What If Graeme Managed To Read Some Comics From 10/24?

Maybe it was just me, but the old "What If...?" series always seemed better in theory than reality. I mean, sure, the idea of alternative worlds where major Marvel events have gone in the other direction seems like a great idea, but - as anyone who's bought those What If Classic reprints has no doubt realized by now - it quickly ended up as "What If That That Second Last Panel Of Daredevil #38 Had Happened Differently?" with every story either ending in essentially the same way as the original - as if to prove the existence of some kind of cosmic Marvel fate - or with everyone dying. You never quite got exactly what you wanted, with the exception of that Kirby issue where Stan Lee became Mr. Fantastic.

Luckily, only half of WHAT IF: PLANET HULK sucks.

Actually, that's not entirely true; of the two main stories in the book (There's a third story, a one-pager illustrated by Fred Hembeck of all people that's pretty throwaway, but a nice throwback to the comedy moments of the original nonetheless; Greg Pak writes all three stories), the first may be a disappointment in terms of outcome - It's essentially "What if World War Hulk happened with the Hulk's wife instead of the Hulk, and much faster?" - but it's not really sucky as much as rushed and unsatisfying considering its premise. The second story, however, offers an alternative both in terms of concept, but also execution; much quieter, more optimistic and more of a character piece, it is - despite a last page reveal that I'm not sure I understand properly (Have the Hulk and Banner merged? Or the Hulk become really skinny?) - more successful than the first tale, but much more importantly, a counterbalance to the first half of the book that manages to make the entire issue feel more worthwhile and entertaining; some would say Good. Sure, there's no Flo Steinberg becoming the Invisible Woman, but what can you do?

The focused totality of my psychic powers: Graeme finishes off 10/17.

If it's Tuesday*, it's the last minute round-up of other things that I've read this past week. Not everything that I've read, of course, because I don't think anyone wants to know the fruit of my "I must read lots of Claremont X-Men from when I was a kid" labors but, you know. Thank heaven for small mercies, and all that. Still - Hey kids! Comics!

COUNTDOWN #28: And now, almost halfway into the entire series, comes the first "I didn't see that coming" moment of the entire thing (A fact not helped by the fact that so much of the series to this date was revealed in advertisements, solicitations or interviews ahead of time). It wasn't even something I didn't see coming at all, just something that I didn't see coming for awhile; Monarch capturing the "challengers of the beyond" or whatever they're called (and Grant Morrison should complain about his name being stolen, bastardized, and used for such an uninspiring group of characters, really). For a second, I got optimistic about the rest of the series, thinking "Maybe now, things will start to happen and it'll start to be interesting," but then I thought about everything else that happened in the issue, and realized that this was probably just fluke. For now, in that case, this remains pretty much Eh.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #31: Ed Brubaker steps into Chris Claremont's favorite world of mind control - I'd forgotten how much he loved Malice from the Marauders, you know - and produces something much more disturbing than women turning evil and telling everyone around them how freeing it feels (For me, it was Sharon being the nurse; there's something about that that really unsettled me, for some reason). There's a lot to be said for the way that Brubaker's turned this book into an ensemble piece since the death of Steve Rogers, and the cliffhanger of this issue makes me wonder whether the "new" Captain America that we're being promised is going to be a new good guy protagonist, or a mind-controlled Bucky that the rest of the cast are going to have to deal with. Very Good, still.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #14: Is Dwayne McDuffie really apologizing for Ed Benes' art a couple of times, or am I reading into it? First, you get Lex Luthor's "It's unconscionable, isn't it?" following the double-page spread of Wonder Woman, Black Canary and Vixen tied up and displaying tits and ass, and then, following a panel where Black Lightning zaps two women, causing them to arch their backs and, again, display t'n'a to the audience, he says "It looks a lot worse than it actually is." If that's just a coincidence, it's a weird and amusing one. Outside of that, this was a slow third chapter to a story that hadn't really built up that much momentum to begin with, with a central idea that we've seen too many times before. It's still better than Brad Meltzer, but somehow I expected more than just Okay.

MARVEL ZOMBIES 2 #1: Dammit. I wanted to dislike this book on principle. It shouldn't work, after all; there's no real plot to think about, and everything runs on dark humor and a sense of comedic foreboding instead of any kind of plot logic, but somehow, it's still enjoyable even though the joke stopped being funny a long time ago... I don't understand why, but surprisingly Good.

X-MEN: EMPEROR VULCAN #2: Hey, it's the old "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" plot! Good to see the X-Men books reuse this old and somewhat tired trope, and arguably better to see that it still works, to an extent; this may be a firmly B-list spin-off book, but it's nonetheless solidly Good. Maybe Annihilation: Conquest and Green Lantern have put me in the mood to read more space opera, or maybe my Claremont-immersion is starting to skew the quality control of my mind...

But what did the rest of you think?

(* - I had originally written Monday. Even though I know it's Tuesday. Apparently a lack of sleep and posting first thing in the morning doesn't help me with my calendaring.)

arriving 10/24/07

I totally suck at getting reviews done -- in my own defense, I have to get the order form due this week (a week early) because I'm out of town in mid-week, doing the Disneyland trip with Ben. ( I mean, look how late I'm getting this up this week!) Speaking of which: looking at a map, it appears that the SoCal fires are nowhere near Disneyland, but who can really tell from a map? Are we flying into a fire zone, or are there going to be problems with smoke or haze?

Also also: Can anyone tell me anything about taxis from the park? Our flight is 7:50 Thursday, so I want to be at the airport at 7pm. The airport is said to be "15 minutes" away, so if we walk out the front door of Disneyland at, say, 6:30 is it going to be trivial to catch a cab to the airport? What's traffic like around there? Should I plan for more travel time? Anyone know?

This week's list:

2000 AD #1557 2000 AD #1558 30 DAYS OF NIGHT RED SNOW #3 ACTION COMICS #857 ALL NEW OFF HB MARVEL UNIV A TO Z UPDATE #4 ANNIHILATION CONQUEST WRAITH #4 (OF 4) AUTHORITY PRIME #1 (OF 6) BART SIMPSON COMICS #38 BEOWULF #4 BEOWULF IDW TP BETTY #169 BLACK PANTHER #31 BLUE BEETLE #20 CABLE DEADPOOL #46 CASANOVA #10 COUNTDOWN 27 COUNTDOWN SPECIAL THE FLASH 80-PAGE GIANT CRAWL SPACE XXXOMBIES #1 CRIMINAL MACABRE MY DEMON BABY #2 (OF 4) DAREDEVIL #101 DOKTOR SLEEPLESS WRAP CVR #3 FALL OF CTHULHU MAVILLAIN CVR A #7 FEAR AGENT LAST GOODBYE #4 FLASH #233 FOOLKILLER #1 (OF 5) GEN 13 #13 GENE SIMMONS DOMINATRIX #3 GHOST PIRATES VS GHOST NINJAS BRIDE O/T DEAD SEA GLISTER #2 GOTHAM UNDERGROUND #1 (OF 8) GREEN ARROW YEAR ONE #6 (OF 6) GREEN LANTERN CORPS #17 HACK SLASH SERIES CRANK CVR A #5 HELLBLAZER #237 INDIA AUTHENTIC VISHNU #6 INTO THE DUST #2 (OF 12) JELLYFIST JLA CLASSIFIED #45 JUGHEAD AND FRIENDS DIGEST #24 KILLER #5 (OF 10) KILLER #6 (OF 10) LEGION OF SUPER HEROES IN THE 31ST CENTURY #7 LONE RANGER #9 LOOKING FOR GROUP #1 LOVELESS #20 MADAME MIRAGE #3 MAGICIAN APPRENTICE #10 (OF 12) MARVEL ADVENTURES IRON MAN #6 MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #2 MARVEL ILLUSTRATED MAN IN THE IRON MASK #4 (OF 6) MARVEL SPOTLIGHT MARVEL ZOMBIES METAL GEAR SOLID SONS OF LIBERTY #12 MOON KNIGHT #13 CWI NEOZOIC #1 PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #116 POTTERS FIELD #2 (OF 3) PROOF #1 PVP #35 (NOTE PRICE) RAMAYAN 3392 AD RELOADED #2 KANG CVR ROBIN #167 SAVAGE TALES #4 SCOOBY DOO #125 SHE-HULK 2 #22 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #181 STAR WARS DARK TIMES #6 STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC #21 STREETS OF GLORY #2 (OF 6) SUPERMAN #669 SUPERMAN BATMAN #41 TALES OF THE SINESTRO CORPS SUPERMAN PRIME #1 TEEN TITANS #52 THUNDERBOLTS #117 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #115 UNCLE SAM AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS #2 (OF 8) VELOCITY PILOT SEASON #1 WALKING DEAD #43 WARHAMMER 40K BLOOD & THUNDER CVR A #1 (OF 4) WARHAMMER FORGE OF WAR CVR A #4 (OF 6) WETWORKS #14 WHAT IF PLANET HULK WITCHBLADE #110 WITCHBLADE SHADES OF GRAY #3 (OF 4) (RES) X-MEN #204 X-MEN DIE BY THE SWORD #2 (OF 5) X-MEN FIRST CLASS VOL 2 #5

