Arriving 5/24

Pretty big week this week, with lots and lots of hero comics. Plus, some little book called SCOTT PILGRIM. Might have to look into that one... 2000 AD #1486 2000 AD #1487 52 WEEK #3 AMERICAN WAY #4 (OF 8) ANGRY YOUTH COMIX #11 ANNIHILATION RONAN #2 (OF 4) ARCHIE #566 ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #170 AVENGERS & POWER PACK ASSEMBLE #2 (OF 4) BATMAN #653 BIRDS OF PREY #94 BLACK PANTHER #16 BLUE BEETLE #3 BUCKAROO BANZAI #1 (OF 3) CARTOON NETWORK BLOCK PARTY #21 CATWOMAN #55 CHECKMATE #2 CHICANOS #7 CONAN BOOK OF THOTH #3 (OF 4) CRISIS AFTERMATH THE BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN #4 (OF 6) DAREDEVIL #85 ETERNALS SKETCHBOOK EXILES #81 FANTASTIC FOUR A DEATH IN THEFAMILY FUTURAMA COMICS #25 GREEN LANTERN #11 GROUNDED #6 (OF 6) HAWKGIRL #52 HELLBLAZER #220 IRON MAN #8 JSA CLASSIFIED #12 JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #245 LAST CHRISTMAS #1 (OF 6) LAST PLANET STANDING #2 (OF 5) LOADED BIBLE JESUS VS VAMPIRES ONE SHOT LOVELESS #7 MARVEL MILESTONES BLACK PANTHER STORM & KA-ZAR MONTE COOKS PTOLUS #1 NEGATIVE BURN #1 NEW AVENGERS #19 NEW EXCALIBUR #7 NEXTWAVE AGENTS OF HATE #5 ORSON SCOTT CARD WYRMS #1 CVRA PIRATE CLUB #10 POWERS #18 PVP #26 ROCKETO JOURNEY TO THE HIDDENSEA #8 SECRET SIX #1 (OF 6) SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN #26 SHE-HULK 2 #8 SHRUGGED #0 SKYE RUNNER #2 SPAWN #156 SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #6 SPIKE VS DRACULA #3 (OF 5) SQUADRON SUPREME #3 STRANGERS IN PARADISE #82 SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #18 TEEN TITANS #36 TESTAMENT #6 TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE GRIND #1 (OF 3) THRUD THE BARBARIAN #1 THUNDERBOLT JAXON #4 (OF 5) TOUPYDOOPS #2 UNCLE SCROOGE #354 WALT DISNEYS COMICS AND STORIES #669 WITCHBLADE #98 WOLVERINE #42 X-FACTOR #7 X-STATIX PRESENTS DEAD GIRL #5 (OF 5) ZOOM SUIT #2 (OF 4)

Books / Mags / Stuff ATTITUDE VOL 3 NEW SUBVERSIVESOCIAL COMMENTARY BLACK WIDOW THINGS THEY SAY ABOUT HER TP COMICS JOURNAL #276 CONCRETE VOL 5 THINK LIKE A MOUNTAIN TP FOLLOWING CEREBUS #8 IRON WOK JAN GN #18 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES VOL 2 DEATH OF A DREAM TP LOVELESS VOL 1 A KIN OF HOMECOMING TP MIKUS SEXUAL ORGY DIARY TP MODESTY BLAISE VOL 9 GALLOWS BIRD TP NEW THUNDERBOLTS VOL 3 RIGHT OF POWER TP OUR GANG VOL 1 SC PREVIEWS VOL XVI #6 RISING STARS VOL 4 TP SCOTT PILGRIM VOL 3 INFINITE SADNESS GN SCRUBLANDS GN SFX #143 SPIDER-MAN BLACK CAT EVIL THAT MEN DO MARVEL PREMIERE HC SUPERMAN STRANGE ATTRACTORS TP

What looks good to you?

-B

The Pilgrim Dilemma (and other things unrelated to Jeff's reviews of 05/17 Books...)

Sorry, 52: this week's release of Scott Pilgrim Vol. 3 is the first book in a long while that would make me hurry to the shop on a Wednesday. In fact, only the dread logic of "the sooner I read Vol. 3 of Scott Pilgrim, the longer I have to wait for Vol. 4" is keeping me from showing up before the store opens on Wednesday and filching my copy. (Hmmm. "Filching." That's another word deviant sex practices have ruined forever. Edi and I are rewatching Season Two of Arrested Development (which even on a second viewing is astonishingly funny) and the writers may have included every gay innuendo in the English language except "filching." With luck, that's in season three.)

Wrote a few reviews yesterday, but they read like gibberish. However, since nobody else is posting and some of last week's books also read like gibberish (yes, I'm looking at you, Superman/Batman #25), I'll give it another shot, with the caveat that I'm not responsible for anyone who mambo dogfaces in the banana patch, yes? Let's to it.

52 WEEK #2: Liked it better this week, and the home game version of 52, "Who wrote what this issue?" is fun to play with your favorite cranky chum. (I thought Morrison wrote the Morrow and Magnus scene which was great, but Hibbs assured me it was Waid. The ensuing recounting of our respective reasoning was, I think, pretty fucking amusing but far too profane to be mentioned here.) And thank god Montoya did what the Question asked and showed up at that warehouse--having a scene in the third issue where the Question popped out of an underwear model's vagina hollering "Who ARE you?" might have been a little too much. Highly OK, but not out of the woods yet.

ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THEBOY WONDER #4: I can't quite parse my feelings about this in any clever way so lemme try an analogy. Let's say I started showing up to work at Comix Experience without pants and Hibbs didn't fire me. So who would blame me for continuing to show up without pants? In fact, who would blame me if I decided to start teabagging customers whenever they bent down for a comic book?

Change "me" to "Frank Miller," "showing up to work at Comix Experince without pants and Hibbs didn't fire me" to "turning in the Dark Knight Strikes Again and being asked to do All-Star Batman" and I think my analogy becomes clear. And as long as I'm not the one getting teabagged, ASSB&RTBW is hilarious.

I mean, Jog, a.k.a. King Sensible, posts why the gatefold here was inferior to a smilar earlier use in Shaolin Cowboy. And while he's probably more or less right, I have to admit: I laughed out loud when they did it here, in part because that fucking gatefold just...kept...unfolding. I also laughed both times at Superman running(!) at superspeed across the ocean, looking like a Don Martin character drawn by Jim Lee. In fact, I enjoyed it so much I hope Miller pushes this approach even further although the possible bar-lowering effects it might have on Miller's future superhero work gives me pause. (Or is it that merely the strange sensation of something unexpected resting on my forehead?) Good in a "burning your heroes in effigy can be fucking hilarious" kind of way.

ANNIHILATION NOVA #2: Or, issue #2 of Everyone Hates Nova. It's not a bad book--the creators are very clued in to Giffen's wit, so there are some amusing moments here and there, and the story is cohesively focused on character driven drama in a way a lot of today's Marvel comics only pretend to be. But considering everyone in the book seems to have open contempt for Nova (including Nova!), I just can't help but feel the creators would rather be plying their ultra-competent skills on just about anyone else. OK.

AQUAMAN SWORD OF ATLANTIS #42: Jeezis, that whole "No, I'm not Aquaman, I just have the same name and look like him but I'm a totally different guy" thing is really dragging down the forward momentum on this book. And each issue has more characters from the DCU for Arthur to explain himself to, so I assume the grand conclusion of the arc will be Arthur meeting the Justice League and explaining to each individual member, "No, I'm not Aquaman, I just have the same name and look like him but I'm a totally different guy." A real shame, because the underwater Conan/ERB scenes are very enjoyable. OK, but let's get a move on, huh?

BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #4: I didn't review any of these issues because (if I'm remembering correctly) issue #1 came out when I was in Argentina and I was always an issue behind. But now that it's at the end, please let me recommend this fine Paul Pope miniseries. Compared to most of Pope's work, it's very one note--imagine that issue of Batman: Year One where the cops are hunting Batman in that bombed out building and multiply it by four--but he plays that note incredibly well. If you like to see Batman punching cops, you'll really like this mini. And if you like to see Paul Pope punch up his pacing and design to prove he's capable of turning out a technically accomplished thriller, you'll also really like this mini. Very Good stuff.

CONAN #28: The closest we're ever going to get to a Will Eisner issue of Conan, what with the story being Kurt Busiek's tribute to Robert E. Howard's life and with Eric Powell's expressive, character driven linework. Sadly, however, this issue reminded me of Eisner at his most schmaltzy: the poor dreamer who saves everyone is remembered by the village where he grew up as a coward and a fool, and only the people who know better are aware of how his his power and his talent saved them all. It's well-intentioned and clever, to be sure, but I found it blucky and, at its core, emotionally dishonest. Eh.

FELL #5: Ellis promised us a whiz-bang interrogation room scene last issue and I think he and Templesmith delivered. I'm not sure I bought all of Fell's emotional beats--I feel like Ellis can't decide whether Fell is a nice guy who can be a fucker when he needs to or a fucker who comes across like a nice guy than he really is--but all the body language stuff was fascinating and the simple drama of the situation worked for me. Very Good.

MAN-BAT #2: Shit, is Bruce Jones ripping off the Leopard Man again? Now that I think about it, this whole miniseries is just going to be one big rip-off of that film (creature on the loose is blamed for rash of murders that turn out instead to be the work of a demented serial killer), isn't it? One of the few times I've ever wished there was an afterlife, if only so Cornell Wilde, Ardel Wray, Jacques Tourneur and Val Lewton can deliver the eternal beatdown Bruce Jones so richly deserves. Awful.

MANHUNTER #22: Well, it's off to the quarter bins I go--I found the first One Year Later issue compelling (although not really enough to read the second issue, I admit it) and I dug this issue, too. With its emphasis on humor and the interaction of a wide supporting cast, this book kinda reminds me of She-Hulk, and also of Marvel books from the '70s where the narrative was kept aloft by the buoyancy of all the subplots. Oh sure, it's too late now but I thought this was highly OK and will be kinda sorry to see it go.

MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #1: Last week, I vowed to read Jeff Parker's all-ages work for Marvel. This week, I vow to continue to do so...as long as it's not Avengers. Admittedly, this is probably not Parker's fault as just about everything about this issue screamed "revised pitch for our animation department" from the set-up of an endless number of robot enemies for future Saturday morning bash-ups to the incredibly weird line-up (you can all but hear the Ted Knight voice intone: "Popular person! Black person! Other popular person! Iconic person! Female person! These are...The Avengers!") Sub-Eh, but sadly that's pretty much all anyone expects of Marvel's all-ages line so, I dunno, maybe it actually should be rated higher or something.

MARVEL LEGACY 1970S HANDBOOK: As you can imagine, for an old school Marvel fanboy like myself, this was pure chewing satisfaction. Pretty much an excuse to show off some great covers and make some easy and amusing cheap shots at some of the sillier Marvel concepts or dangling plot threads left dangling to this day. (As the only remaining fan on the planet of Skull The Slayer, I was delighted to see an entry on Slithicus or whatever the hell his name was). Expensive for such cheap thrills, but I enjoyed it. Very much OK.

MOON KNIGHT #2: Last issue's ultra slow-mo action sequence had that neat little reversal at the end but this one didn't even do that--it just dragged things out. Far from horrible--I like Finch's art and Huston's convinced me that he gets the character--but next issue better get things out of first gear or we're in trouble. OK.

SUPERMAN BATMAN #25: If these had shipped on time...if we'd gotten twenty-five issues of this title in just a hair over two years, I probably would be lauding this run for being a fun, dumb ride (like I did when I reviewed the first five or so issues). But this was a fucking mess, a script apparently hacked out between conference calls and or waiting for the restaurant valet to get the Lexis, that also had the gall to congratulate itself on its many "accomplishments." Really, really disappointing, even for fans of the nonsensical. Awful.

PICK OF THE WEEK: BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #4 was pretty cool stuff. And it all shipped on time! (I think.) Yay!

PICK OF THE WEAK: SUPERMAN BATMAN #25. Say what you will about Bruce Jones, he doesn't have the nerve (as of yet) to pass off a slice of dried out ham on moldy bread as a five star meal. But not only will Mr. Loeb, he'll also take himself the liberty of writing in a 25% tip on your bill because he found his service to be impeccable.

TRADE PICK: CASTLE WAITING HC is a tremendously gorgeous volume. But I thought it had been solicited as complete? Maybe I misunderstood. It and KRAZY & IGNATZ 1937-1938 were the only volumes that caught my fancy this week. (Well, and that awesome James Bama cover on ILLUSTRATION MAGAZINE #16, but that's not a trade, is it?)

MANGA FIX: I have a pick, but I don't really have my thoughts collected about it and it's not anything recent. Let me get back to you next week on this one.

Tomorrow: SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT PILGRIM! SCOTT PILGRIM! Or, alternatively, Friday. But more likely than not, tomorrow.

52 week 1 (via Hibbs) & shipping this week

52 WEEK 1: Well, I'll be the odd man out on this one. Perhaps I'm just able to compartmentalize my thinking a little more than Jeff or Graeme, but (except for the first two pages, where they kind of force the point) I was able to divorce my brain from INFINITE CRISIS pretty easily and look at this comic on its own merits. The first thing I like was the "re-compressed" story-telling -- there's a lot of characters in here, and a lot of things going on, and I thought this was agreeably dense.

I also liked the "heroic structure" -- we have 2 characters that have bottomed out (Montoya, Ralph), a hero who lost his way (Booster), an anti-hero (Black Adam), an unalloyed hero (Steel... heh, unalloyed), and a question mark (The Question) -- this is a lot of potentially juicy character arcs as each comes to "Heroism" from a different place.

That 52 appears to be more about character than event is, to me, the real selling point of the book, and, while, sure, it is a 52 week "event", I think this may be a balm for "event storytelling" if they keep this kind of character-driven focus.

I'll happily stipulate that this isn't a comic for the ages -- it probably won't win any Eisners (though I can see it being nominated for Covers, or, possibly, publication design), but as a reason to come into the comic book store each week for the next year, well, it seemed like a worthy start to me.

If there are problems, they come down to continuity ("How/why did he..."), some waste (those first two pages would have been better with a little exposition, I think), and a better "cliffhanger" (the issue kinda just stopped), but, all things considered, and not being a cynical bastard for just one minute, I'll go with a tentative (though lowish) GOOD for this first issue.

Here's what's shipping this week:

100 BULLETS #72 2000 AD #1484 2000 AD #1485 52 WEEK #2 A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #34 (A) ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THEBOY WONDER #4 ANGEL SCRIPTBOOK #3 ANNIHILATION NOVA #2 (OF 4) AQUAMAN SWORD OF ATLANTIS #42 BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #205 BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #4 (OF 4) BETTY & VERONICA SPECTACULAR #74 BITE CLUB VAMPIRE CRIME UNIT #2 (OF 5) BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #113 BOMB QUEEN #4 (OF 4) CAPTAIN AMERICA #18 CONAN #28 CYBERFORCE #3 DMZ #7 DONALD DUCK AND FRIENDS #340 DORK TOWER #33 FALLEN ANGEL IDW #5 (OF 5) FEAR AGENT #4 FELL #5 GODLAND #10 GREEN ARROW #62 HAUNT OF HORROR EDGAR ALLAN POE #1 (OF 3) JACK STAFF #10 JEREMIAH HARM #3 JUGHEAD #173 MAJESTIC #17 MAN-BAT #2 (OF 5) MANHUNTER #22 MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #1 MARVEL LEGACY 1970S HANDBOOK MICKEY MOUSE AND FRIENDS #289 MOON KNIGHT #2 MS MARVEL #3 NEW MANGAVERSE #5 (OF 5) RED SONJA CLAW DEVILS HANDS #3 (OF 4) RETRO ROCKET #2 (OF 4) REX MUNDI #18 ROBIN #150 SCOOBY DOO #108 SGT ROCK THE PROPHECY #5 (OF 6) SHADOWPACT #1 SIMPSONS COMICS #118 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #162 STAR WARS REBELLION #2 SUPERMAN BATMAN #25 TALENT #1 (OF 4) TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #11 TRANSFORMERS GENERATIONS (IDW) #3 ULTIMATE X-MEN #70 WOLVERINE ORIGINS #2 WONDERLAND #1 X-MEN #186 X-MEN FAIRY TALES #1 (OF 4)

Books / Mags / Stuff ANIMATION MAGAZINE JUNE 2006 #161 BACK ISSUE #16 BEAR VOL 2 DEMONS TP BLACK PANTHER BAD MUTHA TP BLURRED VISION VOL 1 GN CAPTAIN AMERICA WINTER SOLDIER VOL 2 PREMIERE HC CASTLE WAITING HC COMIC CREATORS ON X MEN SC CONAN VOL 3 TOWER OF THE ELEPHANT & STORIES HC FAMILY GUY VOL 1 GN (OF 3) FORTEAN TIMES #210 FRANK MILLERS SIN CITY LIBRARY II HC HOTWIRE COMIX AND CAPERS GN ILLUSTRATION MAGAZINE #16 JUXTAPOZ JUNE 2006 VOL 14 #6 KRAZY & IGNATZ 1937-1938 SHIFTING SANDS DUSTS CHEEK POWDERED LEES TOY REVIEW APR 2006 #163 PHANTOM LEGACY GN VIDEO WATCHDOG JAN 2006 #125 WALT DISNEYS VACATION PARADE #3 WAR FIX HC WINSOR MCCAY VOL 7 EARLY WORKS WOLVERINE CLASSIC VOL 3 TP X-FILES VOL 3 TP X-MEN FIRESTAR DIGEST TP X-MEN POSTER BOOK Y THE LAST MAN VOL 7 PAPER DOLLS TP

This week's ASSHAT is a tie -- either JACK STAFF #10, which should have arrived in, uh, September? Or the JUST-less-late,-but-FAR-worse-because-it-missed-Christmas of the SIN CITY LIBRARY v2 boxed set. Fuck, that's a REPRINT, too!

