Arriving 12/12/2007

Is it just me, or does this seem kinda light-ish for 2-weeks-before-Christmas? 2000 AD #1563 2000 AD #1564 A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #71 (A) AFTER THE CAPE II #2 (OF 3) AMAZING SPIDER-GIRL #15 ANGEL AFTER THE FALL #1 2ND PTG (PP #790) ANGELUS PILOT SEASON #1 ANT UNLEASHED #1 ASTOUNDING WOLF-MAN #4 BAT LASH #1 (OF 6) BATMAN STRIKES #40 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA ORIGINS #1 BLACK ADAM THE DARK AGE #5 (OF 6) BOOSTER GOLD #5 BORDERLAND ONE SHOT BOYS #13 BPRD KILLING GROUND #5 (OF 5) CAPTAIN CARROT AND THE FINAL ARK #3 (OF 3) CARTOON NETWORK ACTION PACK #20 CORY DOCTOROWS FUTURISTIC TALES HERE AND NOW #3 (OF 6) COUNTDOWN ARENA #2 (OF 4) COUNTDOWN SEARCH FOR RAY PALMER RED SON #1 COUNTDOWN SPECIAL THE ATOM 80 PAGE GIANT #1 (OF 2) COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS 20 CRAWL SPACE XXXOMBIES #2 DARKNESS CVR B KEOWN #1 DEVI #15 DMZ #26 ELEPHANTMEN WAR TOYS #1 (OF 3) ENGINEER #1 (OF 4) FABLES #68 FALLEN ANGEL IDW #22 FANTASTIC FOUR #552 GARGOYLES #7 GEN 13 #15 GHOST RIDER #18 GREEN ARROW BLACK CANARY #3 GREEN LANTERN #25 (NOTE PRICE) GREEN LANTERN CORPS #19 GRIMM FAIRY TALES #19 HATE ANNUAL #7 HIGHLANDER WAY O/T SWORD #1 HYBRID BASTARDS #1 (OF 3) IRON MAN POWER PACK #2 (OF 4) JLA CLASSIFIED #48 JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #265 JUGHEAD #186 KILLING GIRL #5 (OF 5) LIVING WITH THE DEAD #3 (OF 3) LOVELESS #21 MAD CLASSICS #20 MAD MAGAZINE #485 MARVEL ADVENTURES HULK #6 MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #4 MISERICORDIA #1 (OF 11) NEGATIVE BURN #15 NEOZOIC #2 NEW AVENGERS #37 NEW WARRIORS #6 NEXUS ORIGIN ONE SHOT NIGHTWING #139 (GHUL) NOVA #9 PIRATES OF CONEY ISLAND #6 (OF 8) POISON ELVES #80 (RES) POTTERS FIELD #3 (OF 3) PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #14 SALVATION RUN #2 (OF 7) SCALPED #12 SIMON DARK #3 SPAWN #173 SPIDER-MAN FAMILY #6 SPIDER-MAN RED SONJA #5 (OF 5) STORMWATCH ARMAGEDDON #1 STREETS OF GLORY #3 (OF 6) SUICIDE SQUAD RAISE THE FLAG #4 (OF 8) SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL #10 TALES OF THE SINESTRO CORPS ION #1 TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #47 THIRTEEN STEPS #3 ULTIMATE IRON MAN II #1 (OF 4) UN-MEN #5 WALKING DEAD #45 WARHAMMER 40K BLOOD & THUNDER CVR A #2 (OF 5) WOLVERINE #60 WONDER GIRL #4 (OF 6) WONDER WOMAN #15 WORMWOOD ONE SHOT X-FACTOR #25 2ND PTG VAR X-FACTOR #26 MC X-MEN DIE BY THE SWORD #5 (OF 5)

Books / Mags / Stuff APPLESEED ID TP ASTRONAUT DAD VOL 1 GN BLAKE & MORTIMER THE MYSTERY O/T GREAT PYRAMID VOL 1 GN CASTAWAYS SC CHRONICLES OF WORMWOOD LAST ENEMY GN CLASSICS ILLUSTRATED THREE MUSKETEERS COMMON FOE TP (RES) CRIMINAL VOL 2 LAWLESS TPB ESSENTIAL DR STRANGE TP VOL 03 FORTEAN TIMES #230 GEEK MONTHLY #12 HELLBOY ANIMATED MAGNET LOBSTER JOHNSON IRREDEEMABLE ANT-MAN TP VOL 02 SMALL MINDED DIGEST JUXTAPOZ JAN 2008 VOL 15 #1 KABUKI BLOODSPATTERED SCARAB PX AF KUROSAGI CORPSE DELIVERY SERVICE VOL 5 TP LEES TOY REVIEW DEC 2007 #182 LOST OFFICIAL MAGAZINE #14 PX ED MARVEL ADVENT FANTASTIC FOUR TP VOL 07 SILVER SURFER DIGEST MIDARA GN NEW PTG (A) NARUTO VOL 25 TP NARUTO VOL 26 TP NARUTO VOL 27 TP NEW X-MEN TP VOL 05 CHILDHOODS END NOVA TP VOL 01 ANNIHILATION CONQUEST NYC MECH TP VOL 02 BETA LOVE PAPYRUS THE REVENGE OF THE RAMSES GN RED SONJA VOL 3 RISE OF GATH HC RED SONJA VOL 3 RISE OF GATH TP REGULATOR COLLECTION SC ROBOT GN VOL 04 SERENITY INARA STRIKES STATUE SHOWCASE PRESENTS JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA TP VOL 03 SPIKE SHADOW PUPPETS TP STARCHILD MYTHOPOLIS II VOL 1 GN TOYFARE IRON MAN MOVIE CVR #126 ULTIMATES 2 HC WELCOME TO TRANQUILITY VOL 1 TP WONDER WOMAN AMAZONS ATTACK HC ZOMBIES GN

What looks good to YOU?

-B

All that we see or seem: Douglas reads two not-a-comics from 12/5

I've generally been enjoying Following Cerebus a lot, and I say this as somebody who was a hardcore Cerebite all the way up to the end of the series but drew the line at "Collected Letters 2." (I scan Sim's blog every once in a while to see if he's talking about comics, and scroll dejectedly past the rest.) Some issues have been fantastic, especially #5, which was mostly about the role of editors in comics; others have been dodgier, but I'm very glad that a magazine exists that will print 100 pages of Dave Sim interviewing Neal Adams, you know? Following Cerebus #11 is very, very late--I think it's been about a year since the last one--which is pretty depressing given that Sim and Gerhard never missed a monthly deadline for their final 200 issues, and when they did blow a few ship dates--somewhere in the middle of Church & State--they went just about biweekly until they caught up. This issue's on the theme of "dreams," at least at first: there's a spectacular wraparound cover by Sim and Gerhard (apparently their final cover collaboration) of Cerebus asleep and having a nightmare, an interview with Rick Veitch on the subject of dreams and comics (I hadn't previously heard of this amazingly weird and wonderful-looking Simon/Kirby series, although I found out yesterday that Jesse Reklaw had), and a page of filler text on the subject of why most of the issue isn't quite about dreams and Cerebus.

Then things get peculiar. There's a not-especially-funny satirical piece that purports to be a dialogue with Sim about Collected Letters 2, but isn't (it doesn't seem to have any actual Sim involvement), and never makes it past the cover. (Well, we're in the same boat there.) There's an eight-page essay by Sim about the way Barry Windsor-Smith's Opus interfaces with his particular world-view, prompted by a line in the introduction to a reprint of BWS's "Cerebus Dreams" last issue, followed by a seven-page dialogue between editor Craig Miller and Sim about that essay. There are five commissioned drawings by Sim from 2006 (one of them pretty funny), from which we learn that he's having to learn how to draw bricks all by himself again. There's a letter the late Drew Hayes wrote to Sim in 1990; there's a letter from a mathematician, sighing gently at the Adams interview, followed by a photo of Sarah Michelle Gellar. This isn't even Following Cerebus, it's Following Following Cerebus, a magazine disappearing into meta-analysis of itself.

And... it's Eh for the money at best. Still, I'd happily pay twice as much for a 40-page collection of Sim's recent commissions--or, for that matter, Gerhard's recent commissions. Brian Coppola has been commissioning Gerhard to do a series called "The World Without Cerebus"--moments from or suggested by the series that don't have any characters in them--and they're predictably gorgeous. (I found out about it via Todd Hignite's post here.) Coppola's also got an online "museum" of his original art and commissions; among other things, he commissioned a Sim/Gerhard "recreation" of two pages from Cerebus #29, and it's fascinating to see that Sim didn't just redraw that scene, he partially rewrote it.

Also in the not-comics department: Alphabets of Desire, the Alan Moore text lettered by Todd Klein that Klein's been selling via his blog as a signed limited-edition print. It's apparently sold out already (there'll be a second printing next year), and its themes and namedrops won't be new to those who've been paying attention to Moore over the last decade or so: the Tree of Life, John Dee, Austin Spare. (Spare, in fact, is the guy who popularized the idea of the alphabet of desire, a form of sigil magic.) Moore's view of language is rather Whorfian, and pretty questionable at best when he starts talking about how "if we do not wrap it in the word, a concept is beyond our apprehension." (Let's not get into his description of DNA.) It's a lovely piece of writing, though, and an Excellent object (that will probably end up on my office wall)--Klein's lettering is so closely bound up with Moore's latter-day writing in my mind that they seem to naturally go together, and I'm the kind of image-language-text-sensation geek who's happy to have this serve as my version of "Footprints."

Glutton for Punishment Part II: Jeff Wraps Up His Look At the 12/06 Books.

Oy, I'm such a dink. Not only did I screw up the arrival dates of the books (it's 12/05, not 12/06) but I totally forgot to open my previous post with sincere thanks to everyone who took the time to vote on what I should do for the site this month. I really appreciated janesmith3's vote since it looked like an ASCII cylon raider, but, honestly, I'm grateful to everyone who took the time to give me feedback, both there and just below. Anyhoo, Part 2:

NIGHTMARES & FAIRY TALES #21: One of the things I regret about splitting when I did is never writing about the high weirdness that was volume 1 of "Make 5 Wishes," the deeply odd Avril Lavigne comic from Del Rey by artist Camilla D'Errico and writer Joshua Dysart: it's this book in which a lonely girl ends up with a demon that can grant wishes and the only one who can help her figure things out is her imaginary friend Avril Lavigne. It was one of those books you kinda can't believe you're reading while you're reading it and, while still not in the same league as, say, Fletcher And Zenobia Save The Circus, something so distinct you give it a pass on all of its shortcomings.

I'm tempted to do the same with Nightmares & Fairy Tales #21, since writer Serena Valentino and artist D'Errico are trying something similarly odd (Valentino describes it as a mix of Carnivale, Deadwood and H.P. Lovecraft) in this story of a traveling freak show, the heartless bastard who runs it, and a captive mermaid. Unfortunately, D'Errico's delicately sketched linework doesn't have the same impact without the lovely color work of Make 5 Wishes, and Valentino's script is relatively hackneyed; only the suggestion that the innocent-seeming mermaid might be even more inhuman and terrible than the main character gave me any inclination to pick up the next issue. I gotta go with EH, as much as I'd prefer otherwise, but I hope these creators continue to develop their chops here and elsewhere.

NORTHLANDERS #1: I'm really frustrated with myself on this book--while I really like a lot of the ideas Wood's playing with here (a story that takes echoes of Hamlet and turns them into almost a Norse version of Point Blank, a narration that subtly uses anachronisms to give the protagonist's concerns and thoughts an immediacy), I didn't actually enjoy any of it. Colorist Dave McCaig seems like he's working overtime in every panel to work some depth into Davide Gianfelice's art but it's not quite enough: the book didn't look spare as much as it did not-quite-finished. I'm gonna call it OK and let's see where it goes.

OMEGA THE UNKNOWN #3: Lethem continues to nudge this book toward its own concerns and between him, Dalrymple on art (and--Jeezis!--Paul Hornschemeier doing the coloring!), there's no denying there's a ton of talent tackling this book, but I'm still a little underwhelmed. One of the things that made the original Omega such a strange book was the clash between Gerber & Skrenes' unorthodox scripts and Jim Mooney's traditional art. And while Mooney,like John Buscema, liked working on non-traditional material, his work had enough associations and influences from his superhero work it made the material even more striking. Whereas here, Lethem and Dalrymple (and--Jeezis!--Hornschemeier!) alll seem too much in the same vein: it's a little too glib, too easy, and too superficial. What I'm trying to say is, maybe a book called Omega The Unknown would benefit from a little more not-knowingness, you know? I'm still on board, but the meter keeps moving toward EH, bit by bit.

SILVER SURFER IN THY NAME #2: Simon Spurrier obviously took the time to put himself through Silver Surfer 101. So even though I disagree with The Silver Surfer suddenly being able to astrally project himself (don't even get me started on how it messes with previous contuity, let's just agree the last thing The Silver Surfer needs is yet another vaguely defined power and move on), I'm not even gonna bother. Similarly, although Tan Eng Huat (and ace colorist Jose Villarrubia) aren't really anywhere close to following the moves from the Kirby/Buscema playbook, they're working their butts off. But even taking all that off the table, the book feels really cramped to me, making me think the Surfer is one of those larger-than-life characters who needs less panels per page than the relatively steady six-per-page we get here. I'm bummed I gotta go with EH here as well.

SUBURBAN GLAMOUR #2: It's great to get a big eyeful of Jamie McKelvie's work in color, and the story is blessedly direct. I'd be lying if I didn't admit I have quibblage--for an artist working from his own script, McKelvie occasionally stages things a bit more awkwardly than you'd expect, and there's one sequence that exists for no other reason than to eat up a bit of space--and yet I found it to be GOOD fun, overall. More, please.

SUPERGIRL #24: My first read garnered me an enormous "Huh?" In part, this was while the good people at Supergirl were kind enough to have a story-based recap page, the next few pages were so disorienting I wasn't sure if the recap had stopped. The second read made quite a bit more sense, however, and I guess it makes a case for why Supergirl's discontent that's a lot less gross than what we've seen previously. But unless the first issue (which I didn't read) is a lot more action packed than the first, all the wordless pages makes me wonder if this wasn't a single issue story expanded into two. On its own, I'd generously give it an EH (if I hadn't felt so rusty with this reviewing thing, I doubt I would've given this issue a second read-through and just dismissed it out of hand), but if the first issue is especially kick-ass or sets a tone that makes this pacing more valid, I guess you could bump it up to an OK, if you wanted.

THE SWORD #3: Didn't read the first two issues and maybe that's for the best because this issue moved like a MOTHERfucker, escalating things steadily so the final splash page simultaneously lets you catch your breath and tries to kick you one last time in the gut. I liked Ultra, and thought Girls was a huge ol' mess, but if these guys can keep their control of the material as strong as it is here, The Sword might just knock it out of the park. Very Good stuff, I thought.