Books / Mags / Stuff 3 MINUTE SKETCHBOOK TP ALTER EGO #73 AVENGERS ASSEMBLE VOL 5 HC BASIL WOLVERTON AGONY AND ECSTASY TP BLACK PANTHER FOUR HARD WAY TP BLACK SUMMER ALPHA (PP #785) CHRONICLES OF CONAN VOL 13 WHISPERING SHADOWS TP CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG #20 BLACK CAT CLASSIC MARVEL FIGURINE COLL MAG #50 HAWKEYE CONAN AND THE MIDNIGHT GOD TP JACK OF FABLES VOL 2 JACK OF HEARTS TP JUSTICE LEAGUE ELITE VOL 2 TP JUXTAPOZ NOV 2007 VOL 14 #11 MARVEL ZOMBIES COVERS HC PICTURES OF YOU GN PREVIEWS VOL XVII #11 (NET) RED MENACE TP SERENITY HC THOSE LEFT BEHIND SFX #162 SHE-HULK VOL 5 PLANET WITHOUT A HULK TP SPIRIT VOL 1 HC TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #159 WAY OF THE RAT VOL 3 HAUNTED ZHUMAR TP WINSOR MCCAY VOL 9 EARLY WORKS TP X-FACTOR VOL 3 MANY LIVES OF MADROX TP

ASSHAT OF THE WEEK: it's not the latest book on the list, no, but Achaia earns my wrath this week for shipping TWO issues of THE KILLER this week. I really like the book, too, but there's no surer way to convince people not to buy it than ship both in a week. Not even Kirkman is THAT annoying, damn it.

If you didn't already see the link somewhere else, my latest TILTING AT WINDMILLS is up right here. This one seems to have started some fights!

As always: What looks good to YOU?

-B

When is Self-Promotion Not Self-Promotion? Jeff and the Second Season of Sam & Max.

I am appallingly bad at self-promotion--saying something that sounds even remotely boastful makes me feel like an utter a-hole. 

Accordingly, I suppose I should feel grateful for the circumstances surrounding the first episode of Sam & Max's second season, Ice Station Santa, premiering on Gametap just a few weeks from now: I worked on the dialogues for the first episode (along with the talented and terrifyingly young Ian Dallas) but can't honestly tell you how much of my material made it in. Telltale has released three gameplay videos, excerpts of scenes for which I did the early drafts, and the percentage of the material I recognize as mine runs anywhere from 30% to 80%. For a panoply of reasons, this second gig was a lot harder than my first, and I was pretty sure when my contract was finished that stuff would end up rewritten. (Hey, that's the freelancer life for ya...)

So even if I was capable of exhorting people who enjoy my writing to check out Ice Station Santa, I'm not sure it would be entirely cricket for me to do so. However, there are a variety of non-me reasons to be excited about Season 2 of Sam & Max if you're a fan of the characters.

First, while working on the first episode of Season Two I had the opportunity to see some of the projected plans for the other episodes, and I think Telltale has done a great job of coming up with stories and locations for this season that nail that crazy Steve Purcellian sweet spot Sam & Max fans crave.

Second, Telltale brought Chuck Jordan on full-time and I believe he's doing the bulk of the dialogues for the second season. The man's work on Season One's Abraham Lincoln Must Die! really knocked me on my ass, and I'm totally in awe of him. As a fan, I couldn't have hoped for better news.

Third, Gametap is currently offering the above-mentioned episode on their free player. I think I read somewhere that Telltale may be following suit, but for now this is a great way for you to see what I'm talking about without having to pay out any cash.

Fourth, Gametap may or may not be still having an anniversary sale, making it super-cheap to sign up for the service for a year and play not just Sam & Max episodes as they're released, but a slew of other great games. Sadly, the site is so damn slow on my work browser I can't tell you for sure if the sale's still going, but I can say that any service that allows me to play the Atari 2600 version of Adventure, Sonic The Hedgehog, Super Puzzle Fighter, Sega's Typing of the Dead, and the Sam & Max games on any computer in my home is worth it even at the non-sale price. But go poke around their site if you get a chance and see if it's still going on.

And, finally, I did write some funny lines for Ice Station Santa--funny enough that even a low-self-esteemer like me feels confident they made it in--and the episode has a great, high-concept premise which it looks like the Telltale crew did a great job of developing visually. Regardless of my role in it, I hope fans of the characters check out this series if they haven't already.

Picture Book: Graeme considers timeliness, avenging from 10/17

Is it completely shitty and cheap to make some kind of "MIGHTY AVENGERS #5? I didn't know they still published that book!" joke? I mean, okay, it's been three months since the release of the last issue - which was itself a month late - but does that excuse making such a lazy joke about a late book?

Of course, things would be different if there was anything about the book that excused such a delay, such as it being, you know, good. I think that's the oddest thing about the delays in publishing for this particular title, because you can't really see where the hold-up is. Frank Cho's art is nice enough - his dismissive Hank Pym is particularly enjoyable - but it's not the excessively detailed kind of work that you look at and think, "Well, I can see how much time that must've taken." A lot of the panels lack backgrounds - or, at least, backgrounds from linework; colorist Jason Keith should be congratulated for his contribution to the book - and the panel design is simple enough (and, in some cases, faulty enough; the page where the Sentry crashes through multiple walls, it's odd that he doesn't also move left to right on the page as he does so, surely?) that there's the impression that Cho is an artist who worries about his figurework so much that it slows him to a crawl... An impression backed up, in part, by the lack of kineticism of the artwork; it's pretty, but all so damn static.

The lack of energy is felt even moreso because of the lightness of Brian Bendis's script, which obviously was intended as an all-out action blockbuster, with scenes of punching and missile hi-jacking and people shouting. The problem with that is that, when the art fails to convey that energy, there's not enough in the writing to save the book from being dull. Ironically for a Bendis book, a wordier script might've helped things.

The worst thing is, if this book had managed to keep to a monthly schedule, the Eh quality of the issue might not really feel like such a big deal. Sure, it'd be a letdown, but you'd only have another month until everything moved on, and how much can you expect with only four weeks to create a book and so on... We've still got an issue to go before we see how this Ultron storyline finishes, even though New Avengers is already crossing over with the follow-up storyline, and Illuminati is being withheld because MA #6 has to precede it. It's the Civil War delays again, on a smaller scale; when you have Bendis saying on a podcast that "so much" is being held up because this book is so off-schedule, and the book itself is suffering so much because of the delays, and the reason behind the delays, you have to wonder whether the idea that keeping a consistent team for the trade is the thing is really worth screwing up other schedules for.

Tigra would be jealous: Graeme gets brave, and bold, from 10/17.

As the most open fan of all-female wrestling in the world of comic professionals, somehow you just know that George Perez didn't need to have his arm twisted in order to draw THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #7, which has a high concept straight from Chris Claremont in his prime: Power Girl is possessed and Wonder Woman has to fight her! Thankfully for the readers, Perez manages to stay away from outright exploitation in his artwork, and Mark Waid takes that high concept and uses it to build an exciting, non-pandering, oneshot.

Just as in the previous issues of this series, Waid's writing is pretty much a masterclass in superhero writing. Ignoring the pitch-perfect four-page opening to this issue, which manages to set up the odd-couple character conflict as well as the central mystery for the story without coming across as expositionary-heavy, despite two of those four pages being full-page splashes (and one of them being silent, with the exception of the titles and credits) - a pretty good trick in and of itself - it's impressive to see the way in which Waid uses the action to further character, and vice versa, with the villain conflict acting as a McGuffin for a character study while still being both involving and entertaining in its own right. In addition, both his pace and pitch are perfect; we're thrown in at the start of a battle that doesn't get explained, and the climax of the main story is followed up by Waid winking to the audience through Superman, who more or less admits that these bad guys always come and back and no-one should really think too much about these kind of things anyway.

