My Life is Choked with Comics #12 - Judex

Let me start this one off with a question.

Why does Batman laugh so much in All Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder?

There's a number of possible, more-or-less mutually inexclusive answers.

First, maybe writer Frank Miller is completely fucking nuts, and simply has no control over what his fingers are doing anymore, which, naturally, is why he's been entrusted with creative roles on expensive movie projects. Or maybe he's trying to tell jokes. I'd say about half of them make me smile.

Alternatively, perhaps Batman's cackle is an authorial one, just barely masking Miller's sneer toward a readership he holds in low regard, even as he scoops up their cash. Just recently, in an interview with The Comics Journal (#285, Oct. 2007), Darwyn Cooke deemed Miller's The Dark Knight Strikes Again "a hateful piece of junk." Those wouldn't be Cooke's first words on the issue, but this time it's the "hateful" that catches my eye, as it suggests active bad faith on Miller's part.

But there may be less wicked motives at play. For example, Miller may be drawing a parallel between his young Batman and a certain grinning arch-foe, set to appear in the series' next issue. The connections between the two have long been part of Bat-lore; who can forget the ending of Alan Moore's and Brian Bolland's Batman: The Killing Joke? Perhaps Moore would like to forget it, but the image remains suggestive of still-applicable character undercurrents, for better or worse. Madness! Extra-legality! Joy!

Hey, maybe Batman's just happy because he loves being Batman; he tells us as much via caption, after all. Going a bit deeper, Batman's joy is indicative of his freedom. That's probably the core theme running through at least the last twenty years of Miller's work - freedom. All of the costumed characters in All Star Batman are joyful when they can do as they please, outside of society's regulation, facing off against bad people and bad authority. Miller frowns at characters like his Superman and Green Lantern, who have the power of gods, but constrain themselves for whatever reason.

Taking All Star Batman as Batman: The Dark Knight Begins, you can see Miller's young Superman (who can't even tell he can fly, so low is his ambition) on the road to becoming the federal tool of Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, a journey that will only end happily as he embraces his true godly nature at the conclusion of DK2. Super-freedom! Miller stops the story before Superman and Batman inevitably come into conflict again, saving him the trouble of escaping the thematic corner he's painted himself into, but it's easy to guess that his heart will remain with Batman - he's a human who's found such glory within his person that he stands with gods. And it's all the funnier when the action is set in the old days, when superhero characters (and comics, stepping outside the fiction), didn't quite know what the hell they were up to yet.

Hmmm, 'old' things.

You know, it could be that Batman is laughing because that's what The Shadow did. Miller must be aware of the influence the famous radio and pulp character (first published in 1931, though a nebulous radio presence extended back a year) had on the 1939 creation of the gun-toting Bat-Man, so maybe he's just paying a little homage with his early days story.

So then, why's The Shadow laughing?

He's got a good, strong laugh. Chills the marrow of the bones, I hear. His cackle is routinely followed by the crack of twin automatics, linking joy to deadly violence. He's almost an aesthete in that way.

Really, why wouldn't he laugh? He's something pretty close to God on those Depression streets, commanding the unquestioning loyalty of a whole folk brigade, high and low class brought into the ranks. All are equal in the eyes of the false Lamont Cranston, the former Kent Allard.

He's so domineering a character -- yet aloof from human concern! -- that he proves tricky to write. As Dennis O'Neil wrote in his introduction to The Private Files of The Shadow, a 1989 collection of comics he produced with artist Michael Wm. Kaluta circa 1973-74: "Unthinking obedience to a man is fascism; unthinking obedience to a deity is merely good sense." To circumvent the potentially fascist aspect of the character, O'Neil set all of his stories on urban Depression streets, to remove the concept to a realm sliding into folklore, and declined to shade the title character's personality, so as to emphasize his godly correctness in isolating sectors of evil to smash.

Other comics writers grappled with similar concerns, in different ways - Howard Chaykin gleefully embraced the untoward political aspects of the concept in his 1986 modern revival, having the character bark repressive sentiments while leaping into battle as a queasy-yet-dazzling aspect of past people's fantasy, unique for his social cruelty. Writer Andy Helfer's 1987-89 ongoing follow-up gradually pressed the manic aspects of the concept into outright parody, mixing in absurd elements of peer genres (can you say "robot body?") to offset the bloody anxiety that the character embodies.

Indeed, O'Neil (back in that book intro) felt that Shadow creator Walter B. Gibson, while plainly influenced by the likes of Poe and Doyle -- not to mention Jimmie Dale, The Grey Seal, a 1917 masked rogue playboy crimefighter creation of Frank L. Packard -- was nevertheless unique in creating "instant folklore" by crafting a personification of urban anxiety as a force for good instead of ill. O'Neil further quotes one Chris Steinbrunner as observing:

"Menacing figures dressed in black had long been popular characters in mystery stories, films and plays... Gibson took this terrible, dread shape that had hitherto been the hero's nemesis and made it the hero. The Shadow was both the force for good and lurker in the darkness."

I agree with this summary of the character's undercurrent. But he was not the first.

I don't feel sturdy enough to tell you who the 'first' actually was, but I can tell you that there was another Mysterious Shadow, years before, a chaotic type of 'good' shaped by his own time and place. And one who didn't hail from radio or prose or comics, but the young art of cinema. His adventures were followed in the serial form. He had roots in the same place as the pulp heroes, yet his accoutrements were often those of the later 'superhero,' at least the dark, brooding, human-avenger-of-the-night variant.

He was called Judex, which we are told means "Justice." He debuted in a French movie serial named for him, which spanned thirteen episodes (an extra-length Prologue and twelve regular episodes) from 1916 to 1917. Just look at him. That black hat and cloak will never go out of style. Could use a little crimson, though.

But to best understand the concept of Judex, we must look to the career path of his co-creator, a French cinema giant by the name of Louis Feuillade.

Feuillade (1873-1925) was a bright light in French film as the silent era matured, and cooled toward its dusk; he'd hoped to be a famous poet in his youth, but he found himself at the film studio Gaumont in 1905, working as a scriptwriter. Feuillade rose through the company, quickly becoming artistic director of the studio and a hugely prolific filmmaker. He positioned himself as a sort of philosophical rival to the slightly younger-but-stronger studio Pathé, putting out series of light comedies and slice-of-life realist pictures to counter the sometimes loftier output of his rival. Feuillade's approach was determinedly populist:

"I consider cinema as a place for rest, cheerfulness, soft emotions, dreams, forgetfulness. Others want to turn it into the temple of the abstract, the bizarre, the hallucinatory and the deformed; this is their business... We don't always go to the movies to study. The public flocks to it to be entertained. I place the public above everything else. Since it is their own aim to be entertained, my only object should be to fulfill their desire. The public is my master."

That quote comes from Fabrice Zagury's insert essay to the 2000 Image Entertainment dvd release of Feuillade's famous 1915-16 serial Les Vampires. That and Judex, released to R1 dvd in 2004 by Flicker Alley, are his only works domestically available to North American viewers. This makes some sense, as Feuillade ultimately became most popular in his own time for his fantastic serial films.

Most commentators specify Feuillade's most lasting serial triumph as his 1913-14 screen outing for Marcel Allain's and Pierre Souvestre's ultra-popular arch-fiend Fantômas, star of prose fiction since 1911 (his influence continues to radiate - surely readers of this site recall the New X-Men character Fantomex). The project, totaling twenty-one chapters over five films, can currently be found on R2 PAL dvd from Artificial Eye.

It was a major success, and Feuillade soon moved to create his own weird villain epic, the aforementioned ten-chapter Les Vampires. Chronicling the Parisian criminal activities of the titular crime society, with special attention paid to iconic, black body stocking-clad villainess Irma Vep, the series caused a sensation, and was initially banned by police in the city of its setting as a glamorization of crime.

You can perhaps see why. Les Vampires is one of those good vs. evil tales in which the delight of evil is emphasized to the point where good's eventual triumph is rendered at best hollow, and at worst hypocritical. It is demanded we first luxuriate in the antics of Irma Vep and company, so long as we wash our hands later and applaud the superiority of virtue, which is so inherent that it apparently needs not be pressed much on the screen.

The film was also released in the midst of the Great War, and its on-location visions of empty city streets, plus its themes of a polite society terrorized, likely spoke to the anxieties of the public, Feuillade's master. He was never a darling of the filmic avant-garde of the time - beyond simple sniffing at unpopular aesthetic inclinations, he approached filmmaking from a novelistic viewpoint, and, while interested in the poetry of the image, he didn't supplicate narrative before the formal potentials of the cinema (I know debates over an artform's storytelling potential never happen today, but bear with me). Still, his deadpan intrusions of the nervous uncanny into poetic visions of anxious-yet-real locations inspired the likes of arch-Surrealist André Breton, and the redoubtable Luis Buñuel.

But wait... all this 'embodiment of anxiety' sounds a bit like O'Neil's conceptualization of The Shadow. You might as well extend that to Batman, Miller's or Moore's or otherwise. Only, these characters are presented to us as moody protectors from the really nasty aspects of contemporary life.

Judex, serial and character, is a bridge. In several ways. He joins the detective and costumed adventurer heroes of the literature and drama -- Sherlock Holmes, The Scarlet Pimpernel, etc. -- to the pulp characters and superheroes of the slightly later 20th century. At the same time, he joins the then-popular master criminal character type -- Fantômas and Fu Manchu debuted at roughly the same time in France and England, respectively -- to the 'dark' hero archetype often showcased in later comics and stories. And beyond even that, he represents a turning point in Feuillade's popular filmmaking.

Feuillade and writer Arthur Bernède very likely created Judex as a means of preserving some of the nasty, popular flavor from the director's earlier costumed epics, while also promoting wholesome values. Good notions that wouldn't get the authorities and cultural commentators angry with them. Judex was a new black-clad character, one who'd move outside the laws of society and command great fear, but who'd only bedevil the bad sorts. Anarchy that wouldn't piss the police off. A Fantômas you could take home to grandma. And even better - over the course of his adventure he'd learn compassion, fall in love with a sweet girl, and insert himself smoothly into clean bourgeoisie living.

Put simply, with Judex, the superhero is not a dream of protection in which the madness of modern living springs out with might and fury to save us from our fellow humans. Rather, the superhero is anarchy's domestication, a fantasy of the madness itself calming into the status quo and realizing virtue. Despite being another wartime release, his film does not so much as admit a war is happening; it can be presumed the Great War has not yet begun for Judex, and thus he can sink cozily into a proper, popular notion of the status quo. Unlike The Shadow, or Miller's Batman, he does not laugh. He does not need to.