What did you think?

-B

Crab & Crab Again: Jeff's Reviews of 05/10 Books...

Yeah, sorry, I just don't know what it is, but I haven't been too crazy with the comic book love lately and I don't know why that it is. Part of it is probably "kid in the candy store" syndrome. By the time Hibbs came in yesterday (around 2:00), I'd already read all the new books I'd wanted, and even thought there was some pretty decent stuff, yet when he asked me about the week's books, I was all.... "Meh."

Two things that aren't meh: Guitar Hero, which generous reader and snark king Mojo was kind enough to lend to me, and Wheeler's awesome list of Marvel's 50 Best Characters (link cribbed from Spurge). The former is a game for the PS2 which lets a rhythm-impaired ninny like myself slink around the living room mangling "Smoke on the Water" and "Ziggy Stardust" on a guitar-sized controller (to the almost-exquisite looks of horror from my wife). The latter is a palliative to my mid-season blahs about superhero books, caputuring the grandeur and the goofiness in exactly the right doses, e.g.:

46. Swarm, Fritz von Meyer Created by Bill Mantlo and John Byrne. Swarm has appeared in comics only a scant handful of times, yet he has massive cult appeal. To understand why, there's just one thing you need to know about Swarm: He's a Nazi made of radioactive bees. Shakespeare only wishes he'd come up with stuff this good.

Ahhh, that hits the spot, doesn't it? (His entries on Beta Ray Bill, The Sub-Mariner and Doctor Stranger are even better.)

As for the books:

52 WEEK #1: After the face-plant of Infinite Crisis #7, I lost some enthusiasm for it. Contrary to what any marketing plan on Earth would tell you, I just kinda wanted a month or something before the next mega-event, but the DCU has reached Ultra-Theme-Park mode, where there's no lines because all the rides run together, and if you need to barf, just lean wayyy out of the car to avoid splashing your fellow riders and pray you don't get your skull stove in.

But I picked this book up with at least a little optimism and regretted putting it down with slightly less. For one thing, two of the main characters seem very, very different from how I remember them--last time I saw Ralph at the end of Identity Crisis, he had patched up his life (in admittedly a potentially psychopathic way) by continuing his good-natured chatty relationship with his dead wife, and the last time I saw Booster Gold (somewhere in IC) he'd gotten serious when his best friend died and managed to use his information of the future to help win some crucial battles. Here in issue #1 of 52, Ralph's a suicidal wreck (because he also lost his house?) and Booster's back to the role of happy-go-lucky shill, having to be reminded to shed a tear for everyone's losses even though, again, he lost his closest friend at the start of all the craziness.

I mean, on the one hand, I don't really care--I thought the ending with Ralph in Identity Crisis was, like the ending of The Killing Joke, so off-note as to be geniunely disturbing, and selfish boob Booster is more interesting and provides a stronger narrrative thrust to this issue than newly serious Booster would have--but on the other hand, isn't the point of daisy-chaining all these events together to make you feel like the same set of people are undergoing a continuing set of events and changes?

There were things I liked, mind you--the Montoya and Black Adam scenes, while really nothing new, were okay, and then there's the Question who I'm always glad to see (even though I should probably know better by now)--and I honestly do appreciate the amibition of the whole idea, but if this is as good as it's going to get (assuming the writers and artists had the most lead time on the first issue than they will on the subsequent ones) I can't imagine I'm going to be sitting here a year from now feeling like I really got my hundred-plus bucks worth.

But I could be wrong. I really, really hope so. Eh.

ANNIHILATION SUPER SKRULL #2: Seems less like a comic book and more like a folded and stapled antibody squirted out of an internal organ of Marvel Comics somewhere: designed to attack anyone looking for decent art, writing, and/or a title character/concept that makes even a little bit of sense, this book will help innoculate our industry from those pesky civilians with it insular Awfulness.

CABLE DEADPOOL #28: Because he did so much work for Marvel in the early '90s, I associate Fabian Nicieza's work with mindless dreck, but it's been clear for a while my bias is pretty much utterly wrong--this issue has some actual insights about the nature of governments and revolutions that, while far from revelatory, make it stand out from the majority of the superhero work out there and reminds me of the stuff Marvel used to turn out at its best: material with some actual thoughts about the world going on between the fight scenes and the punchlines. Good.

EX MACHINA #20: BKV has crafted a perfect niche for himself by telling stories that excel at really keen little touches--like a bit of historical research, or clever dialogue, or this issue's bit about the slave/master relationship between a radio bomb and the transmitter--to the point where the reader doesn't sweat the small stuff like plot or the occasionally huge gap between intention and effect. (Did any reader anywhere have any attachment whatsoever to Journal? And if so, how?) Good, but in that way that really charming people can be, in that they don't really need to do much to win you over.

FATE OF THE ARTIST SC: Really should be reviewed in the trade section, but since First Second launched all six titles on the same weekend (and then nothing for another six months! Just like a real comic book company! Woot!) and Graeme's review said everything I would've said (and, of course, said it better) I might as well hit it here so I can review another First Second book in the Trade section.

Fate Of The Artist is not only far and away the release of the week but at this point in time, it's the release of the year, and, I think, the best book Campbell's released in about a decade. When I first read the review copy a few months back, the book struck me as ineffably sad (although streaked through with rueful humor) as the artist prepares himself for his inevitable fate by ruminating on artists dead and forgotten, or remembered but not for their work, all while recounting his family's exasperated recollections of his absent-minded, pointlessly specific, self-amused artistic ways. I thought the book full of regrets that were twisted about, like ballon animals, in an effort to amuse.

But rereading the book yesterday, what caught me was how deeply funny it was, starting with the hilariously bold conceit of composing a self-elegy--Lycidas as written by...Lycidas!--and moving on through all the funny anecdotes, pastiche comic strips, that damn dog Monty, etc. Through all of it, there's an appreciation of how funny life can be, even at its most frustrated and unfulfilled, and that appreciation is infectious, giving the work not only the most difficult of emotional victories, a love of life that feels genuine yet unsentimental, but also something unique--a comforting sense of dread. Finishing The Fate of The Artist, I realized that if I was lucky, I would get to deal with sorrows, regrets, fears, fights and alienation, and if I was smart, I'd look forward to all of it.

As I said, it's the release of the week and quite possibly the year. Excellent work, and highly recommended.

FIRESTORM THE NUCLEAR MAN #25: I was 98% Marvel fanboy until sometime in the very early '80s, so I've never really given two poops about Firestorm (just as, I would bet someone who was 98% DC fanboy during that time could barely give half a poop about Nova). So I found this issue OK, albeit scientifically wonky. But the scene where Jason is able to briefly communicate with Dr. Stein makes me think this book is being sold to fans of the charcter with the rather depressing carrot of "Just keep reading and we promise we'll give you the character you want to read about! Someday! Maybe!"

MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR #12: I was reading this book when Hibbs came in and he said, "You know, looking at that cover, I knew you'd beeline right for it." And it's true: The Human Torch chasing a flying hot rod driven by Dr. Doom? How could I pass it up? But also, after heaping praise of Jeff Parker's work in the Marvel Romance Redux books, I was acting like a stupid snobby fanboy bonehead for not checking out his all-ages work.

And while not as great as the cover (mainly because it's a Doombot piloting the flying hot rod, not Dr. Doom himself), "Doom, Where's My Car?" is funnier and more enjoyable than all of the JMS issues of FF I've read so far. And it's got the Thing punching things out with a giant golden gorilla, which is an in-joke, the terminally old-school readers like myself can enjoy. Good and I'm interested in checking future issues of this out (and maybe even a digest if Parker has stories in those, too).

NIGHTWING #120: It's the hat trick of Crap: every issue, against all odds, is even worse than the last. This issue has Nightwing losing his shit and fighting with Jason Todd on the catwalk (a phrase which one can't even type without hearing that awful Right Said Fred song in one's brain--perhaps a deliberate bit of meme warfare on Jones' part to avoid bad reviews being written) which the entire fashion industry of New York City loves and blah, blah, blah. A comic so bad I think I actually blacked out before I finished reading it--or else it was so dull I can't remember. Anyway, impressively hideous work here, the type of stuff that makes you never want to look at a title again, no matter who's working on it. Ick.

SUPERMAN #652: A little pat--Lois's speech when she learns Clark's regained his powers was so flat and rote it made me think of the stuff you read on the back on cough medicine bottles--but the fight scene had a nice sense of tension and forethought to it. It's not great but it is Good, and I hope it can keep some zing to it now that things are getting back to "normal."

X-MEN DEADLY GENESIS #6: What can I tell ya? I liked it--it managed to push my old X-Men fanboy buttons solidly enough that I'm looking forward to the team taking on Uncanny--even though it had at least one pointless death too many for my tastes (apart from removing an annoying stereotype, why was it necessary for Vulcan to kill Banshee, exactly?). Still, Good.

WOLFSKIN #1: Didn't really pickle my pig's feet. It looks like Ellis walked into it with the question, "What would happen if you crafted a typical barbarian fantasy but turned the genre's inherent xenophobia on its head?" and walked out with the answer, "FOR IMMEDIATE DEPOSIT." The Ryp art looks lovely, as usual, although kinda strange, as if the colorist tried to keep the art from flattening out by wiping out some of the penlines. Eh.

PICK OF THE WEEK: See, why am I so demoralized? A lot of Good ratings this week and everything. I'll go with X-MEN DEADLY GENESIS #6 because I was expecting lameness from the mini and I was pleasantly wrong.

PICK OF THE WEAK: NIGHTWING #120, as Bruce Jones continues his campaign of making me regret I ever liked his work.

TRADE PICK: Well, duh, FATE OF THE ARTIST. But I also read Joann Sfar's VAMPIRE LOVES and thought it was really funny and sweet look at the lovelifes (lovelives?) of callow phatasmagorical youth--imagine Charles Addams drawing a Geoffrey Brown book and you're halfway there--and a great purchase that's also worth your time and coin.

MANGA FIX: Monster, Vol. 2 does a truly impressive job of letting the air out of the premises's tires as nearly everything I liked about the first volume--the hospital politics, the creepy cause and effect between Doc Tenma's goodness and the gruesome murders, the ambiguity of the killer's identity--gets tossed aside in favor of what I'm dreading is a Fugitive-Meets-The-Silence-of-the-Lambs approach as Doc Tenma takes it on the lam to chase the serial killer he feels responsible for. Will the next fifteen volumes merely be Tenma running into emotionally damaged people and helping them learn how to love life again while chased at every turn by Inspector Lunge and chasing Johan? Christ, I sure hope not: growing up in the '70s all but burned that formula into my forebrain!

That said? Possibly because I enjoy looking at Urasawa's drawings of jowly old men almost as much as Urasawa enjoys drawing them, I still liked this. But I can only hope that Urasawa throws something into Volume 3 that'll make up for all the squandered potential.

Speaking of squandered potential, I thought Iron Wok Jan had become ultra-formulaic but the latest volume (#18) really spices things up with Jan and the gang dealing with a Chinese cooking tong and its ultra-mysterious leader. The art seems to have lost a lot of its nuance (certainly the reproduction has) but, weirdly, I think it lends makes the storytelling weirdly compelling. (In some places, it almost looks like Don Simpson is ghosting the art, and there's some really crude zipatone effects that are really eye-catching. And I think at one point somebody's breasts have motion blur, which was pretty funny.) Plus, I learned that eel is never served as sashimi because its blood is poisonous. In short, Iron Wok Jan #18 is still ultra-formulaic, but it's one step closer to being ultra-fun again and I, in my crabby, crabby way, couldn't be happier.

And you?

51 Weeks To Get Better: Graeme reviews that 52 book no-one's talking about.

By now, everyone knows the pitch for 52, right? It’s a world without Superman, a world without Batman, a world without Wonder Woman… but not a world without heroes. But here’s something else that it’s a world without: Introductions. This might be somewhere where my inner DC fanboy counts against me, but I felt as if all of the main characters in this issue, with the exceptions of Booster Gold and Black Adam, didn’t get anything close to a proper introduction here, being reduced to stock roles (Steel is the responsible hero, Montoya the self-destructive ex-cop, Ralph Dibny the suicidal grieving widower) with vague dialogue that alludes to past storylines and series without properly explaining them – This might be something that’s going to be dealt with in later issues, and with a weekly schedule and 52 issues to do it in, that’s definitely a viable option for the writers – giving the book, for me, a feeling of inaccessibility for anyone who hasn’t read Gotham Cental, Identity Crisis and Infinite Crisis. Without those books, I feel as if certain scenes would feel flat and uninvolving, but I say that as someone who has read those books, so what do I know? As someone who has read those books, then: I’m not convinced. On the first read through, it seemed pretty underwhelming (and also shorter than the average book – it’s not, however, I checked); I’m not sure what I was expecting from this first issue, but it wasn’t the slow burn beginning that this provided for the most part. On second (and third) readings, the relatively quiet start makes more sense, as the characters are presumably dealing with the apparent end of the world that Infinite Crisis was, and the odd pacing doesn’t annoy so much. The multiple author model, which works well in a couple of places – there are some nice scene transitions in an otherwise confusing opening (Why is Renee in the same bar in the same clothes for three days running? When some guy there makes a comment about “If the roads are open,” does that mean she’s been trapped there by something? Has Ralph really been going back to the ruins of his house for cell phone calls about missing superheroes for three days straight?) – and allows for the fun guessing game of who wrote what (My guess: Grant Morrison definitely did the main Booster Gold scenes, or else someone else can do very good fake Grant dialogue. Mark Waid’s doing Ralph Dibny. Greg Rucka is handling Montoya, and Geoff Johns is doing Steel and Black Adam, at least in this issue), but it felt as if it was written by committee. I enjoyed the Booster Gold scenes a lot – Grant (or whoever is writing those scenes this issue) manages to make the character cynical and a schmuck yet somehow someone fun, and his panic upon realizing that he really doesn’t know what the future holds gives him an interesting plot to follow for the next year or so. It’s just that… well, Booster’s scenes are more or less all of the meat in the issue, everything else either being vague hints of what’s to come (Being an Elongated Man fan, the potential Ralph Dibny mystery interests me, although the solicits for upcoming issues has me very, very nervous for what’s coming up there) or apparent generic filler (Most of the Steel scenes, which I’m guessing are going to amount to something more than “It’s tough to be a hero. I’m a hero. I’m a good man. It’s tough” later on at some point).

Even within those other scenes, there were too many plot strands that didn’t tie together well – the Black Adam scene in particular stood out as having nothing to do with anything else, although the Montoya scenes also felt as if they’d come from a different book – and lessened what could’ve been a stronger issue by diluting the focus on the immediate aftermath of Infinite Crisis within the superhero community that the Booster, Steel and Ralph scenes had. It wouldn’t have killed anyone to have pushed the start of some of the plots out to the second or third week in order to have had a more coherent first issue, surely?

(Then again, I’m also of the opinion that the two page silent opening scenes, taking a visual cue from the final pages of all of the last pre-One Year Later issues of the DCU books, was a waste of space that could’ve been better spent on some kind of recap for new readers bringing them up to speed on the cast and context of the series, so obviously I’m on a different train of thought from DC Editorial here…)

Visually, Joe Bennett thankfully provides stronger pencils here than he did in last week’s Infinite Crisis #7, even if he only achieves something that’s pleasant but unspectacular to look at. It would’ve been interesting to see what an artist with a stronger personal style could’ve done with the big superhero memorial service at the end of the issue, for example, but I think there’s a bar being set here: Workmanlike but reliable means deadlines getting hit and that’s what this series is going to be all about.

As with last week’s Civil War, there’s an editorial at the back of the book where the editorial head honcho pats himself on the back about how important and groundbreaking this new book is; in this case, Dan Didio calls 52 “the monumental DC Comics series that redefined what readers would and should expect from comics,” which is the kind of statement that he might regret making 52 weeks from now, or even sooner if ship dates start being missed on a regular basis. Still, whether he’s right or wrong is a question that can only be answered at this time next year. This time this year, all I know is that 52’s first week is pretty much Eh when considered out of context of all the hype, and kind of Crap when you sit it next to what we’ve been told it was for the last few months. Either way, it’s a missed opportunity to catch new readers with a new method and frequency of mainstream superhero comics, and even if things do get better in later issues, how many people will want to start a series on Week Twelve?

(I now fully expect Hibbs to have loved this book, just to be make me look grumpier than ever…)

Next week: Hopefully more things come out that I want to review. This week, if I can find the time to write it up, reviews of all of the other First Second books that came out this week, because even though Eddie Campell’s Fate of The Artist is both my Pick of The Week and Trade of The Week, the other books are worth looking through as well...