ULTIMATE X-MEN #88: Haven't read an issue of this book since Millar left, so I'm coming into this very, very cold and, again, am impressed with the recap page. It wasn't a work of genius or anything but it did give me an idea of the bigger picture. This wasn't a terrible issue, I gotta admit--in fact, as a guy with a thing for girls with glasses, I'll go one step further and admit that last panel of Ultimate Emma Frost made me glad I picked it up--but Ultimate X-Men has clearly become the X-Men equivalent of Beatlemania, where all the greatest hits get trotted out one after the other, or even run together in a medley as needs dictate. For example, this issue alone has Ultimate Cable, Ultimate Bishop, Ultimate Emma Frost, Ultimate Psylocke, the return of Ultimate Beast, Ultimate Phoenix, a round of Ultimate softball out at Ultimate Xavier's Mansion, Ultimate Hellfire Club and a last panel of, I'll assume, Ultimate Apocalypse (though it'd be awesome if it were Penultimate Apocalypse or something). Oh sure, Ultimate Colossus is gay and Ultimate Cable is apparently Ultimate Wolverine from the future or something, but that doesn't seem to matter as much as you'd think. Ultimate Paul is playing and singing Paul's parts, and Ultimate Ringo is playing the drums just like Ringo. In this age of trade paperbacks and CD-Roms and experimental direct comics subscriptions and bit torrent and back issues--to say nothing of how many fuckin' X-Men books are still on the market--does anyone really need this apart from the company and creative teams' bank accounts? Ultimate Emma Frost in white corset and sexy black glasses aside, I'd say no. Sub-EH.

UNCANNY X-MEN #493: See? The regular X-Men books are doing perfectly fine all by themselves at taking all the old greatest hits and mixing 'em up. As for this issue, I read it and, as you would expect from starting a crossover at Part 6, I don't really have the necessary investment as a reader for anything in this issue to have much of an impact. I liked that we got to see someone in striped pajama pants fight the Sentinels, I guess. It all seemed coherent enough even if I didn't care, however, and that's a good sign. I don't know. Issues like this make me wish Paul O'Brien had Google Ads or something set up over at The X-Axis because reading books like this make me realize what an invaluable service he performs each and every week, and he should get paid for it. Because while I feel confident saying this was an OK issue, Paul can really tell you and, to the extent your opinions mesh with his, you can bank on it. That's a valuable god-damn service.

WORLD WAR HULK AFTERSMASH: No offense to the current creative team, but if Marvel put Greg Pak on Iron Man, I think they might be doing themselves a favor: apart from the shout-out to that insane issue of Marvel Team-Up where Hercules tows Manhattan back into place, the only thing in this weak sauce that really impressed me was how well Pak handled the (presently) complex character of Tony Stark/Iron Man. However, between the above-mentioned weak sauce and the price tag of $3.99 for a book that includes six pages of promo material Marvel couldn't even be bothered to color, I gotta go with Awful. I'll assume the rest of the event wasn't this lame.

X-MEN DIE BY THE SWORD #4: I can't really give a decent review of this book since I didn't read the previous three issues, but since Chris Claremont didn't give it a decent script, I'm okay with that.

...

I kid, I kid. If you're still reading Claremont at this point, you know what you're getting (a morass of characters and plots, quips and aphorisms so hoary they're probably on a motivational poster somewhere) and you obviously either want it or feel compelled to support it. I can dig it. It's a shame that a previously unsinkable franchise like The Exiles is getting rebooted as a result of all this, though, and that Claremont--like some fanboy Captain Ahab--is obsessed with being able to finally write The Fury (or the The Fury Prime, or whatever it's called) but those are my hang-ups. But I think some messy storytelling flubs (the weirdness with Longshot's knife and invisible Merlyn, the lack of a splash page at the end when the Fury emerges so Captain Britain has to tell you what the hell is happening) would bump this down a few notches even for you, right? So I'll go with Awful and you can go with _____, and we'll both go with God, okay?

ZOMBIES VS ROBOTS VS AMAZONS #1: Well, it's dumb. And expensive. But really, really pretty. And here's only one robot (so far). I'd go with AWFUL even though, again, it's really, really pretty. Keep in mind I'm so far afield of Ashley Wood's target audience--pot dealers who like to leave comic books out on the kitchen table so their customers have something to read, I'm thinking--I should not be considered fair counsel.

PICK OF THE WEEK: My memory's a little hazy. I think it's LOBSTER JOHNSON IRON PROMETHEUS #4 and/or THE SWORD #3.

PICK OF THE--ULTIMATES 3 #1!--OF THE WEAK: Sorry, couldn't wait.

NEXT WEEK: Maybe not as many books!

Oh, and make sure you don't miss Diana's post about webcomics below, okay? I'm hoping it's just the first article of several giving noobs like me the lay of the land.

Diana Goes Digital #0: Secret Origins

With Jog doing his bit for manga, I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to add even more diversity to our humble site by introducing a new regular feature: webcomic reviews! I'll be focusing on free series, starting with webcomics that have run their course and concluded - like graphic novels, they represent a complete, self-contained reading experience. After that we'll move on to ongoing series, alternating between some old favorites of mine and webcomics I've recently discovered. But before we get to the good stuff, I thought I'd start this prestigious #0 issue (now with exclusive Brian Hibbs triple-fold hologram variant cover - scratch it and it procreates!) with a discussion about webcomics as a whole: why they matter to me, why I get such a kick out of them, and what they have to offer those mainstream readers who may have gotten a bit tired of the current output.

I first discovered webcomics a few years ago, via my dear friend Jacob (who, some months later, put up his own short-lived but brilliant webcomic called NAUSEA, now sadly offline). I'd come back to comics after a long hiatus, and we were discussing genre: even then, when I was still very enthusiastic about the mainstream, I had to admit that the superheroes wore a bit thin at times. It was always such a treat to discover something like Kyle Baker's WHY I HATE SATURN or Judd Winick's ADVENTURES OF BARRY WEEN, proving that the medium could be used for more than just fights-in-tights.

At some point in the conversation, I brought up WHY I HATE SATURN and asked why we couldn't have something like that on a regular basis: no grandiose cosmic spectacles, no superpowers, no suspension of disbelief necessary - just ordinary people hashing out their ordinary lives, with all the drama and fun and sadness and joy that comes with it. Jacob directed me to R.K. Milholland's SOMETHING POSITIVE. I was hesitant at first, for the same reason I'm picky with fan fiction - in a domain without any real quality control, you're taking a leap of faith that the next story you read won't be a reincarnation of THE EYE OF ARGON. Also, there's so many of them, owing to the fact that just about anyone can write and upload their creations online - who has the energy to sort through ten thousand wank fantasies for the good stuff? SOMETHING POSITIVE was, at the time, nearing the end of its fourth year: there was a lot of reading to be done. Jacob assured me it'd be worth the effort.

And damn him, he was right.

Looking back, I can identify several factors that made SOMETHING POSITIVE such a perfect gateway into webcomics for me. First, Milholland's tone resonated with the irreverent atmosphere of the Jemas administration, but with Marvel I always had the feeling that they were holding back: it was okay to make fun of the '90s, but I R SIRIUS KOMIC NAO. Milholland rarely, if ever, restrains himself, and when he goes for shock or provocation, he always seems motivated more by self-amusement than by the desire to target a specific demographic (see: Fred MacIntire versus the Idiot Christians). It somehow felt more authentic, a more direct channeling of the author's voice than anything you'd find in the mainstream. We've all seen good stories (or, at least, good intentions) gone off the rails due to editorial interference and licensing concerns (just look at the current state of Spider-Man, or ask yourself why, as Graeme noted, the "magic reboot" gets used so often lately), and that's something Milholland never really has to deal with. When you're dependent on your readers, you have to keep them happy, and if that had been the case with S*P, this probably wouldn't have happened. Nor this, for that matter. It's a kind of creative freedom you just don't see with the big companies.

Another aspect of SOMETHING POSITIVE that intrigued me was... well, precisely that "alternative genre" I'd been looking for. Here was a dark comedy bordering on satire, with a bunch of friends - abnormal in normal ways, if that makes sense - getting together to bitch about things that annoyed them. Not something you'd easily locate at my LCS, that's for sure. And that was just the tip of the iceberg: I've read sci-fi webcomics, gaming parody webcomics, fantasy webcomics, action webcomics... I never felt boxed in as I do with the direct market, where only a very specific type of story can survive for any significant amount of time (see: every unfortunate cancellation in the history of comics from DEADENDERS to SENTINEL to SMALL GODS). In fact, based on what I've seen, I'd guess that the superhero genre is actually among the least popular in the medium: if it does pop up, it's usually some tongue-in-cheek take on the subject matter (ie: Brad Guigar's EVIL INC.) or downright subversive (Justin Pierce's THE NEW ADVENTURES OF WONDERELLA). I believe that, like fanfic, webcomics partially exist to address a lack - the extremely narrow focus on superheroes by established companies left pretty much every other field up for grabs, just as fanfic seems predominantly occupied with taking the story to places the canon can't (or won't) go.

Now, I'll admit this isn't a flawless medium - the downside to having no higher authority is that writers can (and often do) simply abandon their stories mid-way through, having simply tired of the effort. It happens more frequently than you'd think - Sean Howard's A MODEST DESTINY stopped so many times, and ended so poorly, that I'm sorry I ever read past the first book. The closest analogy would be something like the Grant Morrison/Gene Ha AUTHORITY run, aborted mid-story with little hope of resolution. Another downside is the lack of permanence - just because a work is available one day doesn't mean it'll be available the next. After discovering K. Sandra Fuhr, I was quite interested in her earlier works, UTOPIA and THIS IS HOME... except she'd deleted them. That's a whole block of an author's bibliography that you'll never find in a bargain bin.

The issue of price (or lack thereof) can also be a bit of a sticking point in webcomics. The argument tends to go thusly: on the one hand, most webcomics are free, which means you can start, stop and resume whenever you like, with absolutely no limitations. You get what may be an incredible tale at no cost at all. On the other hand, if things go sour, and you don't like where the story's going, the counter is that since you're not paying for it anyway, you don't really have the "right" to make demands. It's an iffy debate that I'm not getting into now - hell, I've always thought that even paying customers don't complain enough (though when they do, it's bloody brilliant), but it does raise the question of how you'd rate the importance of an editor: Tom Brevoort didn't do much to make AVENGERS DISASSEMBLED readable, but leaving all the creative decisions in the hands of the writer can lead to some unfortunate storytelling decisions - FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE being the most egregarious example, though DOMINIC DEEGAN: ORACLE FOR HIRE has made a few wrong turns as well.

Getting back to the whole price thing: the reason free webcomics are so important, especially these days with the digital piracy issue on the table, is because you have a ready-made alternative to amorphous, institutionalized popularity contests (Zuda) and clunky, uncomfortable efforts to lure you into paying anyway (Marvel's online initiative). And for those who prefer paper comics just because they like the feel, or because they're attached to those familiar icons such as Batman and Spider-Man, ask yourself this: how much are you willing to spend, and for how long, on comics that are decidedly inferior to, say, Rich Burlew's THE ORDER OF THE STICK or Shaenon Garrity's NARBONIC? I understand the attachment - hell, I'm still reading print comics, aren't I? - but at the same time, I could drop Marvel, DC and the rest of them tonight without feeling a very great loss. I haven't done so mainly because there's a handful of writers out there who still interest me, but if they were out of the picture? I would be too.

It's been almost three years since I discovered SOMETHING POSITIVE. I'm still reading it, along with nearly twenty other webcomics from a wide array of genres. I've stumbled onto completed webcomics that ran on a daily basis for five to seven years, huge and sprawling series I could read at my leisure, years compressed to days or weeks. I've read EXCELLENT stories.

And I'll be sharing them with you.

Glutton For Punishment: Jeff Takes on the 12/06 Books (Part 1, Maybe).

This is both caveat and invitation. Six months ago, I stopped working behind the counter at CE and reading the week's releases as they came out. It feels like it's been fifty kajillion years, to be honest. I've only read one issue of Countdown, missed two wars (World War Hulk and the Sinestro Corps War), and let entire storylines I was kinda interested in finish up without me bothering (Action Comics, Wonder Woman, Justice League, Fantastic Four). I've continued to buy some monthly releases (everything by Brubaker, pretty much, Morrison's Batman, Blue Beetle) on which I am, with a few exceptions, completely behind. Since June, it's pretty much been Kirby Omnibuses (Omnibi?), some indy books, and a ton of manga.

I'd like to think this'll mean I'll bring "soft eyes" (as the people at The Wire would have it) to these old school big-ass round-ups. But what it probably means is you'll have to issue corrections-a-plenty in the comments field, and remind me that "Ben Grimm is The Thing, not The Hulk," "Norman Osborne is still alive and running Thunderbolts" and "Geoff Johns is only writing twenty comics a month now, and not forty."

Caveat/invitation (or cavitation, if you prefer) out of the way:

30 DAYS OF NIGHT BEYOND BARROW #2: Steve Niles and Bill Sienkiewicz have a lazy-off and we're invited! While I've never cottoned much to Niles' tin ear, he's at least trying to make things easier for his artist by setting the bulk of his scenes either inside a Humvee or in a snowstorm. Sienkiewicz, on the other hand, while turning in some lovely splash pages, can't even be bothered to make the book's single action scene slightly comprehensible. (If you've read Sienkiewicz's classic work, you know he's capable of doing it and getting all the neat splashy impressionistic effects he wants.) Didn't read the first issue of this; won't be reading the last issue of this. AWFUL stuff.

ABYSS #2: A sitcom version of Wanted, this works moderately well, with decent dialogue, great pacing, and a good change-up in the plot (also, a helpful, legible recap page which, since I didn't read the first issue, was a huge plus). I'm a little over books that use analogues to shorthand relationships (and provide for easy joke fodder) but that wasn't handled too badly. Highly OK and I wouldn't mind seeing the next issue.

ALL NEW ATOM #18: Didn't read the previous issue of this, but the priorities of the ending seem a bit off: what about Atom's date? Is Head dead? It's a bummer the big hero moments push away the small character stuff, but isn't that usually the way with Marvel and DC these days? On the plus side, having an angry mob burn Atom on a Foreman Grill is a funny spin on the classic Silver Age "Atom in Peril" scenes. If I was following this book regularly, it'd probably rank on the OK side of things for me. Since it's not really my thing, it got a high EH.

ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #8: When a comic book opens up right after the Joker has finished making sweet love, you know it's gonna be weird. Although, actually, the rest of the book is relatively straightforward, slow-moving, and cameo-jammed; it's like it was written by Jeph Loeb on elephant tranquilizers. The only other notable bit of weirdness about it is Batman's interior narration concerning Dick Grayson, which sounds a bit like if you cast Marv from Sin City in the Adam Sandler role in Big Daddy: "Damn. This brat's starting to get to me. What am I doing, playing father? This is the dumbest move I've made in my whole life." Huh? Sadly, not insane enough to be more or less than EH.

ATOMIC ROBO #3: Every time I read that title and it doesn't say "Atomic Hobo," I die a little. The pacing falls apart a little--okay, a lot--at the end (there should at least be a "To Be Continued---?" or something before launching into the back-up story, and the back-up story has no real kick to it unless you know who Jack Parsons is), but writer Brian Clevenger has a nice, rambley way with the dialogue and Scott Wegner's art seems simple and clean without being lazy (although I might've felt differently if this book had been in black and white). Like Abyss, the high concept seems a little too clear to me--it's a robot Hellboy only much sunnier, basically--but, like Abyss, I can see myself picking up another issue if I come across it on the stands. Oh, and I also really appreciated the text page here, too. OK stuff.

