Jeff on the Late Freight: Some Thoughts on The Return of Fin Fang Four and Muppet Show #3

Hey, you don't mind me writing about two Roger Langridge comics, one of which came out months ago, do you?

(If you do, don't click the link!)

FIN FANG 4 RETURN: I dug the original one-shot (from 2005? Fuck a duck!) but wasn't really sure if the characters were strong enough to merit a follow-up, frankly: not only are we lucky enough to see much more Langridge in the marketplace now than in 2005, but we're also seeing him on a licensed property to which he's almost perfectly matched. As much as I love the way Gray and Langridge handle Marvel continuity (it reads like it's written by someone who read everything Marvel published up until 1968, and then kept a pretty close eye on things until 1978, before finally saying to hell with it), all the initial juice for this concept, that of classic Marvel monsters re-emerging in modern times and trying to fit in, seemed used up in the first go-round.

And, honestly, the first twenty pages or so make a pretty convincing case for this viewpoint. The four main characters are re-introduced in an opening story that barely shows them together, and then rest of the issue is divided into short pieces for each individual character: it smacks of back-up pieces being reconfigured for a one-shot (r maybe just of an attempt to get another note out of a one-note concept. Although the first few stories have typical top-notch cartooning from Langridge (who gets more characterization out of Fin Fang Foom's eyes and lips than Salvador Larocca has managed to forcibly wrestle into his entire oeuvre), I was pretty bored.

Fortunately, the last three stories pick up the pace (and, probably just as importantly to me, the amusing continuity shout-outs) as Googam gets adopted by the richest woman in the world, Elektro the robot gets mistaken for the Spider-Man villain and ends up in the "S-Wing" of prison, and Fin Fang Foom fights Hydra for the fate of Christmas.

I'd like to think it's more than the dinner bell of Marvel continuity making my Pavlovian chops salivate: the Googam and Elektro stories have more than one gear to them, keeping moments small until the stories blow up big and crazy at the end, and the Fin Fang Foom story benefits from coming after these two smaller pieces. But if pressed, I'd also say that, yeah, having a Latverian nanny instruct Googam on all the many joys of her beloved homeland ("...Lake Doom was created in 1983 when ze Doom Dam was built as the ze mouth of Doom River...") or having Herbie the Robot act like a big douche really aided and abetted in my enjoyment of this book. Also, for what it's worth, I thought the colors by J. Brown were lovely throughout and exceptional on the final story, which takes place at twilight on Times Square--rather than playing up the Christmas angle, Brown pulls in purples, pinks and oranges to give the events a feeling of happening at dusk. Nice work, that.

So: it's not Langridge's Muppet Show, but I was won over by the second Fin Fang Four one-shot and would give it a GOOD, with the caveat that your love of anachronistic Marvel continuity may easily make or break this one for you.

MUPPET SHOW #3: Speaking of which...can I be a doomsayer for a minute and talk about why I'll be surprised if Muppet Robin Hood ends up working? It's not just that Boom! has found itself in the could-be-worse situation of having to do a follow-up to a miniseries (that has already found the perfect creator) with a team different from aforementioned perfect creator, it's that the Muppets themselves aren't nearly as enjoyable featured in long-form narratives as they are in bits and pieces. After the big origin story of The Muppet Movie, each movie goes on to feel a bit more uninspired until they fall into the position of having Muppets prop up public domain classics (and vice-versa).

The Muppets are at their best when encountered in bits and pieces, as on their show and Sesame Street, where they can quickly set up a situation, just as quickly blow that situation to pieces, and move on to the next situation before anything risks becoming dull. If there's one emotion I'd associate with the damn things (nothing is more humbling than typing Muppets twenty times in two paragraphs), it's delight, and delight, like Chinese food, works best when it's served hot and fresh: if left out long enough to get cold and cloying, one's impression of the whole experience suffers.

And this is--as if we're not all tired of reading and typing this--why Roger Langridge is so perfectly matched to this material. The third issue of this series focuses on the mystery of what, exactly, the Great Gonzo is (a subject that's been covered by other Muppet properties, as I recall) but what works is that this focus is given marginally more attention than the skits themselves, some of which focus on Gonzo (or on the theme of perceived identity) and some of which just have top-notch funny drawings. If you don't like a particular sketch, it's gone in a page or two; if you do like a particular sketch, your affection for the work carries you through the next sketch or two you might not like. It's more than the old "throw-everything-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks" approach: Langridge mixes up pacing, panel placement, joke payoffs, all while throwing in regular two page routines from the show to keep the reader off-guard, all to heighten the surprise and, yes, delight.

There are very few people in the industry who've worked for so long to deliver their work in such variation as Langridge (although does it mark me as too much of a buffoon to say I'd love to see what Eddie Campbell could do writing the characters?) so I pity who tries to take on the Muppets next, no matter what the length they're attempting. But full-length miniseries? I hope the creative teams figure out a helluva good way to change up the tempo. A lot. The Muppets are damn demanding little dance partners.

(Oh, and VERY GOOD stuff, obviously.)

Lonely

I don't think I've mentioned here that Ben and Tzipora are off in Israel to visit Tzipora's parents -- they've been gone for 11 days now (yes, during my birthday and Father's Day), and I still have 17 days alone to go.

I've been starting to get depressed over the last few days -- I've done all the cleaning chores, and blown through the laughs to be had in doing what I want when I want, and now I'm just feeling lonely and desperately wanting to hold my wife and child in my arms.

We're talking every day, via Skype, which certainly helps in seeing their faces and all (I'm able to keep reading to Ben nearly every day -- we just started book 12 of A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS), but, still, this is getting to be harder than I thought it would be, earlier on.

Working every day AND having to do all of the cooking/cleaning/shopping/whatever is also a big shift. Call me a big 'ol baby, but I haven't been single... well, since I was like 17 (and I'm 42 now), so I don't really know what being a bachelor is like, and I find myself getting exhausted, both physically and emotionally, earlier every day.

See, I sorta thought when they were gone I'd have MORE time for posting and stuff, but, perversely, it seems like I have LESS, and by the end of each day I just want to sit there and veg out. *sigh*

Anyway, if I seem gloomy (or, maybe more gloomy than normal), that's the reason...

Reviews... Let's get started! (Hm, of course I just got the call the truck is coming in under 30 minutes while I started typing, so let's see where I get)

RICHARD STARK'S PARKER: THE HUNTER HC: One of the rare perks of owning a comics shop is getting advance copies of stuff. Super-generally I don't bother reviewing any of it before the books actually arrive in the store (why get people all excited if they can't do anything about it), but I'm more than willing to make an exception in this case.

Damn, was that EXCELLENT.

I mean, no surprise, right? Darwyn Cooke is obviously a major talent, and this kind of gritty period piece is absolutely playing to the core of his strengths, but the main thing is that you can SEE it is a labor of love, that his heart and soul is there on every page.

I love the wonderful two-tone art, the character designs, the choreography, and just everything about it. This is a major work from a major talent and deserves a very prominent place on your book shelf when it comes out at the end of next month. Hell, buy two, you must have a friend who could get into this, too.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #600: Y'know, no matter what I have to say about this as a retailer who is watching out for my rights, it DID sell well, and it was a good solid value at 100 pages. The main story was, perhaps, a little too set-up-y for REBORN, but I quite liked the Stern and Waid stories, and the Golden Age reprint was a hoot (though, really, why was the Red Skull wearing a rising sun on his chest for half the story? That was weird). If every comic gave that kind of story value, no one would be bitching about comics prices... a solid GOOD.

Oh, frack, the truck is here already. More, I hope, tomorrow...

What did YOU think?

-B

Abhay: GUS AND HIS GANG by Chris Blain

On account of the whole “busy” thing, I’ve missed out on most of the Big Books of the Year so far. And on account of the whole “$4! For what???” thing, I’ve missed out on most of the mainstream, too. Halfway into the year, I think my favorite book so far is probably GUS AND HIS GANG by Chris Blain, published by First Second. Hell, not even a 2009 book, released in 2008, already definitively and thoroughly reviewed by my betters, placing the following somewhere between drastically unnecessary and deeply embarrassing, really. Now up for an Eisner Award in the category of Best Book No One Cares Won an Eisner. The nomination is well deserved for the art alone; perfectly paced, expressive, *funny*, fast-moving. Enormously pleasurable. But: I liked the story, too, I think, in case that matters especially (it doesn’t).

The premise: three cowboys, robbing banks, getting into adventures, violently dealing with a variety of enemies. None of which ends up mattering very much, none of which the book is particularly about. The cowboys don’t really care about being cowboys; it’s a French comic— the cowboys are just interested in girls.

Westerns. Why do you think “the Western is dead”? The chattering class says that every so often, when some minor movie like Russell Crowe’s dopey 3:10 TO YUMA remake fails at the box office. “The Western is dead.”

A common sub-species is to claim some great movie ended it, usually Clint Eastwood’s UNFORGIVEN. “UNFORGIVEN ended the Western, and now the Western is dead.” I don’t know that I understand that. UNFORGIVEN might say “the traditional Western story was all lies.” But why would that matter commercially? What genre fiction doesn’t rely on a little lying? They made four DIE HARD movies regardless, and even the fourth one is pretty rad. Die Hard fights evil computers in it, but he refuses to die thereby making him hard to die a death caused by computers, skyscrapers, airplanes, or terrible Samuel L. Jackson movies. Why not cowboys?

Actually, snobbier types usually blame everything on the same two movies: “STAR WARS and JAWS ended the Western. They ended the 1970’s. They ended actors, writers, directors, and parents mattering. They ended Robert Kennedy’s bid for the Presidency, cookies tasting good to children, and the myth of the vaginal orgasm.”

But I don’t know that I disagree with the premise that the Western is dead, particularly. Genres do sort of diminish in popularity over time. Screwball comedies. Point & Click adventure games. Sitcoms with super-bizarre premises. Steve Guttenberg, in toto. People used to love the Goot; I still think he’s hilarious. Go figure.

I’m inclined to say there’s no ailment on earth that swearing and hookers can’t fix, but there’s a non-existent fourth season of DEADWOOD saying I might be wrong about that.

My guess: I think people’s tolerance for looking at dirty people has gone down over the years. Cowboys, all covered with dust and dirt, with deodorant nowhere to be seen? Maybe that’s all too gross for our sissified age. I remember that was a reaction I heard a couple times over to a non-Western, Kevin Costner’s box-office disaster WATERWORLD: “Why is he so dirty the entire movie if he’s living on the Waterworld? Why can’t he just go bathe in the Waterworld? He’s surrounded by water!” The Western dies around the same time as the rise of metrosexuality and lady-boy action stars— coincidence? Or just one more thing Orlando Bloom needs to answer for, besides fucking ELIZABETHTOWN.

Some day we all must answer for fucking ELIZABETHTOWN, as a species, and there will be no cowboys there to save us.

The Western comes up among comic fans on occasion, strangely prominent on the cliché list of What’s Missing from Comics: “Where are the mystery comics, the romance comics, the Western comics?” But mysteries happen, in life. Romances happen, in life. Walk down the wrong alley at night with money hanging out of your pants, and either and/or both of those things could happen to you.

But when do Westerns happen, in daily life…?

“This is Hi-Fi... high fidelity. What that means is that it's the highest quality fidelity.”

The thing GUS AND HIS GANG most reminded me of wasn’t a Western anyways. It was SEINFELD. SEINFELD, Season 8, Episode 143, entitled “The Abstinence.” That’s the episode where Jerry Seinfeld’s sidekick George has a girlfriend (Louise) who gets sick. As a result, George has to give up sex for six weeks.

When George gives up sex? He becomes a genius.

Jerry, from that episode: “Yeah. I mean, let's say this is your brain. (Holds lettuce head) Okay, from what I know about you, your brain consists of two parts: the intellect, represented here (Pulls off tiny piece of lettuce), and the part obsessed with sex. (Shows large piece) Now granted, you have extracted an astonishing amount from this little scrap. But with no-sex-Louise, this previously useless lump, is now functioning for the first time in its existence. (Eats tiny piece of lettuce).

I think about that episode basically all the time. And by all the time, I mean the time I spend looking at internet pornography. I could have been a genius, cam whores! All that time, lost! To the internet, magazines, flipbooks. On one confusing yet magical night, a rerun of BARNEY MILLER. Lost, so much time lost! There are entire advanced degrees I could have earned. If I had that time back? I could have easily earned a Ph.D. You would have to call me DOCTOR SHITHEAD in the comments section of this post.

The best way to look at it is, “These things aren’t distractions from work. We work so that we can afford time to spend trolling for creepy thrills in DAWSON’S CREEK chatrooms.” But I’m just not that care-free. It’s just too difficult to spend time guilt-free watching something called PIRATES 2: STAGNETTI’S REVENGE. Because I’m really not sure how Stagnetti got any sort of revenge in that movie whatsoever. Herpes, maybe, but revenge? Aah, sweet mystery of life.

Of course, a more puritanical sort would say the ability to say no, to refrain, is what separates Man from the apes. Guy on the public radio the other day, though, was saying what actually separated man from the apes is that man cooks his food. I prefer that. If we’re lowering the bar to mankind to the ability to sauté, I feel like my cause in this world has been advanced, however slightly. I can cook up all sorts of shit; suck on that, you damn dirty apes.

Success, education, upbringing— none of that might keep a person from unraveling completely, if certain launch codes are pushed in the correct order. People I've known? Lawyers, architects, engineers, all equally screwed up once they're off the clock. Rich, powerful business executives with elaborate “understandings” and "loopholes" in their relationships more sophisticated than a damn WTO treaty. Even in comics: as soon as Spider-man learns to take off his glasses and comb his hair, and he’s 5% less of a nerd socially, he’s out trying to get revenge for his high school years by hate-fucking a model?

(Rhino on the Rampage...)

The characters in GUS AND HIS GANG are similarly distracted. Blain draws what they’re thinking right onto their face: “This could all be so much easier if I could just keep my mind on what I’m supposed to be doing. Robbing banks. Shooting guns. Riding horses. Running from the law. Living a proper, cowboy life.”

But, yeah: no. Not meant to be. Blain takes the most macho of genres, and uses it to wallow in male self-pity. Blain’s cowboys are completely awesome at being cowboys; macho’s easy. But past that, they’re stumbling around in the dark, like the rest of us. I like that; that’s clever.

And I suppose that’s not a lovable comedic topic for everybody, male self-pity. I’m amused by it, but I’ll acknowledge it can be kissing cousins to a very tiresome “men are all dogs, am I right, ladies?” type of humor. Or Benny Hill comes to mind, say— not a lot of people defending Benny Hill in the world. On the other hand, they say Benny Hill was a workaholic who died a lonely, mean virgin, surrounded by cash and un-deposited checks— which, you know, there’s probably a metaphor there somewhere. At least, if you want to listen to what They say. They say the “Western is Dead” and they say “Bennie Hill died a workaholic virgin” and they say “Aliens did not insert a probe into your anus.” Well, how come my rectum is sore, you government sons of bitches? Oh, right: I was fingering my ass while watching reruns of THE BENNY HILL SHOW. That’s what I’m into now. The nervous system gets desensitized to stimuli over time, so you’ve got to up the ante now and then. I upped it to stimulating my prostate to the soulful sound of Yakety Sax. Right… I forgot…

But the older I get and the worse I get, I basically find stories about failure comforting. Blain’s cowboys struggle to interpret a lady’s conflicting signals properly. They struggle to work the bar scene properly. They struggle to keep from cheating. Fail, fail, fail.

So, I relate to that. And yes: I also relate to crying. Why do people keep asking me that?

Stories about characters deciding this or deciding that-- those are fun. When you read them, you get to pretend to believe fun things like “You create who you are. You’re in charge of how you respond to conflicts. You decide your destiny.” But it’s pretty relieving, something like GUS AND HIS GANG. Sometimes, you don't get to decide how your brain works, or control every last thought; sometimes, you just enjoy the ride. That doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to me for a comic book to be about.

Did I ever pitch you my idea for a yaoi Western called WOWBOYS?

GUS AND HIS GANG is divided into a series of shorter comics of varying length. I hope against hope that this is the sort of comic that’s featured by MAD MAGAZINE in France. You know how they have international editions of magazines like TIME? Is that true of MAD? Oh, how I wish MAD FRANCE were true.

American 4th grader, talking about latest issue of MAD: "The new issue, it’s like STAR WARS except Luke Skywalker is called Leaky Aircrutch. They really take the piss out of STAR WARS, man."

French 4th grader, talking about latest issue of MAD FRANCE: "Ahh, yes, the new issue is about a sexual cowboy. Sometimes, there is carnality, and yet sometimes, he is frustrated by his inability to understand women. But alas, life is sometimes like that. Let us smoke and think upon these things, then laugh as we must at the futility of trying to control our manhood. My greatest ambition in life is to become immortal, and then die."

Woman: "You have no values. With you, it’s all nihilism, cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm."

Woody: "Hey, in France, I could run for office with that slogan, and win!"

Croonin' into the beer of a drunk man: Douglas vs. 6/3

BATMAN AND ROBIN #1: I love just looking at Frank Quitely's art for this comic. The little details are the most immediate pleasure: the evenly spaced blobby teeth in Toad's mouth, the cutaway diagram of Wayne Tower, and most of all the utterly indignant, entitled expressions on every single iteration of Damian's face. And the in-art sound effects are a particularly nice touch, a subtle riff on the '60s Batman TV show that Morrison and Quitely are rehabilitating here. Going back to re-read it, I'm noticing more of Quitely's layout tricks, especially the preponderance of extreme closeups and long-shots; almost every page is composed as a cascade of pagewide panels, with the prominent exception of a couple of sequences that are all about vertical motion. (There are also not one but two scenes in which characters are climbing vertical ladders while holding something away from the ladder in one hand.) I don't know about the weird pixelated colors Alex Sinclair is using for a lot of the backgrounds, although I like the dominant-color-in-each-panel scheme he uses for that Geoff Johns-style "preview of coming attractions" page--yes, okay, these are all going to be different storylines! A VERY GOOD start. SEAGUY: SLAVES OF MICKEY EYE #3: Yes, I am a Morrison stan. But this is one of the most purely delightful comics I've read this year, from Chubby da Ché on the cover to the Silver Age-y expository dialogue ("If he's Doc Hero, let's see him prove it by picking up those ten-ton chains"). I think I laughed aloud at almost every page, sometimes at particular gags but more often from how dead-on the whole thing is and how neatly it milks whimsy out of bubbling existential discomfort. Cameron Stewart seems to have drawn this issue in bolder strokes than he has before (literally--I can't remember the last non-kids' comic with contour lines this thick), and it's appropriate for the fabulistic tone of the story. Also, the conclusion to the big revolutionary showdown, in which everything is Disneyfied right back to old-fashioned consensus reality, and our hero gets offered the chance to serve the game now that he's beaten it--"S.O.S. the status quo!"--is a nice corrective to the excesses of Morrison's familiar "why destroy your corporate masters when you can become them?" rhetoric. The X that Jog pointed out on the last page also stands for EXCELLENT.

CHEW #1: First issue of what is apparently an ongoing Image title by John Layman and Rob Guillory, and I can scarcely think of a concept that's seemed less likely to sustain an ongoing series since The Mundane Adventures of Dishman (where the narrowness of the joke was kind of the point). Our hero, Tony Chu, is a "cibopathic" detective--he can eat anything (except beets) and get psychic images of its entire history. (He's kind of a cross between Matter-Eater Lad and Josie Mac, if anyone remembers her.) On top of that, the series is set in a near-future scenario in which bird flu has caused the U.S. government to pass an amendment outlawing chicken, which is only available in "chicken speakeasies"... and so on. This is a premise for a one-off comedy sketch, not an open-ended epic. So there's an odd dissonance between the ways in which Layman and Guillory are taking it seriously (the book's tone and, in some ways, its color schemes have a lot in common with Fell, and there are some impressive bits of storytelling, like a two-page spread in which Chu is overwhelmed by hundreds of tiny panels' worth of psychic impressions of a spoonful of soup) and the ways in which they're playing it off as a goof ("nutty" dialogue, the super-broad caricatures of Guillory's character design). It's highly OKAY--at the moment, I find it promising much more for Layman and Guillory as creators to keep an eye on than for itself as a series, but I'm prepared for it to surprise me.

