It's not that bad: Hibbs on CIVIL WAR #7

Unlike Grimmy over there, I'm not going to go all the way to "ASS" on CIVIL WAR #7 -- mostly because I think "ASS" needs to be saved for very very special occasions, and probably should only be trotted out once or twice a year, if that. I mean, don't get me wrong, I certainly didn't like CIVIL WAR #7, but it is far more from execution rather than concept

See, and this is the thing you HAVE to give them, here we have a universe-spanning intercompany crossover that does, in fact, "change everything". Some of it may change back, sure, given enough time, but there wasn't any reset button being hit, and the status quo of the Marvel universe is CLEARLY very very different than it was before CIVIL WAR #1.

Now, this puts aside the questions of whether these are GOOD changes, or LOGICAL ones; nor are these changes simply cosmetic ones -- the basic dramatic under-pinning of the Marvel U are now very different, and it certainly will provide a reasonable amount of fodder for stories, depending on how they handle things.

Let's also put aside the question of whether you LIKE these changes. I mean, *I* don't want to read about the Adventures of Super-fascist, the friend-killing, villain-working, two-faced lying liar, but like it or not, "Civil War" fundamentally changed the very idiom of the super-hero in the Marvel Universe. And, really, that's kind of exciting.

No, what's really wrong with CIVIL WAR #7, and, for that matter, #2-6, is that it doesn't actually tell a story. In a story, or at least in a good story, there's forward movement in both event and character. And with the possible single exception of Spider-Man's arc, that simply doesn't exist throughout the bulk of CW

Think about it this way: in CW #1, Stamford blows up, and the Superhero Registration Act is rammed through. But (basically) nothing that happens afterwards changes anything from that premise. Further, nothing COULD change that premise -- Cap and IM can punch each other all they like, but the laws been made, and unless Marvel starts publishing MIGHTY PARLIMENTARY ADVENTURES #1, there's nothing about that that will change.

I think "Civil War", as an idea, was probably a great one, really -- by all means, let's mix things up; let's have characters who believe they're doing absolutely the right thing, but who are wrong; Let's deal with fairly complex issues of freedom and identity. C'mon, admit it, even if you didn't like it's execution "Civil War" was an EXCITING concept. That's also why it sold so well. ANd why people are talking about it.

The problem is that CIVIL WAR, as a series, bobbled the execution by putting the focus on an "event in seven parts"; and COMPOUNDED that problem by HOLDING UP the actual story from unfolding in the monthly line of comics in order to wait for the "event" to get produced!

Even the "big events" of the CIVIL WAR mini-series (Spidey unmasks, Reed & Sue break up, the punisher returns, and so on) were pretty much uniformly handled much better in the individual bits of the titles then they were in CIVIL WAR itself.

One of the crossover's most dismissive memes is the "red sky" crossover. This dates from the original crossover, CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, which had issues cover-billed as COIE crossovers, where the extent of it was someone pointing upwards and saying "Look, the sky's gone red". And here's the thing, CIVIL WAR #2-7 were basically ALL "red sky" books. I haven't learned anything new OR RELEVENT from them. The things I *did* get that I could ONLY get in CW -- and is there really much more than Reed and Hank building a Clone...er robot thor which kills Bill Foster? -- are kind of logically objectionable.

Its really really easy to MOnday Morning Quarterback these things, but I had me a Time Machine, I'd probably have structured this more as a stand-alone special that kicks the whole thing off, and sets up all of the threads. I would have made sure that the KEY books (IRON MAN and CAPTAIN AMERICA) were in-synch and contemperous with the launch date for the story, and were diriving the individual battles of the war. I would have probably doubled the frequency of FF, and put the "mystery" of 42, the clobothor, and Sue begging Namor all in there. I would have also done the IM/Cap conversation, and the "Criminals react" specials much as they did, and FRONTLINE becomes the spine that moves the backstory of the story, rather than being perceived as the spin-off of the main book, it would have BEEN the "main book". But issues #2-7 wouldn't have been published, nor would I have stated an "end" to the "story", because that creates a false expectation in the audience.

Because, in point of fact, the story DID NOT "end" in CW #7. And the ways that it did felt both forced and commercialized.

(parenthetically, because I'm flashing on it now, and will forget later, Breevort's interview says Sue is returning to Reed in that scene, and I TOTALLY read it as "Sue came back to get her things to go for good")

What's funny is the Joe Quesada text piece I liked so very much in CW #1 ("new Marvel reader? Dude, you totally need to read such AND such, they rock!"), just gave me the raging skeevies as the "last pages" of CW #7 ("We like money, please buy these other 47 things!!!!")