INFINITE CRISIS #7, a review

INFINITE CRISIS #7: Otherwise known as: The Issue That Outstayed It's Welcome. I read IC #7, and thought, "Holy cow, that was bad!" That didn't seem like it could be right, so an hour later, I read it again. Same thing. Then I decided to read #1-6 again, to see where it went off the rails -- and, no, I liked those issues to greater or lesser extents. And it made me understand I didn't like #7 because the main story should have STOPPED at the end of #6, leaving this just for wrapup and explanation.

In some ways this issue is perfectly encapsulated by the double page spread on pages 2 & 3 -- everyone is sort of just standing around and posing, heroes and villains all mixed together with no difference between which one is who and why or what they're doing. That sketchy background, looking half-finished, and hastily colored, as if someone in production said, "FedEx is about to leave the lobby, I don't care if it's finished, we have to ship it NOW!" That rushed, confusing, muddled feeling is how I felt about this comic.

I understand that some of the thrill of the super-hero comic is in the big, epic battle -- witness the scene in IDENTITY CRISIS where Deathstroke takes on the entire JLA -- but the corollary to that is that you need to be able to tell what's going on! Between pages where hard-to-identify characters maim other hard-to-identify characters and the hugely missed opportunities (I winced when Batman confronts Deathstroke, the scene cuts away, then cuts back to Batman's "Hah, I won!" without showing a fight we might have all actually wanted to see; or how about the cover's promise of Robin vs Bizarro?) this was absolutely unsatisfying on the action score.

Reading #7 after immediately reading #1-6, the whole Every Villain Hits Metropolis thing is completely out of left field -- it makes no sense in the context of the story presented to you unless you also read the VILLIANS UNITED special. I really resent that as both a reader and a retailer: it isn't playing fair with the audience.

It is also used to very poor effect, and lots of illogic -- like on the 2-3 spread where you see Sivana as one of the combatants. A 70-year old man whose greatest power is to say "heh, heh, heh"? Yeah, he'll last 6 seconds against Aquaman. Or how about the big money shot with Doomsday and the Supermen? Where'd Doomsday COME from? Sure, they busted him out of his cell at Riker's, right?

But if there's a core single problem with this issue, it's Superboy Prime. Simply put, he's not an interesting enough antagonist to have him come back, Jason Vorhees-style, again and again. His arc through the first six went well enough, but he too should have perished when the tower was destroyed last issue (or, rather, he probably should never have come out of the Speed Force in the first place)

Speaking of that, WTF on the whole Speed Force thing? Up until now, it hasn't been portrayed as a "place" that someone could be "imprisoned", nor as one where time "passes" -- but Bart Allen ages to the point where people mistake him for Wally, and Superboy Prime isn't now "Superman Prime"?

I also really could have done without the gory beating to death of the GA Superman. It's not so much about the action (though, given that "Earth Prime" was originally meant to be OUR earth, which makes Superboy Prime US, beating to death the Golden Age is probably an interesting [if unintended] metaphor for comics today), as the DEPICTION of that action. Why do there have to be red red blood splatters everywhere? Why do, for that matter, do we have to see the effect of the acid on Alexander Luthor's face? It's unnecessary, and I think it's a real mistake that you really shouldn't hand this series to, say, an eight year old. Superhero comics are supposed to be for kids, too!

A significant part of the ultimate failure or success of this book is wrapped around the "Big 3" and how their arcs parse. We've a mixed report in that case. The good news is that Batman's arc works really well, and taken as a whole through the 7 issues was the one shining spot of this series, breaking him down as the High Asshat of the DCU to someone who is going to wrestle his demons with his friend's help.

For Superman, I'm a little iffy. The charge leveled at him was "inaction", of not being inspiring, and so on. Except, that charge doesn't really stick in the first place so any purported change in the character is muted at best.

Finally, Wonder Woman's arc is a complete mess. In issue #1 she's apparently going to kill Mongul... well, just cuz, I guess. But that's a completely different circumstance than the killing of Max Lord - that was staged in such a way as to have been the right thing to do -- she didn't have any choice, and she didn't seem to relish it, or be in any way anything other than pragmatic about it. No, what's at issue here is her public perception of her actions. I mean, forgive me if I'm wrong, but isn't she a fugitive from international justice? As well as no longer an Ambassador, since her nation is no more? We were shown that the public seems to fear and hate her, yet at the end of #7 no one is talking about any of this, and lalalalala, she's just blithely hanging around the docks with Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne, in front of the entire crew of Bruce's steamer. Mm.

Her "It's not worth it" rings utterly false as the epiphany for her -- of course one doesn't slaughter a helpless and defeated opponent; but that was never her issue in the first place. Regardless of anything else that happens, and whether the friendship can "heal", I made my disbelief saving throw that Clark and Bruce wouldn't insist Diana immediately deal with the charges, and not go off and "find herself".

I also kinda have a problem with the "new earth" concept -- first off the original CRISIS showed how well it works to retroactively change backstories in an interconnected universe, and we've had 20 years building a new continuity, and now it's in question again? Ugh. I also find this problematic because it is accompanied with the One Year Jump, leaving me felling hit at both sides. I sure hope 52 is really good.

For the most part, INFINITE CRISIS held up to what it was meant to be -- a big, 'splody universe-spanning thingy. Read as a chunk, I thought #1-6 were a decent example of that kind of a story. Overall, I'd probably give the first six a very high OK, maybe reaching a low GOOD at points. But, ugh, #7 was AWFUL, sorry.

Maybe more later....

-B

Never underestimate the lure of bitching pointlessly: Graeme's review of two books from 5/3.

I really should be outside and enjoying the sunshine, but there’s so much bile in my heart and two big books to write about, this week… CIVIL WAR #1: I admit it, I think I may be genetically disposed to disliking this book – The pre-release hype advertising it as something “important” beyond a superhero crossover, the subtitle “A Marvel Comics Event In Seven Parts”, my general dislike for Mark Millar’s writing… the idea of me enjoying this was somewhat of a distant hope. And yet, somehow, it still feels like a letdown.

The basic idea behind the series – Regular Americans turn on superheroes after a disaster, and force government to draft legislation requiring heroes to become government agents or else – is sound enough, but the execution doesn’t work for me in this issue. Part of it may have to do with the fact that there are no surprises here; not only has the pre-release publicity told us everything that happens here (including who’s leading the two opposing “sides”, making the last page reveal especially flat), but the first few pages of the book (one of the two action sequences, and arguably the most important pages in the first issue) have seen print in Wizard, Marvel Previews and New Avengers : Illuminati already. How could anything have any real impact with that amount of information available before it appeared? But even if I’d known nothing about the series, there would still be all of my usual problems with Millar’s writing…

For one thing, Millar has this tendency to write stories that only really work if you accept that everyone involved is a bit of a dick. That’s the case here – no-one seems incredibly sympathetic, especially Captain America and Iron Man in the aftermath of the destruction of Stamford. Instead of being horrified by the disaster itself, they’re horrified by what they see as a failure in the New Warriors’ judgement: “The FEMA chief said there could be eight or nine hundred casulaties all dead for a stupid TV reality show.” “They should have called us, Cap. Speedball knew the New Warriors were out of their league.” (Later on, Tony Stark repeats this view of the accident being less an accident than a failure of judgement, telling the greiving mother of one of the dead, “The New Warriors’ recklessness had nothing to do with me.” Mind you, he was just at a funeral where the priest shared his viewpoint: “…And so we ask you, Lord, for Your mercy. Not only for the souls of the children who perished, but for the super-people whose carelessness caused this tragedy.” Apparently, the idea that this was all a terrible accident and that the (dead) New Warriors aren’t to blame for someone else blowing up hundreds of kids is an entirely alien one to everyone in this series. At no point does anyone really attempt to blame the bad guy who actually did the blowing up, interestingly enough.) There are other bits of characterisation that just seem incredibly odd and callous, as well – Why does the Invisible Woman say “The secret identity thing isn’t such a big deal. The Fantastic Four have been public since the very beginning, and it’s never been a serious concern” when, a page earlier, we’re told that her brother is in the hospital as a result of being attacked because his identity was publicly known? Doesn’t she consider that a serious concern? – and the feeling throughout the whole thing is very much that the characters are only acting that way at any given moment to serve the purpose of the plot.

Of course, if Millar’s dialogue was any better, then perhaps the characters wouldn’t seem to be so obviously plot pawns. More than any other big name writer around these days with the potential exception of Bendis, Millar’s dialogue relies on a number of tricks and tics, and those come into play a lot in this first issue (He uses a lot of Scottishisms, which I always find amusing; there’s always at least one character who’ll call another character “big man” in a Millar book at one point). The worst examples are the conversation between Captain America and SHIELD director Maria Hill, with both characters lapsing into generic-Millar-tough-speak and each calling a team of soldiers “boys” within four panels, and the fact that two different characters refer to the destruction of Stamford as “the straw that broke the camels back” because, apparently, there are no other metaphors available to show how important it is in the Marvel Universe.

Not all of the blame can be laid at Mark Millar’s feet, of course; for a script that apparently went through eight drafts, you’d have hoped that editor Tom Brevoort would’ve caught some of the problematic dialogue, or even that there are more than 23 heroes at the Baxter Building despite the dialogue that states that number. The bad feeling that I got from the weak story wasn’t helped by Joe Quesada’s two page hypetastic editorial at the back of the book (“Here at MARVEL, we work very hard to make sure that ALL of our blockbuster events are NEW-reader-accessible, and CIVIL WAR is no exception.” That’s why I’m listing the trade paperbacks you should buy to get introduced to the main characters!), or the four page “There are our crossovers” advert afterwards.

It’s not all bad, of course; Steve McNiven and Dexter Vines art is pretty interesting, especially at points where facial expressions get distorted as if everything is grand opera or silent cinema, and Morry Hollowell’s coloring is pretty great. It’s just mostly bad. Crap.

INFINITE CRISIS #7: Meanwhile, the DC Comics Event in Seven Parts reaches its conclusion, and… it’s not so good. For one thing, I’m glad that it made its (second) shipping date and all, but with eleven artists credited, it’s the weakest issue of the series in terms of visuals, especially Joe Bennett’s pages – that final double page spread of the One Year Later DC Universe has some very, very poor anatomy going on – which make me very nervous about what 52 is going to look like. But, as with the rest of the series, this is Geoff Johns’ baby, and his writing is what dooms this final issue. There’s simply too much going on here, and not enough space for everything to be explained or make sense. When did Alex Luthor come up with this plan B? And, for that matter, how did he and Superboy get to Metropolis from whatever Pole they were at before without anyone noticing? What happened to Doomsday? Continuity gets revised and it only gets a couple of lines? And Alex Luthor’s fate… What was that all about? I mean, okay, I get that it fits in with Superboy’s line from the start of the book about still being unable to tell the heroes and villains apart, and then Batman and Wonder Woman’s “Killing? Hey, heroes don’t dig that!” thing, but still… Why did it have to be the Joker? Wouldn’t it have made more sense, plotwise, for it just to be Lex Luthor? Putting the Joker in, especially with that crappy “You didn’t let the Joker play” line, feels like someone said “Hey, Geoff, can you make sure the Joker’s somewhere in the last issue? The kids love that Joker.”

All of that said, I liked something about this final issue. I liked the resolution of Batman’s midlife crisis (and that it was, essentially, “Okay, I’ll use a gun, y’bastard! Oh, no… wait… Aw, shit.”), and the Supermen/Superboy showdown was fun, as was the fact that Superboy Prime has become the new insane scheming badguy of the DCU, plotting his comeback (It never ends… It is an Infinite Crisis!). Splitting everything that happened here into two issues – or adding some more pages to this one – would’ve helped out here a lot, but there’s about as much good as there is bad about this issue, and overall, it’s been a fun series. But then, I’m a DC Fanboy, so my opinion may be more than a little bit skewed. Eh bordering on Okay, depending on how much I think about the rest of the series…

What with only reviewing two books this week, PICK OF THE WEEK and PICK OF THE WEAK should be kind of obvious… TRADE OF THE WEEK, however, would be Essential Classic X-Men volume 2, which was due out this week (I don’t think I saw it in the store, but I wasn’t really looking). Some of the first comics I ever read, back when Marvel UK had a two color (Black and blue) reprint book called “The Original X-Men,” you know…

Free Comic Books! I have read! For your education! Before you pick them up! Tomorrow! On Free Comic Book Day!

So, yeah, X-MEN / RUNAWAYS? It’s kind of Eh, which is both surprising and depressing. I’m a big fan of Brian K. Vaughan normally, but due to stagefright, deadline or editorial edict, he somehow managed to write a lead story for this book that’s devoid of any of his usual wit or even anything resembling an interesting plot: The Runaways meet the X-Men, they fight, and then they don’t. The end. It’s a waste of a lot of good characters and a potentially interesting situation, not to mention Skottie Young’s cartoony art. The other features in the book – a new Franklin Richards strip, a preview of the new Marvel Adventures: The Avengers book, and a recap of Ultimate Spider-Man to date – feel pretty much like the filler that they are. DC, meanwhile, fields two free books, both reprints: SUPERMAN / BATMAN #1 is, well, it’s Superman/Batman, which means that Jeph Loeb does the writing equivalent of speaking very loudly as if you are stupid while Ed McGuinness provides bouncy bright pop superhero art. It’s fun, and has origin-recap and easy-to-understand-plot action, but hardly essential (S/B didn’t hit its “What the fuck” stride until the second issue, when time-travelling Supermen tried to kill Batman with the Batmobile from the ‘60s TV show). JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #1 reads like a weak episode of the TV show, or alternately, a fill-in from a ‘70s issue of JLA; the plot is servicable, but lacks the humor or random guest-stars of the cartoon. S/B: Good, JLU: Okay, but one year I would love to DC put out something great as their free book. Imagine if they’d put together a bumper edition of Grant Morrison’s JLA Classified arc, for example… You’d still get the McGuinness art from S/B, but it’d be accompanied by crazy dumb action, all of the main DCU characters, and a lead into Seven Soldiers.

AMELIA RULES!: FUNNY STORY: I’ve never read any of this series before, but it’s well-done for what it is. Aimed at what used to be called tweenagers back when I was young, it manages to walk the fine line between avoiding patronizing its readers and avoiding depressing them. There are some fun running jokes and visual gags, but it’s not an overly comedic book – Imagine Gilmore Girls for kids, and you’re kind of there. Good.

ARCHIE’S 65TH ANNIVERSARY BASH: The Archie books are kind of reviewproof, and this one more than most, because there’s no real story. Archie gets upset about the prospect of moving, wanders around meeting the star of almost every other Archie title, cheers up upon discovering that he’s not moving after all, and then celebrates the 65th anniversary of his comic book. That last part is kind of weird; Archie starts staring at the reader and saying “What?! Our comics have been around for 65 years?!” in some uncomfortable fourth wall breaking move that almost freaked me out as much as some of the reader art at the back of the book. Eh, because, you know, what else can I say? It’s an Archie book.

BLUFF & TALES FROM A FORGOTTEN PLANET: Narwain preview two of their upcoming books in this glossy special that makes you… not exactly want to pick up those upcoming books. Bluff is the more successful of the two, a story of a stray dog and his flea friend trying to come to terms with a stereotypical American family as seen by Japanese creators Giovanni Masi and Yoshiko Watanabe. There isn’t an original joke in it, nor really any funny ones, but at least it’s not as bad as The Stellar Losers, the preview strip from Tales From A Forgotten Planet, which is just not good at all. You know that Sci-Fi show Tripping The Rift? The really appallingly unfunny one? Stellar Losers is much, much worse. Crap.

BONGO COMICS FREE-FOR-ALL!: Yes, it’s all reprint, but it’s worth picking up for the first panel alone. Possibly the only comic that recognizes that Free Comic Book Day is all about people who are already reading comics – because, really, who else would want to go into a comic book store on a Saturday when the sun is shining? – this collection of comic-centric Simpsons strips ploughs a narrow field very deeply. Or something. I’m kind of tempted to pick up a Simpsons book that costs money now, which may mean that they’ve succeeded with their nefarious ploy. Bastards! Evil evil bastards who do Good comics!

DARK HORSE’S STAR WARS AND CONAN FREEBIE BOOK: And, no, that’s not the real title, but I didn’t want to write STAR WARS/CONAN for some reason. Anyway, the Star Wars strip, taking place during the last movie, handily ends with a post-modern moment where the main character reviews his own story: “Routine - - About what we expected.” Except, in this non-Clone War world, “routine” is replaced by “bland”. Being medically immune to the charms of Conan, I feel entirely unequipped to pass judgement on what seems like a run-of-the-mill barbarianarama, although the Paul Lee/Dave Stewart art combo is very pretty indeed. The very definition of Eh, for me, but I’m really not the target audience for this kind of thing.

FUNNY BOOK #2: I like to pretend that the real title of this book is the full version of what it says at the top of the front cover: “The Fantagraphics Funny Book For Mature Readers,” because, really, that’s much better. Not that there’s much else about this book that could be much better, because any collection of humor stuff by people like Jason, Michael Kupperman and Mark Martin for no money whatsoever may be close to perfect in the world of comics for no money whatsoever. Very Good, and the stand-out for me is R. Kikuo Johnson’s one pager, which makes me want to rush out and buy everything else he’s ever done. Guess I should’ve paid attention to all that Night Fisher hype, then.

FREE SCOTT PILGRIM: You know those things that you love with far too much love for your own mental health? This is one of those things for me – It has almost everything that I love about Scott Pilgrim, and he fights multiple Lindsay Lohans. Well, kind of. Anyway, what else could you want? Excellent, and thankfully the back-up strip premiering Mignola-meets-Yo-Momma book, Fearless Griggs, doesn’t let the side down. Kate thought it was all kind of stupid, but that can only be a good sign.