Hibbsian Capsules for June 4

I'm not going to speak for anyone else here, but there are weeks at a time where I just really don't have anything meaningful to say about that week's books, and I don't just want to post in order to post, y'know?

But I thought this was a nice week o' comics. Let's go!

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #596 DKR: Man, Phil Jimemez was only on for one issue of this storyline? Foul! Say what you will, Spidey is more readable than it has been in a long-ass time. I'm still frustrated by the "DKR" intruding on each and every thing in the Marvel U (especially because it feels like we got at least another year of this to go), but this is still basically OK stuff.

BANG TANGO #5 (OF 6): I can't review this -- I haven't read past issue #1, but I do want to note that this is the first Vertigo comic ever where I've reduced my rack copy orders down to a single copy at FOC. I actually don't think that Vertigo is capable of selling a periodical mini-series any longer because of their trade policies. Here's the thing though: one subber, one rack copy sold -- why would I order any copy of a theoretical trade paperback of this story? Discuss.

BATMAN AND ROBIN #1: Pretty, fun, but probably a little thin -- this was more of a vignette than a story, wasn't it? An extremely high GOOD, but it wasn't meaty enough to push it up much higher.

BOYS #31: I'm much less interested in this book when Robertson isn't drawing it. I really LIKE Ezquerra (or McCrea on HEROGASM), but when your name is above the title, then you should be drawing the book. Ennis very surprisingly kills a major character -- even if that character kind of doesn't HAVE a character yet. I would have thought we would have learned more before he got to that stage. I thought this one was oddly EH.

BTVS TALES OF THE VAMPIRES ONE SHOT: OK, this is goofy continuity point, but my understanding of the mythology of the Buffyverse was that when you became a vampire, "you" were effectively possessed by a demon who essentially took over your body and your memories (That's one of the reasons that all Vampires know "kung fu" the moment they rise, yeah?) -- and this would seem to completely ignore that concept altogether. It wasn't bad or anything, but shouldn't one follow the "rules" of the world you're in? Kinda EH.

CHEW #1: I think John Layman might have finally hit on the right concept for him. More darkly humorous than humorously dark, this concept seems fairly sustainable, and I enjoyed it quite a bit: GOOD.

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH RUN #2 (OF 6): I don't know about anyone else, but these FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH books have been utter retail death for us -- single copy preorders, under-one-hand rack sales, I've NEVER seen follow-up series sell this far below the series they have spun from. A teeny part of it was leading with the wrong books -- RUN is the adventures of Captain Loathsome, after all -- but even DANCE with a solid author, and the I-thought-people-liked-them-at-least-ironically Super Young Team sold less than 3 rack copies for me. And the best of the bunch -- last week's INK (a solid GOOD), was down to a single rack sale. Sheesh. And there's five more months of these things scheduled. I nearly doubt that I'll be carrying rack copies of ANY of them by the time we get to the end... Anyway, RUN #2 is slightly AWFUL.

IRREDEEMABLE #3: I really really want to like this, but even the creepy sexual thing at the beginning didn't work because there isn't any context for anything that is happening. I don't think that it's enough to have a hooky premise -- "what if Superman suddenly turned evil" -- what matters is what you DO with it. I can't get into the premise because I never "saw" him be good, nor do we know why any of this happened. I guess Waid thinks the "why" is the story? It really isn't -- it's the ignition. I guess we're supposed to feel for Scylla and Charybdis here? But why? They're absolute ciphers -- there's no real reason for us to care other than "look, a few more of the character boxes now will have an X through them!". Sorry, this is EH.

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #151: Other than SAVAGE DRAGON and NINJA HIGH SCHOOL, are there any other independently produced comics that are currently being published, that have crossed the 150 bar? (if I was at the store, I could answer that easily with the POS, couldn't I?) And, y'know, support a whole writing staff? This is a really amazing accomplishment, ESPECIALLY because no one in the comics field other than me ever even mentions this book. You'd think Spurge or Ace or maybe even Deppey would at least mention KoDT every once in a while. (Or NHS for that matter)

The best part is it really is funny -- albeit it aimed very sharply at a specific niche audience (gamers). If I have complaints (and I have two), they are these: A) I just don't think the World of Hackcraft stuff (obviously parodying WoWarcraft) is even a third as funny as the tabletop stuff. "Table chatter" is what MAKES KoDT, in a lot of ways, and they just can't pull that off in the WoH sections; B) they're often juggling too many storylines at once, stripping some of them of their inherent drama. As an example: this month's chapter of "Gary Returns" basically just restated what we learned in part 1, with virtually no new information.

What KoDT really REALLY needs, though, is their own version of Essential or Showcase volumes -- 20-25 issues worth for $20 (or less); preferably parsed in storyline order so the reading experience is worth it. The most recent "Bundle of Trouble" (their version of TPs -- they're at.. um, 23? 24?) was really essentially "all middle" because of the choice of material that was in there, and was less than a good read for it.

I wouldn't recommend you start here with 151, (150 was a much better jumping on point), but I'd VERY much recommend buying a Bundle of Trouble and going from there. 151 was GOOD.

MUPPET SHOW #3 (OF 4): I was reading the comics at home and both Ben and Tzipora asked me "Why are you reading a Muppet comic, isn't that for little kids?" Cracked me up. Then Tzipora asked "And just what is Gonzo anyway?" (Well, I think she said "that creature" because she doesn't have them memorized, BUT THE POINT REMAINS), which was funny because that's the very plot of this issue. This is solidly GOOD stuff.

SOLOMON GRUNDY #4 (OF 7) STRANGE ADVENTURES #4 (OF 8): I just want to observe that these are two DCU comics that I had to stop racking because I wasn't selling a single rack copy in the first few weeks. They both come out the same week, too, which is weird. Oddly, SOLOMON GRUNDY sells better than 2 or 3 other DCU books that I DO rack, because of sub requests from pre-#1's release. I was talking with Jeff Lester today about the shape of the business, and I think it is literally astonishing that there is a Jim Starlin comic I can't sell ANY rack copies of. I would not have pictured that as actually possible.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #133: Fuck. Seriously, you can't do a wordless comic for $4. FUCK, and no, you can't end your run on the book on such a downer note. Especially not a book like this. It is betraying the very thematic underpinnings of the book to do so. Completely ASS.

ULTIMATUM #4 (OF 5): plus, if you're going to do the Big Event, then you have to fucking get it out on time. AND have it be something more than just "Lots of people die, the end". This is really starting to smell like the last Wildstorm reboot to me, in terms of audience interest. EH.

As always, what did YOU think?

-B

Diana Goes Digital #601: Capsule Edition

Back with more webcomics... * ERFWORLD recently wrapped up its first book, "The Battle of Gobwin Knob", and I have to admit that Rob Balder and Jamie Noguchi had me fooled. I'd pegged this series as a cute, light-hearted parody of D&D, mainly because that's what you see for the first thirty pages or so: you've got an Evil Overlord besieged by an Alliance of Noble Men and Elves, armies moving and fighting in "turns", all profanity being replaced with the word "boop" (it's much funnier than it sounds)... and there's no shortage of amusing moments scattered about. But once the titular battle actually gets underway, ERFWORLD turns into a tightly-plotted war story that reads like an exercise in strategic thinking: we get to see Parson's tactical plans both before and during the siege, and Balder and Noguchi have a great knack for setting up the dominoes and tilting them over at precisely the right moment. An EXCELLENT start to what I'm sure will be an epic series.

* Ursula Vernon's DIGGER used to be restricted to paying subscribers over at Graphic Smash, but it went "public" a while back and I figure I'd give it a try. The art's lovely, but I thought the story was a bit too formulaic: to wit, a wombat named Digger accidentally tunnels into a distant, magical landscape and has to find her way home. It's done competently enough, I suppose, but this sort of story tends to hinge on an attachment to the characters, and I never warmed up to Vernon's cast. OKAY.

* The opposite is true of BOBWHITE: Magnolia Porter's characters are instantly likeable, though admittedly they're based on some very familiar archetypes (Marlene's the eccentric film student, Ivy's the disinterested artist with no ambition, and Cleo... Cleo needs Ritalin. Lots of Ritalin). So why is this VERY GOOD where DIGGER isn't? I think part of it has to do with the genre: you have to work a lot harder to make the inhabitants of a fantastic/magical world accessible to readers (especially if they're non-human characters), but "slice of life" comics like BOBWHITE and OCTOPUS PIE derive their strength from verisimilitude. I've had conversations with my friends that were a lot like this one. And that's probably why I've enjoyed what Porter's been doing so far.

* DUBIOUS TALES has been over for almost two years now, but it's still worth flagging, because Andrew James does some pretty interesting things in the space of five "books" (one of which is a text-only piece). At first glance, DUBIOUS TALES is a soap opera about a bunch of quirky college students living together somewhere in England. Darren's got a Greek tragedy mask stuck to his face, Caitlin claims to be a demon hunter, Gwilym has some pretty unorthodox ideas about theatre... they're all unusual, and James develops the complicated web of relationships even as he keeps the plot moving at a fairly rapid pace. What I enjoyed most about this series was that you never quite knew what to expect: the gang could be dealing with a perverted landlord one second and fleeing two-dimensional tin-foil demons the next, followed by brainwashing hypnotists from the Soviet Union. And while I would've loved to see more, at least James ended the story on a high note. VERY GOOD.

* It says a lot that even after nearly 150 strips, THE NON-ADVENTURES OF WONDERELLA still makes me laugh on a weekly basis. Whether it's guest-starring Patrick Stewart or Morgan Freeman, or exploring the profound question of what makes mankind unique or showing us the many, MANY flaws of time-travel, Justin Pierce keeps the funny coming. EXCELLENT.

Old English #2

Ashen Victor

Here's a question that comes up every so often: we hear plenty about North American cartoonists inspired by the energy and style of manga, but are there any mangaka crazy about cartoonists from the West?

To my knowledge, the answer is "not a ton." It seems there's some pretty specific, dominant ideas in Japan about how comics are supposed to 'work,' with a strong emphasis placed on visual mechanics. Put simply, Western comics just don't look right, and to the extent there's much of a Western comics presence in Japan at all, it tends to dwell on highly individual stylists as self-contained aesthetic forces. Yet some manga artists draw fabulous inspiration from that area.

This book is one result of that inspiration. I may have obtained it at tremendous monetary cost, but it's no big deal - I do it all for you.

And Yukito Kishiro? Looks like he did it for Frank Miller; I have no evidence, but it could be he devoured every volume of Sin City and still wasn't satisfied.

So he made his own.

Ah, never mind my melodrama. VIZ may not exactly have shied away from Miller comparisons when it published Ashen Victor -- first in 1997 as a four-issue pamphlet miniseries, then in 1999 as a collected book -- but the work itself is thoroughly Kishiro's. Indeed, it's actually a short prequel work to his expansive Battle Angel Alita (aka: Gunnm) saga, a massive sci-fi series that initially ran for nine volumes, 1990-95, and then saw its artist discard the original ending in 2001 and revive the series as a still-ongoing concern (Battle Angel Alita: Last Order) current up to vol. 13 in Japan and vol. 11 via VIZ's English translation.

Ashen Victor appeared between the two major Alita series in Japan, in late 1995; it was definitely not a sprawling opus, in that it consisted of only one volume and focused on the noir-like goings on in the violent armored racing sport of Motorball. It's also conspicuously the only piece of VIZ's Kishiro catalog not currently in print. Maybe some licensing trouble got in the way. Maybe the story seemed too odd for the bookstore-friendly Alita reprint push. Hell, maybe the damned thing looks too American for the market these days. That'd be a laugh.

But truthfully, Kishiro doesn't venture too far out into foreign waters. He certainly ramps up the high-contrast in good Sin City style, and deliberately avoids typical character stylization for a Japanese comic of this sort, yet there remains a suppleness to his backgrounds, a traditional scenery that Miller would strive to dissolve into a thousand scratches surrounding inky gobs. In other words, Alita fans might still admire their familiar world as recognizable, despite the curious perspective imposed on them. It's possibly as much a franchise concern as stylistic one; two reasons for not going too far over the top.

Why, Kishiro even has a spiky-haired hero we all can root for. God, he looks a little familiar, though...

That's right, sports fans: not only is this a Japanese Sin City homage set in the world of ultraviolent cybernetic racing, but one that features a lead gore-spattered cyborg racer modeled after Dream of the Endless. That is brilliant.

Or, at least that's what it looks like; I mean, he does draw in the eyes in a bunch of panels, and hair like that isn't exactly unknown as a boilerplate manga design trope, and I certainly don't have an interview or anything in which Kishiro states "oh, Morpheus, right; great guy, lovely eyes," but the resemblance is simply uncanny.

And it makes perfect sense too, well beyond the Sin City's an American comic, Dream's an American comics character, why not level. I can hardly think of a more perfect example of a writer-driven book than The Sandman; it had some consistent art toward the end of its run, sure, but it largely built its reputation in spite of its irregular visual quality. In the midst of the Image Revolution, it was a beacon of the scribe's victory over fulsome splash page aplomb, and, to my circle of 13-year olds, evidence of trust in the writer over the artist as the true mark of the connoisseur. It was the American way!

Call it projecting (because you could be right), but that's why the Dreamy protagonist of Ashen Victor seems so awesome to me - it's dealing with Sandman on a strictly visual level, ripping out that excellent character design and working the pale flesh and black hair and sunken eyes into the especially black & white contours of Kishiro's pseudo-Sin City, a clever application of visual elements that's indicative of the manga emphasis on the art as the storytelling base. That doomed complexion, that spur of danger... Dream can be noir as fuck!

The plot of Ashen Victor, meanwhile, is a gurgling broth of Miller-approved tactics and general noir notions, like 'fixing the races' and 'fighter bound to throw the match.' Snev (our Dream King) used to be a Motorball prodigy, able to glide between opponents on the track with ease to deliver the ball to the goal. But 17 matches into his pro career and he's best known as the Crash King, the "storm of self-destruction," famous for wiping out in violent, dismembering style in literally every match, to the point where his not inconsiderable fanbase adores him strictly for the spectacular show his body provides while ripping itself to shreds.

It's ok: Snev kinda likes it too, that weird pleasure of his artificial body falling to pieces; it's the fatalism of these stories literalized into an in-action motive. His teammates hate how he cheapens the sport with such circus hi-jinx, even though the best of them, Dolagunov (the semi-Marv design, here a villain) is doped to shit on designer sensory boost Accel, which a pharmaceutical corporation is trying to promote via racing victory. Granted, Snev used to believe in victory too, until the urge to self-destruct rose in his very first pro match, when some guy ran onto the track, and Snev was too far into winning velocity to move away, and:

I think that was a deleted scene from A Game of You.

Anyway, Snev is also good friends with Beretta, one of the city's various angelic-yet tough prostitutes (oh yes), who winds up getting him into a heap of trouble when she swipes a Very Important Briefcase off of Snev's team manager, resulting in her murder and a violent race to discover the dirty secrets behind tomorrow's sports entertainment. And a scene in which a dude who looks like a boyish manga version of Dream of the Endless punches a cyborg until his brain squirts out the back of his head. Comics!

It's a fast-paced thing, probably not as tightly plotted as it could be, but consistently diverting. The real fun, though, is seeing Kishiro cook up increasingly showy visual tricks, balancing the obvious Miller influence with alternate approaches. You'll note, for instance, that all of the book's female characters are drawn in a more classically big-eyed style; this becomes a means of asserting their otherworldly beauty in the city without pity; talk about on a pedestal.

Other moments see the artist break his pages apart, glorying in the arrangement of panels for purely emotional effect.

And occasionally the art simply erupts into slashes of pain, obliterating fixed representation entirely in favor of the sensation of Snev's total immersion in the ecstasy of racing.

It all comes down to a final showdown on the track, naturally, where Our Hero must either live up to his self-made expectations or ruin everything that makes him a viable talent by succeeding for once; more complex than the average Sin City yarn, probably, but appropriate for a book in which an artist fresh off a big, successful series wanders around some striking, hopefully personally satisfying territory at some risk of alienating readers. He's made it his own.

You can probably see it for yourself, even if VIZ isn't keeping it in print. Online used bookstores tend to reward searches for lost manga nuggets like this one, and the rewards won't stop with finding a $1.30 library copy. This is eager, restless stuff, international yet so much of its birthplace. The kind of manga publishers used to hope for, an East-West 'bridge' to ease readers in. Those aren't common anymore; in time, you can't win for losing.

Old English #1

Perramus: Escape From the Past #1-2 (of 4)

Q: God, what the hell am I going to do with all these old foreign comics I bought in that April research binge? That was addressed to you, God.

A: This is a new series of short posts about old English translations of foreign language comics, probably still obtainable through back-issue and/or used book resources. There will be lots of pictures, as per God's advice.

And we might as well start with a veritable legend of sinking into oblivion, Fantagraphics' late '80s/early '90s magazine-sized pamphlet translations of Euro-by-way-of-South-Americomics. The publisher's five-issue, 1987-90 take on Carlos Sampayo's & José Muñoz's Sinner is probably the most prominent of the bunch, but there was a later, odder release in the same format: Perramus: Escape From the Past, a four-issue, 1991-92 release of work by writer Juan Sasturain and artist Alberto Breccia.

It was a curious release, not least of all for being a formidable bait-and-switch; all cover-sourced close-up skull imagery and "the horror is real" and POLITICAL HORROR CLASSIC notwithstanding, Perramus actually isn't a horror comic by most standards. There's horrific sequences, in which the art gleefully trades in terror comic visual tropes, but this is mainly in the service of genre-comprehensive allegorical adventure serial, prone to marshaling all manner of cultural stimuli in the service of confronting recent, awful political history.

Perramus was first published in 1984, serialized in the Italian anthology series Orient Express. Its first collected edition appeared in Europe in 1985, and subsequent editions continued along until 1991. It's a four-volume series, although most European editions compile vols. 1-2 in a single album, resulting in three books. Fantagraphics' four-issue English-language release, despite kicking off the year the work was completed, does not correspond to the four volumes of the original work; rather, every two or so issues collects one volume, which means the series halted around the end of vol. 2 (or, the first of the common European albums). I'm equivocating since I only have the first two issues, which definitely cover the first original volume, since they end on an Epilogue at a natural stopping point.

But maybe it's fitting that such a work stretches across so many odd, international forms; perhaps it could only really be at home in Argentina. Breccia (who died in 1993) was a giant of Argentine comics, who specialized in fantastical horror comics of a more traditional sort. Indeed, English edition editor Robert Boyd suggests in a much-needed back-of-issue #1 biographical essay that Breccia gradually moved deeper (if never completely) into a literary horror emphasis -- Poe, Lovecraft adaptations -- as a means of evading the hazards of Argentina's increasingly brutal political situation in the 1970s. His frequent writer, Héctor Germán Oesterheld, "disappeared" in 1976 as the duo prepared a comics biography of Che Guevara; is there any more appropriate response than horror?

Argentina's military junta relinquished power in 1983, and Perramus began almost immediately thereafter from a script by Sasturain, a novelist and poet. The story begins with an unnamed man fleeing the dead-of-night approach by a (literally) skull-faced death squad, dooming his revolutionary compatriots left behind, still asleep. In a daze, the man wanders into a teeming nightclub where he's offered his choice of three prostitutes: Rosa, for luck; Maria, for pleasure; or Margarita, for forgetting.

The man opts for Margarita, and surely does awake a while later without the slightest idea of who he is, or what he's done. Dressed in a patchwork uniform left from johns of many nations, he derives his identity from what's closest to his heart.