So, look, really, for the IDEA of "Civil War", and for the storytelling possibilities (if not actualities!!), I kind of have to give "Civil War" AT LEAST an OK, and maybe possibly even a GOOD. There's not a person amongst you who reads regular mainstream interconnected comics who doesn't really wish for change and forward movement in in the "universe". That's precisely why we love those universes, after all!

Even us black-hearted grinches here at the SAVAGE CRITIC have to admit that the Possibilities of a "Civil War" is, in fact, exactly and precisely what we want. OF COURSE it is.

And we cry because the execution lets us down.

Before I get into CW #7 specifically, let me do some of my purported "retail intelligence", and let me try to explain my big fear in the next six months.

I have this really deep fear that "post-CW" Marvel is going to pan out to be "One Year Later", where there's an initial burst of sampling, but then the audience wanders away if its not WOWED. The good thing is that, unlike OYL, we have FOC on Marvel books, so exposure is really only limited to 1, maybe 2 issues max. But I have to tell you (after reading CW #7) feeling the let-down (as a reader) that there's no there, there, I'm inclined (as a retailer) to assume the worst. My initials are, I think, leaning high, but this is mostly still from fear over Marvel's (former) no re-order policy.

They've never stated it out loud, but, yeah, Marvel DOES overprint these days -- you can reorder CW #3-6 from them, even today. But because they're far from the "open taps" of DC (Dig it, EACH AND EVERY [42 right now] issue of 52 is inprint and in-stock from DC right now), we've still got the Battered Wife thing going on where we've been trained to order on the side of caution. Like, how, say, I can't reorder NEW AVENGERS ILLUMINATI #1 because Marvel has none. Despite #2 coming out on Wednesday.

So, CW #7 itself.

Obviously, it lets us down with a conclusion that's not a conclusion. "Cap gives up, and here's the trailers for our next year" isn't an ending. But here's some specific questions:

Am I supposed to believe that the Super Soldier of WW2 doesn't know what Acceptable Losses are?

Who is Peter Parker actually on the run from? He's a fully Registered super-hero, right? How can he possibly be with the (expressly) anti-registration (new) Avengers.

With all 50 states covered by super-teams, what possible mission can the (mighty) Avengers have? Global operations? Atlantis, Wakanda, Latveria, almost certainly umpty umpty others are against America's reaction.

Honestly, where's the American dissent to civil liberty abrogations? I kinda feel like "Civil War" is Fox, and we never get to see what CNN, let alone an actual liberal perspective. The series portrays the general populace as lock-step with fascism.

Right, so, 50 teams for 50 states. What are 32 of them going to be doing day-to-day? Most of the major villains are now Thunderbolts. Almost, how can there be crime? Is thre anyone left in the MU TO strive against?

Ugh, it's 11:30, I need to end this, but sure, CW #7 was bad, probably up (well, down) to AWFUL; but the concept was good, damn it.

Just what I always wanted: Graeme reads Civil War #7 and gets depressed.

Here's the worrying thing about CIVIL WAR #7: The possibility that this really was the best that they could come up with. The problem with the issue isn't that it's bad - in a world where Spider-Man's loving can give her cancer, "bad" has almost been redefined, after all - but that it's so amazingly underwhelming. There are no surprises, no shocks, no nothing; it's as if even the creators lost interest in the book by this point and were just going through the motions to complete their obligations. You get the "big fight" you would expect, the one character realizing that maybe they've gone too far, and then the extended close that really pushes the idea that everything has changed. Except that it doesn't feel as if anything has changed at all. There's nothing revolutionary or new or changed about this book at all, and the end of the issue doesn't carry any extra weight that such a conclusion (or even a beginning, as Tony Stark says) should have; there's no release of tension, perhaps because there wasn't really any tension to begin with. If it wasn't for the fact that I knew how many issues were in the series, I wouldn't be that surprised to see Civil War #8 on the stands next month - Well, okay, three months from now - if only because not only has nothing been resolved, but the final issue actually brings up new things to be unresolved in order to make you want to buy the books that Joe Quesada pushes in his column at the end of the issue. Not that I expected anything different, but... I don't know. Maybe I was hopeful? Stupid? Both?

It's Ass, as you'd expect, but not in an entertaining way. It hits exactly the points you knew it would, including Mark Millar's five-year-old sense of what "cool" is, as filtered through his mid-30s brain (Hercules does the "I knew Jack Kennedy" speech? Who read that and thought that it was (a) in any way in character, or (b) not a really shitty idea that doesn't deserve a page and a half? Other than those who found it offensive, of course). Captain America's surrendering doesn't really make any sense when you think about it - "My God! This fight has caused some property damage... I've never thought about that before, ever! I have to give up!" - and cutting from that to weeks later looks entirely like the dodge it is: What happened to everyone else who was fighting at that point? Did they just stop fighting? It's not explained at all, even in the embarrassing Mr.-Fantastic's-Love-Letter-To-His-Wife scene that follows. Did the anti-reg heroes just give up (with the exception of the New Avengers, who somehow escaped and went back underground, but we don't know how)? And if they did, what the fuck is that? "Hey, Cap's quit. This isn't cool anymore. We give up." I don't think that anyone at Marvel really knows, or cares. The ending happens purely because it was time for the series to finish, as opposed to... well, any other reason at all. Not that it's really an ending of course, but what could be more fitting for a series that wasn't really a story but a collection of scenes to set-up other comics?