That makes Judex-the-serial a very odd watch for today's superhero enthusiast. I mean, beyond just being a silent movie, which is an acquired taste to begin with. Then again, maybe the fantastic aspect of Feuillade's grounded art helps things out for today's viewer; Walter Kerr theorized in his excellent 1975 book The Silent Clowns that silent comedy can be enjoyed 'as is' by modern viewers because the limitations on realism mandated by the technology of the time do not distract from foolery as they do drama, so natural is the former in an unreal place. I think that may extend to the mad stories of Feuillade. Be warned, though - nothing this cool happens, or could even be expected. This adventure's all about being nice, which really sets the character against his spiritual descendants.

So many similarities, though! Judex is the alter ego of one Jacques de Tremeuse, a lad born into riches. Sadly, his father takes on the poor financial advice of sly capitalist Favraux, and winds up killing himself in shame over losing the clan's cash... just seconds before the family finds out that a gold mine will insure their prosperity for eons to come! Jacques' angry mother makes him and his brother Roger swear on their father's corpse to exact awful vengeance on Favraux, which naturally inspires Jacques to grow up to be the kind of guy who dresses in a fancy black costume, hides out in a gadget-stocked subterranean cave, sets up a network of helpers in the surrounding area, trains a large pack of dogs and a small flock of birds to be his helpers, and masters the art of disguise. Roger's there too, as his non-costumed sidekick.

But Judex isn't even in the Prologue. Sort of. Viewers used to American sound serials might be thrown by the pace Feuillade maintains, more akin to the serial novels of Dumas than a cliffhanger-every-episode matinee thrill ride. For his beginning, Feuillade sketches in the twisted relationships of a large cast, all of them brought together at Favraux's country estate.

His daughter, Jacqueline, is planning to remarry after her husband's death, although she's been hooked up with a slimy, in-debt aristocrat that only wants her money. Also a fan of money is the diabolical Diana Monti (played by Irma Vep herself, the great "Musidora"), a crime queen who's posing as nursemaid for Jacqueline's foppy lil' son while actually serving as Favraux's mistress, in hopes of slipping into his will. She's backed by criminal lifer Moralés, who's actually the lost son of another man Favraux ruined, Kerjean, an elderly ruin who's fresh out of jail and after an apology. He unknowingly prompts Judex, who's disguised as yet another member of the cast (a fact not revealed for several episodes), to make his move, threatening via letter to kill Favraux if he doesn't give half his fortune to the poor. This necessitates the presence of a bumbling novice detective, Cocantin, who completely fails to protect Favraux, who *gasp* *choke* falls dead just as Judex predicted! How weird and uncanny!

It's a very decently structured start, followed up by some quick action. The sheltered Jacqueline learns of her late father's ill deeds, tosses her slickster fiancée out, and gives the whole blood money fortune away to charity, winning the eternal loathing of Diana Monti. Meanwhile, Favraux isn't actually dead - Judex and company spirit his stunned ass away to a holding cell deep in Our Hero's Chateau-Rouge headquarters, where he's left to await execution. Judex keeps tabs on him with an "electric mirror" and a typewriter that makes words of fire appear on the wall in Favraux's room (this is the stuff the Surrealists ate up, btw). But even as the villain slowly goes nuts, Judex's chill heart begins to melt over good Jacqueline, who's taken on work to support her son, and is vulnerable to the plots of Diana Monti, who's very nearly on to the whole scheme.

Much of the rest of the serial sees Judex 'n pals saving Jacqueline from peril, all while the hero frets over whether to reveal himself to the woman who considers him her father's killer. High melodrama indeed, interspersed with slapstick comedy from Cocantin, or a street urchin called the Licorice Kid (I tend to laugh at any joke involving small children smoking cigarettes, and there's several here). The cast shifts and swirls from role to role, crooks going straight only to turn back to crime, and various Judex allies shifting from location to location. Complications pile up, and several outrageous coincidences occur.

It's very much a 'values' film. Judex is connected with earlier madmen and villains, locking a guy up in a cave and leaving him there to flip out, but he gradually becomes kinder. Locations are heavily bucolic, setting the work apart from the urban simmer of earlier serials, and implicitly celebrating a simpler way of life. Feuillade's camera never moves; his eye for beautiful and quietly menacing natural settings is very fine, as is his sense of composition, although he's fascinatingly prone to let little errors -- a man dropping his pipe, a dog leaping into a car while a character enters -- remain present in the finished work. His is a poised, but not controlled realism.

The overriding sex of Irma Vep is absent - here, it's mostly the pure Jacqueline, all cream and light (not actually a virgin, given the kid, but close enough), set against the sexually open and therefore evil Diana Monti. A late-in-the-game addition of a plucky adventuress character (who even gets decked out in Judex's cloak for a rescue scene) does relieve the work of its virgin-whore complex, although Feuillade takes every opportunity he can to play up the character's t&a, leaving the male gaze intact. Huh. Almost like a real superhero comic, then!

And yet, all this celebration of the bourgeoisie does give Judex a certain something that's lacking from the pulp and comic works that would follow in its save-the-day footsteps. First, there's real attention paid to the aristocratic aspects of the rich superhero setup. As Judex's faith in his mission of revenge fades, the very first thing he does is travel to the family estate, in full costume no less, and ask Mother permission to call off the vengeance. Imagine Batman having to run his missions by Martha Wayne before leaving stately Wayne Manor. But for Judex, familial bonds and tradition are of the utmost importance.

Moreover, in chronicling his uncanny character's path from cruelty to humaneness, Feuillade paints this early superhero with super-compassion, and characterizes his 'super' nature as being a catalyst for forgiveness and reunion. After the kidnapping of Favraux, he never attacks thugs or the like, only using lethal force for self-defense. In a wonderful scene near the finale, Diana Monti sticks a gun in his face, but he calmly brushes it aside, saying "I'm here to negotiate." Diplomacy has never seemed so mighty!

Obviously I'm 'reading' this work from the perspective of 21st century superhero comics, and maybe I've just read way too many of those, but there's something genuinely touching about the work's faith in people as good at heart, and inclined toward peace and forgiveness. Could it be the ultimate wartime fantasy? The greatest weird aspect of a work forced to live in a world more suited to Les Vampires? Every death in this work is anti-heroic, and deeply sad. Feuillade lingers on the pleading eyes of a man shot down after a car chase. When Diana Monti meets her end, her body coughed up ashore from the sea she plunged into, a man crouches sadly over her. You wonder how her life went that she got there. Musidora's eyes always seem tired in this work, as if her character has been through an awful lot.

Europe went through an awful lot more. Even though Judex finds some happiness and stops wearing that fucking costume -- the final step in chaos' movement toward order -- there was nevertheless a 1917-18 sequel serial from Feuillade & Bernède titled The New Mission of Judex. I haven't seen it. I don't know where I could see it. Maybe he fights the Penguin? The original story was remade twice, once in the 1934 feature Judex 34, written by Bernède himself and directed by Feuillade's son-in-law, Maurice Champreux, and then in 1963 under the plain Judex title, from Cinematheque Française co-founder and Eyes Without a Face director Georges Franju, who supposedly plays up the WWI connection and the period gender roles in his homage. The character has also appeared in Jean-Marc & Randy Lofficier-edited Tales of the Shadowmen anthology, a sort of Wold Newton Universe thing for France.

But his primary adventures never continued after the war.

It's one of those odd little extra-fiction coincidences that the timeline of Judex seems to end precisely where that of the pulp Shadow begins, and in exactly the same place. One could easily imagine Jacques de Tremeuse skulking his romantic head around the shadow-black wartime France, and running into a certain French-allied agent by the name of Kent Allard. The enormity of the world-stopping focusing event that was the Great War facilitates such possibilities, out in the fields of black and red disaster.

Perhaps there -- metafictionally speaking, and with hindsight -- we can imagine that a ticklish desire for chaos to cool, and grasp virtue, was transformed into a yowl for justice to incarnate from the smoke. Fashion tips were exchanged, and the cloak was passed. Ironically, it went from a good devil, who'd hardly lift a finger in violence unless direly pressed, to a cruel cherubim, his song the work of blazing twin automatics. He'd shoot them all down, and laugh.

It's all you can do, sometimes.

The Happy Place

I was a little surprised how much I enjoyed Disneyland, actually. It probably was seeing it through the four year old's eyes, of course. A bitter old man like me? I'm generally cynical about those kinds of affairs, but Ben just was full of joy and wonder of the whole thing, that all of that cynicism kind of washes off.

We went down on Wednesday night, catching the "last flight in" -- well, from Oakland to John Wayne, at least. I think I've decided to never EVER catch a flight from SFO again, if there's an equivalent flight from Oakland, because Oakland is such a teeny little airport. We get to Oakland, via public transportation (of which the only kind of feh part is transferring to AirBart at the coliseum station -- pretty scummy at nighttime there), and we're outnumbered by attendants at the ticketing counter like 10 to one. This is VERY different from SFO, where there would be at least a 20 minute wait to get through the ticketing phase. Security? NO line. AT ALL. What joy, what bliss! And the plane is maybe half full, so we have the entire row to ourselves. Man, I'm a dumbass for EVER flying from SFO.

An hour later we're in Orange County at John Wayne, so we hop a cab (and to the guy who asked -- nope, I have no idea how to drive. Well, I have "an idea", but I don't do it. The last time I tried, I crashed the Capital City van into a parked car, and took that as a Sign) I tell the cabbie -- "Park Vue motel, please; they're at 1570 South Harbor, directly accross the street from the main gates of Disneyland." The driver replies, "OK. How do I get there?"

...

Maybe it is me, but you'd think a cab stationed at the OC airport would know where freakin' DISNEYLAND is. And maybe it is also me, but aren't most people hopping a cab from the airport people who don't drive, and, so, probably don't have a clear idea of the best routes from one place to another? He calls dispatch, and we get there, all good.

Roll into the Park Vue (not that one can actually "vue" anything other than the GATE of the park, but OK) about 10:30, check in -- it is neat and clean and fairly quiet (at least in the back where I asked to be put), and pretty much exactly what one wants from a travel motel. Especially at 1/3 of the price of the Disney Resorts. This works especially well for us because we're literally only there to sleep. Park opens at 10, check-out time is 11, so it's not like we're coming back after our 8 hours of sleep. Within half-an-hour, we both crash, but I let Ben have like 10 minutes of TV. I like the fact that when I turn on the TV, it's the Disney cable station, and not a hotel channel like you'd get at one of the national chains.

Wake up around 8 (that's way LATE for Ben, he was tired, but under his normal # of hours of sleep, since we went to bed so late [for him, WAY early for me] -- so I'm concerned how his energy level is going to be for the day), take a quick shower, then go check out, and go to IHOP for breakfast (literally next door to the Park Vue, literally across the street from Dland). I haven't eaten in an IHOP in like 20 years, but I'm STUNNED by the terrible quality of the food -- how do you make pancakes taste so awful? Are they frozen? Pancakes take SECONDS to cook, so I don't really get it, if so. I eat less than half of my breakfast, Ben eats all of the whipped cream and chocolate chips from his "funny face", and maybe two bites max of the food. Jinkies, no sleep AND no food, got to watch the kid careful all day.