FUTURE SHOCK: Image takes the easy way out, showing four page previews of upcoming issues of ongoing Image books. Considering two of those books are Spawn and Shadowhawk, it should probably be avoided unless you want to feel the desire to swear off comics for the rest of your life. Crap, because, dude. Four page previews? Not even complete stories? Lazy.

GI JOE: SIGMA 6 #1: I remember when GI Joe was about people in the army, but it seems that “Sigma 6” means “Really really like the Centurions cartoon when I was a kid”. In terms of writing and art, it’s very Saturday morning cartoon, even down to the unfunny joke endings with the bad guys humiliated. Eh, but somewhere there’re probably a million GI Joe fans waiting to tell me why I’m wrong.

MR. JEAN: Drawn and Quarterly’s offering is a strange mix of French sophistication and Moomins. The excerpts of Mr. Jean are reminiscent of what would happen if you mixed early-Alec Eddie Campbell and Rian Hughes (which is to say: gentle stories bemused by the way people act in relationships with stylish, slightly-retro art), but the real gem of the book is Jean creators’ Dupuy and Berberian’s autobio work about creating Mr. Jean, excerpted from the upcoming Maybe Later graphic novel… Excellent stuff, and well worth a look. The Moomin strip, on the other hand, is very strange and nostalgic for me; I grew up with the Moomins on TV, and even then they were somewhat unsettling.

OWLY: I’ve already moaned to Brian, Jeff and Nora about how much I dislike Owly, so I won’t repeat myself here. It’s nothing to do with Owly itself; it’s well-done and those who get it really like it, but… It’s so twee it makes my toes curl. I kind of liked the first book, but by midway through the second, I was wanting Owly to finally crack and stop helping every single other animal that comes his way. It’s a cruel world out there, Owly! Wake up and smell the coffee, ya dumb owl! Stop smiling all the time and eat that damn worm like you know you want to! DOOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTT! Ahem. Okay, probably. I don’t know.

THE PREPOSTEROUS VOYAGES OF IRONHIDE TOM: The bastard son of a drunken sailor and a hurricane, Ironhide Tom is a stickman pirate with a penchant for exclamations like “Cowpies!” and “Nightsoil!” when he gets in misadventures. Which, apparently, happens a lot. It’s very stupid and very, very funny – Probably my favorite of all of the FCBD books this year. Excellent, and the source of a whole host of new cursewords.

TOKYOPOP SNEAKS: A nice little freebie trade, this one has the first chapter of three new OEL books that they’re putting out… which is kind of its downfall. The first two previews have exactly the same set-up (Kid in new school, doesn’t fit in) and stop before getting to what would presumably differentiate them from each other, giving the book a feeling of “Oh, Tokyopop has a generic house plot for new series” (The third preview, however, is for Sea Princess Azuri which unsurprisingly is about a Sea Princess and doesn’t have any new school horror whatsoever). Being a dirty Westerner, Alex DeCampi’s Kat and Mouse is the story that worked best for me, but even that felt uncertain and a bit forced – Definitely different from her Smoke series from IDW, so she should be applauded for her versatility, but not as good as Smoke, either. In terms of value for (no) money, however, it’s the best package. Good for the format, Okay for the content.

TRANSFORMERS: MORE PREVIEWS THAN MEET THE EYE: Somehow, something has gone so wrong with the world that there are four different Transformer series being previewed here, and yet each one reads like it’s been written by Chris Claremont’s robotic twin. I used to love the Transformers when I was a kid, and yet reading these previews is like trying to learn a foreign language by flipping through a French version of Ulysses. Eh, and I mean that in the sense of “Eh?”

VIPER COMICS PRESENTS #1: Josh Howard’s Dead@17 gets a movie-trailer-style preview (lots of disconnected images with a character’s vague narration) that fails to tell me anything about what it’s all actually about… Something of a running theme with a lot of the FCBD preview books this year, but personified by all four strips in here. Of the shorter previews, Museum of Terror and Emily Edison offer something resembling bemusement, and something called A Bit Haywire felt more than a little forced. I’m sure that if I was about ten years younger and had never seen Buffy (or almost any mainstream pop culture for that matter), I’d like it more, but for now? Eh.

There’s also a Wizard freebie, which is best avoided unless you have a ghoulish curiosity about why they’d reprint last year’s freebie which was itself a non-updated reprint of their favorite trade paperbacks from a few years prior… There are actually a lot of other books available, if your retailer – who doesn’t get them for free, and therefore may have to make some terrible Sophie’s Choice type decisions about what makes the cut and what doesn’t – has somehow managed to pull in everything put out for this year’s event. A full list is here, but that list I’ve just run down is already a pile of comics heavy enough to knock out any burglars who creep into your house in the middle of the night, and isn’t that why we all want free comics? Exactly.

Guest Review: UNAUTHORIZED AND PROUD OF IT

Not that I'm going to do this very often, (but I thought once was ok) here's a guest P/review of a new film, reviewed by Peter Wong, author of the "Lost in Pictopia" column that runs in ONOMATOPOEIA. A longer version will appear in the next issue of CEO. -B

UNAUTHORIZED AND PROUD OF IT: TODD LOREN'S ROCK 'N' ROLL COMICS--(D: Ilko Davidov)--Boy wunderkind Todd Loren created Revolutionary Comics as a medium for melding his love of both rock and roll and comic books. Yet what would have been in theory a dream marriage of disreputable cultures turned into a nightmare...and Loren and the Revolutionary Comics staff thrived on it. Davidov's documentary does a solid job of portraying how this nightmare was self-inflicted on the rock and roll side. With the exception of Mojo Nixon's and Alice Cooper's bits, passable talking head footage discusses how much research and respect the Revolutionary Comics crew brought to creating their unauthorized rock biographies. Well, maybe the New Kids On The Block can be excepted from that categorization.

Yet it mattered little when the music business suits perceived that Loren's comics denied them their rightful tithing. By contrast, the weaker comics industry portions of "Unauthorized" never fully convey why Loren became a comics industry pariah. Loren's financial and emotional manipulation of his talent probably formed part of his bad reputation. But what were the other causes: egotism, homophobia, or something else? The film's Revolutionary Comics samples will not enhance Loren's work. Despite the frequent video animation and manipulation, one can't help noticing how visually unimpressive the samples are. Comics journalist Joe Sacco will not need to worry about competition.

On the other hand, Revolutionary Comics did launch the comics careers of such folks as Terry Dodson and Stuart Immonen. The comics line was also supported by Alice Cooper, Mojo Nixon, and Ice T. By the film's end, a viewer may feel Loren was a man who expanded the First Amendment importance of comic books...or an irritating swine...or a dear friend whose still unsolved murder possibly hints at police homophobia...or a successful schlockmeister. What one will not feel is indifferent. (Film screens 5/13 at 7 PM at The Women's Building in San Francisco as part of the S.F. Documentary Film Festival)

Arriving 5/3

Yet another sick week here -- this time it wasn't me though, it was Ben. Poor little guy. It started last Tuesday when something in his jaw swelled up like a golfball ("bacterial infection of the salivary gland" was the Dr's best guess -- though he was scared it could be Mumps, despite Ben being immunized). There is nothing in the universe -- NOTHING -- worse than a sick kid. Someone who is normally vivacious, and curious and loving and enthusiastic suddenly just sitting there like a lump, moaning in pain, where's there's virtually nothing you can actually DO for them.

It REALLY stinks.

Well, we put Ben on antibiotics, and wouldn't you know it, though it was very effective in making his cheek swelling go down, it ALSO killed all of the "good" bacteria in his belly, which gave us 4 solid days of diarrhea, which ain't no fun either. The worst part is that he didn't want to eat or drink ANYthing, and there is a serious risk of dehydration (like, to the point of hospitalization) if fluid comes out and out and out, and nothing goes back in. So we had to pin him down and FORCE him to eat yogurt and drink pedialyte. It is seriously no fun to have to force your baby that way, but the alternative is, what? needles at the hospital?

Anyway, as of this morning, Ben is back to normal (hurray!), but that's why I didn't write reviews last week. Well, actually, I did write some, but they were too hostile and whiny -- even for me! -- so I sent them off to the recycling bin.

Here's what's shipping this week:

2000 AD #1482 2000 AD #1483 A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #33 (A) ACTION COMICS #838 ALICE IN WONDERLAND #4 (OF 4) ANNIHILATION SILVER SURFER #2(OF 4) ARCHENEMIES #2 (OF 4) ARCHIE & FRIENDS #100 ARCHIE DIGEST #225 ATOMIKA #7 (OF 12) BATMAN JOURNEY INTO KNIGHT #9(OF 12) BLOOD OF THE DEMON #15 BOOK OF SHADOWS #2 (OF 2) BPRD UNIVERSAL MACHINE #2 (OF5) CITY OF HEROES #13 CIVIL WAR #1 (OF 7) DETECTIVE COMICS #819 DOC SAMSON #5 (OF 5) EXILES #80 EXTERMINATORS #5 FEAR THE DEAD ZOMBIE SURVIVORS JOURNAL FLUFFY #4 (OF 4) FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #8 FURY PEACEMAKER #4 (OF 6) HARD TIME SEASON TWO #6 HAUNTED MANSION #3 INFINITE CRISIS #7 (OF 7) JOE LANSDALES DRIVE IN VOL 2 #1 (OF 4) JSA #85 JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #244 JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #21 LOONEY TUNES #138 LOVE & ROCKETS VOL 2 #16 MARSHAL #1 (OF 4) MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #15 MARVEL ROMANCE REDUX I SHOULDHAVE BEEN A BLONDE MARVEL TEAM-UP #20 MIDDLEMAN VOL 2 #3 SINO-MEXICAN REVELATION MOUSE GUARD #2 NECROMANCER #5 NEIL GAIMANS NEVERWHERE #7 (OF 9) NOBLE BOY ONE SHOT OUTSIDERS #36 PUNISHER #33 RAYMOND E FEIST MAGICIAN APPRENTICE #1 BOOTH CVR REVOLUTION ON THE PLANET OF THE APES #4 (OF 6) REX LIBRIS #4 ROBOTIKA #3 ROCKETO JOURNEY TO THE HIDDENSEA #7 SEA OF RED #9 SEASON OF THE WITCH #4 (OF 4) SENTINEL SQUAD ONE #5 (OF 5) SHADOWHAWK #11 SONIC X #8 SPIDER-MAN UNLIMITED #15 STRANGE GIRL #8 SUPERGIRL #6 SWAMP THING #27 TEAM ZERO #6 (OF 6) TEEN TITANS #35 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #94 UNDERWORLD #4 (OF 5) WAR OF THE WORLDS SECOND WAVE #2 WORMWOOD GENTLEMAN CORPSE THETASTER X-MEN APOCALYPSE DRACULA #4 (OF 4) X-MEN THE END MEN AND X-MEN #5 (OF 6) Y THE LAST MAN #45

Book / Mag / Stuff ART SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL TP BIZARRO WORLD SC COMPLETE PEANUTS VOL 5 1959-1960 HC CONCRETE THE HUMAN DILEMMA TP DRAGONLANCE CHRONICLES VOL 1 DRAGONS OF AUTUMN TWILIGHT TP ESSENTIAL CLASSIC X-MEN VOL 2TP FORTEAN TIMES #209 GOTHAM CENTRAL VOL 3 UNRESOLVED TARGETS TP HULK VISIONARIES PETER DAVID VOL 3 TP JAMES BOND GOLDEN GHOST TP JIMBOS INFERNO HC JUDGE DREDD COMPLETE CASE FILES VOL 3 TP LULLABIES FROM HELL VOL 1 TP MICHAEL CHABON PRESENTS ADV O/T ESCAPIST VOL 3 TP NUDE MAGAZINE #8 PUNISHER MAX VOL 5 THE SLAVERS TP SAM & TWITCH BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS COLLECTION VOL 1 TP SANDMAN MYSTERY THEATRE VOL 4THE SCORPION TP SEX ROCK & OPTICAL ILLUSIONS HC SUPERMAN JUMBO COLOR AND ACTIVITY BOOK SWARM VOL 2 GN (A) TEZUKAS BUDDHA VOL 1 TP TRUE LOVES VOL 1 GN ULTIMATE X-MEN FANTASTIC FOURTP UNCANNY X-MEN OMNIBUS VOL 1 HC VAMPIRELLA WITCHBLADE TRILOGYTP WONDER WOMAN SYMBOL T/S YAOI HENTAI VOL 2 GN (A) YEAST HOIST 12 GN

What looks good, what are you getting?

-B

Pantalons sans Robotieres: Jeff's Reviews of 4/26 Books...

Here's a question for the Savage Commenteers: can a man who's sucked at every other rhythm game to date find happiness with Guitar Hero? Or will it just be a waste of cash and flashy peripheral controller space? Discuss. And in non-maybe-it's-finally-time-to-hang-up-my-PS2 news:

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #531: Like many of JMS's machinations, I find the idea kinda interesting, and the execution lousy. If you buy into the conceit behind the Spider-Man movie, Peter is particularly vulnerable to the influence of a father figure, and Tony Stark could be filling that bill so much that Spidey can't see he's being led around by the webs. But that's not what I'm getting from what I read; that's what I get when I set my Benefit-of-the-Doubtometer to overdrive. What I'm getting when I read is a headache from all the plot-hammering. Eh.

ANNIHILATION RONAN #1: Is this whole Annihilation event with its bookend issues and four issue miniseries Marvel's answer to Seven Soldiers? If so, it's kind of a shame Marvel doesn't really understand that maybe a unifying vision (or better, Grant Morrison's unifying vision) is what's needed to pull that kind of thing off. Because although I thought the art on this was pretty nifty, and the story interesting in a "Hey, look what I found in this old issue of 2000 A.D.!" kind of way, it has so little to do with the other books in the event, it's probably gonna feel jarring when it does. OK, although like Graeme, I too have a hard time remembering what happened: the art more than made up for that.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #14: As you might expect from Mr. Whedon, Emma's mindfucking of Scott (and not in a good way) was satisfying and interesting, although I find the take on Cyclops to be very, very iffy: so the guy who's been a big, old control freak his entire life deliberately chose not to take control of his powers because he was too afraid of the responsibility of hurting people? It almost kind of works, but there's just too many hurtles to be overcome. If nothing else, it wouldn't make Scott a reluctant leader, it would make the idea of being a leader anathema to him. And then there's the whole "and he hid it from all the world's greatest telepaths all this time" angle. Sorry, made my disbelief saving throw by thisss much.... OK.

BATMAN #652: The new Batman on E is still pretty cool, but it can't obscure what feels like some heavy-duty vamping on the writer's part, particularly where Harvey "how can you even suspect me when I admit everything points to me as the prime supsect?" Dent is concerned. OK.

BLACK PANTHER #15: Beware: reading this issue and the most recent Joe Fridays column within 24 hours of each other will make your brain explode. (Big points for Joe Q. for saying, "Yes, there are single characters that you can marry, but they have to be characters that don’t necessarily have their bachelorhood as a prime story point. T’Challa is a perfect example." Because, of course, marriage is only about the man, Joe. And that's the more charitable interpretation of that comment...) As a bonus, Hudlin perfectly captures Ororo's speech patterns--when she's being played by Halle Berry. Crap.

BLUE BEETLE #2: I feel a little crawly about the first group of villains faced by our young Latino hero being "The Posse," but maybe my tighty-liberal-whities have shrunk in the wash a bit. Still a Good read, though.

CHECKMATE #1: Greg Rucka's new humor book gets off to a rollicking new start, with the golden age Green Lantern wearing an eyepatch and a kooky leather jacket to appear before the U.N. (get it? It's like having Jimmy Stewart dress up like Nick Fury!) with Amanda Waller (who, to avoid showing us a fat woman in a kooky leather jacket, is either drawn in tight close up or distant two-shot--the discretion being a clever tweak of reader's expectations for a comedy book). Like the film Top Secret, Rucka and Saiz take established spy movie cliches and deflate them through deadpan delivery, revealing such cliches as the "flirtatious nice guy who's too good to live," the "inscrutable Asian mastermind," and even the "tough guy tag line delivered with the killing stroke" as ripe targets for parody. I think the funniest part is when Checkmate realizes that the mastermind behind the plan to dissolve their funding isn't being headed up by the French, but the Chinese. Like the French could head up anything! Like the Chinese would be down with an international police division based on Chess, and not Go! Not nearly as funny as Team America, but it's only the first issue and it's obvious Rucka and Saiz are just warming up. Allow me to offer up a cover blurb for a future ish: "Look out for the Ruy Lopez of laughs: Checkmate!!" Awful.

FANTASTIC FOUR #537: Here's how well JMS understands Dr. Doom: Reed Richards asks Doom how he got out of Hell and Doom goes, "Eh, it's not important." Yeah, like Doom would pass up the chance to gloat to Richards about anything, particularly his escape from the infernal pit of torture where Reed consigned him. Of course, since there are pages to kill, we get to see how it happens anyway and, yeah, sure enough, it's presented in the dullest way possible. Throw in a scene of Doom trying to pick up the hammer, and then giving up and leaving when he fails, and you've got a real turd of a FF story. Stick around for next issue, when Galactus shows up and turns down a sandwich. Awful.

