"Black Bolt is laughing at you in his mind": Graeme gets illuminated, 8/1.

The opening of NEW AVENGERS: ILLUMINATI #4 is out-of-character, cheap schtick that plays to fanboys even as it parodies their favorite characters with mundane dialogue full of fantastic concepts, as each member of the Illuminati talk about their shitty love lives ("You can leave your body and go to the astral plane... Why are you online?" "I can't get hockey scores in the astral plane"). It's also completely awesome, and easily the best part of what is otherwise a dull, plotless pile of Eh.

Illuminati is turning into a weird series. There's something purposefully disjointed about it, with all of the jumping back and forth in timeframes, but outside of that, there's still no sense of anything within the series having any real weight or continuity; each issue seems to have nothing to do with the ones on either side of it, and as a result, the whole thing kind of feels like a super-hero sit-com without the com - each episode is interchangable and easy to rerun in whatever order you want.

It doesn't help that the body of each issue tends towards the unnecessary continuity implant - Who really wanted to see heroes attack the Skrulls after the Kree-Skrull War, or a pre-Secret Wars II appearance by the Beyonder? Or this issue, with Grant Morrison's Marvel Boy getting beaten up in the name of turning him into a good guy? Yes, Bendis may be stealthily introducing the next Marvel Event and everything that comes into it (Anyone else expect Marvel Boy to become a new Captain Marvel when Mar-Vell goes home, after the end of this issue?), but that's not enough to make each individual issue exciting or even worthwhile in and of itself.

That said, go and read the first four pages of the comic and wish that the rest of it had been like that.

Gutwrenching meh-taaaaaaahhhhl (1): Graeme starts off 8/1 with some metal, man.

Already destined (well, probably) to be a low-seller thanks to its subject matter and lack of big name creative talent, it's nonetheless true that Duncan Rouleau's METAL MEN #1 is possibly the most enjoyable thing that DC has put out this week.

Part of the thrill of the book is that it's clearly part of someone's own creative vision; I mean, yes, not only is it not tied (it seems, at this point, at least) to Countdown or Amazons Attack! or the Sinestro Corps War or any other storyline coming out of any other book - Even the "From the pages of 52" on the cover is somewhat misleading, as this doesn't pick up any storylines from that series other than showing that Doc Magnus and TO Morrow knew each other way back when - but there's something about both the writing and art that is wonderfully out of step with contemporary mainstream trends. Rouleau's art, which has always trended towards the busy and cartoony (I almost want to say "manga-influenced," but I'm probably wrong in that) has now morphed into something not unlike Chris Bachalo's current look but with clearer layout and panel design; his trend towards characture not only making sense here, but also making his designs for the title characters more attractive than they've looked in years.

What was most surprising, though, was the writing. I haven't read Rouleau's first attempt at writing (Active Images did a graphic novel of his last year that I think was called "The Nightmarist," but I can't be sure), so I wasn't prepared for how quickly and effortlessly this issue sped past: Bouncing between chapters with puns for titles ("To Serve With Love"?), setting things up for the future while laying down the past, all with dialogue that gives insight shortcuts into the characters and the context... It read Morrison-esque even before his "Based on ideas by" credit at the back of the book, and I mean that in the best way.

It's an attractive and amusing book, respectful without being a slavish recreation of the original incarnation, and definitely Very Good. Which probably means that the backlash will start in about three seconds...

My Life is Choked with Comics #3 - Marshal Law: Fear and Loathing

Hello everyone, I'm really excited to be standing here in your computer screen today.

You see, yesterday was my birthday and a lot of exciting things happened. My mother phoned to remind me that I have the same birthday as Harry Potter, as she's done each year since the Harry Potter series began. I got scratch-off lottery tickets in a birthday card and I won fifty dollars, all of which were immediately earmarked for future spending. I spoke to people, and drank liquids, and reflected on the inevitable fading of youthful vigor from my body, one more step taken toward that crucial perched-on-the-dive moment where the implications of life's end must be confronted as intimate certainty.

Ingmar Bergman recently died, you know. He once called Andrei Tarkovsky the most important film director of our time. Tarkovsky once wrote that "The aim of art is to prepare a person for death, to plough and harrow his soul, rendering it capable of turning to good." I thought of this while writing a preview synopsis for World War Hulk #3 for my site, and then I smiled as I thought of knee-slapping lawyer humor to include. Alternative dispute resolution jokes? This’ll slay ‘em! Hulk, you are the reaper's kiss.

So, being older, I think it's only proper that this column take a more sophisticated approach for this week. A topic that will reflect the wisdom that I've attained over my long journey toward this post-birthday internet posting moment. A theme that absolutely screams maturity, always and forever:

Hating superheroes! From within!

Yes, the world of superhero comics has been known to produce the occasional work that takes a dim view of the rest of the genre. Why, I've heard that some such series may be seeing release at this very time! A fine tradition, replete with cutting-edge notions and razor wit. Have you heard that people dressing up in outlandish tights and running around across rooftops at night might perhaps harbor some... deviant sexual tastes? Or that some characters that claim to stand for fine ideals... actually might not? Or, you know, that Batman has sex with Robin... on top of the blueprints for Stephanie Brown's Batcave memorial that shall never be built?!?! Maybe that last one hasn't quite manifested in that form yet, but give my pitch time.

Still, there's no denying that some readers are inclined to detect superhero-hating vibrations coming off of a wider range of comics than is entirely reasonable. Like a high school student cringing at every passing laugh in the classroom, certain that chuckles are at their expense, these readers bubble with a mix of insecurity and self-absorption, certain that their taste in genre material is widely loathed, yet convinced that it is somehow always the topic of attention. What needs to be done, I think, is a quick overview of what a real, true-blue, at-heart superhero-hating superhero funnybook quacks like.

Hence, Marshal Law, brainchild of writer Pat Mills and artist Kevin O'Neill.

I love Marshal Law. Or, at least I love the first Marshal Law storyline, originally published by Marvel's Epic Comics in six issues, from 1987-89, and collected by Titan Books into a trade paperback subtitled Fear and Loathing in 2002. It's also been announced that Top Shelf plans to compile as much Marshal Law material as it can into a single full-color omnibus volume, for sale in about a year. It'll be a good pickup for interested folks, I'm sure, but in my opinion it's only that first Titan trade that you need (and it's what I'm commenting from). That was where Mills was at full power, and where the concept was fresh enough to be thoughtful, and free of the pressures of continuation. The first Marshal Law could have acted as the last, as it is a very complete work in theme.

And that theme is somewhat more complex than you'd think from reading a synopsis, or looking to the stuff the book inspired. Hell, I don't think the early Marshal Law quite gets enough credit as a shaded work. It's not just about hating superheroes - it's about what hating superheroes has to mean while creating works that employ superhero tropes in their telling. In the process, the book not only acts as prosecuting attorney, but places itself under cross-examination.

But first: the hate.

A lot of the classic 'superheroes are dumb' ideas are in here. You will indeed find gross sexual practices, as well as good-looking supermen who are really mean and ugly. But at its core, this story is less interested in the super than the hero. Our super-powered title character, you see, hunts heroes. He hasn't found any yet, but he hunts nonetheless. In the meantime, he tangles with superheroes, who run rampant through the post-quake urban sprawl of San Futuro as killer gangs. Marshal Law is a government-sanctioned, official vigilante. Clad in leather, arms wrapped with barbed wire, the words FEAR AND LOATHING printed boldly across his chest where a nice S or a bat logo ought to be, he cuts a striking figure. He hates superheroes very, very much, although he knows that he and they are very much alike. Hell, he even has a boy sidekick of sorts, a crippled young man who's good with computers and has a mother who hates superheroes as much as the Marshal.

Plus, both Law and lawbreakers got their powers the same way - signing up as young people for an ill-fated war in the jungle, one where all the soldiers were made mighty, in the tradition of the oldest, greatest superheroes, also the products of government experiments. Like the Public Spirit, who was muscular, platinum-haired, deeply religious, proudly patriotic, media-manufactured, and conveniently away on a space mission while boys went away to die for the apple pie ideals he represented, and the survivors returned to a nation with nothing much for them to do. Law, at least, built up his hate, and you can guess that he hates the Public Spirit most of all.

As such, Mills (he of the famed Charley's War) positions superheroes as soldiers - former soldiers, acclaimed soldiers, part-time soldiers, but always men and women of war. This is the key genre concept of Marshal Law, and one it shares in certain ways with major superhero works that preceded it. In his introduction to the Titan volume, Mills praises Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Watchmen as masterpieces, and both of those earlier works contain themes of superheroes as government tools, and notions of the superhero as soldier.

Batman used it for rhetorical flourish, and a means of imposing his individual worldview on his surroundings. Watchmen, characteristically, employed the notion as yet another means of throwing the fantastic nature of its cast into sharp relief against the machinations of realism. But in Marshal Law, ‘soldier’ is neither another costume for a superhero to wear, nor another cruel, vaudevillian role for mighty talents to fill. For Mills, the soldier is the superhero, in that the ‘superhero’ is an ideal made flesh that’s sold to transform young people, to get them into foreign lands. They are both the bright fighters on the page, as well as the eager readers of their own prescribed myth. Hey, why not? Nothing could go wrong with this science, this spirit! This country! Hard work and guts!

It is so simple it hurts. They are superheroes because they are the beneficiaries of a superpower, in both the fantastic and geopolitical sense.

So, Marshal Law hunts down his own fellow veterans, unhappy with the false things their 'heroism' stands for, the violence and useless wars and popping Hitler in the kisser and all that. His eye is really on the Public Spirit, and he gets his big shot when a mystery superperson known as the Sleepman starts going around raping and killing women who dress like the Public Spirit's current lover, Celeste, a deep-cover mind-control super-siren. Marshal Law thinks the Public Spirit murdered an old lover, Virago, who was also a siren. Now he thinks he's murdering again.

Easy, right? Rebel avenger faces down false god, saves the day, slaps around America's lies, laughs at dumb capes, etc. Right?

It could have been that simple, but Mills is far too keenly aware of the ironies behind a superhero hating other superheroes, icons of hitting tackling icons of hitting through socks to the kisser. I'm going to get into spoiler territory now, but the story's 20 years old so I think the statute of limitations has run.

More than anything else, the story of Marshal Law is a collection of narrations, and not just by the 'good' characters. Most sequences are dotted with caption-based thoughts by someone, and in this way we learn that, say, the Sleepman also hates superheroes just as much as Marshal Law. Actually, he's kind of fond of the leather-clad nut. We hear of Celeste's mercenary view of the superhero life. Crucially, we get the perspective of Law's boss, a cynical man who sees both Law and the Public Spirit as the same, both providing succor to the masses. One a catchy batch of popular down-home appeal, the other a pleasingly grim 'n gritty avenger who cleans things up good. Hell, one could probably replace the other, if the fashions change. Both are good cogs in the wheel of policy. Mills clearly knows this.