AVENGERS: THE INITIATIVE ANNUAL: With the possible exception of the guy who goes on military maneuvers in his wifebeater, this is all pretty intelligently crafted, less a typical Marvel annual than the sort of Secret Files thing DC was so big on not too long ago. What's weird to me, though, is how un-Marvel the approach to the Initiative is--with the possible exception of The Liberteens (an amusing Young Avengers style take on the Liberty Legion), these characters feel like they could be characters in the Wildstorm universe, or Shooter's New Universe, or half a dozen other generic superhero universes. Having the Avengers logo slapped on the logo only makes that stand out even more for me. It's highly OK at least, but it didn't instill me with the faintest desire to see the characters again, because I feel like I've already seen them twenty or thirty times before, and that's kind of a bummer.

BATMAN #671: I've been pretty underwhelmed with Morrison's run on Batman so far--that lovely work by J.H. Williams on the Black Glove story arc was the best case of lipstick on a pig I've seen in some time--but this issue makes me think I just shouldn't expect more than some clever jokes and a bunch of the good ol' kick & punch. Taken purely on that standard, this was pretty OK. In fact, considering it's part 4 of a 7 part inter-book crossover, it's really highly OK. It's still not kung-pao'ing my chicken, though.

BLACK SUMMER #4: First issue of this I've read, although I'm aware of the story's hook thanks to our pal The Internet. Juan Jose Ryp's art is always initially lovely but there never seems to be a lot of signal to go with all the noise, and while it makes for a pretty kick-ass street fighting scene, the following airfight sequence loses, rather than gains, tension as a result. Although I'd say this was mighty EH, it was also more interesting than the last three Authority reboots I read.

BLUE BEETLE #21: I tried to read this with an open mind, but guest writer Justin Peniston has still got a ways to go. He opens and closes the book with the old saying "there are no atheists in foxholes," but to do so, Jaime's father explains the saying means "you have to have faith in yourself" which couldn't be more wrong. Amusing ("And that's what the old saying 'never do anal' means, Jaime: you have to have faith in yourself"), but wrong. EH, but since this is normally one of my favorite books on the market, that's more disappointing than the rating would show.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #9: Wraps up a pitch-perfect little arc by BKV, and if he ever decides to do a Faith miniseries, I'll be front and center. I'm extraordinarily underwhelmed by Georges Jeanty's work, however: there's a few shots of Giles where he looks like a ginormous headed Martian (the purple coloring doesn't help, I admit). Overall, though, really Good stuff.

COUNTDOWN ARENA #1: Of course, I wasn't expecting this to be good or anything, but I was still startled by how god-damned stupid it was, even by its own "Contest of Champions meets Saw" standard. Wake me when they get around to doing "Secret Wars II meets Hostel," will ya? Craptacular.

COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS 21: Second issue of this I've ever read, and it looks less like an epic storyline (or even several) than an epic excuse to cram in every secondary figure of the DCU so as to get cash from their readership. I mean, OMACs, Jason Todd, Karate Kid, Donna Troy, Batman Beyond, and the Monitors, all in one issue, plus Granny Goodness on the cover? (The last of which, by the way, I think even Kirby was never foolhardy enough to do.) This isn't a comic book, it's a mating call! And yet, when one gets down to such uninhibited pandering (as in, say, porn), what's fascinating is how fickle and impatient those being pandered to really are: like any cheesy porn, Countdown is actually really dull because the viewer, encountering a world ostensibly created entirely for them, can't help but pick it apart. (In the case of porn: there's no story; these women are creeping me out; why isn't the sex hot? In the case of Countdown: there's no story; Jason Todd is creeping me out; why isn't the art any good?) It's tempting to give it an EH since it could be much worse than it is, but pandering rarely engenders good will, which is probably why it's easier to call it AWFUL.

DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #3: Seeing Jim Starlin finally write and draw a New Gods comic is a dream come true for me: unfortunately, it turns out to be that dream where Mr. Spock won't stop making unwanted sexual advances. Seeing the guy who created the second best rip-off of Darkseid (with George Lucas arguably creating the first) finally get his hands on Darkseid should be fun and exciting, but instead I kept noticing how everyone in this book looked like they had to poop. So much squatting! It's like Starlin decided to draw Kirby poses but show them from new angles to highlight how unnatural they are. There's also some bullshit about fighting artificially created parademons so the heroes can destroy indiscriminately without worrying about taking actual lives. Lame, lame, lame. It's like paying money to watch Eric Clapton cover a Howling Wolf blues tune and seeing him not only blow the melody, but shear off a fingertip on a guitar string. Depressingly AWFUL.

EXTERMINATORS #24: That faux Kurtz scene amazed me by transcending simple parody--there's a great panel of the character staring with a despair and horror that that tells more than just the exposition he's delivering--and using "Heart of Darkness" as a way to comment on how cruise lines continue the evils of colonialism is really sharp. But once the focus is changed from "colonialism" to "patriarchy," the theme, and the story, falls apart as you read it. (Like, why would the guy go onshore to get his whores and rock when he could stay on the ship?) One of the few times I've read a book and wished it could get a do-over: I think I'd like the next draft of this a lot more than I did this one. EH, in the end.

HOWARD THE DUCK #3: This has a lot going for it--Templeton's script, like classic Gerber scripts, is a mixture of social satire and sheer absurdity, and Bobillo's art is wonderful to look at, particularly in panels when Howard looks a duck version of Harvey Pekar--but also kind of misses the boat in some fundamental way I can't put my finger on. Templeton nails Howard's "only sane person in a world gone mad" positioning, but it's Howard's unique mercurial reactions to that position (angry, depressed, bemused, weary, self-pitying, resigned) that make the character who he is, and the Howard here is maybe a little better adjusted than that. (I also think that Howard worked better on the fringes of the MU, rather than so front and center). So I don't know how to rate it: It's OK, but it also feels a bit like a big mistake.

HOUSE OF M AVENGERS #2: As long as you can get over the creative team's utter misunderstanding of The House of M premise (if I remember correctly, Magneto isn't able to retcon all of reality, which is why Wolverine remembers the truth when he gets his memory back, and why Hawkeye flips out after reading the back issues in the Daily Bugle's morgue--it's a precarious half-universe Magneto and Wanda have set up and the history doesn't go very far back), it's pretty darn good. Mike Perkins' art is glossy but expressive (although occasionally very stiff), and Christos Gage puts a lot of depth into his B and C list characters. There's some plot-hammering, sure, and, depth of character aside, I'm not really sure why we're supposed to care about this alternate reality spin of events, but as a Marvel Elseworlds kind of thing about characters only me and a few other '70s nerds would care about, it's GOOD stuff. Baffling in a "why is this on the market?" kind of way, admittedly, but Good.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #15: Haven't bothered with the book since Meltzer left, but this issue at least, thanks in part to the art team and McDuffie's script, reads like Meltzer without all the Mary Sue date rapery ("Come on, you really like Red Arrow, don't you? Don't you? Come on...") which makes it both much more readable and less interesting. It would've been nice if there'd been at least one establishing shot to let me know where this was taking place since there was, at most, two panels with any sort of visible background in them at all, but whatever. Seemed like a pretty vacuous wrap-up but I didn't read the first three (or four?) issues setting it up so maybe I'm wrong. EH.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #11: Might be the Alex Ross influence, or whatever nine million other deadlines he has going on, but Geoff Johns is usually better at having issues of his books read like actual issues and not just collections of cool scenes. I mean, we've got a cosmic treadmill sequence, the JLA and the JSA checking out Kingdom Come Superman, Power Girl crying, the JLA apparently fucking off because we never see them again, the JSA inspiring people by flying around like a Macy's Day parade float, we're introduced to Judomaster and three or four potentially embarrassing ethnic supervillains, there's a fight, Kingdom Come Superman thinks Judomaster should be arrested because she won't talk to people, Kingdom Come Superman and Power Girl have a touching scene together, then people find a body and Mr. America shows up. In the past, Johns was pretty good at traditional storytelling (something in the fight between Judomaster and those villains would make KC Superman realize he has to reach out to Power Girl) but this is frustrating in its "and then this happens to set that up, and this happens to set that up, and this happens because Alex wants an exploding Japanese fat man, and you can figure out why they're all in the same book." I'm loathe to call it AWFUL, but when I remember what this book was like in its previous run (particularly before issue #50 or so), I get very sad.

LOBSTER JOHNSON #4: I'll be picking up the trade on this. Hadn't bothered with previous issues since the Hellboy spin-off books usually don't do it for me (and I'm always suspicious of characters that sound like someone's nickname for their penis), but goddamn if artist Jason Armstrong and colorist Dave Stewart don't drive this baby to Awesometown. Mignola is also on his game here with a script that leaves plenty of room for big action moments, and he's got a nice way with the dialogue, so that when the villain says of this request for 369 dragons, "That will be the number of my army," you get that "hey, it's the pretentious-speaking bad guy" jolt without it just sounding like recycled Dr. Doomisms. VERY GOOD stuff and, like I say, I'll be getting the trade.

MIDNIGHTER: Some spiffy political subtext, brings back a character and ideas from Millar's run, filled with a lot of bloody violence, and has about the only plot hook (who was the Midnighter before he became the Midnighter) I can see being left to play with the character. Apart from a bad storytelling slip (Midnighter breaks the surveillance camera in his room, but a previous page shows that's he's being watched from multiple angles), there's not anything to bitch about. If Chris Sprouse was still on the book, I bet I'd even give this sucker a Good--but a combo of the art not doing much for me and being burnt out on the character puts it at highly OK for me. If you still like the character, however, you'll probably like this.

ROBIN #169: A real and ongoing problem with the bat-books--and with nearly all superhero books these days--is that the writers treat character motivations like switches they can turn on and off whenever they want. Not that I follow it that closely, but Tim Drake is fine with being an orphan except when he isn't; is the most level-headed member of the Bat-Family except when he's the most headstrong; and the least threatened by all the other Batman successors, except when he is. I'm okay with a gimme or two--Tim is obsessed with restoring Conner because he can't bring back his family, for example--but the conclusions Milligan comes to here about Robin's character seem like perfectly rational ones made by someone who hasn't bothered to read up on the character much. Which is all my long-winded way of saying: felt plot-hammered and I didn't care. EH.

ULTIMATES 3 #1: Weird and desperate even by Jeph Loeb's current storytelling standards, and I'm kinda shocked by the hubris at signing on to a book for which he has absolutely no affinity whatsoever. I read somewhere that Loeb had no interest in playing with political text and subtext as Millar did, but all that's leaves him with is making explicit the erotic bits and pieces Millar left more or less implicit, and the usual Loeb "here's a full page reveal of a surprise cameo" trick. The scenes are shittily paced (Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver leave the room and don't come back when something crashes through the wall five seconds later), the characterizations are off (the Ultimate Thor is using faux Shakespeare speak, Ultimate Wasp acts just like 616 Wasp, Ultimate Captain America is a sullen prude), and new characters are introduced without the slightest bit of characterization. It's all genuinely terrible stuff, but, amazingly, still not as bad as the overly dark, stilted, sketchy art. I mean, check out that first splash page where Thor is apparently punching himself through a wall, or where Valkyrie would be leaping off her winged horse if it wasn't thirty feet behind her, or that sequence where Quicksilver apparently chases a bullet after it's missed Wanda (rather than go after the shooter) and the bullet is beside him in one panel, behind him in another panel, and moving in a completely different direction in another. By the time Millar and Hitch were finished with their run, I had lost already lost interest in reading The Ultimates, and this issue still made me all but weep tears of blood. True CRAP, and an embarrassment to everyone involved. Yikes.

WET MOON, VOL. 3: Fetishistic plump girl cheesecake intermixed with ultra-banal dialogue--kinda like if Larry Clarke was into chunky girls instead of shirtless skater guys. And while Ross Campbell's work is formidably realized, with detailed characters and an ear for conversational nuance, it also felt aimless, obsessive, and incapable of insight (which is why I prefer, say, R. Crumb's and Dave Cooper's and Los Hernandez Bros' material as it rises above mere chunky girl obsessions). The craft makes it an OK book, and it wasn't an unpleasant read, but the unsavory onanistic qualities make it hard to really recommend.

***

Whew. I've still got another twelve books or so to go, but lemme get this out into the world and give my brain time to recharge, 'kay?

"Do you enjoy flirting with pain, my little hedgehog?": Jog could have bought this off of any magazine rack around, 12/5 or not

And that's not even the best line to be found in the publication under review today, dear old Heavy Metal, which released a new issue to comics stores this week. No, the gold cup can only go to this fearsome remark, dropped by a street tough in the middle of a mugging:

"Be calm and in a few minutes you will have the possibility to stay on your own and do your oscene acts!"

Maybe I've just been oscenely spoiled by the proliferation of manga, but I do kind of expect a higher quality of translation these days, particularly from what's still a highly visible, accessible forum for European comics in English. Maybe the most visible. I'm not saying that all manga translations are great or anything, but I can't recall the last time I found myself tripping on the dialogue, or scratching my head over what was supposed to be happening on a given page because the words weren't quite matching the pictures. That still happens with the non-English portions of this magazine, and it's really too bad.

I will say that that story I got the above example from (Friends, by Davide Furno & Paolo Armitano) was noticeably worse than the rest of the issue, but even the other pieces manage clunkers like "Now we are going to have some. Nobody can jerk me around and get away with it!" Oh well. Anyway -

Heavy Metal (Jan. 2008): The main feature for this new issue, which is what I'll focus on, is the 62-page debut of a brand-new series from artist Paolo Eleuteri Serpieri, best known for the eight-volume Morbus Gravis series of sci-fi sex comics starring a young woman named Druuna.

Druuna, in case you're not a seasoned reader, doesn't always wear so much clothing. This may well be the key to her international success, although Serpieri's knack for detailed, fiercely hatched and scratched environments may hold its own appeal for admirers of realist fantasy illustration.

That's what's at the fore of Hell (Les Enfers). Written by Jean Dufaux (of the series Raptors and Dixie Road, both in English from NBM), the album does sort of fudge the Dirk Deppey test for quality in Heavy Metal licenses, in that the human naked breasts don't show until page 33, although demonic nudity is prominent by page 5. Accordingly, there's a good deal of story in place, although most of it amounts to scene-setting.

The plot concerns political and religious trouble in a fantasy Venice. A ruined old man passes away, but not before entrusting his young daughter with a sacred artifact the family stole a few heads ago: three magical keys, each of which will unlock the hidden door to the afterlife, but produce a unique result. One will open Paradise. One will reveal Hell. And one will lead to absolute nothingness, which doesn't sound like a great deal either.

