

I was motivated this week, I was GOING to post on Friday, but then Lester sent me all of the ONOMATOPOEIA stuff, and boom! new goal, y'know?

Because my motivation is kinda "beating Jeff Lester". I lose a lot of my steam when Jeff gets his reviews up first, 'cuz, y'know, "what's the point" if he's already handled a title? So, I think I'm going to ask Jeff to hold off on posting (but not writing) his piece unless I've posted yet.... unless I fuck up, and don't post by Sunday or so. Maybe we'll try this for a week, unless it has the same effect on Jeff that it does me.

In Ben news, he's slowed down in his alphabet pretty dramatically -- he still has like 5 letters he hasn't mastered (E, I, T, W, and Y for those playing at home), but he's decided that numbers are cool too, and is busy trying to sort those out. He has about 9 numbers through to 20 (thank you, Sesame Street!)

He also said his first sentence to me. He was playing with a ball, and it got stuck where he couldn't get to it. So, he marched right up to me, pointed to me and demanded, "Up! Baw!", then pointed to the ball. It couldn't not have been more clear. "Get off your ass, old man, and fetch my ball!"

I really only am going to do the picks for last week's comics because, let's face it, it's already Wednesday.

My PICK OF THE WEAK was not the worst comic of last week (HUMAN RACE #1, maybe?), but the one that squandered potential the most: TEEN TITANS #22. Y'know, there was an interesting through-line that could have been actually explored there: if the heroes are brainwashing their foes, and even their allies (like Batman), were they doing the same to their kids as well? That could have been a fascinating and taut psychological concept, and, instead we just get 22 pages of largely incoherant fight scenes. I suppose I can vagually understand how Dr. Light can control Superboy's heat vision, but wtf was up with Wonder Girl's lasso? "Of course I can control LIGHTning, I am Dr. Light!" Uh, what? Plus we get just about the worst reintroduction of all of a new revamped character (Hawk & Dove, who just show up out of the blue, and babble a lot), and that dumb last page where every titan every shows up to fight Dr. Light. Seriously, kids, Dr. Light simply isn't that scary, even if he appeared in IDENTIRAPE CRISIS. This comic was pretty much the reason people say they don't like Super-hero comics,and it was really AWFUL.

Oh, god, speaking of awful, I saw both CATWOMAN and THE PUNISHER this week, as the library finally got copies in (Like I'm going to pay for those films?!?!?), and yikies! CATWOMAN was an abortion -- almost certainly the worst "superhero" movie I've ever seen (and that likely includes the JLA TV pilot with David Ogden Stiers as the Martian Manhunter) featuring stocker-than-stock characters, a wooden, and utterly predicitble script, and horrific acting. It's MST3k-level bad. THE PUNISHER also sucked, but that's mostly because they spend nearly 40 minutes to build up the backstory (why? It's the PUNISHER people want to see, not his happy family life), and, actually, there's hardly any blood at all. Seriously, there's the scene where the mob wipes out Castle's entire family (no, I mean ENTIRE family -- it's a family reunion in Puetro Rico), and the ground is littered with corpses from the submachinegun fire, and my mind was registering nothing except "Why is there no blood? Where is the blood?!"

My PICK OF THE WEEK is probably no surprise: SHAOLIN COWBOY #2. Terrific fucking art by Darrow, and the wonderfully absurd and surreal script makes that the clear, EXCELLENT, winner.

For the BOOK / TP OF THE WEEK, I'll go with STARMAN V10 SONS OF THE FATHER, a great end to a great series, and, even reading it years removed like this, made me shed a tear at a certain point. Great stuff, go buy it.

Right, "full" reviews of THIS weeks books in just a couple of days, here's what's shipping...

100 BULLETS #59 2000 AD #1427 2000 AD #1428 30 DAYS OF NIGHT BLOODSUCKERSTALES #6 ALAN MOORES HYPOTHETICAL LIZARD WRAPAROUND CVR #2 (OF 4) AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #518 ARANA HEART OF THE SPIDER #3 ARCHIE & FRIENDS #90 ARCHIE DIGEST #215 ARMY OF DARKNESS SHOP TIL YOUDROP DEAD #2 AUTHORITY REVOLUTION #6 (OF 12) BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #63 BOOKS OF MAGICK LIFE DURING WARTIME #9 BRIAN PULIDOS MEDIEVAL LADY DEATH #1 CARTOON NETWORK BLOCK PARTY #7 CHOLLY & FLYTRAP #2 (OF 4) CONAN #14 DAREDEVIL #71 ED THE HAPPY CLOWN #1 (OF 9) EXCALIBUR #11 EXPATRIATE #1 FILLER BUNNY #3 FREAKSHOW #4 FUTURAMA SIMPSONS CROSSOVER CRISIS PART 2 #2 (OF 2) GARTH ENNIS 303 WRAPAROUND CVR #4 (OF 6) HAWKMAN #38 HELLBLAZER #206 JLA CLASSIFIED #5 KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #101 LEGEND #2 (OF 4) LITTLE SCROWLIE #9 LIVEWIRES #2 (OF 6) METAL GEAR SOLID #7 NEW AVENGERS #4 NEW INVADERS #8 NEW WEST #1 NEW X-MEN #11 NIGHTWING #106 OFFICIAL HANDBOOK MARVEL UNIVERSE X-MEN AGE APOCALYPSE 2005 PHANTOM #5 PIGTALE #2 ROBIN #136 ROGUE #9 RUNAWAYS #2 (OF 12) RUNAWAYS LTD ED VARIANT #1 (OF 12) SEVEN SOLDIERS GUARDIAN #1 (OF 4) SLEEPER SEASON TWO #10 (OF 12) SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #147 SOULFIRE #4 SPAWN #144 SPELLBINDERS #1 (OF 6) SPIDER MAN HUMAN TORCH #3 (OF5) STAR WARS OBSESSION #4 (OF 5) STAR WARS REPUBLIC #74 TALES OF BLOODY MARY #1 (OF 8) THE BALLAD OF SLEEPING BEAUTY #8 THE INCREDIBLES #4 (OF 4) TRIGGER #4 UDON CANNON BUSTERS CVR A #1 UNCLE SCROOGE #340 WALT DISNEYS COMICS & STORIES #655 WOLVERINE SOULTAKER #2 (OF 5) X-MEN #168 X-MEN AGE OF APOCALYPSE #4 (OF 6)

Books / Mags / Stuff 2000 AD EXTREME ED #8 ANITA BOMBA BY CROMWELL AND GRATIEN HC VOL 4 AVENGERS ASSEMBLE VOL 2 HC AZPIRI DEMONWINDS HC BATTLE ROYALE VOL 12 GN (OF 13) BODY BY TAYLOR GIRLS & OTHER MUSINGS TP COMICS BUYERS GUIDE MAY05 #1604 ESSENTIAL ARSENIC LULLABY VOL1 TP FRAGILE TP FRANKENSTEIN NOW AND FOREVER GN GIANT ROBOT #36 HELLSING VOL 6 TP JAMES BOND CASINO ROYALE TP JUDGE DREDD DREDD VS DEATH TP OVERSTREET COMIC BOOK PG VOL 35 IRON MAN SC PREVIEWS VOL XV #4 QUEEN & COUNTRY VOL 7 OPERATION SADDLEBAGS TP REVENGE OF COUNT SKARBEK GN RG VEDA VOL 1 GN SCREEN POWER OFF JACKIE CHAN MAG VOL 6 #4 SFX #128 SIGLO FREEDOM TP SUGAR BUZZ VOL 1 YOUR TICKET TO HAPPINESS TP SWORD OF THE DARK ONES VOL 1 TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #132 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN VOL 12 SUPERSTARS TP WAKE VOL 6 & 7 WIZARD BEST OF BASIC TRAININGDLX TP WOLVERINE CLASSIC VOL 1 TP

Jeff's Reviews for 3/16

I am always amused and impressed at what a bad blogger Hibbs is. After all, just yesterday, he posted a new Tilting at Windmills at Newsarama, a really lovely little piece that not only brings up some great points, but is a bit of a love letter to the comics stores he knew as a kid. You'd think he'd be posting here, pointing you to it, trumpeting his greatness, etc., right? No dice.

So I figure the least I can do is post the link for him (the discussion thread is chugging along nicely, too) before getting around to this week's books. I just finished writing 7,000 words for the CE newsletter so I may have already passed my limit for writing coherently about comics. If so, I apologize.

ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #638: Rucka's very clever idea about Mxy (since he appears every 90 days, he should pop up every three issues or so) sounds much better than it reads, for any number of reasons. Hibbs had some impassioned argument about the mistake of introducing real time into the books that I had fun rolling my eyes at ("...which means that Superman is now at least 87 years old!") but my complaint is far more practical: Mxy is pretty played at once a year unless you've got a great take on him; at four times a year, he's really played out, maybe even if you do have a great take. Rucka may think he's got that (Mxy is kind of both Daffy and the animator in "Duck, Amuck" simultaneously) but I hope this issue might correct him: it was kind of a train wreck, with the idea of Lois and Kent having a kid explored in a way that was supposed to read as wacky and incisive but was no more than flat and obvious riffing. The ideas were more-or-less sound, but the execution was, at best, Eh.