HAWKGIRL #51: I can tell if it's laziness or contempt (or, God help us, old age) afflicting Simonson and Chaykin, but something is stinking this up pretty bad. Remember last issue's cliffhanger? You know, where Hawkgirl was trapped in the dark? This issue opens with her clever escape by waking up from a bad dream. If that's not enough, there's a scene where Hawkgirl and her buddy, after drinking in a bar, hear cries for help and the buddy who knows Hawkgirl is Hawkgirl, tells her to call the police while he goes to check out the problem. And Hawkgirl, who also knows she's Hawkgirl, complies. Although not explicitly stated, the subtext is clearly:

GUY: Uh-oh, trouble! You stay here and call the police, because you're the lamest superhero ever.

HAWKGIRL: You're right. I will.

While I guess this issue admirably clears the way for Norman Mailer's upcoming run on Wonder Woman, I found it Crap on just about every other level.

ION #1: I have to admit I read this really quickly, but based on this set-up, I'd guess Ion is a hero who gets his powers from killing girlfriends? (Hmmm, maybe this is clearing the way for Mailer's Wonder Woman) Because that'd kind of explain Kyle's creepy "All my girlfriends are dead! All my girlfriends are dead! Hey, who's that hot number next door? Oh well, it's just as well she can't talk and isn't interested in me because she'd only end up dead!" In short, the book read more like a romantic comedy scripted by Jason Voorhees than a superhero book I'd be interested in reading. Crap and crap, again.

NEW AVENGERS ANNUAL #1: I can really imagine Bendis wrapping up the script for this, and going, "Finally! A complete done-in-one issue with a good fight scene, solid characterization and good laughs. Who says I can't compress my storytelling?" before realizing (a) it took him forty some-odd pages to do what he should be doing in twenty; and (b) he forgot to include the wedding that was ostensibly the point of the whole issue and having to rewrite his last five pages to include it. Good, but also frustrating.

SENTRY #8: As I said previously, this whole mini ended up living or dying on the big revelation of this issue, which I guess means this sucker's dead. The idea that Robert Reynolds is nobody special and the Sentry could have been anybody, anyone, isn't much of a brain-blower, even considering that Reynolds is an insecure paranoid schizophrenic. (Also the whole "it's Captain America's superserum from the program that created Wolverine! Times 1,000!" is so bad I can't tell if it's supposed to point to its own badness.) I think there might have been a way for Jenkins to take his whole meta-conceit--maybe the relationship Reynolds has with The Sentry and The Void is less that of a secret identity and more the relationship between a comic book reader and the characters--but, whatever. Frustrating hokum, but well-drawn. Eh.

SEVEN SOLDIERS FRANKENSTEIN #4: Frankenstein fights sentient universe, blows its brains out. Nuff said. Excellent. (Although if you need more, Jog's review is a lively, informative read.)

VILLAINS UNITED INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL: Ah, fooled me twice. I remember reading the Villains United mini and being initially annoyed the focus was on the new Secret Six, rather than the Secret Society of Super-Villains. And now, when I pick up this special curious to read about the Secret Six, it's actually all about the Secret Society. Well played, Simone. Well played.

Unfortunately, unlike Graeme, I thought this was pretty goofy. All the metahuman convicts from all over the world are freed and told to go to Metropolis. How are they going to get there at all, much less at the same time? I think it'd be hilarious if all the Chinese prisoners show up six months late because they had to come by barge... OK compared to the other one shots but I don't think that's saying too much.

PICK OF THE WEEK: SEVEN SOLDIERS FRANKENSTEIN #4, and I wouldn't be surprised if every issue of this made my pick of the week. I loved it.

PICK OF THE WEAK: HAWKGIRL #51 because even Hawkgirl has contempt for Hawkgirl.

TRADE PICK: No pick. The only one I was tempted by was COLLECTED JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR VOL 5 TPB and I think I already have all the issues.

MANGA FIX: So I read all fifteen volumes of BATTLE ROYALE last week. By the time I finished them (at the rate of three volumes a day), my brain was prety broken--I couldn't see anything remotely sentimental or sweet without expecting someone's head to explode. Admittedly, I read them far more quickly than I should have, but after the shocks of the explicit gore (and sex--mustn't forget the sex) finally(!) faded, I didn't feel like there was as much insight into human nature as there could have been. For a book that's about people being put in the most evil situation possible, the authors seem to have no real belief in evil. Makes me wish Carter Scholz was still writing essays for The Comics Journal. He could have untangled the conundrum, I bet.

Robot Pants: Graeme's reviews of the 4/26 books.

With absolutely no proof whatsoever, I would like to blame Brian Hibbs for the fact that I spent the last week sick on the couch and feeling sorry for myself. There is almost no way that Bri could’ve made me sick – What with him being sick for the last week or so, I hadn’t even seen him for a couple of weeks – but lack of reason has never stopped me before... AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #531: The Road to Civil War is, apparently, not lined with good intentions, but mediocre comic books. The first of J. Michael Straczynski’s two lead-ins to Marvel’s big crossover event this week, this is another example of the creators being much more excited about their big ideas than anyone else – the story ends with Tony Stark talking about his respect for Abraham Lincoln: “When the South began going its own way, he knew that taking a position against them would lead to civil war. But he did it anyway. Because he understood something… understood it more perhaps than anyone else in that time. He knew that a house divided against itself cannot stand… A nation cannot be divided and survive. Under his administration, brother hunted down brother, friend turned against friend. It was terrible. It was bloody. It was necessary.” Yes, Marvel, we get it already. Civil War will have the Marvel Universe turning against itself, yadda yadda (Incidentally, one of the big changes that Civil War is going to bring will hopefully be some kind of explanation about why Tony Stark has suddenly become the Exposition-a-matic Iron Man, considering this monologue and his “I’ll tell you the plot of the first half of Civil War #1” thing at the end of the Illuminati special a few weeks back). Sadly, this upcoming excitement isn’t conveyed by this book, which spends too long on dull speeches illustrated by an artist who isn’t too great drawing faces… so, yeah. Crap, sadly.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #14: John Cassaday’s a great artist, but obviously one in a rush these days: Not only are some panels incredibly weak for him, but there’s a lot of Photoshop-repeated panels in here (The sixth page in particular)… Maybe there were Planetary-related deadline things happening? It’s a shame, though, because the story this issue is kind of interesting – Joss Whedon goes into the psychology of Cyclops, picking up on some things that Grant Morrison left lying around after his run. I’m not convinced about the overall plot that’s happening here, but this episode alone is worth paying attention to, even including the lazy art. Good.

BLUE BEETLE #2: Of course, if we’re talking art, I should admit upfront that Cully Hamner’s work on this book is probably making me enjoy it more than I would if anyone else was drawing it – There’s something about Hamner’s stuff here (cartoony but not overly, like Walt Simonson in his prime meets Disney) that helps the well-done but kind of generic teenage hero in mystic secret origin plot go down easier. Good.

CHECKMATE #1: “From the pages of Infinite Crisis,” according to the cover, but unless something happens in the last issue of that book, that’s not really true… But then, “From the pages of The OMAC Project, you know, that Infinite Crisis tie-in book” probably has too many words for a cover blurb. Greg Rucka has the whole spy thing down pat after doing Queen and Country for so long, but I’m not convinced that it works here – The idea that Kobra, a religious cult of nihilists who dress up like snakes, are meant to be taken seriously as an international terrorist threat is as tough to swallow as Rucka’s fairly-sudden revamp of Fire (from the Giffen/DeMatteis JLI) as a heart-hearted Sydney Bristow type. As is traditional with Rucka’s DC work, he doesn’t introduce his characters as much as assume that you already know them from his other DC books, so the death of (Wonder Woman supporting character) Jonah McCarthy falls completely flat considering the reader isn’t given any reason to care about him. It’s all done well enough – Jesus Saiz provides nice art, and Lee Barmejo’s cover is good – but… Eh.

FANTASTIC FOUR #537: The Road to Civil War! Again! This is just horrible, ruining the surprise of Thor’s return at some point during Civil War (because there’s no other reason for this to be a Civil War tie-in) and making what should have been an exciting story – Doctor Doom is back! – into a subplot that’s done with absolutely no enthusiasm in the first half of the book purely to get it out the way before returning to a main story that makes no effort to hide the mechanics of We-have-to-get-to-plot-point-B-now. Really, really Awful.

FRANKENSTEIN #4: Okay, it’s a month late, but everything comes together in this penultimate part of the whole Seven Soldiers story, as Grant Morrison brings the plots of his JLA Classified, Zatanna, Klarion and Shining Knight series into this issue in such a way that it still doesn’t slow down the story. Doug Mahnke’s art is as gorgeous as ever – he does a great evil Fairy Queen – and Goddammit if it actually wasn’t worth the wait. Excellent, even if I’m bored of the “One soldier must die… Will it be X?” teasers at the end of each series by now. It’s going to be Frankenstein. It’s obviously going to be Frankenstein. Ignoring that we’ve seen Mister Miracle, Guardian, Klarion, Zatanna and Bulleteer in Infinite Crisis by now, Frankenstein’s the only one whose death would be a happy ending, and Grant’s superhero work is all about the happy ending… (Now that I’ve said that, of course, the Shining Knight will die. It’ll be Armageddon 2001 all over again.)

THE NEW AVENGERS ANNUAL #1: Do I have to hand in my Bendis-Hata badge if I admit that I liked this? I mean, yes, Bendis still can’t really write superhero stories without some kind of out-of-nowhere non-conclusion – This time, the bad guy gets killed by other bad guys because she’s too much of a threat to them – and his fight dialogue is appalling (“You arrogant - - You just killed yourself! You just killed yourself!”), but there’s something about the lightness of tone of the story mixed with the wonderful Olivier Copiel art that just sold me… Personally, I would’ve liked it more if the story really had been about the wedding of Luke Cage and Jessica Jones instead of the new Super-Adaptoid, but still, it’s Good, surprisingly.

ION #1: The good: Greg Tocchini’s Gene Colan-esque artwork. The bad: Ron Marz’s writing, which pairs an unoriginal concept (A hero has more power than he knows what to do with! That’s never been done before!) with shitty dialogue (“I don’t know why you came here… But you’re not going to take me!”). You can imagine why this got downgraded from an ongoing book to a 12-issue mini-series: Someone at DC saw this issue and came to their senses. Crap.

RONAN #1: I just don’t get this whole Annihilation thing. Everything I’ve read from it just makes me even more convinced that Marvel are pushing out series based on minor characters that can’t really support their own books just to flood the market, and this isn’t any different. The very definition of Eh, because I had to re-read it just to remember what it was about.

SOLO #10: Hibbs handed this to me the other day with the announcement that it may be the worst thing that DC has ever published, which I tell you just so that all of you can want to read him review it as much as I do. Me, I don’t think that it’s that bad, but it definitely makes me wonder if Solo editor Mark Chiarello lost a bet or something: Never mind the quality of the artwork (Which varies from terrible – that Flash story hurts the eyes – to kind-of-interesting in a Gahan Wilson meets the Yellow Submarine cartoon way in the Superman gallery pages) or the writing (which is almost uniformly bad, in a fan-fictiony way), what gets me is that there’s not a full issue’s worth of work here – Each story is seperated with pages of cover sketches and roughs and hand-written commentary, which kind of screams “Filler” to me in a very loud, panicked by the prospect of a deadline, voice. Although I think that Brian hated it more than me, I’d be lying if I said it was any better than Awful.

SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #17: Good as ever, with Waid providing a much more interesting take on Supergirl than she’s gotten anywhere else, but what I really wanted to point out was the comment from the bad guy towards the end of the book: “Remember the fiffffdeetu.” Looks like the Legion is really going to be tying into DC continuity from now on, then.

USAGI YOJIMBO #93: Hey! Everyone who’s ever complained about Bendis writing decompressed stories? Try reading this issue, in which you get a Japanese Tea Ceremony explained to you and… well, that’s about it. But when it takes seven pages for Usagi just to cross the garden and enter the room where the ceremony is taking place, you can understand why there isn’t space for much else. Despite my sarcasm, I really enjoyed this – the pacing is deliberate, and done with such skill that you’d have to be even more of an asshole than me to seriously complain. A beautifully peaceful book, and a Very Good one, at that.

VILLAINS UNITED: INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL #1: This really shouldn’t feel like anything more than a lead-in to Infinite Crisis #7 (and one that will, hopefully for those only reading IC, be recapped at least in that book), but this had exactly the right tone of dread and anticipation running all the way through it for me, as Alex Luthor’s Plan B comes into focus just as everyone who could help stop it realizes what’s going on a little bit too late. There are some nice character moments in the middle of all the Infinite Crisising, and Gail Simone provides yet another bit of proof that she’s good at channelling Grant Morrison’s JLA with a shout-out to the end of his World War III arc. The only downside for me was the expected lack of ending, but with Infinite Crisis due out next week, I can wait to see just how everything ends up alright. Good

ZOOMSUIT #1: Zoomsuit stinks. And I mean that literally; the book has some weird metallic smell that hits you as soon as you open it, probably from the metallic ink used to provide a barely-there silver sheen to certain scenes for no immediately apparent reason. Luckily enough, the book stinks in a figurative sense as well, just to help keep things straight. If I tell you that the book opens with the following exchange between two old folk out searching for a fallen meteor, you may get an idea of just how bad it is:

“Dang it Ma, you nearly scared the bejesus outta me. Don’t do that to me in my Sunday trousers.”

“I get gassy when I’m scared… And I’m really scared.”

“Well put a cork in it. We don’t want these aliens to ‘smell’ fear.”

“Better hold on… I feel another one coming.”

The aliens then appear, and say something in their alien language. Which translates as “Who farted.” I wish I was joking.

Sadly, things only get worse from there. The plot is stolen from a million different sources, the dialogue at the level of the above exchange (or worse – There are a few shots that the writer takes at Billy Dallas Patton’s art in captions and characters’ thoughts. Not that the art is good or anything, but still, I’m sure you shouldn’t be going after the people who drew your book for you) and the overall execution completely amateurish. Ass, but with a worse odor.

PICK OF THE WEEK is Frankenstein, which makes me wish that Seven Soldiers #1 wasn’t so late that it’s not even on the schedule anymore. PICK OF THE WEAK is Zoomsuit, although I really want to give it to Fantastic Four, because that at least has the potential to be better… Even if I’d picked up one of the few trades that came out this week, I doubt that I would’ve been able to give out a TRADE OF THE WEEK; I spent most of my trade-reading time going through Essential Iron Mans, coming to the twin conclusions of (a) Iron Man has really always kind of sucked as a strip, and (b) Don Heck was an incredible artist, back in the day.

Next week’s a bit of a double whammy: Wednesday has the final issue of Infinite Crisis and the first issue of Civil War, and then Saturday is Free Comic Book Day, where there are roughly several million different comic books for you to pick up, including the surprisingly disappointing X-Men/Runaways by Brian K. Vaughan and Skottie Young. Bear that in mind when you go into your comic stores of choice this week, because your retailers? They may be a wee bit stressed.

Arrving 4/26

2000 AD #14802000 AD #1481 ALL NEW OFF HANDBOOK MARVEL UNIVERSE A TO Z #4 AMAZING FANTASY #20 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #531 AMERICAN WAY #3 (OF 8) ANNIHILATION RONAN #1 (OF 4) ARMY OF DARKNESS #6 ASTONISHING X-MEN #14 BART SIMPSON COMICS #29 BATMAN #652 BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #204 BETTY & VERONICA #217 BETTY & VERONICA DIGEST #165 BLACK HARVEST #5 (OF 6) BLACK PANTHER #15 BLUE BEETLE #2 CARTOON NETWORK BLOCK PARTY #20 CATWOMAN #54 CHECKMATE #1 CLIVE BARKERS GREAT AND SECRET SHOW #2 (OF 12) CRISIS AFTERMATH THE BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN #2 (OF 6) DAUGHTERS OF THE DRAGON #4 (OF 6) DOLL & CREATURE #2 (OF 4) ED THE HAPPY CLOWN #7 (OF 9) FANTASTIC FOUR #537 FOUR #29 GODLAND #10 HAWKGIRL #51 HOUSEWIVES AT PLAY #15 (A) HOW TO SELF PUBLISH COMICS #3(OF 4) INCREDIBLE HULK #94 INVINCIBLE #31 ION #1 (OF 12) IRON MAN THE INEVITABLE #5 (OF 6) JUGHEADS DOUBLE DIGEST #121 LUCIFER #73 MARVEL MILESTONES BEAST & KITTY PRYDE NEW AVENGERS ANNUAL #1 NYC MECH BETA LOVE #6 (OF 6) PARIS #4 (OF 4) POISON ELVES LOST TALES #3 POISON ELVES VENTURES #4 JACE POLLY & THE PIRATES #5 (OF 6) RED SONJA VS THULSA DOOM #3 (OF 4) RUNAWAYS #15 SAVAGE DRAGON #125 SENTRY #8 (OF 8) SEVEN SOLDIERS FRANKENSTEIN #4 (OF 4) SHRUGGED BEGINNINGS SKYE RUNNER #1 SOLO #10 SPAWN #155 SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #5 STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC #4 STAR WARS TAG & BINK #2 STORM #3 (OF 6) SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #17 TEEN TITANS GO #30 THING #6 TRON #1 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #29 UNCLE SCROOGE #353 USAGI YOJIMBO #93 VILLAINS UNITED INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL WALT DISNEYS COMICS & STORIES #668 WARLORD #3 WHAT WERE THEY THINKING SOME PEOPLE NEVER LEARN ONE SHOT WOLVERINE #41 X-FACTOR #6 ZOOM SUIT #1

Book / Mag / Stuff 100 BULLETS VOL 9 STRYCHNINE LIVES TP CARGO COMIC JOURNALISM FROM ISRAEL GERMANY HC COLLECTED JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR VOL 5 TP DECIMATION X-MEN THE DAY AFTER TP DEFENDERS INDEFENSIBLE PREMIERE HC DRAGONSLIPPERS GN FRANK CHO WOMEN SELECTED DRAWINGS & ILLUSTRATIONS HC H G WELLS THE WAR OF THE WORLDS HC KILROY IS HERE TP LUCIFERS GARDEN OF VERSES VOL3 THE STUDENT SC NEW X-MEN CHILDHOODS END VOL 1 TP PATRIOT GN (A) PREVIEWS VOL XVI #5 SFX #142 SLAINE BOOKS OF INVASIONS VOL1 MOLOCH AND GOLAMH HC STAR WARS CLONE WARS ADVENTURES VOL 5 TP TEZUKAS BUDDHA VOL 8 JETAVANAHC WHAT IF MIRROR MIRROR TP WINGS GN WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE MARVELCIVIL WAR CVR #176

Hurray, not dead! And some thanks!