Aided by the old man's servant, a long-haired dude with strange secrets and a desire to dress in a cloak and mask while out looking for trouble, Our Heroine grows up to be La Luna, champion of the common folk against the theocratic reign of Sancti Aura, "the right-wing inquisitors" (think they're villains?), led by her wicked uncle (a guy with wires sticking out of half his metal head with a flesh face stretched across the front), who also wants the keys. As does Galadriel, a chalk-white male/female demon who's supposed to be watching the sacred door, but mostly scowls and gets easily misled.

Oh, and for a little extra topical kick, the Catholic-type inquisitors are expecting Islamic-style guests for a holy/magical technological Great Duel for the hearts and minds of the citizenry. Uncle Robot's big trick is to rip off an index finger, fire delightful cartoon lightning into a hole, and summon Moloch, a nuclear(?) warhead with tentacles.

(pardon the non-English illustration)

It's all very flush and socio-political in that European-pop-comics-that-tend-to-get-licensed-by-Heavy-Metal way, and actually fairly intriguing. I suppose the problem is that Dufaux has so much premise to knock through, that the whole story seems like an extended prologue, with the cast's basic motivations just barely sketched in by the close, which makes me wonder how future volumes of the same length might deepen these individual characterizations without knocking the pace out of wack. It doesn't compare well with a similar religion/politics series from a famous Italian smutty artist also running in Heavy Metal - Borgia, by Alejandro Jodorowsky and Milo Manara, which has a way of blowing through years of history with exploitation verve and a deeper, more convincingly cynical take on human and divine affairs.

Still, we've got Serpieri, and he lavishes attention on what I can best describe as Renaissance-fascist decor amidst obsolete future tech, and his characters have a way of remaining expressive despite the heaviness of their detail. Well, save for La Luna herself, who sometimes seems lacquered like a piece of furniture in the Druuna tradition - it's more fitting to heap such gloss on the heroine's posture if you're doing a male-targeted sex comic, since she's the obvious focal point of everyone's attention anyway, but a story this involved with place needs plenty of grit to get on everyone. OKAY.

The Beach of the Future: Douglas examines DC's publishing schedule for next summer

DC's graphic novel catalogue for Summer 2008 lists almost 150 books coming out between May and August. That's a lot for any publisher. Notably, there seem to be quite a few hardcovers collecting recent storylines; they include Batman: The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul, Booster Gold: 52 Pick-Up, Superman: Escape from Bizarro World, All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder vol. 1, The Crime Bible: The Five Lessons of Blood, Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War vol. 2, Green Lantern: Tales of the Sinestro Corps, Justice League of America: The Injustice League, Superman: Last Son, The Flash: The Wild Wests, Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes, Astro City: The Dark Ages vol. 1, World of Warcraft Vol. 1, The Brave and the Bold: The Book of Destiny, All Star Superman vol. 2, The Death of the New Gods and Metal Men. Some odd choices in there--Booster Gold, for instance, feels like a paperback kind of series to me--but it'll be interesting to see how this pans out.

Showcase volumes, for those who (like me) care: vol. 4 of Superman, vol. 3 of Batman and Green Lantern, vol. 2 of Hawkman, the Atom, the Flash and the Haunted Tank, and vol. 1 of House of Secrets.

A few highlights, month by month:

MAY 2008 Batman: The Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul: One of ten Batman books coming out to catch the Dark Knight wave. Interesting to see this credited to "Grant Morrison and others," since Morrison is apparently writing exactly one episode of the crossover proper. Jack Kirby's O.M.A.C.: $25 hardcover, described as "a companion to the JACK KIRBY'S FOURTH WORLD OMNIBUS" series. I wonder if it'll be printed on newsprint, too? That was a weird but strangely effective design decision--the archivist in me howls at it, but that's also the format Kirby's work was created for, and it looks great. The Legion of Super-Heroes: 1,050 Years of the Future: a retrospective anthology commemorating 50 years since Adventure Comics #247. Absolute Sandman Vol. 3: Guess we don't have to wait a year for the next one! Vertigo: First Cut: Five bucks for the first issues of Army@Love, Crossing Midnight, DMZ, The Exterminators, Jack of Fables, Loveless and Scalped. Which suggests they'll all still be running then.

JUNE 2008 All Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder, vol. 1: Implying that there will be a second volume eventually... Demo: The Brian Wood/Becky Cloonan miniseries, in a single volume from Vertigo. Y: The Last Man Vol. 10: Whys and Wherefores: I'll be curious to see what sort of wrap-up stories there are when this hits, as opposed to when the final issue of the series is published. The New York Four: Brian Wood and Ryan Kelly's Minx book. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Black Dossier: The Absolute Edition: 99 bucks.

JULY 2008 World of Warcraft vol. 1: I couldn't make it through the first issue, but I know there are some serious fans of the game out there; looks like Walter Simonson's signed on to write the whole first volume, at least. Janes in Love: The sequel to The PLAIN Janes.

AUGUST 2008 All-Star Superman Vol. 2: Well, assuming Quitely can complete three more issues by then... The Spirit Archives Vol. 25: Here's a nice surprise: this volume will reprint the complete run of the daily Spirit strip--initially drawn by Will Eisner (who only drew the first six weeks' worth, but continued to write it for a while), then by Jack Cole, and finally by Lou Fine. I'm crossing my fingers for a book reprinting all of Eisner's post-'50s Spirit stories, but I might be crossing them for a while. America's Best Comics Sampler: A $5 paperback with what looks to be the first issues of most of the non-LXG ABC titles.

Oh, Jeph!

Jeph Loeb is an odd writer -- he knows his fanboy moments, he's good at spinning out big wacky ideas, and he writes a lot of commercially successful books. Yet (regardless of positions on WIZARD's "hot list") he's barely the kind of writer that people specifically seek out -- it's far more fair to say that he manages to work with some of the best ARTISTS in the business, and so he has "heat by association" -- and, as a general rule, I find that (unlike, say, another "Big Idea" generator like a Grant Morrison) he seldom knows how to end his stories or to find something PAST that "big idea". (Your mileage, as they say, may vary)

On the other hand, I think he's an extremely nice guy, and everytime we've ever run into each other at a convention or something, he's always been extremely gracious and friendly, even if I've recently panned something he's written.

Let us hope that continues after today, for I come not to praise Caesar...

ULTIMATES 3 #1: seems to me to suffer from a somewhat normal "post-Millar" syndrome. Millar is, above all else, a showman who tries to come up with the biggest boldest ideas he can. I'd say we've seen this somewhat before, with THE AUTHORITY. What on EARTH can you follow Millar's run with? Basically, you can't. The stuff is so big, so apeshit, there's nowhere else to run with it.

People with really long memories can remember my thoughts on the end of Millar's first ULTIMATES arc (I said something like "Right, well, that's it, can't top that as a superhero extravaganza", which got me a semi-nasty "are you kidding me?" email from Mark Waid), and I still think that's pretty true -- in making a story so big and "contemporary", there really isn't a lot of places that are left to go.

In fact, I tend to think that both THE AUTHORITY (both Ellis' and Millar's runs) as well as THE ULTIMATES were very much "of their time", and trying to continue on, in the same vein, is almost certainly a doomed proposition. That's not to say it couldn't possibly be done -- anything is possible -- but that it probably makes more sense to come up with something else than to try and follow those acts.

But Jeph largely just follows what Millar established in ULTIMATES in ULTIMATES 3, without a whole lot of new ideas thrown in. Yep, these are pretty loathsome, amoral characters, but it's reasonably easy to overlook that as long as their foes are even worse, and there's enough 'splody to distract you.

In U3, there doesn't really appear to be any especial threat, other than the characters own amorality. Oh sure, someone gets shot, and there's a not-particularly-conforming-to-ULTIMATE-SPIDER-MAN-Venom attack that goes nowhere, but other than that it looks like a team full of death-seekers, libertines, junkies, and incest participants casting around waiting for a threat to emerge.

Structurally, there's not much in this first issue to bring me back for another.

Joe Madureira is another mystery to me -- I never really got the appeal of his body of work, and his, shall we say, lackadaisical approach to production always grated me the wrong way. I can't say, based on the work here that I would have necessarily even have guessed this was Joe Mad -- it doesn't look a whole lot like BATTLE CHASERS, really. What I wonder is how much of the art is actually the colorist, Christian Lichtner (who really really likes earth tones)?

It's been selling well enough, so far (though way below the last Millar/Hitch issue for us), and, of course, we're hoping and praying that enough of this is actually completed so that all five issues will come out when they should (The Ultimate Universe CAN'T afford another scheduling fiasco like U-2 became. Or even UltPOWER or UltVISION or the dreaded UltWOLVERINE/HULK) But what I really came away from this work feeling was that the Ulti-verse really feels like it is past its expiration date here. It hasn't gone sour quite yet, but there really isn't anything unique or compelling about it any longer.

Overall, I'd have to say EH, which is far less than you'd want for your Big Tentpole Comic.

***

Meanwhile, in things that Aren't Comics, I really have to comment on the conclusion of the second series of HEROES, and this seems like a good enough place to do it because the final episode said "written by Jeph Loeb" on it.

All of the goodwill I had for this series coming out of the first season (despite its very weak ending) has pretty much evaporated as the show made a series of increasingly poor decisions over these 11 episodes.

(there's definitely SPOILERS here if you haven't watched these yet [Jeff Lester])

First off, in a world-building environment, one of the key things which kicks out the legs of dramatic tension are things that are "too powerful" -- good examples are the powersets of Peter or Sylar, who can basically "do anything" to the point where it seems to me the only possible things that can stop either is each other (and even that seems sorta iffy). I thought it was a really good move to have them both depowered at the start of the season, but since then they're back more powerful than ever. I don't judge that this is going to yield any kind of compelling story for all of the REST of the characters -- what good is being able to talk to computers, or shoot lightning or mimic Jackie Chan if the guy in front of you has all of those powers, plus 9 more?

The other bad storytelling idea they added was cheap and easy resurrection. Yow, talk about sucking the air out of the room. This is a terrible terrible idea, and one they need to jettison first chance next season (if there is one) -- have the resurrectees gain something horrifically debilitating, as the "super blood" takes over their natural blood or something. Because otherwise, there aren't any cliffhangers any longer -- Nathan can be up and around in about 90 seconds, since Peter has BOTH the Claire- and Adam-strains of immortality now.

But above and beyond the "outside" elements which will render this world as something you can't care about, the biggest sin this season has laid out is False Jeopardy, both of the physical and emotional kind. "Such-and-such is dead!" followed 10 minutes later by "Ha! They're not!" sucks as storytelling. Spending so so much time on Claire's emotional traumas when they too are resolved away (through one of the death's), or appear to act contrary to the arc already established (ie Flying Boy's apparently complete reversal of his motivations -- "Robot or Alien?") is completely sloppy and lazy.

I mean, when a quarter of your penultimate episode is "oh no, I've lost my backpack!", followed up by a fake-death cliffhanger than a 4-year old could write their way out of (Duh, Jessica is back), you've gone seriously off the rails.

I also completely resent the plothammering going on here -- which works even less in a movie image than it does on a comics page. Like, for example, why in God's name is Peter completely ignoring Hiro when Hiro has proven himself to Peter already? Even if he feels like he HAS to, why is he trying to use TK to rip open the safe wall, when he has BOTH DL's intangibility power (remember they established him using it to break Adam out of "jail" in the first place) and Hiro's teleporting power? Other than the fact that the writers needed to get Adam into the room too?

Or, why would shooting Nathan change a thing when both Peter and Parkman have the SAME information? In fact, wouldn't the live-on-TV shooting give even MORE weight to there being a Shadowy Conspiracy? It isn't like Peter can't prove pretty definitively he has flashy powers (Parkman's are "less visible", fair enough) -- in fact, wouldn't his first action to be to scoop his brother up and FLY to the nearest hospital? I can't possibly see how the shooting could solve a single solitary thing for The Company.

Or Sylar in the alley. While they get "cute points" for the Popeye callout, if the first 30 seconds of the next episode isn't him soaring back to Mohinder's office and slaughtering the cripple, the little girl, the chick that everyone hates, and Dr. Emo, I'm going to be screaming in frustration.

But I have to say that the dumbest bit of plothammering of all probably had to be Hiro's "revenge" on Adam. Oh sure, clever little image, except for the fact that he's DESECRATING HIS OWN FATHER'S GRAVE DOING SO. If it was some trailer park American trash, then maybe I could let that slide, but with the importance they established, and the Japanese cultural imperatives, that makes NO sense, none, zero, zilch. 'sides Hiro, of all people, should know that you have to actually kill the badguy for it to work -- clearly Adam will eventually get out of there, even if it takes 100 years. He's apparently got nothing but time. If Uma Thurman can dig herself out of her own grave (and you KNOW Hiro was at KILL BILL on opening day...), then surely Vandal Savage can do so as well...

This has been an AWFUL season, with a completely CRAP final episode. To the point where I very much doubt if I'd bother to watch a third season at this particular moment in time.

And I'm the goddamn Target Audience!

What did YOU think?

-B

arrived 12/4

Oooh, I knew I forgot something this week..... 30 DAYS OF NIGHT BEYOND BARROW #2 ABYSS #2 (OF 4) ALL NEW ATOM #18 ANNIHILATION CONQUEST #2 (OF 6) ATOMIC ROBO #3 (OF 6) AVENGERS INITIATIVE ANNUAL #1 SII BETTY #170 BLACK SUMMER #4 (OF 7) BRAWL #2 (OF 3) BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #9 COUNTDOWN ARENA #1 (OF 4) COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS 21 CRAZY MARY TRINITY ONE SHOT DANGERS DOZEN #1 DISTANT #2 (OF 4) DOMINION #3 (OF 5) (RES) DYNAMO 5 #9 EXTERMINATORS #24 FEARLESS #2 (OF 4) FREE SEXXX #4 (A) HOUSE OF M AVENGERS #2 (OF 5) HOWARD THE DUCK #3 (OF 4) INFINITE HORIZON #1 (OF 6) INFINITY INC #4 INVINCIBLE #47 JONAH HEX #26 JUGHEAD AND FRIENDS DIGEST #25 JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #15 JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED #40 JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #11 KABUKI #9 LAZARUS #2 (OF 3) LOBSTER JOHNSON IRON PROMETHEUS #4 (OF 5) LOONEY TUNES #157 MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN #34 METAMORPHO YEAR ONE #5 (OF 6) MIDNIGHTER #14 MS MARVEL #22 NEW BATTLESTAR GALACTICA SEASON ZERO #4 NIGHTMARES AND FAIRY TALES #21 NORTHLANDERS #1 OMEGA UNKNOWN #3 (OF 10) OVERMAN #1 (OF 5) PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #117 PS238 #28 PVP #37 (NOTE PRICE) RAY HARRYHAUSEN PRESENTS SINBAD ROGUE OF MARS #2 (OF 5) REAR ENTRY #17 (A) RESURRECTION #1 ROBIN #169 (GHUL) SILVER SURFER IN THY NAME #2 (OF 4) SPIDER-MAN RED SONJA #1 DYNAMITE ASPEN EX SGN CVR SUBURBAN GLAMOUR #2 (OF 4) SUPERGIRL #24 SWORD #3 SWORD OF RED SONJA DOOM O/T GODS #3 THE ORDER #5 TWELVE #0 TWO GUNS #4 (OF 4) (RES) ULTIMATE X-MEN #88 ULTIMATES 3 #1 (OF 5) UNCANNY X-MEN #493 MC VINYL UNDERGROUND #3 WHAT IF X-MEN RISE & FALL OF SHI'AR EMPIRE WORLD WAR HULK AFTERSMASH WWH X-MEN DIE BY THE SWORD #4 (OF 5) ZOMBIES VS ROBOTS VS AMAZONS #1 (OF 3)