BIRDS OF PREY #80: I kinda fade in and out on this book: for each thing I like (the Rose and Thorn tie-in), there's pretty much one thing I don't (I know I'm a jaded comic book reader, but one guy with a gun in a stairwell against two superheroes and a cop is not an exciting dramatic showdown--even if Gail goes out of her way to let us know it's a very, very narrow stairwell). The art seems less exploitive these days, Simone gives her characters a lot of depth, and she seems very "on" with regard to her research (that opening surgery scene was pretty cool) but this still feels like a long way from firing on all cylinders. Eh.

BLACK PANTHER #2: Okay, so last issue Hudlin re-introduced the one Black Panther story everyone does (the return of Klaw) and follows it up with the other Black Panther story everyone does ("T'Challa's throne is rightfully mine!"). And for this they had to wipe out all previous continuity? Also keen was how Hudlin wrote the big fight scene with an idea ("anyone who can defeat the Panther can take the throne!") he seemed to realize was a bad one and undercut it as it progressed ("So it's a good thing only someone in the Royal Family has ever beaten The Panther! Ever! And no one ever thinks that's rigged! Because Wakanda is really cool!") rather than just throw it away and start over. I'm really, sadly underwhelmed. A very low Eh.

CABLE/DEADPOOL #13: A fun read if you like Deadpool (which I do) and you don't think about it too hard (which I didn't). Cable/Deadpool is kinda turning out to be the Power Man & Iron Fist of the new millennium: a financially expedient team-up book of two very different characters that somehow manages to work (in large part because of Fabian Nicieza's scripting). Call me crazy, but I thought this was Good.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #4: Unless the subtext to Brubaker's first arc is a dire warning about the future of transportation, maybe he should stop having Cap getting into fights while in transit to someplace else. This is the second time in four issues, at least. That said, I did like this issue and it feels like things are building to a head so: Good.

CATWOMAN #41: Part of why I thought the more cartooned look was such a great choice for Brubaker's work on Catwoman was that it allowed the reader a bit of distance from the relatively bleak setting of runaway prostitutes, junkies and corruption. I really would have preferred a bit of that here, where the opening scene of the guy killing the dog and killing the streetwalker had me cringing. It's actually decent stuff--much, much better than that Wooden Nickel story--but I finished this issue feeling a bit skeevy. OK.

EX MACHINA #9: I don't think I can say anything new here--I started the title kinda dreading the gay marriage press conference but appreciated the turn it took, and thought the showdown with the female reporter was smartly done. Not thrilled with the last page but this is undeniably Good work.

EXILES #61: The team here continues to keep the pace fast, and we're more or less out of the AoA business as quickly as we got into it, which suits me fine. Bedard also does a very good job setting up conflicts that come from characters acting intelligently, and we need more of that in superhero books. If there's a problem, it's that the fight scenes are unexciting but I'd think they'd be hard to make interesting without slowing down the pace. A very high OK.

HUMAN RACE #1: The art was nice and expressive, but there's some disturbingly obvious padding (It's not enough that the mother runs up the stairs and yells, the father has to be shown running up the stairs too, so the sequence can fill three pages instead of two) and occasional bits of brainlessness that I'm not sure any first issue in this marketplace can afford. I'm simultaneously relieved and disappointed the super-powered fraternity thing isn't the easy target for jokes it might be, but wonder if Raab might not have had better luck taking that route and running with it: this feels generic. Eh.

HUMAN TARGET #20: A taut and smart storyline, and stronger than the book's been in while. Yet, the cliffhanger feels somehow simultaneously underdeveloped and forced--I can't believe Chance would be so blase about the whole situation as the ending has him. But, you know, Good.

INCREDIBLE HULK #79: It looks great--just amazing stuff to look at--and David's Hulk is an enjoyably genuine bastard. But I found the other characters' dialogue flat and grating--David's "wink, wink, nod, nod" approach to the reader has become more of a "twitch, twitch, grimace, grimace" and makes it really hard to invest any emotion in the story. OK, because the art and colors on this are super-sweet.

JLA #112: Doing stories in a "widescreen" style is a bit like telling a joke--if the pacing's off, forget about it. And this seemed really off, as three big fight scenes take place simultaneously but read to me like a big jumble of who/what/where/don't care. The dialogue seemed very, very flat as well. (I don't know if the Qwardians have previously used "Spent shafts!" as their oath of choice, but it sounds so porn-o-rific, it totally pulled me out of the story.) A distressingly big mess, and I'm inclined to go with Awful.

LOVE & ROCKETS VOL 2 #13: Jaime's work just knocked me on my ass this issue, particularly "Angel of Tarzana" which was just so gorgeous and keenly observed, it seemed somehow trenchant in its apparent pointlessness. (The Hopey and Ray stories were stellar, too.) Gilbert's work didn't resonate nearly as strongly, but that didn't stop this from being a Very Good issue. It was pretty great.

PVP #15: Two of the strongest storylines I think Kurtz has ever done, and the strongest issue of the PVP comic by far. But the letter column where Kurtz berates a female reader who's informed him she's quitting the book over the cheesecake covers is one of the most cringe-inducing things I've seen since watching The Office (which, admittedly, was just last week). I'm a big believer in separating the creator from the work, but that really robbed me of the glow I got from reading this, making this a more reluctant Good than I would like.

SHAOLIN COWBOY #2: Holy fuck, this was good. After the dialogue-light first issue, I thought all the talky, jokey dialogue wasn't going to work, but Darrow knew when to use his art as a straight man to his story (King Crab going through the kung-fu training montage is one of the funniest things I've read in a long time, all because it's presented so straight) and when to let it also get insane and absurd. An absolute blast to read, and top-notch Very Good work.

SIMPSONS COMICS #104: Started as really funny, ended pretty funny, but not particularly funny in the middle at all. Bummer. Eh.

TEEN TITANS #22: I really like McKone's art--the guy's a knock-out talent--but apart from a nice scene between Light and Green Arrow, I didn't care one whit. I have no idea what "the tough" Dr. Light's powers are so the fight had no tension to me. Thus, the idea of every Titan ever ganging up to kick his butt again offers no tension either. And don't even get me started on the new Hawk and Dove... Eh.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #74: Strong, well-written and convinces me even more there's absolutely no reason it shouldn't have been USM #73. Again, the end of this would be even stronger if we hadn't been shown so much of where Harry's head is probably at. Good, though.

ULTIMATES 2 #4: After seeing some of his recent output, it's hard to believe Millar can still be subtle, but here, just as it definitively looks like Thor's a nut, he again pulls the "Is Thor crazy, or is Loki fooling everyone?" idea, just so you're not sure either way. And that, along with that Tony and Natasha scene, made this a damn Good read for me, despite there being any number of other things I just didn't buy.

UNCANNY X-MEN #457: Again, this looked great, but was dumber than a sack of black labs: Rachel now thinks she's always been a dinosaur chick? Then how is she able to access any of her memories about the X-Men to use against them? What about her possible feelings for Kurt? (I also can't believe anyone still thinks Rachel is anything other than a glaringly awful reminder of how little sense the whole Phoenix thing now makes, but that's a whole 'nother rant.) But beautiful art, a fun idea and kind of nice handle on X-23 (she's defiant, but so much more openly needy than Wolverine ever was) made this highly OK.

WOLVERINE #26: I think John Romita, Jr. needs a nice vacation--the opening fight scene, like the fight scenes in Black Panther #2, seemed so dull and by the numbers, I almost couldn't believe it was JR, Jr. (The colors, however, were gorgeous throughout.) And Millar keeps trying to top any of his previously over-the-top efforts, so that parts of this read like blatant self-parody. ("By six, he had finished his first opera and tried to commit suicide twice." Sorry, but if a six year old wants to kill himself and can't do it, he's not a child genius. Dumb-ass six year olds manage to get themselves killed all the time.) But there was something so winningly dumb about the end of this (Hydra's big plan is to load two hundred evil undead superheroes and supervillains into a big catapault and ka-sproing them at the helicarrier...or something.) I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. A very guilty Good.

YOUNG AVENGERS #2: Unlike last issue, stumbles very badly with its pacing. Once we learn Iron Lad is Kang, we get it: we don't need four-plus pages to show the why or the how unless there's something unexpected: frankly, that probably didn't need more than one. But the Cassie Lang stuff I liked a lot, and the YA's are all likeable enough (even though it seems kind of silly that they keep asking "Do you think we're ready for Kang?" when they keep having problems beating up four ordinary guys). Disappointing after last issue, but still a high OK.

Wow, look at all those high marks. Since I'm usually much tougher and more burnt out on comics after working on the newsletter, I'd say this was probably a pretty good week for the floppies. I picked up 100 Percent as my sole trade this week, and am really curious to see how it reads as a whole. I'll let you know.

Sorta reviews from 3/9's comics

It was another kinda blah week for comics, weren't it? After I read Jeff's Saturday entry, he covered everything I woulda, and pretty much the same way I woulda, this week. In fact, there were only 2 books "left" that I had ANY interesting in writing about.... FABLES #35: Nice ending to this 2-parter, though I was a little surprised by the leap forward in time. That could be an interesting choice, I suppose -- after all, the Fables are eternal -- but it did jar my reading of the issue a bit. I'll go with GOOD.