(He also throws in an unexpected epilogue, bridging to the next issue and tying back to the previous one, suggesting that there might be a grander scheme to these stories than initially suggested. I wonder if that's just a trick to make people keep picking up the book, or whether there's more going on than the readers know about...)

As for Perez, he rises to the occasion - and now I see the possible innuendo in there, which wasn't intended - with work that's restrained in its portrayal of its heroines (Although I wonder how much of that credit can go to the coloring of Tom Smith, who also does a great job) and dynamic in every other respect. Okay, Power Girl's boots have heels, but still. It doesn't stop this being a straight-forwardly enjoyable Very Good book that you hope wannabe superhero creators are reading and learning from.

The Sword is Drawn. And Written: Graeme isn't impressed by this 10/17 book.

After finishing THE SWORD #1, there was something about it that I couldn't quite put my finger on it. At first, I thought that it was something to do with the general feeling of unease I get from the Luna brothers for reasons, I admit, that I can't really explain (It's got something to do with the "girls are weird other" vibe that I got from Girls, I think, but I couldn't tell you what, exactly); it definitely wasn't that the book had particularly impressed me or disappointed me more than I'd expected, because there was nothing about this that was anything more than Eh. But, still, there was something that made the book stick in my head.

And then, out of nowhere, while I was making my disappointing Trader Joe's feta-cheese-and-onion-somekindofpastries snack for lunch, it came to me.

The Sword is a NBC drama.

I'm not sure why I'm so convinced that it'd be an NBC show in particular - It shares the same sense of familiarity and lack of ambition that something like The Bionic Woman does (or even Heroes, for that matter, as much as I enjoy it), true, but there's something more to it that that. You can almost imagine the deep voiceover in the trailer: "What would you do... If you lost everything... But had the chance for revenge? The Sword, Mondays at 8pm on NBC this fall." But there is something uniquely television-budget about that way that it quickly (and somewhat carelessly) sets up a family/domestic dynamic that lacks warmth or individuality but projects enough familiarity for you to buy into it, before introducing a vague and mysterious threat who not only shake up, but destroy, the status quo and give both cheap emotional motivation to the protagonist and an out to lazy writers who didn't want to deal with the ties that would come with having the protagonist's family sticking around.

It's all done well enough, and fast enough, to keep your attention, but there's no heart there, nothing to really care about or engage your brain. It's something that you'd watch - or read - if there's nothing else to do and it's available, but as something for people to pay $2.99 for? I can't see the attraction.

The Weird Superheroes of 10/17: Jog put the date on the other side of the colon this time (and more hi-jinx to follow)

Last night I had a dream that I was reading Dirk Deppey's blog, and he had a really great turn of phrase involving cats. I can't remember what it was. Shit, I can always use a good cats phrase...

The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite #2 (of 6): The best and most telling part of this issue is when "00.05," the time-traveling fifth member of the titular superhero family who's gone way into the future and grown old trying to figure out a way back, suddenly hears the answer to the time-travel formula from a statue he's had a crush on (no real women left alive, you see), only to dump her and zap back to his youth. It's a funny sequence, but not really because writer Gerard Way plays the dialogue as particularly absurd. It's artist Gabriel Bá that's trusted to make the old man's face beam with comedic glee, and to leave the discarded statue in just the right pose.

I'm not saying Way doesn't stumble a bit -- I could have done without the newspaper headline screaming "IT'S A PERFECT DAY" amidst the ruins of civilization (although hell, maybe that was Bá too) -- but there's a sort of trust at work here between words and visuals that isn't always seen in superhero comics. It keeps the book smooth and pleasing, even as it rumbles over some familiar territory, sedately observing the stolid team leader and the rebel hothead getting into a fight, and scanning the usual frayed superhero-team-as-family bonds.

Nice particulars, though. I like that the team (gathered to pay 'respects' to their dead father/mentor) is so comprehensively lacking in control over their lives that even their reforming is dictated to them by outside forces. The notion of a song so perfectly calibrated that it destroys the world is a decent one, decent enough to overcome the old 'rejected teammate tempted by evil' scenario. Nate Piekos' lettering is really swell.

I trust things will get odder, but if all straightforward superhero comics were GOOD in this way, I'd read them too.

The Programme #4 (of 12): Now, here's a series that keeps threatening to get really good. The premise -- contemporary shades-of-gray world conflicts are brushed aside when forgotten US and USSR superhumans wake up for an old-timey clash between superpowers -- is very sturdy. Writer Peter Milligan has some good bits in this issue involving an American superhuman who thinks he's Senator Joseph McCarthy, mumbling about Communists before blasting a supporting character's arm off with his laser beam eyes. That's good readin'!

However, most of this issue is actually about some uninteresting fellow in the gulag who's scared of being raped, and reminisces about how Stalin's Russia was full of nondescript danger and intrigue. Then he's freed instead of raped, which is fortunate for him. I do still like the names of the Soviet superheroes (REVOLUTION! STALINGRAD!), but that's all this chapter has going for it in terms of script.

C.P. Smith's art continues to frustrate, in that it's sometimes striking, like in the panel with the exploding arm (colorist Jonny Rench helps a lot), but sometimes awkward - I can tell what's happening in panels 4 and 5 on page 2, but I don't believe it. Further, his shadowed characters have a way of looking alike when given similar hairstyles and accessories, which makes the parts of this issue involving two men with glasses and short haircuts rough navigating, even though one of them is shot before they start looking alike.

Still, that last page? Sen. Joe "Optic Blast" McCarthy (R-WI) preparing to deliver an important message about America to a recalcitrant fellow superhero... possibly with his fists? I keep thinking the EH will stop, and I want to be proven right.

Abhay Thinks Reviewing Comic Books is Really Just a Bad Idea, Period

This is a negative review of Cry Yourself to Sleep, a comic book created by Jeremy Tinder, published by Top Shelf Productions in Augt 6, and received with near unanimous critical acclaim by a comic audience that apparently doesn’t want to “make people feel bad.” Newsarama: “A tiny gem.” Some blog: “required reading for all 20-something girls who are interested in finding out what really lurks in the hearts of their male counterparts.” Some other blog: "easily confuseable for [autobiography].” Everybody has a blog: “Tinder has successfully delivered a graphic novel that makes some readers look back at their youth and some readers to observe what they may face as young adults.” Bloggity-schmog: “Not only does he present readers with a humorous tale, he also deals with very real issues in his narrative.” Schmogoly-bloggity-shmoh: “ultimately it’s a story of promise and comfort.”

Here is the absolute, bar-none, most brutally negative review I could find, courtesy of none other than Savage Critic Mr. Jog Blog: “There’s not all that much to say about it, save that it’s gently humorous, in possession of some attractive visual flourish, not entirely well strung-together, and suggesting of good things in the author’s near-future.”

...

So, now I have to be the bad guy? Really?

Why does that—where did I sign up for that? I want to be the good guy. I want to be loved. I don’t want to be the bad guy. I have at least once or twice took some pleasure in writing a bad review-- so stipulated. But goddammit, I'm a human being, and sometimes I feel guilty or sometimes I feel bad or sometimes I worry about my karma or sometimes I want to buy a Laz-E-Boy that I nickname "The Sex-E-Boy” or sometimes I think babies are plotting against me.

I don’t want to “make people feel bad.”

But here’s my argument: Jeremy Tinder should feel bad because he made a bad comic book.

He should feel good if he made a good comic, and bad if he made a bad one. If you have a pet dog, and the dog shits on your carpet, you don’t give it steak sandwich. Why? Because you don’t want dogshit all over your carpets. Ipso facto. Quo vadis.

A tiny gem, Newsarama? That gem is pyrite! Oh, your head gets all confused and you think maybe the comic is autobiographical? The comic book is about a talking bunny rabbit! Lies! Lies, all lies! Artists are not legally or biologically speaking children; what that means: you can quit coddling them. If you’ll allow me to paraphrase MAJOR PAYNE: THE MOTION PICTURE, you have to slap your titty out of the boy’s mouth.