While I still feel like there's a steel rod, barbed with little razors, in my throat, it is, at least, no longer rotating, and pounding in and out at piston-speed. Was able to swallow solid food this morning, and I actually got almost a full 8 hours of sleep last night, so I think I am "better".

What a fucked up virus that was. "Yeah, can't do anything for you," said the doctor, "we're no good with viruses yet -- antibioticis will do nothing, and while you're inflamed, it isn't tonsilitis or Strep, so all I can do is give you a perscription for vicodin and ice cream."

The vicodin didn't do much but allow me to sleep for a whole hour at a time, rather than just 20 minutes -- and by day #2 it started to WIRE me, and give me really nasty hallucinations of the angel of death floating around the roof of my bedroom.

Tzipora suffered more from cabin fever than anything else -- she had bad naseua (nothing worse than having to puke, and puking up nothing but water, right?), and a severe case of the spins -- but the fact that she couldn't escape the house in nearly a week was worse for her than almost anything else. The lady is a free spirit.

And Ben smiled through the whole thing, with nary a symptom in sight -- other than being really really sad that we kept handing him off to grandparents to take him to the park. "Where sickness from?" he'd keep asking, as if, fireman-style, he'd go kicking down some door to battle it and get his parents back. Heart-breaking, really. I love the little guy so much, but am glad he had existential pain, rather than real pain.

I'm taking one more day to get back up to speed, but I think by tomorrow I'll be down to "dull roar of pain", and I can go catch up on nearly a damn week's worth of paperwork and stuff at the store.

SO: big BIG thanks to the staff for keeping shit together while I suffered sleep-and-food deprivation -- and even more so from the absolute last-minute warning I heaped it on to them.

Especially double-plus thanks go to Jeff Lester for fighting an unfamiliar photocopier and getting ONOMATOPOEIA run off. He called me 3-4 times on Firday, each with a "Uh, WTF is this machine doing?!" question, and each time he sounded more and more defeated by the mechanical beast -- escpecially since I couldn't answer ANY of his questions (I've never USED the "duplex to simplex" feature, sorry!). But he perservered, and got shit taken care of, and he should be lauded -- LAUDED -- by the Gods themselves.

Anyway, now that I CAN sleep, I'm going to go and try and fit in another 12-16 hours today.

Mm, yeah, The newest Tilting also made it up at:

http://www.newsarama.com/Tilting2_0/Tilting27.html

go give it a read, I guess, though it was written in a vicodin haze and contains AT LEAST one absolutely, verifiably, 100% false statement. Can YOU spot it? Because I have NO idea how I could have written it (except for the whole "vicodin-haze" thing) -- me, of ALL people should have known better....

-B

And Men Shall Call Him...Copy Boy!! Jeff's Reviews of 4/19 Books

So if you ever get the chance to make a photocopy on the Comix Experience copier? Don't do it. Seriously. I've had a pretty rough week overall with work being crazy and Hibbs ill as hell and trying to hit my deadline for the newsletter while also spending time in Half-Moon Bay with the missus (okay that was great, I admit it, but still a little stressful with the deadline), but none of that compares to our scary-ass copier which is 375 years old on which Hibbs manages to make print the newsletter on 11x17 flats every month. Since he was home hallucinating from pain and a lack of sleep yesterday, I got to run the store and run some copies. It sucked sweaty balls. And not in a good way. So not only did I not get a chance to read my beloved Golgo 13, vol. 2, but the books I did read were read while swearing and trying to get the machine to clear a non-existent paper jam. So there won't be many of 'em, and they won't be particularly perky.

Anyway... Enough with the whinging! On with the kvetching!

ANNIHILATION NOVA #1: About a month ago, Erik Larsen had an overview of Nova and mentioned how almost every time Nova gets brought back, Marvel feels compelled to change a perfectly good costume. Sure enough, the big finish to this first issue is Nova getting a new costume that's a hundred times shittier than the original. Really a shame because the rest of the issue was more or less OK: It has a few too many half-hearted combat scenes but that's true of this Annhiliation event overall. It's like everyone but the person who pitched the project went, "Cosmic bugs? Okay, whatever..." Since I'm a Nova purist, the costume change drops this to a bitter Eh, but those who don't care might go up to OK. Provided they're a big fan of cosmic bugs.

BIG MAX #1: The antidote to nearly all the crappy books I read this week, this charmer by Dan Slott and James Fry (with a cover by Ty Templeton, I think?) is a big ol' sloppy kiss to Silver Age stories where a powerful hero has to use his noggin to beat a villain, and backstory gets used not to deepen the characters but to spike the plot. If there's a problem, it's that it's too competent to just be a spoof, and yet too silly to be taken seriously: I really, really wish the guys reading New Avengers #18 would pick this up so they could remember what a competent comic read like, but it's just not going to happen. Very Good stuff in a light and breezy kind of way.

BITE CLUB VAMPIRE CRIME UNIT #1: Maybe if they got Quitely to do the interiors as well as the covers, Bite Club might actually have some genuine nasty thrills to it. But David Hahn's work makes it read more like Black Kiss: The Animated Adventures. (Actually, the non-copy-machine highlight of my working day yesterday was having a parent try to buy the first issue of this for his twelve-year old kid "to get him interested in collecting comics." Guy hadn't even cracked the cover before bringing it to the counter. Wow, huh?) Good for a snicker or two, but it's sad that Howard Chaykin is doing comics I can only recommend to people who find Tarot too intellectually taxing. Crap.

DAREDEVIL #84: Not sure if this was Brubaker's intention but I laughed out loud when Turk showed up (I kinda think it was.) There's something so fucking hilarious and apt about putting nearly ever character from Miller's run (Bullseye, Kingpin and Turk) behind bars with Murdock and I can't put my finger on why that is: the metatext-lovin' TCJ-readin' side of me would put forth that it's merely a witty way to emphasize how trapped (or imprisoned, if you will) creators are by Miller's definitive run, while the regular Joe side of me just thinks that, yeah, you know, wouldn't all these guys end up behind bars at some point or other? In fact, as long as you don't have Frank Tieri write it, the idea of a book that's like Oz in the Marvel Universe isn't a bad one since most of these villains spend more time behind bars than out in the world. Unlike Captain America, where I feel Brubaker is doling out the cool shit with a precise measuring spoon, here he's piling on as much craziness as fast as he can. And I'm loving it. Very Good.

EX MACHINA SPECIAL #1: I guess this is a "Special" because it's set back in Hundred's Great Machine days, but it also earns the rank by being a real treat to read, much more so than the last four or five (or more?) issues of Ex Machina. So much so, in fact, it makes me wonder if Vaughan pitched his series (superhero turned NY mayor) more for the attention it could gain and its crossover potential to other media than whether it was something he actually wanted to write: with the Mayor stuff out of the way, this reads like a satisfyingly clever piece of superhero fun. A high Good, and maybe the toner fumes from the copy machine have made me overly cynical about the other stuff.

MAN-BAT #1: Clarified why I hated last week's issue of Nightwing so much: not so much for the "sloppy seconds" angle, nor the general misogyny, but for the sloppy and horrid dialogue--Jason Todd calling Dick "dickie-bird" wasn't just out of character for Jason Todd, it was out of character for anyone not in a Stephen King book. Here, similarly, Jones takes tired situations and is unable to bring the slightest bit of verisimilitude to them (which is really all that one asks of a hack, if you think about it): the speech patterns of the horny kid in the cave inauthentically run the gamut from hip-hop slang to '50s beat speak, a sign of someone who gleans how the youth speak from listening to McDonald's commercials. (I don't remember the specific example, but I could swear it was something like, "Where you gone, baby girl? I've got a whole lotta love I wanna share, twenty-three skiddoo!") Throw in copious padding, a lousy plot and a marked lack of characterization, and this was Ass in just about every way, but for its cover which I thought was pretty good.

NEW AVENGERS #18: This really made me feel like a kid reading comics again: that is, I was vaguely aware there was something better I could be doing with my time if only I had any friends. Four pages of the storyline devoted to establishing that the monster on the loose used to work at a post office? Wow. And still not over? Double-wow. Crap.

NEXTWAVE AGENTS OF HATE #4: I dunno. If you're gonna have a character beat a giant robot just by waving her hands around, you might as well have her doing it by playing a guitar (ninja-style!) or dropping her top or jumping in the air and yelling "finishing move!!1eleven" or something. Because being anti-climactic in a book that's supposed to be all climax is the closest thing you can get to committing a cardinal sin. Eh, but with a bit more amusement than that rating normally entails.

SQUADRON SUPREME #2: "Ladies and gentlemen, your target is nicknamed The Voice, which suggests he may have some sort of mind-influence powers at work. It is imperative that you fly close enough to him that you can hear what he's saying and then hang out to see what he says." Eh.

TESTAMENT #5: I'm kinda bummed I've only read parts of the boring Old Testament, which traces the lineage of the people of Israel and their laws, and not the wicked-ass Old Testament referred to here (and on telephone pole fliers written by crazy people) where Abraham and his robo-ninjas save Lot so he can get two hot chicks to go cyber-skinny-dipping. Or something. I'm also bummed Liam Sharp's exquisite art is being wasted on Douglas Rushkoff's Tobaggan Ride to Cancellationville. Replaces The Minx as Exhibit A for the case that Vertigo Editors have no fucking idea what they're doing half the time. Awful, alas.

WOLVERINE ORIGINS #1: Oh, god. Having Steve Dillon do the art for this is like tying an expensive Easter bonnet on a toothless crack whore--more than anything, it just underscores the ghoulish desperation. Daniel Way is out of his depth here (on a Wolverine comic, it should be pointed out), vamping badly, and unconvincingly trying to bluff us into believing he's got a master plan for the book beyond "submit script; get paid." He makes Howard Mackie look like Alan Moore, in short. The Dillon art keeps this from getting the Ass rating it deserves (even though, to be honest, his Wolverine looks more than a little goofy) but not by much. Do avoid.

X-STATIX PRESENTS DEAD GIRL #4: This book is odd and wrong and thoroughly enjoyable. Milligan can off any number of sacred cows but as long as Allred is on the art in some capacity, and the concern is less on whether or not the universe is destroyed and more on whether anyone can ever really be happy or believe themselves capable of loving and being loved, I apparently don't care. Good.

PICK OF THE WEEK: DAREDEVIL #84 or maybe even BIG MAX #1. Two approaches to superhero comics that couldn't be more different, but that both work on their own merits and in comparison to the majority of material on the marketplace.

PICK OF THE WEAK: Oy, where to start? Despite several contenders and a lot of vitriol, I'm gonna go with WOLVERINE: ORIGINS #1 over MAN-BAT #1, because when you factor in all the money comic shop retailers diverted to ordering copies of the former, it becomes a much more criminal wast than the latter. Some really stinky comics this week, though.

TRADE PICK: GOLGO 13 VOL 2 GN!! Actually that should go in my Manga Fix section, so let's say LITTLE LULU VOL 9. (How I was able to mention those two books consecutively without exploding, I still don't know.)

MANGA FIX: GOLGO 13 VOL 2 GN!! Although I haven't read it or, to be honest, bought it. (I had to rush out the door last night so I didn't pick up anything in my sub box.) And yet I'm sure Golgo 13 once again uses his peerless sniping skills and superior penis (as lovingly detailed in the book's back pages) to triumph against impossible odds.

Also, providing me with my fix these days--DEATH NOTE VOL. 4 which grows more absurd and more satisfying with every issue. (As my friend Joel pointed out yesterday, the fact that there are demons and notebooks that kill people when you write names in them are probably two of the more believable aspects to the series. And yet that's part of what makes it great.) And I'm just ready to start Vol. 6 of BATTLE ROYALE which is some seriously twisted shit. I mean, I've seen the movie, but Takami and Taguchi really pull out the stops, giving you almost radioactive doses of sentimentality so that just when you give in (again!) to the belief that children are good and young and vulnerable and life is precious, someone gets their head immolated on a flaming stick and fed to hungry snakes. Short of someone with the word WAR tattooed on his dick forcibly raping my entire family, BATTLE ROYALE may be the most potent form of agitprop I'll ever encounter. Good stuff.

arriving 4/19

got some sort of a virus, tzipora has it too. dr. said "have to wait it out", fucking swell. ben, at least, is spared, and he's with grandfather today haven't slept more than 20 minutes at onmce in last 2 days. that's all

7 DAYS TO FAME #3 (OF 3) A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #32 (A) ANGEL OLD FRIENDS #5 (OF 5) ANNIHILATION NOVA #1 (OF 4) AVENGERS & POWER PACK ASSEMBLE #1 (OF 4) BETTY #155 BIG MAX #1 BIRDS OF PREY #93 BITE CLUB VAMPIRE CRIME UNIT #1 (OF 5) BOOK OF LOST SOULS #6 CAPTAIN AMERICA #17 CHICANOS #6 CONAN #27 CONAN BOOK OF THOTH #2 (OF 4) CYBERFORCE LEE CVR #2 DAREDEVIL #84 DEAD EYES OPEN #4 DONALD DUCK AND FRIENDS #339 EX MACHINA SPECIAL #1 (OF 2) FURY PEACEMAKER #3 (OF 6) GI JOE VS TRANSFORMERS VOL 3 ART OF WAR CVR A #2 (OF 5) GOON #17 HELLBLAZER #219 HORRORWOOD #1 (OF 4) IRON MAN #7 JLA CLASSIFIED #20 JSA CLASSIFIED #11 JUGHEAD AND FRIENDS DIGEST #10 JUSTICE #5 (OF 12) MAN-BAT #1 (OF 5) MANHUNTER #21 MARVEL SPOTLIGHT DANIEL WAY OLIVER COIPEL MICKEY MOUSE AND FRIENDS #288 NEW AVENGERS #18 NEW MANGAVERSE #4 (OF 5) NEXTWAVE AGENTS OF HATE #4 NIGHTMARES AND FAIRY TALES #16 PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #102 PARIAH #1 PHANTOM #10 RANDOM ENCOUNTER VOL 1 TP RED SONJA #9 RED SONJA CLAW DEVILS HANDS #2 (OF 4) RISING STARS UNTOUCHABLE #3 (OF 5) ROBIN #149 SABLE & FORTUNE #4 (OF 4) SCOOBY DOO #107 SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN #25 SENTINEL SQUAD ONE #4 (OF 5) SGT ROCK THE PROPHECY #4 (OF 6) SIMPSONS COMICS #117 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #161 SPAWN #1 IN 3D SPIDER-WOMAN ORIGIN #5 (OF 5) SQUADRON SUPREME #2 TESTAMENT #5 TRANSFORMERS GENERATIONS (IDW) #2 WITCHBLADE LEE CVR #97 WOLVERINE ORIGINS #1 X-MEN #185 X-STATIX PRESENTS DEAD GIRL #4 (OF 5) ZOMBIE-SAMA #1 (RES)

Books / Mags / Stuff A NUT AT THE OPERA HC AWAKE FIELD HC BAKERS DO THESE TOYS BELONG SOMEWHERE HC BATMAN THRILLKILLER TP NEW PTG CBG 2006 COMIC BOOK CHECKLIST& PRICE GUIDE 12TH ED TP COMICS BUYERS GUIDE JULY 2006 #1618 COMPLETE OMAHA THE CAT DANCERVOL 3 TP (A) COYOTE VOL 3 TP CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP GN DOOMED MAGAZINE #2 EGO & HUBRIS MICHAEL MALICE STORY HC ESSENTIAL WOLVERINE VOL 4 TP FANTASTIC FOUR VISIONARIES GEORGE PEREZ VOL 2 TP GI JOE SNAKE-EYES DECLASSIFIED TP GIRL GENIUS VOL 4 TP GOLGO 13 VOL 2 GN GREEN LANTERN NO FEAR HC JAPANESE DRAWING ROOM GN JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED VOL 2 WORLDS GREATEST HEROES TP JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED VOL 3 CHAMPIONS OF JUSTICE TP JUXTAPOZ MAY 2006 VOL 14 #5 LITTLE LULU VOL 9 LUCKY LULU TP NEW MUTANTS CLASSIC VOL 1 TP OUTSIDERS CRISIS INTERVENTIONTP QUEEN & COUNTRY DECLASSIFIED VOL 2 TP QUEEN & COUNTRY DECLASSIFIED VOL 3 TP SAMURAI CHAMPLOO FILM MANGA VOL 1 GN SPIDER-MAN THE OTHER HC SUPERMAN IN THE EIGHTIES SUPERMAN RUIN REVEALED TICKING HC X-MEN AND POWER PACK POWER OFX DIGEST TP

And this one has video: Graeme's review of the 4/5 and 4/12 books.