As the story goes on, it becomes uncomfortable in its own skin. Law's hatred of the Public Spirit causes him to nearly miss the truth behind the mystery: that the Sleepman is actually his own boy assistant, who is also the Public Spirit's secret son, and his superhero-hating mother is actually the thought-dead ex-lover of the Public Spirit, the mind-control siren Virago. Both hate superheroes for different reasons - the Sleepman due to the self-loathing of a stunted adolscent, Virago because of personal betrayal. It's not hard to read these characterizations today as critiques of different modes of genre hate, that powered by personal discomfort and that powered by personal disappointment, respectively. There's sympathy for both, yet both are ultimately ruled ineffective before the Marshal's deeper, comprehensive hate.

But even he's not let off. The story's sixth and final chapter all but collapses into a fit of anxiety, as the Marshal and the Public Spirit fight to the finish, and the Marshal's dead girlfriend (oh, she got raped and killed by the Sleepman, by the way) critiques the concept of the superhero, and the makeup of both characters, from a feminist perspective. The Sleepman declares Marshal Law to be his mother. The title character is revealed to have maybe created half of his problems by playing the opposite of his fallen idol, standing as the architect of a false revolution, the newest form of exactly the fake ideals he hates. He's Watchmen as the superhero genre, rather than Watchmen as the end of the superhero genre. He fails to bring the Public Spirit to justice his way, he fails to kill the Sleepman, and he's left weeping in a graveyard at the end. This is good, however, as his tears show that maybe he's on his way to finding a more effective means of revolt.

The message is plain: heroism will not be found in superheroes, but it also can't be manufactured by playing into the same games in a 'cooler' way. Mills suggests that one has to reject the masculine, violent accoutrements of the genre as a whole to avoid merely reinforcing it. The heroism that Marshal Law craves probably can't be found through any idealistic clashes, and that's what really sets the story apart from similar critiques - there's no yearning for a lost innocence, or a desire to purify the superhero genre. The book spends half its length smashing what is, then spends the next half exploring the futility of reform. That's what I mean by comprehensive hate. We can't expect better. We have to leave it all beyond recognition. Maybe we just have to leave it.

It didn't happen that way for Marshal Law. The book was popular, and new stories were made. Marshal Law kept on fighting, more-or-less acting as the new badass-type status quo superhero that his first storyline warned that he might become. Parodies of famed Marvel and DC characters were wheeled out for beatings, noisy slapstick became the norm, team-ups with established characters were had, and the series settled in to being another superhero book, 'hate' flavored.

Kevin O'Neill's art always looked good, at least. I've hardly mentioned him at all, huh? Rest assured that he's very good on all of these stories, but especially in those moments in the first storyline where he gets to play up the iconographic elements of comics art, a hugging mother's arms forming a heart, or a young boy's head being plastered on a burly superhuman body. Like that first story as a whole, its strength is not in subtlety, or subtext, or gentle caresses against your cheek. I like when a comic caresses me, sure, but don’t go expecting it here. It's roughness leads it into added trouble - the story's treatment of its female characters perches unsteadily between criticism of the genre's sexualized treatment of women and exploitive shock tactics like the hero's chick getting raped and killed to drive him onward with burning spirit. Always conflicted.

I guess I should also say I don't really agree with Mills' conclusions about the genre, not totally. But I respect the story as a funny, intensive work, a smartly-made thing that articulates its points well and is willing to follow them all the way. Far enough that the concluding impression one has of the story is that of a genuine existential howl. A perfect birthday gift.

Abhay Will Never Write a Decent Title for this Blog, Ever; Come On!

So then, one last time: we have three comic books under review, that I wanted to try to look at long enough, close enough, tuff-e-nuff. Three comic books. What do they mean? Why do you want to hear stories about any of this stuff? What does which one we like say about what they mean to us, or what our time means to us, or what Chinese words mean, or what we mean to each other?

Why are they useful? Like: what is the fundamental utility of this crap from a hunter-gatherer perspective? No matter how much society tries to counter-program our survival impulse, we're biologically programmed to strive to compete and succeed. So, from an evolutionary perspective: how do they help you survive better than competitive organisms? Or if they don’t, do we lack fitness because we're spending Competing Time so frivolously? You can say "I just want something that entertains me" but does being entertained in this particular way make you smarter, faster, cooler, more popular, more successful? Bottom-line: if you had to kill a deer, right now, with your hands-- could you snap a deer's neck with your bare hands? Or if you were walking down the street, and a fucking elk came charging at you, could you drop that elk with a kung-fu chop to the elk's forehead, and then pass your genetic information into the elk's womb, and give birth to a new species of man-elk hybrid? Do you think the Melk would be able to conquer all before them in an orgy of blood and horns? I'm all out of bubblegum.

"I just want something that entertains me"-- sure, but lots of things would entertain you. You could watch that AMC show Mad Men. You could watch pornography. You could make a Works bomb using household chemicals and scare your neighbors. You could take phencyclidine aka PCP, Angel Dust, Supergrass, Gorilla Pills, Killer Weed, DOA, Embalming Fluid, Purple Rain, and break into your neighbor's house and tie them to their beds before they can do anything and scream the plot of NEW AVENGERS issue #32 into their faces while they struggle to get free. You and I, Internet, and the fun we'll have, high on Rocket Fuel, scaring neighbors, doing home invasions, eating out of garbage cans, reading NEW AVENGERS to each other on freight trains, violently sexing one another outside of an abandoned Toy Factory in Gary, Indiana, while genital-less action figures watch from the windows and judge us, while the rain falls down and washes away all of our transgressions, just like out of a Billy Joel song, a gutteral ancient Billy Joel song sung only in Hell.

Three comics; three approaches:

(1) SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPERHEROES#31: I ran out of anything to say four weeks ago, and I only read this comic three weeks ago. The visual presentation is cleanly presented, though characters often pose in obscure, weightless ways (the Legion of Superheroes is fond of jazz-hands). It's not heavy on detail and I can't say it conveys much power or energy-- there's little flourish; it's very straightforward. But DC was never comfortable with Kirby, if you know what I mean.

There's nothing that keeps DC from imitating NEW AVENGERS's success characterwise-- there's nothing that keeps the LSH from being a team of future versions of DC's most popular characters. Future Batman, Future Superman, Future Flash, etc. Nothing but a Persian army of angry fans sure to set fire to comic stores everywhere, but it's interesting how with all these garish events by DC-- all the rapings and killings and munging-- how you pick up a DC book at random: it could be 1962, 1978, 1983, 1991. Nothing indicates you're in our time but computer colors, different paper, ads for the "video games" the kids like.

SLOSH #31 doesn't satisfy the current DC mission statement, no: nobody dies, nobody cries, someone's getting fired. That big boring DC DNA, one helix of yawn stranded to one helix of timid-- it survives no matter what stunts they pull. Is that comforting or discomforting? Both?

(2) NEW AVENGERS #32: would-be summer movie blockbuster modern; to-the-extreme panel layouts; decent Dave McCaig colors; unnecessary sound effects-- three different fonts on one page! So you get your money's worth! Little tiny lines! Cliffhangers! Paranoia about women! War on terror metaphors! I am so, so old! Too old! I just want! A cup of tea! A nap! My! Life! Went! By! So! Fast! Meant! So! Little!!!

Marvel's always been more comfortable with more youthful art, more energetic art than what SLOSH puts forward. Do I consistently understand what I'm looking at in NA #32? Not really, but I think the kids like guessing which panel to read next-- you get more for your money that way. I liked crazier stuff than this when I was a kid…

The Skrulls thing ... I'm not in the mood to complain about that this week-- I'm still in recovery from having attended the Masque of the Red Death San Diego Edition 2007. Maybe next week but I don't want to do that whole "No, no, not that, wrong, Not that! " fan-mantra. That way fans can have a 'perfect high" moment that they want to be impossibly recreated—I just spent the weekend surrounded by it … Do you ever think it's not an accident a cartoonist wrote the final scene of Carnal Knowledge?

(3) And COLD HEAT #1-- drawn in dark purple ink, then drenched in blue and pink colored pencil. Panels wash into one another; the drawings respond to the emotions of the characters rather than create them; dialogue is expository and opaque seemingly at the same time; unnecessary lettering floats about.

There's a theory in film criticism-- I think I've heard it attributed to Jean-Luc Godard-- that if a film looks like a status quo movie, then the audience will treat it as reinforcing the status quo however much the film might try to didactically argue against the status quo. You ever heard that one? I'm not sure if that applies here or not-- I just wanted to name-drop Godard. You like Wittgenstein? Yeah: I went to college. Check me out.

The first issue of COLD HEAT-- in making these artistic choices, does it jolt the audience out of their normal experience and force them to re-experience material in a fresh way? Or is that just a big bunch of rhetorical nonsense to hide an absence of craft? Maybe I’m snowed because I think the colors are super-neat, but I personally tend to the former. But it’s art-gallery-interesting to me, interesting in how it was conceived, how it invites me to think about its creation. Which—is that its own sort of pornography, you know?

So: what’s the fundamental purpose of a comic book? Which of these three books satisfy that purpose?

Is it to deliver beloved comic book characters? By that standard, SLOSH wins—you get the most characters. Or is the purpose to deliver you into an artist’s vision? COLD HEAT wins at that. Is it just to excite the humors? NA succeeds well enough at that. Is it that there is no purpose, and the universe is cold and empty, without significance but for whatever trivial meaning we impose upon it, p.s. God is dead, so let’s snort crank and scare the neighbors? By that standard, ACCORDING TO JIM wins. Specifically the episode “Jim’s Birthday”: “Jim tries everything in his power (including Andy) to sabotage the birthday party Cheryl threw for him.” See, the birthday party symbolizes birth, but the sabotage symbolizes death, and Cheryl, Jim’s “wife,” symbolizes the urge to procreate; thus, Jim by trying to sabotage his wife, is expressing a desire to undo his own birth, to undo his own creation. According to Jim, God is dead. p.s. Andy symbolizes hilarity.

So, yeah: basically, I want art that can “win” and beat other art, while I sit on the sidelines and rate who wins. Good. Ass. Excellent. Eh. I want a FANTASTIC FOUR comic book that can hold your CHECKMATE comic book down and prison rape it. Is that normal? In prison, it is. And aren’t we all in prison? Like, because society’s a prison, dude? Let’s just be all deep and shit.