Never was the "And this is a new comic we're doing!" theme of the series more obvious than in that horrific closing montage that accompanied Reed's equally horrific letter to Sue ("I cried for exactly ninety-three minutes"? I'm sorry, Mark, but that's just bad writing, even if you ignore the "You've never (a) read any Fantastic Four comics ever, or (b) met another human being" things). Here's a hint how to make this kind of thing more subtle in future, Marvel: Closing montages generally work better when they have some thematic connection to the story you're closing, are not full of characters who have never appeared in the story previously ("Some heroes have moved to Canada, to star in our new Omega Flight book. I know that none of these heroes were in Civil War, but look. We have a new Omega Flight book, Sue. Come back to me and we can read it together."), and if they, you know, aren't being used as a rushed attempt at exposition to tell you how DARING and NEW and DIFFERENT Marvel comics will be from now on. That sequence also contains some of the most self-congratulatory writing ever seen, when Millar speaking as Reed complains about how hard it has been to recreate the superhero dynamic (even though he, well, hasn't) and nobody knows the trouble he's seen, just deepening the weird navel-gazing quality of mainstream Marvel these days. I'd put my traditional "Where are the editors?" question here, but they're over at Newsarama saying things like "[A]t the end of the day, Civil War is a story, and a story about some very specific ideas, so the ending needed to revolve around those ideas and the two heroes—Cap and Iron Man—who had come to represent the dueling ideologies. But I can write the reviews right now: 'That’s it? All that hype for nothing? Nobody died??!!' I know where everything is going down the line, though, so I’ve got a bit more excitement for it than perhaps the average reader does right this second."

Dear Tom Brevoort, I really like you and all, but if you really thought that this issue resolved an ideological conflict, you are high and need to calm down. Also, I think you'll find that a lot of fan complaints about this issue are based in more than just "No-body died??!!" Just sayin' that you might want to not get lost in Strawmanargumentville. Love, Graeme.

In the end, I think it's fair that I (like many others) went into this with lowered expectations and yet somehow still found myself disappointed. But it's still going to massively outsell everything else this month - and maybe this year - so really, what does my opinion matter?

Prose ain't easy: Graeme's review of the 2/14 books.

As Jeff pointed out, it's a busy weekend due to Onomatopoeia deadlines and other stuff, so short reviews where I'll play nice because I'm now kind of embarrassed about the whole spider-spunk thing now, really. BATMAN #663: Well, that was... interesting. And yet, not so good. Grant Morrison, for all his strengths, overwrote the crap out of this ("The Batman feels the kind of chill that comes from stepping into deep, freezing, black water that rises rapidly around the rubs and stops the breath with a hammer blow. Some like it hot." "She's cute like a Chihuahua pup with rabies, or a baby swinging an open razor." That's just plain bad writing, Grant), managing to bury the actual plot of the story under the somewhat unreadable prose. And it's unreadable for multiple reasons - not only was the writing itself awkward and over the top, but the page design, type and illustrations all work against the readability of the text. John Van Fleet's illos are fine until they involve people, and then the computer-modelling becomes very obvious, adding to the feeling that the whole book is a well-meaning, ambitious misfire. Eh

GODLAND #16: The thing that strikes me as odd about this book is actually how unlike Kirby's work that it is - There are surface similarities, especially in the art, but it doesn't have the beautiful sense of design that Kirby's stuff had, the way that each panel led the eye perfectly into the next panel and around the page. The writing, too, reaches for a Kirby-esque sense of scale and ridiculousness (because, let's face it, the two are pretty much tied together), but then undercuts it with the self-conscious comedy and throwaway lines of dialogue that clue the reader in too much to a sense of "Hey, we know it's dumb too" that... well, kind of ruins the fun. Unlike Jeff, I wasn't too annoyed that this was a recap issue - maybe because I don't normally read the book? - but on the other hand, I didn't really read anything here that made me desperate to read the next one, so I guess that it failed as New Reader Bait. Okay for what it is, but the real New Kirby book that Image publishes is Casanova. Which, of course, I forgot to pick up this week. Because I suck.