Well, that was a surprisingly dull week. Well, in terms of single issues, at least – There were some good trades and graphic novels released, and if this was the world where I had more money than Donald Trump, I’d have been able to buy the lot of them. As it was, this is the world where taxes were due, so what can you do? Besides share the following, which has nothing to do with comics but may be the best thing SNL has done in years…

CRISIS AFTERMATH: THE BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN #1: There are parts of this that are so bad, you immediately start hoping that maybe the entire series is the result of some weird dare from Dan Didio to create make the second Infinite Crisis spin-off the shittiest book imaginable. There’s not even one thing that you can point to that makes it so horrible, because it’s all just so generic, from the way that Dan Jurgens gives everyone the same build and faces – with Speedy of the Teen Titans looking somewhat male in one panel – to the appalling dialogue that characters spout. “For the first time I feel like we’re actually making a difference in people’s lives instead of dealing with our problems.” “Come on, Titans. Let’s save some lives!” The fact that the majority of the characters in the book are brand new and have no introduction at all beyond large panels where they face the reader dramatically doesn’t help, either, especially when they define themselves in terms that make no sense to anyone. “The old Force of July is dead. We’re freedom’s ring.” Do those words even make a sentence that makes sense? The whole thing is made much more interesting – although not any more logical – by the exceptionally unsubtle political commentary running through the book: The government doesn’t care about the common man! Fighting terrorists is more important than freedom! The best way to explain this book is to ask someone to imagine those mid-70s Marvel comics where Captain America found out that Richard Nixon was the head of the Secret Empire, except without any redeeming features. Ass.

DETECTIVE COMICS #818: Meanwhile, over in Gotham City, things are continuing to lighten up. The main story is more or less filler in James Robinson’s reintroductory storyarc with only a couple of plotpoints, but it’s the back-up story that brings old-school Detective character Jason Bard into the thick of things that makes the whole thing worthwhile. Given the way that this issue ends, it looks like Jason’s going to be a mainstay of the Batverse for awhile – Hopefully Paul Dini’s got plans for him in his upcoming “detective stories for Detective Comics” run. Good.

EX MACHINA #19: Between this and last week’s Y: The Last Man, I can’t shake the feeling that Brian K. Vaughan needs to take a vacation. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with either series right now, more that there’s nothing special about them, either. Vaughan’s a very talented writer, but I feel that he’s gotten himself into such a rut with these two books that I could write an issue of either one right now: Opening scene should be something tangentally connected to the main storyline allowing for some exposition, before cutting to the main characters talking about someone or something from history. Put in some kind of dream sequence where the hero of the piece reveals some hidden piece of history in surreal form. Have another conversation between main characters where they argue because they’re both stressed and don’t really mean it. End with a cliffhanger full page splash. Repeat next month. And the month after that. And the month after that… Ah, well. Tony Harris’s art is nice, at least. Eh.

INFINITE CRISIS #6: Wait, so that’s it? Both of the bad guys were taken out by Superboy crashing into the tower and it explodes? I know that there’s another issue to go, but you can tell that issue #7 is going to be full of hugging and crying and everyone coming to terms with what’s just happened (Well, that and writing Earth-2 Superman out of continuity again). Given the year-plus of build-up that led to this issue, a feeling of anti-climax was all but guaranteed, but the action scenes in here were badly-paced and unclear, making it feel even more disappointing than it should have been. The more I think about this series as a whole, though, the more I like it, in particular the way that Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman have been dealing with their particular issues – Batman’s breakdown in issue 3 leading him to try and be a team player this issue, for example, or Wonder Woman’s confrontation with Earth-2 Wonder Woman last issue. The death of Superboy is a cheap ploy, and an unnecessary one – all of the heroes get to have more guilt, even though it’ll remind them what it means to be a hero, yadda yadda – because the quieter scenes have been the more effective ones here all along. The problem with this series, I think, has been that it’s been trying to do too much (the Spectre scene in this issue doesn’t advance the larger plot, because it has nothing to do with either the emotional or dramatic core of the series; it’s just there to justify the Day of Judgement miniseries) and not sticking with what Geoff Johns really seems to want to write. Or maybe I’m just reading into things based upon what I like. Okay, anyway.

NIGHTWING #119: Jeff and Brian handed me this book on Friday with a warning that the last panel was so incredibly disturbing that it single-handedly took what was already a slightly disturbingly bad book to a whole new level of ick. I believe the phrase “sloppy seconds” may have been uttered by Lester, in fact. Surprisingly, though, it wasn’t the tired “Jason Todd is trying to be Dick Grayson so much that he’s coming onto Dick’s one night stand-turned-boss!” non-cliffhanger that left the taste of vomit in my mouth as much as it was Bruce Jones’s general misogyny; all the women in this book either fall of Dick Grayson’s feet or else try to fuck him in a basement after giving him a job, while spouting dialogue so realistic that NBC’s popular sitcom “Joey” looks like a hard-hitting documentary about the sordid life of today’s actor elite in Los Angeles. I’m beginning to suspect that Bruce Jones may have some blackmail material on editor Nachie Castro that makes sure that some of this stuff sees print. Ass, and offensively so.

THE OMAC PROJECT: INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL: In which Greg Rucka doesn’t just get to write one version of his traditional hard-assed hyper-capable woman who is in some way emotionally wounded, but two – Sasha Bordeaux, I expected considering her role from the OMAC Project mini-series, but the retcon that Fire from the comedy JLI was actually just pretending to be a bimbo for no immediately apparent reason back then and is, in fact, a highly-trained killer makes me think that Rucka has forgotten how to write any other type of female character (I’m not sure if Amanda Waller, who’s here to set up the new Checkmate series, counts, as she’s more or less reduced to a Barking Orders Generic Authority Figure for this issue). Money-making properties aside, I’m not sure why this book exists; the plot is as simple as “We have to switch off Brother Eye before he sets off an international incident!” “Okay!” “Phew, that was close!” with a side of “Hey, do you know we’re doing a new Checkmate series?” and the undoing of Sasha’s cyborg status, which was the one thing from the OMAC Project that seemed to be long-lasting… So… Okay? I guess someone probably liked it, somewhere. Eh for me, though.

SUPERMAN #651: Still One Year Later, and Kurt Busiek and Geoff Johns continue to impress with their take on where everyone in the world of Superman is at these days – The cliffhanger from last month’s Action leads to a couple of character beats that seem to throw a couple of potential future wrenches into where we all know the story is going, future bad guys are introduced, and the larger plot zigs instead of zags (Or maybe I’m the only one who expected Metallo to join in Lex’s army of supervillains). And that’s not even going near the return of the Prankster, who didn’t even annoy me as much as he normally does, so someone’s obviously doing something right (and not just Pete Woods, who is still putting out some great stuff). Good, and if anything, I’m even more curious now as to how and why Clark is going to get his powers back.

SUPER-SKRULL #1: Again, plot-mechanics take priority here as certain people act wildly out of character – Reed Richards would learn about a threat to the Earth and be content to let the Super-Skrull go into the Negative Zone on his own? Really? – just to get everyone where they need to be for the purposes of the story. Art that’s too cartoony for the story and cliched narration (“Because of the way I use my power, some consider me a villain. Others call me a hero.”) don’t help things any, and the net result for your worries turns out to be something entirely Crap.

YOUNG AVENGERS #11: I know that Jeff liked the way that this issue ties in with the rest of the Marvel Universe, but this issue felt like uncomfortable exposition central to me. This book has gone from being tied to Marvel history to being tied down by it, with all the potential of the first six issues being lost in a mess of continuity retcons and House of M tie-ins, and the shift to bimonthly status has shed whatever remained of the initial momentum. Just as the first arc of this book was the most promising launch of a Marvel book since Astonishing X-Men, so has the second arc been the biggest letdown. God, that’s depressing. Crap, sadly.

PICK OF THE WEEK is Superman, because Kurt Busiek wins, of course. PICK OF THE WEAK is Nightwing, because it’s one of those comics that you read and immediately wish that you could scrub your brain clean afterwards. The Showcase Presents Teen Titans collection was supposed to have come out this week, even if I couldn’t find it, and there’s no way that Bob Haney could’ve let me down with his 500-odd pages of desperately-trying-to-be-hep 60s lingo. That said, Brian Wood’s The Tourist graphic novel came out from Image this week, and between Toby Cypress’s incredible art and a story that takes place close to where I went to college, I find myself drawn to giving that my vote for Trade of The Week.

Next week: All-Star Batman #4 is due out, only four months since the last issue, and NBC finds themselves in a lawsuit from Disney based on the video linked above. I, for one, can’t wait.

Arriving 4/12

Jeff had it right that I'm out of the reviewing game this week (though, Ironically, had he not posted reviews I would have had forced myself to post SOMETHING tonight, just to avoid dead-air. Ladies and Gentlemen: Jeff Lester, His Own Worst Enemy!) (Right now, he's shaking his fist at me, muttering "Curse you, Hibbs!" And he's right, too!)

I'll actually be writing TILTING tomorrow moring. I have No Good Idea, as of this moment. I'm sure I'll wake up tomorrow with SOMEthing, but tonight? Not so much.

I will use this space to be a total old-school gamer, though, and tell you about the Ultima 5 (http://www.uo.com/archive/ultima5/) conversion/expansion for Dungeon Siege by the U5 Lazarus Project -- http://www.u5lazarus.com/

Dungeon Siege and Ultima are, pretty much, drastic worlds apart, and the way this all-volunteer team has adapted Ultima to the DS engine is nothing short of spectacular, frankly. It "feels" like an Ultima, and I haven't "felt" that way in a real damn long time.

u5 was oringally... well, stick figures, basically. So having the fully rotatable 3-D environment to see the Ultima world in is pretty cool.

It took, apparantly, 5 years for the volunteer team to do the conversion, and DS has gone from being a big hit to "oh yeah, that game was kinda fun" -- I'm pretty sure you can buy a retail boxed copy for like $10 -- and the Lazarus conversion is 100% free.

It's pretty much the coolest thing I've ever downloaded from the internet, if you ask me.

100 BULLETS #71 2000 AD #1478 2000 AD #1479 30 DAYS OF NIGHT DEAD SPACE #3 (OF 3) ACTION PHILOSOPHERS HATE THE FRENCH ALBION #4 (OF 6) ALICE IN WONDERLAND #3 (OF 4) AMAZING ADVENTURES OF THE JLA AMERICAN VIRGIN #2 ANNIHILATION SUPER SKRULL #1 (OF 4) ARCHIE #565 ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #169 BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #203 BATMAN STRIKES #20 BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #3 (OF 4) BATTLE POPE COLOR #7 (wasn't #6 last week?) BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #112 BONEYARD #21 BPRD UNIVERSAL MACHINE #1 (OF5) CABLE DEADPOOL #27 CAPTAIN ATOM ARMAGEDDON #7 (OF 9) CASEFILES SAM & TWITCH #23 CRISIS AFTERMATH THE BATTLE FOR BLUDHAVEN #1 (OF 6) DESOLATION JONES #6 DMZ #6 ESCAPE OF THE LIVING DEAD WRAPAROUND CVR #5 (OF 5) EXILES #79 FABLES #48 FANTASTIC FOUR FIRST FAMILY #2 (OF 6) FIRESTORM THE NUCLEAR MAN #24 FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #7 GIRLS #12 GREEN ARROW #61 GRIMM FAIRY TALES #5 HI HI PUFFY AMIYUMI #3 (OF 3) JANES WORLD #24 JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #243 LOVELESS #6 MAJESTIC #16 MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR #11 MARVEL ROMANCE REDUX RESTRAINING ORDERS ARE FOR OTHER GIRLS (this is #3 of, I think, 5) (why they can't just call it "#3", I do not know) MS MARVEL #2 NEW X-MEN #25 NIGHT CLUB #3 (OF 4) NIGHTWING #119 NOBLE CAUSES #19 PORTENT #2 (OF 4) SHAOLIN COWBOY DARROW CVR #5 SON OF M #5 (OF 6) STAR WARS BOBA FETT ONE SHOT STAR WARS REBELLION #1 STRANGERS IN PARADISE #81 SUPER BAD JAMES DYNOMITE #2 SUPERMAN #651 TAILS #3 (OF 3) THUNDERBOLTS #101 TRANSFORMERS INFILTRATION #4 ULTIMATE EXTINCTION #4 (OF 5) ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #93 UNCANNY X-MEN #472 WARREN ELLIS BLACK GAS WRAPAROUND #2 WILDCATS NEMESIS #8 (OF 9) X-MEN THE 198 #4 (OF 5)

Book / Mag / Stuff ALEX TP ANIMATION MAGAZINE MAY 2006 #160 ASTONISHING X-MEN VOL 1 HC BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE TP BATTLE POPE COLOR VOL 1 GENESIS TP (wasn't #6 last week?) CHICKEN FAT SC COMICS JOURNAL #275 CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS NOVEL TP DRAW #12 FEMME FATALES FEB MAR 2006 VOL 15 #1 & 2 FORTEAN TIMES #208 FREAK SHOW TP FRESHMEN TP G FAN #75 GHOST OF HOPPERS A LOVE & ROCKETS BOOK HC HARDY BOYS VOL 5 SEA YOU SEA ME GN HELLBOY VOL 6 STRANGE PLACES TP IRON MAN DEMON IN A BOTTLE TP JUDGE DREDD COMPLETE CASE FILES VOL 2 TP KODT BUNDLE OF TROUBLE VOL 17TP LEES TOY REVIEW APR 2006 #162 LITTLE STAR TP MAD KIDS #3 NAMELESS DIRECTORS CUT TP NANCY DREW VOL 5 THE FAKE HEIR GN OH MY GODDESS VOL 2 RTL TP ORIGINAL BONDAGE FAIRIES VOL 1 TP (A) PAST LIES GN PRISM COMICS LGBT GUIDE TO COMICS MAGAZINE 2006 (we got this last week, why are we getting it a second time?) RIDDLERS FAYRE VOL 1 VAULTS OF THE MIND HC SANDMAN PAPERS GN SCHOOL ZONE VOL 1 TP SHOWCASE PRESENTS TEEN TITANSVOL 1 TP STREETS OF DUBLIN SC SUPERMAN ARCHIVES VOL 7 HC TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #144 TOURIST GN TOYFARE MARVEL LEGENDS X-MEN CVR #106 WRITE NOW #12 X-23 INNOCENCE LOST TP X-MEN COMPLETE AGE OF APOCALYPSE EPIC BOOK 3 TP YOUNG AVENGERS VOL 1 SIDEKICKS TP

I don't know what I'm doing with the ASSHAT OF THE WEEK feature, since no one really said anything when I skipped a couple of them. But I do know I have one for you today: Robert Kirkman, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, it's not that that's the latest item shipping this week (there was something with a JUN code, that I only ordered a single copy of) (which is why I stopped reporting them -- Only really fun when it is someone you've heard of, right Mr. Schadenfreude?), it is that, ONCE AGAIN, Kirkman is short-shipping a book to bam out the paperback.

I mean, fuck me blind.

I don't know if Robert still reads the blog (he used to when he was breaking in -- he sent me email once upon a time), but dude, seriously, you can't do that. I don't know, it was like you were thinking that you "had" to have the BATTLE POPE trade out for Easter? But, really, you didn't (and you're going to Hell for thinking you did, young man)

[If you do read the blog still, or someone points you to this, contact me -- I'm pretty sure I can explain to you just how harmful your publishing pratices are.]

Anyway, what do you think about this week's pile o' books?

-B

I Knew This Would Happen...Jeff's Review of 04/05/06 Books.

I knew that sooner or later my weekend job would get extra-busy and piledrive me into the ground, and, of course, it happened on the same weekend as APE. And since Graeme didn't make it into the store Friday, I thought it unlikely he'd be posting his reviews over the weekend. (I don't know for sure, but I sort of imagine Graeme making his way around APE and the various parties over the weekend, mingling with the comix hoi-polloi. If so, maybe he'll get a chance to grace us with a report? Hey, I can dream, right?) And, of course, Brian's busy and preoccupied and, unless I'm remembering his schedule incorrectly, probably has a Tilting that he's working on this week.

But can I let this site lie fallow? No! Can I remember a damned thing about the comics I read on Friday? No! I mean, uh, mmmmaybe.... Let's see.

ANNIHILATION SILVER SURFER #1: Are all the chapters of this Annihilation epic going to look so scratchy? What happened to the Joe Sinnott-style Silver Surfer, who looked liked he'd been sculpted from buttery-smooth marble? It would suit some of the old-school style Surfer anguish being bandied about here, as he and other former Galactus herald Gabriel find themselves trying to distinguish the mass destruction seen here as different from what they used to enable during their glory days. I'm inclined toward Eh but that might change depending on how things develop.