There’s no shame to making a bad comic book. Jeremy Tinder shouldn’t feel ashamed. Most people make bad comic books. Even great comic creators make bad comic books, sometimes. As bad comics go, I’ve certainly read worse.

But dude… come on, dude:

The dedication page is a picture of a bunny rabbit in an apron and the page says "For My Mom and Dad."

The page is presented unironically.

The story, with a SPOILER WARNING: three roommates (a loser, a shitty robot, and that goddamned bunny rabbit) cry themselves to sleep because of how unfulfilling life is (deep!). They embark on boring little side adventures. Then, the loser regains his confidence, and at that precise moment, a young girl approaches him, presumably in order to be his girlfriend; the rabbit suffers "spinal damage" but is HAPPY about it because he gets worker’s comp; the robot becomes happy for some boring reason not even worth explaining. The end!

If you’re mistaking this comic book for autobiography, you need to start talking to actual human beings.

Live! Experience! Take drugs! You! Me! Dancing!

This comic book is not about anything resembling real people. The term you’re groping for is “hipster wish-fulfillment fantasies”.

Are you a “20-something girl” who’s interested in finding out what “really lurks” in the heart of your boyfriend? If so, allow me to explain and save you having to read this comic book: your boyfriend is bored of looking at the back of your head when you have sex, and prays every night that you were someone, anyone else, not because you’re not pretty but just to relieve the overwhelming, all-consuming boredom. You’re welcome.

As for this “it’ll tell you what it’s like if you’re 20” nonsense—that’s just offensive to me. I’m offended by that. This is a comic that invites the reader to imagine that in their early 20’s, they were like an innocent little bunny rabbit that the world didn’t understand. Because, boo hoo, you were different. Oh! Oh, boo hoo for you! Boo hoo for how sensitive and precious you were in your early 20’s. When will people see your inner bunny rabbit?

Fucking horseshit!!

Cut the crap: is that what your early 20’s were like or what you want to think they were like? I don’t think this comic is about depicting anyone’s early adulthood. It’s an invitation for the reader to flatter themselves. The only talent that shows is a talent for lying to the audience. That’s not to be encouraged.

Techniquewise, we could find some praise for the art, maybe. There’s certainly the promise of future growth—I’d never deny that. He draws a pleasing bunny rabbit.

But he also tries to obscure weak drawings and weak compositions behind an oppressive and haphazardly applied grey tone; he’s weak on backgrounds; and storytelling… he has one big move, which is to drop out the backgrounds on a “dramatic” moment. Unfortunately, because he does it on the most overwrought, overly sentimental scenes possible, the effect is more ridiculous and hilarious than dramatic. Also, because he overuses it since it’s his one big move—sometimes he winds up using it for moments that are boring instead of dramatic.

There’s one okay moment in this comic book, involving a little kid using a fake moustache in order to pretend to be a grown-up and score some porn. It’s cute; sort of a weakly funny gag. Is it enough to warrant a 100% Rotten Tomato rating? No. It’s not. It’s a nice moment in a comic otherwise of minimal merit.

Hey, I like some things that other people are sure to hate. I’m completely fucking obsessed with Stevie Might be a Bear, Maybe. I think that’s one of the greatest things, like, ever, even if I realize that it overuses the word “retard” for its humor. You don’t have to go along with me on that one. Or I liked 1-800 Mice #2, which is a bunch of surreal crazy shit with a much less commercial art style and some comedy bits that are more weird than funny. Civil War? Thought it worked out great.

So I can’t blame people for liking this book despite its flaws, or the fact this book struck a chord with all those other people despite its flaws. Or I’m not suggesting to you that I’m “right” and they’re “wrong.” Maybe this book is really great and I’m dead on the inside. There's plenty of evidence for that. Oh my god!

And I get that, you know— Jeremy Tinder’s a young cartoonist who deserve our gentle encouragement. Hey, Mr. Tinder—I didn’t like your comic at all, but I gently encourage you in your struggle to improve. But to me, that’s just the point. What I suggest to you is the following:

Jeremy Tinder and Top Shelf released a book just this month called Black Ghost Apple Factory. Daily Crosshatch says: “an underground cartoonist who is at the top of his game.” Playback:stl says “frequently laugh-out-loud funny.” The Comics Collective: “a recommended pick-up for its whimsical art and its personal, emo-touched tales.” Indie-pulp: “These stories are full of whimsy and cuteness (like the apple-production method in the title story), but those aspects mask some really poignant observances about life and personal relationships.”

And so on and so on and so on.

What I suggest to you is: I have absolutely no reason to believe any of that is true. And that should be discouraging for Mr. Tinder, for you, for me, for those reviewers, for everybody.

Time for the Fifth World, I guess: Graeme on the Death of The New Gods, 10/17.

To add particular insult to my injury of admitting that Rick Veitch’s Army@Love isn’t necessarily for me, I should also put my hand up right now and admit that I don’t really get Jim Starlin, either. I’m too young and too sober for his 1970s cosmic stuff like Warlock or Captain Marvel, and his DC work in the ‘80s left me somewhat cold. By the time he was back on the Thanos horse on Marvel in the early 90s, being Infinite before Dan Didio even had the idea of redoing the 1980s forever. I’m also a pretty big fan of Jack Kirby’s Fourth World books – the “remastered” Hunger Dogs announced for the fourth hardcover collection pretty much guarantees that I’ll end up buying the whole set, those bastards – so it’s fair to say that the idea of Jim Starlin writing and drawing a miniseries where the entire point is to kill the characters from those books was something that didn’t fill me with much anticipation.

(Partially, it’s because of the lack of need to kill them off. Yes, they’ve become somewhat devalued characters through misuse over the years, but the answer to that is to let them lie fallow for a few years, and then give them to the right creative team; can’t you imagine a Grant Morrison and Ladronn mini-series about them, for example? Who wouldn’t want to read that? As much as I don’t want to make massive DC-wide generalizations, there really seems to be a “We don’t know what to do with them, so we’ll kill them, that always gets readers talking” thing going on there over the last few years…)

Despite all of the above, though, THE DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #1 isn’t that bad. The art lacks the power or bold design elements of Kirby (which isn’t to say that only Kirby can bring that to the characters – Mignola and Simonson have both managed to revise that aesthetic while staying true to their own styles in the past), sure, but the writing manages to be an enjoyably grandiose take on the concept. It helps that Starlin’s at least doing more than just following through on the title of the book – although two big name (well, for the Fourth World) characters die in this opening issue – adding the involvement of the Forever People to the mystery of just who is killing everyone off.

You can tell that it’s a Countdown tie-in even before Jimmy Olsen pops up to investigate the deaths (which seems fitting, considering it was his book that stealth-launched the Fourth World way back when); there’s a strange, unspoken, underlying feeling that a lot of the backstory here is just meant to be understood already by the readers, with characters and concepts not really introduced as much as just pushed on stage and left to get on with it. But that said, it’s surprisingly enjoyable, if enjoyably unsurprising, and one of the few Good things to have come out of Countdown to date.

Graeme runs with the dogs tonight in Suburbia(n Glamour): 10/17 begins.

When I was back at home while on vacation, I had the misfortune of hearing the new Manic Street Preachers single, "Wintersong," which is a pretty embarrassing proposition - Three middle-age men writing and playing a song where the entire point is "You're young and beautiful, youth of the world, stay crazy," in this slow, faux-epic manner that the Manics use. Hearing it was a strange experience; it sounds like a parody of the Manics, and came across (at least, to me; I'm sure this'll get commentary from hardcore Manics fans who're very, very upset that I don't get their true majesty or whatever; sorry) as this desperate attempt to reach out to an audience that they know nothing about anymore. When middle-age spread has reached you, please don't try and tell The Kids how awesome they are anymore, you know?

All of which is a preamble to telling you that Jamie McKelvie's SUBURBAN GLAMOUR #1 is a great comic. I have no real idea about his age or his feelings about the new Manics single, but one of the reasons that this book worked so well for me is that it comes across as totally genuine and forced in the details of the teenaged main characters - the need and attempt to be both themselves and unusual in a town where nothing happens, and how that manifests in their parties, their conversations, their lives. With so much of the first issue taking place without the fantastical elements that will no doubt comprise the bulk of the series overall, you're given enough time to get to know the characters in relation to each other, as opposed to in relation to magic and fairies and things that you could never relate to; a good point of comparison would be Mike Carey and John Bolton's God Save The Queen graphic novel, which attempted a similar story with much less successful results, because it seemed so less true and honest than this does.