JSA #71: Some real nice character moments here, though the Mr. Teriffic vs The Klan scene was corny and arbitrary, and I was kinda annoyed by the abrupt jump in the Hourman scene without any explanation whatsoever. However, the moment with Courtney and Ted was really precious, and the whole back half of the issue was nearly as good. All in all, I liked it and will also go with GOOD.

That's it, otherwise I pretty much agree with Jeff.

PICK OF THE WEEK goes to clearly to PROJECT SUPERIOR, which I thought was easily VERY GOOD, a hard-ass rating for an anthology to get. While, like Jeff, there were entries that I HATED, there were several immaculate editorial choices made in pacing the book, so I was never more than 2-3 pages from something I loved. What's interesting is that the stories that were probably the best (I'd go with the one with the aliens, or the one with the letter to Marvel probably [man, without my copy at hand, those sound like episodes of FRIENDS where Jeff Lester was the Executive Story guy...]) weren't really about super-heroes at all, but rather the feelings they create in us. What's also interesting is that the dead worst things in the book were by the older, more established creators who have dabbled in fields of mainstream pubs. I also want to draw special attention to the physical production of the book -- the reproduction is crisp, and clean, and there's TONS of different styles and media being used here; the whole package is just impressive to look through. This really is something you should have a copy of, and while you might like different things than I did, I guarantee you you'll like way more of it than you don't.

"Oh, but Brian, that's cheating, that's not a comic book!" Bah, fine. I've got three real choices for a purely floppy PICK OF THE WEEK, the first is probably STREET ANGEL #5, but, in large part, it's because I read and loved the "Afrodesiac" piece in PROJECT SUPERIOR. I agree with Jeff that there's just not enough ambition here, because this could be The Best Book Evah, and still it's instead just Really Strong. I'd go with a low VERY GOOD here.

My second possibility is SHINING KNIGHT #1, which lays a number of my fears to rest in regards to the accessibility of the individual pieces of the "Seven Soldiers" meta-arc. I liked this a lot, but didn't love it -- a VERY GOOD comic. Really, not enough "happens" in the issue on it's own, tho it be chock fulla stuff -- I mean the interesting thing about a Shining Knight is him being here, in modern day, not the Camelot stuff. Just like how Thor is dull as dirt in Asgard. Still, a good start.

In a normal week, I woulda stopped there, but I'm feeling perverse today (I just got back from sorting through THIS week's comics!) and I think I shall give PICK OF THE WEEK to BLOOD OF THE DEMON #1, even though it is "just" VERY GOOD. I'll grant Lester's problems with the last page, but, damn it, I haven't seen Byrne look this nice.... well, in a damn long time, and Pfeiffer solves the problems of Byrne's sometimes leaden scene-turning with a different authorial voice. I really have to give props to inker "Nekros", he brings a density that Byrne 's work needs. Now, mind you, I may be saying in 2-3 issues, "Ugh, god, make it stop!" But I think this is one of the "Good" Byrne projects, and if it goes someplace less obvious as we progress, maybe there's some hope here. One odd thing, though: how the hell is this not a "Mature readers" book? Seriously, there are explicit scenes of flayings here, man. Now, look, I don't mind -- it's my PotW, ain't it? -- but there are places in the country where people could get arrested if a teenager bought this.

That was easy enough, despite not a single "EXCELLENT"

Hm, well, maybe I'd give FREEDOM FORCE VS THE THIRD REICH an EXCELLENT, but then, that's not a comic, is it?

PICK OF THE WEAK just has one possibility: WOLVERINE SOULTAKER #1. Good lord, that was truly bad comic, plodding and leaden and stock characters being offered up for dull shadow plays of other Wolverine stories. God, if I never see Wolverine in Japan story again, or Wolverine versus ninjas (or, sure, monks too, same diff!) it will still be too soon. Seriously, trying to pull out "this is my oldest, dearest friend, who the audience has never met before, and so he must be killed so that this time (finally!) it is personal" trick is the surest sign of not only a bad comic, but a bad bad bad writer. Marvel seriously needs to stop hiring writers that just take old Marvel stories and putting them in a blender. Sheesh, fucking hacks.

The TP/GN PICK OF THE WEEK goes to.... um, well, I guess it is John Byrne week here because I think I'll go with FANTASTIC FOUR VISIONARIES JOHN BYRNE VOL 4 TP. The only credible competetion is SUPERMAN BATMAN VOL 1 PUBLIC ENEMIES TP. It could go either way, but I'm perverse today, I said, didn't I?

If I had a TP/GN PICK OF THE WEAK, it would have to go to STAN LEES ALEXA VOL 1 GN, for putting Dave Gibbons and Dan Jurgens names on the top of the cover, when they do pinups, man. Dumbasses, it's not like people BUY something because you put a name artist's name on the cover. They'll pick it up and flip through it, but when they don't see what you've advertised, they drop it fast. Sheesh.

Anyway, that's that -- sorry I'm so late (but, better late than never? Or something?) I do so solemnly swear I'll be much much earlier in next week's cycle!

What did you think, anyway?

-B

Comics Shipping 3/16

Lotsa comics, jack-plus-shit for books. Weird. Somehow I feel next week will be an utter ball-breaker. ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #638 ANGELTOWN #5 (OF 5) ASPEN SEASONS SPRING 2005 #1 BATMAN STRIKES #7 BETTY & VERONICA #207 BETTY & VERONICA DIGEST #155 BIGFOOT #2 (OF 4) BIRDS OF PREY #80 BLACK PANTHER #1 LTD ED VARIANT (Or, in english: second printing) BLACK PANTHER #2 BRIAN PULIDOS LADY DEATH SWIMSUIT 2005 BRIAN PULIDOS UNHOLY #2 CABLE DEADPOOL #13 CAPTAIN AMERICA #4 CATWOMAN #41 DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS #21 DONALD DUCK AND FRIENDS #326 EX MACHINA #9 EXILES #61 FANTASTIC FOUR FOES #3 (OF 6) FATHOM #0 FREEDOM FORCE #3 (OF 6) GI JOE MASTER & APPRENTICE VOL II UDON CVR A #2 HOPELESS SAVAGES B-SIDES ALL FLASHBACK SP ONE SHOT HUMAN RACE #1 (OF 7) HUMAN TARGET #20 INCREDIBLE HULK #79 INVINCIBLE #21 JLA #112 JUGHEADS DOUBLE DIGEST #111 LIONS TIGERS & BEARS #2 (OF 4) LOVE & ROCKETS VOL 2 #13 LUCIFER #60 LULLABY WISDOM SEEKER #1 (OF 4) MANHUNTER #8 MARVEL KNIGHTS 4 #16 MICKEY MOUSE AND FRIENDS #275 NEXT EXIT #3 NOBLE CAUSES #8 PLASTIC MAN #15 POISON ELVES HYENA #4 (Of 4) POWERPUFF GIRLS #60 PVP #15 QUESTION #5 (OF 6) SHAOLIN COWBOY #2 SIMPSONS COMICS #104 SPACE GHOST #5 (OF 6) SPIDER-MAN UNLIMITED #8 STAR WARS GENERAL GRIEVOUS #1(OF 4) STORMBREAKER SAGA OF BETA RAYBILL #3 (OF 6) STUDENTS OF THE UNUSUAL #4 SUPERFIST AYUMI #3 TEEN TITANS #22 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #74 ULTIMATE X-MEN #57 ULTIMATES 2 #4 ULTRA #8 (OF 8) UNCANNY X-MEN #457 WILD GIRL #5 (OF 6) WOLVERINE #26 WONDER WOMAN #214 X-MEN AGE OF APOCALYPSE #3 (OF 6) YOUNG AVENGERS #1 DIRECTORS CUT YOUNG AVENGERS #2

Books / Mags / Stuff 100 PERCENT TP ANIMATION MAGAZINE APR 2005 #147 BACK ISSUE #9 CONAN VOL 1 FROST GIANTS DAUGHTER & OTHER STORIES HC CONAN VOL 1 FROST GIANTS DAUGHTER & STORIES TP DARKNESS VOL 3 SINS OF THE PAST TP DR RADIUM VOL 3 TP ELFQUEST ARCHIVES VOL 2 HC GREEN LANTERN SERIES 1 HAL JORDAN ACTION FIGURE GREEN LANTERN SERIES 1 PARALLAX ACTION FIGURE MISS BETTER LIVING THROUGH CRIME TP NIKOLAI DANTE THE GREAT GAME TP OWLY VOL 2 JUST A LITTLE BLUETP STAR WARS VISIONARIES TP STARMAN VOL 10 SONS OF THE FATHER TP TEZUKAS BUDDHA VOL 5 DEER PARK HC TONY MILLIONAIRE SOCK MONKEY HC THAT DARN YARN TOYFARE SIN CITY TOYS CVR #93 ULTIMATE GALACTUS VOL 1 NIGHTMARE TP

What looks good to you?