What follows is a freewheeling series of events, chopped up into 2000 AD-sized chapters, seeing Perramus and a growing band of companions through various satirical encounters. Conscripted by the death squads to body-dumping detail aboard a ship, Our Man and one Washington Sosa -- possibly an allusion to a sidekick character from one of Breccia's earliest adventure comics -- escape to an island where a local dictator justifies his existence with an annual trotting out of society's Enemy (a downed foreign airman), who's recently begun a campaign of civil disobedience by refusing to escape.

Then there's a run-in with an equally dictatorial film company that only makes trailers, although their enforcers are fortunately well-trained enough to fall down and play dead when you pretend to shoot at them. Less playful are Perramus' old cohorts at the Volunteer Vanguard for Victory -- not the ones he got killed, mind you -- who don't recognize him personally but do understand the revolutionary potential he carries. History seems to be repeating, along with visions of Margarita, who appears to be somehow present in every escapade in the form of a different woman; and she's not the only one he'll be seeing again.

Recurrence is an important theme in this work, along with development. Surely the visuals seem to be redolent with Breccia's own evolution; any given panel seems hell-bent on packing in as many mixed-media flourishes as possible without sabotaging readability, although the sheer richness of these images can nonetheless seem overwhelming. Lavishly caricatured figures share space with environments ranging from suggestive swirls and dashes of ink to photographic collage. Supine corpses are covered with a gauze of light against deep shadow -- respect for the dead -- while death squad skulls hide additional skulls in their hats, symbolizing the authoritative facet of their personal killings. Often the human figures will recede into silhouettes, left small and alone against the mayhem of clashing textures that is Breccia's South America, a world of sufficient unreality arranged to register as nature, and sometimes be beautiful.

Yet persona and politics is fundamentally a construct, as the titular runaway learns late in issue #2 as part of a titanic team-up with Argentine literary lion and in-story secret agent Jorge Luis Borges, ready to encode messages in the poetry of 15th century Spanish satirist Francisco de Quevedo (and still alive at the time of the material's early publication). Sasturain & Breccia make mention of Borges' 1942 story Funes the Memorious as a sort of mirror to their own story; Funes also met Borges, but his talent was to remember everything, to the point where his command of detail undercut his capacity for abstract thought. In contrast, Perramus meets Borges unable to recall a thing about his past life, which renders him sheer abstraction, fortuitously wandering a continent of abstracted political and societal ideas, fastidiously rendered by Breccia in multimedia splendor.

Does it go deeper? Down to the literary Funes' Uruguayan heritage, same as Breccia's?

Ah, but even Borges himself is part of the plan, recontextualized like a good frequent literary character into an avatar for sheer artistic skepticism. In this world, the real Borges' politics needn't matter so much as his art's capacity for inspiration. This mixes well with Breccia's self-reference, his horror images positioned in society now explicitly in the form of repression, rather than as a response to such. There's plenty more where that came from - I sincerely doubt you can grasp the totality of this work without a serious command of Argentinian politics and culture, which I don't have. Still, as the might of Breccia's art is obvious, so is the broadest contours of his and Sasturain's story, looping Perramus back to the mystic nightclub for the volume's end, where the prostitute again offers what's expected: his desire. Will he have learned for next time? Will his country?

There's a little bit of an answer in these two Fantagraphics issues I have, and obviously more in the other two, although the other half remains obscure. I can't imagine a comic of this sort did gangbuster business in the US in '91, to the point where I'm mildly surprised that the issues we've got exist. Maybe the future holds something more for Breccia, but until then it's another story from another longbox, undeniably out there.

In Which Graeme Attempts To Catch Up...

It's been a long time since I've done one of these, so be prepared for a capsules review of a lot of books, many of which you may have forgotten reading already.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #592 - 594: Part of me is tempted to point to this arc and say "Hey, haters, here's a story that couldn't be done with a married Peter, because there's no way that Mary Jane would be cool with him only being Spider-Man for days on end just to piss off Jonah," but that would be both pointless and raising old ghosts. As much as I love the idea behind this story, and as much as I love Mark Waid's take on the characters, this is just Okay; I could've done without the "You see? He's really mad at Norman" bit, and Mike McKone's art has never done it for me. But it was nice to see the Peter I know and love back when giving his blessing to Aunt May's latest fling.

(Appropos of nothing much, but does anyone still really hold a grudge about Brand New Day and the Spider-Man reboot? There's a post to be written about how weirdly the new status quo seems to aim for - and reach - a constant level of late-70s fill-in quality, sure, but by this point, surely most people have come 'round to the fact that the reboot has brought back necessary things like "a supporting cast" and "some semblance of fun" to the character, after years of JMS. Or are those merely my biases showing?)

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #23 - 25: I don't know if the spell got broken when the scheduling slipped for awhile or what, but I just don't find this book even half as compelling as it once seemed, and haven't done since the middle of the Fray arc. I'm sure that it's still heading towards something, but the spark seems to be gone, and the current run of done-in-ones (even though they're heading towards the common goal of flipping the dynamic so vampires are loved and slayers are feared, ooh, just like the X-Men) has left the book feeling more disjointed and cold than it should. I'm hoping that they get things back on track soon, but right now, this is a sad Eh.

DARK AVENGERS #1 - 4: Four issues in, and I'm throwing up my hands and wondering why this isn't working for me. It's not that it seems overly busy - although it does - or that I don't care about any of the characters - although I don't; it's that I can't help but feel that the creators don't really care about this book that much. There's something uneven and hollow about it, a feeling of it being entirely cynical and insincere that just keeps me from feeling involved with anything happening inside the covers at all. Awful, but perhaps it's just me.

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: DANCE #1: Joe Casey is, I'm beginning to think, my anti-matter duplicate; more often than not, I can appreciate his books more than actually enjoy them. This is just like Godland and The Intimates in that respect; I know that it's smart and funny and contemporary (Even the use of Twitter, which I'm sure would piss me off in other books, feels like it works), but I can't feel that it's anything more than Okay, for some reason, and I really don't know why.

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH: RUN! #1: Beginning DC's new habit of naming books after songs produced by Danger Mouse - I'll be writing Blackest Night Aftermath: Sofa King at the end of the year, I'm happy to announce - this book is, sadly, completely Eh. I don't care about the Human Flame, and this is too busy trying to make a grumpy face to give me a reason to.

THE FLASH: REBIRTH #1 - 2: Wait, what? Barry is the who whatcha now? I can't quite work out if the reveal at the end of the second issue is genius or insane, but I am enjoying the whole "Barry Allen is back, and that's really not a good thing for anyone" thing this series has going on. It won't last, of course, but I'm thinking it's Good while it does.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #31 - 32: Sad but true: Dwayne McDuffie's trying to write a really good book, in between the crossovers and the editorially-mandated character shuffles and art that's almost never appropriate. The (temporary?) addition of Rags Morales in the latest issue coincides with the JLA becoming the Defenders of the DCU, and it... kind of works? A high Okay, but I just wish that Dwayne would get free rein and a good artist so we could see what he's really capable of.

MIGHTY AVENGERS #21-24: I've heard a rumor that this title was nearly renamed Dan Slott Wants You To Know His Avengers Are Awesome, a title that would be more honest, if not quite as catchy. The problem with this revamp for this book is that, while the concept is ideal - "It's the old-school Avengers book full of big ideas!" - the execution... isn't. There's lots of telling instead of showing, and none of the telling seems particularly convincing, especially the "Isn't Hank Pym clever? No, really, he's really smart" talk that began to feel really desperate somewhere around Slott's second issue. There's a lot of interesting ideas here, but none of them really come together, and the result is something that you end up thinking "Well, I can kind of see what he's trying to do here..." more than actually digging what you're reading. Eh, if you squint in the right way.

NEW AVENGERS #50-52: Whereas this is a really good Defenders book. Unlike Dark Avengers, Bendis' affection for the characters comes through here easily, and if his storylines feel choppy and forced, the dialogue and character interaction feels true (In particular, Luke telling Doctor Strange that he has friends made the sap in me go "Awwww" inside). With Dark Reign seeming very hit and miss, this is one of the bright spots in the middle of all the enforced gloom.

PHONOGRAM: THE SINGLES CLUB #2: A nice idea, but the I'm not convinced by the way it all plays out, somehow. I can't really put my finger on why, though; maybe it suffers from the weight of expectations coming (so long) after the amazing first issue? It feels unfinished in the same way that the first series did, where the theory and thinking behind it is there, but there's not the emotional connection that you want. It's still Good, mind you, and Jamie McKelvie's art continues to improve; I selfishly want them to release a colored collection of the first series, now, I've become so convinced that his work needs color to truly sing.

WONDER WOMAN #29 - 31: Potentially the most puzzling superhero book around right now, Gail Simone's current epic storyline seems stunningly misjudged. I'm not sure whether it's the choice of villain, the lack of forward momentum in the plot or the overwhelming (and uncomfortable, unconvincing and self-conscious) grimness, but the whole "Rise Of The Olympian" arc has almost entirely killed my interest in the series. I don't just mean that I don't like it; I tend to forget whether I've read issues, and when I pick up new issues, I've entirely forgotten what happened last time (Not helped by the fact that it feels like we've had "Diana has to screw her courage to the sticking post and compromise her morals to try and defeat this mysterious, surprisingly dull villain" as a theme for the last few issues in a row). In a strange way, it kind of pisses me off; I liked Simone's run up until this storyline, and almost resent the current arc for making me feel bored and disinterested in the book. Awful, as much as I hate to say it. Come back, interesting, suspenseful and fun book. I miss you.

But what, as Mr. Hibbs says, did you think?

A Last Second Memorial Day Tribute To G.I. Joe

My relationship with G.I. Joe as a toy, cartoon, enterprise, as an anything extends to one anecdote, which always gets the same reaction, in that the bored listener doesn't believe it and thinks it is a bad attempt at a tasteless joke. My brother and I had a couple of them until he took a hacksaw and sawed off Scarlet's breasts while holding the figure in a vice, which is harder than it sounds. Then he tried to flush the remaining carcass and limbs down the toilet. Even my dad, whose interest in children extended to attempting to learn some of our names, felt the need to tell my mother "There's something wrong with that one." From then on, we were a He-Man only household. Go figure.

Did you know that IDW was publishing trade collections of Marvel's old G.I. Joe series? Or that Marshall Rogers eventually contributed art to the series at some point?

Oh.

Well, I didn't, because I don't keep up with that kind of stuff. After a resident Savage said that the Warren Ellis written G.I. Joe Resolute cartoon wasn't totally awful, I thought I'd check it out and see if that were true. And no, it wasn't completely awful, but it didn't really change my Joe-opinions. Based off limited experience with the franchise, these are the Daves I Know: Snake Eyes is a mute ninja and is more interesting than everyone else by default, on occasion, "other stuff happens". I'd call what I saw of the Resolute series pretty CRAP, but I'm not a big give-a-shit about cartoons type anyway. It did lead me to poke around online, which is how I found out about these GI Joe reprints of the Marvel series by a non-Marvel company, and because it was late, I bought one of them for nothing, and then it showed up I had no idea what to do with it, it's not like I don't have actual comics that excite me sitting around waiting for me to be an elitist prick about. But hey, Savage Critics, I haven't been there in a while, let's take off our pants and have reading sex with the Brothers Joe! It will be righteous! We can even do it in a sort of capsule fashion, as is reader preference!

GI Joseph, Numero Uno This is the story of how the team has to save a woman who has decided to blow the whistle on a world-annihilation project run by the US government, the Cobra team that kidnaps her, and the squadron sent in to rescue her. If "Dr. Adele Burkhart" is to be believed, the US government is hard at work on a secret weapon that, if set off, will destroy the entire population of the world. Which is...really? That's the US that G.I. Joe serves and protects? Now, let's not mince words: the Joe's don't just fully support the US in wanting to build that Apocalypse Bomb, they're totally disgusted that they have to go and rescue this weak-willed traitor--Snake Eyes even suggests that, in lieu of rescue attempt, they just bomb the shit out of the island they all know she's on, silencing her traitorous mouth while killing the Cobra Commander and the Baroness to boot. Mission? Successful.

Unfortunately for Snake Eyes and the Joes, that's not the way it plays out. No, it's all about following orders, and the Joes don't have a lot of time: if Cobra's experimental lady torture works, they'll suck national secrets right out of Burkhart's head, milkshake style, and end up in possession of the "Doomsday Project." What follows is, I guess, something a lot more hardcore than the G.I. Joe cartoon--I don't know the show that well, but I doubt that it included a lot of Secret Service agents getting shot in the face at point blank range while laying on the ground. Either way, it's relatively solid action, not too dissimilar from an 80's Chuck Norris movie with more explicit patriotism. I'd give this one an OKAY, mostly because of the portion where the Joes plan their attack by looking at what appears to be a model train set, complete with fake fences. It might need to get knocked back a bit because of Herb Trimpe's drawing of Scarlet's hand, which is apparently attached to an arm six feet long. (But it earns it back by having Cobra Commander ride around on a white horse inside a small compound for the purposes of delivering his Bond-villain threats.) All in all, it's neither an introduction to the team nor an introduction to their villains--which is actually an approach I sort of prefer, my wife's "I DON'T GET IT, WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE" refrain and all. After all, does anybody really care how Cobra came about? Does anybody (besides Daniel Way) read Daredevil and get pissy when nobody tells the origin of The Hand? I don't want to know where Evil Terrorist Organizations Bent On Destruction come from. I want to see them ride a pony inside a building, because I like the idea that low-grade Cobra operatives--the kinds that never get a cool name--are enlisted in horse cookie detail. Besides, if I wanted to get to know the hilarious ins and outs of terrorist organizations, I'd watch the Venture Brothers. On the Joe front, it's a similar thing--Larry Hama knows he's writing the four color adventure of toys, why would he waste his time giving the toys some kind of wrought-in-realism back story? It's G.I. Joe. They need to kill some Cobra. Cobra needs to kill some anything.

As an aside, it's particularly brutal that the method in which Cobra uses to circumvent the Secret Service defenses and kidnap Dr. Burkhart is so similar to the method which al-Qaeda operatives utilized when assassinating a particularly hardcore anti-Taliban warlord in Afghanistan on September 10th, 2001. Disguised as reporters, cameras as weapon--Larry Hama's work on this series is reportedly full of this kind of unsettlingly "real" stuff, but I was quite surprised to see it pop up in the first two pages. Here's another example.
G.I.Joe_1_Village
That's some pretty heartless shit. Good military tactics, sure--but hey. Leaving the bodies to rot? The first issue? Nasty business. Mommy like. 

John Carpenter's G.I.J.O.E. # 2 After a straight up Cobra v. Joe issue, this one is all about that cold day on the set of The Thing, when Snake Eyes, Scarlet, Stalker and Breaker went into the snow to get their asses handed to them--twice--by a guy named Kwinn, who has some weird religious beliefs and has worked as a Freelance Special Ops Enforcer for the secret service of every major country on the planet, except the Joe's, who have never heard of him. This story doesn't totally work, mostly because it's one of those tales where the most interesting thing is Snake Eyes, who spends all his R & R time in a fucking sensory deprivation tank while everybody else does crap on a varying level of nerdy lameness. (Scarlett is in a karate tournament! Breaker plays with computers!) It is kind of interesting that Hama uses the second issue of the series to do a completely Cobra-free story--Kwinn's employers are some random Russians--but maybe that was a regular thing with these characters, again, I wouldn't know. But mostly it's a story that doesn't work because Herb Trimpe's art isn't as intimidating as the Hama script reads, like when the comic ends with what is supposed to be a "oh shit, bad asses coming" drawing that's far too static and boring in the layout to read as anything other than a deadline delivery. It ain't AWFUL or anything--oh, you know what? It's definitely EH that I'm feeling here.

G.I.Joe_#2_FinalPage

Bubblegum? Really. I don't think Snake Eyes, a guy who prides himself on getting places quietly, is going to allow this doucebag to smack on some bubble gum. Also, wouldn't the bubble gum be hard to chew in the Arctic cold?

Let's move onto the day when Kirby robots arrived.

G.I. Joe's OMAC Project # 3
The splash page that opens this story is of a destroyed Cobra base, in the background hangs an Uncle Sam by way of Cobra Commander recruitment poster with the line "Peace Through WAR", which is just incredible, anyway you slice it, that's some silly crazy I can totally vote for. Seriously, I don't care if they want to eat human placentas on inauguration day while making it illegal to wear Kansas City Royal's hats, I'd vote for any politician whose campaign regularly included the phrase "Peace Through WAR".gijoe_3_image
Damn it Scarlett! Have you no class?! We'll deal with the explosions after we deal with TEA.
This is a Giffen Justice League kind of story--a bunch of random Joes deal with a Trojan Robot (yes, like the horse) that they unwittingly set loose in the bowls of their compound while Hawk and Scarlett try to play off the noises of explosions and gunfire that keep interrupting the "Chaplain's Assistant Social Tea", since they don't want the chaplain's assistants to know that the Joes have a compound in the basement of the facility. It's not terribly funny, and it's sort of predictable, but it's again interesting to me how this series is both deadly serious--it opens with an explanation that the lower decks of the underground bunker could survive nuclear attack, but that the upper decks, which are where all the new recruits train and sleep, would be completely destroyed, killing everyone in them--and sitcom silly, with the Joes spending a decent portion of the book's climax chasing around tiny little robot bugs, complete with tone-deaf pun for the closer. Still, Trimpe steps it up here, in no small part because he gets to draw some Kirby style robots and machines, and with that, we've made it back to OKAY! I think I might be judging Trimpe harshly, but I was just blown away by his B.P.R.D. one-shot, and I was really hoping for some more of that. A lot of the non-machine stuff he's doing here is just empty and dull. His layouts seem pretty strong, there's nothing confusing or obtuse about them, but his figure drawings are achingly repetitive. Credit though--he really works on setting the scene--trees, lamposts, all the background stuff is pretty good. Maybe he just got tired of drawing white guys who have crew cuts.

G.I. Joe's Uncomfortable Version of Waco & Ruby Ridge # 4 Well, that's certainly some unsettling stuff to read about, thank you very much. Hawk & Grunt go undercover in a homegrown Montana based militia group, Snake-Eyes skulks in the forests and shawdows, and the bad guys turn out to be some serious nut jobs. Their plan? Start World War 3 with the cunning use of Cobra-provided nuclear warheads, and if they fail on that end--which they do--initiate "Plan Alpha", which is when they forcibly arm the women and children who have been strong-armed onto the base, set off a nuke in the heart of the compound, and hope America blames Russia. 

There's something about the way Larry Hama writes this stuff that's pretty incredible. (Yes, that's completely over the top, go with me for a second though.) Does any merchandising tie-in stuff work this well? I've never read a single video game comic that I thought was anything beyond adequate, although I still haven't seen the Moebius Halo. I remember liking a Transformers comic, the only one I read, where a kid found Optimus Prime's still-talking head in an empty warehouse, but I imagine a lot of my awe would fade if I read it now. These are just crap jobs for a writer, long-form toy commercials designed to run as long as the toy is profitable. That's a claim that can sometimes be laid at the altar of super-hero comics too, I'm sure, although at least super-heroes didn't start from that toy place. But Hama just doesn't seem to care about any of that, and there's no way to shove this particular story into a snide category. It's just a brutal issue about a bunch of Timothy McVeigh types, all white, living in a David Koresh/Jim Jones style compound where children and women are considered excellent cannon fodder at best, human shields at worst. It's a small covert team of guys trying to shut them down without giving cause to their superiors to blow the whole place into oblivion, knowing full well that rescuing these people will do nothing to change their anger with the US Government. There's something to be said for "doing your research" when you're reading comics--at the same time, I'm not going to plow through the monstrous history of a television cartoon just to confirm what I'm feeling here, which is that there's no way in hell that this is the kind of story they were doing in 22 minutes. Angry mustachioed bad guys in Montana and last minute bomb defusal? I'll buy that. But forcing guns on women and children? Mass suicide looked to as the most probable "escape"? Success only coming at the last minute because the bad guy's wife decides she'd rather shoot him in the back then go through with the apocalypse?

gijoe_4_image I don't believe that was on television. And while I still think that Herb Trimpe has a ways to go before his faces and action sequences catch up with his crazy tanks and industrial cross-sections, I'm not going to pretend this wasn't a thoroughly enjoyable issue. Definitely GOOD, and I could see stronger art--maybe the still-to-come Marshall Rogers--pushing that higher.