There was no real indication in Anaheim that SoCal was on fire -- no wiff of smoke in the air, which I expected, just a hazy day. Actually, it was kind of cool, when we saw the morning sun it was a blood red sun, totally spectacular looking.

We buy the tickets to the park from the front desk as we check out, costing me, I think, and extra $2 per?, but I was there already, and had no idea what the line to buy would be at the park (5 minutes later I saw that I was stupid about it, there WAS no line, but you live, you learn), and what the hell?

We're on Disneyland property at 9:30, so not much for it but to get in line for the park itself. There looks to be a couple hundred people in the ten or so entry lines for Dland. Many MANY of them are adults-without-kids, which surprises me a little, I guess -- you'd think that the Hardcore Adult Disney people would have the kinds of passes that get them in for the "Early Entry" at 9, and while a lot of people are flowing through that gate there are still lots of adults around us standing in the Dilettante's line, who are covered head to toe in DisneyStuf, great gobs of it personalized, so I dunno how it all works.

Main gates shock me by opening at 9:45, but then I see they lead us into Main St., so we can stroll around there. This is fine, there's lots of stuff to see on the way there and Ben's all excited. Once you're on Main st, they cordon off the sidewalks for the "early entry" people, which is sorta despicable really. See, you're on the 1950's style-main street, with all of these cool little shops, and enticing window displays, and all of this, but you can't even get close enough to them to get a good look. Our spot in the crowd/line brought us in front of a candy-store, and they were making candy in the window, and Ben really wanted to see better, but the Early Entry Police swept in with "please don't get on the sidewalk". They were, Disney-style, very NICE about it, but it seems really awful to me to put children in a holding pen filled with enticing objects, then tell them they can't go near them!

Anyway, a minute or two before the speakers kick in with a recorded "welcome to Disneyland!" spiel, which just seems so unnecessary to me, this is DISNEYLAND after all, but there, I'm being cynical Adult. And there's a tiny countdown, and the bells strike, and Disneyland is open, and people start running (haha! Especially after they JUST told you not to) for rides, and Ben and I start off by trying to find exactly where the Haunted Mansion is, because the road to New Orleans Square isn't specifically marked, and I find a lot of the subtler details of the official map to be actually pretty confusing because the scale is so small. I really do think that some more general signage about which which part is which way would be a decent idea, at least at the front of the park.

Anyway, so yeah Haunted Mansion. Ben, as I have told you many times before, has interests that tend to run as obsessions -- first it was garbage and garbage trucks, then it became Mummies, and currently it is Halloween in general (with a sidebar of Pirates). He's going to be hating life come Novemeber 1st, poor kid. So all he has been talking about for weeks is the Haunted Mansion, and how that is what he wants to do.

We get there, and BEAUTY, there's literally no one there, we stroll right up into the front door, and the attendant is even able to banter individually with Ben a bit while he waits for enough people to start it, and he does it in this great Late Night TV Host kind of shtick, with puns and stuff, so there's a great start and all of my adult cynicism starts to wander away. The Haunted Mansion, during Halloween, is all decked out as Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas, and holy freakin' cow is it an awesome little spectacle, full of life and wit and verve, and there's even the Danny Elfman soundtrack to go along with it, so it's a zipper of imagery and madness, hoorah.

We go out the exit, and Ben's eyes are like saucers, and he has this wide grin on his face and he exults "Daddy, let's do it again!!". No problem, boss, that was fun, and there ain't no lines, let's go!

We come out the second time, and again "Daddy, let's do it again!!". This becomes the common refrain for the day! I punt this time, explaining there are LOTS of rides here, so let's go do Pirates. "OK!"

Virtually no line at Pirates (under 3 minutes), and Ben gets another set of thrills. I watch Pirates and I'm somewhat amazed that this is in a DISNEY park, and is meant as a ride for Children. Murder! Pillage! Arson! Drunkenness! And the crowd goes wild! Well, Ben does at least: "Daddy, let's do it again!!" So we do, and he loves it as much the second time.

Then Ben wants to do the Haunted Mansion a THIRD time. Well hell, why not?

Its starting to get late enough (Park's been open an hour or so) that I say to Ben we should go try something else, maybe Winnie the Pooh or Splash Mountain, and someone passing by says they've just come from Splash Mountain, and they kicked everyone out of line and said it would be an hour before it reopened. Well, let's go to Pooh anyway -- it's time, I reason, for something a little slower/more innocent for the boy.

Now we hit our first line of the day -- all of 10 minutes or so long, but a line nonetheless. I start the many of "we're in line, eat some food!" exercises, and he nibbles on carrots and pretzels. Get on Winnie, and its, geez, 3 minutes long maybe? I also really see here the limitations of the "Dark Rides", and that it is actually difficult to create a coherent narrative in that kind of presentation. Scene just cuts from scene to scene, but there's nothing pushing the narrative besides the movement of your vehicle. Ben is disappointed in Pooh as well. "That's too short, and there wasn't any spooky stuff!" I would have thought the hallucinatory Hefalump scene would be pretty close, but what do I know? First ride he DOESN'T want to go on again. Actively so.

Pooh is across the street from Splash Mountain, and it sure looks open, and the line is basically nothing at all, so I ask the boy if he's ready for his first roller coaster? It might be scary, y'know, it goes really fast and there's big scary drops. "I won't be scared, Daddy!" he says, fixing me with a look that says What Kind of A Child Do You Think I am?

I'm worried because Ben just had his annual checkup, and his official height was 39.5", and most of the Rollers have a 40" minimum. But, ha ha, the soles of his sandals pull him just over the min. He gets called out of line at every ride with a min to be checked, of course, but he's good to go.

Ben LOVED Splash Mountain -- it fact, I was a super-softy and decided to splurge the nearly $20 for the 8x11 glossy of the picture of the drop because the look on Ben's face was this one of absolute joy and rapture that only a four-year old can have, and it certainly wasn't something I could ever capture on film while I was riding with him.

Here's how I know Ben had an excellent time: Sometime around now, he looked at me very solemnly and said, "Daddy, when are we going to go to Disneyland?" Uh, what, Ben? We're AT Disneyland. "No, I mean, when are we going to go AGAIN?!?"

He wants to ride Splash Mountain again, but at this point the lines look like 20-30 minutes to me, so I said lets go to the Pirate Island. "Cool!". Well, it used to be Tom Sawyer's island, but now it is pirates. Generic ones, too, not branded ones, so even better. Stuff for him to run around and explore things and play a bit, after standing in line and sitting and riding. I had thought this would be a lame idea, but its perfect for a 3-10 year old really, and we spent 45 minutes there, and I pretty much had to drag him back to the rides, he could have stayed another hour. Were we at the park for more than 1 day, I would have indulged him. One bummer: there was supposed to be a meeting with the pirate Captain to say a pirate oath and join his band and get some treasure, but the Captain was on his lunch break, and it would have been another hour.

By now its getting hot, and Ben's looking tired. We find a water fountain, and sluice ourselves. Ben says, "Oh, my clothes are getting wet!" So? They'll dry, it's warm, and, besides, your head feels all refreshed now, right? "Yeah, Daddy!" (if we HAD been there for two days, this is the point I think we would have gone back to the hotel for a break of an hour or two. But we had a plane to catch in 6 hours, and no hotel room any longer, anyway, so we'll go on. Ben's looking fine now that he's cooled down, and he wants to do as much of it we can.

We head to Tomorrowland next, and hit Star Tours first. Its one of those motion simulator things, which I generally find to be limp, but Ben loved all of the Jerking and explosions. "Daddy, let's do it again!!", but I demurred this time.

Then we did the Buzz Lightyear ride, while is a simple Dark Ride, with the twist that you have laser guns and are shooting at targets along the wall, which is pretty darn awesome. You rack up a score, and at the end of the ride the picture of you in your car shooting and your score can be emailed to any email address. Very cool! "Daddy, let's do it again!!" OK! Ben improved his score by 40% on the second go round. I only managed 10% better!

Next up we did Space Mountain, which has been VERY upgraded since I last did it 30-something years ago. Wow, it is dizzying now! My memory sez it was like a black curtain with little pinpricks in it to simulate space back then, but now it was like actually flying through space. This was the longest line we waited in -- nearly 20 minutes, but it was totally worth it. "Daddy, let's do it again!!" Well, I wouldn't have because... 20 more minutes in line? but I didn't have to make the decision because JUST as our car pulled in at the end of our first run an announcement came out that they had to stop the ride for some reason, and everyone currently riding it should be patient, and it would start again soon. Wow, that's the LAST ride I'd want to have the illusion broken by stopping in the middle, and (maybe?) having to be walked off in the dark! As we left, I noticed that they were kicking everyone out of line who had already been waiting. Sucks!

We had some horrible overpriced pizza in Tomorrowland (Disney just RAKES in the cash in the park, it's kinda scary really), then moved on to Fantasyland. Ben was starting to get a little pooped, but he didn't want to rest -- he wanted ice cream! Hah, well, sure after we do the last patch of rides, so that kept his interest up.

Did the Matterhorn, which, sorry, is WAY scarier than any of the rest of the roller coasters there, since it seems so old (seriously, there's rust everywhere), and one gets the feeling that sooner or later a car IS going to jump the tracks. Knock wood against that though. Ben did want to do it again, however, but I passed in the interest of hitting more rides.

Did the Tea Cups, which he loved (what 4 year old doesn't love spinning), but he didn't ask for again; then the flying Dumbo ride which amused him (he wanted to stay in the "up" position, however), but didn't want to ride again. Then we did a sweep of the "dark rides", Pinocchio (horrifically dull), Peter Pan (pretty astonishingly good, actually -- did they upgrade this recently? they really hid the tracks well, and there was a strong sense of flying, even without swooping or anything), and Snow White's Scary Adventure, which we saw 7 year girls coming out of in tears, but Ben just laughed and laughed about and thought was cool. Little boys, eh?

We completely missed Mickey's Toon Town (no time)

We go for the Ice Cream on Main St, and split a Hot Fudge Sundae while sitting on the sidewalk, and the hour is growing late. I decide that, if we haul ass, we have exactly enough time for one last ride, and Ben opts for Star Tours. Alright, then, we scramble back to it, get a very minor line, but still make it through quickly, and I scoop Ben in my arms and start the jog back to the entrance. We've got a car scheduled for 6:20 (yeah, we had to go early enough to miss the parade and fireworks and stuff), and I make it back to the hotel at 6:22. Car's stuck in traffic, they pull up at 6:25, we're at the airport about 6:50. Again, no one there, breeze through ticketing.