-B

When Jobs Attack: Quick Reviews for the 3/9 Comics

Good evening, everyone. Reviews by me this week will be super-quick, in part because I was very impressed at Bri's succinctness with last week's books, and in part because work was such a complete and utter steamroller, I'm surprised my pancake flat fingers can summon enough tension to depress the keys. My hope is that Brian will take the initiative to review some books again even though all we did Friday at the shop was exchange groans about our impending deadlines. So without further adoo-dah:

ACTION COMICS #825: Hibbs thought I wouldn't like this because time travel makes my brain pan tilt crazily, but in fact, dammit, this was Good, if not almost Very Good: pushed by the deadline to wrap things up, Austen/Finn's accelerated storytelling produces an enjoyable, larger-than-life mini-epic, with thousands of Gogs versus the League of Supermen, and an ending that, because it's true to the spirit of Superman, rings believable as opposed to merely convenient. If this had been the third issue of Austen's run and not the end of it, I would have been talking with excitement about the book. Like I said: Good or Very Good.

ADAM STRANGE #6: Oh, great. L.E.G.I.O.N. and The Omega Men. On the one hand, I admire Diggle's craftiness: throwing in pre-established characters to save Adam's hash makes the editors happy while still fitting in with that classic Alex Raymond Flash Gordon formula. On the other hand, it strikes me as a bit lazy (no real effort made to make these characters work) and if you find those characters very, very dull (and God, do I!), it's not a strong incentive to read the book. And Ferry's feeling the burn a little bit--this wasn't quite up to the rest of the really sweet work he's been doing here. So, I dunno, OK, I guess.

AMAZING JOY BUZZARDS #3: Yeah, everything I said about issue #2 and then some--the scope of the book is just beyond the artist's grasp, and there's just not enough shtick to make up for the flatness of the characters. Shipping like clockwork, though. Eh.

AQUAMAN #28: There's always one thing I really like per Aquaman issue (here, the glass bottom boats filled with family members come to see their aquatic relatives) and a bunch of stuff I really don't: "Don't you see, Aquaman? They've patented your DNA!" I suspect that's a really, really awkward hook for next issue's 'Oooo, those corporations and their wicked drug patents' screed. Even Aquaman looks kinda bored at the prospect. Eh.

ATOMIKA #1: Ever read a book without checking the credits and you can just tell--it's just obvious--that it was created by an artist who has all these great ideas but no real desire to tell a story? And then a writer's brought in later who works double-time to make it seem like things are happening by really laying on the tortured prose? That would be this book. Very pretty, and nice of Alex Ross to do the cover, but you can color me underwhelmed. Eh, if that.

BLOOD OF THE DEMON #1: For half the issue, I really thought we were going someplace different than where we ended up at the last page. Mind you, I didn't know where Byrne & Pfeiffer were going, as Jason gets his face stuck in half-Etrigan mode, but at least we weren't going to end up at "Oh no, the Demon has broken free of Jason Blood's influence!" And then, of course, we get to the last page and guess what? On the other hand, as Bri pointed out, this is Byrne's best work, by far, in I don't know how long, and the inker did a great job with his stuff. So let's call it a high OK, even though I'm now dubious if this is going to go anywhere interesting.

BLOODHOUND #9: Caught between a rock and a hard place as far as having two very uninteresting villains (Zeiss and pyro guy) and being right near the end of its run. A shame since I really like and care about the main characters. The art change was noticeable too, although it seems like Robin Riggs worked really hard to keep the characters' features consistent and expressive which was great. Eh, but I might have worked that up to OK if the book wasn't going into limbo soon.

BLUE MONDAY PAINTED MOON #4: I know that people--and particularly teens--are resistant to change, but I still felt disappointed that the two scenes that seemed like they were going to change characters' relationships actually ended up changing nothing. The one change at the end really seemed the most inconsequential to me, and I finished up this otherwise strong mini feeling dissatisfied. And that may be what Clugston wants me as a reader to feel, but, uhhh, I think it was a bit of a mistake/cop-out, honestly. Eh.

CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #3: We got some free Matrix Online promo rag and I thought it was pretty interesting that Paul Chadwick is the head writer for that game. But maybe that explains why this issue seemed really clunky--it was competing with paid work, maybe; or there's a very different kind of storytelling needed for a MMORG and Chadwick got a little rusty on his comic stuff. But all the scenes felt plot-hammered, big time. And those little factoids in the middle of the page made this read like some eco-friendly Jack Chick tract. Last issue pulled me in; this issue spat me back out. A very low Eh.

GOTHAM CENTRAL #29: Jesus, this came out this week? I totally forgot to read this. That can't be a good sign. No rating.

GREEN ARROW #48: God help me, I liked the Duke of Oil. For some reason, I don't mind an utterly goofy stereotype if he's also an absurdly berserk robot. And Judd didn't go for any of the totally easy George W. jokes I thought he might, so that was kind of impressive. And yet the ending to the Duke fight and to the issue were both formulaic as all hell. And have I mentioned I don't like the Eurotrash ninja guy? I don't like him. Still, OK.

MAJESTIC #3: Sigh. I miss Metamorphosis Alpha. OK.

PROJECT SUPERIOR: I'm going to follow Hibbs' lead and treat this like it was one big comic book anthology and review it here. It is very much worth the coin thanks to some high production values and a lot of different voices, some of whom produce really great work. I was a little worried this would be the typical "indie guys transfer their loathing for superhero fanboys onto superheroes" (and even more worried after the first story which read like exactly that) but then it goes all over the map and enjoyably so. I'd point out the highlights but I don't have the copy near and I found Hibbs and I had completely different stuff we liked so I think the point is there will be something for everyone in the book. I can only give it a Good because there was some stuff I really, really didn't like in here, but it's a Good rating where I heartily encourage you to find a copy and try it out yourself.

SHINING KNIGHT #1: Hmmm. The first issue didn't really go anywhere unexpected, which is probably more my fault with having read all the solicit info for the title (and it actually being accurate for a change) rather than any shortcoming in the book. But at this point it feels like a high fantasy rewrite of Grant's Marvel Boy miniseries and if that's all it ends up being, I might be kinda bummed. Too soon to tell so a low Good for now.

SPIDER-MAN TEAM UP SPECIAL: Sadly, this wasn't a SPIDER-MAN TEAM UP SPECIAL, it was a FANTASTIC FOUR EARTH DAY SPECIAL that got passed off as something else when presumably some distribution deal fell through. It brought me back to the days in elementary school where they'd pass out those half-sized comic books with the Brady Bunch showing you how to build kites. Remember those? On the one hand, they weren't particularly good. On the other hand, they were still better than this. This was kinda Awful.

STREET ANGEL #5: Great fun, particularly if you read Project Superior first (which I did). I'm a little troubled by Maruca and Rugg's lack of, I dunno, ambition or something but if they're content to produce a spectactularly charming and energetic, immensely slight comic book, more power to them. It's winningly done, and, for what it is, Very Good.

SUPERMAN #214: Hibbs read the whole issue and somehow missed that they're turning the priest into a cancer-powered OMAC. Or maybe I misunderstood that part. We both re-read it, and still couldn't be quite sure. Finally, there's lots of hitting, but the hitting seems very, very dull, either because I can't figure out what's going on and therefore have no idea what's at stake, or because Jim Lee's got some new pastures to go frolic in (courtesy of All-Star Batman & Robin) . Either way, dull and Awful.

TALES OF THE THING #1: This book had so many hands in it, they only put half the art guys on the cover--and I'm still trying to figure out how/why Steve Gerber had a hand in plotting it. It's a shame, considering how much really strong work DC has done with superheroes for the all-ages market, to see Marvel think of all-ages material the way a lot of fans seem to: as third-rate, passed-off junk that wouldn't pass muster in the regular market. Because between this and the Team-Up Special, that's pretty much how this reads. Just a bit above Awful.

THE PUNISHER #18: A pretty nice wrap-up to the story, so much so I kinda want to put the issues together and see if it reads that strong all the way through. Good.

ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #16: Way too long to wait for it, but a really enjoyable issue. Everything from the explanation of the Negative Zone to the characterization of Ultimate Anihilius was thoughtful, clever and apt. I'm not a super-big fan of Kubert's art but it worked pretty well here. Good.

VIMANARAMA #2: Weirdly, didn't work for me. Although I'm not saying they should be joined at the hip or anything, I think if, say, Quitely had done the art, there's a chance the balance of big, super-splodey and small, human moments might have worked quite nicely. But while Philip Bond nails the human drama, the big stuff was like watching luminescent jellyfish having a punch-out. There are pages here and there where the material connected with me, but by and large, Eh.

WOLVERINE SOULTAKER #1: I don't know why I read this. If you like art where nobody has elbows, or plots are so underwhelming they read like overly verbose coloring books, or a book about Japan done so unconvincingly you first wonder if the creators are Japanese American rather than Japanese, then think maybe they're untalented white guys hiding under Japanese names, before finally doubting they were human at all and are instead a disguise for some prototype auto-manga generation software Marvel keeps trying...then this is the book for you! Awful.

And that's it, more or less. Fortunately, Paul O'Brien's strange case of OCD keeps him reviewing all the X-books over at The X-Axis, even though he's a much better writer than most of the people writing the material itself, so I don't even have to touch any of the AoA stuff. Thank God.