It helps that McKelvie's script is as funny as it is, making even the somewhat predictable (at this point, at least, but that maybe because the pre-release interviews, etc., gave this much away) plot enjoyable to read nonetheless. His art, too, has moved on from when it appeared in Phonogram to become looser, more cartoonily emotional (in a good way); it's also helped significantly by Guy Major's colors, which play an important part in bringing it to life.

This comic isn't for everyone; it may even just be for people who grew up in small towns with a sense of "There's got to be more than this." But as one of those people, and as someone who picked up this week's books looking for something unexpected and upbeat, I have to tell you that I thought this was really Very Good.

One Shot In: Jog on a comic from 10/10 now that 10/17 is tomorrow

I got stuck in traffic today while I was driving home from work. Since I was going nowhere I started looking around me, and I noticed movement from car ahead of me. The man behind the wheel was rocking out to some song. Head bobbing, arms flailing, fists pounding on the wheel... the works. It was great! I was transfixed! But suddenly, he started glancing into his mirror, and I think he noticed me looking at him. And he stopped moving. I think he felt self-conscious about the rock.

So, if you're somehow reading this, guy in the vehicle in front of me at 5:20 PM... I'm sorry. I didn't want you to stop rocking.

Never stop rocking.

The Punisher MAX #51: I loved the bit with the doctor this issue (the second part of the current storyline). And not just because artist Goran Parlov gives him a kind of Kevin Nowlan scowl, but because the whole sequence, one of those 'character is so legendary, the legend alone saves him from trouble' bits, is the sort of thing you can only get away with if you've really built that legend.

Garth Ennis gets away easy; his writing on the series is supremely confident at this point, smacking a desperate fight sequence around between action and aftermath so the reader feels the title character's frustration, and deftly stretching his themes in quiet ways - do note how Frank's observation of O'Brien's sister ("The face I knew, without the mileage.") evokes the fantasy sequence from last issue. Frank's out to save a special person, but Ennis hints that he's really trying to preserve an imagined alternate life, where things were better.

It's one of the 'big picture' storylines that sometimes crop up in this series, playing heavily off of past 'small picture' stories, with various returning characters. Not a good place to jump on, but I like how they reinforce Ennis' downbeat tone, with good people saved, only to later die, and bad folk trying again until they're dead too; I'd have never guessed de facto archvillain Barracuda could be so versatile without actually changing. Everyone is going to hell in this world, but some will get there quicker than others.

A VERY GOOD issue, juggling the usual near-exploitation cruelty (injury to infants!) and comedy (love that cop's lazy eye!), while benefiting richly from the presence of the inspired Parlov. That panel of the bleeding kid sitting around dazed while a horrible beating goes down behind her says plenty on its own.

Clap your hands: Graeme finishes up 10/10.

It's the end of the longest comic week in history! Or, perhaps, just me trying to readjust to non-vacation life and failing. U, as they say, Decide. Anyway, shall we get the rest of this week's books out the way quickly?

BOOSTER GOLD #3: I'm back to the Dan Jurgens distaste again, although in fairness, I think it may be laziness on inker Norm Rapmund's part that's making me feel as if a better artist would've brought something more to this admittedly throwaway, Okay issue. It's a fine enough story, although for the second issue in a row, trading a little too much on the fanboy factor instead of trying to be entertaining/funny in its own right. But then again, I'm a pretty big DC fanboy and it didn't really work for me, either... The story seemed imbalanced, with the Jonah Hex element taking too long in arriving and not really amounting to anything once it had arrived. A third issue that already feels like filler? That's not the greatest sign... Here's hoping that next issue's All-Flash will be More Fun Comics.

COUNTDOWN #29: Bri handed me this issue, pointing out that it'd be a test - Having missed the last couple of issues, does this book move so slowly that I could pick up this issue and feel as if I hadn't missed anything? Sadly, the answer was pretty much yes. Sure, the characters were in different locations, but none of their stories had really moved on that far at all. We're only three issues away from the relaunch of the series - including the new title, letting us know just what we're counting down to - and it still feels as if this series hasn't really gotten going yet. Eh, and sadly making me less interested in Final Crisis as it goes on.

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #24: "Attention True Believer! If you should read but one comic this decade, THIS ONE'S IT!" screams just one of the blurbs on the cover but, as Hibbs pointed out, it's the second part of a four-part story. If this really were the only comic you read this decade, you'd really feel that you'd chosen badly. Reminiscent more than anything of that issue in Peter David's Hulk run more than a decade ago where Rick Jones is told by Doctor Strange that he couldn't bring Marlo back to life - Am I dating myself by admitting that? - the only interest that this comic really offers is the growing strangeness of Joe Quesada's artwork, which offers moments of worthiness amongst the overly-rendered, badly-staged awkwardness. Kind of sad that this is the last issue of the series and that that's mentioned nowhere in the issue at all, as well. Eh and then some.

GREEN LANTERN #24: As we near the end of the big summer event - fittingly, considering we've passed the end of the summer, and all - things begin to disappoint, as they always do. Parallax is defeated by the power of love and an old painting, and the big cosmic threats all arrive on Earth in rushed scenes that kind of reduce their threat, and Kyle Rayner gets new Green Lantern pants courtesy of Guy Gardner. It's not that surprising that the beginning of the end doesn't live up to the opening, but nonetheless, Good when it could've been better.

NOVA #7: A surprisingly similar resolution to Kyle Rayner's Parallax adventure seems oddly fitting for this Green Lantern rip-off, but it makes for an unsatisfying conclusion to this title's Annihilation: Conquest tie-in... That said, it does make me want to follow the main Annihilation title when it comes out, so I'm sure it succeeded in its purpose. That said, I'm still surprised how much I'm enjoying this title, even if it hasn't managed to have a non-crossover storyline yet. Good and I'm kind of wanting to check out the original Annihilation series now just to see if it sates my Cosmic Marvel jones.

PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #12: Ignoring the strange recasting of the Punisher as an outright superhero ("That's okay. I'll find him. I'm here to help" as he goes to find a missing cat? Really?), the main thing I took away from this issue was how the growing digital production of comics these days can just take away the joy of the cheaply-produced unpretentious shitty fun of the old ones. Matt Fraction's script, rough and ready and coming with Jaws references, seems at odds with Ariel Olivetti's artwork and (weirdly, especially) the lettering for the alien's narration. Gimme something scrappier and messy, for the love of God. And stop making the Punisher into a superhero, while you're at it. Okay.

TANK GIRL: THE GIFTING #4: Whoever Rufus Dayglo is, he clearly has eaten Jamie Hewlett's work in the past to put out such a close facsimile as the work here - That said, I wish there was more of Ash Wood's rougher, more individual look in his finishes, especially on the illustrations for the poetry pieces. It's funny to see those pieces, as well; reminiscent of the way that Alan Martin's original Tank Girl writing for Deadline shifted away from the frenetic comic strips the longer he went on. Overall, this series hasn't really worked - the pop writing being at odds with the presentation and price point, stripped of the articles about random indie bands and printed on cardstock - but it's been an interesting failure. I'd love to see Martin do something brand new with IDW, and leave this Okay work in the past.

X-MEN: DIE BY THE SWORD #1: In which no X-Men appear (well, former X-Men, sure; three of them from the same era of the team, which just so happened to be the point where I dropped the book, way back when), and nobody dies by any sword. Whatever happened to truth in advertising, I ask you? Hampered by a dull artist and rusty dialogue, Chris Claremont's story has some interesting ideas leading up to his Exiles relaunch; it's a shame that most of them are stolen from Alan Moore's Captain Britain run from twenty years ago. Okay, guiltily, nonetheless, however.

Yeah, I know. When a Chris Claremont book gets an Okay, it either means that I've lost my mind, or have recently read an Essential X-Men and have warm, fuzzy, nostalgic feelings for the franchise I loved so much as a child. My bet's on the former. But what did you think of the week that was, dear readers?

Through early morning fog I see: Graeme looks @Love.

While reading it, I was trying to work out just what it was about ARMY@LOVE: THE HOT ZONE that made me feel as if it was the work of the 1970s, instead of contemporary times. Just what was it that made me think that it belonged to an era of M*A*S*H and Kurt Vonnegut and Terry Southern (As much as I am fans of them all? Well, maybe not a massive fan of M*A*S*H, but once Radar left, it was all downhill for me)? And then I got to the scene where a hippie directs a missile strike by playing his guitar in a suitably virtuoso manner, and I thought, well, yeah. It's that kind of thing.