At Security, I pass through fine, but Ben sets off the machine. Ha Ha! He had too many metal studs on his clothes. Still, they had to to the whole wand procedure with him, with his arms out. Ben thinks it is all funny funny. Then, they do the whole run with me, as well, since I'm his guardian. Ben thinks THIS is funny too, I am less amused.

Then we flew back home, and dreamed happy happy dreams, and promised to make this (or maybe just a trip just the two of us somewhere, not necessarily Dland) an annual Father & Son trip.

Awesome!

-B

Another head hangs lowly: Graeme goes XXX from 10/24.

The quickest review of CRAWL SPACE: XXXOMBIES #1 that you need: Remember "Planet Terror" from Grindhouse? Imagine that starring the cast of Boogie Nights, and that's just what this comic is like.

The slightly less quick review: Surprisingly, it doesn’t suck. I’m not sure if that sounds like damning with faint praise or not, but man, I’m really sick of zombie books at this point (Marvel Zombies 2 review aside. And even there, I was really surprised by the fact that that didn’t suck, either. Maybe I was just reading bad zombie books?), and despite the creative team attached to this book, I was pretty much assuming that this would be a pretty average 22-or-so pages with little to recommend it to others. How little I knew; Rick Remender’s writing hits just the right tone of winking to the audience with every set-up throughout the entire book. There’s no originality here, but that’s pretty much the point – The characters are meant to be generic, stock types, stereotypical sketches so that you can already begin to expect their inevitable, poetic-justice-laden demise (Not that I expect the series to stick to tried-and-true formula all the way through to the end. If our nervous, premature ejaculator gets to the last page and wins the girl of his dreams, I have to admit that I’ll be disappointed). What there is, however, is a particularly tongue-in-cheek humor to the whole thing, an acknowledgement that it’s schlock but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be entertaining schlock.

Meanwhile, Kieron Dwyer’s artwork makes the whole thing sing. It’s easily one of the best things about the book, just beautiful work that skates close to caricature without being overwhelmed by it, clear and easy on the eye as it effortlessly tells the story. It's the kind of artwork that you look at and wonder why Dwyer isn't a star whose fanbase can keep any project aloft indefinitely, before you remember that artstars are people like Michael Turner these days and get depressed.

(Of course, working on books like this instead of the next big Marvel crossover limits his audience as well, but you can’t help but see his enthusiasm for this project on every page. He’s happier doing this kind of thing that drawing Thor pout at Iron Man, you kind of end up thinking.)

As with Grindhouse, this isn’t for everyone, or even trying to win over anyone new into the genre. Instead, it’s an enthusiastic and unapologetic celebration of the genre, right down to zombies that really do say "...Brains..." when they’re hungry. The idea of yet another shuffling undead book might not make you want to take out your wallet, but the idea of talented creators having fun doing Good work they love might...

Abhay Likes Sean Phillips's Covers for Vinyl Underground, But...

This is a negative review of Vinyl Underground #1, a new "ongoing" series from DC Vertigo: Why does DC-Vertigo think that I give a flying fuck about London? Does London have New York City in it somewhere? No? Then, I don't really care about London. Right this second, you have a plane ticket to anywhere: would you really go to London? It's not even near my Top 5, and I have family there. Madrid. Rome. Lisbon. Reykjavik. Svenborgia. Athens. Amsterdam-- does London have hash bars? No? See you in Amsterdam, boring Vertigo comic. And that's just Western Europe!

Vinyl Underground #1 pretends to be about London so-- just on some fundamental level, I'm not really sympathetic with the series' stated goals.

Add in that it's not really about London much at all, at least in the first issue-- like most comics, it's just sort of about bullshit. The premise of this comic: there's a bunch of crappy characters; they have to solve some crappy mystery; that's it. Ho hum: it's not really about anything.

The only thing you really learn about London is that apparently some people there do a legal drug called “Khat.” That's really the only information that's conveyed. No one really talks about the city or its history. You don't find out good places to hang out. You don't really find out about interesting neighborhoods or trends or bars. Or why London's important, or why it matters, or why you should care about it.

Also: a comic about London and you can’t squeeze a single Pakistani or Indian person in there anywhere? Really? It’s a Vertigo comic—if there’s one thing I know about Vertigo, I know for a 100% certainty that the colorist didn’t run out of brown.

Craftwise, let me ask you a question: how excited can you get by a comic that looks like this? Which isn't to say it's ugly: I like Simon Gane's pencils; I like Cameron Stewart's inks; I like Guy Major's colors. Man, those are three talented dudes. But presentation-wise, this basically looks like a Batman comic. So look: why shouldn't I just read Batman instead? How important do you think it is for a non-mainstream comic to distinguish itself visually from a mainstream comic? It's nice, but there's nothing that signals this as special or unique. It's nice but it's not... more. It's just business as usual. If you're Joe Comic Reader, why get this when you can get something that looks like this, and reads like this, but has some cool character in it you already know and like? Game, Set and Match: the Batman.

Characterwise, the book unfortunately reminds me of American Virgin, a hideously written Vertigo comic with some very nice art that was canceled just recently. In the few issues I read (I gave up after #3 or #4 after sticking around out of morbid curiosity), the lead character was wildly fucking abrasive; he just seemed fake. I couldn’t imagine people would want to come back and read about such a thoroughly phony and unpleasant main character month after month.

This comic...

One character's a convicted sex offender because he set up a "bogus kiddie porn" website to entrap pedophiles-- but he went to jail because he'd "spent all the punters' money." At the risk of looking stupid on a comic book review blog: why does that mean he's a sex offender? If the website were bogus, wouldn't that have meant that at most he committed fraud? I’m not sure but: DC either publishes the heroic adventure of a character who went to jail for trafficking in child pornography, or they publish a comic about a guy who didn't traffic in kiddie-porn but was a registered sex offender anyway because...? Either way…

Another character's a "nymphomaniac virgin" who is "the only on-line porn star who never goes all the way." Which, uhm, is wrong: there are any number of online porn stars who don't go all the way. There's softcore or semi-softcore websites where the appeal of the girls to their audience is plainly that they haven't been in hardcore scenes. It's porn-- there's no "only" anything; no matter what you want, there's a half-dozen websites for it. Why doesn't the writer know that? Is that supposed to be funny? It's just wrong. It's factually inconsistent with how I understand the world to work. It’s meaningless.

Blah blah blah, there’s the leader (he’s had sex!), the useless girl (he’s a psychic, but he has seizures), the hothead (she’s black so that means she’s sassy!), and the muscle (the virgin girl who does porn also enjoys violence!). So, the useless girl in this comic is a boy, while the muscle in this comic is a girl. Pretty daring stuff.

None of them say anything funny or interesting or intelligent. A dull "sex scene" aside, none of them seem to like each other very much, or really be friends in any noticeable way. What's supposed to bring people back for #2? What makes them worth your time or attention? Who is this comic for?

Then there's a scene where the young white girl tries to buy drugs and is almost raped at knifepoint by two black drug dealers and a token white character thrown in to ... to, what, somehow make the scene somehow palatable to liberal sensitivities? It doesn’t really work that way. Isn’t the plain implication of a token white character in a gang of black rapists the following: "hang out with the Africans and adopt their fashions, white-boy, and you too will become subhuman"? Uhhhm: hrm.

There's a moment in this comic where there's a news headline that says "Going Straight After 18 Months" at the bottom of the page. Besides that a caption that says "hang on a second though.. let's rewind for the true and secret story..." The next page starts: "Morrison Shepherd, broken down and broken-hearted drug-and-drink-free for twenty-eight months and counting." My question is this: does rewind mean something different in London than it does over here? Like the way "fags" over here means "cigarettes" over there, or "homosexuals" over here means "coffee cakes" over there. What does "rewind" mean?

Oh yeah: there's some bullshit about psychic powers and the occult. I don't know why the real world is so fucking studiously avoided by comic book writers, as I tend to think it's a rather lovely place to live-- but for those of you looking for a comic about psychic powers and magical pixie dust sprinkled on ha-has and unicorns scissor-fucking rainbows and whatever else fake bullshit, here's one more for you, I guess.

What’s especially difficult is to understand how this got picked up as an ongoing series, given that Vertigo’s last dalliance with a comic about London did so badly. Did they ever collect Peter Milligan and Philip Bond’s Pop:London? I believe sales were so low that they never bothered, which is a shame as it was one of Peter Milligan’s better comics—I was and am very fond of it. That was only a few years ago and it failed spectacularly.

Did they think that sales would somehow be better with a guy who doesn't draw as well as Phillip Bond, and a guy who doesn’t write as well as Peter Milligan so long as they kept the setting in London, a place the majority of the readership (uh: who live in the United States) doesn't care the least bit about?

What were they even thinking?

I don't know if I'd describe myself as an Anglophile, but I know my Charlie Brooker from my Tommy Saxondale; I know where BBC-America’s on my dial; I think Britain's Hardest is cracking good television; and I still could give a fuck that a comic’s set in London. Is there a sizable hardcore Anglophile audience that sprang up after the failure of Pop London that I’m unaware of?

There’s a time and a place for this comic; it’s called 2000AD. We ignore that comic over here.

It's Not Easy Being... Aw, you know the rest: Graeme gets hard on the Corps from 10/24.

After being one of the summer's more interesting crossovers, GREEN LANTERN CORPS #17 continues the "Sinestro Corps" storyline's slow slide into chaos. Unlike the last issue of Green Lantern, where things happened in such a way as to be far less dramatic than you'd have hoped for, this issue sees very little happen at all. Sure, there's an attempt to have everything feel filled with urgency and drama, but it's all fairly obviously playing for time, and little plot advancement occurring (In fact, beyond the new Ion being revealed, I don't think any plot advancement happens at all). Part of this may be due to the delay in Green Lantern #25 that's just been announced, but I'm wondering how much of this is also down to the storyline being extended past original plans just because it's one of the few things that's popular over at DC these days.

Certainly, what happens in the issue isn't what was solicited, with only one of those promised plot beats happening in the issue itself, instead building up to a big showdown next issue, which was originally solicited as the epilogue to the entire event (and also the debut of new writer Peter Tomasi; I really hope that this subpar issue wasn't Dave Gibbons' last, because it's a sad was to go out, especially missing the final chapter of the storyline). To add to the feeling of last-minute filler, this issue has three guest artists in addition to regular artist Patrick Gleason, who only seems to contribute the cover and the last page of the story... A page that, if you're like me, have already had spoiled for you by the TALES OF THE SINESTRO CORPS: SUPERMAN-PRIME oneshot (which is Okay, but won't do Geoff Johns' reputation for hyperviolence any good; Pete Woods' art is great, though, and I have no idea why he's not on any regular book these days) which you read first, thinking that it wouldn't involve any major plotlines.