So, that's me. Will Hibbs go for two weeks in a row? Place your bets now, and remember to say nice things to him in the comments field, if he does.

Reviews from 3/2

Well, I'm sorta upset at myself for promising to do a full boat of reviews this week -- it was a pretty damn "Meh" week for comics, and without something to be excited about, this is about as appealing as a root canal. Still, I said I'd do it, so do it I shall.

Hey, have I told you about Ben lately? Just had his 17 month birthday (I think I'll be talking about months until he hits 2 years old, then we'll see), and he's just BLOWING ME AWAY qith how sharp he is.

He's mastered about 1/3 of the alphabet so far -- we'll walk down the street and he'll point to a sign and declare "Ess!" or "Emm!" or whatever it is he's seeing. It's pretty astonishing to me. He's been seemingly picking up a letter a day, and, at this rate I think he'll have them all by 18 months. Maybe he'll even be reading by 2. What surprises me is how well he's understanding letters outside of his usual contexts or whatever. I was wearing my Teddy Kristiansen Sandman shirt, and there's a plume of smoke or something that anchors the illustration, and Ben looked at it and said "Ess!". And lo, and behold, yes, it indeed looks like an S -- but not like an S from any of his alphabet books.

Anyway, the kid impresses me.

As for the comics this week, let's see what we got:

30 DAYS OF NIGHT BLOODSUCKERSTALES #5: Honestly, I'm bored with both of these stories, and I wish that each had already wrapped up. I think that if they continue the book, they need to mix up the story lengths a lot more -- for an anthology to work, I beleive that every issue should have at least one good starting point included. Gotta go with an EH, here, especially for IDW's $4 cover price.

ANGRY YOUTH COMIX #8: Last issue I actually thought for a minute that Johnny Ryan had begun to transcend just the toilet humor -- there was at least one story that was kinda a genuinely good piece of satire. But, with this one we're back to straight up crap and pussy jokes. Not the way that I, personally, would want to spend $3 and 15 minutes, and this time through I didn't even laugh *once*, so I'm down with AWFUL.

ARANA HEART OF THE SPIDER #2: Yeah, it's not the Next Big Thing, and, unlike X-23, you don't have the X-zombies to prop you up regardless of content. We ordered 6 copies of #1 and Marvel did a 100% overship, if you can beleive that -- we received 6 free copies. I thought that was a terrific move on Marvel's part and bought the book better rack placement than I otherwise woulda given it. Alas, after 5 weeks of counts, we still only sold 6 copies. With #2, based on the weekend's velocity, I don't think we're going to sell 4. And I can't really battle it -- the book just isn't good enough to warrant individual hand-selling, or growth through word of mouth. The book is pretty much cliche after cliche, and the "armored" look is just downright ugly. The supporting cast are all really flat, and everything about the book feels forced to me. It's a really low EH, or maybe a high AWFUL, though the EH is probably fairer.

ARTBABE PRESENTS LA PERDIDA #5: What a let down of an ending. Like a bad student film, or something. And I was enraptured with the first four issues, too. I gotta give it, too, an EH.

CAPTAIN AMERICA & THE FALCON #13: Worked better than it has been lately, but, man, what the fuck is up with the wholly false jeapordy of Cap getting killed (ahahaha!) by a stray bullet(!?!?!?!?!) -- since you know that can't actually happen, the best you could hope for is some really brain-achingly clever way out of the cliffhanger. And I don't see that happening, do you? PLus, it's been 13 months already, I sure hope we're going to actually get TO "And what's up with Sam?" one of these days now. Dragging out way too long. Fie and Foo, A staggeringly low EH.

CASEFILES SAM & TWITCH #14: I swear I sat here for a minute going, "now I know I read this... why can't I remember it?" which is never a great sign. Then I remembered, "oh yeah, the Chinese Vampires." Really undercuts any possible tension it could have had with that last page -- by the time we got there, there wasn't any surprise or shock. Again, an EH, this one right up the middle of Eh Lane.

DARKNESS #19: Either I'm not parsing things right, or they changed something in an issue I didn't read, but I thought Jackie automagically lost the Darkness powers if he had sex? Other than that, this was pretty much yuck piled on yuck with a bunch of staggeringly unlikeable characters, and I don't know what I was expecting from Lapham, but 'tweren't this. AWFUL.

DEADSHOT #4: I liked the first 3 issues enough to not want to be disapointed in the third act (as it were), but I hope it doesn't end like it's now threatening too. I'll go with a tentative OK this second, but reserve the right to downgrade that substantially next month. Having said that, look, it's got the best Savage Critic Scale rating so far this week...

DETECTIVE COMICS #804: And we'll tie that here. Dense and solid work, but something seemed off just a notch in either Bats or his villians' characterizations. It's a high OK.

DOCTOR SPECTRUM #5: *shrug* OK, shocking dark secret, sure, whatever -- this took 5 issues to get to? I really like SUPREME POWER, but this is just snoozing me out. EH.

EXILES #60: *groan* Did people actually LIKE "Age of Apocalypse"? I mean actually, and truly like it? 'cuz I remember it as being long and formless and ultimately redundant. Well, we'll get more into that down a bunch, but, yes here we go back to AoA, and I don't care enough about the premise to care what happens. So, EH from me.

FIRESTORM #11: Well, I think I said I think it's a bit too late for them to bring Ronnie back into it, especially in the Professor role, but it was an adequate single issue, I 'spose. OK

INTIMATES #5: First one I've kinda sorta liked -- the dead sidekick thing is at least marginally interesting. Still, this book is clearly not meant for me. EH.

JOHN CONSTANTINE HELLBLAZER SPECIAL PAPA MIDNITE #2: A solid enough OK, I guess, though it's hard to beleive that many people would mass suicide in that circumstance.

JUSTICE LEAGUE ELITE #9: Again, not my thing at all (I don't want very many gritty, morally corrupt superheroes, thanks), so take my EH with whatever cavaets you'd like.

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #7: Cute enough story, Adam's getting his sea-legs on the comics page, I think. OK

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #100: Odd thing, I was looking forward to this for a bit, because I'm a big KoDT fan, and the promise of twice as many comics pages made me go W00t! But I forgot that almost meant twice as many gaming-magazine pages as well, which made the comics side seem smaller than it probably really was. If you understand what I am saying. Plus, I was expecting some big epic story, and instead it was a lot of short vignettes. Which were all funny, don't get me wrong... just not what I was expecting. Anyway, it's a GOOD, but a reserved one 'cuz I was expecting an "EXCELLENT", y'know?

LEGEND #1: It was good, it is always nice to see Russ Heath drawing something, and Chaykin's script was pretty good this time through -- but geez louise, $6? You gotta assume it's going to be a $19.95 trade, right? Look, I know that my job in life is to sell these things, but that's just plain overpriced. The "GOOD" I woulda given it is knocked down to an OK for the pricing.

LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL #1: Damn nice looking art, and a good character study of Lex and his motivations. I think I agreed with all of the notes hit, so that's nice. I'll give it a GOOD, sure.

MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #1: This is actually Jeff's joke, but the way the "Marvel Age" were being solicited and relaunched for a while there, it was like Kids would think that all Peter Parker ever did was get bitten by a spider and watched Uncle Ben get shot. They just keep doing the origin over and over again. With material this hoary, aimed at kids, your only choice is really capped out at OK

MARVEL TEAM-UP #6: I liked this wrap-up just fine. It's utterly weightless material, but it does it well. GOOD.

RAZORS EDGE WARBLADE #5: I was hoping for the other ending, where all the toys aren't put (more or less) back where they began. Ah well. This sold shockingly poorly for a Simon Bisely drawn comic. EH.

RISING STARS #24: Another ending I didn't care much for. The whole third act was kind of a mess, really. REally, kind of a Deux Ex Machina ending to the theme of the act -- none of the Specials actually did anything or changed a thing, it was the power *itself* which affected the societal change. This may change upon the start-to-finish reread of the entire series, but, for the moment, I got nothing more than an EH.

SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL #2: 4 pages of content, expanded out to 22, and it ain't even got no of them thar boobies to make the time pass. And there's 5 more issues of this to go? Cho has the artistic chops, sure, but his writing and pacing is jerky like strip pacing. It's like he needed to remind HIMSELF every few pages that she "has the eyes of a killer", y'know? It's not quite AWFUL, so it get the low low low EH.

SUPERMAN STRENGTH #3: A wonderful wonderful "silver age" style Superman comic, overpriced by half, and with the wrong artist chosen. In a parallel world where this is what Jim Lee was drawing for the last year (well, OK, maybe not Jim, but you see my point...), this woulda been EXCELLENT, but in the world in which we live in, it gets a low OK. *sad*

SWAMP THING #13: Not as grue-some for gruesome's sake as the last few, thank god -- but there's just nothing left here that I care about. Abby and Tefe and Alec just need to have everything wrapped up to some degree, and then go off stage, forever and ever. Thier time is done, really. EH.

TOE TAGS FEATURING GEORGE ROMERO #6: Well, that didn't work. Jeez, at all. If there were plans to continue the "Toe Tags" name, post-Romero, I'd scuttle them now. AWFUL.