Not that Rick Veitch doesn't try and make it seem more of the moment. Everyone has cell-phones, after all, and there are allusions to contemporary military scandals. But overall, it's not only the storytelling - Veitch's artwork, especially with the inking from Gary Erskine (who kind of brought a similar effect to Chris Weston's art in The Filth, way back when), flashes back to 1960s and '70s comics in linework and the slight inhumanity of its characters - but the subjects of the story that feel as if they're from thirty years ago. Extramarital affairs and finding black humor in both corporate America and the horror of war feels like something that would've had the housewifes and headshops of the past chattering, especially with the sensationalistic treatment that they're given in this book. Shakedown 1979 indeed.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, of course; sure, this book is more "Britannia Hospital" than "O, Lucky Man", but I couldn't quite shake the feeling that a younger writer wouldn't have been able to write a war satire book with as much heart as this, thanks to a surplus of defensive irony or desire for distance (Is that a blanket statement akin to the "all young'uns can't write stories these days" charge against Heidi? Sorry). I'm somewhat surprised by the amount of excited pull-quotes on the (nicely-designed) covers - This really doesn't seem much better than just Okay to me, to be honest - but there's something to this book, as dated and Alan Alda-friendly as it may be.

Mutatis Mutandis: Diana Talks About X-Books, 10/10

With the recent release of X-FACTOR #24, all X-books participating in the upcoming "Messiah Complex" crossover have now wrapped up their pre-existing storylines (with the possible exception of NEW X-MEN, which began a new two-parter last month). I thought this would be a proper time to look at where the line might be headed, and where it's been - as most of you probably know, this is hardly the first time this particular franchise has been revamped. What can we expect of the post-"Messiah Complex" status quo? Officially, the last X-Men relaunch was May 2004's "Reload". Grant Morrison had left NEW X-MEN, and whether you agreed with his creative decisions or not, there's no question that he had set the agenda for the entire line - everyone from Chuck Austen to Grandpa X himself (Claremont) were taking cues from Morrison's series. His departure seemed to send editor Mike Marts and company into a crazed tailspin, because some pretty embarrassing fubars started emerging across the line (The Xorn Identity arguably being the most deserving of the Sarah Silverman Award for Most Egregarious Failure To Amuse).

In hindsight, I think that "Reload" is best defined by two key aspects. First, there was a serious downgrade in the talent pool: what actually happened when Morrison left was not so much a relaunch but an extended round of musical chairs. Claremont replaced Austen, Austen replaced Claremont. Obviously, their respective books were transformed accordingly - suddenly UNCANNY X-MEN was all about Psylocke, Savior of the Universe, while X-MEN degenerated into a sex-obsessed nightmare soap opera (I leave the driving of the coffin nails to a greater critic than I). Now, in fairness, we did get Joss Whedon out of the deal, and he did hit the ground running, but I think that, even in those early months of his run, ASTONISHING X-MEN was perceived less as part of a line and more as an individual entity, neither incorporating nor dictating plot elements. What this meant, ultimately, was that ASTONISHING X-MEN, UNCANNY X-MEN and X-MEN were all pretty much doing their own thing, with little correlation between the series. Now, some people saw this as a positive thing (myself included): why, we reasoned, would we want to see Joss Whedon saddled with the fallout of Claremont's weird BDSM fetish? Or, conversely, could we trust Chuck Austen to do justice to Cassandra Nova? Probably not.

And while all this was going on in the core books, the satellite titles weren't doing so well either: Judd Winick had jumped to DC a year earlier, but "Reload" marked the end of his pre-written scripts for EXILES. Fans of the series suffered through a six-month Chuck Austen interrim before Tony Bedard was assigned the book. Unfortunately, while Bedard had some clever plot concepts, his run never quite gelled with Winick's character-centric approach (and EXILES has the distinction of being the very last Winick book to not just be readable but consistently good). Meanwhile, NEW MUTANTS was cancelled and relaunched as NEW X-MEN: ACADEMY X, with the same characters and the same writing team of Nunzio DeFilippis and Christina Weir; Chris Claremont's EXCALIBUR was pretty much like every Claremont book, pointless and stilted (I still snort at the thought of Patrick Stewart screaming "That so totally hurts!"). Ironically, for a line that centers itself on themes of change and evolution, not much was different once the dust settled.

Which leads me to the second notable aspect of "Reload": the kitchen-sink mentality. As the core books and pre-existing satellite series were working themselves out (or not, in some cases), Marvel unleashed over half a dozen solo books (and miniseries beyond count), such as ROGUE, JUBILEE, NIGHTCRAWLER, DISTRICT X and GAMBIT. Not one of them lasted beyond twelve issues. It's not that they were all terrible, really... they just failed to make a positive (or lasting) impression.

Judged by those standards, I suppose "Reload" can be considered a failure: Peter Milligan's replacement of Chuck Austen only led to mediocrity of a different sort, as the former X-STATIX writer phoned it in like an American Idol fan voting for Sanjaya. None of the "new" books, save ASTONISHING X-MEN, sold respectably on the direct market; nothing particularly inspiring emerged from it; and the X-Men were still in this quasi-fugue state where nobody - readers, writers, artists, editors and even the characters themselves - had any idea what was going on.

But while "Reload" may have been the latest official revamp, the line underwent another creative shakeup last year, ostensibly a delayed response to HOUSE OF M: Ed Brubaker replaced Chris Claremont on UNCANNY X-MEN, booting the latter to the fringes of the franchise, where he can play out his domination fantasies to his heart's content. Mike Carey took over X-MEN, bringing a decidedly unorthodox approach to the construction of his team and the characterization of said team members (the "villains as X-Men" angle has been used before, but I don't think it was ever as interesting as Carey's roster). At first, the three core books were still doing their own thing: Brubaker had a year-long space epic, Carey introduced some new and bizarre villains, and Whedon... well, Whedon's run is really just an echo at this stage, as it was meant to have been wrapped up a long time ago.

But once the new writers got settled in, something started to emerge: a larger storyline, spanning multiple books. Not the old-school style, where certain panels would have footnotes referring you to issues of different series for the rest of the tale, but... well, what we've had over the last six months or so are individual stories in each book that broadly deal with the same theme - the fallout from the Decimation. Granted, it's something that really should've been handled a while ago; part of the inconsistency in the previous configuration was that, since every writer did his own thing and nobody seemed to care about Wanda's magical hijinks, the whole Decimation thing was mostly just name-checked, except for Peter David's X-FACTOR (the only book to directly deal with Decimation-related themes). But now there's a tangible, visible connection between four books - X-FACTOR, UNCANNY X-MEN, X-MEN, and the well-meaning but painfully-miswritten NEW X-MEN - not just in terms of plot but in their shared depictions of the mutant world. Certain characters from one book make guest appearances in another not just to promote connectivity but also to further their own plotlines. I'd argue that this is the most cohesive the core books have been since the Nicieza/Lobdell run in the early '90s (which was really one book split into two monthly series).

In a sense, "Messiah Complex" is emerging almost as a sort of corrective for "Reload": we have an event that's genuinely story-oriented, in that it deals with the realistic fallout of an unrealistic event (personally, I'm finding the reprecussions far more interesting than HOUSE OF M itself, but that's a matter of preference). For once, this doesn't feel like some editorial mandate hammering round pegs into square holes. Structurally, there's a lot of parallelism between the books - fear of the future, the vulnerability of diminished mutants, etc. But more importantly, the participants in the crossover are proven talents, writers who've been responsible for some pretty engaging comics in recent years. It's a simple formula for success; kind of makes you wonder how nobody's figured that out with all the Civil Wars and Crises and such.

Part of why I'm feeling so optimistic about this relaunch also has to do with credibility. I'm at the point where I sort of tune out Quesada's blatherings about how everything Marvel puts out is rilly rilly kewl, but Ed Brubaker killed Captain America (sales stunt or not, it was a ballsy move that he hasn't yet squandered or undermined), and Mike Carey made the Devil sympathetic, and if they tell me "Messiah Complex" is first and foremost a good story, I believe them. Moreover, if they tell me "Messiah Complex" is going to really change things, I'm somewhat interested to see what happens next, all the moreso given the tidbits that have leaked out - EXILES is cancelled, NEW EXCALIBUR goes to Paul Cornell, Warren Ellis takes over ASTONISHING X-MEN... the emphasis, this time around, seems to be on finding suitable writers for the respective books (something tells me Cornell's Britishisms are going to be the tiniest bit more authentic than Claremont's). I can't stress enough how pleased I am at this development: it shows that the administration has indeed learned from past mistakes, and that can only be good for us as readers.