Surprised as you.

G.I. Joe # 5, no joke, it's called "TANKS for the Memories" This issue of G.I. Joe is another humor heavy issue that has a nasty Girl Scout hostage-taking turn, which is so far up my alley that it just built a house. I'll admit that I can be a soft touch when it comes to that sort of thing, that kind of joking sarcastic horror that makes some people go "oh tsk tsk, that's just TOO MUCH"--sorry, but I love it. Random ridiculous dialog, a GI Joe soldier using his lazer guided tank scope to stare at the rear end of a marching majorette, followed closely by one of those "He's calling from INSIDE THE HOUSE" gags, all leading to a climax where Cobra Commander straight up hides amongst a bunch of Girl Scouts--no shame, this is great stuff. Again, I just can't believe this was on television. The jokes, maybe. (Not the ass peeping, obviously.) But was Cobra Commander really grabbing little girls to use as human shields, Stephen Dorff style? Really? That happened?

I love this joke, it's like Beetle Bailey by way of Sealab 2021. gijoe_5_image

I like that there's some random guy who follows around the various generals--on fleet week--and keeps whipping out the old "did I ever tell you about that time at the Chinese restaurant? Oh God, we just laughed and laughed!" 

That joke is followed up by the ass jokes, because that is the Joe way, and while I'm fully aware that any and all objectification of women in comics should be immediately followed up by blood curdling screams for heads-on-pikes, it doesn't seem completely out of character for a bored soldier being forced to participate in a parade wherein he has to drive his Totally Incredible Tank Of Death around Times Square like it's a shitty parade float while the marching band plays "Dancing In September" to immediately grasp on the opportunity to use his laser guided targeting system to stare at some spandex covered lady ass. Of course, the military's decision to PARADE a SECRET WEAPON in BROAD DAYLIGHT goes wrong, and it turns out that the ass he's staring at is the ass of Cobra herself. (Although when things get cooking, it's highly plausible that he was actually ogling man-ass, since the only foot soldiers are packing danglers. Twist-y!) So on, so forth--right before we get to the Girl Scout moment, Cobra Commander whips out what might be my favorite line of his thus far: "How long do you think you can run around the streets of mid-town Manhattan with machine guns and rocket launchers--before the authorites start reacting?!"

There's something really refreshing about that line: due to my own "lack of research" (read: disinterest) into the history of the Brothers Joe and their nemesis, I was operating under the assumption that Cobra Commander was just another Hank Scorpio. He's actually quite sensible. (That being said, this was his plan, broad daylight and all.) It's just too bad he can't hire better employees--an entire Cobra battalion doesn't think to check an abandoned construction site for the tank after they lose the trail, despite it being a slow-ass tank driving around in a city where the only area large enough to hide in happens to be the abandoned construction site. Which they run right by.

Here's an aside, although this whole post is sort of an aside: I wonder how many band members were reading issue 5 and took it personally that Larry Hama wrote that the marching band was for nerds. Marching band is universally considered by high schoolers to be a long-form version of the word "nerd", and it's hilarious to imagine a band kid reading a comic book based on a cartoon designed to sell toys--which is another 10 letter description of "geeky"--only to have the nerdy comic book call the marching band nerdy. That's an ouroboros right there.

Anyways, let's look at girl scouts and crazy assholes. gijoe5_image And like that, I'm sold. Especially because it's followed up by Cobra Commander getting away after shooting the Joe guy in the temple. Then the little girl tells him not to feel bad, because he'll catch the bad guy in the end. And what does he say to that?

"I wish that were true, little girl..."
Because Ha Ha, little girl, the good guys don't always win, and sometimes the bad guys do get away, and HA HA HA NOBODY LOVES YOU. Now, there's a little aside where somebody questions whether General Flagg could have made the shot and taken out Cobra Commander, so maybe his failure is part of a larger story. I hope not. Because as it stands here, all by its lonesome?
Larry Hama wrote a comic book where an American soldier told a Girl Scout that he was a failure.
That's some VERY GOOD shit right there. I think I wet my pants, and I'm not even sure I care what kind of wet it is. 

Your Father's Joe # 6: "Actual Afghan Proverb"

The idea for these three panels? Not bad. The amount of dialog in these three panels, thus rendering it a tad ridiculous? Kinda bad.gijoe_6_image

At what rate is he walking up those stairs? Are his legs broken?
This is the first two-part story, and being as it's a pre 9/11 comic, you get a chance to go all Rambo III, when America couldn't hand out weapons to the warlords of Afghanistan fast enough. There's even a moment in-story where the Joes make a backroom agreement to hand some fancy wargear over to the local fighters. Hey, they were killing Russians. It was the Cold War. If you're willing to accept Ebony White, why not this? Besides, it gives Hama a chance to introduce the Russian version of G.I. Joe, and while I have about as much interest in the answer as I do a bowl of my own feces, I gotta ask: did Hasbro make toys based on Colonel Brekhov and his October Guards, who have names like "Horror Show", "Stormavik" and "Daina?" I'm kind of assuming the answer is yes, since they have a fancy car--with "balloon tires"--and fancy cars are high-ticket items in the old toy shop. You can tell they aren't as awesome as our American Joes--they smoke, some of them are a bit doughy in the middle, and Herb Trimpe keeps drawing the Russian version of Scarlett by having her face the reader directly, Animal Man style. That's a sure sign she's useless when clearing a room.
As the issue reaches it's somewhat surprising Joe/October team-up conclusion--the Soviets didn't actually get out of Afghanistan until 1989, and this issue was originally published in 1982, which means Larry Hama was essentially writing a story where American/Soviet relations were more mature in a GI Joe comic book than they were in the real world--the real enemy arrives. It's Cobra, of course. All the big awesome car toys can't save you know, GI Joe.gijoe_0005_NEW
I gotta say, this little image right here, along with the Girl Scout Failure Complex? That's got me sold on this series. From what I remember of GI Joe, there's eventually some warped thing involving a guy who is some kind of snake god, and I'm sure I'll hate that if I read it. But this is pretty solid comics--it's aggressive, it's far more cynical and hard boiled than I'd imagine a comic based off a toy empire to be, and as long as I'm not having to listen to him screech, Cobra Commander is a great heavy. There's no "here's my plan" moment. He's not wearing a cape, or playing with a sword. His plan--to use the accurate-to-the-time hatred between the US and the USSR as a distraction--has worked perfectly. All that's left now?
Take these jokers out and shoot them in the head.
I'd give that a VERY GOOD.

Désastre Hurlant (T18): À Suivre

(being the final installment of an 18-part series of posts concerning each and every book released as part of the DC/Humanoids publishing alliance, 2004-05; index of posts here and here) JM: Hello all! This is Jog, speaking in the exotic dialect of italics.

TS: I'm Tucker, I roll with No Formatting. This is where Jog and I will talk about the Chaland anthologies, the school of the clean line, diacritical markings, and how it's fun to google By The Numbers and find out the only other person who talked about online happens to be Evan Dorkin.

JM: All right, I'm getting the hang of it. Talking to other people, I mean.

TS: Portions of this were written while I was waiting to download a pornographic version of Silence of the Lambs. If I seem unduly excited about Yves Chaland, that's why.

I. Associated Humanoids

TS: My first question is "Why do all these books, Jog?" You were the one who came up with the idea, although there was a sort of weird coincidence in that Matthew Brady (not the Matthew Brady Jodorowsky yelled at, the Warren Peace one) and I were having a little debate about whether or not it mattered if comics companies make good business decisions, and DC/Humanoids was stuck in my head as proof positive of what can happen to good material when it's horribly mismanaged. But yeah: all of them? What's up with that?

JM: Two reasons spring to mind right away:

1. I love starting big projects and only finishing after extravagant delays. It's a fetish, a physical thing, and for that I thank you.

2. It's a strange window, this Humanoids thing. You know? Like, the publisher's status these days; it's mainstream, mostly. It's a mainline publisher, putting out populist books, and we don't see all that many of those in North America. Not from France; manga, sure, but that's tapped into a desire for popular entertainment of a different stripe than what was readily available before. French-language comics haven't done that, but there's obviously interest in the 'art' comics world, so I think there's a hovering notion of French-reading Europe as a haven for arts-first comics, but some of that's just what we can see through the framing of language, of publishing activity.

I mean, obviously you can argue the French-reading environment is more amenable to certain genuses of sophistication, sure, but then you've got the Heavy Metal problem. That was the first germ of this idea for me. Christ, germs and problems - I'm a psychological ruin, Tucker. What's it like watching a man come apart via Google Docs, by which I mean face-to-face communication that's totally real?

(From The Metabarons: Alpha/Omega) But yeah, Heavy Metal. It's around every month, on your friendly local chain bookstore newsstand, right next to Classic Rock Presents: Prog or The Best American Penthouse Letters 2008, and you look inside and *holy shit* it's French comics! Album-length French comics, most months, sometimes twice in a month if it's a special, and a lot of them aren't art comics, you know? But there present all the time, and obviously they're coming from somewhere; it's a somewhere we don't see, but it's not inconsiderable.

And Les Humanoïdes is special in that regard; that's the place Heavy Metal came from -- in that Métal Hurlant was the inspiration -- which also served as a focal point for the French mainstream. Moebius, Druillet - those guys were actually interested in pushing boundaries in more than just the "extra blood; naked" sense. There was more violence and nudity, yeah, but there were metaphorical, philosophical, improvisational aspects too; I really really don't want to oversell their influence, but they were part of something, which was on the a cutting edge of the form for a while, visually, literarily, etc. There were ideals and longings.

Time passes, then - the publisher survives, changes hands, the scene changes, everything changes. Humanoïdes is part of the mainstream. Heavy Metal is part of the mainstream (they were always owned by different people, the National Lampoon people at first, but bear with me), a North American mainstream that it played a part in too, since it arrived right in the bridge period between underground comics and 'alternative'-comics-as-a-force, in the young Direct Market. Come 1999, and Humanoids is founded as a North American concern. The environment is totally fucking different, nobody is fucking involved in comics in 1999 that doesn't want to be there because it's a complete mess, it's hard to get a foothold; it's totally new, but new in a way that Humanoids' French counterpart had a tiny hand in. And the French stuff is different too; like, The Metabarons isn't The Airtight Garage, you know?

So there we have history looking to repeat itself, but it's really two brands of mainstream that don't match. It's pamphlets vs. albums, and a hundred other things. Humanoids goes through all these ideas to fit in (when less than a quarter of a century prior they just waltzed in and picked partners) - releasing pamphlets, breaking storylines up, carrying some albums over wholesale, multi-album trade paperbacks, new 'modern' coloring, hiding all the dangerous bits of the body that take me to Bad Time, reviving a magazine in comic book form and calling in people from around the world... they tried everything!

Suddenly, 2004: oh my god, it's DC! And Mainstream A tries to partner up with Mainstream B, and suddenly the window breaks open, and we can see a huge glob of what Humanoids became. Or, it was possible to see, at least, since there wasn't a ton of press and they put out a shitload of stuff, more than anyone could probably keep up with, so the bigness of it ironically wound up hurting its visibility. Some people were talking -- Warren Ellis and Matt Fraction (I'd link but artbomb seems to be dangerous these days, per Google) were on top of the Metabarons, the Bilal stuff -- but despite the internet being around there wasn't a lot of comprehensive coverage, not like you'd find for every DCU title. I'm counting myself in with that, by the way - I was blogging, writing about comics, and I covered exactly one of those books (François & Luc Schuiten's The Hollow Grounds).

(From The Hollow Grounds)

By 2005 it was gone; the deal was sunk. Humanoids vanished until this year, teamed up with DDP. That's five years, and I was looking around, you and me were talking, we'd wanted to work together on something. I think our second best option was doing the first 20 issues of The Savage Dragon, using Olav Beemer's letters to Erik Larsen as holy writ, an involuntary third critic reporting from 1993, for our reaction - time-travel criticism!

Then you started mentioning Yves Chaland; I'd looked at some of his stuff, Humanoids had released some, then DC/Humanoids reprinted it and put out more, and I'd written him off totally as a nostalgist bore, and you got me to actually read further than the first one and a half stories, and whoops - he's kind of a genius! And the type of genius with one foot in the early days of Franco-Belgian comics, and the other in the early Humanoïdes days; it was perfect, and it really provoked me, and I wanted to see what else was hiding away in the DC/Humanoids catalog.

There was something going on about criticism too. I don't think it's unfair to say a lot of online comics criticism is devoted to pamphlet-format serials/ongoing series, which isn't illogical, since the steady output of stuff facilitates discussion and commentary, new topics, new questions. But I think that also marks the conversation as perpetually current, which spills over to talk about standalone books and things. And the internet doesn't have to do that, in my opinion, because it doesn't have to answer to investors or subscribers or sponsors, and there's no risk of someone picking you up off the stand and going "holy hell, these Penthouse letters are all from 2004, I'm not turned on by John Ashcroft anymore, sheesh," which I think is maybe the expectation of a print publication, unless it's specifically dubbed a forum for reflection or whatnot. Or, you know, maybe there's a 'old times' slot, but even then you've got space to worry about; if you're running a zine, there's spatial concerns, getting it out to people.

On the internet, there's none of that. Ideally, people can easily access a huge amount of content, which there's space for. Yet I couldn't find a lot of work related to even something sorta-mainstream like DC/Humanoids (maybe more hybrid-mainstream, which arguably defeats the whole 'mainstream' idea) and I thought: hey! Times have changed! These books are pretty cheap, used, so they're untethered from the financial constrainst of new releases (which is another topic entirely), and there ought to be something going on with the whole sick crew. There's stuff here. Interesting stuff.

And since you'd gotten my mind on the topic, I realized it was the perfect idea for our collaboration. I know you have a history with these books too.

TS: I would hate to read blogs if it was all just up-to-the-minute "this just happened" kind of coverage. The internet provides this forum where there's a mentality that everything needs to be talked about by everybody, and I just can't be bothered. Sure, it might give me the opportunity to write about The Bad Girls Club, which I really enjoy doing, but the idea that everybody needs a Flash: Rebirth review within a week of it coming out--really? Why? You can taste it when somebody is online and feeling like they "have" to have an opinion because all the big sites/bloggers are expressing one. Like that Marvel Divas cover thing, or whether or not the single issue sales for DMZ are accurate: I don't have an opinion, and just because there's a forum to put one out there doesn't mean I need to take part. I don't walk down the street and jump into every fucking conversation I see strangers having, and I don't talk about the movies I like with the people in my office who won't shut up about Hotel For Dogs. There's got to be a reason to talk about something, or else it's just not going to be interesting to read about.

(From The Nikopol Trilogy)

Doing something like this--a silly, labor intensive slog through a bunch of great-to-awful comics, all of which aren't quick throwaways--there's got to be a real desire to do it. Otherwise you're not going to finish it, and if you do, it's going to be unreadable. When you brought it up, my first thought was "That's going to be difficult", not just because the style, story and quality had quite a range even in the portion I'd already read, but also because there's this mystique (that I subscribed too, although I'm not so sure I believe it anymore) that European comics were just categorically "deeper" than the stuff I normally write about. I think that stems a bit from the way they get treated in America, that they're first and foremost foreign material, material that comes from a different type of publisher and artist relationship than the one I've spent years immersed in.

At the same time, I don't think I came to this with the sort of background you have--I don't know that I've ever really paid much attention to Heavy Metal, my initial experience with Moebius probably was that scene in Crimson Tide, and I'd always thought of Jodorowsky as a filmmaker, first and foremost. But as when we got into it, I realized that was sort of an interesting point: most of the people coming at this work, or at least a good portion of them, would have explored the Humanoids line the same way when DC started releasing the books. They probably knew more than I did, most people do, but it wasn't like these reprints were showing up because of reader demand. Also, I knew in advance you were going to handle The Incal, and I found that book particularly intimidating to talk about.

My history with these books, which I touched on a little bit when I reviewed Bilal, was pretty simple: I saw The Horde and Hollow Grounds, and I liked the idea that I was finally going to get to see some non-Tintin/Asterix European stuff. I wasn't a blogger person then, so I had more free time to jack off to weird shit. I just signed up for the series on a whim, and I stuck with that for a good six months at least, maybe longer. I'd go into the comics shop, they'd have a Humanoids trade pulled for me, I'd take it home and read it or not. Some of these--the conclusion of Son of the Gun for one--I had never made the time for, and the only ones I'd ever even played at writing about was a sarcastic "go fuck yourself" with The Technopriests. At the time, and even more so now, I was struck by how out of touch it was to label all of these under one tent. Even with the scattered selection DC made, there was such a wide ranging variety of books, books like The White Lama that were really smart boy's adventure pulp stories (with tits, gore and Buddhism), books like The Hunting Party or The Nikopol Trilogy that stretched my own perception of what kind of comics I liked (I never expected to read a political dialog comic that I'd enjoy as much as Hunting), and of course, the doldrums of terrible that I put Sanctum and Transgenesis in. Comics--Europeans can put sand in my panties as easily as Americans!

What are your favorites of the Humanoids stuff you read? I'm firmly in the camp of hating-on-some-new-coloring for the Incal, although I do quite like it in the original version.

JM: Jeez, that takes me back to the avant-garde-gone-mainstream idea. Like you mentioned about Jodorowsky, you probably think of his movies first, and the prevailing opinion on that seems to be 'weird.' That's not set in stone, of course, but anyway - then you look at The Incal, his big splash, his big first long Moebius thing, and wow, it's pretty subdued. It's got a point of view, themes, right - it's not a three-act structure sort of comic. But it's way more of a straight-up adventure than anything Moebius was doing on his own at the time! It's one of the biggest projects the artist had done under the 'Moebius' name, but it's also pretty... normal. In comparison.

And I think there's something to that, the guiding of Moebius back into a more traditional style. It's funny, when you get the real AA+ level guys with Jodorowsky, the Girauds and the François Boucqs, he cools them down. They collect themselves into serving the story. While with, say, Georges Bess or Juan Giménez, he pushes them past where they'd been. He's like a star. Not a star writer (that too, though), but something that inspires orbit - quite a personality! All the odder that he writes these comics by meeting with the artists and basically relating the story to them rather than providing a script. Matthew Craig mentioned that he's got a little Stan Lee in him, and I agree.

TS: One of the things I didn't really grab about Jodorowsky's work until after doing this back and forth was how good the guy is at working with his artists. I'm so used to the serialized American comic, where the actual cohesion of give-and-take is completely random, that it was really striking to see him work with these guys in such different fashion. It's still fun to point out the rampant incest in the Jodorowsky books, regardless of what the plot is about, but I love how the dialog and pacing doesn't apply across the board. The bad guys in White Lama don't sound or act like the bad guys in Son of the Gun, and the Incal reads like neither. It's not that Jodorowsky doesn't take the reins, I almost wonder how much MORE involved he really is--it's that there's a true relationship between the story and the creative team. My top shelf out of the one's we read would be the Metabarons for pure raw entertainment, the Woman Trap portion of Nikopol for the "holy shit, this is big deal art" value, and the Chaland anthologies. Throw Hunting Party in there too, no matter how bad our US coloring might be, and you've got my favorites.

JM: I really fucking liked the Chaland stuff. Which we'll get to in a minute. I thought the Metabarons was the most perfect expression of Jodorowsky's worldview I've encountered, and enthralling for that. And the NogegoN portion of The Hollow Grounds, for being sad and strange and show-offy in all the best ways, love and humanity down before the eyes of god, but even god can't see everywhere. Rats live on no evil stars.

(From Different Ugliness, Different Madness)

TS: I think my least favorites are probably obvious--I thought Olympus was just terrible, whereas I found that Transgenesis thing to be as near to unreadable as anything could be possible. That's to be expected though-I can't imagine anybody looking at the entirety of the Humanoids/DC line and loving everything in it--but those two just stood out in their complete lack of purpose or passion.