TWILIGHT EXPERIMENT #2: an OK hook, an OK idea, but nothing better than OK. An an OK idea has to be executed BRILLIANTLY to get an OK rating. So that's why I say EH.

ULTIMATE IRON MAN #1: Variant foil covers. *sigh* is this what we've come back to? Really? I despair for comics, sometimes, I really do. I thought the insides were well done -- crisply written, and well drawn, but, man, the idea of Tony Stark having actual super-powers of some sort is diametrically opposed to what I think of as "Iron Man". No, he's 100% human at base -- that's what makes him compelling within the Marvel universe, I think. So, I have quibbliage. Despite that, however, the actual content was compelling and GOOD.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #73: It's not that nothing happens, it's that what happens should have been 3 pages in another issue, and we wouldn't have had to sit through all of the flashbacks. I'm absolutely certain this issue will work in the TP, because Bendis has played this trick before, but as a single comic book reading experience, I was impatient and bored. EH.

WALKING DEAD #16: Except for that last page (god, what a leaden line to go out with), how could you read this comic, and not be in love with it? Well, a strong like, anyway. Love, that's serious. An easy VERY GOOD.

X-MEN AGE OF APOCALYPSE #1: Because... well, someone must have demanded it. Not me. Modern AoA world looks surprisingly like our own. I accepted that on, say, SLIDERS, because that's what the budget allowed, but given my memories of what we were shown in the original AoA, it strained my credibility quite a bit to see it here. I don't know, it's not really bad or anything (Bachalo's art is more approachable than it's been recently), but I just simply don't care about this world and these characters and didn't seem to have any real reason to do so. It's time for Marvel, with it's tortured continuity and scores of variant worlds to have a CRISIS.... Anyway, the review: EH.

X-MEN AGE OF APOCALYPSE ONE SHOT: I can't even give this an EH. Geez, they don't love you, they just want all your money! AWFUL.

X-MEN FANTASTIC FOUR #4: Stinky stinky doo doo. This is not what you want to hand in TP to a civilian fresh outta the FF movie -- this is bad bad comics, ugly, formulaiac, irrelevent. CRAP.

PICK OF THE WEEK: best rating of the week goes to .... WALKING DEAD #16. I'm here to cut off your head!

PICK OF THE WEAK: Oh, c'mon, that's easy -- X-MEN FANTASTIC FOUR #4

BOOK / TP OF THE WEEK: a much stronger category than the comics, here's draft 1: COMICS JOURNAL 2005 SPECIAL: Lots of strong material in the new strips section. FABLES VOL 5 THE MEAN SEASONS TP: This is how I buy FABLES FRANK MILLER SIN CITY VOL 2 DAME TO KILL FOR 2ND TP FRANK MILLER SIN CITY VOL 5 FAMILY VALUES 2ND TP: If you haven't read them yet, now is the time. JUNGLE TP: Peter Kuper did a great job on this adaptation. LITTLE LULU VOL 2 LULU TAKES A TRIP TP: Charming charming stuff. MINISTRY OF SPACE TP: Flimsy cover, but a great, beautiful story PROMETHEA BOOK 4 TP: if you've read the first three. TEENAGERS FROM MARS TP: It's uneven in places, but it's got fire, man.

I think I'm going to go with MINISTRY OF SPACE for the win.

You?

-B

Comics On Sale 3/9

An adequate week, I guess. 2000 AD #1425 2000 AD #1426 ACTION COMICS #825 ADAM STRANGE #6 (OF 8) AMAZING JOY BUZZARDS #3 AQUAMAN #28 ARMOR X #1 ATOMIKA #1 BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #189 BETTY #145 BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #99 BLOOD OF THE DEMON #1 BLOODHOUND #9 BLUE MONDAY PAINTED MOON #4 (Of 4) BREACH #3 BRIAN PULIDOS MEDIEVAL LADY DEATH #1 BUGTOWN #3 (OF 6) CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #3 (OF6) DARKNESS & TOMB RAIDER #1 DAWN THREE TIERS #5 (OF 6) DILDO #8 DISTRICT X #11 DOGWITCH #16 DOROTHY #2 FABLES #35 GAMBIT #8 GIRL + GIRL #2 GLOOMCOOKIE #23 GOTHAM CENTRAL #29 GREEN ARROW #48 JONAS TALES OF AN IRONSTAR #4 JSA #71 JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #229 JUGHEAD WITH ARCHIE DIGEST #200 MAD MAGAZINE #452 MAJESTIC #3 MARY JANE HOMECOMING #1 (OF 4) NEW THUNDERBOLTS #6 NIGHTMARES AND FAIRY TALES #12 NIGHTWING #105 PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #92 SAMURAI HEAVEN & EARTH #3 (OF5) SCOOBY DOO #94 SEVEN SOLDIERS SHINING KNIGHT #1 (OF 4) SPIDER GIRL #84 SPIDER-MAN TEAM UP SPECIAL STOKERS DRACULA #4 (OF 4) STREET ANGEL #5 SUPERMAN #214 TALES OF THE THING #1 (OF 3) TERRA OBSCURA VOL 2 #6 (OF 6) THE GRIMOIRE #1 THE PUNISHER #18 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #16 VIMANARAMA #2 (OF 3) WESTERN TALES OF TERROR #3 WITCHBLADE & TOMB RAIDER #1 WOLVERINE SOULTAKER #1 (OF 5) X-MEN AGE OF APOCALYPSE #2 (OF 6) X-MEN THE END HEROES AND MARTYRS #1 (OF 6)

Books / Mags / Stuff ALTER EGO #46 BATTLE ANGEL ALITA VOL 8 2ND ED TP BEST OF AMERICAN SPLENDOR TP COMIC BOOK DIGEST FEB 05 #5 DEVLIN WAUGH RED TIDE TP ESSENTIAL DOCTOR STRANGE VOL 2 TP FANTASTIC FOUR VISIONARIES JOHN BYRNE VOL 4 TP FORTEAN TIMES #194 FRENCH KISS #12 GAMBIT HOUSE OF CARDS TP HARDY BOYS VOL 1 GN INHUMANS VOL 1 CULTURE SHOCK DIGEST TP IRON WOK JAN GN #11 IRREGULARS VOL 1 TP JAMES BOND MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN SC JUXTAPOZ SPECIAL #1 LEES TOY REVIEW MAR 2005 #149 MAD COLOR SPECIAL #11 MONSTER COLLECTION VOL 1 PETE VON SHOLLYS MORBID VOL 2TP PIRANESE PRISON PLANET HC PROJECT SUPERIOR SC QUEST FOR THE MYSTERIOUS CLOTH GN SLEEPER VOL 3 A CROOKED LINE TP STAN LEES ALEXA VOL 1 GN SUPERFOLKS TP SUPERMAN BATMAN VOL 1 PUBLIC ENEMIES TP THE LONG HAUL GN VIDEO WATCHDOG MAR 2005 #117 WIZARD MAGAZINE MEGA MOVIE BATMAN PHOTO CVR YAAKOV AND ISAAC VOL 1 GN

Also coming out this week is FREEDOM FORCE VS THE THIRD REICH -- I really liked the first game a TON, and from what I've seen, the sequel looks great too. They're self-publishing the game, too, so if you're want to get the game (or check out the demo), go over to http://www.freedomfans.com/

Blahs for the Blah: the 3/2/05 Week of Comics...

Good thing Hibbs is weighing in this week; maybe he'll have something to really get at with this week's books. I don't know if it's the cold I'm fighting, or the week I'm having, but I was at the store yesterday and not really feeling the magic as far as the floppies were concerned. Kind of a nice week for trades, in that I brought home Little Lulu, Vol. 2, Ministry of Space, Promethea Book 4 and Teenagers From Mars and there's a little bit of everything for everyone in that assortment, you know? But the ongoing titles, I just, hmmm, I don't know... as evidenced by my very first review. [WARNING: First review is heavy on the scroll-wheelery and eye-bleeding: long, in short.] ARTBABE PRESENTS LA PERDIDA #5 (OF 5): And sadly, this is Exhibit No. 1 in why I'm doubting my critical acumen this week. I've been more or less knocked out by every issue of La Perdida...except this one. Considering how underwhelmed I've been about other last issues of minis I've also otherwise enjoyed (100% #5, Black Hole #12), I wonder if it's not some unfortunate end-result of a last issue following far on the heels of a previous one, particularly when the creator chooses a different path than the straight-up ratcheting of tension and expectation placed in the earlier issues. Endings are tricky, tricky things anyway, and perhaps where the creator can use a bait and switch to best effect (throwing expectations off by switching the narrative's focus from the plot to the theme, for example), but if it's nine months or a year between issues, then maybe it reads more like a souffle collapsing, a loss of potential, to the reader of the singles as opposed to what's experienced by the reader of the trade. (And dammit, because 100% is only now coming into trade, I really couldn't say for sure.)

Or maybe this just fell apart at the end. It felt like it fell apart to me: after four issues of Carla not seeing what's going on and not doing anything to stop what's going on around her, she's finally brought (literally) face-to-face with the situation at the end of issue #4. In issue #5, she's dealing with a band of kidnappers, including her ex and her closest friend, who have kidnapped a wealthy American who is also her ex: it's pretty much the height of drama, and Abel's done an exemplary job of building up to it.