Obviously, reading a book which not only feels like playing for time, but also a letdown from previous issues, is going to come across badly. Nonetheless, this is still Okay, mostly because of the momentum that the storyline's already built up. With the next chapter a month away, and the final chapter delayed, here's hoping that everything can be pulled together in such a way as to deliver the payoff that makes it all worthwhile.

I Liked the Hand in the Lower Right Corner of the Cover: Jog with a 10/24 quick one

Sometimes I read a comic, and I just feel like writing about it immediately. And what's the internet good for if not instant gratification?

Foolkiller #1 (of 5): Well, this is a piece of work. While nominally a MAX revival of the Steve Gerber vigilante genre critique, it mostly reads like something that dropped out of an alternate dimension where EC's crime and horror comics thrived and mutated into market-ruling decadence. It's got a desperate crook narrator, a nasty sense of humor, and plenty of grotesque yet distinctly cheesy ironic fates in store for immoral souls. It's dizzyingly lurid.

Nate McBride is a former NFL defensive lineman turned collections heavy for a diabolical online poker operation. He thought he could rip 'em off, but he wound up with his hand fed to a garbage disposal, his wife raped and murdered, and his younger daughter's head twisted 180 degrees. His bedridden older daughter's next, unless he comes up with a cool twenty grand... and the girl will die anyway if she doesn't get a heart transplant in time!! What Nate needs now is the kind of man who'll confront college rapists with a line like "You don't bring a dick to a knife fight" before mutilating all of their genitals.

Writer Gregg Hurwitz is an admirer of Garth Ennis' work on The Punisher, which actually bodes well for genre critique (with Ennis, the critique is the genre), but for now he mainly approaches things as if all Ennis' book needs is even less restraint. Prepare for comparatively stiff dialogue, plus some clumsy location transitions and word-picture awkwardness typical of new-to-comics writers.

On the plus side, artist Lan Medina and colorist Andy Troy adopt an extra-rich visual style prone to pulp cover aplomb - that panel with the goons approaching Nate's family is going to trash comics heaven when it dies. Fans of crime funnies mayhem will probably find it all dimly OKAY, but it could go south real quick.

What If Graeme Managed To Read Some Comics From 10/24?

Maybe it was just me, but the old "What If...?" series always seemed better in theory than reality. I mean, sure, the idea of alternative worlds where major Marvel events have gone in the other direction seems like a great idea, but - as anyone who's bought those What If Classic reprints has no doubt realized by now - it quickly ended up as "What If That That Second Last Panel Of Daredevil #38 Had Happened Differently?" with every story either ending in essentially the same way as the original - as if to prove the existence of some kind of cosmic Marvel fate - or with everyone dying. You never quite got exactly what you wanted, with the exception of that Kirby issue where Stan Lee became Mr. Fantastic.

Luckily, only half of WHAT IF: PLANET HULK sucks.

Actually, that's not entirely true; of the two main stories in the book (There's a third story, a one-pager illustrated by Fred Hembeck of all people that's pretty throwaway, but a nice throwback to the comedy moments of the original nonetheless; Greg Pak writes all three stories), the first may be a disappointment in terms of outcome - It's essentially "What if World War Hulk happened with the Hulk's wife instead of the Hulk, and much faster?" - but it's not really sucky as much as rushed and unsatisfying considering its premise. The second story, however, offers an alternative both in terms of concept, but also execution; much quieter, more optimistic and more of a character piece, it is - despite a last page reveal that I'm not sure I understand properly (Have the Hulk and Banner merged? Or the Hulk become really skinny?) - more successful than the first tale, but much more importantly, a counterbalance to the first half of the book that manages to make the entire issue feel more worthwhile and entertaining; some would say Good. Sure, there's no Flo Steinberg becoming the Invisible Woman, but what can you do?

The focused totality of my psychic powers: Graeme finishes off 10/17.

If it's Tuesday*, it's the last minute round-up of other things that I've read this past week. Not everything that I've read, of course, because I don't think anyone wants to know the fruit of my "I must read lots of Claremont X-Men from when I was a kid" labors but, you know. Thank heaven for small mercies, and all that. Still - Hey kids! Comics!

COUNTDOWN #28: And now, almost halfway into the entire series, comes the first "I didn't see that coming" moment of the entire thing (A fact not helped by the fact that so much of the series to this date was revealed in advertisements, solicitations or interviews ahead of time). It wasn't even something I didn't see coming at all, just something that I didn't see coming for awhile; Monarch capturing the "challengers of the beyond" or whatever they're called (and Grant Morrison should complain about his name being stolen, bastardized, and used for such an uninspiring group of characters, really). For a second, I got optimistic about the rest of the series, thinking "Maybe now, things will start to happen and it'll start to be interesting," but then I thought about everything else that happened in the issue, and realized that this was probably just fluke. For now, in that case, this remains pretty much Eh.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #31: Ed Brubaker steps into Chris Claremont's favorite world of mind control - I'd forgotten how much he loved Malice from the Marauders, you know - and produces something much more disturbing than women turning evil and telling everyone around them how freeing it feels (For me, it was Sharon being the nurse; there's something about that that really unsettled me, for some reason). There's a lot to be said for the way that Brubaker's turned this book into an ensemble piece since the death of Steve Rogers, and the cliffhanger of this issue makes me wonder whether the "new" Captain America that we're being promised is going to be a new good guy protagonist, or a mind-controlled Bucky that the rest of the cast are going to have to deal with. Very Good, still.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #14: Is Dwayne McDuffie really apologizing for Ed Benes' art a couple of times, or am I reading into it? First, you get Lex Luthor's "It's unconscionable, isn't it?" following the double-page spread of Wonder Woman, Black Canary and Vixen tied up and displaying tits and ass, and then, following a panel where Black Lightning zaps two women, causing them to arch their backs and, again, display t'n'a to the audience, he says "It looks a lot worse than it actually is." If that's just a coincidence, it's a weird and amusing one. Outside of that, this was a slow third chapter to a story that hadn't really built up that much momentum to begin with, with a central idea that we've seen too many times before. It's still better than Brad Meltzer, but somehow I expected more than just Okay.

MARVEL ZOMBIES 2 #1: Dammit. I wanted to dislike this book on principle. It shouldn't work, after all; there's no real plot to think about, and everything runs on dark humor and a sense of comedic foreboding instead of any kind of plot logic, but somehow, it's still enjoyable even though the joke stopped being funny a long time ago... I don't understand why, but surprisingly Good.

X-MEN: EMPEROR VULCAN #2: Hey, it's the old "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" plot! Good to see the X-Men books reuse this old and somewhat tired trope, and arguably better to see that it still works, to an extent; this may be a firmly B-list spin-off book, but it's nonetheless solidly Good. Maybe Annihilation: Conquest and Green Lantern have put me in the mood to read more space opera, or maybe my Claremont-immersion is starting to skew the quality control of my mind...

But what did the rest of you think?

(* - I had originally written Monday. Even though I know it's Tuesday. Apparently a lack of sleep and posting first thing in the morning doesn't help me with my calendaring.)

arriving 10/24/07

I totally suck at getting reviews done -- in my own defense, I have to get the order form due this week (a week early) because I'm out of town in mid-week, doing the Disneyland trip with Ben. ( I mean, look how late I'm getting this up this week!) Speaking of which: looking at a map, it appears that the SoCal fires are nowhere near Disneyland, but who can really tell from a map? Are we flying into a fire zone, or are there going to be problems with smoke or haze?

Also also: Can anyone tell me anything about taxis from the park? Our flight is 7:50 Thursday, so I want to be at the airport at 7pm. The airport is said to be "15 minutes" away, so if we walk out the front door of Disneyland at, say, 6:30 is it going to be trivial to catch a cab to the airport? What's traffic like around there? Should I plan for more travel time? Anyone know?

This week's list:

2000 AD #1557 2000 AD #1558 30 DAYS OF NIGHT RED SNOW #3 ACTION COMICS #857 ALL NEW OFF HB MARVEL UNIV A TO Z UPDATE #4 ANNIHILATION CONQUEST WRAITH #4 (OF 4) AUTHORITY PRIME #1 (OF 6) BART SIMPSON COMICS #38 BEOWULF #4 BEOWULF IDW TP BETTY #169 BLACK PANTHER #31 BLUE BEETLE #20 CABLE DEADPOOL #46 CASANOVA #10 COUNTDOWN 27 COUNTDOWN SPECIAL THE FLASH 80-PAGE GIANT CRAWL SPACE XXXOMBIES #1 CRIMINAL MACABRE MY DEMON BABY #2 (OF 4) DAREDEVIL #101 DOKTOR SLEEPLESS WRAP CVR #3 FALL OF CTHULHU MAVILLAIN CVR A #7 FEAR AGENT LAST GOODBYE #4 FLASH #233 FOOLKILLER #1 (OF 5) GEN 13 #13 GENE SIMMONS DOMINATRIX #3 GHOST PIRATES VS GHOST NINJAS BRIDE O/T DEAD SEA GLISTER #2 GOTHAM UNDERGROUND #1 (OF 8) GREEN ARROW YEAR ONE #6 (OF 6) GREEN LANTERN CORPS #17 HACK SLASH SERIES CRANK CVR A #5 HELLBLAZER #237 INDIA AUTHENTIC VISHNU #6 INTO THE DUST #2 (OF 12) JELLYFIST JLA CLASSIFIED #45 JUGHEAD AND FRIENDS DIGEST #24 KILLER #5 (OF 10) KILLER #6 (OF 10) LEGION OF SUPER HEROES IN THE 31ST CENTURY #7 LONE RANGER #9 LOOKING FOR GROUP #1 LOVELESS #20 MADAME MIRAGE #3 MAGICIAN APPRENTICE #10 (OF 12) MARVEL ADVENTURES IRON MAN #6 MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #2 MARVEL ILLUSTRATED MAN IN THE IRON MASK #4 (OF 6) MARVEL SPOTLIGHT MARVEL ZOMBIES METAL GEAR SOLID SONS OF LIBERTY #12 MOON KNIGHT #13 CWI NEOZOIC #1 PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #116 POTTERS FIELD #2 (OF 3) PROOF #1 PVP #35 (NOTE PRICE) RAMAYAN 3392 AD RELOADED #2 KANG CVR ROBIN #167 SAVAGE TALES #4 SCOOBY DOO #125 SHE-HULK 2 #22 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #181 STAR WARS DARK TIMES #6 STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC #21 STREETS OF GLORY #2 (OF 6) SUPERMAN #669 SUPERMAN BATMAN #41 TALES OF THE SINESTRO CORPS SUPERMAN PRIME #1 TEEN TITANS #52 THUNDERBOLTS #117 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #115 UNCLE SAM AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS #2 (OF 8) VELOCITY PILOT SEASON #1 WALKING DEAD #43 WARHAMMER 40K BLOOD & THUNDER CVR A #1 (OF 4) WARHAMMER FORGE OF WAR CVR A #4 (OF 6) WETWORKS #14 WHAT IF PLANET HULK WITCHBLADE #110 WITCHBLADE SHADES OF GRAY #3 (OF 4) (RES) X-MEN #204 X-MEN DIE BY THE SWORD #2 (OF 5) X-MEN FIRST CLASS VOL 2 #5