JM: We had different Transgeneses, and I didn't read yours - oddly, your review didn't prompt a burning desire for purchase! No, mine was just dull and obvious. El Niño all but put me to sleep too. But really, I didn't think any of these books were straight-up horrible. I didn't read all the books you did, so maybe I'd dislike those as much as you, but there's a real lack of total incompetence here, although I suppose Humanoids maybe knew not to let the really bad stuff get out. On the flip side, I should also say that I totally appreciate the efforts of 'literary' comics publishers in getting the presumed cream of the crop out there, and yeah, I don't think the DC/Humanoids line had its own David B.'s Epileptic, like a serious best-of-decade contender in terms of North American releases. Although I know some might slip the Nikopol Trilogy in there, actually.

But hey, let's not get too conclusive; we've got two guys left to read.

TS: I feel confident in my belief that Olympus was the worst piece of shit in the bunch. Prove me wrong, ligne claire!

II. Yves Chaland is Dead

TS: Ah, the clean line, the "ligne claire"...how I recall the nights resting at my father's knee, "Tucker," he said to me, "Never forget the ligne claire, pioneered by Hergé in his many Tintin adventures."

JM: 'Ligne' and 'claire' were my third and fourth words as a child. 'Mama' placed tenth.

TS: So what were the first two? Miller and Mazzucchelli?

JM: Anyhow, Yves Chaland got a meaty two books dedicated to him in the DC/Humanoids adventure, the Chaland Anthology vols. 1 and 2. Book 1 covered three albums, 1981's The Will of Godfrey of Bouillon, 1984's The Elephant Graveyard and 1986's The Comet of Carthage. Book 2 sported two albums, 1988's Holiday in Budapest and 1990's F.52, the latter of which was published the year Chaland died in a vehicular accident. He was 33 years old.

TS: Why did you think Chaland was a "nostalgist bore"? I'll admit that I was mostly into him for the comedic value at first, although I was pretty sold on the look immediately. Correct me if I'm wrong: it was the comet story, right?

JM: The comet story (the third one) was what turned me around. It was the very first story, The Will of Godfrey of Bouillion, that put me off, in that I put the book away after reading it and didn't go back until you advised me to do so.

TS: Huh. I liked them both at first blush, but I'm a sucker for funny shit sometimes, and my relationship with the clean line was so limited at the time--they both worked for me pretty quickly. I don't know when else I'll get the chance to bring it up, so here's my favorite gags from The Will of Godfrey of Bouillion:

1: Freddy's Constant Scowling. Chaland always makes the guy go straight from normal to seething rage filled hate. He rarely follows through by vomiting acidic blood, but he always looks like he's on the verge.

2. The dream sequence reminded me of when Moonlighting would do dream sequences, where all the actors would show up as various 20's era gangsters and what not. Best joke would be "Stop groaning Freddy! It's annoying!" coming from Sweep the bowman to Freddy's "I'm not groaning! Who are you, anyway?"

3. Drunk Freddy arguing with a statue about the weather. Kills me. Kills me stone dead.

JM: Ah, I probably should have been more open-minded. Background, maybe? With me, the answer's always yes.

You see (you, reading this, not Tucker), the Chaland Anthology books were unique among DC/Humanoids projects in that they specifically set out to collect various and sundry short works by a single artist - one of the Bilal books, Memories, did that also, but that was only one book among various themed collections. Like I mentioned above, Humanoids put out a big oversized hardcover of the first volume in 2003, and then the DC deal had it reprinted as a standard-sized softcover, with a second volume following. Those two books were the only ones released before the DC deal fell through, and they happened to collect all of Chaland's work with this character called Freddy Lombard, who was named for the old Belgian publisher Le Lombard, which published Tintin and The Smurfs and a lot of classic series; it was a statement of intent. There were two other Chaland Anthology books in France, and our most valued commentator Pedro Bouca -- and seriously, we've got to thank Pedro right now for giving us great feedback on every portion of this series -- tells us they contained some very strong material, really sharply satiric work criticizing the racist, paternalistic aspects of early Franco-Belgian comics by adopting their visual style and cranking up the ugly themes 1000x.

Which is something latent to Chaland's style, I've since come to realize. He'd been a cartoonist since 1978, with a lot of earlier fanzine work behind him, and he'd done some 'realistic' work, but he became famous as one of the guys who brought the ligne claire back into the public eye. Joost Swarte was also on that; he actually coined the term "ligne claire." But Chaland's take wasn't just emulation; it was called the "Atomic" style, a meaningful appropriation of an aesthetic charged with a specific social quality of its time, an idealism and sense of boyish adventure, which Chaland contrasted with particular, difficult subject matter to bring out some criticism or special evocation. Like, using the look of Tintin to poke at what went down when he visited the Congo.

TS: Oh, I love what I've seen of Joost Swarte. Is that cool? Does that make me lame? I don't care. Please continue.

JM: One day that big Swarte collection really will be released by Fantagraphics, and oh the birds will sing.

There's a lot of sheer visual pleasure to the stuff. Chaland became really popular, for illustrations as well as comics, if I recall correctly. But I wasn't so sure of that back when I read the first Freddy Lombard story in the first Chaland Anthology, which didn't contain any context or historical info or anything. It's just adventure guy Freddy Lombard and his crew -- bald, irritated Sweep and headstrong Dina -- getting mixed up in a search for treasure in the mountains, and then there's a really fucking long dream sequence set in a Peyo-like Dark Ages slapstick palace, and then the story kind of runs around.

TS: Goddamnit Joe, the guy gets drunk and argues with a statue about the weather. Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water. The water tastes of baby. That shit ain't freely available.

JM: The trick is, we're not told right away it was an experiment. It was like 'automatic drawing' for Chaland, a whole album he finished in 30 days, just blowing through a page a day until the story looked done, which naturally accounts for the extra-long dream. His head was full of old-timey comics! It just came out! But I didn't know that until the historical stuff included in the back of the Chaland Anthologies vol. 2; it just seemed misshapen as a story, really old-fashioned, almost winking slapstick. I didn't see any point, given the man's reputation, which I did know about, at least!

Here's something: do you think not having immediate context really hurts this stuff?

TS: I definitely came back to the story with a different mindset after reading about the "automatic drawing" stuff, but I wouldn't say it changed my initial enjoyment of the comics themselves. The backmatter, where Chaland describes the "automatic" proces made me respect the stories more from an experimentation aspect, if you know what I mean. I definitely responded to the artist behind the comics differently after I read that stuff though. Chaland... man, I really wish there was more of his stuff out there. Here he was, from his own notes: "I believe in treating the reader badly..." I wish that kind of honesty was more widely available. All the constant "let's talk to our fans" "I'm so glad you liked it" "I wish i could win an Eisner, aw shucks." Fucking Chaland had gigantic testes, full of man milk. They totally should have put that quote on the cover.

JM: DDP, are you reading? There's two of these things left! No pun intended.

TS: That kind of frank, open behavior--I don't know, maybe it's just me, but every time I ever read cartoonists mentioning the "lack of respect" comics get from high art types, I just wish they'd shut the fuck up. Chaland knew he was an artist, he didn't need somebody to argue it for him, or write a book about why it was true. He was an artist, he made art, and fuck you if you thought comics were for kids. It hurts that there's not more of him to read. Died too young, too soon.

JM: Right. I'd have probably had a different reaction myself if I'd actually read deeper into the first anthology. The second album in there, the Elephant Graveyard - that's a diptych of stories, one of which sees Freddy & co. (and one of the things I like is that they're total mooches, just hanging around wherever until adventure beckons) ship off to Africa at the behest of a wacky collector who really wants a rare photographic plate for his horde. Conflict against natives results, and we're assured that Our Heroes have brought utter chaos to a region that's been peaceful for a quarter of a century. The second story is much darker, concerning murders among white African explorers at home in Paris, with a connection to poaching and violence on the continent years back. You've mentioned having some problems with the material on first blush?

TS: Yes, his depiction of black people in the Elephant Graveyard story threw me off. It did then, and I had always skipped that stuff on the re-read until the team-up. So yes, Pedro Bouca, our comment resident expert on Humanoids: I will freely admit that I was one of those overly-sensitive American readers offended by the garish stereotype, because I didn't do any research. After finishing this re-read, talking a little bit with you, reading the back-matter and, for the first time, looking into the guys work, I found out that it was purposely done that way as satire.

JM: Uh huh; the two stories in the album sort of compliment one another, although they're both pretty critical; the first one casts all of this violence as a goofy, repugnant game between these dumb arch-collectors of nonsense, while the second refuses to even leave Paris while all these muscular French he-man explorers are murdered, despite that jaunty title: The Elephant Graveyard! Plus, Chaland wants the book to feel like an old Lombard production, so there's sincere laffs and shit, which probably jars even worse.

TS: The thing that I think hurts this a bit is that I came at this first volume--which doesn't have any backmatter, and the blurb description on the back doesn't indicate any of Chaland's intentions--as a non-blogging, non-wikipedia reading, non-googling type. I just bought this at a comic store and read it, and if I'd never joined the dark forces of "write shit on the Internet" club, I don't know when that feeling would have changed. One of the things I see as a consistent complaint online is that attitude that people shouldn't dislike something, or be offended by something, without getting the context. In some cases, I can agree with that--David Brothers put up a couple of panels from a Garth Ennis Hellblazer story once, the "Don't call me whitey, nigger" panels--and some people pointed to that as racist despite not knowing anything about the comic that surrounded that panel. There, I'm on the side of the publisher, the writer: read the comic first, don't make this into some Aryan maternity test. But in the case of Elephant Graveyard, I think that it's a strange choice to have a 134 page trade collection without any acknowledgement or mention that the reason the natives are big-lipped Booga Booga types is because Chaland was being ironic on purpose.

You mentioned the possibility that putting this alongside the first story was the "tell" that Elephant Graveyard wasn't supposed to be standard racist depiction done for racist reasons. And while yes, I'm more inclined to agree with you now, that isn't something that I think is explicit enough to be clear to the majority of the American audiences. If we were dealing with something like Tintin in the Congo or Robert Crumb's "Nigger Hearts," a comic that is easily surrounded by an existent discussion of the imagery, if we're talking about the Mamie character in the Walt & Skeezix reprints, were Chris Ware says "Look, we know how bad this looks, and we agree, it's kind of fucked up," that's one thing.

But these Yves Chaland reprints from DC/Humanoids? This isn't something that has a lot of peers for American readers, they barely got this stuff into bookstores, which means you're stuck with one potential audience: the direct market reader. I don't think it was the right choice to put this out there and just optimistically expect everybody would get it. A change in the back cover text--just the addition of the word "satire," maybe the type of disclaimer that Chris Ware puts in the front of those Walt & Skeezix books... shit, I don't like this anymore than anybody else does. It's veering pretty close to hand-holding, I know. But these aren't huge selling comics where they can just cockily write off the portion of the audience that would see those Booga Booga types and get upset. When you're dealing with these things, which I think Brian Hibbs once said got pre-orders of less than 5000, every potential buyer matters.

I don't know, I feel bad about making a big deal out of this, I didn't intend to. I love these two collections of Chaland's stuff, I really do. I don't have any evidence, anecdotal or otherwise, that American readers were upset by the drawings. I just want more of this stuff available, and I really hope the reason that there isn't is just because American readers suck at buying good comics, and not that some American readers were offended by what they saw here. Because this is one of the times when I think there wasn't enough context freely available for them to make an argument otherwise.

JM: Sure, I totally understand.

And then, after that - oh man, the comet one. The Comet of Carthage. That's the big leap, right there; it's where I should have kept reading until, because I know it would have knocked me on my ass.

TS: The Comet of Carthage--and I'll admit, I'm counting a bit on you to explicate this--it's just about a perfect comic. I have a lot of affection for all of the stories contained here, despite my P.C. concerns as well as finding the first story in the second collection, Holiday In Budapest, to be a bit long-winded. But I've got zero complaints with Comet Of Carthage, and when it comes to being disappointed at the loss of a guy who wasn't even 33 when he died, it's the fantasy of more stories like Comet that motivates that feeling.

JM: How to describe it? I'm sure some of the shift in style comes from Chaland picking up a co-writer, Yann Lepennetier, who'd go on to work on every freddy Lombard story (so, three in total), but... it's like being slapped in the face. It's like Gilbert Hernandez stumbling on a lost Eddie Campbell Deadface script circa Doing the Islands With Bacchus -- I should mention right now that The Last of the Summer Wine, from the 1988 Harrier Bacchus series issue #2 is one of my favorite comic stories of all time -- and editing it in the smash-cut style of Love and Rockets at its most fevered. And, you know - Tintin references! Freddy Lombard 'n pals wandering around this unstuck-in-time place, a comet bearing down, scenes just barely connecting, mythological allusions everywhere, a mad professor in a submarine, a strange women in sunglasses - probably Nouvelle Vague too, actually. I loved this. LOVED it. The last page destroyed me.

It's funny, because none of it's 'realistic,' like even in the sense of evoking a '50s comic or anything. There's huge, huge word balloons and just... it somehow works? It's like an organic evolution of these comics into something that interacted with developments in French popular culture without shifting in pure surface aesthetic, like a crazy superfan's dream... does that make sense?

TS: Oh, I think I see where you're going with this. The timing of the whole thing, the way it delivers all the necessary tropes--the greasy scary guy with his mustache, the coming crisis of environmental destruction, the sultry seductress of mystery, the May-December romance--how it's all mashed up into one concise story? I'm terrible with France, my knowledge begins and ends with Godard and Ionesco. I think I have maybe two albums of popular French music, and both of them are terrible.

Those pages where "A princess" falls into the sea for Freddy to find her--I was knocked out by every little thing about it. The crash of the suitcase, the initial desperate grab for the picture of her and her sister, the why Chaland changed the direction of the rain to show how much worse the storm was getting, her scream of "NO" when the rocks started to fall...jesus, I'm not even looking at the comic, it's just nailed to my brain.

And yes, of course--the final pages of the comet coming down, even though we know it's not going to hit the Earth or something, the way it just punctuates this massive collapse, a tidal wave, an octopus...and then the sun comes up, and all that's left is wreckage.

JM: Then we get to Holiday in Budapest (the start of the DC/Humanoids vol. 2), and, naturally, it's different once again. I think more than anything else in the series it fulfills maybe the 'expectations' for a project like this, in that it's a logical, 'mature' version of a 1950s Franco-Belgian comic, which Chaland mentions as his intent in the back - it's like a comic of the period, but tackling unrest in that part of the world, with the goofy heroes agreeing to take some kid back home to the city to be a man and fight the Russians, and antics totally goddamned ensue. It's not quite on-the-level, I don't think, in that I haven't read a ton of comics from that period (like most English-only Americans; my French is seriously as good as that of mold in an apartment in Paris), and there's some 'spicy' stuff I suppose, but I don't see a lot of irony to it. It's 'mature Tintin,' basically.

TS: Not to be too sarcastic, but I'd say you're right, and that's probably why I preferred F.52, no matter that it had a little mentally handicapped girl that everybody calls retarded. My favorite thing about Holiday In Budapest was watching Sweep get laid--the cutesy whining socialist and his misadventures wore me out. I just kept hoping somebody would stick a grenade in that kid's mouth. What an irritating little twat.

JM: Oh, the sex scene is totally the best part. I really dug how it's mostly this increasingly improbably series of slapstick antics that Sweep gets into, but you know, the essence of slapstick is physicality, and she just keeps watching his body going through these absurd routines and getting more and more excited - it's great.

TS: Definitely! If you read Holiday In Budapest and just skip anything with or about the kid, you end up reading this really great comic about Sweep and his asshole pal, Freddy Lombard.

JM: So what about F.52? It's a 'chaos on a plane' children in peril special, terror at however many thousands of feet, little girl running from crazy people in an enclosed space, with a tear-off-the-roof ending (not literally). I liked it when Freddy murders a woman and starts screaming NO! I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT! or something, 'cause that's not supposed to happen! Much!

TS: F.52 doesn't have the same emotional punch to it that Comet did, but it's still pretty fucked up and insane. The violence in it is so brilliant--when the female part of the crazy couple beats the shit out of Dina, and the next time you see her there's just all kinds of gore hanging off her face--so amazing, and so out of nowhere. Or when the cabin crew brings the mentally handicapped girl back to the Jodie Foster stand-in (what was that movie called? Flightplan? Not Without My Daughter?) and she starts saying "This isn't my daughter" and then she fucking SHOVES the kid about 10 feet into a bunch of people? That's some pull-no-punches cruel comedy, it's like the Eastbound & Down of the ligne claire.

In some ways, I think F.52 wraps up Yves Chaland's Freddy work even better than Comet of Carthage. Now, I don't mean I like F.52 more, but I think this might be more of what he was going for with these Lombard adventures--clear antecedents in the "throw my characters in crazy circumstances to showcase what they do best" kind of plotting, the over-the-top, borderline juvenile humor, the somewhat obtuse addition of characters with weird motives and proclivities, and an overall tempo that just forces you to pump through the comic at whatever speed he dictates. On the other hand, Comet is a story that seems more direct and mature, a story that almost seems a little beyond the type of involvement Freddy and his pals provide. They seem--and this isn't so much a complaint or criticism--outclassed by the story surrounding them. In F.52, they couldn't be more at home: this is what they should be doing. Getting the holy fuck kicked out of them and accidently murdering people, all while wearing funny outfits.

JM: You've gotta wonder where he was going to take it from there. With this one he's adding graphic violence -- it's far and away the bloodiest of the Lombard stories -- to a sort of typical adventure setup. He mentions in the back that he liked the look of the aircraft. Very 'atomic,' which I'm sure sparked a lot of interest, although there was also a Tintin story set around a plane - Flight 714. They don't get on it until the end, though.

You're right; it's a good ending. The iconography of the final bit is powerful, and not just because of the circumstances surrounding Chaland's death that year (sadly, you can't escape that): nice vintage automobile, speeding into the air and falling gracefully into the sun. There goes the old style. There goes Yves Chaland.

III. Stanislas (Or the Decline and Fall of the '70s Avant-Garde)

TS: I'm really curious to what you have to say about Stanislas & Rullier's By The Numbers, since I don't think that's one you and I have talked about at all the way we did about Chaland, Bilal, Jodorowsky. Without knowing in advance, i'll take a plunge and say that I liked this one as well, although I think it goes into different territory completely than Chaland does, despite it sharing a similar "look". For one, it's more direct in its ambition to be a comic about French people in Vietnam--I think there's even something in the end notes where the writer talks about how he wished there were more comics out there about the subject, but I didn't get a specific reason beyond that. He just wanted there to be comics set in that time period.

JM: It is a very straightforward historical adventure piece, isn't it?

For all you who may not know -- which is to say, possibly everyone besides Evan Dorkin -- By the Numbers is a series of books released between 1990 and 2004 by writer Laurent Rullier and artist 'Stanislas' (Barthélemy). There's actually only four of them, the first two of which were collected into the DC/Humanoids edition, although the supplements suggest there's probably been a number of revisions made to the material across various printings. As it is, the DC/Humanoids edition ends on a logical stopping point, although it's obvious the story isn't entirely over.

The books focus on this guy, Victor Levallois, who narrates the various stories from 1968, where he's a middle-aged balding guy with a lot of experience behind him. Most of the books are actually flashbacks that follow his life's path, from being a mild-mannered accountant in the late '40s to finding himself mixed up in money-making schemes in Saigon, and eventually falling in with a mixed crew of revolutionary opium smokers, not entirely ex-Nazis, action-starved volunteer French soldiers and a whole lot of grifters and rich kids who enjoy the notion of sex with 14-year old prostitutes. There's an apparently popular scheme going on at the time, exploiting legally-controlled exchange rates of currency, allowing for francs and dollars and piastre to get passed around for big French profits. Most of the dollars wind up going to anti-French forces in the area, but not a lot of folks seem to care - they're totally amoral in that regard, and Victor (an accountant!) comes to profit as well as the years go by. And he falls in 'love' with a young woman, of course, who's got a thing for gambling, and then the tides of history come in to wash it all away, etc. etc.