NEXT WEEK: Some other comic, finally, finally, finally!

POS Follies Part 9

OK, system in and up, doors opened a bit, and we've done our first 2 sales.

OF COURSE the first sale (w/ 4 items) scanned successfully on zero of them, but he was cool enough to let me go enter the scans back into the system (though I can easialy check someone out w/o it), so the NEXT time I sell those books it should go smooth. We'll see!

Second transaction was good for 3 of the 4, and the last was my last copy of something that I won't restock anyway, so I let it go.

Anyway, back to it, more later (maybe)

-B

Housecleaning Notes.

So, if you want to read Brian's POS pains in the entirity, you can go here and get the entire POS Follies series of posts (Gimme awhile, and I'll actually label all of his retailing info posts, so those persons who come here wanting to read that kind of thing only can do so without fear of running into opinions); it seemed like something that should be easier to get to than it used to be, somehow.

Question for the audience: Should we add tags (sorry, Blogger, I mean "labels") for each poster, so you could search for Jog's, Johanna's, Abhay's, etc.'s, posts more easily, or is that just getting ridiculous?

EDIT: Okay, individual posters have labels for their posts going back to the relaunch (Sorry, folks - I'm not going to go back and label the previous 700-odd posts right now. Maybe when I have a large amount of free time). Feel free to use the comments thread to suggest other changes we need to make to make this blog more excitingly user-friendly, with the exception of asking for larger fonts.

Back! Rushing! Speed speed!: Graeme catches up on 7/25's books.

Dear Teacher, please forgive Graeme for not posting for four days. I mean, sure there was that San Diego thing at the weekend (And thanks to all Kate and I met and hung around with there, by the way; it was fun), but there was also work and all manner of craziness happening at the same time that meant that my attempt to write lots of reviews ahead of time went somewhat awry. That said, San Diego was weird, in that it may be the first convention in my life that I've ever left feeling more excited about comics than I was when I got there. I think that's due to the fact that the few things I picked up while there were all very, very good (In particular, Black Metal, Pulphope and Joel Priddy's Beeswax Bound; I completely forgot to try and pick up a copy of the "5" minicomic, though, much to my annoyance) - Expect some kind of write-up of those things and more (Clubbing! Laika! Robot Dreams!) soon, once I catch up with the weekly grind. Which can only mean one thing: Time for lots of short reviews!

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #542: Is there anyone who isn't deadly bored of this storyline? The stunningly unconvincing "Dark Spidey" plot continues with Peter Parker promising to kill the Kingpin and enjoying Kyle Baker's favorite sport, shirtless fighting. If it wasn't for Ron Garney's surprisingly good artwork, this would be much less than Awful.

ANNIHILATION CONQUEST: STARLORD #1: Another Good spin-off from the Annihilation line, with Keith Giffen remembering that Marvel has plenty of non-MODOK d-list characters that could be used and abused as cannon-fodder in this beautifully illustrated book - Timothy Green II really makes this more enjoyable than it has any right to be. Here's hoping he ends up a superstar who still manages to do random and fun books like this one.

BLACK SUMMER #1: Which is really #2, and also Eh. If you like Warren Ellis a lot and wanted to see him do superheroes, then you'll probably like this, but there's not enough meat or originality in this issue to make me want to come back for the next issue.

DOKTOR SLEEPLESS #1: Also in the disappointing Ellis vein, this new ongoing feels very much like Ellis trying to find a fictional use for the online persona that he's been trying on for the last couple of years, but not really succeeding. Lots of lines feel as if he's written them elsewhere and, again, there's not enough of a hook to bring non-Ellis fans back for a second issue. Eh.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #14: My first taste of the Green Lantern spin-off, and the momentum of the Sinestro Corps crossover is enough to make it seem like something I should be reading more often. I don't know if it's good writing or just depressing that Dave Gibbons' writing fits in so well with Geoff Johns' work, but it's solid enough space opera. Good.

THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST #7: One of the books I would've spent more time on had I had the time, this fill-in/breather between main storylines was Very Good despite the oddly-split art chores; romantic, funny and smart, this really is what I want to see more of in my punchin' and kickin' books.

IRON MAN #20: Pretty much filler, but well enough done to be Okay nonetheless - Ending the issue with "Find out Iron Man's fate in World War Hulk!" does make me wonder whether the next issue, which isn't a World War Hulk crossover, is just going to completely ignore whatever the end of WWH is going to be, or spoil it, considering that the crossover has another three months to run, but that's the way these particular cookies crumble, I guess.

THE MIGHTY AVENGERS #4: Hey, remember this book? That's good, because this issue is pretty unmemorable in and of itself. "Nice" to see the return of gratuitous death of spouse as plot McGuffin, though. And when I say "nice," I mean Crap. Late and depressing.

STAR TREK: YEAR FOUR #1: It's just like an episode of the original series, if the original series was Awful. The main fault, I think, is that it's half a story - All set-up and then rushed resolution - although the art (which can't decide whether it wants to be "realistic" or cartoony) doesn't help, either. I almost want to say that it's a missed opportunity, but I'm not sure what opportunity has been missed, exactly - Was anyone really desperate to see a comic version of what happened when the original show was cancelled when we've already had movie follow-ups and years of comics with the same characters?

UNHOLY UNION #1: Ass Crap, as Abhay might say, but it really is - An ugly '90s flashback with no plot and pointless guest stars that leads into a crossover you don't want to read. There's no rhyme, reason nor explanation for the crossing over of the Marvel and Top Cow universes here, instead the characters just appear for a pointless and generic fight scene without a winner, then magically disappear once the pages are up. It's tough to say just how lazy and painful to read this is, so I'll just say that everyone should avoid it, and leave it at that.

Any attempt at Picking Of The Week would end up with something that I'd read at SDCC (Although Iron Fist comes close, I have to admit), but Picking Of The Weak would easily be Unholy Union. Ron Marz, you lived through this the first time... Why're you doing it to yourself again?

POS Follies Part 8

OK, double Ow.

Left the house at 6:30 this morning, arrived back home at midnight. Whee.

That whole "let's try to open" thing? Turned out to be not so great of an idea, weirdly enough -- still just enough training to do/things to go over/ fussy things to finish (or get into shouting distance of finished at least) So we didn't bother to try.

Oddly enough, we still pretty much did a "normal" Monday's sales, as we let in subbers who were just there to pick up thier orders, and anyone who knew JUST what they wanted.... but still, that means we'd have had a GREAT Monday if we'd let browsers in.

We will definitely be open on time tomorrow, everything is set "enough" for it -- I still have about 200-ish items that were never in MOBY's database, or needed something cleaned up, or are something special to our store, or whatever, that need to be entered.... but those can be done catch-as-catch can over the next (whatever) because they're not exactly top sellers or anything -- but the overwhelming majority (98.5% or better) of the inventory is in the computer and ready to sell. Well, 20% of it doesn't have barcodes yet (and 10% of those won't ever), but we can look up via the keyboard anything really fast.

Anyway, game on tomorrow.

I'll be back in somewhere between 7 & 8 AM to clear up my last bits of business, then I'll have one last 12 hour day before I can go back to "normal" (though I'll be working all day each day for the next bit, just to back up Rob and Sue a couple of days each as they work their way through getting comfortable of the logic of the system.)

But, yeah, it is live and selling books tomorrow.

Hurrah!

-B

POS Follies Part 7

Ow.

So Mark Richman of MOBY arrived on Saturday night to complete our install of the MOBY point-of-sales system, and to begin our training on it.

Saturday night, Rob Bennett and I did the hard physical inventory of the store, as Mark wrestled the hardware into working order, clearing up all the issues I couldn't figure out, like how to get all three of the different printers (receipt, bar code, and regular 8.5x11) working in harmony.

Rob and I started around 7:30 PM. "How long can it take?" I mused out loud, "I bet we can get it done in 3 hours max". Admittedly, I thought we were going to have one more body with us. We were done SEVEN hours later, at just past 2 AM. I got to bed at 3 AM ish.

I was back at the store by 9:30 AM Sunday morning to actually enter the inventory numbers into the computer. I was freaked out that my estimate of 3 hours to accomplish that was catastrophically wrong, given the inventory timing, but I actually finished it in just under 2 hours, going at a leisurely pace, and spending lots of time double checking my entries.

(Originally Jeff Lester was meant to help with the data entry -- but he had an out-of-town wedding the same weekend, so it fell to me... He'd have probably finished in an hour flat)

Noon, and Mark started training Sue, Rob and I. Spent perhaps too much time on stuff not directly related to selling-TO-a-customer type functionality, so it looks like training will roll on 'til tomorrow as we get our first customers.

Mark had some programming related to requests we made, so, rather than hover over his shoulder while he is doing that, I decided discretion as better than, etc., and retreated home to lick my wounds. I plan on leaving the house by 6:30 am tomorrow to get a jump on the last fiddly bits of inventory management (as always, there was a fair chunk of stuff that fell through the cracks), because I'm setting my goal of being done with all of that (except, maybe, the mini-comics... and we might just skip it as being too-much-work, for too-little-return to get them in the system by about 9 am tomorrow. Which probably won't happen, but I'm going to try.

Mark thinks we should stay closed in the AM, to do some last things, and while I'll probably defer to him in the end, I'm trying to work it so we CAN open at 11AM like normal, rather than 2 or 3. We already cheated a bunch of customers out of today. Rather not perpetuate that, if it is sensible to do so.

Funny, I'm not in San Diego, but I'm pretty much keeping San Diego hours, and feeling that San Diego pain, too!

One big fuck up on my part: I didn't have the barcode scanner set up properly to capture the "hanging" 4 digits in a code, so I have 200-ish scans which will end up being severely wrong. Nice thing is, you can "train" MOBY in codes "on the spot", so this will be a fairly minimal hassle.

Ugh, my brain is total mush right now, but I think we'll be very cool at some point tomorrow -- MOBY is pretty clearly 7 flavors full of wonderful, and I'm pretty confident I made the right choice in POS systems; it is both sexy and robust!

More when I have another chance to breathe... I might even be skipping on the shipping list this week 'cuz I don't know if I will have the time.

-B

The Posts Never Stop: Jog might as well make it a 7/25 hat-trick.

Plenty of comics fuel left in my reviewing tank, gang. It was a big week.

Warren Ellis' Crécy: Oh, it’s a new Apparat book. I suspect most of you recall Ellis’ and Avatar’s 2004 effort at simulating the offerings of a comics industry that developed along different lines than the present. Basically, it meant Ellis playing with a group of different long-lived genres for a while. This new book is a self-contained thing of 48 pages, b&w at $6.99. I believe that will be the official Apparat format now.