But perhaps because the first four issues have driven their tension from the difference between what Carla thinks is going on and what the reader can see is going on, the fifth issue, where those viewpoints are finally the same, goes slack when Abel puts nothing in place to replace that tension--indeed, Carla's captions take over the last issue, telling us things so Abel doesn't have to dramatize them. Abel insists on not switching to a full-tilt crime story, keeping all the double-crosses and death grounded in the uncomfortable banality of life, but without that, or the hook of the schism between the protagonist's beliefs and ours, it all feels tremendously flat. I get the sense Abel may have struggled with the material--a few scenes jump art style dramatically, suggesting Abel might have tried to draw the last issue in a different style as a way to show the change in Carla's viewpoint and then ditched it--but it sure didn't feel like she got it. I hope either I'm wrong (and it's 100% Syndrome) or she does figure out the proper way to rework the material before the trade, because the stellar work in the first four issues makes this feel much worse than the Eh it probably is--because the story as a whole could be so much more.

CAPTAIN AMERICA & THE FALCON #13: Might have worked if I hadn't known this book is closing down shop (although Captain America killed by a stray bullet...come on) but instead feels like a high-drama way of Priest putting the toys (the Falcon's recklessness, the anti-Cap) back in the box. Eh.

DEADSHOT #4: Disappointingly seems to go for the "killer grows a heart" option which I didn't really want. On the other hand, I didn't want the whole neighborhood to go to shit, either, so I don't know what Gage would have done. The "and here's an army of b-grade villains to stop him!" ending didn't really thrill me, either. I imagine we'll get some sort of Shane-leaving type scene to wrap this up then. Oh, well. OK.

EXILES #60: I don't care about the Age of Apocalypse, thus saving me from a rash of related titles this month--and this bored me, more or less right up to the end, where the tie-in lays down some decent groundwork to up-end the series, thanks to that danged M'rkanni Crystal. Whether or not they follow through with that, we'll just have to see. OK.

LEGEND #1: I wasn't really expecting to like this just because Chaykin's recent scripting has left me cold. But it's a pretty decent spin on the Superman story (I know, I know, the Philip Wylie story came first) hampered by the fact that, with Supreme Power being only the most recent example, we're pretty much up to our necks in decent spins on the Superman story. Russ Heath's art is strong, not stellar (he can still convey a sense of weight to objects, making things like the lifting of a truck seem awesome, but I didn't see any of the particularly supple inkwork that conveys an oddly tactile sense, as in his best work) and if it'd been $2.95, I'd be telling you to check it out. But $5.95? Even with the higher page count, that price tag makes it pretty hard to endorse. Eh.

SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL #2: Separate and apart from the T&A issue (perv that I am, I wish it had been in there), I think this doesn't work. Although I'm glad Cho didn't just go for a light-hearted romp in this, he hasn't fleshed out his characters or his situation (I thought only one military guy survived from issue #1--turns out it's ten? Twenty? However many as needs to be eaten by dinosaurs?) or, really, his storytelling. He nails down one story point per issue and doesn't really deviate from it : this issue, it's: "Shanna has something cold, unfeeling inside. She has the eyes of a killer." and every three pages is a scene to reinforce that point. I'm sure it'll pay off...around issue #5, probably, but will anyone care by that point? I more or less didn't by the time I hit the end of this issue, and I probably would have felt that way no matter how much nudity had been thrown in. A very low Eh.

SUPERMAN: STRENGTH #3: Arghhhh. This may be the best Superman story I've read since, I dunno, Red Son, but the mismatched art team combined with the price tag makes it something I can't really recommend you drop your ducats on. It's not amazingly special--it's a very, very good Superman story with some Alex Ross covers--but giving it to an artist who really could have drawn the necessary mix of big and little moments would have at least whipped me into a fanboy lather and convinced me (and you) it was worth all this coin. But when it looks like prettily colored dashed-off storyboards and it's close to twenty bucks for the whole thing? Drops down to an Eh or an OK. The best I can do is lobby for Editorial to throw some money at McCloud and get him on a regular Superman title because he'd be great.

SWAMP THING #13: Well. It's not as gruesome as the last couple of issues, the art's strong, the writing dragged a bit but also put things more or less in place...but unless there's a stronger twist coming up than "wait, you mean the sinister looking preacher is actually evil?" I don't really care. In fact, even if there's a much stronger twist, I may not care. I think my goodwill ran out on the book around issue #8, and I honestly don't know if they can get it back. Eh.

TOE TAGS FEATURING GEORGE ROMERO #6: I love the fact that Romero is going to jam oodles of social commentary into an all-out zombie title. (The revolutionary leader was a sell-out and not even dead: is that a commentary on, say, the failure of social revolution owing to the leaders frequently being from a different race or social class than the followers?) I just wish he had the facility to do it well. And Tommy Castilo contributes some very nice work (dug those inset close-up panels!), but this was just a big ol' mish-mash where simplistic characters and an abundance of ambition scuttles any chance to really be drawn in the work. An Eh, basically.

ULTIMATE IRON MAN #1: A dual-edged sword here: although it starts too early (if I'm not mistaken, Tony hasn't even been born by the end of the first issue), it moves very, very quickly. And Card throws a shitload of wild ideas at us, stacking one on top of the other. But it threatens to swamp some important aspects of the Iron Man story--as Bri mentioned at the store, the idea of Tony Stark as a genetically altered supergenius with brain matter floating through his body just seems very, very wrong somehow, and, as Ellis has pointed out in his first few issues of Iron Man, Tony Stark ends up in the armor because of all of his arms dealing (Iron Man is a pretty potent American allegory, if you think about it), not what someone does to him--and I can't help but kinda worry what might be coming down the road. But, you know, honestly, I read it and thought it was Good. Whether it stays that way, we'll see.

WALKING DEAD #16: Must have been a good week to be Robert Kirkman. Not only is it announced that your property's been picked up by Hollywood and you'll be seeing Hollywood money to do the first draft, but your zombie book definitively kicks the ass of another zombie book written by Zombie King, George Romero. (Hopefully, you realize that last page reads dopier than hell and make a note to not destroy your tone for the sake of a more powerful last page reveal) But, still: a good week to be Robert Kirkman, particularly when you've got a title on the stands as Very Good as all this.

The other problem with such a small week for comics is I don't really know if I've left anything for Hibbs to really talk about. My hope is, something else this week really struck him he'll want to go to town on.

Arrivng

I hate February because you've got to fit 30 days of work into only 28 (plus that stupid holiday in the middle -- whose idea was that? Sheesh!), and this last one was no exception. I missed 2 weeks ago's reviews from being flat on my back with a death-cold, and I missed this week's because I had to get the order form and the sub setup done the same weekend. Ugh. March will be much better. Anyway, I promise to do reviews this week, and, probably, I'll do at least a week of "every comic released", just because this is the "easy" week of my month, now that the work is all done for the cycle.

See how behind I was, I'm not even publishing this week's list of comics until Wednesday, at nearly 1 in the afternoon. Sheesh!

Small week of comics, too

2000 AD #1423 2000 AD #1424 30 DAYS OF NIGHT BLOODSUCKERSTALES #5 A1 SPECIAL BRICKTOP CON ED ANGRY YOUTH COMIX #8 ARANA HEART OF THE SPIDER #2 ARCHIE #555 ARTBABE PRESENTS LA PERDIDA #5 (OF 5) CAPTAIN AMERICA & THE FALCON #13 CASEFILES SAM & TWITCH #14 CVO COVERT VAMPIRIC OPERATIONS ROGUE STATE #4 (OF 5) DARKNESS #19 DEADSHOT #4 (OF 5) DETECTIVE COMICS #804 DOCTOR SPECTRUM #5 (OF 6) DONT EAT THE ELECTRIC SHEEP #3 EXILES #60 FALLEN ANGEL #19 FIRESTORM #11 GI JOE RELOADED #13 HOT MOMS #5 (A) HUMANKIND #5 (OF 5) INTIMATES #5 JUSTICE LEAGUE ELITE #9 (OF 12) JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #7 KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #100 LEGEND #1 (OF 4) LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL #1 (OF 5) LOONEY TUNES #124 MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #1 MARVEL TEAM-UP #6 METAL GEAR SOLID #6 NODWICK #27 OCTAVIA #3 PER SKIN PAR SOUL POWERS #9 RAZORS EDGE WARBLADE #5 RISING STARS #24 SEVENTH SHRINE #1 (OF 2) SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL #2 (OF 7) STARGATE SG1 DANIELS SONG #1 SUPERMAN STRENGTH #3 (OF 3) SWAMP THING #13 TOE TAGS FEATURING GEORGE ROMERO #6 TWILIGHT EXPERIMENT #2 (OF 6) ULTIMATE IRON MAN #1 (OF 6) ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #73 VERONICA #159 VICTORIAN #25 (Of 25) WALKING DEAD #16 X-MEN AGE OF APOCALYPSE #1 (OF 6) X-MEN AGE OF APOCALYPSE ONE SHOT X-MEN FANTASTIC FOUR #4 (OF 5)