Books / Mags / Stuff 3 MINUTE SKETCHBOOK TP ALTER EGO #73 AVENGERS ASSEMBLE VOL 5 HC BASIL WOLVERTON AGONY AND ECSTASY TP BLACK PANTHER FOUR HARD WAY TP BLACK SUMMER ALPHA (PP #785) CHRONICLES OF CONAN VOL 13 WHISPERING SHADOWS TP CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG #20 BLACK CAT CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG #50 HAWKEYE CONAN AND THE MIDNIGHT GOD TP JACK OF FABLES VOL 2 JACK OF HEARTS TP JUSTICE LEAGUE ELITE VOL 2 TP JUXTAPOZ NOV 2007 VOL 14 #11 MARVEL ZOMBIES COVERS HC PICTURES OF YOU GN PREVIEWS VOL XVII #11 (NET) RED MENACE TP SERENITY HC THOSE LEFT BEHIND SFX #162 SHE-HULK VOL 5 PLANET WITHOUT A HULK TP SPIRIT VOL 1 HC TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #159 WAY OF THE RAT VOL 3 HAUNTED ZHUMAR TP WINSOR MCCAY VOL 9 EARLY WORKS TP X-FACTOR VOL 3 MANY LIVES OF MADROX TP

ASSHAT OF THE WEEK: it's not the latest book on the list, no, but Achaia earns my wrath this week for shipping TWO issues of THE KILLER this week. I really like the book, too, but there's no surer way to convince people not to buy it than ship both in a week. Not even Kirkman is THAT annoying, damn it.

If you didn't already see the link somewhere else, my latest TILTING AT WINDMILLS is up right here. This one seems to have started some fights!

As always: What looks good to YOU?

-B

When is Self-Promotion Not Self-Promotion? Jeff and the Second Season of Sam & Max.

I am appallingly bad at self-promotion--saying something that sounds even remotely boastful makes me feel like an utter a-hole. 

Accordingly, I suppose I should feel grateful for the circumstances surrounding the first episode of Sam & Max's second season, Ice Station Santa, premiering on Gametap just a few weeks from now: I worked on the dialogues for the first episode (along with the talented and terrifyingly young Ian Dallas) but can't honestly tell you how much of my material made it in. Telltale has released three gameplay videos, excerpts of scenes for which I did the early drafts, and the percentage of the material I recognize as mine runs anywhere from 30% to 80%. For a panoply of reasons, this second gig was a lot harder than my first, and I was pretty sure when my contract was finished that stuff would end up rewritten. (Hey, that's the freelancer life for ya...)

 

So even if I was capable of exhorting people who enjoy my writing to check out Ice Station Santa, I'm not sure it would be entirely cricket for me to do so. However, there are a variety of non-me reasons to be excited about Season 2 of Sam & Max if you're a fan of the characters.

 

First, while working on the first episode of Season Two I had the opportunity to see some of the projected plans for the other episodes, and I think Telltale has done a great job of coming up with stories and locations for this season that nail that crazy Steve Purcellian sweet spot Sam & Max fans crave.

 

Second, Telltale brought Chuck Jordan on full-time and I believe he's doing the bulk of the dialogues for the second season. The man's work on Season One's Abraham Lincoln Must Die! really knocked me on my ass, and I'm totally in awe of him. As a fan, I couldn't have hoped for better news.

 

Third, Gametap is currently offering the above-mentioned episode on their free player. I think I read somewhere that Telltale may be following suit, but for now this is a great way for you to see what I'm talking about without having to pay out any cash.

Fourth, Gametap may or may not be still having an anniversary sale, making it super-cheap to sign up for the service for a year and play not just Sam & Max episodes as they're released, but a slew of other great games. Sadly, the site is so damn slow on my work browser I can't tell you for sure if the sale's still going, but I can say that any service that allows me to play the Atari 2600 version of Adventure, Sonic The Hedgehog, Super Puzzle Fighter, Sega's Typing of the Dead, and the Sam & Max games on any computer in my home is worth it even at the non-sale price. But go poke around their site if you get a chance and see if it's still going on.

And, finally, I did write some funny lines for Ice Station Santa--funny enough that even a low-self-esteemer like me feels confident they made it in--and the episode has a great, high-concept premise which it looks like the Telltale crew did a great job of developing visually. Regardless of my role in it, I hope fans of the characters check out this series if they haven't already.

Picture Book: Graeme considers timeliness, avenging from 10/17

Is it completely shitty and cheap to make some kind of "MIGHTY AVENGERS #5? I didn't know they still published that book!" joke? I mean, okay, it's been three months since the release of the last issue - which was itself a month late - but does that excuse making such a lazy joke about a late book?

Of course, things would be different if there was anything about the book that excused such a delay, such as it being, you know, good. I think that's the oddest thing about the delays in publishing for this particular title, because you can't really see where the hold-up is. Frank Cho's art is nice enough - his dismissive Hank Pym is particularly enjoyable - but it's not the excessively detailed kind of work that you look at and think, "Well, I can see how much time that must've taken." A lot of the panels lack backgrounds - or, at least, backgrounds from linework; colorist Jason Keith should be congratulated for his contribution to the book - and the panel design is simple enough (and, in some cases, faulty enough; the page where the Sentry crashes through multiple walls, it's odd that he doesn't also move left to right on the page as he does so, surely?) that there's the impression that Cho is an artist who worries about his figurework so much that it slows him to a crawl... An impression backed up, in part, by the lack of kineticism of the artwork; it's pretty, but all so damn static.

The lack of energy is felt even moreso because of the lightness of Brian Bendis's script, which obviously was intended as an all-out action blockbuster, with scenes of punching and missile hi-jacking and people shouting. The problem with that is that, when the art fails to convey that energy, there's not enough in the writing to save the book from being dull. Ironically for a Bendis book, a wordier script might've helped things.

The worst thing is, if this book had managed to keep to a monthly schedule, the Eh quality of the issue might not really feel like such a big deal. Sure, it'd be a letdown, but you'd only have another month until everything moved on, and how much can you expect with only four weeks to create a book and so on... We've still got an issue to go before we see how this Ultron storyline finishes, even though New Avengers is already crossing over with the follow-up storyline, and Illuminati is being withheld because MA #6 has to precede it. It's the Civil War delays again, on a smaller scale; when you have Bendis saying on a podcast that "so much" is being held up because this book is so off-schedule, and the book itself is suffering so much because of the delays, and the reason behind the delays, you have to wonder whether the idea that keeping a consistent team for the trade is the thing is really worth screwing up other schedules for.

Tigra would be jealous: Graeme gets brave, and bold, from 10/17.

As the most open fan of all-female wrestling in the world of comic professionals, somehow you just know that George Perez didn't need to have his arm twisted in order to draw THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #7, which has a high concept straight from Chris Claremont in his prime: Power Girl is possessed and Wonder Woman has to fight her! Thankfully for the readers, Perez manages to stay away from outright exploitation in his artwork, and Mark Waid takes that high concept and uses it to build an exciting, non-pandering, oneshot.

Just as in the previous issues of this series, Waid's writing is pretty much a masterclass in superhero writing. Ignoring the pitch-perfect four-page opening to this issue, which manages to set up the odd-couple character conflict as well as the central mystery for the story without coming across as expositionary-heavy, despite two of those four pages being full-page splashes (and one of them being silent, with the exception of the titles and credits) - a pretty good trick in and of itself - it's impressive to see the way in which Waid uses the action to further character, and vice versa, with the villain conflict acting as a McGuffin for a character study while still being both involving and entertaining in its own right. In addition, both his pace and pitch are perfect; we're thrown in at the start of a battle that doesn't get explained, and the climax of the main story is followed up by Waid winking to the audience through Superman, who more or less admits that these bad guys always come and back and no-one should really think too much about these kind of things anyway.

(He also throws in an unexpected epilogue, bridging to the next issue and tying back to the previous one, suggesting that there might be a grander scheme to these stories than initially suggested. I wonder if that's just a trick to make people keep picking up the book, or whether there's more going on than the readers know about...)

As for Perez, he rises to the occasion - and now I see the possible innuendo in there, which wasn't intended - with work that's restrained in its portrayal of its heroines (Although I wonder how much of that credit can go to the coloring of Tom Smith, who also does a great job) and dynamic in every other respect. Okay, Power Girl's boots have heels, but still. It doesn't stop this being a straight-forwardly enjoyable Very Good book that you hope wannabe superhero creators are reading and learning from.

The Sword is Drawn. And Written: Graeme isn't impressed by this 10/17 book.

After finishing THE SWORD #1, there was something about it that I couldn't quite put my finger on it. At first, I thought that it was something to do with the general feeling of unease I get from the Luna brothers for reasons, I admit, that I can't really explain (It's got something to do with the "girls are weird other" vibe that I got from Girls, I think, but I couldn't tell you what, exactly); it definitely wasn't that the book had particularly impressed me or disappointed me more than I'd expected, because there was nothing about this that was anything more than Eh. But, still, there was something that made the book stick in my head.

And then, out of nowhere, while I was making my disappointing Trader Joe's feta-cheese-and-onion-somekindofpastries snack for lunch, it came to me.

The Sword is a NBC drama.

I'm not sure why I'm so convinced that it'd be an NBC show in particular - It shares the same sense of familiarity and lack of ambition that something like The Bionic Woman does (or even Heroes, for that matter, as much as I enjoy it), true, but there's something more to it that that. You can almost imagine the deep voiceover in the trailer: "What would you do... If you lost everything... But had the chance for revenge? The Sword, Mondays at 8pm on NBC this fall." But there is something uniquely television-budget about that way that it quickly (and somewhat carelessly) sets up a family/domestic dynamic that lacks warmth or individuality but projects enough familiarity for you to buy into it, before introducing a vague and mysterious threat who not only shake up, but destroy, the status quo and give both cheap emotional motivation to the protagonist and an out to lazy writers who didn't want to deal with the ties that would come with having the protagonist's family sticking around.

It's all done well enough, and fast enough, to keep your attention, but there's no heart there, nothing to really care about or engage your brain. It's something that you'd watch - or read - if there's nothing else to do and it's available, but as something for people to pay $2.99 for? I can't see the attraction.

The Weird Superheroes of 10/17: Jog put the date on the other side of the colon this time (and more hi-jinx to follow)

Last night I had a dream that I was reading Dirk Deppey's blog, and he had a really great turn of phrase involving cats. I can't remember what it was. Shit, I can always use a good cats phrase...