So what type of comic is this? Educational! Yep, it’s the sort of comic where a character addresses the reader directly, walking them through a specific historical period or event, happily pointing out bits of trivia, and occasionally interacting with real historical personages. Helpful maps are included. The narrating character here is a cocksure, foul-mouthed trooper marching for England toward the famed 1346 Battle of Crécy, in which English longbows decimated both French noblemen and chivalry in war. Our friend both reports and editorializes, fully aware of his 21st century audience; he explains tactics and weaponry, reveals class distinctions, pauses in the middle of gory mayhem to define battlefield terms, and sometimes even expresses the concern of the soldier over combat (oddly, since he knows how it ends).

Ellis often employs flights of explanation in his comics, so he’s quite comfortable crafting a fast-moving lecture, one that expectedly basks in the nastier aspects of its topic, yet deftly characterizes the merciless battle and its terroristic surroundings as an assertion of humanity from people considered by their enemies to be not so much barbarians as beasts of the field, even as those people don’t spread much charity around between themselves. Raulo Caceres provides lushly rendered (if cluttered) visuals that serve to ground the narration in period accoutrement. A pretty GOOD exercise.

Speak of the Devil #1 (of 6): This new Dark Horse release from Gilbert Hernandez surprised me, in that I had absolutely no idea it was coming out (or even existed) until I saw it on Diamond’s list for this week. My surprise doubled when I discovered that it’s part of Hernandez’s plan to ‘adapt’ to comics several of the unsavory movies Love and Rockets character Fritz has acted in; apparently, this effort will now span multiple publishers and formats, since Fantagraphics will soon be releasing another of the series, Chance in Hell, as a graphic novel, and I’d sort of associated the project with that publisher. And that format, actually, given Hernandez’s recent expressions of weariness toward serialization. The title page is dated “2006-7,” so perhaps it’s already done.

The plot is sex thriller cheese deluxe, with a spunky teenage gymnast taking to the streets at night in a wide-eyed devil mask to peep in on the private affairs of the neighborhood. This includes the sweaty trysts of her father and stepmom, the latter of which rather likes being watched. Meanwhile, a tired-eyed boy philosophizes in a cemetery about dark secrets. And there’s a beatnik.

That’s about it for the first issue, although the relative lightness of content doesn’t suggest a larger work mechanically broken into pieces; Hernandez is a nearly unparalleled comics storyteller, and there’s tangible ebb and flow to the work that suggests a keen mind tuned to pamphlets. The real trick is that Hernandez is deliberately employing a spread-out ‘cinematic’ comics idiom for a half-jokey work that would probably benefit from having all of its grotty power on display for immediate consumption. Like, with Chance in Hell, from the looks of it. EH for now, but I expect better as it collects itself.

Comics People Have Dirty Minds: Jog returns to 7/25 after a long day’s absence.

Come on, everyone! Up to my internet patio. It is a warm summer's day, and we have gentle comics to flip through. Let's laugh and yawn until butterflies land in our mouths, and we'll just let them stay there. Because we are peace.

Tank Girl: The Gifting #2 (of 4): You know Tank Girl, right? Nasty young woman, drives a tank, kangaroo guy for a boyfriend? Now drawn by Ashley Wood? That last part leads to grand sights like this issue's inside-front cover, depicting the kangaroo guy's head (and nothing else) peering out dead-eyed from between Our Heroine's legs, as she glances at the reader and declares "I wuv him."

It's the weird alchemy of Wood's distinctive art and Alan Martin's antic, gag-loaded writing that made the first issue of this thing such a compelling/creepy variant of the old Jamie Hewlett material - think the Bill Sienkiewicz of Elektra: Assassin illustrating a Nextwave: Agents of H.A.T.E. script, and you'll be partway there. And maybe intrigued! Starting this issue, Rufus Dayglo provides layouts for Wood's finishes and colors, to little immediate effect beyond a small increase in 'traditional' cartoon exaggeration - Wood is utterly dominant, which means that, say, a panel of the kangaroo guy accidentally picking up a turd instead of a lost toy gun in the sewers is rendered with such stark drama that it’s funnier for being unsettling. A truly inappropriate Tank Girl!

Unfortunately, this issue’s 15-page lead story (part one of two, at that) only reinforced my view that Martin’s Tank Girl tales are better when they’re shorter; what might seem charmingly who-gives-a-shit at eight pages can easily turn irritatingly distracted at nearly twice that length. Better all around is the four-page second story (prose short and pinup also included for your $3.99), concerning how a vintage toy ray gun prompts awful terror and declarations like “you can take your wiffy stiffies and fuck off back to crappyland.” Just part of the series’ ongoing look at nostalgia, a good enough bet for… a Tank Girl revival. OKAY.

Multiple Warheads #1: Meanwhile, here is a another comic about a driven young woman cohabiting with an animal person, although this boyfriend is a werewolf, and only got that way after the girl sewed a wolf penis onto him for his birthday. At one point the idea was part of a porn comic, but this is a 48-page, $5.99 b&w debut issue from Oni, and the girl (Sexica) is an exotic organ smuggler who enjoys adventures we never see, and the wolf boy (Nikoli) is a tinkerer who dreams in fables, and the two rely on ingenuity and heart to escape their dead surroundings and visit the Impossible City. Youth! Love! Etc!

I haven't read writer/artist Brandon Graham's prior release, the Tokyopop original King City, so this is the first I've gotten close to his unique blend of vintage underground flourishes (the term "hup" features prominently), whimsical technologies, loopy puns, and airy manga visions of cities. If you love Marc Bell comics and scanlations of delicate Afternoon or IKKI shorts in equal measure, buckle up for Heaven. Graham puts all of his energy toward creating fascinatingly odd, lived-in environments, speckled with detail so obscure that it can only hope to resonate off in Ideaspace or somewhere - and it kinda does!

The lived-in feel also extends to some nice, intimate work done with the lead duo, the kind of we-know-each-other interactions that run the risk of appearing as shallow characterization (or worse - a nerdy male author stand-in having private time with his special Sexica), if not tackled with care. Graham doesn’t have much trouble with that, though the obligatory wistful narration veers close to preciousness; I could have gone for even more silent outdoor life to digest. But what's here is VERY GOOD.

SUPERHEROES ARE FOR BLOOD AND HITTING: Jog presses some 7/25 superbooks to his bosom.

My mother used to ask me "why is it always hitting?" when she'd look at my superhero comics. This week is dedicated to mom.

Black Summer #1 (of 7): Featuring chapter 2 of our serial! Chapter 1 was in issue #0, of course. Makes for laughs when digging through the bins years later.

I get a fuzzy feeling over how perfect Juan Jose Ryp is for this book. All tangled hair and silent movie expressions and gore and debris - perfect for such garish superheroics, like a shuddering mix of Geof Darrow and Tim Vigil. I like how Mark Sweeney's colors make even the dark pages look bright and poppy, and how crackles of electricity wind up having the same consistency as splashing vodka. I mean, if you're going to have a comic book about a superhero killing the President and flying triumphantly through the sky with blood spattered all over his silver Sgt. Pepper uniform, with that same story featuring a crippled guy setting an assassin's head on fire before being menaced by dinosaur horns growing from the burning man's arms... this is the just the art you need.

Folks hungry for political content will have to wait; this issue's nothing but fighting, bits of background, and the obligatory Warren Ellis technical explanations for various superpowers. The protagonist oscillates between ruinous vulnerability and tough-talking composure, as often happens, and the world stands ready for change, as it often does. But Ellis can write superheroes (er, body-modification experts) with a rare energy, when he's into it, and he seems very 'in' here. GOOD.

The Immortal Iron Fist #7: One of the neat things about the first storyline of this series was that the two or three art team per issue setup seemed both creative and pragmatic - I could never not see the situation as a means of spreading the monthly workload, but I appreciated how the storytelling facilitated that goal in a way that nicely fit in with the general mythology-building aim.

This issue, a one-off story about an Iron Fist of the past, is different. There's still three art teams, but this time the breaks seem to be set at points in the main character's development. Maybe? I confess I had to study the issue before it seemed like anything other than Marvel throwing up its hands and going "well, no other way this is getting out before deadline," which stands out worse for the approach taken before. Oh, the three teams are perfectly nice. Enough that when one character is suddenly missing all his hair after an art switch, I'm inclined to think that maybe he just shaved it off, thinking it was a fire hazard. I should know better, huh?

Ed Brubaker's and Matt Fraction's story is sweet, and fitting for a breather issue like this. Wu Ao-Shi is the one and only female Iron Fist, rising to greatness yet challenged by the man she loves dearly, who can't quite cope with her life of ass-kicking. And she kicks many asses, mainly pirate asses, before the two can be together for good. It's cute. Sometimes a little too cute for my tastes, especially when mixing the fable-like narration with modern language for quick laffs. I'll give it a GOOD as well, but it's pulling me in two directions, as if I ought to be ranking it lower, while knowing it could maybe be higher.

All Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder #6: By this point it's clear that Frank Miller is way more interested in writing eccentric/pissy little character bits (punching also included) than moving the plot anywhere in a speedy fashion, and I like this series more the broader it gets. But the ripest scene in this issue is a hospital cheesecake bit with Vicki Vale, complete with breathless narration assuring us that 16-year old special guest star Jimmy Olsen "really gets off" when Vicki says his name. Then he peeps while she strips off her hospital gown. There's also a visual cite to The Graduate, just to show off the book's masterful command of subtlety. Much of the remaining humor space is taken up by Black Canary's atrocious Irish patois ("She makes me feel like I've got bees in my head," moans a nearby thug) - waiter, make that extra cheese.

What else? Hitting, of course. The book indulges in some more of the stuff All Star Superman has also been into: sewing a world out of bits of the writer's prior uses of the title character. Hence, we have Barbara Gordon as Carrie Kelley (note the poster in her room... hooray for subtlety!), and the return of the notion of Batman inspiring youth to action. As always, Miller is all about Freedom!, this time spiked with the young Batman's reluctance to accept any help he can't directly control. I didn't do a full continuity analysis or anything, but I can see the other All Star book taking place five or so years down the road from this book, everyone a little wiser and calmer.

Ah, but the Goddamn Batman stuff is starting to feel snoozy, and all the jumping timeframes and narration shifts give me a headache after a while. Pretty EH, but by now you know this comic embodies YMMV, right?

Mississippi Goddamn: Graeme goes to Gotham, 7/25.