Books / Mags / Stuff ALL NEW ATOM VOL 2 FUTURE PAST TP ART OF P CRAIG RUSSELL HC BATMAN SUPERMAN SAGA OF THE SUPER SONS TP BECK MONGOLIAN CHOP SQUAD VOL 10 GN (OF 19) BIZENGHAST VOL 4 GN (OF 5) BRAVE AND THE BOLD VOL 1 LORDS OF LUCK HC CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG #21 CAPT BRITAIN CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG #22 GHOST RIDER CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG #53 POLARIS CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG LTD GREY HULK VAR CLAWS COME OUT HC DANGER GIRL BODY SHOTS TP DRAMACON VOL 3 GN (OF 3) ESCAPISTS HC FANTASTIC FOUR VISIONARIES JOHN BYRNE TP VOL 08 FAVOLE HC VOL 01 STONE TEARS FAVOLE HC VOL 02 SET ME FREE FOLLOWING CEREBUS #11 (RES) HEAVY METAL JANUARY 2008 #114 HERO BY NIGHT VOL 1 HC MADMAN AND THE ATOMICS VOL 1 TP MARVEL ADVENT HULK TP VOL 01 MISUNDERSTOOD MONSTER DIGEST MY LIFE AS A FOOT GN OWLY TP VOL 04 DONT BE AFRAID POPEYE VOL 2 WELL BLOW ME DOWN HC REX MUNDI VOL 4 CROWN & SWORD TP SIGNAL TO NOISE 2ND ED HC SILVER SURFER REQUIEM PREM HC VADEBONCOEUR COLLECTION OF IMAGES #9 WARREN ELLIS BLACK GAS TP WET MOON VOL 3 GN WHAT IF CLASSIC TP VOL 04 WONDER WOMAN SER 1 WEIGHTED HALF CASE ASST WONTON SOUP GN (RES)

What looks good to YOU?

-B

Scars on 45: Douglas tries the quick-hits thing with a bunch of 11/29 releases

I haven't really done mini-reviews here before, but this is the Season of Experimentation, right? Crime Bible: Five Lessons of Blood #2: Obviously I'd be biased toward this comic, but it really is Very Good: a crisp, done-in-one espionage/romance/psychological thriller-type story about Renee Montoya/the Question infiltrating a crime-cult-operated brothel for wealthy Beltway types in Chevy Chase, MD. Very densely plotted, too--it takes place over the course of two months, and a whole lot happens, most of it nudging forward the overall themes of the series. It's also worth noting that the tone of this issue would've been very different with a male protagonist and everything else the same. (And that Montoya's background gives her a stronger connection between sex and guilt than other people have.) As I mentioned when I reviewed the first issue, The Question is a vehicle for stories about the character's self-exploration, and I kind of love the idea that the crime cult is forcing her to commit what she knows are sins (in the name of doing good) so that she can better understand herself.

One little production note, though: if word balloons are supposed to include unintelligible text (to indicate a not-quite-overheard conversation), it's probably wisest for that text not to be the Photoshop-blurred word "unintelligible," especially if it's still pretty much intelligible.

Love and Capes #6: This is apparently the final issue for now of this fun little series, produced singlehandedly by Thom Zahler, although the text piece at the end promises more to come eventually. The blurb on the cover calls it "The Heroically Super Situation Comedy Comic Book!," which makes it sound slightly more formulaic than it is; it's essentially a romantic comedy about a celebrity dating a non-celebrity, with a superhero angle to make it a little more lively. (The action stuff, including an alien invasion this issue, all happens off-panel; the plot this time concerns the Superman-analogue the Crusader's girlfriend hosting a signing by the Wonder Woman-analogue Amazonia at her bookstore, and gnashing her teeth over the fact that Amazonia's book is partly a kiss-and-tell about the days when she used to date the Crusader.)

Zahler's got a really nice sense of narrative flow and design--I'm particularly fond of his "translucent" speech balloons--and if we have to have computer color modeling in comics, I'm happy to see some of it look like this, with a lot of tones and textures that look more like cel animation than old comic books. It's Good stuff, but I also wouldn't mind a bit if Zahler let these characters' stories end here; most of them don't have a lot of life beyond being breezily written stand-ins for familiar icons, and I'd like to see what he could do outside this set of formal constraints.

Batman #671: I missed the first three parts of "The Resurrection of Ra's al Ghul," and found myself a little lost at the beginning of this issue, but also drawn in, mostly by Tony Daniel and Jonathan Glapion's artwork--they're copping the Neal Adams/Dick Giordano style in a few sequences (cf. the image of the Sensei on the first page, below--that "chunky" line is a total Crusty Bunker effect!), and it looks great.

What we actually get plot-wise, though, is a lot of shouting and fighting. It's Okay, and Batman gets to be a total badass in the climactic fight scene, but compare this to, say, All-Star Superman and it's evident that Morrison's writing a tone--Batman the Badass Hairy-Chested Love God--rather than a story. And I'm wondering where the impetus and plot for "RRaG" (not to be confused with "RRAGG" [at 5:03]) came from: was it at all Morrison's and/or the other Bat-writers' idea, or was it dictated from above?

I'm also wondering if Morrison actually knows what happened in the sequence in 52 #30 he keeps suggesting he's going to expand on. The solicitation for this issue promised that "the secrets of Nanda Parbat are revealed," and the solicitation for #673 also says it "revisits Batman's life-changing Thogal ritual in the caves of Nanda Parbat." Of course, the solicitation for #665 claimed "we learn what really happened to Batman inside the cave in Nanda Parbat when he underwent a seven-day Buddhist isolation ritual to purge his negative karma," and unless I skipped over a few pages, we didn't. The retreat involved in the practice of thogal, by the way, seems rather arduous, especially since it's seven weeks rather than seven days--scroll down to "The Bardo Retreat," near the end--but "attaining the rainbow body" is a bit like becoming a New God, don't you think?

Marvel Atlas #1: And here I was, thinking this was going to be some kind of sequel to Agents of ATLAS. It's actually an Official Handbook sort of thing, with straightforward text infodumps about every real and fictional country in the 616 Universe's Europe and Asia. Perhaps there will eventually be an ATLAS Atlas. (Not to be confused with "Hatless Atlas".) Not nearly as entertaining as it ought to be, despite sentences like "Italy is home to the Mafia and the Maggia" (and a we-wish-we-could-spell-this-out bit of the Ireland entry: "in ancient times Scathach approached a recently orphaned girl, who vowed to the goddess she would only ever love a man who could defeat her in battle"). Where there isn't a lot of Marvel Universe detail, space is filled in with generic world-atlas pieces of information; where there is, piles of stories get referred to glancingly, in a phrase or two. Title and issue-number references (for things other than fictional countries' first appearances) would've made it a bit more useful; as it is, it's not terribly readable, and not much of a reference tool, either. Eh, on the whole, and it's strange that the second issue won't be out until March.

Abhay Reminds You That Feline AIDS is the #1 Killer of Domestic Cats

Chewing over a theme that keeps popping up for me: I played a videogame recently entitled Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty. It’s famous in game circles for its postmodern themes; essentially it’s designed to assault, insult, and berate the gamer for even wanting to play a sequel to Metal Gear Solid. This is amply reflected by the level design: after the gamer completes each level, the narrative states that the completed level was inconsequential, and the gamer’s efforts were frivolous. At one point, the game explicitly tells the gamer to shut off his Playstation. Finally, at the end, the gamer’s decision to finish the game is described as a sign of his obedience to power, and his lack of humanity.

It’s a pretty gnarly video game.

Metal Gear Solid 2 is funniest when it mocks the former game's sentimentality. My favorite moment in the entire game involves the player character’s romantic foil, nicknamed EE– after you repeatedly save her life, she dies anyway in the arms of her brother instead, while finally admitting her incestuous feelings for him. As she dies, she pleads: "Please call me Emma."

Her brother refuses her dying wish: "What's wrong with EE?"

And on that romantic note, she croaks. Even the supporting characters aren’t allowed catharsis from the game! Her brother mourns her: "I'm always the survivor. [a wolf howls in the distance—despite the fact the game is set at sea!!] Why, wolf?"

Narratively, the gamer’s player-character only achieves success and catharsis by rejecting the narrative of the former game (as more thoroughly explained here). The gamer is rewarded for his efforts by being increasingly disassociated with the player-character; the more you succeed, the more you watch your player-character grow progressively disillusioned with the game itself. The finale is the main character’s escape from the artificial narrative of the game, from the genre, from video games, and most of all, from YOU.

One of the characters in the game is named Peter Stillman, cribbed of course from Paul Auster’s City of Glass which comic book fans all know and love thanks to the masterpiece adaptation from Paul Karasik and Dave Mazzucchelli. I reread the book last summer, after having not looked at it since it came out, thanks to the recent Picador reprint. Goddamn, you know?

City of Glass: a detective mystery story with no solution. No mystery. Gradually, no detective.

The Comics Journal placed the adaptation at #45 on its 100 Greatest English-language Comics (and uh: Al Hirschfeld drawings) of the 20th century list. Personally, I think it could have been a bit higher on the list, but... It’s defeated on the list by Ghost World, Dick Tracy, Plastic Man, etc. If you want an example of lovable cartoon characters trumping formalism and narrative sophistication visa vi audience affection, that might be grist for the mill. Of course, you’d have to care where it ended up on some list, which ...

There’s a great quote from Paul Karasik about the book’s use of the 9-panel grid:

[It] looks like a jail cell door. That's it! We'll use this grid in all sorts of ways in the first half of the book to reinforce this rigid structure that Quinn has locked himself into. Bit by bit we're going to break down the grid in subtle ways. As his sanity leaves, the drawing itself will start going off-kilter. Mazzucchelli, in an old interview with Indy Magazine, says something similarly quotable:

Most of the comics I made before City of Glass have cinematic tendencies — and by "cinematic" I'm referring to the way each panel creates a kind of mise en scene; and the way the sequence of panels — often without narration — evokes a linear progression of time. (Actually, I dislike comparisons between comics and movies, but this is the clearest way I can describe what I'm thinking of.) Paul thinks of comics in much more graphic terms — drawing as symbol, cipher, icon...cartoon!

That interview includes “cinematic” test pages for City of Glass. They’re disastrous in comparison to the final product: they’re regular old comic book pages. The final product is so dense, challenging, disconcerting, ultimately ecstatic. For any comic book fan, I don’t see how City of Glass would be anything other than an ecstatic experience with its frequent metamorphoses: image becoming icon becoming image, text playing off image playing off text, and so on. Je-sus. What other word is there as the camera prowls about, and visual metaphors multiply, and layer builds upon layer, as the main “character” dissolves right before our eyes both visually and textually, what other word is there but “ecstasy”? Not good-piece-of-chocolate ecstasy, but…

I feel silly even talking about it-- everyone’s read that book, right? But: characters escaping from their narrative, expelled from their genre, flung from conventions...

Pick up issue #11 of Casanova, on stands this week-- dude, there it is again:

The issue mirrors #2 of the last series: a character meets his/her literary forbearer, gets naked with them, and— Ha-Ha— kills them. Characters violently reject the future that genre and convention would create for them. Inside the narrative, time is echoing for the characters, and outside the narrative, the book is echoing itself for the readers. I guess Hermetics might mutter something about “as above, so below” or whatever, but I don’t know any Hermetics. Oh, there’s more regret this time than last time around. It's a bummer in #11.

Still: all in the context of an arc where the title character has disappeared from the narrative of his own book. The other characters try to fuck and kill their way through the normal spy-whatever without him, but four issues later, it’s not really working out so hot, is it? When any of the characters stop and pause, doubt floods in. If this arc is about gluttony, the characters are all in that gap between gluttony and pleasure.

Question for you: Is Zephyr the “bad guy” for wanting and doing the same things Casanova did in Vol. 1, i.e. to kill her progenitors, deny her father, escape into a new family, escape from a comic book that’s not quite about her? Are Cass’s friends the “good guys” for wanting to drag Casanova back into their world of empty genre thrills, even after all it got him was a trip to the hospital? Which side are you on?

Extra credit: Do you get a little teeny-tiny shiver from the shift on the first page from the rocket launch to the scuba scene? Is that something we all get? Is that a big reason why we still read comics? Is there a word for why we like that? When a fingerprint becomes a library becomes a city becomes a cupcake sandwich in City of Glass, do you just want to throw your fist into the air and howl like the illogical wolf from Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty? Can you buy cupcake sandwiches? Is that a thing? That should be a thing. I think I just invented a thing.

I could wring another couple paragraphs for the very enjoyable, very similar Umbrella Academy too, droning on about the rather obvious ways that fits in. Or I could talk about J.M. DeMatteis and Paul Neary’s Captain America Issue 297, my favorite comic when I was a kid and the second comic book I remember buying. It was about Captain America being trapped by Baron Zemo in a machine that recreates the adventure where Bucky dies for Cap, in order to drive him crazy with the memory of his failure; instead, Captain America escapes the machine by saving Bucky in the false reality instead—achieving victory only by defying the previous narrative.

But you get what I’m talking about: that theme, man, that goddamned theme.

Escape. Dissolve. Disappear.