The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite #2 (of 6): The best and most telling part of this issue is when "00.05," the time-traveling fifth member of the titular superhero family who's gone way into the future and grown old trying to figure out a way back, suddenly hears the answer to the time-travel formula from a statue he's had a crush on (no real women left alive, you see), only to dump her and zap back to his youth. It's a funny sequence, but not really because writer Gerard Way plays the dialogue as particularly absurd. It's artist Gabriel Bá that's trusted to make the old man's face beam with comedic glee, and to leave the discarded statue in just the right pose.

I'm not saying Way doesn't stumble a bit -- I could have done without the newspaper headline screaming "IT'S A PERFECT DAY" amidst the ruins of civilization (although hell, maybe that was Bá too) -- but there's a sort of trust at work here between words and visuals that isn't always seen in superhero comics. It keeps the book smooth and pleasing, even as it rumbles over some familiar territory, sedately observing the stolid team leader and the rebel hothead getting into a fight, and scanning the usual frayed superhero-team-as-family bonds.

Nice particulars, though. I like that the team (gathered to pay 'respects' to their dead father/mentor) is so comprehensively lacking in control over their lives that even their reforming is dictated to them by outside forces. The notion of a song so perfectly calibrated that it destroys the world is a decent one, decent enough to overcome the old 'rejected teammate tempted by evil' scenario. Nate Piekos' lettering is really swell.

I trust things will get odder, but if all straightforward superhero comics were GOOD in this way, I'd read them too.

The Programme #4 (of 12): Now, here's a series that keeps threatening to get really good. The premise -- contemporary shades-of-gray world conflicts are brushed aside when forgotten US and USSR superhumans wake up for an old-timey clash between superpowers -- is very sturdy. Writer Peter Milligan has some good bits in this issue involving an American superhuman who thinks he's Senator Joseph McCarthy, mumbling about Communists before blasting a supporting character's arm off with his laser beam eyes. That's good readin'!

However, most of this issue is actually about some uninteresting fellow in the gulag who's scared of being raped, and reminisces about how Stalin's Russia was full of nondescript danger and intrigue. Then he's freed instead of raped, which is fortunate for him. I do still like the names of the Soviet superheroes (REVOLUTION! STALINGRAD!), but that's all this chapter has going for it in terms of script.

C.P. Smith's art continues to frustrate, in that it's sometimes striking, like in the panel with the exploding arm (colorist Jonny Rench helps a lot), but sometimes awkward - I can tell what's happening in panels 4 and 5 on page 2, but I don't believe it. Further, his shadowed characters have a way of looking alike when given similar hairstyles and accessories, which makes the parts of this issue involving two men with glasses and short haircuts rough navigating, even though one of them is shot before they start looking alike.

Still, that last page? Sen. Joe "Optic Blast" McCarthy (R-WI) preparing to deliver an important message about America to a recalcitrant fellow superhero... possibly with his fists? I keep thinking the EH will stop, and I want to be proven right.

Abhay Thinks Reviewing Comic Books is Really Just a Bad Idea, Period

This is a negative review of Cry Yourself to Sleep, a comic book created by Jeremy Tinder, published by Top Shelf Productions in Augt 6, and received with near unanimous critical acclaim by a comic audience that apparently doesn’t want to “make people feel bad.” Newsarama: “A tiny gem.” Some blog: “required reading for all 20-something girls who are interested in finding out what really lurks in the hearts of their male counterparts.” Some other blog: "easily confuseable for [autobiography].” Everybody has a blog: “Tinder has successfully delivered a graphic novel that makes some readers look back at their youth and some readers to observe what they may face as young adults.” Bloggity-schmog: “Not only does he present readers with a humorous tale, he also deals with very real issues in his narrative.” Schmogoly-bloggity-shmoh: “ultimately it’s a story of promise and comfort.”

Here is the absolute, bar-none, most brutally negative review I could find, courtesy of none other than Savage Critic Mr. Jog Blog: “There’s not all that much to say about it, save that it’s gently humorous, in possession of some attractive visual flourish, not entirely well strung-together, and suggesting of good things in the author’s near-future.”

...

So, now I have to be the bad guy? Really?

Why does that—where did I sign up for that? I want to be the good guy. I want to be loved. I don’t want to be the bad guy. I have at least once or twice took some pleasure in writing a bad review-- so stipulated. But goddammit, I'm a human being, and sometimes I feel guilty or sometimes I feel bad or sometimes I worry about my karma or sometimes I want to buy a Laz-E-Boy that I nickname "The Sex-E-Boy” or sometimes I think babies are plotting against me.

I don’t want to “make people feel bad.”

But here’s my argument: Jeremy Tinder should feel bad because he made a bad comic book.

He should feel good if he made a good comic, and bad if he made a bad one. If you have a pet dog, and the dog shits on your carpet, you don’t give it steak sandwich. Why? Because you don’t want dogshit all over your carpets. Ipso facto. Quo vadis.

A tiny gem, Newsarama? That gem is pyrite! Oh, your head gets all confused and you think maybe the comic is autobiographical? The comic book is about a talking bunny rabbit! Lies! Lies, all lies! Artists are not legally or biologically speaking children; what that means: you can quit coddling them. If you’ll allow me to paraphrase MAJOR PAYNE: THE MOTION PICTURE, you have to slap your titty out of the boy’s mouth.

There’s no shame to making a bad comic book. Jeremy Tinder shouldn’t feel ashamed. Most people make bad comic books. Even great comic creators make bad comic books, sometimes. As bad comics go, I’ve certainly read worse.

But dude… come on, dude:

The dedication page is a picture of a bunny rabbit in an apron and the page says "For My Mom and Dad."

The page is presented unironically.

The story, with a SPOILER WARNING: three roommates (a loser, a shitty robot, and that goddamned bunny rabbit) cry themselves to sleep because of how unfulfilling life is (deep!). They embark on boring little side adventures. Then, the loser regains his confidence, and at that precise moment, a young girl approaches him, presumably in order to be his girlfriend; the rabbit suffers "spinal damage" but is HAPPY about it because he gets worker’s comp; the robot becomes happy for some boring reason not even worth explaining. The end!

If you’re mistaking this comic book for autobiography, you need to start talking to actual human beings.

Live! Experience! Take drugs! You! Me! Dancing!

This comic book is not about anything resembling real people. The term you’re groping for is “hipster wish-fulfillment fantasies”.

Are you a “20-something girl” who’s interested in finding out what “really lurks” in the heart of your boyfriend? If so, allow me to explain and save you having to read this comic book: your boyfriend is bored of looking at the back of your head when you have sex, and prays every night that you were someone, anyone else, not because you’re not pretty but just to relieve the overwhelming, all-consuming boredom. You’re welcome.

As for this “it’ll tell you what it’s like if you’re 20” nonsense—that’s just offensive to me. I’m offended by that. This is a comic that invites the reader to imagine that in their early 20’s, they were like an innocent little bunny rabbit that the world didn’t understand. Because, boo hoo, you were different. Oh! Oh, boo hoo for you! Boo hoo for how sensitive and precious you were in your early 20’s. When will people see your inner bunny rabbit?

Fucking horseshit!!

Cut the crap: is that what your early 20’s were like or what you want to think they were like? I don’t think this comic is about depicting anyone’s early adulthood. It’s an invitation for the reader to flatter themselves. The only talent that shows is a talent for lying to the audience. That’s not to be encouraged.

Techniquewise, we could find some praise for the art, maybe. There’s certainly the promise of future growth—I’d never deny that. He draws a pleasing bunny rabbit.

But he also tries to obscure weak drawings and weak compositions behind an oppressive and haphazardly applied grey tone; he’s weak on backgrounds; and storytelling… he has one big move, which is to drop out the backgrounds on a “dramatic” moment. Unfortunately, because he does it on the most overwrought, overly sentimental scenes possible, the effect is more ridiculous and hilarious than dramatic. Also, because he overuses it since it’s his one big move—sometimes he winds up using it for moments that are boring instead of dramatic.

There’s one okay moment in this comic book, involving a little kid using a fake moustache in order to pretend to be a grown-up and score some porn. It’s cute; sort of a weakly funny gag. Is it enough to warrant a 100% Rotten Tomato rating? No. It’s not. It’s a nice moment in a comic otherwise of minimal merit.

Hey, I like some things that other people are sure to hate. I’m completely fucking obsessed with Stevie Might be a Bear, Maybe. I think that’s one of the greatest things, like, ever, even if I realize that it overuses the word “retard” for its humor. You don’t have to go along with me on that one. Or I liked 1-800 Mice #2, which is a bunch of surreal crazy shit with a much less commercial art style and some comedy bits that are more weird than funny. Civil War? Thought it worked out great.

So I can’t blame people for liking this book despite its flaws, or the fact this book struck a chord with all those other people despite its flaws. Or I’m not suggesting to you that I’m “right” and they’re “wrong.” Maybe this book is really great and I’m dead on the inside. There's plenty of evidence for that. Oh my god!

And I get that, you know— Jeremy Tinder’s a young cartoonist who deserve our gentle encouragement. Hey, Mr. Tinder—I didn’t like your comic at all, but I gently encourage you in your struggle to improve. But to me, that’s just the point. What I suggest to you is the following:

Jeremy Tinder and Top Shelf released a book just this month called Black Ghost Apple Factory. Daily Crosshatch says: “an underground cartoonist who is at the top of his game.” Playback:stl says “frequently laugh-out-loud funny.” The Comics Collective: “a recommended pick-up for its whimsical art and its personal, emo-touched tales.” Indie-pulp: “These stories are full of whimsy and cuteness (like the apple-production method in the title story), but those aspects mask some really poignant observances about life and personal relationships.”

And so on and so on and so on.

What I suggest to you is: I have absolutely no reason to believe any of that is true. And that should be discouraging for Mr. Tinder, for you, for me, for those reviewers, for everybody.

Time for the Fifth World, I guess: Graeme on the Death of The New Gods, 10/17.

To add particular insult to my injury of admitting that Rick Veitch’s Army@Love isn’t necessarily for me, I should also put my hand up right now and admit that I don’t really get Jim Starlin, either. I’m too young and too sober for his 1970s cosmic stuff like Warlock or Captain Marvel, and his DC work in the ‘80s left me somewhat cold. By the time he was back on the Thanos horse on Marvel in the early 90s, being Infinite before Dan Didio even had the idea of redoing the 1980s forever. I’m also a pretty big fan of Jack Kirby’s Fourth World books – the “remastered” Hunger Dogs announced for the fourth hardcover collection pretty much guarantees that I’ll end up buying the whole set, those bastards – so it’s fair to say that the idea of Jim Starlin writing and drawing a miniseries where the entire point is to kill the characters from those books was something that didn’t fill me with much anticipation.