I was pretty startled by the depictions of morality in the book - I think that sets it apart as more 'novelistic' (oh god, there's a trap I've stepped into) than comics or movies or whatnot often art, in that there's a lot of nuance going on. Like, 14-year old prostitutes... that's fucking awful, there's all these terrible conclusions to draw from that, yet otherwise sympathetic characters are depicted as taking part of this type of vacation from morality. It's a real playground of paternal profit, as depicted, and the book really does an effective job of showing Victor's sort of conflicted delight in that world... he enjoys making money, Stanislas always draws him smoking that smart cigarette - what an ass!

TS: Yes, there's a definite paternalistic quality to this whole thing--while Victor doesn't behave atrociously or anything, and I'd imagine he's probably depicted a bit nicer than your standard "emigre with superiority complex," the entire relationship between him and his Vietnamese lover comes across as being a sort of "I look after you and your gambling problems, you dumb native chick, you'll love me whether you want to or not" kind of attitude. I'd bet there's some accuracy to that, romanticized as it might be.

JM: What did you make of Stanislas? His art? I think he added an extra layer of depth, in that he drafts all these rather unadorned 'just living' scenes without a lot of judgment as to the moral situation. There's the great bit early on with Victor carrying a little kid through a yard and into a house; it's not detailed art, but it's so lived-in, really evocative stuff without resorting to 'show your work' type of historical detail overload. It's really nice.

TS: It's interesting how the entire "feel" of the story's time and place were defined (to me at least) by those party sequences. Just a bunch of lazy French-types hanging around and drinking too much in some really precious attempts at beatnik lifestyle. It worked well when things start to get nasty, when they run out of money and the Vietnamese gangster types start turning against them. The portions on the ship, the shoot out at the dump--that stuff is all well and good, but I didn't get a sense that was specific to Vietnam or France. It was just a shoot out at a dump. But when you see those cocky pricks and their hammocks, with their stilted arguments about politics and their gross behavior towards the locals--that locked it into something out of The Quiet American.

Stanislas doesn't seem to have the same blowing-up-the-spot kind of art that some of these cats do, although I think there's some moments of real excitement in By The Numbers. When I think about the collection--of which DC/Humanoids only released one, although the title "Volume 1" makes it seem like more was coming--the stuff that stood out the most for me was that war page in the second story, where most of the violence is shown through all red panels with the word "Bom" while black shadows shoot guns. Except for the "oops! sorry." dialog, there's just that one line at the end, "It lasted all night". That was a pretty tasty page.

JM: He also manages to put together the occasional 'awesome' bit - the part at the end of chapter 1 with the fellow who's been sitting around (possibly all night!) with a gun trained on a guy's head - I liked the meshing of the story and art there, in that there's a sort of unassuming (and thus awful; frightening) 'no big deal' quality to guys getting shot.

TS: Oh, yeah, that part also had my favorite piece of dialog in the whole comic. Right before he shoots that guy, Mr. All Nighter says "I used to know an oberleutenant who got his throat slit by a 13-year-old girl!" That's the way he distracts him? It's such a random interjection. And then he shoots him from a seated position with a machine gun. Like you said, it's totally unassuming and awful--the guy just blows the dude to pieces from point blank range in the middle of the day. While sitting down. No negotiation, no "is there another way", he just kills him and leaves, so he can go to bed.

JM: Here's something - I tend to associate Stanislas' art more with, say, Dupuy and Berbérian and that kind of latter-day cartooning look, even though I suspect that the period setting of the series associates it with the clear line. What do you make of that?

TS: Oh, I'd definitely agree with the Dupuy/Berbérian connection. By The Numbers may be clear line, but it's a contemporary clear line. It's also almost universally a thinly lined comic, everything in here looks like it's not far removed from the type of layouts you see whenever a company publishes a cartoonists style. There's none of the type of brushed in depth you see in Chaland, where thick lines are added to Freddy's face to define his mood. By The Numbers is a really tightly boxed comic too, sort of the way Moebius laid out the Blueberry stuff I just read. Some of these pages have 20 panels, the only reason it doesn't smother the story is because they're all so clean to look at.

JM: Yeah. There's probably a bit less to talk about with a story like this in that it just sort of darts forward - I did think it kind of starts to lose impact once the shit really hits the fan by the end and Victor goes bananas trying to find his lover -- and period-psychological accuracy or not, I'll cop to never, ever being much of a fan of the old-school 'headstrong woman who dooms her man through his intense love and winds up a whore dying in agony, one presumes for her sins' character type; I do think the work buys into those genre (historical fiction genre) elements a bit -- where he's falling in and out of occasion in various locations, dodging death. I think the observational qualities got a bit lost there, even though there's still some skillful character bits. It's a very neatly composed work. Sure do wish we'd get the second half.

TS: The thing that I found interesting about his pursuit of the girl was that, whether it was intended or not, I never got the sense he loved her. Victor treated that girl like property, and his pursuit of her read like another version of Victor pursuing something that doesn't belong to him, but that he's laid claim too, the same way France treated Vietnam: we give a shit because we've decided we know better. Victor spends a good portion of the first volume chasing some money that doesn't belong to him so he can pretty much steal it himself, and then he spends the second half chasing a woman who he doesn't love so much as he believes she belongs to him. France in Indochina--they screwed around for a while and then America turned it into a blood-soaked debate on communism. Either way, it was white people just saying "We know better" to a bunch of natives. Victor, for all his qualities, isn't much different.

JM: There's more than one type of historical quality present too. The first of these books came out in 1990 - exactly the same year Stanislas co-founded the famous French alternative publisher L'Association with Jean-Christophe Menu, David B., Killoffer, Lewis Trondheim and Todd McFarlane. No, wait... Mattt Konture. And Mokeït, who stopped releasing work almost right after he started, thus forever branding him the Whilce Portacio of French comics. For me.

TS: Somebody should review every Wetworks related comic at some point. That would make for prime time reading.

JM: And it's funny, because L'Association wound up raising the banner of the avant-garde that Les Humanoïdes used to wave. That's totally a rough statement, granted - if anyone wants to learn more, I 100% recommend Bart Beaty's very fine book Unpopular Culture: Transforming the European Comic Book in the 1990s, which should fill you in on a lot of the stuff going on. But there's... I think Jodorowsky ruined my brain, because I'm thinking in such odd ways, but there's an odd symbolism to Humanoids releasing this work from the year L'Association opened, out into the midst of this broken effort to re-introduce the publisher's material to a North American audience, doomed to failure while it's the children of L'Association itself that finds such purchase, as far as the cultural perception of 'Eurocomics' goes. It's like their world, even though they're not 'mainstream' at all - the cultural capital is great, though. Maybe the exchange rate it better, like back in Indochina in the '40s.

IV. Howling Disaster

JM: Tucker, why do you think DC/Humanoids failed?

TS: Here's the thing: it isn't that the Humanoids Publishing empire is somehow better as a whole than any other publishing company.

JM: Gosh no; this is some alternate dimension shit, a 'real mainstream' apart from our reality.

TS: They put out crap, so does everybody else, and the lens for that crap is going to get focused even tighter by the basic stumbling block that the DC/Humanoids deal wasn't designed with any real aesthetic methodology behind it. DC picked the books they thought they could sell, they shoved them out on a ridiculous publishing schedule that was, regardless of who came up with it, indefensibly stupid, and they didn't back them up with any real marketing or ambition beyond turning to the internet for some token press releases--which the internet is already drowning in. They picked books that were demonstrably successful in other markets, including some that Humanoids had already brought to American market, they picked ones that were new and vaguely relatable to bookstore friendly graphic novels, but they did it in a haphazard, stupid fashion. What was Different Ugliness, Different Madness supposed to compete with in a comic book store? The Drawn & Quarterly and Fantagraphics books that those stores didn't carry or have an audience for? What was the point of re-releasing the Metabarons, the Nikopol Trilogy, White Lama, Sanctum and the Technopriests when the Humanoids versions of those titles had been released just a few years earlier and failed to crack the market? What was the point of a unified production design, one that matched the also-botched 2000 AD reprints, if the books were going to lack a unified content as well?

JM: Ha, the unified book design was almost all DC did in that regard; it took the million formats of the old Humanoids's Direct Market efforts and ordered them into a standard line. God rid of the blankets over the nudity too. And yeah, they had the Rebellion deal going on at the same time (somebody take this excessive reviewing baton and run!) - interesting on the similar format. Like all the foreign stuff goes in the same place, except for manga. Ah, but I'm sure they only wanted to make them easier to sort, or sell.

TS: Oh, I'd agree that it was a good bookstore choice, but it's also not something that can make magic happen. I like that MOME and the new Love and Rockets, House, Jessica Farm are all the same size, and I like that all my Humanoids are the same size, but come the fuck on: you can't just do that and some email bombing and call it a day. Grow the fuck up.

JM: I agree, I agree.

TS: It's one thing to publish a bunch of Humanoids reprints that focus on science fiction, which was the rough majority of DC's choices, and it's another to split the difference and throw in a black & white 30's 'feelings' comic, a short throwaway script Geoff Johns came up with in the weeks prior to when his DC-exclusive contract took effect, and a couple of compilation albums of satirical ligne claire work that looks like Tintin by way of chain smoking sarcasm. That's not a publishing imprint. That's vomiting books out, and it's no surprise at all that it couldn't crack a direct market--the store where I picked up many of these books on the release dates had no idea what or how many to order, they were completely dependent on the sort of people who read the monstrous Previews catalog, and while it's a debate I'm not wholly invested in, I do think the idea that the consumer should read through fucking Previews to find comics is completely fucking ridiculous.

DC/Humanoids, like DC and Marvel always seem to do, expected stores and consumers to trust them, to just order and order and order away, to just suck it up and build a new shelf for a bunch of comics a bare minimum of customers realistically knew existed. The intent was obvious enough--if DC could get the Tintin audience with Chaland, Rulliers & Stanisals, they'd have a foot in the door in a way that the adventures of Supergirl couldn't crack, if they could get the Palookaville and Alex Toth sketchbook audience with Different Madness, if their stand-alone science fiction sagas and epic Jodorwosky tales could do this, so on, so forth...the mentality was solid, that makes sense. The Humanoids books offered something that Vertigo and DC Universe titles didn't, still don't, and probably never will. (Unless something changes, I can't see Vertigo publishing stuff like Different Ugliness while Marvel MAX puts out the Metabarons, Soliel reprints notwithstanding.)

I think these things had a chance, and while I don't know if Devil's Due is the right home for them--I never know how much one should rely on that crazy Lying In The Gutters guy, but he's nailed that company for non-payment a few times--it's just ridiculous to me that something like Bilal, or Jodorowsky, comics that have huge exposure and name recognition amongst a swath of non-American readers besides Pedro Bouca. Tintin sells here: so could Chaland. Bad science fiction comics sell here: so could good science fiction comics. Huge epic kill-fest comics sell here: so could Metabarons.

I work in advertising, and I hate it when idiots just say that the solution is "marketing," so I won't just say that. But NOBODY EVEN TRIED with the DC run. They just chucked them out non-stop! It's not like there's a business decision that I can pick apart here, because DC didn't even come up with a business decision, beyond the actual format, which is honestly the only thing I think they got right. I can understand the criticisms against it from a purely comics-as-art standpoint, nobody wants to be forced into a specific size. But the Humanoids/DC line wasn't showing up with a huge amount of fanfare, and making some kind of "however the artists wants it" decision probably wouldn't have been the right call. (Bill Watterston didn't demand control over his Sunday pages in the first year of Calvin and Hobbes, he did that when he had the clout to pull it off.) Unified production design isn't the most attractive thing in the world, but if these books had made it to bookstores in a more expansive way, it would have made them more attractive.

But really, I'm just spitballing random opinionated specifics. If there was a business plan in place for DC/Humanoids, it was a completely mysterious "hope for osmosis and cold fusion" one. I can criticize what I think it was and brainstorm rough drafts of what I think it should have been, but the simple truth is that they didn't try anything at all beyond the physical printing of material. So here's the simple answer, which I should have put before all these paragraphs: They didn't do anything. They should have tried something.

JM: That's very well put. When I look at these things, I'm really taken with the futility of struggling against history. Because the last time Humanoïdes found themselves introduced to the North American comics audience, there also didn't seem to be much of a plan besides trusting the National Lampoon people with making a nice magazine -- and if you look at some of Jean-Pierre Dionnet's comments, some of them felt their trust was misplaced, in an aesthetic sense -- which, if you really look at those early issues, turned out to be some ferociously newcomer-unfriendly shit! There'd be whole issues composed of nothing but middle chapters of serials and pin-ups, there was no fucking context or artists' statements or recaps or anything, just 'look at all this cool shit, it's great!' and there really was a positive reaction. Yeah! That is great!

It was a different time. Print magazines were still a solid concern; National Lampoon was very popular. American comics and comics readers were really hospitable to that kind of work. The maturation of the form seemed to match up at that moment, in the US and France, which is funny, since France & Belgium used to lag behind a bit in the '50s compared to the US and Japan - I bet if we ever see a lot of examples of the gekiga Yoshihiro Tatsumi works on in A Drifting Life, it wouldn't be a thousand miles off from the baby steps taken by Charles Biro's crime comics. But Japan made a choice to keep going forward, and the US found itself acting differently, from political, social pressure - many factors. Heavy Metal was witness to a new instant of international union, dramatic as that sounds. Odd things came in; they always do at those times.

There'll be more times like that, although who knows what it'll involve. Certainly that wasn't the case with Humanoids, with or without DC. They contorted, cut, capered and cried for access, and they got it - too much. What barking madness, eh?

TS: The best thing that can be said about DC's failure, the way I see it, is that I don't think anybody with any sense would see what they did and use that as evidence that there's no audience for what guys like Bilal, Yves Chaland or Alejandro Jodorowsky have to offer. These things may have sold miserably--by all accounts, that seems to be true--but it seems just as obvious that was more because anything would fail when presented with this little intent and design. One of the things you touched on in your own review of Bilal's The Beast Trilogy was that he was an artist who regularly sees another "push" to get him over here. You go on Amazon right now, or eBay, you find people offering and selling copies of his work for insane prices--these guys aren't going anywhere.

And the thing is, as much as I want the artists I like to succeed while still alive enough to enjoy it, some of these guys won't feel it until they, like Tatsumi, hit 70, and some of them won't hit it until after they're dead. They didn't all make books that have those kind of legs, but some of them did, and I want to believe that the good will out, and that someday down the line you won't have to bust your ass and break into your savings just to find out how great The Woman Trap is.

JM: These artists, though - maybe their fame right now is all they want. The North American comics industry can pretend that where it goes follows the world, but honestly? I don't think many people do that anymore. I think most of us that know these names know of the respect that a lot of them already have; what's ours but icing? Gravy? Brown icing? Another revenue stream? Another 10,000 copies sold, atop Bilal's 400,000? Jodorowsky didn't sound like he needed sound like he needed attention from our neck of the woods on Newsarama.

But yeah, what about the discovery? For North American readers, English-only? It's hard to even talk about some of these books, given that some of them have already become so rare and costly; speaking of lessons learned on this trip!

It's not over. Humanoids is still around. Cracks are still visible in the taped-over window. Comics are better and worse than they were half a decade ago. And something's gonna happen again. We don't need another five years to tell you that.

Hibbs hits 5/5

Capsules, everyone loves them, here we go!

ASTRO CITY THE DARK AGE BOOK THREE #1 (OF 4): I really like ASTRO CITY. I don't like "The Dark Age" all that much. It might because of the eons between releases (the letter column suggests this problem is solved during this particular run); or it might be because I just don't find the two brothers to be all that compelling (at least not such much to sustain a 16 issue arc). The idea of a look at a minion training camp in one of those "vast villain groups" is sorta amusing, but I'll be happy if AC goes back to the done-in-one storylines that characterized much of prior runs. OK.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #25 CHEN CVR: I don't necessarily have that much to say about this specific issue -- it's nice to see what the dealio with Dawn's shape-changing was all about, but I'm missing any real Big Bad Action (have we seen ANYthing in the "overall" story in the last half dozen issues? The last time was in "Time of Your Life" where they kinda acted stupid, and was abandoned in mid-threat, no?) -- it's a solid entry in the series, but it nearly feels like marking time to me. On the other hand, that cover is totally cool -- note perfect romance novel cover, with a slimy monster in the Fabio role. I'll still say GOOD.

CEREBUS ARCHIVE #1: Regardless of what you think about Dave Sim, getting a look into a "here's my journey as an artist and publisher" is pretty amazing, especially from stuff 30 years back when the market was a very different thing. Same concerns though, interesting, but they didn't have email. I hope this does well enough to continue for another 50 issues, at least. GOOD.

FIN FANG FOUR RETURN #1: *joy* Totally silly, and probably not actually in continuity, but I could easily read 4 of these a year. I laughed several times, and I'm ecstatic seeing more Landridge. Great cartooning, and great wit. VERY GOOD.

FINAL CRISIS AFTERMATH RUN #1 (OF 6): What I don't get, if you're going to spin off the "Final Crisis" "brand" is to launch with a series featuring a loathsome idiot, who isn't just unsympathetic, but someone who I'd actively like to see the Spectre mete out some Ironic Punishment to. And it's supposed to sustain itself for SIX issue? Really? From a craft perspective it's perfectly adequate, but this isn't a sales environment where "perfectly adequate" is sufficient. Especially in following up a huge blockbuster. Very EH.

IRREDEEMABLE #2: Stronger than the first issue, that's for sure, but too many of it's beats felt like them came from that issue of ASTRO CITY that riffed on the Superman/Lois secret identity thing. Plus there's a little too much "normalcy" in a world where an entire city has been wiped out like that. I'll give it one more issue to really grab me, but so far this is OK.

LOEG III CENTURY #1 1910: A nice return to form, with a solid and chilling story that's also clearly setting up way more in the future. I can't wait for the annotations! If you didn't really care for BLACK DOSSIER, you'll probably love this. I know I did. EXCELLENT.

NEW MUTANTS #1: While the title and cast is sorta Running to Stand Still (I mean, they're hardly "new"), this was perfectly competent, and maybe an eensey bit compelling. The book doesn't feel like it has a mission statement whatsoever, and that's probably the general problem with the X-books overall, but if you have a fond feeling for these characters, this should make you reasonable happy. Strongly OK.

POWER GIRL #1: What's up with the Phylis Diller face on the non-Connor cover? Jinkies! This character has just too much backstory, really, but I'd rather read this kind of Supergirl than the current one in the Super-line. And Amanda Connor's art is simply yummy. Did I ever admit publicly that it was only just a year or three back that I actually realized that PG was the Supergirl of Earth-2? No? I know, I am dumb as heck sometimes. I sorta want to give this a GOOD, but it's just below that line (but not by a ton), so: OK

SEAGUY THE SLAVES OF MICKEY EYE #2 (OF 3): Hopefully Jeff or someone will be along shortly to tell me what I'm reading (that dumb thing a para ago? Never applies more than to Morrison comics!) -- I really LIKED it, but I didn't have a clue as to what was actually going on. Still "bulldressers" is kind of madly brilliant. GOOD, despite my stupidity.

SWORD OF MY MOUTH #1: I kinda wanted to like this (the art is swell), but that lettering made my eyes bleed. Lettering should never fight the art, ever. And the lettering (alone) makes me say AWFUL.

As always, what did YOU think?

-B

Diana Goes Digital #600: The Water's Rising But I Know The Course

Are you still trying to figure out how a man who once tried to sacrifice his nemesis to Magical Goblin People now seems to control the American government? Have you been stunned speechless at the sight of Bat-Signal Jazz Hands? Do you have the distinct impression that this is your daddy's Flash? If the answer to any of the above is "YES MY GOD MAKE THE HURTING STOP", then you probably understand my current near-total apathy towards mainstream comics. And that's really why I haven't been as active here as I should be: every week I take home a bunch of comics, and I read them, and I find myself with absolutely nothing to say. We've even passed the point where creative failures are interesting enough to merit discussion: I had a lot to say about CIVIL WAR #7 despite it being one of the worst comics Marvel published that year, but Wolverine's Sword of Otaku? What-ever.