You know? It’s everywhere. It keeps turning up like a bad penny, or the number 23, or ads for that movie about the number 23. And I happen to subscribe to the school of thought that what we notice in what we read, what we respond to, often says more about us than about the work itself… So plainly, this is all my subconscious trying to tell myself something, albeit via Playstation games, cheap comic books, bubblegum wrappers. And that something … that something… that something is what? What is it? I’m experiencing a feeling of a need to escape the present strictures of my life...? The walls are closing in? Time is fleeting? Madness takes its toll? That I’m easily replaceable both at work and socially? That I don’t even know how I got here, and I’m just looking for a way out, and … and… and—and – and--

Dfjsdafjkadfjadk;fj;asdklfjl; asdj/asdfjak— #####@#Okay, then, fuck em all-- First, you have to burn off your fingerprints using hydrochloric acid-- Is hydrochloric acid something you can buy? -- Fuck it, you can use a rusty knife-- Tetanus can’t stop you-- the fingerprints are coming off -- they can find you with your fingerprints—creditors will hunt you down-- the credit card companies own dogs-- they collect your urine when you’re not looking-- you have to start reading David Ickes-- Sell everything in your apartment-- anything you can’t sell gets burned—you’re going to burn this mother to the ground—oh wait, it’s probably a breach of your lease agreement to burn things in your apartment—and you won’t get your security deposit back—They always screw you on the security deposit-- How is that legal? -- GO OFF THE GRID -- You take buses to a different city-- grow a beard-- use only cash-- the streets will be your bathroom-- the streets will also be your university-- the University of Bathroom will be your alma mater—your official transcript will be printed on toilet paper and it’ll be printed in feces -- (probably your own!) -- that way no one will ask to see it twice—you’ll have diplomas made at Kinkos-- then burn the diplomas-- then burn down the Kinkos just to be sure—shave off the beard---find a job where they don’t ask too many questions on the job interview-- Pot deliveryman-- Working a counter at a leather corset store-- Head of FEMA-- zciuiopzsfgfsgaahfgnmhm— Read Catcher in the Rye on your days off-- You’ll play an acoustic guitar for tips-- play Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins -- Write for a Freegan blog named Rude Not Bombs-- yeah, yeah, be a Freegan-- That’s kind of a step up from Comic Book Fan, right? -- It goes Wiccan, Comic Book Fan, Frotteurist, then Freegan-- that’s a deuce—- hide your pubic hairs in library books-- get food and clothing out of dumpsters— Jodie Foster probably likes you-- the next time anyone hears from you, your name will be Roger Thornhill and you’ll be an anonymous leather corset salesman who smells like a dumpster and you’ll probably have severe burns over 23% of your body-- Except – noone – will—hear—from—you—

… On the other hand, I really do want to find out who the Skrulls are. I bet Black Panther’s a Skrull. Getting married? Joining the Fantastic Four? Does that sound like the Black Panther to you? When he could be out in Wakanda, enjoying the fruits of his Vibranium mines, straight chilling? Come on. Come on, now. What does he have to do, take out a billboard on Highway 90 that says “Kl'rt the Super-Skrull is my Co-pilot”, people? Am I right, here? What a total Skrull that dude is. That dude? Skrull. I gotta get up early for work tomorrow.

But after I find out about Black Panther, then that whole “off the grid” pubic-hair thing is on. Yeah... Win-win. Thanks, Casanova.

"WHO WANTS IT FIRST?!": Jog on the disreputable tales of 11/29

I love a good theme post like I love a good meal. Which reminds me that I'm going to have to trudge through tomorrow's ice storm to get food.

Speak of the Devil #3 (of 6): Back in July when I reviewed the first issue of this, Gilbert Hernandez's sex-horror trash film in comics form, I qualified my then-lukewarm reaction by noting "I expect better as it collects itself." Reviews of works in progress operate as analysis in progress. My qualms with the debut stemmed from Hernandez's use of a spread-out 'cinematic' style to start up a larky story, making it seem especially vaporous.

Well, it's now halfway through and Hernandez has provided some condensation; the initial masked night romps of young Val -- popular high school student, and a peeping tom with a special interest in her exhibitionist stepmom -- have given way to several plot complications, and the flighty joy of Hernandez's wide panels is accordingly replaced with tighter, troublesome panels. As always, the artist is in total control of pacing (both in-issue and across the wider story - this guy knows how to serialize), and even toss-off sequences are rich with storytelling technique - there's a swell page of back-and-forth conversation where each speaking character is kept off-panel, to express their lack of connection in spatial terms. Nice.

The story, oh... there's graveyard sex and older women bedding young fellows and teenage lesbian tension between gymnasts and half-dead infants kept in drawers. Hernandez's ever-building tension climaxes with a nice midpoint explosion of violence, and it'll be something to see where he takes things from there. I do still think this sort of stuff would have been better delivered as a single book, like its similarly conceived, as of now far superior sibling work Chance in Hell (one of the best comics of the year, btw), or maybe in the larger chunks Love and Rockets will soon be providing, but I can't deny the cumulative effect brewing. I'm having a GOOD time.

Foolkiller #2 (of 5): Of course, maybe I'm just a ghoul, and a sucker for exploitation nonsense. This latest issue of Marvel's MAX update for the Steve Gerber concept sees writer Gregg Hurwitz recounting the origin of the new Foolkiller, Michael Trace, who has two evident skills: (1) getting members of his immediate family killed; and (2) making shitloads of money by sheer chance. As a boy, Michael shoplifted some comics, then told a lie about his crime - this resulted in his father being shot and killed. Later, as a troubled young man, Michael walked into a casino and won ten million dollars on his first try at the slots. Ah, the tides of fate.

But I think the part where I really started grooving had Michael practicing his katana moves during a board meeting of the corporation he founded with his winnings, only pausing to ok the use of cheap alloys in their automobiles. Alas, those alloys go into a car driven by Michael's own dear mother, causing her to fatally crash... into a busload of innocent children!! It's like Spider-Man's origin is this guy's mutant power! We also get the origins of all of Foolkiller's stuff - his tattoos, his staff, his dog (complete with the pup getting bigger and meaner with time) - it's comprehensive!

The tone is strange, with tongue-in-cheek moments that'll probably only register to those who'd dig the content were it totally straight. I suspect the tortured 'fools' theme won't help - the title character delivers a long speech over the last quarter of the issue, and I could barely even parse it. On the other hand, Lan Medina's art is the best I've seen from him (is Andy Troy coloring from pencils?), every panel full of rich grot. Still OKAY, but maybe it's just me.

People always come home: Graeme Dares from 11/29

I'm not sure whether it's a sign of my age, or the quality of the comics he's appeared in, that I can remember at least three different attempts to reboot Dan Dare that I've read (Plus an additional TV series that I missed, thankfully) before this week's DAN DARE #1. Of all of those - including Garth Ennis's latest one - I still think that Grant Morrison and Rian Hughes' Dare: The Future is the best one, mainly because it works as something other than nostalgia for a character and era long past. Or, perhaps, because it works as commentary on nostalgia for a character and era long past (as well as Thatcher's Britain, which is in itself a character and era long past. That, definitely, is a sign of my age).

It's the nostalgia that drags down the newest version of the character for me. Part of it is intentional, of course - Dare's recreation of a safe fantasy version of England that's stuck in the era in which he first appeared is, after all, shown to be unreal towards the end of the issue - but there's this whole additional level of, I don't know, belief in some ideal of masculinity and heroism that the book is built on that just feels not only old-fashioned but outdated. The idea of Dan's stoic, silent self surviving the moral decay that lesser mortals (including his former sidekicks) have fallen prey to, leaving him as the one character who can save the day not from the aliens but from everything, feels not only like something from another time, but from nostalgia for another school of storytelling whatsoever; the John Wayne archetype that drove other Ennis books like Preacher. And, for all his genre faults, Dan Dare was never a Western, leaving this new version as something that's potentially interesting, if miscast and more hollow than it could be.

(Artwise, since I rarely mention that, I should point out that Gary Erskine's work is solid but unspectacular - His line, at this point, has become so similar to Chris Weston's, even as his draughtsmanship isn't as static nor as realized - but there's something missing in the way the book looks. It feels familiar in the wrong way, as if we've seen it all before, but elsewhere, as opposed to coming back home to something from childhood.)

It's an Okay attempt at bringing the character back, even as it misses out entirely what made him an interesting character to begin with.

A Pilgrim's Progress: Jeff Gets It Together and Finally Reviews Scott Pilgrim Vol. 4.

A lot of things impressed me about Bryan Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together, but what really caught my attention is how different it is from the previous volume, Scott Pilgrim & The Infinite Sadness: whereas vol. 3 is jammed with action (it's only 13 pages into vol. 3 before someone gets punched with a bionic arm) and veined with character interplay, vol. 4 grounds the humor and emotional relationships in the foreground and keeps the action sequences very short until the end: it's as assured in its pacing as volume three was messily ambitious, and there's nothing unresolved here that isn't clearly laying groundwork for a later volume. By the time I made it through the final thirty-plus page climax which neatly intermingles fight scenes and emotional confrontations, I felt vol. 4 was the best volume of Scott Pilgrim since the first. That being the case, why did it take me a month to review it?

Back when I reviewed volume three, I wrote the book made me "wish O'Malley hadn't been staring down the barrel of a blown deadline so he could've taken the time to really fine-tune the material." Vol. 4 gives me that wish in quasi-Monkey's Paw-ish spades: the darn thing feels as tightly structured as a Hollywood movie, and that amazingly satisfying finale works the same way a finale works in really good action movie--with the final action sequence and the main character's emotional arc resolving simultaneously.

Unfortunately, as with many a good action movie, that satisfaction may come as a result of some potentially dishonest manipulation. "Oh, hey," Scott says at one point to an old friend he's showing around, "maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags," which is sadly more-or-less true. Although Scott's friends in the past have had varying levels of patience for his general cluelessness, occasional whininess, and stretches of passivity, in SPGIT, they act less like friends than annoyed older siblings stuck taking care of a younger sibling. While it leads to any number of great lines (After Scott gets a job for doing little more than vowing to work hard, his friend Kim says, "Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.") and increases the drama of the final confrontation, it also adds a slightly unpleasant tone to the book. In the past, I've thought of Scott as a well-meaning but self-absorbed tool, and O'Malley goes to great lengths here to set me and others like me straight and show Scott for the genuinely sweet guy he is, but it comes at a bit of a cost. At one or two points during my first read-through, I found myself thinking, "Uh, am I the only one having fun here?"

I hope not, because the book is so filled with delightful tricks and jokes and charming details--eight bit captions and video game references, depleting thirst and pee meters, directional arrows, dotted paths a la Family Circus, panels of people laughing pulled straight from Charles Schulz's Peanuts, inventories of pockets and shopping carts, ellipses becoming a character's wide-eyed fear of speaking--one would like to think O'Malley had at least some fun in creating it.

[I've been casting about for a way to organically work in how much O'Malley's art has grown between volumes and I'm not having a lot of luck, but if you go to just about any page of SPGIT, you'll see how impressively rich in detail the work has become. The page that got me was the first one at Sneaky Dee's, where one panel has five main characters in a booth, five other clearly delineated bystanders, the Sneaky Dee's logo, and even clearly discernible food on some plates, a task I can't even contemplate accomplishing for a book published in digest size. And this richness in detail in no way clutters up O'Malley's clean and focused storytelling, which is doubly goddam amazing.]

But even if one does suspect O'Malley wasn't having oodles of fun working on this, this volume of Scott Pilgrim is a pretty massive win, the kind that would have Entertaiment Weekly titling their review, "Bryan O'Lee Malley Gets It Together." And if this volume's achievement comes at the cost of feeling a touch too professional--one tiny step closer to Scott Pilgrim's Well-Crafted Product--there's no way O'Malley can be faulted for that: in the course of giving us nearly 800 pages of material in a little over four years, it's only natural O'Malley's powers of craft will begin to catch up--and perhaps even exceed--his generous talents and ambitions. Whatever happens, Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together is absolutely Very Good work, and definitely worth your time if you haven't yet picked it up.

The Old and the Late: Jog is standing here with the comics of yesterday, 11/29

The concerns of several nations are churning in the funnies tonight, oh yes. Lock and load for relevance, gang. Wait, does that mean we shoot it? Let me think this through...

Dan Dare #1 (of 7): The start of what may be a handsome Virgin Comics outing for the venerable British space hero, and a most refined example of today's large-scale corporate 'name' hero adventure, with a stately pace that still conveys its straightforward plot effectively, an appreciation for spectacle that doesn't cross the line into filmic thrall, and a somewhat nuanced take on what icons of older values can mean when set down in a current world perhaps looking after different ideals. Nothing quite daring, but it knows what it's doing.

Yet writer Garth Ennis isn't just adept at hitting the beats of big hero comics; he grasps the nature of Dan Dare as a war hero, albeit one of space, and accordingly deploys some the grizzled-yet-elegiac tone of his military tales. It's more War Stories than The Boys, or even The Punisher MAX, with a fiery battle amongst spaceships poised like cannon exchanges on the high seas, and familiar supporting characters chafing against civilian roles like fictional combat lifers tend to do. Artist Gary Erskine is at his most appropriately starched, with Dare's famous zig-zag eyebrow as stiff as his upper lip; it makes for occasionally awkward battle, but conveys much taciturn pride.

Central to it all is Ennis' Dare, called back by a craven politician to once again face the wicked Mekon. Of course, he's prepared to embody the old national values most others have forgotten. Again, that's not a fresh take on its own -- it's a stock Captain America approach, for instance -- but Ennis cannily plays up the eerie nature of a devout man of a different era, one fit to construct a simulacra of an idealized past and just stare at it. Ennis' soldiers inevitably face their killing hearts, but his Dare's appeal is his frightening backbone. Highly GOOD.

Doc Frankenstein #6: This, meanwhile, reads like the leftovers of a different Ennis - it's a comic so eager to shock the religiously sensitive that its cover loudly announces the blasphemy inside. Moms across the land may disapprove!

At this point, it's pretty clear the story is aiming to be a pop parable of the US struggle between faith and reason, with 'balance' maintained by suggesting that heroic, misfit-lovin' man-monster rationalist Doc, who might be Jesus' brother, or at least an allegorical stand-in, needs to accept the magical/spiritual things, lest he become as damaging as those awful, murdering, hypocritical moron fuckhead Catholics and fundamentalists, which kind of get combined into an omnishit Christianity of BAD.

For this issue, writers Larry & Andy Wachowski mostly have a sexy magic pixie tell the truth about God while a tortured Deacon -- he prays with his eyes closed, gang! -- sputters about his beliefs with all the conviction of an agnostic toward the end of a Jack T. Chick tract. This means many pages of Yahweh tromping around as a violent lout, saying dirty words and drawing out the nasty implications of the Good Book, as I'm sure you've seen somewhere before. Meanwhile, the quirky little kid character is quirky, and other characters kindly explain Doc's motivation.

It's boring, but I did crack a smile at: (1) warlike Yahweh dressed as He-Man; (2) the Ark of the Covenant used as a missile launcher; and (3) Our Lord doing a Tex Avery horny wolf homage as he spots the Virgin Mary. The writers may have suggested those jokes, but it's the high spirits of artist Steve Skroce, stretching his bright superhero realist style just far enough into cartoon elasticity, that adds all the zip. He's enough to drag this from the pits, but it's AWFUL nonetheless.

Killing Time: Jeff Talks Movies Instead of Reviewing Books.

A review for Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together should be forthcoming sometime soon but I keep coming up with new ways to put it off (if you download Sid Meier's Pirates from Gametap, expect at least five hours of your life to disappear in flash). Like today, for example. There's no reason I couldn't sit down and organize my thoughts on the book, but instead I'm gonna review a few movies I saw rather than, y'know, being true to the purpose of this blog. I apologize. (On the other hand, it's probably foolhardy to try another comics-related post on the same 24 hour period as Jog's awe-inspiring Jademan essay, so maybe this will work out best for all involved.)

COMEDIAN: Accomplishes the more-or-less impossible task of making me like Jerry Seinfeld again. During the height of publicity for the "may be the Gone With The Wind of talking animal CG movies and I'll never know because I'd rather die than watch it" Bee Movie, I found myself wishing the guy would just...go away. Go far, far away. And that's part of what makes this documentary kinda interesting--despite Seinfeld's name and mug plastered all over nearly every inch of the DVD and case, the man's barely in it.