DETECTIVE COMICS #818: The Ventriloquist is one of the few Batman villains created in the last twenty years that really seemed to stick. So if he's really been offed, as apparently happens here, just to make Two-Face seem like more of a badass, well, I think that's a really stupid move. Parts of this, combined with those One Year Later ads that show the bloodiest parts of the Infinite Crisis storyline, make me worry that the post-IC universe is going to be very, very Geoff Johns-ish, where the heroes are good and noble, and everyone else is going to be tortured within an inch of their lives. Yes, yes: all of you wishing to send me "Well, duh" emails, please form a line to the left. OK.

INFINITE CRISIS #6: There were some really cool bits here and there--all those earths and Luthor's glance at Earth-Prime which the artists nailed perfectly came to mind--but the whole thing is logging down with Superboy-itis. Why did weird stuff happen in the DCU? Superboy punched stuff. Why did a bunch of second string Teen Titans die and the Speedforce disappear? Superboy punched them. How does Luthor's impenetrable tower topple? Two Superboys punch into it. Is this a way to give the Siegel family a bunch of money since the entire miniseries spins around the actions of Superboy(s)? That'd be swell of DC, but it doesn't seem likely, does it? Eh, and, hey, what was up with that Black Adam-Psycho-Pirate scene? I mean, the fuck.

JONAH HEX #6: Supposed to be a wild, plot-spinning ride but it felt a little too hyper to me, like two isues jammed into one. I would've been more touched by Jonah's reunion with his long-lost love if I hadn't still been trying to figure out the whole plague-Apache-nuns-outlaw angle. The nuns are outlaws who fake a plague to keep the Apaches at bay, maybe? But...uh, why? Eh.

MARVEL TEAM-UP #19: I'm just enough of a Marvel fanboy to appreciate the idea of the Mandarin making a new ring out of a cosmic cube shard. I'm trying to think if there's been a single arc on this title I haven't ended up underwhelmed by, though. OK, but I'm pessimistic.

MARVEL ZOMBIES #5: Had almost none of the darkly amusing horror that made the previous issues so striking, and the undead superhero/supervillain fight felt like something Kirkman pulled out of his ass to either (a) pad out pages; or (b) delay his original ending to milk another miniseries out of this. And wouldn't that ending have had some punch if we hadn't seen the Marvel heroes chowing down on Galactus a few pages earlier? Just when Kirkman's almost proved me wrong to view all of his Marvel work as cynical hackwork, he busts out the ultra-cynical hacky ending. Awful issue, and dragged the whole endeavor down to Eh for me.

MOON KNIGHT #1: I really liked that reversal--didn't see it coming at all. The narration reads less like an authentic monologue and more like a chance for the writer to show us, honest, he's a fan of the character and he's done his homework--like a slightly klutzier Brad Meltzer--but the hook caught me. Let's see where it goes from here. Good.

OMAC PROJECT INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL: Hibbs really disagreed with me, but this struck me as pooped out--although whether I mean that in the sense of "completely exhausted" or "fell out of somebody's butt" even I can't rightly say. Sasha is capable of being taken over by the OMAC satellite so she doesn't feel like it's a problem that she's the only one investigating the very same satellite? Hello, my name is Jeff Lester and I'm today's loser on 'Suspend Your Disbelief!' And unless Sasha's whining about how all the other heroes are dissing her is Rucka's clumsy attempt to bring DC Countdown full circle, I'd say that tune's a little played. Awful.

PUNISHER #32: The rich Masters of the Universe and the poor killers of color--if only this was being written by Tom Wolfe! Like last issue, I'm digging the art but kinda can't help but see one little flaw after another--the end of this issue would be evocative if not for the opening of the previous issue, it seems like. Eh, but you may feel differently, one way or the other.

REVOLUTION ON THE PLANET OF THE APES #3: An Ape-head like me really appreciates the love and respect this series is giving the original set of films, but each issue feels slight to me--as if they didn't have enough money to pay the artists for a full issue and kept wedging in text pieces to get by. I want this to succeed so badly, I can't tell if my OK is actually too optimistic or too pessimistic. I'm enjoying it but not loving it, is what I'm saying. But then, I didn't lay down a hundred-twenty-plus bones for the DVD complete edition, so obviously I'm a poseur...

TEEN TITANS #34: I thought Marvin and Wendy were funny, dammit. (And I assume that's one of the Wonder Twins robbing a bank.) But how many issues until Black Adam gouges their eyes out? Four? Five? Even worse, the strongest and most consistent hook this book had was Superboy and Wonder Girl's relationship--since that's now gone, I'm gonna need another emotional hook and pronto. Trying to second-guess who's in The Doom Patrol doesn't really cut it. OK.

THUNDERBOLT JAXON #3: Huh. I thought things would be a little further along by now. Bummer. Eh.

YOUNG AVENGERS #11: That Heinberg can mesh his story with so tightly with Marvel continuity without making it feel constricted by that continuity is a remarkable achievement. That Patriot is so dumb he takes a shot for the one Avenger who has a shield is also remarkable. Still, a high Good and my PICK OF THE WEEK.

PICK OF THE WEAK: I think maybe Mr. Rucka has burnt himself out on the DCU or something. OMAC PROJECT INFINITE CRISIS SPECIAL was so bad, I couldn't believe he wrote it.

TRADE PICK: Bupkis. I didn't delve into the week's selections very deeply, however. Someone'll come along with a good recommendation, I'm sure.

MANGA FIX: DEATH NOTE, volumes 2 and 3. Ohba and Obata have done a great job of crafting an absurdly effective cat-and-mouse tale with some genuinely creepy scenes. It's a little silly in its not-so-subtle-teen-pandering (The world's greatest detective! The world's deadliest killer! And they're both starting college!) but the way the creators take their premise and play it out is really, really enjoyable. Great stuff.

There. That'll give you something to chew on (at least until Graeme posts twenty minutes from now...). Now I can go read Jog and The X-Axis...

One Year (and a month) Later

So, listen, I’m not sure if I’m the perfect audience (long-time DC fan) or the deadly worst audience (long-time DC fan) for this kind of stunt – every “jumping on” point is equally a “jumping off” point, after all. Some mechanical stuff, first, I think… that “One Year Later” logo looks disturbingly like the “DC Bullet” doesn’t it? Plus, I’m of the mind that it was misplaced, in most cases. “Most” stores either rack with an overlapping top-to-bottom, or with overlapping left-to-right (We’re in the latter group) – this means that the single most valuable piece of “real estate” on the cover is the top left hand corner. Sadly, most of the OYL books have the logo in the middle-right… basically a terrible spot for the logo to “pop” off the cover. A banner would almost certainly have been more effective.

Now, sure, that’s almost moot, because pretty much all of the books sold out on the national level, but still, it’s basic Event Design.

Some (HI, D.G.!) have suggested that, perhaps, DC knowingly “under-printed” the OYL books, in order to get week after week of press releases out of it. While I find the rapid sell-outs at DC to be pretty fucking sad lately, I can’t go all the way to “on purpose”. Why? Because that would be FUCKING STUPID. If you don’t have stock on hand WHEN people come looking for it, then you’ve blown your best chance for a new reader. I also don’t believe that press releases on Newsarama (or whatever) really do jack shit for selling comic books (sorry, Matt!) – the people who regularly visit sites like that are either in the business (I personally check the major sites 3-5 times a day), or are the “Heavy Users” – those people who are already buying huge scary stacks of funny books, and who aren’t moving the needle very much on big events. They are ALREADY ON BOARD.

On-the-ground demand has been pretty heavy for the OYL stuff. I pegged most books at +20%, but, on most titles, I should have gone +30-50%.

What will be interesting is how much of this “growth” sticks at all – what is unclear is if these are OYL buyers, or if they’re genuine “samplers”, and, thus, how many of them will come back. When you add the crazy “Who The Fuck Knows” nature of the upcoming weekly “52”, it could well be an insane roller-coaster of trying to order DC comics in the next few months…

Speaking as a long-time DC fan (over 31 years of loving those characters), I’ve felt pretty cold to a lot of the OYL changes. Why? Well, part of it, I think, is that the “DC Universe” isn’t just about plot points, but about the accretion of familiarity and affection over a long period of time. Monthly hero comics are more like Soap Operas, than not, and there’s a certain amount of staidness I want as a reader. Superhero universes are sort of the equivalent of “comfort food” – Chicken Soup with Stars, or something.

OYL, of course, is trying very hard to not be Chicken Soup with Stars – several of the books seem like they’re trying to be Beef, Mango, and Rice soup, if you understand my metaphor – but even switching to Chicken with NOODLES would have been a big change, you know what I mean? The upheaval of the status quo means that the DCU isn’t (to change metaphors, suddenly) a comfortable old pair of shoes any longer – I don’t like the fit and feel of some of these new designs.

Ultimately, OYL makes us ALL strangers to the DCU – my 31 years of patronage really don’t seem to mean much any more than your “I just started reading with INFINITE CRISIS” tenure. Now, I’m sure Dan Didio will really embrace that – clean starting place for everyone, and all – but I tend to suspect that in the medium-run, it is going to be the long-term DC readers that will continue to be the largest portion of DC’s revenues, and that a significant percentage of the Grazers will wander back to their traditional pastures.

Part of the reason for that is that there’s really only 2 ways to do a OYL comic – either you a) completely shake up the status quo, so the book might as well be an all-new #1 anyway, or b) make it a mystery (“How did things get to be like THIS?!?!”) that makes filling in the backstory the driving narrative thrust. Problem is that mysteries get tired after a point (I suppose it is just possible for it to last, say, a year – but I think 6-9 months is about all of the patience that the audience is going to have.) (especially given how many books this is touching)

What I find… interesting? Ironic? Is that, so far, I’d call the largest successes of OYL to be the core Batman and Superman books, AS THEY (seemingly) TAKE THOSE CHARACTERS BACK TO THEIR PRE-EVENT STATUSES. The “un-Asshatting” of Batman, in particular, is both long-over due (I think he’s probably been going the wrong direction since, jeez “Knightfall” maybe? Though it really reached peak in “War Games” and “Omac”). Given that the universe probably rises or falls on the Big Icons, this is a positive and hopeful sign.

But, perhaps

Let’s get into individual titles, shall we?

Start with the Batman books. As alluded above, I thought DETECTIVE #817 was VERY GOOD, with BATMAN #651 probably in the GOOD range (there was some padding, I thought, on the latter)

CATWOMAN #53: used it’s OYL jump well, I thought – it really does feel like a year has past, but even older events are still relevant. I do think that it should be obvious to anyone (even, yes, the sad Angle Man) that Holly and Selina have different builds, but I guess that is comic books. Still, a promising new start: GOOD

NIGHTWING #118: Pure shit, as Dick seems as out of character as can be, and as editorial idiocy reveals the JT thing in the next issue box, but never mentions it in the comic book itself. Sad that he’s here, too – the story as left at the end of “Under the Hood” wouldn’t haven’t suggested this path to me. I’m also kinda annoyed that #117 ended with “Babs, will you marry me?” and #118 begins with Dick banging some anonymous redhead. Feh. CRAP.

ROBIN #148: Aside from the very very very clumsily staged opening (and thus the short-term plot of the book), I liked this more than I’ve liked the book in some time. Still, just OK

The Superman books were great, giving both SUPERMAN #650 and ACTION #837 VERY GOODs (though the latter sorta spoils IC #6, doesn’t it?)

SUPERGIRL #7: Oh, wait, this hasn’t come out yet. Ooops. I thought that was the whole point of shortening the Loeb run? For that matter, is #25 of SUPERMAN/BATMAN (though not OYL) going to come out in anything like a rational schedule, as it relates to INFINITE CRISIS?

Then into the general DCU…

AQUAMAN: SWORD OF ATLANTIS #40: Suffered a bit from ugly-in-places art, and there’s the somewhat…well, I don’t know, “derivative”? No, that’s not it… “Know ye, O Prince” narration, but this was probably the most like what I expected from OYL books – a radical rethinking of the base concept, and a strong new direction. I’ll go with a solid GOOD. Oh, and now that I’ve gotten home from unpacking the new comics, and have read #41 as well, yeah, AQUAMAN is what all of the OYL should have been, in theory.

BIRDS OF PREY #92: A bit clumsy, I thought – the Black Canary pages seemed like they belonged in another book, and I didn’t understand the “Jade Canary” thing, since Shiva wasn’t wearing that color. But, at least, Babs wasn’t running around in costume with her legs perfectly back (my biggest fear). A solid, if somewhat confusing OK.

BLOOD OF THE DEMON #13: Almost certainly the weakest of the OYL books – it felt like I missed 1, maybe 2 issues, not a whole year. No way this will make it past #24. Either a low EH or a high AWFUL.

BLUE BEETLE #1: OK, so not technically OYL (in fact, half of it was “pre-Crisis” – I guess Superboy punched something to explain the differences between the origin here and in IC), but, still it seems to fit. While I pretty much hate that new costume, and I’m very very confused as to powers (holding off a GL? Really?), I thought the human set up and reactions were pretty right on, and that this was a real enjoyable read. A very solid VERY GOOD, and a possible contender for PICK OF THE WEEK status.

FIRESTORM THE NUCLEAR MAN #23: I was a little dismayed that 1 issue after bringing back Prof Stein, he’s already gone, but the Firehawk thing was kinda cute, so there you go. Oddly, the was the sole OYL book for us that sold LESS copies than the previous issue. Couldn’t tell you why, however. Maybe too many changes too fast? I liked it OK.

GREEN ARROW #60: The first of the “did you see your own cover, man?” issues, wasting 22 pages to tell us what we already knew before we even opened the comic. Maybe it is me, but this also seems like the most unlikely/compelling OYL change. I mean, EX MACHINA works because it very much isn’t about super-heroes – I can’t possibly seeing GA either being believable or sustainable with the concept. Like when Luthor was President – that shit just didn’t WORK. I’ll go with a very weakly stated EH, close to AWFUL

GREEN LANTERN #10: Worked fine to give the sense that a geopolitical year has passed. Am very very worried about the “Sinestro Corps” idea. Wasn’t fond of the “Hal was a POW thing”, really, because wouldn’t one of a dozen other characters have come and rescued him? I’ll give it to Geoff, though, because this does allow him to neatly sidestep the tendency to make OYL stories a mystery ABOUT the lost year. I’m split between a very high OK and a very low GOOD though.

HAWKGIRL #50: Woof. That was…. Not very good. Between the art that was far too often phoned in stock poses and layout, and a script that seemed to be written to 8 year olds (“and then…” “…the lights went out!” ), this was almost an epic misfire. Or maybe I was anticipating it too much? Truly AWFUL.

JSA #83: Wait, a year passed? Honestly, it feels like Just Another Issue of JSA. I’m like a mad crazy JSA fan – on display in the store is a custom set of Matt Wagner JSA sketches (I’m, what, 6 short of the full set?), I was the biggest retailer booster of the characters at RRPs over the years, etc. – but, man, I just don’t care about the book any longer. And there’s a spin-off title too, yeesh. I’m Jumping Off here because it was just EH, just like JSA has been for nigh on a year (or more) now. (#84, which I just read tonight, cements that – double EH)

JSA CLASSIFIED #10: Much the same rant, with the addition that I like Paul Gulacy’s art on many things, but not on Superhero comics. On the very low end of EH.

MANHUNTER #20: Surprised me how much it felt connected to the (DC) Universe it actually felt. Problem is I still don’t find the base character to be all that compelling. OK

OUTSIDERS #34: Blech. Pretty much the only time “covert action” and “super heroes” has ever worked was in John Ostrander’s SUICIDE SQUAD. This is no SUICIDE SQUAD. AWFUL.

SUPERGIRL & THE LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #16: Like GREEN ARROW, working to it’s last page, despite the cover. On the other hand, because the legion has changed a lot, and this might be the introduction of the “new characters” for a large # of people following Supergirl, that’s not necessarily a bad thing in this case. Still, “I’m dreaming you” better have something to back it up, Toot Sweet, cuz the next year being “is it? Isn’t it?” might just be too much to bear. Still, generally GOOD.

TEEN TITANS #34: I’m squeaking this in because I unloaded the comics today, and had time to read it. It didn’t ship in OYL month 1. (which, might I add, had 5 weeks in it!) Lots of big changes, but it looks like it is going route “b) make it a mystery (“How did things get to be like THIS?!?!”) that makes filling in the backstory the driving narrative thrust” with Vic as our POV character. What I will say is that I by and large think that TITANS is not X-MEN, and having former enemies join the teams as members just doesn’t work for this book. (despite not having read the next 4-6 issues!). Having said that, I liked quite a lot of this – especially the time-compressed first 3 pages from Vic’s POV, and I’ll be charitable and go with a low GOOD.

MM, that’s it then.

Hrm, for this week’s books (3/29) I liked ALL-STAR SUPERMAN #3 or BLUE BEETLE #1 or X-STATIX PRESENTS DEAD GIRL #3 or FALLEN ANGEL #4 as my PICK OF THE WEEK. Listed in order of If-You-Held-A-Gun-To-My-Head, but take your pick, they were all terrif.

For the PICK OF THE WEAK I’m going to go with IRON MAN #6, not because it was that bad, really, but, because after the year and a half, or whatever it was, it left me saying “And that’s it?”

My TP/GN OF THE WEEK is the softcover of TRAILERS from NBM. Terrific little book with art by the love child of David Lapham and Terry Moore. Big-time recommended!

What did you think?

-B