In a mad rush! In a mad rush! Flying to San Diego tomorrow to embarrass Douglas Wolk on his panel on Saturday, and that can mean only one thing: Lots and lots of stuff to deal with at work in order for me not to have a nervous breakdown over the weekend. Well, two things: It also means short reviews, so...

ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #6: The following lines of dialogue appear in this issue: "I've got a whole different problem with the goddamn Batman." "What really bugs me about the goddamn Batman is what he's turned into." "The goddamn Batman has become a goddamn urban legend." "Oh, sweet Jesus! It's the goddamn Batman!" FRANK. I GET IT. Please, just move on already, will you?

(Mind you, if moving on means more dialogue like the Black Canary's weird Irish-esque monologue - "Oh, you tease a poor Colleen, don't you now? These aren't my daily dainties" - then maybe you should stick with the goddamn thing for awhile longer.)

What's become the most interesting thing about this book is the way that it's completely passed the point of self-parody by now. Not only is there no real plot development in this issue to speak of (Instead, we get the introduction of another new character, after #5's Justice League - well, really, Wonder Woman - and Black Canary in either #4 or #3, because I can't remember back that far; this time, it's Batgirl, who again doesn't really add that much to the story other than playing the Carrie Kelley role from Dark Knight in the same way that Black Canary plays the Catwoman role from Year One. The new characters have gotten so important to this book, it seems, that poor Robin doesn't appear at all this issue, despite his name being the biggest thing on the cover), but I didn't even expect any when I started to read it, in the same way that I expected crappy dialogue and cliched narration and Jim Lee to be Jim Lee. While I feel that, on any serious scale, this would be a crappy comic, somehow by sheer force of will, ASBARTW has transcended beyond that; all I can really say is that it's a very All-Star-Batman-And-Robin-The-Boy-Wonder-y issue of the series and that, taken on its own terms, it's actually Good. Just don't go anywhere near it if you didn't like the first five issues.

BATMAN #666: There's a thread on Newsarama where fans go on about how terrible they found this issue, but I've managed to convince myself that they're reading an entirely different comic book than I was; this one-issue flash forward into a hellish Gotham (Hey, it's #666!) where both the hero and the villain have made deals with the devil was fast-moving, fun and nonsensical in the best way - like coming in on the final ten minutes of a movie that you really wish you'd caught the start of. Good if not great, but with enough style that you don't care, anyway.

Tomorrow: Maybe no reviews, or maybe even shorter ones...

Smell like I sound, I'm lost in a crowd: Diana calls animal control on 7/25

Graeme McMillan has shamed me. All this time he's been here, endangering his will to live by reading crappy comics so we don't have to, and how do I repay him? By sticking to stuff I'm likely to enjoy anyway.

Well, Graeme, this one's for you! Let's talk about WOLVERINE #55 and the many, many ways Jeph Loeb makes the baby Xenu cry.

In a sense, Loeb is the writer most aligned with the public perception of comics: he's loud, cliched, somewhat incoherent, pretty much the printed equivalent of a Jerry Bruckheimer popcorn flick. An okay way to spend six minutes, but there's nothing more to see here, folks.

To be fair, this sort of bombastic, all-style-no-substance approach has its fans, and I can understand the appeal of the occasional non-cerebral Things Go 'Splody comic... just as long as you understand that it is a non-cerebral Things Go 'Splody comic. And that's where Loeb messes up, because he quite obviously lacks that sort of self-awareness - you never get the feeling that he's winking at his readers as he writes these horrifically cheesy scenes (that last page is a "KHAAAAAAN!" Photoshop just waiting to happen). No, Loeb - and by extension, Marvel - apparently expect us to take this issue very seriously. They're putting out press releases about how Loeb has killed off a certain long-standing rival of Wolverine (yeah, that'll last). In other words, this isn't a spoof of the overwrought '90s comic, it's a recreation, and we're being asked to critique it based on today's standards.

And, unfortunately, the past few years have raised the bar for comics waaaay over Loeb's head.

Just look at how repetitive, how thoroughly unimpressive this one comic can be: from Loeb's fixation on primordial goo, to Wolverine's first line of dialogue being lifted verbatim from a Loeb-penned scene in HEROES (the one where Niki meets DL's mother), to the Special Sword that saves the day - "Won't say how it works, only that it clearly does." Um, no, Jeph. If you're going to hinge your entire storyline on some Magical MacGuffin that can kill the bloody unkillable, you're damn well going to explain how it works. And, of course, the poor hideous monster has a final moment of humanity (despite Loeb being kind enough to remind us of all his past atrocities, so are we expected to sympathize with him now?) and begs for death, which is duly granted. Ugh.

Even if you ignore the cliches and take an overall look at the story Loeb's telling... well, apparently the whole feral mutant war is predicated on hair color. "One blonde. One black. He knows only one can survive." Thank God for peroxide, I suppose. And then, just as you're wondering whether this is some colossal practical joke played at your expense, a shadowy figure (quite probably Axel Alonso) emerges to reassure us that "everything you've learned is true". Because nothing says "This story will stick" like a mouthpiece promising that it will, and that Wolverine is now... hell, I don't even know. The new spokesperson for Lycanthropes Anonymous? Heir to that abominable Austen storyline with the talking wolves? Even more pointlessly complicated than he was before?

Really, it's that transparent writer's fiat that annoys me the most, the fact that Loeb is constantly reinforcing the events of the story with lines about how the sword "very clearly" works, and how "everything you've learned is true", etc. Rather than use the story to convince us, Loeb basically tells us we MUST be convinced. And I'm not. Mark my words, this whole CRAP story will either be directly retconned or quietly forgotten by the end of next year, emerging only in Wikipedia articles that link it to "Nightcrawler's father is Satan" and "Gwen Stacy's Teenage Mutant Ninja Goblins".

The Devil, You Say: Graeme starts off 7/25 on a hellish note.

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL #1 is the kind of comic that sticks with you after you read it. Not because it's a work of genius, mind you; no, this sticks with you because you're trying to work out why it's not so much better than it actually is.

It definitely has the ingredients; Gilbert Hernandez doing a melodrama about suburbia and fetishism and sexuality? It should be great, right? And there are parts of it that are great - the core idea, for example, is clever enough to seem worth reading further, and the art is Hernandez's usual iconic fetishism all of his own ("What if Dan Clowes and Robert Crumb were genetically-melded and drew Archie?") - but there's something so crappy in the writing that just makes it almost uncomfortable to read. I mean, look at this dialogue between the main character and her friend:

"She's just teasing you, Val; she's really so totally behind you!"
"Yeah, Patty - - Behind me with a strap-on!"
"Not every dyke is after your sweet tail, blue-eyes."
"These days going lesbo might be preferable."
"Considering the male company you keep, I'm surprised you didn't go lesbo a long time ago."

It's just horrible, as if Hernandez is secretly hoping to make this into a porn film at some point - an idea that comes back when we see that the main character's step-mother (who just happens to be a cocktail waitress at some bar where she has to wear fishnets, horns and deviltail) enjoys being watched by the neighborhood peeping tom (who happens to be her step-daughter) while she has sex with her husband, rationalising it with "If he was just a neighborhood kid, he might learn something by watching us - - If he comes back." Boom chicka wow indeed.

And yet, I keep thinking about the comic after finishing it, disappointed by the pedestrian nature of the execution of what could be something much better. I'm not entirely sure why - the hope that the crappy dialogue and the overly sexualized women are intentional and making some grand point later on, perhaps? The need to not have Hernandez making such a bad comic book, considering his other work? - but I'm sure that that counts for something. I just wish I knew what that something was. A confused Awful.

My Life is Choked with Comics #2 - Wish You Were Here #1-2 (plus The New Invaders #1-9, with special bonus Jim Shooter/Lars von Trier team-up)

Hello. I am here to whisk us all away, if only to sleep.

I got to do one of my favorite comics-related things the other day - digging for nonsense in the bargain bins. You see, I'd just finished reading last week's The Programme #1 from Wildstorm (VERY GOOD stuff, by the way), and someone had mentioned to me that I ought to check out artist C.P. Smith's prior work on Marvel's The New Invaders series from 2004-05, a would-be ongoing that got shot down at issue #9. The timing was right for a look in the bins -- there's a window that opens after two to three years where long runs of low-selling series tend to show up, stores wanting to clean out the back issue stock and all -- and sure enough, I picked up the whole blessed thing for $4.50. You bet your ass I'll buy comics just to track a guy's visual development at those prices!

But, much like the informative articles put in the spicy photo magazines I read as part of my serious academic studies, there's words in balloons floating all around the pictures, and... well, since I have to buy them I might as well read them, right? I don't recall The New Invaders being very well reviewed at the time of its serialization. Actually, our own Jeff Lester once called it "probably the dullest superhero comic Marvel’s ever published. It’s like watching paint dry, but without the fun of smelling the fumes." Luckily, my landlord actually is painting a downstairs apartment, so I set up a chair in the hall and huffed deeply whenever USAgent grimaced.

It was a lot of fun, and I think I figured out what was wrong with the series - of the three storylines spread across nine issues, the first two were devoted entirely to things like background-setting, riffs on prior characterizations, and/or premature, unresolved clashes with villains. There was a lot of promise of at least quasi-resolution to come, but the third storyline just barely managed to begin with that when the series got canned. There was also a Millar-era Wolverine tie-in tucked away in there, which only served to hold the storytelling back even more. Too bad, but a common trap for Marvel/DC superhero comic serialization.

And yet, reading that series really did get me thinking about serials and pamphlet-format comics. It also took me back to something I saw while wandering from bin to bin, something on the wall with all the trade paperbacks - one of the Ignatz books. You've heard of them, right? A joint venture between Fantagraphics Books and Coconino Press (of Italy)?

If Image's much-discussed Slimline format for comics pamphlets represented an attempt to restore the value and sleekness of your average comic book by dropping the story pages to 16 and the price to $1.99, the Ignatz series ran off waving its arms in the other direction - the story pages are upped to 32 (remember, most "32-page" comics are actually 20-22 pages without ads), the price is increased to $7.95, and each issue is printed on fine paper, at 8 1/2" x 11" with jackets on every soft cover. Like comic books, these little productions offer series and serials, in little bites. They're numbered both in terms of series and in general order of release, in that, say, Sammy the Mouse #1 is also Ignatz #21, kind of like the Marvel Graphic Novel series or Dogme 95, thus retaining the collector's impulse. But you'll never find them in bargain bins - their content, dimensions, and gloss are like that of trades or graphic novels, and so they stay on the shelves.

But, how do they operate? As series, I mean. If they're so damned unique.