(Partially, it’s because of the lack of need to kill them off. Yes, they’ve become somewhat devalued characters through misuse over the years, but the answer to that is to let them lie fallow for a few years, and then give them to the right creative team; can’t you imagine a Grant Morrison and Ladronn mini-series about them, for example? Who wouldn’t want to read that? As much as I don’t want to make massive DC-wide generalizations, there really seems to be a “We don’t know what to do with them, so we’ll kill them, that always gets readers talking” thing going on there over the last few years…)

Despite all of the above, though, THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #1 isn’t that bad. The art lacks the power or bold design elements of Kirby (which isn’t to say that only Kirby can bring that to the characters – Mignola and Simonson have both managed to revise that aesthetic while staying true to their own styles in the past), sure, but the writing manages to be an enjoyably grandiose take on the concept. It helps that Starlin’s at least doing more than just following through on the title of the book – although two big name (well, for the Fourth World) characters die in this opening issue – adding the involvement of the Forever People to the mystery of just who is killing everyone off.

You can tell that it’s a Countdown tie-in even before Jimmy Olsen pops up to investigate the deaths (which seems fitting, considering it was his book that stealth-launched the Fourth World way back when); there’s a strange, unspoken, underlying feeling that a lot of the backstory here is just meant to be understood already by the readers, with characters and concepts not really introduced as much as just pushed on stage and left to get on with it. But that said, it’s surprisingly enjoyable, if enjoyably unsurprising, and one of the few Good things to have come out of Countdown to date.

Graeme runs with the dogs tonight in Suburbia(n Glamour): 10/17 begins.

When I was back at home while on vacation, I had the misfortune of hearing the new Manic Street Preachers single, "Wintersong," which is a pretty embarrassing proposition - Three middle-age men writing and playing a song where the entire point is "You're young and beautiful, youth of the world, stay crazy," in this slow, faux-epic manner that the Manics use. Hearing it was a strange experience; it sounds like a parody of the Manics, and came across (at least, to me; I'm sure this'll get commentary from hardcore Manics fans who're very, very upset that I don't get their true majesty or whatever; sorry) as this desperate attempt to reach out to an audience that they know nothing about anymore. When middle-age spread has reached you, please don't try and tell The Kids how awesome they are anymore, you know?

All of which is a preamble to telling you that Jamie McKelvie's SUBURBAN GLAMOUR #1 is a great comic. I have no real idea about his age or his feelings about the new Manics single, but one of the reasons that this book worked so well for me is that it comes across as totally genuine and forced in the details of the teenaged main characters - the need and attempt to be both themselves and unusual in a town where nothing happens, and how that manifests in their parties, their conversations, their lives. With so much of the first issue taking place without the fantastical elements that will no doubt comprise the bulk of the series overall, you're given enough time to get to know the characters in relation to each other, as opposed to in relation to magic and fairies and things that you could never relate to; a good point of comparison would be Mike Carey and John Bolton's God Save The Queen graphic novel, which attempted a similar story with much less successful results, because it seemed so less true and honest than this does.

It helps that McKelvie's script is as funny as it is, making even the somewhat predictable (at this point, at least, but that maybe because the pre-release interviews, etc., gave this much away) plot enjoyable to read nonetheless. His art, too, has moved on from when it appeared in Phonogram to become looser, more cartoonily emotional (in a good way); it's also helped significantly by Guy Major's colors, which play an important part in bringing it to life.

This comic isn't for everyone; it may even just be for people who grew up in small towns with a sense of "There's got to be more than this." But as one of those people, and as someone who picked up this week's books looking for something unexpected and upbeat, I have to tell you that I thought this was really Very Good.

One Shot In: Jog on a comic from 10/10 now that 10/17 is tomorrow

I got stuck in traffic today while I was driving home from work. Since I was going nowhere I started looking around me, and I noticed movement from car ahead of me. The man behind the wheel was rocking out to some song. Head bobbing, arms flailing, fists pounding on the wheel... the works. It was great! I was transfixed! But suddenly, he started glancing into his mirror, and I think he noticed me looking at him. And he stopped moving. I think he felt self-conscious about the rock.

So, if you're somehow reading this, guy in the vehicle in front of me at 5:20 PM... I'm sorry. I didn't want you to stop rocking.

Never stop rocking.

The Punisher MAX #51: I loved the bit with the doctor this issue (the second part of the current storyline). And not just because artist Goran Parlov gives him a kind of Kevin Nowlan scowl, but because the whole sequence, one of those 'character is so legendary, the legend alone saves him from trouble' bits, is the sort of thing you can only get away with if you've really built that legend.

Garth Ennis gets away easy; his writing on the series is supremely confident at this point, smacking a desperate fight sequence around between action and aftermath so the reader feels the title character's frustration, and deftly stretching his themes in quiet ways - do note how Frank's observation of O'Brien's sister ("The face I knew, without the mileage.") evokes the fantasy sequence from last issue. Frank's out to save a special person, but Ennis hints that he's really trying to preserve an imagined alternate life, where things were better.

It's one of the 'big picture' storylines that sometimes crop up in this series, playing heavily off of past 'small picture' stories, with various returning characters. Not a good place to jump on, but I like how they reinforce Ennis' downbeat tone, with good people saved, only to later die, and bad folk trying again until they're dead too; I'd have never guessed de facto archvillain Barracuda could be so versatile without actually changing. Everyone is going to hell in this world, but some will get there quicker than others.

A VERY GOOD issue, juggling the usual near-exploitation cruelty (injury to infants!) and comedy (love that cop's lazy eye!), while benefiting richly from the presence of the inspired Parlov. That panel of the bleeding kid sitting around dazed while a horrible beating goes down behind her says plenty on its own.

Clap your hands: Graeme finishes up 10/10.

It's the end of the longest comic week in history! Or, perhaps, just me trying to readjust to non-vacation life and failing. U, as they say, Decide. Anyway, shall we get the rest of this week's books out the way quickly?

BOOSTER GOLD #3: I'm back to the Dan Jurgens distaste again, although in fairness, I think it may be laziness on inker Norm Rapmund's part that's making me feel as if a better artist would've brought something more to this admittedly throwaway, Okay issue. It's a fine enough story, although for the second issue in a row, trading a little too much on the fanboy factor instead of trying to be entertaining/funny in its own right. But then again, I'm a pretty big DC fanboy and it didn't really work for me, either... The story seemed imbalanced, with the Jonah Hex element taking too long in arriving and not really amounting to anything once it had arrived. A third issue that already feels like filler? That's not the greatest sign... Here's hoping that next issue's All-Flash will be More Fun Comics.

COUNTDOWN #29: Bri handed me this issue, pointing out that it'd be a test - Having missed the last couple of issues, does this book move so slowly that I could pick up this issue and feel as if I hadn't missed anything? Sadly, the answer was pretty much yes. Sure, the characters were in different locations, but none of their stories had really moved on that far at all. We're only three issues away from the relaunch of the series - including the new title, letting us know just what we're counting down to - and it still feels as if this series hasn't really gotten going yet. Eh, and sadly making me less interested in Final Crisis as it goes on.

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #24: "Attention True Believer! If you should read but one comic this decade, THIS ONE'S IT!" screams just one of the blurbs on the cover but, as Hibbs pointed out, it's the second part of a four-part story. If this really were the only comic you read this decade, you'd really feel that you'd chosen badly. Reminiscent more than anything of that issue in Peter David's Hulk run more than a decade ago where Rick Jones is told by Doctor Strange that he couldn't bring Marlo back to life - Am I dating myself by admitting that? - the only interest that this comic really offers is the growing strangeness of Joe Quesada's artwork, which offers moments of worthiness amongst the overly-rendered, badly-staged awkwardness. Kind of sad that this is the last issue of the series and that that's mentioned nowhere in the issue at all, as well. Eh and then some.

GREEN LANTERN #24: As we near the end of the big summer event - fittingly, considering we've passed the end of the summer, and all - things begin to disappoint, as they always do. Parallax is defeated by the power of love and an old painting, and the big cosmic threats all arrive on Earth in rushed scenes that kind of reduce their threat, and Kyle Rayner gets new Green Lantern pants courtesy of Guy Gardner. It's not that surprising that the beginning of the end doesn't live up to the opening, but nonetheless, Good when it could've been better.

NOVA #7: A surprisingly similar resolution to Kyle Rayner's Parallax adventure seems oddly fitting for this Green Lantern rip-off, but it makes for an unsatisfying conclusion to this title's Annihilation: Conquest tie-in... That said, it does make me want to follow the main Annihilation title when it comes out, so I'm sure it succeeded in its purpose. That said, I'm still surprised how much I'm enjoying this title, even if it hasn't managed to have a non-crossover storyline yet. Good and I'm kind of wanting to check out the original Annihilation series now just to see if it sates my Cosmic Marvel jones.

PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #12: Ignoring the strange recasting of the Punisher as an outright superhero ("That's okay. I'll find him. I'm here to help" as he goes to find a missing cat? Really?), the main thing I took away from this issue was how the growing digital production of comics these days can just take away the joy of the cheaply-produced unpretentious shitty fun of the old ones. Matt Fraction's script, rough and ready and coming with Jaws references, seems at odds with Ariel Olivetti's artwork and (weirdly, especially) the lettering for the alien's narration. Gimme something scrappier and messy, for the love of God. And stop making the Punisher into a superhero, while you're at it. Okay.

TANK GIRL: THE GIFTING #4: Whoever Rufus Dayglo is, he clearly has eaten Jamie Hewlett's work in the past to put out such a close facsimile as the work here - That said, I wish there was more of Ash Wood's rougher, more individual look in his finishes, especially on the illustrations for the poetry pieces. It's funny to see those pieces, as well; reminiscent of the way that Alan Martin's original Tank Girl writing for Deadline shifted away from the frenetic comic strips the longer he went on. Overall, this series hasn't really worked - the pop writing being at odds with the presentation and price point, stripped of the articles about random indie bands and printed on cardstock - but it's been an interesting failure. I'd love to see Martin do something brand new with IDW, and leave this Okay work in the past.

X-MEN: DIE BY THE SWORD #1: In which no X-Men appear (well, former X-Men, sure; three of them from the same era of the team, which just so happened to be the point where I dropped the book, way back when), and nobody dies by any sword. Whatever happened to truth in advertising, I ask you? Hampered by a dull artist and rusty dialogue, Chris Claremont's story has some interesting ideas leading up to his Exiles relaunch; it's a shame that most of them are stolen from Alan Moore's Captain Britain run from twenty years ago. Okay, guiltily, nonetheless, however.

Yeah, I know. When a Chris Claremont book gets an Okay, it either means that I've lost my mind, or have recently read an Essential X-Men and have warm, fuzzy, nostalgic feelings for the franchise I loved so much as a child. My bet's on the former. But what did you think of the week that was, dear readers?