Oh sure, he's in it--the majority of the film focuses on Seinfeld building a new routine after retiring his old set and talking comedy with fellow comedians (with the remaining third or so of the film covering the counterpoint of young up-n-comer Orny Adams on the cusp of his career moving to the next level)--but it's not the smirking, bemused, low-key Jerry Seinfeld we're used to seeing (and, in my case, pretty damn sick of). No, the Jerry Seinfeld of Comedian is a glassy-eyed, queasy looking junkie, chasing the comedy dragon from nightclub to nightclub, working his material up from six minutes to fifteen to thirty, comparing notes after hours with other comedians who similarly look gassy and uncomfortable. At one point, after a less-than-stellar set, someone tries to reassure Seinfeld by saying, "Well, you looked like you were having fun up there," to which he tersely replies, "Yeah, that's the job." And although Seinfeld flies from gig to gig in private chartered jets, and spends time at his house on the Hamptons, it's clear his material possessions don't mean half as much as the strange, ephemeral high of making people laugh.

Although it doesn't go as far as one would want in showing how spectacularly fucked up and insanely neurotic stand-up comedians can be, Comedian nevertheless shows a world few of us are exposed to, and a flip-side to celebrity, without condescension or bias. It's highly OK, and certainly worth a rental.

DYNAMITE WARRIOR: The action setpieces and Tony Jaa's athleticism in Ong-Bak and Tom Yum Goong (released here as The Protector) impressed the hell out of me, but it was the out-of-control insanity of 2004's Born To Fight that made me vow to check out anything done by Thai production company Baa-Ram-Ewe. That movie--an astonishing mix of propaganda flick and Die Hard featuring athletes and poor villagers kicking the shit out of mercenaries and soldiers--stars Dan Chupong, a guy who makes the charisma-light performances of Tony Jaa seem positively Brandoesque in comparison. (On the other hand, Chupong spends so much time in mid-air you're convinced he lives there.)

Chupong is also the lead of Dynamite Warrior, but whereas Born To Fight is like a Thai John Woo flick (and Ong-Bak and Tom Yum Goong are like Thai Jackie Chan flicks), Dynamite Warrior is a Thai version of that other Hong Kong film staple, the batshit-crazy historical wire-fu flick.

Set at the turn of the 20th Century, Chupong plays a mysterious rocket-riding hero who appears out of nowhere and kicks the shit out of corrupt water buffalo rustlers and herders, looking for the man who killed his parents. He finds him, but of course the man is gifted with immense magical powers, as well as the ability to turn two of his henchmen into monkey and tiger-possessed strongmen. In order to defeat him, Chupong needs the menstrual blood of an evil wizard's virginal daughter (well, sure, who doesn't?) as well as the assistance of an untrustworthy hare-lipped tractor salesman.

I was willing to forgive Dynamite Warrior an endless number of sins (Chupong is an utterly binary actor, capable of only expressing determination or befuddlement, making his love scenes pretty hilarious; the plot makes even less sense than my summary conveys; and there's tons of not-particularly-funny broad, vulgar comedy) but for this: the action scenes aren't a tenth of what you'll find in Ong-Bak, Tom Yum Goong, or Born To Fight. There's a lot of the cheats you get from a wire-fu flick, with people flying halfway across a meadow at each other while dynamically pumping their arms, but additionally shots of blows being thrown are cut away at the moment of impact to show someone reeling backward.

I mean, it's not terrible if you like this kind of thing: even if they might be wire-rigged, Chupong does some truly spectacular flips and leaps, and the scenes where things go truly nuts (like when the tiger guy and the monkey guy start chasing a rocket-powered wagon) are enjoyable in a "Hey, you've got to come see this!" kind of way. But by the standard of previous Baa-Ram-Ewe flicks, Dynamite Warrior is pretty Eh--unlikely to be the sort of thing you and your friends will gleefully pass around.

DAN IN REAL LIFE: Oh, god. This is the sort of thing you go see with your wife on "Date Night," and afterward spend almost as long bitching about it as you did watching it. Steve Carell is Dan, a widower advice columnist with three feisty daughters. They go to the annual family reunion where, on his own in the nearby town, Dan meets cute and falls in love with Marie (Juliette Binoche), who he later learns is the new girlfriend of Carell's younger brother (Dane Cook).

The funniest thing about Dan In Real Life is the title, as the filmmakers--apparently test-tube specimens raised in a lab with only nutrient tubes and a copy of Final Draft to sustain them--have no actual experience with real life whatsoever. Dan's interactions with his daughters, the scene where Dan and Marie meet, and particularly every scene with Dan's family lacks any ear for dialogue or eye for verisimilitude one would expect from someone given money by investors to make an indie film romantic comedy. Dan's family, in particular, seem less like recognizable human beings and more like labrador retrievers wearing human skin, jumping up and down whenever anyone suggests an activity and running about the kitchen yelping indiscreetly.

Also, the tone is really, really off in the film, with topics like grief and death and familial betrayal being treated like the perfect jumping-off points for cheap one-liners and awful acoustic songs warbled by some indy folk dude who's clearly spent more of his professional career worrying about hair conditioner than chord progressions. It's as if the filmmakers were told that the film was going to be marketed overseas as Little Miss Sunshine 2 and to film accordingly.

I don't know what other romantic comedies are out there for people to go to on date night, but avoid the Crap that is Dan In Real Life and go see them instead. Honestly, even watching a calf get hit by a heavy mallet for forty-five minutes is a more enjoyable cinematic experience.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN: As a fan of both the Coen Brothers and of Cormac McCarthy, I couldn't be more pleased with this flick which adapts McCarthy's recent novel to the screen (I haven't read it). Not only is it a gorgeous, taut film packed with sharp dialogue, it feels to me like a culmination and canny distillation of many of the Coen Brothers' thematic obsessions--particularly in its portrayal of dead-eyed assassin Anton Chigurh (brilliantly played by Javier Bardem). If you've followed enough of their films, you know they usually include a terse, violent sociopath who enjoys inflicting pain (and they usually have a connotation of being foreigners as well--I'm thinking of The Dane from Miller's Crossing, Peter Stormare's Swede in Fargo, even the German anarchists from The Big Liebowski, as well as Goodman in Barton Fink, Tex Cobb in Raising Arizona, and M. Emmett Walsh in Blood Simple) but Chigurh overwhelms all of them with his awful haircut, his creaky voice, and his air-compressor M.O. Although efficient in everything he does, he's terrifyingly and hilariously incapable of understanding humanity, and humanity is similarly unable to understand him. (Also, he steals the coin-flipping gimmick from Two-Face, so you gotta love the guy.)

Like I said, I haven't read McCarthy's book but I assume Chigurh's horrific larger-than-life attributes come directly from there, as one of McCarthy's ongoing themes are the powerful forces capable of indiscriminately crushing all men, good and bad, strong and weak. Similarly, the very strange turn the movie takes in its final quarter strikes me as straight from McCarthy--not only does he refuse to treat people's mortality with any sort of sentimental escapism, but he's just as likely to end his stories with characters ruminating on visions and dreams that run the terminator between hope and despair.

And yet, again, what's great about No Country For Old Men is that it's very much a Coen Brothers movie, with the ending not unlike that of Fargo, where Frances McDormand's character, like Tommy Lee Jones', can do little more than ponder imcomprehensible evil while taking comfort in the ability to love and be loved by others.

Whether or not the end of the movie succeeds in opening the frame up on its genre conventions and pointing to their larger implications on life and civilization (it didn't entirely work for me), the first three quarters of No Country For Old Men is a remarkable crime-thriller, a violent game of hide-and-seek taking place across small towns and great plains, and absolutely unmissable. I still haven't seen Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, which a lot of people have recommended to me, but No Country For Old Men is Excellent stuff, and currently my pick for movie of the year.

Randy Newman's Faust was more impressive: Graeme looks at, spoils, One More Day from 11/29.

So this is how I found out who the bad guy was in "One More Day". I picked up a copy of THE SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN #41 and started flipping through the back of the book, wondering what pointless background material they were putting in this issue to justify the increased price, and there was a reprint of an old Silver Surfer comic which had nothing to do with Spider-Man whatsoever. Now, don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against the chance to read old Stan Lee and John Buscema stories, but it was so out of place that I'd wondered if Marvel had just given up and started putting anything in the OMD books, just to make sure that they hit the revised revised shipping dates. Instead, there's a caption below the cover of the Surfer issue, announcing that it's the first appearance of the bad guy behind the whole Spider-reboot shebang.

Yes, this is the issue where we finally get to the whole meat of the One More Day story, and in terms of meat, it's stringy, tasteless and drowning in cheese, just like my mother used to make.

It's not enough that the whole concept of One More Day doesn't really make sense as a Spider-Man story - "If you could magically heal your Aunt, would you?" is just a wee bit too removed from the whole despite-your-powers-you're-only-human-so-try-your-best aspect of "With great power comes great responsibility" for me - but now that we finally get to the whole magical reboot offer, even that doesn't make any sense on it's own. We literally get (spoiler) Mephisto showing up out of nowhere and actually literally says "I want your love... I want your marriage." It's a good thing Spider-Man interrupts him there, because I believe the next line was going to be "I have no reason to want your love, or to even get involved in your life, but, you know, Joe Quesada really, really doesn't want you guys to be married and he's the editor-in-chief, so..." It's a crazy, nonsensical scene - Mephisto has no motivation to be there or make that offer, other than a generic "Well, he's the devil" one; even his stated reasoning - "I want that which gives you joy, that which sustains you in your moments of greatest despair" - doesn't make sense because, dude, why does he care about Spider-Man in the first place? Doesn't Mephisto normally go up against Thor or Ghost Rider or someone? And more importantly, if what he wants is to undermine Spider-Man's moral center and security, then he'd let Aunt May die, not offer this cut-rate Faustian bargain.

(Yes, I know; this way, Spider-Man and Mary Jane have to choose between their marriage and letting Aunt May die and huzzah for more guilt for Peter, but Mephisto still has no reason to be in this story making that offer in the first place. It's the Chewbacca Defense as applied to getting Spidey out of his marriage.)

And another, smaller but still annoying, thing: Since when did Marvel solve all their perceived problems with dumb magic reboots? Just as DC completely undercut the dramatic tension in their superhero books with all of the continuity reboots, Marvel's doing the same with these smaller individual magic fixes. Editorial doesn't like the direction of the X-Books? That's fine; have Wanda magic them all away! Joe Quesada doesn't like Spider-Man being married? That's fine! Mephisto can show up and magic that away as well! It eats away at what little reality these books have left, if that makes sense; I'm now waiting for someone to magic the Skrulls away at the end of Secret Invasion, or bring Captain America back to life (That could even be the big finish of Secret Invasion - "I will take the life-force of all these Skrulls and use them to return America's greatest hero to life!" "Are you sure you can do that, Dr. Strange?" "Yes, Iron Man - - Because you have learned humility").

Maybe I'm just cranky, or maybe thinking about this book too much because it's not coming out weekly as planned - it's pretty much a means to an end, anyway, with everyone really just waiting for the Brand New Day relaunch - but this was lazily put-together Crap. There is one good thing about it, though; Joe Quesada's artwork has really pulled itself together in this issue, and there are some nice-looking scenes throughout the whole thing. Maybe all those delays had some purpose after all...

My Life is Choked with Comics #14 - Jademan Comics

This is the story of how I met Jademan Wong.

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I.

In the beginning, there were the images. I couldn't tell you how I found them, but I did. They were volcanic eruptions of cartoon violence, the marching, oozing cover brand of old comic books. I didn't know a thing about them, but I never forgot them. That was how Jademan Wong -- writer, artist, funnybook publisher, studio head, newspaper magnate, national success, menace to youth, jailbird, fact, fiction, the king of Hong Kong comics -- got inside of me.

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I doubt he's around anymore. Oh, he's alive. And working. Thriving, even. But that's not quite what I mean.

II.

When I think of Jademan Wong, I realize I'm contemplating an illusion, a personal image sold unsuccessfully to Americans in now-obscure comic books. But it sold to me. It didn't sell anything but itself, but it sold, long past its sell date. I wonder what he'd think of that.

The facts of Wong's life vary from account to account, and I regret having not read Wendy Siuyi Wong's 2002 book Hong Kong Comics: A History of Manhua, which is supposed to be the crucial book on the wider topic. Instead, I'll be taking much of my information from the publicity materials included with one of the comic books Jademan published in North America. Not everyone remembers, but Jademan Comics published over one hundred issues of Hong Kong manhua in English, for US consumption, from 1988 to 1993. When I tracked some down, they didn't look at all like the goopy, vivid things I'd seen before, so I didn't make the connection at first. But Jademan Wong was there.

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In 1950, one Wong Yuk Long was born in China. His family moved to Hong Kong when he was seven, and there he began reading comics. Before long, he was writing and drawing the damned things - his first published work appeared when he was eleven. At the ripe old age of seventeen, he began publishing comics himself. His most successful company, Jademan, launched in 1971. Asian comics art expert Dr. John A. Lent notes that Wong "almost single-handedly fashioned contemporary Hong Kong comics," estimating that Jademan eventually gained 70-90% of the nation's comics trade.

Wong would eventually become known simply as Tony Wong. For his readers, he took the name "Jademan" Wong, literally becoming one with his publisher. It's how you give it a human face, you see.

Or maybe he just made that part up for his US history, and nobody in Hong Kong knew him as Jademan Wong at all - I am going off of promotion here.

But that's also how you can give it a human face, and it's Jademan Wong that I know.

III.

Jademan the company came to handle Wong's comics from top to bottom: production, printing, the works. The impact of Japanese manga on Hong Kong had already been huge, and Wong adopted many foreign attributes, including visual style and story content. And more.

In an interview with Giant Robot from a few years back, Wong cited Golgo 13 creator Takao Saito as an influence (albeit for his earlier James Bond adaptations), and I find that especially fitting - just as Saito established a vast studio of specialist employees to ultimately maintain a 44-page-per-week pace, Wong set himself up as the head of his own team, sketching out pages in pencil for a multitude of aides to complete, piece by piece, though in bleeding color and at American dimensions, weekly.

The kung fu comics fans out there among you have surely heard of the man's works, and are no doubt annoyed with my calling him "Jademan" so much. But I suspect most readers of this site have come across at least one comic that sports his art. By which I mean, his team's art. And one comic specifically.

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Yep, same guy in charge.

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As it turned out, the gory images that had so floored me were from the beginning of Wong's long-running series Oriental Heroes (or: Dragon Tiger Gate), then titled Little Rascals. Those really good covers only made up about the first fifty or so issues before things calmed down a little. Not that it kept Wong from running afoul of 1975 legislation prohibiting extreme violence in comics, although it was no big deal - Wong simply began his own newspaper to serialize his comics away from the law's grasp. That's just how he rolled. Ted May of It Lives and Injury Comics has more from that period at his site.

The series is still running today, although it looks slightly different.

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I suspect Wong is not the type to let changes in popular taste pass him by. From my observation, his comics often look 'of their time,' regardless of exactly what time it is, certainly due to a constant influx of young employees to work the pens. I couldn't tell you how much Wong actually draws anymore, or how his comics even read, since I haven't gotten my hands on a very big sample, but I'm not really telling you about comics today anyway. I'm telling you about the vision comics can project of their creators.