From my reading, it varies greatly. One of my favorite things about the Ignatz line is that the people published under it seem to be selected wholly on the basis of "oh, they'd be neat to have," so you're bound to get a lot of different approaches. Gilbert Hernandez's New Tales of Old Palomar, for example, presents issue-length short stories set in various points along his larger Palomar timeline. Gabriella Giandelli's Interiorae sets its larger story's issue breaks as time jumps, so that each issue is temporally self-contained. Richard Sala's Delphine organizes itself along more typical serial lines, with all the cliffhangers at the end that you'd expect. And David B.'s Babel, well... it behaves like the new graphic novel from David B., not yet complete, and being published 32 pages at a time. There's chapter breaks, but they only seem like necessary poles planted in an onrushing stream of narrative.

My favorite operation, however, is probably Gipi's Wish You Were Here. It's only two issues so far. I don't know if any more are even planned. Certainly no more have been finished in any foreign tongue - I checked.

Gipi is interesting in general, mind you. He's an Italian artist (full name: Gianni Alfonso Pacinotti), and fairly prolific, having released at least one large (80 or more page) book per year since 2003, although he's been active since the late '90s. His online bibliography is great, offering huge previews of all his books, plus seven complete stories and twenty-four one-page pieces, albeit all in Italian. His subject matters are all over the place, although he always keeps the human element at the front.

He's also got a wonderfully varied visual style, ranging early on from moody smudges (slightly reminiscent today of Ben Templesmith), to whiplash variations between realism and sketchwork, to achingly light, lovely paintwork. Lately, he's been applying flatter colors to loose lines. A few months ago, First Second brought to English his 2005 Garage Band in the US. In a few weeks, they'll have his 2004 Notes for a War Story ready too. The two books represent delicate youthful color and war's sickly green. They are not related by plot. Both of them, however, focus on groups of young men, forming little societies to cage them off from the tough realities of the world, and looking for/reacting to paternal influence. It's all about boys and their dads with Gipi, from what I can read in English.

The two issues of Wish You Were Here cover the same theme - the fraternity among boys, and their relationships with father figures. However, they explicitly operate as part of a series of crime comics, set in a shared world, among a shared group of characters. Indeed, Gipi treats his two issues as a unified study in contrasts, using one issue against the other to establish many dualities. I wonder if a third issue would throw off the balance? Regardless, we have what we have.

Issue #1, subtitled The Innocents, takes place during the day, and is narrated via conversations between characters and the occasional sketchbook-style flashback. The plot concerns a grown man, Giulano, who's supposed to be taking his sister's kid out on a trip to an amusement park. Instead, he gets a call from a long-lost friend, Valerio, who used to run in a gang of four with him when they were kids. Valerio wants to meet, and Giulano hasn't seen him in a while; as he tells the kid on the way over, Valerio did a long stretch in prison at the climax of a prolonged struggle with shitty local anti-terrorist cops, evil father figures. They may have ruined Valerio's mind, and who knows what the now-grown fool will do. But there's a sweet, gentle touch to everything, an appreciation for white lies and letting things sit, as a means of coping with intense, sad pain.

Issue #2, They Found the Car (what a name!), takes place wholly at night, and is narrated through an interaction of omniscient narration and character dialogue. In this story, the other two members of the child gang have also grown up. We are told the names of neither. But, like in the prior story, one contacts the other out of the blue, asking to meet, although this trip will be more sinister. They did a horrible thing in the past (we never find out what), and The Car was supposed to be hidden away (we never find out why), and now people will have to be silenced in an effective manner. One of the men thinks a lot about God, a good father figure, and how he has let him down. Where there was a child tagging long in issue #1, offering innocence, there is a wife who eventually shows in issue #2, offering pragmatism. Where issue #1 is light and soothing, issue #2 is ominous and jutting.

Both of these issues work just fine as standalone stories. They offer full, interesting characterizations, and small human adventures that never seem too lean or overstuffed.

But Gipi uses the contrasts between his two issues to provide a fascinating total work, one only possible from an artist as willing to jump from mode to mode as him. Set in the same place, at around the same time, the two halves of Wish You Were Here join to present a study of opposing experiences from a shared background. All of the main characters were rough boys, street kids. All of them seem capable of violence. One gets the feeling that a slight change in circumstance might have switched any of their roles, even though the two groups of two we glimpse never interact in the present.

The time of day and the tides of fate draw two of the grown boys toward bonding, a sort of reconciliation out of violence, while the other two experience violence as a force of paranoia and separation. It is implied that a person can overcome the sins of man, the police-as-social-fathers, while they can only cope with their own sins before God, the father of all. Indeed, the narrative voice employed in each suggests the world of men, conversations mixed with human memory, and the eye of the Almighty, conversations inseparable from narration-from-beyond. There is irony in this construct too, in that the men dealing with bad fathers can find happiness, while those under the eye of the good father must struggle greatly toward an ambiguous finish.

This is the type of sophisticated technique that the pamphlet formet is well-suited for. Really! There's a vivid immediacy to short bits of story, yet a comic as a story package provides a whiff of self-collectedness, what with the covers and all. Gipi uses each Ignatz comic as a small vial of exclusive moods, which can be emptied as part of a larger series to form a whole, similar, contrasting, complete world. I can't think of any system of serialization that could do it in quite so attractive and intuitive a manner! It takes skill, and care, and publishers willing to pay out for such things, no doubt, but it's successful projects like Gipi's that speak well for the pamphlet format as a whole, however fancy or trashy it's made to look.

There is still life in the old format, aesthetic life. Comics like this remind me that we need not stuff the whole thing into the dusty bins. Some of them just won't fit inside.

Mopping up 7/18: Douglas on World War Hulk #2

As Brian noted, it turns out the problem wasn't "event fatigue"; it's just fatigue with dull events. I hadn't been following the Hulk for, I'm guessing, 15 years or more, and I'm now thoroughly drawn in by World War Hulk. The funny thing is that it's exactly the kind of story I thought I was sick of--long-underwear types beating each other up for five issues straight, plus lots of tie-ins, while they speechify about how the enemy has never been so powerful and this calls for the greatest struggle ever and so on. But so far it's actually fun and exciting and Very Good, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens next. Here's why I'm enjoying it so much: *There's real dramatic force to WWH as an event, because both the fight and the story in general proceed entirely from the characters' personalities as they've been established. The plot has nudged them into place, of course, but everything they do feels inevitable--not, as in Civil War and Identity Crisis and so on, as if they're being frogmarched in some unwarranted direction. (The two-panel Reed-and-Sue scene this issue is a "yes, that's exactly what they'd do" moment, as opposed to their Civil War headslappers.) We've been bracing for this since Namor's line in Bendis's Illuminati special about how "he's going to come back and he's going to kill you all."

*The "crossover" elements have mostly been pretty well handled--there's a very specific sequence of events that everybody's been working with, and the multiple-angle approach of the various series tying in with it reinforces the sense that something massive is happening. Some of the crossovers are still pretty lousy, mind you, but at least they mostly seem to address legitimate story points, and I've liked a couple of them a lot, especially Ant-Man. And the way Greg Pak is handling WWH and the regular Incredible Hulk series at the same time is very sharp: Incredible concentrates on the supporting cast, WWH concentrates on the Big Fight, and in each of them the other story is mostly going on in the background.

*John Romita Jr. and Klaus Janson are exactly the right people to be drawing the main WWH series, because they're really good at making stuff look BIG and DRAMATIC. Even the digital-blur effects in the Hulk/Thing fight make the scene more brutal and kinetic instead of cornier.

*Amadeus Cho. What a great character--even captions have more fun when he's around. ("Jen's total fave"!) Not that he's really in this issue...

*As tired as I'm getting of the Sentry as the character whose powers are just about literally providing deus ex machina endings, I kind of love the idea of him helplessly sitting out the fight.

*This could very easily have been a gorefest, with rolling heads and blood in the streets; even though the initial premise of the Hulk being shot into space is based on the idea that his rampages kill lots of people, Pak and company are avoiding the cheap manipulation of on-panel ichor-spraying. (I'm kind of amused that all the characters keep using "smash" to describe what the Hulk's doing.)

*Even though it's obviously not going to be, it feels like a final Hulk story in some ways, with the whole supporting cast of the series returning for dramatic closure. Actually, I have no idea how there can be another Hulk story after this one, although Pak clearly knows where he's going--Dr. Strange's comment about redeeming the Hulk at the beginning of this issue points toward a potentially interesting angle.

The really smart thing about World War Hulk is that Pak has appealed to the standard line on what the Hulk is about--rage being something that makes you stupid and violent--and then flipped it over. The Hulk's rage, this time, is righteous--which it's taken two years' worth of stories to set up, but now it's very clear. The stupid, violent guy indisputably has a just cause for war, and it comes from the military-industrial complex, in the person of Iron Man et al., having done horrible and treacherous things, once again claiming--reasonably--to have been acting in the interest of public safety. The premise is not just "oh, crap, the monster is coming back from outer space to smash us all," it's "the monster is coming back from outer space to smash us all, and oh, crap, he's kind of justified, isn't he? But wait: we have a right to act in our own imminent defense, don't we?"

So, as much as this is a story about a massive fight scene, it's also a story about a drive for revenge that's being characterized as monstrous; about the economic engines of war and industry, and the governmental apparatus that supports them in the name of public security, and the resentment they've built up coming back to explode in their face; about more or less legitimate ideologies that are more or less legitimately at odds clashing, violently, and bringing destruction to everything around them; about karmic payback. In other words, it's a political story, about the present moment, maybe even more than Civil War was. But this one's aiming for thrills rather than "importance," and it's much better entertainment.

ALSO: While I'm thinking of it, two of your Savage Critics will be appearing at Comic-Con International! I'm moderating three panels:

"Drawing Style and Storytelling": 12:30-2 PM on Thursday (with Darwyn Cooke, Carla Speed McNeil, Colleen Coover, Cameron Stewart, and possibly a special guest; unfortunately, Brian Wood probably won't be able to make it)

"Meet the Press: Writing About Comics": 10:30-11:30 AM on Saturday (with Graeme as well as Heidi MacDonald, Nisha Gopalan, Tom Spurgeon and Tom McLean)

"Comics Are Not Literature": 11:30 AM-1 PM on Sunday (with Cecil Castellucci, Dan Nadel, Austin Grossman, Paul Tobin and Sara Ryan)

And I'll be signing Reading Comics on Thursday, 2:30-3:30 PM, and Saturday, 3-4 PM, at the Comic Relief booth, 1514-1523! Come say hi.

Arriving 7/25

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: what kind of asshole relaunches his blog, then doesn't actually post any reviews to it in the first week?