And so we return to the Webcomic Review! I let this project lapse a while back on account of Too Much Damn Work To Do, but in the words of Mark Hammill: "I'm tanned, I'm rested and I'm ready to give this town a wedgie again!" Let's start with SKIN HORSE, the latest from webcomic mastermind Shaenon Garrity. Some of you may recall my high praise of Garrity's previous series, NARBONIC - one of the best webcomics I've had the pleasure of reading - and I'm glad to say that SKIN HORSE retains a lot of those strengths without feeling like a rehash.

As with NARBONIC, SKIN HORSE derives its humor from its delightfully madcap premise: the title refers to a government task force that deals with "nonhuman sapients", such as human/lion hybrids and opera-singing silverfish. The team consists of Sweetheart (a genetically-engineered canine), Unity (a zombie) and Tip (a crossdressing heterosexual therapist), and they constantly find themselves having to quell an uprising of Canadian werewolves or to placate a sentient attack helicopter addicted to "World of Warcraft".

It might take a while to warm up to the characters, because Garrity has avoided using the archetype of the "straight man" as a way of easing us into this world; even Tip, arguably the most grounded member of the cast, has his quirks and isn't at all phased by the rampant weirdness. But once you jump that hurdle, I defy you to not be amused by Sweetheart's penchant for goblin erotica or the misadventures at the Department of Irradiation.

The series has been running since January 2008, but every storyline so far has been self-contained (unlike the "Uber-Arc" that ran throughout NARBONIC). Obviously, this strategy has pros and cons: on the one hand, every arc is theoretically accessible on its own, so if you're pressed for time you could just start with the currently-in-progress Dead Dogs and fill in the backstory at your convenience. On the other hand, my #1 favorite moment of NARBONIC was that exact moment where all the pieces started fitting together, where Garrity's long-term plan was finally revealed. Now, it might be too early in the series' run to completely dismiss the possibility of a "bigger picture", but so far there haven't been many plot elements carried over from one storyline to the next.

Still, those are minor quibbles given the consistency of Garrity's artwork and her fourth-panel punchlines. A lot of craft goes into this comic - check the filenames of each strip and you'll find the Secret Origin of Tip Wilkins - and that's no small feat given its daily format (story strips are posted Monday through Saturday, with Sundays set aside for sketches and fan-art). An EXCELLENT series with plenty of potential to get even better over time.

The Best He Is At What He Does, As Long As That Isn't Preventing Rampant Piracy

Mr. Claremont, you're a man of strong opinions. Who would you say your favorite Wolverine writers are, besides you?

"Len Wein. Archie Goodwin...[long pause]...well, he isn't a writer, but a creative force: Hugh Jackman."

[8 second pause at least, give or take when I actually started counting out of confusion at whether he was done talking]

"Oh! Larry Hama." So I watched that X-Men Origins: Wolverine movie, and while I have to admit to being impressed that the popularity of overly wordy titles with colons has made their way from Batman Battle For The Cowl: Holy God In Heaven You People Will Learn To Like Hush to the feature film marquee--although I think we should still give credit to Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever--I can't honestly say that I really enjoyed the movie that much. Let's get back to that in a second. When we do, there will be spoilers.

I actually had Wolverine on the brain already, because earlier this week I went to the esteemed Museum of Cartoon & Comic Art, so that I could take in the final days of their current installment, From Riche Rich to Wendy The Witch: The Art of Harvey Comics. While there, a panel literally rose up around me, like my pants often do. It was called "Wolverine: Inside The World Of The Living Weapon," which I thought was an EXCELLENT name, as it corresponded to a recently released coffee table book about that same blade-fingered hairy midget. Hell, even the writer of the book, Matthew Manning, was there! And so was Chris Claremont! And they were there to talk about Wolverine! And I read Wolverine comics! I use exclamation marks when I think about Wolverine! 

It wasn't really my thing. I'm not even really sure whose thing it was, since Sabretooth's Number One Fan was there and even he seemed kind of put out by the whole thing. Seriously, Wolverine: Inside The World of the Living Weapon-The Critical Symposium, it's okay if you can't turn me on: i'm a hipster douche who reads Nana. But c'mon. Sabretooth's number one fan? He should be doing a lot more than being confused about why, exactly, Chris Claremont is writing a follow-up series to a comic from 1991. That was, of course, what an event designed to promote a coffee table book turned into: an event designed to promote Claremont's upcoming X-Men Forever series. Matthew Manning got in some time when he could-he definitely mentioned that Wolverine was too tall in Grant Morrison's version of the comic, a mistake that led Chris Claremont to excitedly tell everybody that X-Men Forever will soon remedy by showing Logan as being a head shorter than Jean Grey on the first of its many splash pages. But there wasn't really much said about Wolverine himself that you can't find on a message board or a bathroom stall--Claremont's description of the character's home wouldn't have been out of order if it had been used to describe the hideouts Two-Face always has, there was a vocal dismissal from both audience and Claremont when Manning attempted to explain the current status of Romulus or Romulack or Rom: Space Robot and his place in the "lineage" of Logan's history, the word "animal" was used quite a bit...overall, it was exactly what you'd expect from that sort of thing if you imagined what it would be instead of going. It was Chris Claremont talking about his X-Men stories and his idea of who Wolverine is. He's "mysterious". He's "struggling with the animal".

Which--sure, I guess that's right. It's certainly not wrong. I always kind of figure Wolverine works best when he's got non-Wolverine-people around him, so those people can be sort of grossed out/fascinated by him, depending on his willingness to just kill shit with the knives that come out of his hands. He works when you don't have to think about him too hard, because, like a lot of comic book super-hero characters with the gritty emotional problems, I don't really find any pleasure in Thinking About Them. The pleasure is in them Doing Stuff, and Wolverine is a good go-to guy when it comes time for Doing Stuff while Saying Something That Is Hardcore. He's got gigantic razor claws, he can recover from being shot in the mouth, and he's more than willing to decapitate and maim. I'm not so sure why that needs a background--which is one of the subjects where I pretty much agreed with Chris Claremont, who said "I don't care about the adventures of Weapon X or the history of Wolverine. It's about what happens next." (The irony that he will soon be publishing a comic that ignores 18 years of what happened next in the X-Men universe seemed lost on Claremont, but hey, I don't really think much about Onslaught Reborn either, and from what I hear, Chuck Austen's time on the series caused many cases of CancerAids.) 

Of course, no matter what was supposed to happen at MOCCA, the impetus for the event had to be the Hugh Jackman--third best Wolverine writer--film that came out in theaters today following a successful month-long run for free on the Internet. Now, it's of course totally wrong to steal, and we all know that, and yet: I walk down Canal Street enough to know that until the NYPD officers standing 14 yards away from the guy selling five dollar copies of X-Men Origins: Wolverine start saying "Hey buddy, you're really screwing over the Hollywood people", I think the whole moral complaint is going to be problematic to enforce. It's not just that the police don't care about digital piracy--which they don't--it's that the guys selling pirated movies know full and fucking well that the police don't care. But hey, it's out now. Did you see it?

Yeah, it's pretty dumb.

Now, don't get me wrong: I like action movies. I like super-hero movies too, especially when they also double as good action movies. Some of what's on tap in Wolverine isn't that bad, either, particularly the part where Wolverine goes flying into the air and destroys a helicopter. It's not as cool as when Chris Bachalo did something similar, or when the T-1000 drove a motorcycle into a helicopter, but still: it's a guy destroying a helicopter with his hands. As long as you've got decent special effects guys on the team, that's going to be difficult to screw up. The problem with Wolverine--which is the same problem that any action movie has, most of the time--is everything that isn't a "sort of cool" action sequence. Which is a good 50% of the movie. That number is probably higher, now that I think about it.

I'll admit, the film didn't really grab me right away, with its opening introduction of Logan, the sickly kid from the Secret Garden turned patricidal partner of Victor, the kid who is a creepy sociopath. It's not that I'm so in love with the character that I don't want to see him "sullied" as a whining crybaby, it's that I don't really want to watch any movie that opens with bad child actors doing and saying dumb things, no matter whether it happens for one minute or five. From there, it skips right past a sort of fan-fiction/Wolverine Origins Wet Dream, by showing Hugh Jackman and Liev Shrieber run across the sets of The Patriot, Glory, Paths of Glory, and Saving Private Ryan, thus denying me the chance to see a scenery-chewing Sabretooth rip off Tom Hanks' dying face as he stutters out "Earn this." This sequence, which portrays war as being an occupation best held by men who like to run in slow motion up and down hills, climaxes with a thirty second take on Casualties of War, wherein Sabretooth's plans to rape are interrupted by a selfish superior who Liev apparently decapitates, if I heard the dialog correctly. After a failed execution of both Jackman and Schreiber, the two end up on a team made up of some other Marvel characters and led by Danny Huston, who couldn't be less similar in apperance to Bryan Cox unless his character was played by a Chinese woman. After a couple of action sequences, Wolverine decides he's had enough of killing innocent people, which means that the last 100 years he spent tooling around with Sabretooth was a time when he was either blind drunk or mentally retarded, since it's made abundantly clear that's all that Sabretooth likes to do, and he goes off to play in the woods with some girl and blah blah blah let's coat him with liquid metal and have some more action sequences. Oh look! Cyclops and Gambit!

It's not that Wolverine's plot is a little confusing--i've seen that comment made by the non-comics based movie reviewers--it's that it doesn't make any sense at all. Why does Wolverine get tired of slaughter in a random African village after a good 100 years of it? Why does he all of a sudden decide he can't be around Sabretooth anymore at that exact moment, instead of maybe earlier, when Sabretooth was going to rape a local Vietnamese girl? Why does William Stryker come up with such a convoluted and bizarro plan to get Logan to participate in the Weapon X project? Why does the movie take a comedy break for the fat guy from Austin Powers to drink Powerade? Again, think of that helicopter explosion: of course you put that in a movie like this. It sounds great on paper. But when has casting Will.I.Am ever sounded good on paper? For anything?

I'm not going to pretend I wouldn't enjoy watching a Wolverine movie--maybe one based off his Frank Miller adventures, maybe even an origin flick as horror film based off Barry Windsor-Smith's Weapon X story--but I'm also not going to struggle to enjoy something like this when there's far more entertaining and less irritating action movies. For me?
Dude, this sucker was straight up EH. 

 

Chris Attempts to Write Capsules

Hey, long time no see. I've been remiss in picking up single issues of anything lately, and my trade review is being held up until I can rewatch Major League for research purposes, so I grabbed some Big Name Titles off the shelf and attempted to write capsules for them. They turned out more like horsepills. Amazing Spider-Man #592 by Mark Waid & Mike McKone The past two issues' set-up for “24/7” was goofy in all the wrong ways: dumb science poorly applied to handwave a two month gap that in turn handwaves a bunch of supporting cast developments. Still, as headline-grabbing high concepts go, J. Jonah Jameson: Mayor of New York is a fun one. It's also nice to see someone going Full-Time Superhero without any of the “my civilian identity is only a façade, I must save EVERYONE” angst that traditionally spurs on this trope. Waid and McKone have enough fun with the concept that I can even forgive their “Look Who Aunt May’s Having Sex With!” scene at the end, something that's somehow become its own trope in recent years. Like a surprising number of recent Spider-Man stories, this is GOOD.

Hulk #11 by Jeph Loeb & Ed McGuinness Three things about Hulk: 1. As if the 1990s weren’t back already with Skrull Kill Krew and Fantastic Force on the shelves, this book channels that decade's insatiable appetite for splash pages. This issue's got forty four panels over the course of twenty two pages. I know this is supposed to be the big dumb action fight book, but really? 2. I enjoyed McGuinness and Dexter Vines’s efforts last issue to channel John Buscema and John Romita on the Silver Surfer and Namor flashbacks (why no Gene Colan style for Dr. Strange, though?). Those style changes come back briefly in this issue, but with no real rhyme or reason. I'm wondering if I was projecting the whole thing. 3. Jeph Loeb’s cannibal fetish must be stopped. Between Killer Croc in Hush, Ultimate Blob, Sabretooth in his Wolverine run and now an adamantium-tooted Tiger Shark declaring his intention to EAT NAMOR ALIVE, this is a troubling pattern. I realize that mass murder, rape and murdering children have become old hat in modern day comics, but that doesn’t mean we need yet another lazy shortcut to badass villainy. If you're young or drunk, I guess this might be OKAY. It aspires to be nothing other than dumb slam-bang action, and its little stubby T-Rex arms of ambition can handle such a short reach.

Justice League of America #32 by Dwayne McDuffie & Rags Morales Some important things to remember about Dwayne McDuffie's run on JLoA:

  • It's twenty one issues in.
  • It began with Justice League of America Wedding Special #1, in which no one got married.
  • That first issue tied into the relaunch of Green Arrow/Black Canary, and his run has subsequently been used as a tie-in depository for Salvation Run, Tangent: Superman's Reign, Suicide Squad: Raise the Flag, Final Crisis and the forthcoming Justice League: Cry for Justice, a book that won't be out until July at the earliest.
  • Pursuant to these tie-ins, seven out of twenty one issues have been written, in whole or in part, by someone else.
  • There have been sixteen pencillers and twenty three inkers so far, and at least one more of each in the next couple issues, if solicitations are to be believed.
  • Solicitations are regularly not to be believed for this run.

I point all of this out to point out that while I am a big fan of McDuffie, his showrunning on Justice League Unlimited, and the Milestone Universe he co-created and is integrating into this comic, it's a massive uphill climb to get this book into the readable column.

And this is just barely in that category. Rags Morales is the fifth artist in as many issues, and while he's not my favorite artist, he's a welcome respite from Ed Benes and his terrible clones. The sequences that deal with the remaining team coming to grips with losing so many comrades to Editorial Edict are actually pretty fun, but things fall apart when the "surprise" mastermind villain Starbreaker shows up. The issue seems to be written as if Starbreaker's return is a big reveal, but this was severely undercut by putting him on the cover of the issue. And spotlighting him for last month's "Faces of Evil" linewide event. And having him show up in February's "Origins and Omens" linewide event. Neither of those tie-ins were written by McDuffie, which adds to the feeling that DC undercut its own story here.

This is pretty OKAY, but it looks like more fill-ins and revolving door artists in the forseeable future, which dispirits me. Still, this is somehow DC's top-selling monthly title, so I suppose their theory is, "why mess with success?"

Mighty Avengers #24 by Dan Slott & Rafa Sandoval Dan Slott has stated his intention to make Mighty Avengers "the most Avengery Avengers book you can get," and sadly he's followed through on the threat. I was as big a fan as anyone of the highlights of the "old" Avengers book, but all too often the book fell back on backwards-looking globetrotting featuring The Team We Could Get.

This book has a whole lot of that, with generic international battles chock full of the same cringe-inducing pseudoscience Slott unleashed on his last Amazing Spider-Man arc. Of course Pym particles can be used for teleportation, but if you cut off the main door from the Pym Pocket to Earth then the 'doors' will slowly fade and in a couple days they'll be "stranded outside of all time and space!" And then the fart machine will have too many farts in it! I'm not saying everything has to have a Warren Ellis style infodump from an issue of New Scientist, but there's only so many hokey plot points that you can gloss over before they start to detract from the story. As an added bonus, Slott casually makes Norman Osborn's Cabal look like a bunch of chumps. Way to share the sandbox, kid! Remarkably AWFUL.

Batman Didn’t Tap: David Reviews Detective #853 and the State of DC Comics

"Well, it definitely wasn't going to be called Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? at that point. That was what some people at DC Comics started out calling it, and eventually it stuck, but the title did take me slightly by surprise." - Neil Gaiman

I had some of this review prepared before this little piece of news hit, but first I just want to address the recent Mark Waid interview posted at Ain't It Cool News, which is pretty much the balls-out closet-opening light-shining festival on the perceived insanity behind DiDio's DC that I've been waiting for, also containing a few incredibly choice (and very humorously put) words for Crossgen's Mark Alessi and former Marvel head honcho Bill Jemas. I think it's must-reading for anyone with an interest in the superhero comics industry at all, and especially for anyone who enjoys Waid's work. What's striking from it, though, is just how callously it seems the current DiDio office at DC treats its star talent - and make no mistake, Waid is star talent - when they don't fall in lockstep with their agenda. Some of the cirumstances around Waid's recent tenure at DC didn't fall into place due to the Siegel lawsuit, like reuniting Superman with the Legion of Super-Heroes, but there's no denying that Waid's account of his recent tenure, especially with Legion of Super-Heroes and Superman: Birthright, paints it as going something like this:

(Image courteously provided from my joking suggestion by the incredibly talented Adam Rosenlund)

So it's pretty interesting when DC actually pulls out a creator-driven comic that doesn't involve an almost-forgotten property (R.E.B.E.L.S. (I realize it's not completely off to the side), War That Time Forgot, Warlord). Thus, the second half of the much-reviewed, on this site and others, Neil Gaiman/Andy Kubert/Scott Williams/Alex Sinclair ostensible magnum opus "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?", named, as the starting quote indicates, largely by editorial.

So what we get here is DC somehow managing to turn even a title that's billed as being creator-driven into an editorial mandate, which was basically "hey, popular British dude, write something as timeless as that Alan Moore story about Superman so we can make it really clear that we are turning. the. fucking. page. on this era of Batman." Which isn't very creator-driven at all, and it sure as hell shows in the final product, since the only thing I can imagine producing this comic is pure, unbridled perseverence to get through this assignment. Gaiman didn't give up, and even though near the end he fairly clearly just went for broke and started asking Andy Kubert to draw crazy shit that he layered boilerplate Gaiman narration about the cyclical nature of stories over, he turned in this assignment. And that, apparently, is what he admires most about Batman.

I'm not especially versed in mixed martial arts, but even after watching a little bit you tend to notice some of the background details - like the clothing guys come out with before they get into the ring, especially the label and credo of a lot of the more religious Christian fighters - "Jesus Didn't Tap." Reading Detective Comics #853, all I could imagine in my head was Neil Gaiman, walking up to the UFC cage of wrassling ridiculously-conceived work for hire assignments, clad in a sweaty black hoodie featuring the motto "BATMAN DIDN'T TAP."

I enjoyed the supernatural detective story Gaiman was setting up in the first chapter a hell of a lot more than this denouement for a number of reasons. I realize this is going to be the third review for this thing in a row, after Brian and Graeme, but for some reason I still really want to talk about it since more than anything I’m bothered by just how unimaginably trite the resolution was - it turns out that the common thread between all of the stories of Batman's death is the fact that - surprise! - he doesn't give up! Batman does not tap out, he gets up and goes forward and solves the mystery and does his job, or he dies trying. But really, not only was this aspect of the character just illustrated in a far more interesting (if perhaps apparently less easily digestible) manner in Grant Morrison's recent Batman R.I.P., but despite his superhuman amounts of resolve, focusing on it as the character's most important driving force doesn't really make him all that different from the regular world's everyday heroes, and certainly doesn't provide anything near the sort of encapsulating vision of a character that Alan Moore's story this is so clearly based on did.

I realize that comparing this to one of the most well-constructed and popularly affecting Superman stories may seem unfair, but this is what everybody involved in this production set themselves up for with the title and placement in the character's career. And really, to be honest, there was no way this was going to work - Alan Moore's story was pitched to Julie Schwartz fairly passionately as a story he very much wanted to tell (ref. the introduction to the collected edition), while Gaiman's is, as previously stated, an offered assignment with a very specific editorial goal and some sort of grand, delusional plan that if you hire good talent and give something the right title you'll get a classic o' the medium and genre. The fact of the matter is, though, you won't.