To reel this diatribe back to the relevant comic, X-FACTOR #24 and the Isolationist storyline is actually a perfect example of these positive aspects of "Messiah Complex": on the one hand, it does build on David's previous X-Factor plots (we now know that Josef Huber was foreshadowed months ago, the mysterious "Uber" mentioned by Detective Jamie), but on the other hand, the implications of the Decimation are never far from anyone's mind, and in fact, the Isolationist's plan emerges as a direct result of HOUSE OF M (albeit a delayed one). David has always been very good at threading crossover plotlines through his own work as seamlessly as possible, and that emerges here as well. The characters are dealing with their own issues, but also with the knowledge that their world - the mutant world - is at an end.

The one downside, perhaps, is that - like all the pre-"Messiah Complex" storylines - there's little closure at the arc's end, since it's all set-up for the big crossover (Carey's "Blinded By The Light" is especially guilty of this, as nothing gets resolved at the end of X-MEN #203). But I'm going to hazard a prediction that "Messiah Complex" will be The Crossover That Got It Right; quite possibly the first successful, well-written multi-series epic since "Age of Apocalypse".

Arriving 10/17/2007

Working on TILTING today, little time to pontificate... 30 DAYS OF NIGHT SOURCEBOOK ABYSS #1 (OF 4) AQUAMAN SWORD OF ATLANTIS #57 ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #183 ARMY @ LOVE #8 AVENGERS CLASSIC #5 AWAKENING #2 (OF 10) BATMAN STRIKES #38 BEOWULF #3 BIRDS OF PREY #111 BOYS #11 BRAVE AND THE BOLD #7 CAPTAIN AMERICA #31 CWI CAPTAIN AMERICA CHOSEN #3 (OF 6) CAPTAIN AMERICA CHOSEN 2ND PTG #1 (OF 6) CARTOON NETWORK ACTION PACK #18 CATWOMAN #72 CHECKMATE #19 CONAN #45 CORY DOCTOROWS FUTURISTIC TALES HERE AND NOW #1 (OF 6) COUNTDOWN 28 DEATH OF THE NEW GODS #1 (OF 8) DEVI #14 DMZ #24 ELEPHANTMEN #11 E-MAN DOLLY EX MACHINA #31 FABLES #66 GRIMM FAIRY TALES RETURN TO WONDERLAND #3 (OF 7) HIGHWAYMEN #5 (OF 5) INANNAS TEARS #2 (OF 5) JOHN WOOS SEVEN BROTHERS SERIES 2 #2 JUNGLE GIRL PX ED #2 JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #14 KILLING GIRL #3 (OF 5) KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #131 LAZARUS #1 (OF 3) MAD CLASSICS #19 MAD MAGAZINE #483 MARVEL ADVENTURES AVENGERS #17 MARVEL ADVENTURES FANTASTIC FOUR #29 MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS #2 MARVEL ILLUSTRATED TREASURE ISLAND #5 (OF 6) MARVEL ZOMBIES 2 #1 (OF 5) METAMORPHO YEAR ONE #2 (OF 6) MIGHTY AVENGERS #5 CWI NEGATIVE BURN #14 NEW EXCALIBUR #24 NICOLAS CAGES VOODOO CHILD TEMPLESMITH COVER #4 PENANCE RELENTLESS #2 (OF 5) POWERS #26 PRIMORDIA #1 (OF 3) PROGRAMME #4 (OF 12) RED SONJA #26 REX MUNDI DH ED #8 RIDE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL ONE SHOT SHADOWPACT #18 SHOJO BEAT NOV 07 VOL 3 #11 SIMPSONS COMICS #135 SKYSCRAPERS OF THE MIDWEST #4 SNAKEWOMAN VOL 2 TALE OF THE SNAKE CHARMER #4 SPIDER-MAN FAMILY #5 STAR TREK YEAR FOUR #4 STARKWEATHER IMMORTAL #1 (OF 4) SUBURBAN GLAMOUR #1 (OF 4) SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL #7 SWORD #1 TALES TO DEMOLISH #2 TALES TO DEMOLISH #3 TERROR INC #3 (OF 5) TRAILER PARK OF TERROR COLOR SP #7 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #47 ULTIMATE X-MEN #87 UMBRELLA ACADEMY APOCALYPSE SUITE #1 (OF 6) 2ND PTG VAR CVR UMBRELLA ACADEMY APOCALYPSE SUITE #2 (OF 6) VERONICA #184 WITCHBLADE TAKERU MANGA #9 WOLVERINE ORIGINS #18 WONDERLAND #5 X-MEN EMPEROR VULCAN #2 (OF 5) ZIG ZAG #2

Books / Mags / Stuff 52 THE COMPANION TP 52 THE COVERS HC ARMY @ LOVE VOL 1 THE HOT ZONE CLUB TP AWESOME INDIE SPINNER RACK ANTHOLOGY VOL 1 TP BOOKHUNTER GN CAPES VOL 1 TP PUNCHING THE CLOCK COMICS BUYERS GUIDE DEC 2007 #1636 DARKNESS LEVELS TP DINOWARS POCKET MANGA VOL 1 DRIFTING CLASSROOM VOL 8 TP EDUARDO RISSOS TALE OF TERROR TP GAMEKEEPER VOL 1 TOOTH AND CLAW TP GEAR SCHOOL GN GEEK MONTHLY #8 GENE SIMMONS HOUSE OF HORRORS #2 GOLGO 13 VOL 11 GN HONEY LICKERS SORORITY VOL 1 (A) HOUSE OF CLAY GN INDIA AUTHENTIC TP VOL 01 BOOK OF SHIVA JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR #49 JSA ALL STAR ARCHIVES VOL 1 HC NAOKI URASAWAS MONSTER VOL 11 TP NIGHTWING 13 INCH DELUXE FIGURE ORIGINAL ART OF BASIL WOLVERTON HC SARDINE IN OUTER SPACE VOL 4 SC SAVAGE BROTHERS VOL 1 TP SHAZAM MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL DELUXE HC STAR WARS CLONE WARS ADVENTURES VOL 9 TP STAR WARS TALES O/T JEDI OMNIBUS VOL 1 TP SUPERMAN THE BOTTLE CITY OF KANDOR TP TOWN BOY SC TOYFARE ALIEN VS PREDATOR 2 CVR #124 WHITEOUT VOL 2 MELT TP DEFINITIVE ED SHOWCASE PRESENTS TP WORLDS FINEST VOL 01

What looks good to YOU?

-B

Johanna Has Hope: Preview of Hope Falls #1

People send me PDFs for review. Here's my thoughts on one. Bear in mind that I use a laptop, so my screen space is minimal, and by the time I blow up the pages to be able to read the dialogue, I'm looking at individual panels, not full pages. It's not the most ideal format, but it's effectively free for both of us. I'm looking today at Hope Falls #1 from Markosia. It's due in November, but I suspect that unless you have an excellent comic store, you're not likely to see it unless you commit to preordering a copy.

It's written by Tony Lee with art by Dan Boultwood. The plot starts with a home-town girl, gone 20 years, returning home and pondering what's changed and what hasn't. It's only after we begin wondering why she's so strange that we find out that she was murdered by men who are now town leaders, and she's back for vengeance.

That's an intriguing change on the usual setup, especially given the warnings she receives about how much her plans will harm her. In stories of this type, usually it's the protagonist who's moved on and grown, but here, she's the one fixated on the past, and she's still the same person (physically) she was then.

The art is sharp-edged but simple in the Oeming style. It tells the story well, and the flashback inserts of what happened then are suitably shocking and sudden. The theme, that some choices can't be apologized for or reversed, is unusual and full of potential.

It's twisty, so it's hard to recommend the entire series with confidence, because who knows where it might end up? The writer compares it to "Twin Peaks meets The Crow by way of the Da Vinci Code", but it strikes me as a layered tale best suited to comics. I admire the protagonist's determination even as I'm shaking my head that she's making the wrong choices.