That asshole would be me!

My excuse is thus: Point-of-Sale goes live in six days (Monday 7/30), and I'm drowning in work to get everything ready for it. The database is "mostly" done (I still need to go and add distributors for the non-brokered stuff -- though I sorta am afraid if I put "COLD CUT" in that field, and there's not great news coming out after San Diego, that I am going to really strongly regret it), but I have to "get ahead" on other normal-business stuff.

For example, the new order form is due on 7/31... but if I don't finish it by, uh, tomorrow, it isn't going to get done this month, then we'll have no comics in September! Same thing with the latest subscription list, plus we had ONOMATOPOEIA to layout and print last week. Put it this way: I've been hopping.

I will (WILL!!!!) be ready come "D-Day" -- that's actually Saturday night, as we do inventory; and Sunday when we close the store to finish that, and install the database -- but every second of every day is precious right now in getting shit done.

I've barely responded to emails from Kate McMillan asking about the site, for that matter -- everything is triage mode right now. If it isn't POS related, and it will take more than 15 seconds to respond, then it is being put off!

One thing Kate did is to add a PayPal donation button over to the right -- if you like what you've been reading, PLEASE FEEL FREE to make a donation. At some point we'll probably be going to some form of advertising, but, for now, we're beggars on our knees, and if every one of you donated a buck or two, I could cut my fellow reviewers a nice check for their efforts. Think about it, will you?

Um, what else.... oh, yeah, Matt Brady finally put up the latest Tilting at Windmills on Newsarama, with some commentary on how DC's marketing has failed COUNTDOWN. Give it a read!

Mm, and like Abhay, I picture alt cartoonists on the bus, too. Except for Peter Bagge. He's on a bus, too... but he's wearing an ascot, and holding one of those Dennis the Menace pipes.

Also: am I the only one already sick of San Diego? Shit hasn't even started yet, and I find the whole exercise tiresome. I'm REALLY glad we're doing POS that weekend...

This week's books? OH MY GOD, it is a freakin' flood. Seriously, my largest invoice of the 21st Century. Not of ever, but in the last 7 years at least.

And I bet the post-SD one will be just as huge, too.

Anyway, here's what Comix Experience is getting this week:

ALL NEW OFF HB MARVEL UNIVERSE A TO Z UPDATE #3 ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #6 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #542 ANGRY YOUTH COMIX #13 ANNIHILATION CONQUEST STAR LORD #1 (OF 4) ARCHIE #577 BATMAN #666 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA #12 BETTY #167 BLACK DIAMOND #3 (OF 6) BLACK PANTHER #29 CWI BLACK SUMMER #1 (OF 7) BLUE BEETLE #17 BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #5 CABLE DEADPOOL #43 CARTOON NETWORK BLOCK PARTY #35 CHEMIST COUNTDOWN 40 CROSSING MIDNIGHT #9 DEATHBLOW #6 DOKTOR SLEEPLESS #1 DUST #1 (OF 2) ELEPHANTMEN #10 FALLEN ANGEL IDW #18 FANTASTIC FIVE #2 (OF 5) FEAR AGENT LAST GOODBYE #2 FUTURAMA COMICS #32 GON VOL 1 GREEN ARROW YEAR ONE #2 (OF 6) GREEN LANTERN CORPS #14 GRENDEL BEHOLD THE DEVIL #0 HAWKGIRL #66 HELLBLAZER #234 HELLBOY DARKNESS CALLS #4 (OF 6) HEROES FOR HIRE #12 WWH HIDING IN TIME #1 (OF 4) IMMORTAL IRON FIST #7 INCREDIBLE HULK #108 WWH INVINCIBLE #44 IRON MAN #20 WWH JSA CLASSIFIED #28 JUGHEAD #183 LOVE & ROCKETS VOL 2 #20 (NOTE PRICE) LOVE AND CAPES #5 MAGICIAN APPRENTICE #9 (OF 12) MARVEL ADVENTURES IRON MAN #3 MIGHTY AVENGERS #4 CWI MULTIPLE WARHEADS #1 NINJA SCROLL #11 ONSLAUGHT REBORN #4 (OF 5) QUEEN & COUNTRY #32 RAISE THE DEAD #4 (OF 4) RED SONJA #24 RIDE DIE VALKYRIE #2 (OF 3) SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN #39 SHEENA #2 (OF 5) SILVER SURFER REQUIEM #3 (OF 4) SPEAK O/T DEVIL #1 (OF 6) SPIDER-MAN FAIRY TALES #3 (OF 4) STAR TREK YEAR FOUR #1 STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC #18 SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #32 SUPERMAN #665 (CD) TANK GIRL THE GIFTING #2 TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #45 TEEN TITANS #49 (AA) TEEN TITANS GO #45 TESTAMENT #19 TOP COW / MARVEL UNHOLY UNION TRON #4 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #44 USAGI YOJIMBO #104 WALKING DEAD #39 WARHAMMER 40K DAMNATION CRUSADE CVR A #6 Of(6) WETWORKS #11 WITCHBLADE #109 WOLVERINE #55 WONDER WOMAN #11 (AA) X-MEN #201 X-MEN FIRST CLASS VOL 2 #2

Books / Mags / Stuff 24 SEVEN VOL 2 GN 52 VOL 2 TP ALAN MOORE HYPOTHETICAL LIZARD TP ALAN MOORE WILD WORLDS TP ALTER EGO #70 AMERICA JR VOL 1 TP AMERICAN VIRGIN VOL 2 GOING DOWN TP BACK ISSUE #23 BATTLE POPE VOL 4 TP WRATH OF GOD BOMB QUEEN VOL 2 TP QUEEN OF HEARTS CHICA GN (A) CLASSIC DC CHARACTER #3 WONDER WOMAN ESSENTIAL SPIDER-WOMAN VOL 2 TP FRIENDS OF LULU PRESENTS GIRLS GUIDE TO GUY STUFF GN GOODNIGHT IRENE GN ILLUSTRATION MAGAZINE #19 IMMORTAL IRON FIST VOL 1 LAST IRON FIST STORY PREM HC JOHNNY RYANS XXX SCUMBAG PARTY TP MARTIAN MANHUNTER THE OTHERS AMONG US TP MOON KNIGHT VOL 1 ROCK BOTTOM TP NANCY DREW VOL 10 THE DISORIENTED EXPRESS SC POSTCARDS TRUE STORIES THAT NEVER HAPPENED HC PREVIEWS VOL XVII #8 PULPHOPE ART OF PAUL POPE SC SHOWCASE PRESENTS MARTIAN MANHUNTER VOL 1 TP SOJOURN VOL 5 A SORCERERS TALE TP SOUNDS OF YOUR NAME GN SQUA TRONT #12 TIJUANA BIBLES VOL 8 TP (A) TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #156 UNCANNY X-MEN RISE & FALL OF THE SHIAR HC WARREN ELLIS CRECY GN WILL EISNER EDGE OF GENIUS VOL 1 TP WIZARD MAGAZINE ALEX ROSS JSA KINGDOM COME CVR #191 WRITE NOW #16

What looks good to YOU?

-B

ABHAY HAS THE BEST ONION RINGS IN THE STATE; OH, I'LL SHOW YOU "DISJOINTED!"; HOW DO YOU TITLE A BLOG?

We now continue our review of New Avengers #32, Supergirl & Legion of Superheros #31, and Cold Heat #1, already in "progress": This week is about plot; but before we bother...

Some memories never go away, right? And you don't get to pick which ones those are...? You're always one neurochemical abra-cadabra away from some awful moment from your life, yes? You're just one synaptic misfire away from that time you vomited into a baby carriage and had to run away from angry parents and their puke-drenched horror-baby, yes? And which moment you get to relive-- that's out of your hands. The teensy tiny tip of the iceberg that makes up the conscious you is not steering the ship; you're not the boss of you.

But, but: we all walk around with so much story shrapnel in our head now. You try to watch a TV show, but you fall asleep half-way in. Some movie's so bad you turn it off before it's over. Comics: maybe you pick up a "jump-on" point but don't jump. Or maybe you lose interest. Or maybe a writer gets fired halfway through a story. Or whatever. But it goes in your brain; you remember it.

Fragments, slashed up chunks of nothing, and they're IN YOUR BRAIN and they NEVER FUCKING GO AWAY? Dude: that is shit-the-bed scary.

What if: what if you get into a car accident that rips off your arms and legs and takes off your face and paralyzes you, but the accident leaves you alive, but you're a prisoner inside your flesh, and politicians won't let you die, but your mind still works and you're trapped with your memories, and you're trapped with some unfinished story-with-no-ending and holy crap, dude? Or what if: what if after you die, what if in the afterlife, all you have are your memories to relive for the rest of eternity, and you're trapped with these unfinished stories for the rest of time? Imagine you had to spend eternity with whatever it is you ingest or read or consume. That's as possible an afterlife as any of the others I've ever heard, so maybe you have to be careful right this second, just in case. What if a bad comic carried a risk of eternal damnation? What if there were something at stake here? Or, or what if: what if when you go to sit on a toilet, a werewolf's head leaps out of a toilet bowl, all fucking growly, and bites you on the taint, and, fucking great-- now you're a stupid werewolf, and the only way to stop hurting the innocent is to shoot a silver bullet up your own asshole? Fuck!

But I'm still not getting the next issue of SLOSH because Whatever. SLOSH #31: The characters all have superpowers, but they never get around to using them. There's only one fight scene, but it only lasts two small panels and it's seen from a far off distance-- it's basically little better than stick figures fighting. There's lots of characters, but none of them like each other. There's a character called Braniac, but he gets all his ideas from someone else. Characters argue, but there's nothing at stake. People talk, but nothing is said. Stewardesses smile, but not with their eyes. Etc.

My favorite part: the engine of the issue is the team has to find the missing "Cosmic Boy." Which I find delightful: a comic as square, as un-psychedelic as SLOSH #31 is about the Cosmic Boy having gone missing. It's Freudian Slip comic book plotting! When did Excitement Boy or Commercial Success Lass go missing?

And no: I don't know why a werewolf would be in the toilet... Maybe one of your turds turned into a wolf in the light of the full moon. Get it? The full moon = your pasty butt. I got you! I got you so good I can taste it! (victory, not your butt) What if you end up remembering the-time-I-got-you for all eternity?

NA #32 is even easier to describe: NINE PAGE PLANE CRASH!! The issue has to delay so the crossover it sets up will fit snugly between the glorious World War Hulk and whatever crossover follows it. Can't dance-- fuck it: NINE PAGE PLANE CRASH!!