Instead, you'll get Gaiman wrestling the concept down to the mat and not giving up, producing a 60 (I think?)-page brilliantly-drawn mystical meditation about how Batman doesn't give up and can't die and keeps coming back as a baby with a huge bellybutton after being delivered by a doctor whose hands are formed out of a Bat-Signal in space, shortly after a grown man reads "Goodnight Moon" with his mother to the gigantic underground proverbial treehouse he built underneath his mansion. It's suitably ridiculous, and on first read tugs the heartstrings and kind of reminds you of all the juxtaposition of the deadly serious and utterly ludicrous that defines Batman stories so much, but subsequent investigations just show that past "BATMAN DOESN'T TAP," there just isn't much there. So while there's something to be said for Gaiman giving this assignment his all and seeing it through, I just don't see anything remotely novel on subsequent readings and as a result I've regrettably got to give this fairly cynical cash-and-Eisner-grab an EH.

Favorites: The Diary of a Teenage Girl

PhotobucketThe Diary of a Teenage GirlPhoebe Gloeckner, writer/artist Frog, Ltd., 2002 312 pages $22.95

Heartbreak and rage: that's what I feel when I read this book. It's the story of one Minnie Goetze, a 15-year-old girl growing up in '70s San Francisco, doing so in large part by having sex with her alcoholic mother's adult boyfriend and, as time goes by, through various other increasingly drug-fueled sexual encounters. There are a couple of noteworthy tricks to the book, and I talk about them after the jump... There are a couple of tricks to The Diary of a Teenage Girl. The first is that "Minnie Goetze" is Phoebe Gloeckner. Gloeckner doesn't so much deny that the book is autobiographical as question the validity of the very notion of autobiography, but I mean, that's a photo of teenage Phoebe Gloeckner on the cover, what can I say. Does it matter, more than in just a lurid/tabloid way? I think it does a bit, in that you can then see the book not just as a novelistic chronicle of a precocious teenager's troubled adolescence but as a product of that adolescence, and of the subsequent lived experience of its author. It also goes a long way toward explaining how perfectly Gloeckner is so able to capture teenagedom's unique combination of acute self-awareness and total cluelessness, its passion for physical pleasure and mental/emotional inability to process that pleasure's ramifications: Presumably, a lot of this is lifted from an actual diary of an actual teenage girl.

The second trick is that the book is a hybrid, "An Account in Words and Pictures" as the subtitle puts it. The bulk of the book is prose, a series of entries from the titular diary. That material is the voice of 15-year-old Minnie, pure and simple. Though she frequently addresses an imaginary audience in those entries, they really have an audience of one, Minnie herself, and they're where you get her unfiltered in-the-moment understanding of what is going on in her life. Then there are doodles and full-fledged, underground-style comics created by 15-year-old Minnie (actually 15-year-old Phoebe) interspersed throughout, revealing how Minnie is processing her experiences into art, just like any artist would. (At 15 she could already draw the pants off a lot of underground cartoonists, by the way).

Next there are illustrations by the grown-up Gloeckner (we never have a sense of the presence of a grown-up "Minnie"), sometimes presented as spot illos, other times receiving a full Victorian-style page with a caption beneath it. Here is where the current, adult author inserts herself, crafting psychologically subjective images of whatever is going in the narrative. Sometimes they're just impeccably drawn portraits of the characters ("Ricky Ricky Ricky Wasserman, that exquisitely handsome boy") or doodles of the minutiae and marginalia of Minnie's life and mental environment ("the image of the dinosaur that is travelling through space right now"). Other times they're stylized for effect, highlighting the venality and ridiculousness of Minnie's situation with satirical savagery. A favorite weapon in Gloeckner's artistic arsenal is to exaggerate the size of Minnie and her teenage friends' heads in proportion to their body, or exaggerating the size and fleshiness of Monroe, Minnie's adult lover, in proportion to Minnie--emphasizing the fact that for all her intelligence and sexual experience, Minnie is a child, often with a child's way of relating to the world. (It's easy to understand the implication of her near-constant crying before and after liaisons with Monroe, or while there's just as much of a thematic connection between her sexual and pharmacological voraciousness with her sweet-tooth as there is with the alcoholism and drug use of her mother and Monroe himself.)

Finally there are the comics, which is why I'm talking about this book on this site to begin with. This, again, is adult Gloeckner expressing herself, but this time with the dispassionate yet brutally condemnatory eye of reportage--a Joe Sacco of Polk Street, right down to the formidable chops. (Gloeckner worked as a medical illustrator, which helps explain images like these--"exceptionally unsafe for work," as the site warns.) Using a couple of simple grid templates and relying on few illustrative tricks except exceptional craft, the comic sequences generally focus not on the truly disturbing moments in her life, the statutory rape and the heroin--for that, see Gloeckner's first book, the collection A Child's Life--nor on the girly teenage fun stuff that pops up in the illustrations and prose with just as much frequency as the sordid material. Rather they depict the run-of-the-mill not-right-ness of her everyday life. A mother who parties with a lawyer they've nicknamed "Michael Cocaine" in front of Minnie and her sister, though he'd never do so in front of his own kids. A married man Minnie's friend Kimmie babysits for, getting them high and driving to a hotel to have sex with them. Various men, from family friends to upperclassmen, making comments about Minnie that are just this side of uncomfortable and inappropriate. Minnie's mischievous antics around Monroe, Monroe's dismissiveness and emotional unavailability and predation toward Minnie. There's a bravura, wordless sequence where Monroe takes Minnie and Kimmie to the beach, and as we and Minnie watch, Monroe seduces her friend. Another knockout where Minnie and the girl she falls in love with, Tabatha, smoke a joint that Tabatha then tells Minnie was laced with angel dust, the neat grid of the comic giving way with a page-turn to a midnight-black splash page peppered with psychedelic non sequitur images (the dinosaur travelling through space makes a return appearance), evoking the mystery and terror of chemically blowing a mind that isn't nearly finished growing on its own.

It's not easy material, that's for sure. But it's warm and detail-driven and just so, so smart, even at its most potentially sensationalistic. And it's rich, extraordinarily so. The main storyline is devastating, no doubt--this time around reading the book, I found myself getting physically nauseated when Minnie's diary falls into the wrong hands, the same way I felt when I had a similar experience as a teenager; meanwhile my anger and disgust for Monroe and Minnie's neglectful (or outwardly abusive, depending on how charitable you feel like being) mother were almost physical as well, as was my delight in reaching the book's final illustration/caption combo (you'll enjoy it when you get there, too). But you can just as easily spend a read-through focusing on, say, the contrasting qualities of the illustrated material like I did above. Or the development of Chuck and Pascal, the two characters who genuinely appear to have Minnie's best interests at heart, and their fates as we learn whether or not that is in fact the case. Or the '70s countercultural touchstones: David Bowie, Donna Summer, Pink Floyd, EST, Rocky Horror, R. Crumb and His Cheap Suit Serenaders. Or how fearlessly Gloeckner addresses teenage sexuality and sex in general. The raw pleasure, the hunger for it...

Oh God, you know, you can really feel it when they come inside of you.

I know Monroe would miss me if I wasn't around. I know he'd think about me then because he doens't know anyone else like me. I think of him all the time.

And that hot breath...dreamy.

And when they're just as hard as rocks and they're stabbing you and you could just scream you can hardly breathe it is so 78vghjftgj46z35uzsfyubyuib78cx5742q24xr68v680b790[79[v689pc568ozx3463455yw46uc46759v689pvyuiuilv679

...and the barely suppressed disgust at the physicality of it...

The sexual nature of Kimmie Minter is a viscous cervical mucus that always welcomes mating. She was slimy and wet even though she always says she doesn't like Monroe and she says Marcus' dick is much bigger and it's too bad I didn't see it.

...and the emotional trauma it can cause when people who should know better have made it so that's all you see yourself as good for...

I hate men. I hate their sexuality unless they are gay or asexual or somehow different from the men I've known. I hate men but I fuck them hard hard hard and thoughtlessly because I hate them so much. At least when they're fucking me, they're not looking at me. At least I can close my eyes and just hate them. It's so difficult to explain.

The Diary of a Teenage Girl is, in that sense, the diary of a lot more than one teenage girl. It's the intimate mind-life of a segment of society populated by men, so very very very many men throughout the book, who sense pain and hunger like that radiating off a 15-year-old and swoop in like moths around a flame, like vultures around a carcass. And for every extraordinarily strong and brilliant and talented Minnie who manages to emerge from the swarm intact enough to recount her experiences decades later, how many don't? It's a comic from the edge of the abyss, and I love it.

PS: In case you missed the link, here's a lengthy interview I conducted with Gloeckner back in 2003. It's one of my favorite interviews I've ever done.

Bodly...final...seek out...etc

Went to an advance screening of STAR TREK last night.

The situation was odd -- originally the screening was at the Metreon on Wednesday night. Then, suddenly, on Wednesday afternoon, around 3pm or so a messenger showed up with a note that the Wed screening was canceled, and it would instead be held at the AMC 1000 on Thursday instead. Weird.

What I don't know is what happened to people who showed up at the Metreon -- did they just get told to piss off, were they offered thickets to this show? What happened?

Well, they certainly didn't make it to the Thursday showing. The place was EMPTY. Maybe a quarter full, at best. I have never EVER been to an advance screening that was as empty as this one. Even the press seats were mostly empty.

(That's not as interesting as what happened in Austin, however)

So how was it?

Yeah, it was pretty enjoyable. The casting was keen, the writing was crisp, and I laughed and cheered and enjoyed the fan service. In terms of rebooting the franchise, it is a grand slam.

But it really isn't that good of a movie.

Let's get back to that, however.

[There will probably be SPOILERS after this point, so let's hide the rest after the jump]

If you think TREK is "about" the Kirk/Spock relationship, this is a super incredible affirmation of that. Chris Pine as Kirk doesn't ape any of Shatner's mannerisms, but he nails the core of the character nonetheless. Zachary Quinto's Spock clearly studied Nimoy closely, and he, too, nails it. They're both great, and the development of the relationship is the heart of this movie.

The rest of the cast is pretty great too -- the only two I didn't really feel were Chekhov and Sulu, but those two had very little to do, anyway. Uhuru, on the other hand, is probably a more significant character in the film than McCoy even, which is slightly strange I guess, but there you go.

There's an interesting choice to make this a hard reboot, but to explicitly make it a Parallel Universe. That's kind of ballsy, really, and while it both makes organic science-fiction sense AND allows them to change up any damn thing they like without offending "continuity", I can't think of something like that ever being done anywhere outside of comics. Will the "general public" be able to follow (or care about) any of that?

Particularly with the success of the hard reboot of the Bond Franchise, I'm not so clear exactly why they felt that they had to EXPLAIN the reboot. I think that most real trekkers are probably more interested in seeing more Trek than would be freaking out between differences between TOS and nuTrek. I mean, I don't like the new Phasers or Bridge all that much, but so what? Obviously they're going to update those kinds of things, whether I like it or not!

The thing is, other than giving you (effectively) STAR TREK: YEAR ZERO, the reboot IS the plot -- the creation of the parallel IS the "story". And therein lies the problem.

The villain, Nero, is utterly forgettable. And terrifically two-dimensional. Further, in the context of the story, his very existence in the story means he already accomplished his own goal -- because nuSpock is NOT Spock. The film makes a point of double underlining that with his relationship. nuSpock almost certainly isn't going to become "our" Spock, because things are unfolding differently in this parallel. Which means he's unlikely to do what he did. Further to that, "our" Spock done fucked up, which was not heroic, and there wasn't even the thought of an ATTEMPT to try and fix what they created. Meh on that.

There's also a bunch of unnecessary action sequences. One thinks they're trying to show "Look, we have a budget for once!", but I could have done without the flashbacks in Spock's vision, or the monster chase scene on the ice planet, or probably even half the combat on and with Nero's ship. They're not particularly exciting sequences, and they don't add anything.

So, walking out of the theater, I was like "YAY! Hm, that was OK" -- I'm ready to see the sequel RIGHT NOW, because now that all of the exposition is over, they've got a GREAT cast, and reasonable design, and maybe they can make a really really good STAR TREK movie next time.

I'd say this: TREK, to me, should properly be about US. In showing the rocky start of nuKirk and nuSpock, they got really close to that -- but the Science Fiction part of the story really needs to support and underline that mirror. That's not what we have here, so while this is a GOOD film using characters set in Gene Roddenberry's creation, it really isn't a STAR TREK film.

Once you see it, I'd love to know what YOU think...

-B

 

Whatever Happened To Good Send-Offs To The Caped Crusader?

And this is where Brian and I go our different ways, because I thought that DETECTIVE COMICS #853 was really, really appallingly bad. As in, I read it and almost thought that I had accidentally been reading some misprinted copy and that somewhere out there, there was a "real" version of the issue that had, you know, a story and a point and anything other than an overwhelming smugness and sense of incredible deja vu.

At first, I put down my sense of disappointment to the fact that the issue was late and that that had, somehow, raised my expectations of it to an unrealistic level, but a second read made me realize that, no, it was just plain bad. I'm not sure where to start with where I thought it went wrong, but I can tell you that the part where we spend five pages of Bruce saying "Goodnight, [name of familiar Batman element" over and over again before the Batsignal turns awkwardly into a pair of hands delivering a baby who - gasp - just happens to be Bruce Wayne was the point where I felt as if Neil Gaiman wasn't just even phoning it in, but giving to his assistant to phone in over a bad cellphone connection. Everything about the writing in this issue seemed lazy, even the obvious desperation to "say something" about Batman as myth rather than just character; all of the characters showing up to say their bit about "their" Batman seemed strained and unsubtle, and almost everything Batman himself said felt as if he'd been replaced by Expositionman ("I'm having a near-death experience, aren't I, ghost of my mother? Do you get that, fanboys? And here's where I explain that I am more important as a myth and urban legend than anything else. Look. I'll do it in captions over splash pages so that you know it's important."). Gaiman may have a great fondness for Batman, but he doesn't seem to have any special insight into the character; everything that he tells us here we've read many, many times before, and in a way that feels less like something rushed out in an afternoon to meet a deadline.

And talking of deadlines... There's something weird about Andy Kubert's art here; there's a slickness and generic quality that it usually lacks, enough to make me wonder if other people helped out to make sure this book wasn't more than two months late. His Batman - the "real" Batman, I mean, not the various ones in flashback/anecdotes earlier in the issue - in particular feels like it's come from a different artist depending on what panels you're looking at in the issue, and I don't think that's because he's trying to ape different artists' styles during the same scene. It's just weirdly inconsistent.

In a weird way, I'm glad that Brian liked it so much, because that makes me feel less guilty about saying that - for me - it was surprisingly Awful. At least there's some audience out there who it worked for, and it's not like Bri doesn't have better taste than me in most things...

Potpourri

I haven't done one of these for a while, so let's kick it OLD SCHOOL CRITIC style, with a quick look at ten titles out this week...

ASTONISHING X-MEN #29: I find Bianchi's art to have some beautiful, ethereal qualities, and I enjoy looking at it. On the other hand, I don't think he's much of a storyteller, and in reading the comic, I find that I'm just racing from balloon to balloon, letting that tell the story rather than the art. Overall, I'm digging the story, but the delays between issues are just killing the momentum. We're down by just over 50% from the first issue of the arc (and the 16 pages for $4 of GHOST BOXES didn't help matters one bit). This is certainly high concept stuff, and reasonably smart, but it doesn't really feel like it is happening to "our" X-Men. Overall, though: GOOD.

BATMAN BATTLE FOR THE COWL ARKHAM #1: The plus here is that THREE new characters are introduced, which is what you'd hope that nearly any comic would give you. The downside is that it really isn't that interesting. Lots of blah blah blah and lots of covering things that have been in other comics already. I'm more favorably inclined towards this book simply because of the new characters, even if none of them really feel like proper Bat-villains, but everything about "Battle For The Cowl" seems like such a cash grab to me. EH.

DETECTIVE COMICS #853: A gajillion years late, but y'know what?, I liked it anyway. This is a good capper to Bruce Wayne as Batman...though he'll be back sooner or later, and maybe that's the point. Though I can't imagine much of the audience for this wanting to move on to "Battle for the Cowl #1" as the "next issue" box suggests. That's pretty discordant. Also: I never would have guessed, in a million years, that that guy in the Bar towards the end was meant to be Joe Chill, if the backmatter hadn't spelled it out... Anyway: VERY GOOD.

FANTASTIC FORCE #1: Christ, that fucking sucked. Here's your entire argument against throwing shit at the wall to see if it sticks... now you have shit covered walls! Clearly someone at Marvel realized either how shitty this was (or the numbers can in REALLY low) because this was solicited as an ongoing monthly book, and it is suddenly a 5 issue mini-series. That's going to be four issues too many. Boring characters, set in the stupid nu-earth idea from Millar's run. I can only hope that this puts a stake in the idea that the FF can support spin-off titles. It can't. Fuck, I think this was even worse than the 1994 version of the title. And that was really awful. If Marvel keeps up production of shit like this that there isn't any audience for, things are going to start looking like the late 90s again there... I think I ordered five times the number of copies as I'll actually need... and I ordered less than 10 copies. CRAP.

HULK #11: Big bat-shit crazy is fine, but for $4? Ugh, can't do it. Neither can my customers, it seems, as HULK sales have dropped by more than half since the price increase. So, naturally, they're going to go "back to" the "old" numbering on INCREDIBLE HULK, yet again, with the July issue coming in as #600. *sigh* This is solidly OK, but needs to be a lot better for $4...

IGNITION CITY #2: Ellis writes so many books that it is really hard keeping track of what is what and which is which. Hell, he had four new releases this week alone. This one is the real deal, though -- I like world setting, I think the underlying ideas are terrifically strong, and, while I don't LIKE the characters (who does in a Warren Ellis comic?), I found them all compelling. No, this is no PLANETARY, but it's damn damn close. (I didn't like the lettering, however) Pick this puppy up! VERY GOOD.

KICK ASS #6: I think Millar lost the thread here. Yes "ha ha" to the idea of the Punisher as an 11 year old girl, but this seems pointlessly digressive in a series that is wicked late already. Hey, but it already has a movie deal, so it must be good! Meh. There's a good line or two in here, and the heel turn at the end works adequately, but I can't even imagine ANYone wanting to see this as a movie. Good for Millar and all, but I'm calling it extremely EH.

SKRULL KILL KREW #1: Speaking of things from the mid-90s that Marvel really really shouldn't be going back to again, I present Exhibit B. Now all we need is a new NIGHT THRASHER monthly. Not QUITE as bad as FANTASTIC FORCE, but only by inches. There's no audience for this, especially at $4, and it repeats the mistake of the original by having unlikeable protagonists acting through a single, uninteresting note. Completely AWFUL.

THOR #601: Also in the $4 club, yet I find this pretty appealing. JMS really has infused a lot of new life into THOR, a character (and milieu, in Asgard) that I've NEVER found appealing. I'm now actually reasonably eager to check into this book each month (well, kinda each month). If I have a complaint, it is that there might be TOO much going on -- the subplot with the diner guy and whoever that chick is slowed things down a bit for me. But, at the end of the day, if you're going to charge $4 for a funny book, this is the level of density that I'm going to want. A sold GOOD.

X-FORCE #14: I think the art in this is nearly unreadable: too dark, too gory, and pretty bad at panel-to-panel storytelling (just what IS happening towards the end of the issue in the fight scenes?); I also just think "Ugh" with anything ever involving Stryfe or Apocalypse or any of that (again!) mid-to-late 90s bullshit... and yet... and yet... and yet I'm pretty much enjoying this storyline. I must be slipping. Solidly OK.

In terms of what I personally bought this week, I had more things this week than I have had in the rest of the month combined. I took home: BPRD TP VOL 10 THE WARNING, KODT BUNDLE OF TROUBLE TP VOL 24, and QUESTION TP VOL 04 WELCOME TO OZ. OK, that last one is sort of a mercy fuck because the series had lost its way by the time we get to these issues, but I like having the spines on my bookshelf.

As always: What did YOU think?

-B