Book / Mag / Stuff CLASSIC DAN DARE VOL 4 HC MAROONED ON MERCURY COMICS GO TO HELL HC COMICS JOURNAL 2005 SPECIAL CONTEMPORARY TEEN TITANS SERIES 2 KID FLASH AF CONTEMPORARY TEEN TITANS SERIES 2 SUPERBOY AF CONTEMPORARY TEEN TITANS SERIES 2 ACTION FIGURE MASTER CASE DIAL & OTHER STORIES TP FABLES VOL 5 THE MEAN SEASONSTP FLESH AND METAL VOL 2 GN (A) FRANK MILLER SIN CITY VOL 2 DAME TO KILL FOR 2ND TP FRANK MILLER SIN CITY VOL 5 FAMILY VALUES 2ND TP GUNDAM SEED VOL 4 GN HELL HOUSE VOL 2 TP JLA VOL 16 PAIN OF THE GODS TP JOHN CONSTANTINE HELLBLAZER SPECIAL PAPA MIDNITE #2 (OF 5) ( JUNGLE TP LEVEL C VOL 1 GN (A) LITTLE LULU VOL 2 LULU TAKES A TRIP TP LO FI SUMMER 2004 VOL 1 #2 LOVE AS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE VOL 2 GN MINISTRY OF SPACE TP MUZZLERS GUZZLERS & GOOD YEGGS HC NAUSICAA OF THE VALLEY OF THEWIND 2 DISC DVD NEIL GAIMAN SHOGGOTHS OLD PECULIAR TP PROMETHEA BOOK 4 TP ROCKETS & ROBOTS GN RUROUNI KENSHIN VOL 12 TP SFX #127 SIZZLE #25 (A) SPIDER-MAN VOL 5 SPIDEY STRIKES BACK VOL 1 DIGEST TP STAR WARS CLONE WARS ADVENTURES VOL 3 TP SWALLOW BOOK ONE SWORD OF DRACULA TP TAROT CAFE VOL 1 GN TEENAGERS FROM MARS TP TENJHO TENGE VOL 1 WARCRAFT VOL 1 GN (OF 3) WHAT IF VOL 1 TP

It's Not the 2/23/05 Comics That Are Brain Dead...

It's me, I admit it. My next door neighbor had a noisy lawn party until very late in the night (morning) and I'm running on absurdly little sleep. So if my reviews lack a certain cogent something (like, I dunno, verbs or the like) , I apologize. One would think such a caveat would make me re-think this whole "jamming my opinions down people's throats" thing, at least for this week, but noooooo. Opinion jamming waits for no man, my friend. Also, because last week's gentlemanly disposition toward M. Hibbs prevented me from talking shit about Mark Millar, I reserve the right to review any book this week I want. If Bri doesn't like it, he can double-post.

As for them thar things certain folklings call funny books:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #517: "Quick, MJ! You've got to get to safety!" "I will! Right after rehearsal!" "Great, and pick up Aunt Wassername! Oh, and toilet paper! We're totally out of toilet paper." JMS's end-run continues to whimper along, as Peter inexplicably lets Vibranium Boy leave his apartment, is inexplicably blase about warning Aunt May or protecting Mary Jane, all so we can get some false drama on that last page reveal. What a drag. Eh.

AVENGERS EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROES #8: Ends pretty much where you would expect, and how you would expect. Not too crazy about the Cap's "You were great, baby. There's money on the dresser; buy yourself something pretty" scene with Rick but it's pretty close to how it played in the original, more or less. Which brings out my only real nagging problem with this mini, overall: Casey is savvy enough to tease out the dramatic undercurrents in the original stories, but is either unwilling or unable to take them anywhere new. Pretty; competent; pretty competent. OK.

BETTY & VERONICA SPECTACULAR #69: Note: Never, ever, ever see Larry Clark's Ken Park. But if you do, do not read Betty & Veronica Spectacular #69 (or any Archie comic, for that matter) the day after: it's horrible how similarly anti-narrative yr. average Clark film and yr. average Archie story are. Interestingly, the quiz says I'm more like Veronica than Betty, but I may have been subconsciously trying to swing the results. Eh.

BONEYARD #17: Richard Moore's Boneyard continues to be a great little read, month after month. I admit it gets overly cute from time to time, but not nearly as much as you would think, and Moore's got a great handle on his characters. His touch football game in this issue is exactly the sort of enjoyable between-epic breather that once suckered a whole generation into following Chris Claremont on X-Men for wayyyy too long. Good or Very Good, you make the call.

ENNIS & MCCREAS DICKS WINTER FUN SP #1: May have been the first one of these I really truly enjoyed, although I can't figure out why: maybe it's because both Ennis and McCrea seem much more focused this time out, although I really noticed the difference in how much tighter McCrea's work seemed--less loosey-goosey layouts with much tighter linework than usually ends up on Dicks. Just wish it had come out in December, is all. Good.

FANTASTIC FOUR #523: I'm baffled: Waid had a problem with Jemas's proposed FF-as-sitcom direction and quit? Because that's what a lot of his run has read like to me, and this issue even more so. I guess I'm more of a fanboy purist than I thought, because using Galactus as the center of an episode of Friends as directed by Frank Capra kinda irked me. Eh.

LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #3: So, either Waid's work is much better here than there, or it depends on if you're a Marvel fanboy or a DC fanboy. Because I, who've never followed the Legion books, thought this was Very Good material: A done-in-one that also progresses the larger storyline, re-introduces a bunch of characters, and affectionately riffs on silver-age staples. I think it's because Waid just has a grasp on the material here that's infinitely more sound than than on FF, but I'm aware of my biases, certainly.

MICHAEL CHABON PRESENTS ADV O/T ESCAPIST #5: I never quite feel like I'm having as much fun with this book as the creators are, although this issue may have come the closest, what with two relatively strong "straight" bookending stories and the two whimsical pieces in the middle by Chaykin and Geoffrey Brown, respectively. I thought Brown's piece was pretty great, actually, with all of its obviousness somehow not deluting the charm. Good, although kinda too pricey, really, for that not to be a qualified Good.

NIGHTCRAWLER #6: "This is like something out of The Grudge." No, The Grudge was scary. This is like something out of Scooby-Doo...or the Halloween episode of The West Wing, maybe. It looks too good, and Aguirre-Sacasa is too on top of the ball as far as characterization goes, to give this an Awful, but, jesus. Why not just have him be a private detective in Hawaii while you're at it? SEVEN SOLDIERS #0: A little hard to judge it on its own merits, since I'm sure it's layered with stuff that'll pay off later, but I certainly enjoyed it. I kinda wish I hadn't already been in on the issue's central joke, but that's what I get for following the Internet (and/or Previews) too closely. Overall, Morrison has something like Kirby's ability to take bits and pieces and constantly reassemble them in surprising new arrays. And that J.H. Williams sure knows his way around a layout, don't he? Very Good stuff.

SOLO #3: Giving me Paul Pope on OMAC is like giving one of Pavlov's dogs a visit to the National Dinner Bell Convention, but I think I liked the slice of life stories even better--a little piece about that damn flying ghost they sold in comic books way back when, and a vignette about the average night of a streetcorner bar that builds and ebbs like the energy of the evening itself. This was all great stuff, and I can't wait to see Pope throw his considerable energy into a big new project. Very Good.

STRANGE #4: I think I'm beginning to see the pitch here: "I've figured out a way to make Dr. Strange even more boring!" For a guy who worked for so long in film and TV, JMS drops the ball on the drama in a really big way--not only does Strange not have to earn his redemption anymore (since he's "special") but he didn't even earn his damnation (because his evil mystical pal "corrupted" him somehow). Perhaps next issue, we can just have the guy replaced with a block of wood and be done with it. Really awful.

UNCANNY X-MEN #456: By horrifying contrast to super-dull X-Men #167, I could totally see how--if I was still twelve--this would be kinda cool. X-Men versus superheroes from a timeline where dinosaurs remained the dominant lifeform? With a cute chick in an old Wolverine costume? It's not like that absurdly over-the-top issue of Uncanny (#107) where Dave Cockrum basically threw in an entire Legion of Superheroes analogue gratis (and since I was too dumb to figure that out, it seemed like Claremont and Cockrum had access to an infinite number of great throw-away ideas) but thanks to Alan Davis, this makes me remember what that felt like, and ranks a Good for that alone. Or maybe I'm just glad for a little reprieve from all the usual psionic B&D games...

X-MEN #167: Return of the angry mutant houseboy? Can we get ACTOR to fund a team of mercs to forcibly extract Pete Milligan from L.A.? What's scary is that was far more interesting than all the other "Golgotha" stuff, which now reads like "The Naked Time" meets that first half of the Buffy season before the writers have figured out exactly what the threat is. Awful. [And super-thanks to Franklin Harris for straightening out my leaden brain as to which title's which. D'oh.]

Y THE LAST MAN #31: If you can buy the shit that you really would never buy in a million years (355 pops ninja chick three times in the chest and doesn't bother with a finishing headshot? Like hell she does!), this was pretty Good. Mighty contrived in spots, but Good.