Two comic books shaped my vision of Jademan Wong.

IV.

In 1988, Jademan Comics released its first offering in the US.

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It previewed the company's four big upcoming series:

(the aforementioned)

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(and)

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(plus)

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(with)

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Mike Baron of Nexus and The Badger was recruited to provide English adaptations of the scripts, and apparently worked on all the comics in that initial special, although you can see that Roger Salick had also been brought in by the time The Force of Buddha's Palm was actually released.

But, maybe it wouldn't be too wise to trust those covers - after all, the creator and artist behind The Blood Sword (Chinese Hero), the ultra-popular Ma Wing Shing, isn't even mentioned. Instead, everything everywhere is written and drawn by Tony Wong.

Really, the lead character of the book is Wong himself. The very first page, a glossy color foldout, bears Wong's smiling, mustachioed face, flanked by a photo of Jademan's huge Jademan Center headquarters, and a list of Jademan's Hong Kong holdings (advertising! television listings! printing! graphic art! magazines!). The rest of the piece, hopefully not written by Mike Baron, reveals how comics are made the Jademan way: Tony "Jademan" Wong in his crisp white shirt and red tie sitting behind papers ("Tony Wong, The master archited of each story, produces pencial sketches"), followed by a long line of frowning men without ties doing other things.

A second glossy foldout begins with a delicate wash rendering of Our Hero in formal wear, looking ready to kiss his way into your checking account. The tale inside, modestly titled "TONY WONG Hong Kong's Legendary Success Story" delivers the breathless history of a superdeformed cartoon Tony Wong, who grows from weeping babe to a powerful man in a tuxedo, literally standing atop the Earth, a large pen thrust down into a nation. He grins madly.

"This is just the beginning. I am nowhere close to the legendary Walt Disney. I shall continue my struggle to reach even higher standards and greater heights until the whole worlds [sic] comes to know the comics with the oriental touch."

The reverse side then launches the comic into the high camp stratosphere, being a glorious photographic centerfold image of Wong in casual gear, waving to the reader while leaning against a shiny red sports car, perched above the bustling world he no doubt rules. You can bet your ass that shit would be hanging in my locker, had I one today. The rest of the book's Wong content, seeing the kingpin back in his shirt & tie and gesturing toward hot free merchandise like Vanna White, can't nearly compare.

Now, if you actually stop to read the comics in this comic book, a set of introductions to the four upcoming series apparently cut 'n pasted from various issues, you'll run into some trouble. Baron appears to be attempting a sort of exclamatory high action style with his adaptation (which might simply be an effect of working with the material's original language), but the result is stilted when matched up with the reams of caption-based information he's forced to contend with. Errors pop up - in one panel, caption material shows up in a thought bubble, making things inadvertently avant-garde (in later issues of other series, the dialogue of one bubble would pick up the nasty habit of switching spaces with another bubble's, adding to the surrealism). The overall effect, however unfair, is 'please buy our confusing and information-dense kung fu comics so we can afford to learn how to print them.'

But that's not the message of Jademan Wong. He's the legendary hero of capitalism, and his overall effect is 'I am an amazing man, and you should buy my comics to get in on my self-made empire of triumph.' It's deeply goofy, but there's a real appeal to his go-for-broke press into new territory, and his enthusiasm is palpable. Even looking at it right now, I think "Who is this guy?"

And then:

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The images recur, ricocheting off the smiling man with the mustache and the red tie. "That's kinda how he bought that car," I think. V.

Jademan Comics published mostly kung fu stuff during their half-decade in the US market, but they did make the obligatory effort toward showing that Hong Kong comics were about more than just historical fictions kicking one another in novel ways. Hence:

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Er, that's Jademan Collection, a three-issue run of short story collections released in 1989 and 1990.

Issue #1 of that is the second comic book that shaped my vision of Jademan Wong.

Featuring English adaptations by Len Wein (yes, Wolverine, Swamp Thing; Len Wein), the book actually has a pretty diverse lineup of stuff. Its kickoff story is a horror short by Lee Chi Ching, now the winner of Japan's first-ever International Manga Award. There's a slightly deadpan comedy short by one Taipo Tsui, whose work is influenced enough by Ryoichi Ikegami that the whole thing winds up looking remarkably like Cromartie High School. There's a romantic melodrama, a sex comedy, a Snow White parody starring Jademan Wong...

Oh yes, Jademan Wong (and that's the name he's called by) is a character in some of the odder of these stories. I suspect they ran as serial backup shorts in other titles, since they're clearly stitched together from bits and pieces, and feature what I presume are Jademan staffers clowning in comics form, with Wong playing head buffoon. The Snow White parody is ok.

But the first of those stories, and indeed the first glimpse any American reader was likely to get of Wong's comics persona, was a little ditty by Wong Kwok Hing titled The Musty Bride. I don't have any scans from the story ready, so please bear with me as I present a few more Tony Wong classics to break up the paragraphs - heaven knows they were floating through my head as I read the story.

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The tale begins with a pen-wielding man wearing a pighat, presumably Wong Kwok Hing himself, making reference to a cover page which we cannot see but probably did exist in the Hong Kong original. He announces an erotic mud-wrestling match, the very mention of which zips him off to a wrestling ring filled with a gigantic, curly lump of manga-style poo. "Oh, it's just mud!" remarks our host, after dipping a finger in and tasting it.

The competitors are then introduced: a brawny, busty woman, and "Miss Lady Wong," obviously Jademan Wong, mustache and all, in a pink leotard and hair bow. The announcer then goes about searching the titans for foreign objects, leaving handprints all over the woman, but stopping in a panic once he dips down below with Publisher Tony "Jademan" Wong.

"Hey, what are you hiding down there?"

"Honest - it's nothing! Take a second look!"

He then reaches back in, and pulls out... a thick stack of bills! "Hey - no problem!" winks the announcer. It's really a bit like if Bullpen Bulletins was chock-full of jokes about Dashin' Don Heck mistakenly grabbing Smilin' Stan's junk, but both of them being cool with it. Or maybe I haven't gotted to the good months?

Anyway, Wong and the woman wrestle around until a mighty belly flop leaves a crater in the shape of Wong's outline, including his gigantic penis, which somehow escaped and is bigger than either of his legs. As you might guess, this ends the match, although I don't know if a DQ means the title switches hands.

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The scene then shifts to a skyscraper, where a muscleman is impressing some ladies (one of whom may be a man) with his feats of strength. But the party ends when Jademan Wong bursts in, wearing shades, tight jeans, and an open pink shirt tied off to accentuate his bust. "I'm just too tempting to resist -!" he declares, before unleashing the aroma of his armpits, which drives the ladies wild with lust.

Meanwhile, a private detective is consulting with Wong's father, who's shamed by his son's insatiable, pansexual ways, which will surely lead to madness. The only answer is to hire a woman to marry him, preferably a "musty" sort of old-fashioned girl who won't lead a man astray. Soon the perfect lass is selected, complete with musty mother, but our Jademan balks at the idea, declaring the girl a three naught: "Not beautiful! Not a nice bust! Not a nice tush!" This classic comedy ends with Wong's dad threatening to defoliate the comics legend's nipples, then ripping his clothes off because it's a bad habit to sleep while dressed.

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So Wong goes to meet up with his betrothed.

"So - where should we go?"

"How about straight to hell?"

They settle on the beach, and while Wong is initially annoyed by the girl's slow rate of speed with her sporty red car (the sporty red car?!), lo and behold - he soon gets good and worked up as she demonstrates her skill with the stick shift. And he wets his pants, in case things were getting too highbrow, what with the visual metaphor.

Things get even better when they decide to hit the waves ("A swim? Aren't you afraid of being mistaken for a surfboard?" - like, really, did Tezuka publish strips like this?), and it turns out that the girl is really a wild and crazy modern woman whose mother had subjected her to full-torso binding so the rest of the world wouldn't covet her curves. The couple then happily beats the shit out of some local thugs, then it turns out that their parents (who were following along) had been robbed and stripped naked, which means they have to get married too, ha ha? The end!

What thrills me first about this story, is that somebody thought it would be fit to publish in the very first issue of a comic by an unknown-in-the-US company, looking to serve an audience that couldn't have known much about Tony Wong, Man of Legend, save that he was all over these books.

But what thrills me second, is how the story's odd contours do indeed zing and spark off of Wong's fresh image. Surely he's got a sense of humor, but even the jokes resonate with the playboyish boy publisher and his kingdom of fighters. He's modern. Annoys the elderly. Socially curious; witty; in charge. He's publishing the comic you're holding in your hand. I remember that he used to draw comics about little boy and girl fighters having street wars with their guts falling out.

Before you, says the image, waits a kingdom of untethered entertainment. Comics with a maniac in charge, and he's got a message for YOU. One that promises the glory of another nation's pop, to infest the one that's here. I suppose that's the message of all pop comics from outside cultures - but Jademan Wong made it all seem to me like the product of a man's sick, wonderful personality, the eccentric alive and validated and the fore of a mass culture just some water away.

Lies, yeah. To an extent. But I appreciate good illusion.

VI(OLENCE).

Of course, reality had to go on for the real Tony Wong. Even as Jademan Comics published away in the US, the company at home fell apart. Wong was jailed for a short time in the early '90s, on charges of forgery. But then he got out, formed a new company called Jade Dynasty, which is still in comics. Some of his works were picked up by Image (which had a short-lived line of Jade Dynasty books in the late '90s) and Dark Horse, as well as manga publishers Comics One and DrMaster. He drew Batman, or at least directed someone to draw Batman. Life went on.

I'm sure he doesn't use the name Jademan Wong anymore, considering that Jademan itself is no more. Hook your persona to the publisher, and one goes down with the other. Still, the spice and implications of the construct make me smile. I guess I've excerpted a notion of what Jademan was. It can swim toward ideal, so long as I know too what the truth was, so much as it can be known through the mechanisms of language and commerce.

The reality of today is readily in my grasp.

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But my memory returns to that first shock of knowing.

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May you live forever, Jademan Wong.

Graeme will never sleep: Finishing off 11/21.

Another day, another later-than-intended entry. This is what happens when work is insanely busy and family members are sick, making everything slightly more distracted than you'd really want...

THE FLASH #234: Mark Waid's transformation of this book into family-friendly adventure continues, but there's something off, somehow; the pacing seems strange, and while individual scenes play out well, it fails to gel into a satisfying whole for some reason. Much more successful are the back-up strips of derring-do from former Flashes on an alien planet, which manage to squeeze as much fun as possible out of their short length. After such a strong start only a couple of months ago, it's sad to see this being "only" Okay; I hope it'll find its footing again soon.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK #111: Or, really, a trial run for the renamed Incredible Hercules book, considering the lack of Hulk and focus on the Herc/Cho/Angel/Namora team that's been leading this book over the last few months. It's a good sign, too, that the new/old book will be worth checking out, as everything here is pretty Good; Cho's pretty much been the breakout star of the World War Hulk event for me, and his interplay with the dumb but well-meaning Hercules is entertaining enough for me to want to see more. Shame that it's not the creative partners on this particular issue (Jeff Parker co-writes with Greg Pak, and Leonard Kirk draws) that'll be sticking around, but I've dug Fred Van Lente elsewhere...

IRON MAN, DIRECTOR OF SHIELD ANNUAL #1: There's probably a good book hidden somewhere in here; the cover seems to be hinting at one, at least. But I just couldn't get past the art to get to it - Harvey Talibao's work has this weird over-anatomizing of everyone (especially the women, who get objectified here even in defiance of what the dialogue for a particular panel might say) that distracts, and it's matched with hyperactive pastel coloring that manages to draw too much attention to itself while flattening out the page as to be almost unreadable. I'm sure that there was more to Christos Gage's script than what I remember from reading the book - essentially, "Tony Stark goes undercover, meets lots of women with big breasts, then becomes Iron Man and blows something up" - but I have absolutely no desire to put my eyes through that kind of pain again to find out. Awful.

WHAT IF ANNIHILATION REACHED EARTH?: First off, I love that that's actually the title of the book. Second off, this is one of those What Ifs where you wish that this had happened instead of the "real" continuity, if only because characters in this book act more in character - and more heroically - than they do in their own books. It feels like the most classically "Marvel" thing I've read for awhile, even with the suicidal ending, and the scope and execution are satisfying in a way that the end of Civil War just... wasn't. On it's own, it's a Good book, but as a missed opportunity, it's frustratingly wonderful.

Oh, and Jeff? A. Definitely A.

The post I don't want to make!

While I won't go so far as to claim that I'm the biggest Matt Wagner fan of all time (that would probably go to someone who has inked their body, is my guess), I strongly suspect I am in the top 2% -- I've got something like 20 Wagner originals hanging in the store, our bathroom door is a Grendel Mask, writ large... hell, the store's "Back in 5 minutes" sign is a Matt Wagner original.

So I'm quite sad to say that I was horribly disappointed with GRENDEL: BEHOLD THE DEVIL #1.

The worst of it, really, is it isn't really the work itself -- Matt remains, as always, a consummate storyteller, creative visionary, and experimenter with the form of comics -- but rather with the packaging and presentation and pricing, and the sense that maybe I *am* on the wrong side of history these days and this whole "periodical comic" thing is just a lousy idea.

(Well, no, I'll repudiate that immediately, just by thinking, with a smile on my face of BRAVE&BOLD, my last review, but it looks good in print as a point, so there you are...)

Let me back up about a half-step and remind you that I own a comic book store. This means I pay WHOLESALE for my comics. Hell, I suspect (though I've never tried it) that I could probably even write THAT off my taxes, if I wanted to. So for me, of all people, to be frustrated by cost/content ratios means they've got to be pretty bad.

G:BtD is 20 pages long. For $3.50. That, in and of itself, maybe wouldn't be so bad, except that 2 of those pages are "Journal" pages, with just spot illos, the next six of them are double-page spreads (with 4 of those pretty much just being blood spatters), and there's a page of character-looking-through-newspaper-archives where all of the newspaper clippings are simply Lorem Ipsums. Add in that final pin-up page, and half of the book isn't exactly "comics", really. Plus, it is B&W, with some minor single spot-color red thrown in.

And then, sort of insult-to-injury, the letters page, such that it is (I remember when "Grendel's Lair" used to be one of the densest letters pages in the business) mentions that the "MySpace" preview of the issue has two pages that don't appear in the printed version -- you can't win for losing, can ya'?

(And, aside to Di: next time use TinyURL, instead of that three lines of typing, sheesh!)

Look, I dig Matt, and I dig Grendel, and I love Matt's storytelling and panache and design, but there's absolutely no way I'm going to purchase this serialization. I can't even consider it. Eight issues @ $3.50 a throw (plus the 50 cent "#0") is $28.50. Even when this comes in HC, I can't see it being priced at over $24.95. Even if it was $29.95, hell the extra buck and a half will be worth it for what will likely be a new cover, and title page and some nice designy stuff. And the permanent format.

Craft-wise, G:BtD is, at the very least, GOOD work; it's probably even VERY GOOD -- but as a commercial package, as a unit of entertainment, whoo boy, is this AWFUL.

What did YOU think?

-B