The scene has positive qualities. It's at least tactile, and kinetic, scalable from human experience. But: NINE PAGE PLANE CRASH...? In a comic where a plane crash won't even hurt half the characters? Where we know all the characters on the plane have their own series or movie deals? Some would argue what happens after the crash redeems the crash itself-- the crash is misdirection for the issue's later events. But that's not how it felt for me as I was reading it. I didn't get to the end and say "This ending justifies all this wasted page geography spent on empty spectacle. I enjoy codeine and prostitutes." You probably said that; hey, I didn't; viva la difference...

(Though there is one moment I did like: the plane's going down-- most of the superheros are doing stoic superhero shit, trying to save the day-- except Hawkeye, who in the Bendis Avengers is usually portrayed as a big ol' pussy, I guess...? Hawkeye sissy-screams: "We're going to land on people!" I honestly thought that was terrific.)

So the comic where the plot moves forward the most? COLD HEAT #1.

I would expect the opposite-- I tend to expect more plot from a mainstream book than a comic that looks like COLD HEAT #1 so the inversion here is striking. SPOILER WARNING: a girl named Castle has a boyfriend who has died; drugs; she goes to a party where another young man dies-- Castle is at least partially culpable; she wakes up the next morning and learns the ways of the ninja; somewhere, bombs fall; a dream-penis is compared to a telephone(?); at the end, a cliffhanger; plus a funny bonus essay. COLD HEAT #1, strictly plotwise, is a ninja bad-girl origin story, a Brian Pulido cover band except for an audience that doesn't like Brian Pulido...? Though those looking for a companion book to Shi or Whore of the Shuriken or whatever might be, uhm, challenged by the presentation, where I think the heart of the book lies moreso than the plot. Or even beyond the distinctive presentation style, a good nonconsecutive chunk of the book finds the main character in bed, asleep-- not even dreaming, just napping through her own comic.

Here's a complete digression: close your eyes and imagine an alternative cartoonist in your head, and the alternative cartoonist has to get to the supermarket in a hurry. Any alternative cartoonist you want. I'll wait... Okay, one question: Did you imagine the alternative cartoonist on a bus? I realized the other day that I never imagine alternative cartoonists driving a car, hanging out, living, loving. I just imagine them on an endless bus ride. COLD HEAT's Frank Santoro? On a bus. Kevin Huizenga? On a bus. Robert Crumb? On a French bus. Is that just me?

Anyway: will we ever find out what happens to the sleeping ninja bad-girl dream-penis telephone drugs? COLD HEAT is cancelled. Presumably the creators work away somewhere on a fully-realized collected edition, but who knows? Frank Santoro could be crossing the street tomorrow and get hit by a bus. Frant Santoro could be running to catch a bus tommorow, and he could trip over a fire hydrant, and crack his head open. Frank Santoro could be on a bus when another bus falls from the sky crushing him and maybe also crushing a turd-wolf. We don't know the future.

Which returns us to our original point, that we run a profound risk ingesting the incomplete, the half-finished, the "let's solicit this before it's done." Anyways. They're all linked, plotwise, in at least one way: SLOSH is all about a team mistrusting one another; NA is all about a team mistrusting one another; the characters in COLD HEAT sure have reason to mistrust one another, what with the ninjitsu and all. Always with the drama... I don't think it's helpful just to throw our hands in the air and blame the zeitgeist. Isn't there more than that to consider? Is it healthy to feed yourself that theme so constantly? Shouldn't we worry that it

Guess who's the schmuck who's credited with editing it?: Graeme finishes off his stack of 7/18 books.

Two random thoughts (and one of them concerns Harry Potter, so look away, Charlie): Firstly, that epilogue in Harry Potter - what? I mean, seriously, am I the only one who thought that it was kind of a crappy ending to the whole thing? (I know that Kate didn't; she loved it to pieces.) And secondly, after listening to Danger Doom on the way to work this morning, I realized: Stephen Colbert is Space Ghost, and The Colbert Report is Coast To Coast. Now it all makes sense.

Okay, with both of those out of my system, shall we look at some comics?

ANNIHILATION: CONQUEST: QUASAR #1: As much as I didn't care for this Okay issue - a lot of my dislike is down to Mike Lilly's art, which is overly rendered and feels weirdly gratuitous in terms of its core couple at times - it's still an interesting set-up for the series, and ties in nicely with the overall event. Maybe I'm just a sucker for stories where the heroes are fighting against a ticking clock, but I like the concept that Quasar only has limited (and getting smaller all the time) amounts of power to use unless she can save the day... Christos Gage's script feels very Claremontian at times, but I'm much more forgiving of that in Marvel superhero books these days... Blame it on my recent Essentials diving.

BIRDS OF PREY #108: So, I was reading Douglas's "Reading Comics" book this morning, and he mentions Birds of Prey as a pleasurable experience if not necessarily a long-lasting one due to its multiple-creator and cross-book-continuity elements... and with this issue - Gail Simone's last, I believe - I can kind of see his point on the latter part of that, at least; the thing that sticks out most from this rush-ending (which is nonetheless full of nice moments once Spy Smasher has left the book; she was an interesting idea for a character, but never seemed to quite work) was that the heart of the book really belongs not to Oracle but to Black Canary, who was pulled out of it to go star in Justice League and marry Green Arrow. Once she was gone, the series lost its focus and identity, and didn't really find it again throughout the remainder of Gail's run. The second half of this issue is as good as the book's been for a long time, and that's partially because Gail gets to write all of the main characters - including Canary - in a scene together again, bringing the friendship and familiarity that made the majority of her run so good. Very Good despite the obvious attempts to tie-up loose ends before leaving the room.

BLACK CANARY #2: And this was one of the reasons Dinah was taken out of BOP - Her own mini-series by name, although (excluding flashbacks) she only actually appears in eleven panels of the entire issue (Supporting cast member Green Arrow, by comparison, gets fifteen panels. Oh, and the bad guy is actually out to get him, not Canary). I shouldn't be that harsh, I guess; Tony Bedard's script is tight enough, and Paolo Siquiera's art is really rather nice, but this really isn't a book that stars Black Canary at all. Okay.

THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #5: As much as I really love the Legion, and especially Mark Waid's version of the team, and as much as I loved this issue, this is still just an Okay issue because there's just too much going on in it without any of it really mattering - For people who've never read the Legion before, there are too many characters appearing here without any real introduction or even personality, so they just become generic stand-ins to react to how cool Batman is. I mean, sure I love that Invisible Kid is a massive fanboy, but if you didn't know who Invisible Kid is, there's nothing here to make you love him, I don't think, and that's a disappointment from a series (and a writer) who's managed to distill all the other characters down to their essences so far. That said, bad guys called Luck Lords is somehow an awesome idea.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #11: You know, this is a nice enough one-off issue - and Gene Ha's artwork is probably what elevates it to that level, to be honest. There's something about the texture on that double-page spread opening the book that I adore, but I couldn't tell you why - but it feels weightless and unnecessary, filler while Brad Meltzer plays for time and waits for his run to finish next issue. What's become obvious about Meltzer's JLA run is that, while he's a massive JLA fan, he's a really bad JLA writer - his thirteen issues amounting to a confused eight-part (I'm counting the #0 issue) opener that substituted misdirections and fanboy nostalgia for plot, a JSA crossover that aspired to - and failed to meet - the level of something that Len Wein would hack out to meet a deadline so that Dick Dillin had something to draw, and a couple of fill-in issues. Yes, he's somehow a big name issue and a fan-favorite, but he didn't actually manage to do anything with the team, or even show why his particular version belonged together. He also managed to set plots in motion that he's unlikely to be able to wrap up next issue: What's going on with Geo-Force's powers going weird? What was happening with the three villains in the future seen during the JSA crossover? Red Tornado's traumatized and unstable now that he's a robot again - where is that going? Will Vixen be able to get her powers under control? and so on and so on. This issue: Eh from a pretty Awful run to date.

THE LONE RANGER #7: Okay, I admit it. Somehow this week, between announcements of Matt Wagner writing their Zorro revamp, this issue and PAINKILLER JANE #2, I've somehow come around to the idea of Dynamite as a pretty good publisher. I mean, yeah, they do Xena (which is potentially good, but I never saw the TV show nor the appeal, really) and Red Sonja and all, but they also do things like this and The Boys, and even that new Alex Ross book they're talking about. There's no way of getting around it - The Lone Ranger is just a Very Good series, and this issue keeps that up, building more onto the framework from the first storyline in terms of plot and character while Sergio Cariello continues to provide high quality Joe Kubert-esque artwork. It's the best TV show they never made, in a lot of ways, and I mean that as a complement. Meanwhile, Painkiller Jane continues to sneak up on me and become my new guilty pleasure - It's borderline exploitative and gratuitous, but there's something enjoyably offkilter and unexpected about where the story's going, and Lee Moder's art is smart and cartoony in all the right ways. Weirdly Good, if that makes sense.

SHAZAM: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL #4: A big finish that actually feels like a big finish, this hit all the notes that you wanted it to and, perhaps more importantly, did so in a way that felt right. Thankfully pulling back from the "Dr. Sivana is Dick Cheney!"-isms of the previous issue to concentrate more on the rockin'-em and sockin'-em moments, Jeff Smith manages to close out his series in a way that leaves you wanting more but happy with what you've got, just in case. Very Good.

THE SPIRIT #8: Darwyn, you had me at the first use of "Mr. Sexypants." Very Good and then some, this is one of the best books around these days; never mind Cooke's amazing art, his writing (balancing enough plot and closure to make each issue complete in and of itself, but consistently moving larger plots forward) may be the unsung star of this book.

SUPER-VILLAIN TEAM-UP: MODOK'S 11 #1: Can we now call time on MODOK as co-opted ironic cool icon? This issue is Okay enough, but I'm not sure the world ever really needed to see that MODOK was once a lovesick nerd before he got turned into a giant floating head, nor do I particularly want to see him in a heist movie with other forgotten villains. I mean, yeah, it's funny in a hipster way, but... Meh. I don't know. It feels like it's laughing at the source material and people who find it cool, rather than enjoying the dumb fun because it's dumb fun, you know?

THUNDERBOLTS: DESPERATE MEASURES #1: Because, for today's Marvel, you don't get fill-in issues, you get special one-shots that just take the place of the regular book on the schedule for a month. Aside from Steve Lieber's artwork (which is rather good, really, and definitely better than the story deserves), there's nothing to recommend this (Well, okay, there's the Herbie reference), unless you particularly want to read Paul Jenkins do a weak impression of Warren Ellis. Awful.

This week: More comics! And San Diego, so I take a couple of days off! Great!