Use code SEP073850 to preorder, or visit hope-falls.com to learn more. It's a Good read, with the potential to be more once the whole story is revealed.

Johanna Reads Archies: Jughead Enters Our World

The new story in Jughead & Friends Digest #23 is odd in an historical way. Dilton's figured out a way to store stuff in another dimension with his "infinite closet" invention. For most stories, this would be a fruitful premise in itself... but here, it's just a way to set up the real conflict, when Jughead falls through it and winds up in "our" world. Jughead happens to land in the comic book company that creates his stories. (It's a lovely fantasy, the idea of writers and artists all in one office, working to create comics, although it's never been true in the modern age.)

The writer winds up showing Jughead how a comic story is created. Given this publisher, the process unsurprisingly winds up being editor-heavy and includes a feature panel for the company production artists, although it isn't explained exactly what they do. (Usually, redraw things at the last minute to match editorial dictate or fix errors.)

I called this "historical" because it seems that during a long run, every comic book character winds up meeting his creator, usually when said creator can't think of any other premise for that month. I'd rather have seen the story about Dilton's invention and what it meant for selling real estate, or the one about Jughead wandering through alternate worlds, instead of yet another "how comics are made" essay.

Especially given that hand-waving endings that are typical of such metafiction. After all, when a character meets his creator, the writer can whip up whatever's needed to save the day. I'd give it an Awful, but that would mean caring about it, so it's an Eh.

I'm coming your way real soon: Graeme worries about a book from 10/10

Maybe I'm just getting softer as I'm getting older, but there's something about THE NEW AVENGERS #35 that disturbs me. It's not the gratuitous cover, with Wolverine turning into Venom even though that isn't what the issue's about in the slightest - although a second read-through did at least make me realize that there is a WolverVenom in the issue; he's in the background of the fight scene on the last page - and it's not the supervillain gathers lots of other supervillains into a giant supervillain army plot that we've all seen countless times before (Hell, if you read DC books, you've seen it a couple of times in the last three years alone). No, it's the treatment of B-list heroine Tigra.

I know, I know; I shouldn't really be bothered by the whole thing. The plot is essentially "Supervillains show that they're not messing around this time by threatening superheroes' families" (And, really, we've seen that story countless times already as well, so I don't know why it's supposed to be such a big deal here. Even within the Marvel Universe, isn't the idea of getting at a hero through his family the entire point of JMS's last six months or so on Amazing Spider-Man?), so the idea that Tigra gets threatened that her family are next shouldn't really get under my skin. And it's not really the idea that does; it's the execution.

It may just be me, but there's something weirdly misogynistic about Tigra's treatment in the entire issue, even outside of the attack that leads to the threat - The cleavage shots of Tigra both in outfit (where she's wearing a bikini and nothing else) and in secret identity (where she's wearing a shirt that's open enough to reveal her cleavage, and there's a necklace nestled between her breasts to draw attention to them) and the dialogue from the cops ("She was covered in fur! In her panties!") - but the attack itself is... I don't know, maybe I'm being too sensitive, but seeing a female character repeatedly beaten, with her shirt torn open to reveal her bikini/bra (It's not really made clear which it is, whether it's meant to be her superhero costume or not), being called "a selfish little pig" and talked to like a child ("That's your mommy. You love your mommy. She even loves you"), while she doesn't even try to fight back or say anything past "Nnnng" and "Aaaiiee!" - okay, she pleads for him to "stoppp" once, but that's the only actual word she manages - and the whole thing gets videotaped for an audience full of supervillains to watch and cheer at a bar later... It's really, really disturbing to me. And not in a "Wow, they're obviously bad guys" way, but in a "That scene would never have happened to a male character" way.

It's because of that scene in particular, and the treatment of Tigra in general in the issue, that I had such a bad taste in my mouth that everything else in the issue could've been the greatest comic book ever - it's not, however - and this would still have been a Crap for me.

Everyone else who read it; am I over-reacting to this?

Super, Thanks: 10/10 vs. Douglas

The first issue of Steve Niles and Scott Hampton's SIMON DARK seems weirdly off: it's an attempt to do a horror/superhero hybrid, but it doesn't really work as either, because it doesn't play on any real fears or have any real cultural resonance. The front cover and first page claim it happens in Gotham City, although it doesn't build on anything we've ever seen of Gotham before: the city it's set in has no particular flavor at all. It's supposedly a DCU book, although its general style is much more Vertigo-ish--four pages in, the protagonist beheads a bad guy with what I'm guessing is a particularly sharp garrotte. (Actually, it seems even more like a Wildstorm non-Universe book.) And it appears to be an ongoing series, which seems pretty much impossible for a DCU title whose characters have never been seen before. Seriously: what's the last DC Universe (or, to be fair, Marvel Universe) title starring a previously unseen, non-franchise-based character that's lasted two years? If ALIAS only made it to #20, does SIMON DARK have a ghost of a chance?

More to the point, this qualifies as Awful, because there is nothing in the story that makes me want to read #2. The plot: Latin-speaking cultists kill a dude; Simon Dark, who's got the hair of Sandman, the face of Jigsaw and the shirt of Where's Waldo, beheads one of them and begs some money from their other prospective victim; a medical examiner named Beth Granger, who is pretty obviously going to be a running supporting character, checks out the scene and talks to a guy in a deli about it; a father and daughter move to town; the cultists, whose group appears to be called Geo-Populus, discuss the "interloper"; Simon takes an Edgar Allan Poe book from the father and daughter and leaves them some money, acquires some cat food the same way, has a little emo monologue ("The straps hold me together. They keep me warm... and they hurt"), and comes home to feed his cat and read. The end.

Now. Think about the first issue of TRANSMETROPOLITAN, with Spider Jerusalem coming down from the mountain. Think about the first issue of ALIAS, with Jessica Jones showing us exactly how her self-loathing works and what it's driven her to (but, crucially, not where it came from). Think about the first issue of BONE, with its swan-dive into a world of whimsical invention. SIMON DARK has just as much space as any of them, but Niles' script doesn't have any kind of hook that's going to lead the story forward thematically--the closest it's got is the mystery of what's up with Simon's "straps" and who Geo-Populus are, and it doesn't give us any reason to care about either.

The opening "here's our hero slicing up the bad guys" scene, actually, has some parallels with the first episode of V FOR VENDETTA--which also sets up the character of Evey, has the brilliant touch of V quoting Shakespeare at length during the fight, and ends with Parliament being blown up, all in the space of six or eight pages. The pacing here, though, is unbelievably slack--both in terms of overall plot movement and in its awkwardly staged set-pieces. The sequence in which Simon takes the Poe book, for instance, takes two pages for a piece of business that really didn't need more than two panels and could easily have been accomplished in the background of some other piece of storytelling.

That's a shame, because the look of Hampton and colorist Chris Chuckry's artwork has a really strong: it looks like heavily processed, hand-tinted photos, something like Alex Maleev's Daredevil run but even more stylized. (I'm guessing a lot of Hampton's faces and backgrounds, in particular, are drawn from photos; it's somewhat different from the style I remember him using before.) They're obviously still working some of the kinks out--the processing strips out fine details, and Hampton sometimes replaces them with bold scribbles, which break the semi-photorealist illusion.

Hampton's got what could be an interesting technique for the right series, but this one isn't it. (It might have worked for, say, JACK CROSS, the last entirely-new-character "ongoing" series with a DC bullet I can recall. Lasted four issues, right?) Horror stories are about fantastic events in a quotidian world; most superhero stories imagine fantastic events in a world in which the fantastic is still sort of quotidian. The realist style Hampton's using here, though, and the bleak tones Chuckry limits himself to, deny the existence of anything fantastic. It's so muted, physically and emotionally, that even the scenes of Simon leaping through the air seem understated and earthbound. When I turned to the center-spread house ad--the villains gathered around the stone head of Darkseid--I thought, until I registered what I was looking at, "hey, this story suddenly got exciting!"

Unrelatedly, a small note on BOOSTER GOLD #3: I'm amused that Geoff Johns is working the cast of DOCTOR 13: ARCHITECTURE AND MORTALITY into this series as background gags. But I hadn't actually read most of the DOCTOR 13 serial until a couple of days ago, and I don't know if I'd quite realized that the 52 writers are very literally the villains of Brian Azzarello's story--if you don't believe me, look at chapter 7, pages 9-12, and think about who's wearing those masks and why they're wearing those particular masks. There's something a little uncomfortable about that.