THE PUNISHER PRESENTS BARRACUDA #1: I don't know, maybe it's my British White Guy Liberal Guilt or something, but this just made me uncomfortable. There's something that never rings true for me reading British writers in particular writing "black" dialogue like "My nigga," and I can't quite shake the feeling that the entire book exists because the creators have bought into some kind of stereotype of the Scary Black Man that they've seen in countless shitty action movies that doesn't really exist in the real world. That said, it's Okay for what it is, if you accept that it's more or less just a comic version of one of those shitty action movies, down to the improbable McGuffin plot (You have to protect the Mob Boss's son - and he's a hemophiliac!) and unfunny comedy moments (the white guys who keep getting fucked up by Barracuda without his even really noticing who they are). It's just that it worries me, for some weird reason I can't put my finger on.

THE SENSATIONAL SPIDER-MAN #35: Wait, so am I misreading or did this issue really spoil the cliffhanger of "Are Aunt May and/or Mary Jane about to die"? Admittedly, it's a stretch, but Peter saying "My family has been put through the wringer" is an incredibly polite way to talk about things if one of them was even near death at that point. Yes, there's that whole "they wouldn't give away something as big as a death in a throwaway line of dialogue" thing, but it would've been easier to just avoid the whole subject if spoilers were an issue. Meanwhile, this issue - which, taken on its own is Okay but nothing amazing (or even Sensational, for that matter), and suffers from Angel Medina's art - also spoils one potential candidate for the big death in next week's Civil War, much to Hibbs' chagrin; Reed Richards shows up here, alive and unharmed. Good planning, Marvel.

THUNDERBOLTS #111: I really want Brian to review books this week, because he passed this to me and said that he thought it was enjoyably sick and twisted, and I really don't see it at all - the issue is essentially a fight scene with a couple of moments to show that the characters are bad guys (Oh! Swordsman kicks a man when he's down! Gasp! Bullseye stabs someone!), and it feels very much what's expected of everyone involved. Pretty much Eh, and enough to convince me that I don't particularly want to stick around to watch talented creators phone it in to pick up a paycheck.

THUNDERBOLTS PRESENTS: ZEMO - BORN BETTER #1: Meanwhile, the previous incarnation of Thunderbolts gets to continue in this miniseries that is probably the most old-school Marvel book around right now. It's not just in the plot - The current Baron Zemo is thrown back in time and makes sure that his ancestors become power-hungry bastards - but in the execution, which shuns historical accuracy for a Roy Thomas shine that oddly enough works. It's hard to shake the feeling that this series is a consolation prize for being thrown off the main book, however, and the lack of adolescent grim and gritty tone (which makes the book more interesting to me) underscores both how depressing the majority of Marvel's current output is and also how ultimately inconsequential this series will be in Marvel's grand scheme of things; as soon as someone else wants to write "Baron Zemo rapes Aunt May and Spider-Man cries: A Marvel Comics Event in Seven Parts," this book will be officially forgotten. Okay, but sadly enough, not enough.

PICK OF THE WEEK is Casanova, even though I didn't pick it up; I just have that much faith in it. Of the ones that I did read, it's probably Godland - it was a pretty blah week, but at least Godland was fun enough. PICK OF THE WEAK is Batman, because it was such a strange choice to do it in that format, and the execution only made the choice seem more strange. TRADE OF THE WEEK would probably be the Showcase Presents Aquaman book because I loves me my seamen.

And, yes, self-referential pun intended.

Next week: Civil War #7! And, if good comics are your thing instead, Local #8 finally appears! Which side of that particular battle will you all be on, Earthlets?

Going the Way They're Going: Jeff's Reviews of the 2/14 Books.

I should apologize. We're really horrible hosts here at the Savage Critic(s). I was well aware that we got a ton of traffic links to Graeme's review from places like Bookslut, Wired and Time (and of course our pal Dirk at Journalista who started it all) but didn't think, until just yesterday, to write some sort of post to greet new readers who might stick around but wonder, like, why this blog never gets updated? So if you're a noob and you're still here, hello! We update at a rate considered lethargic by the Internet's terms--usually three times a week on average--with usually two (but sometimes three) reviewers tackling the week's books, and Hibbs chiming in with a shipping list, or an oddly-formatted link to some article or other he's written for Newsarama, or some complaint or other about toilet training. But sometimes you get a little bit more (one day, I swear, you'll get my post about NYC and Rocketship) and sometimes you get maybe just a little bit less.

This week? Considering there's a store newsletter to get out? Mmmmmmaybe just a little bit less. We'll see how Wonderman McMillan does. As for me, while everyone stayed away from the store and enjoyed our lovely end-of-the-world weather, I read:

52 WEEK #41: Putters along nicely, particularly if you're interested in the space opera story, or Renee's story. (I'm sure I'll be proven wrong, but the last six or seven appearances of Ralph feel like they're running out the clock on his arc--it's ready to end, but they're not ready to have it end.) (And, boy, is it a lovely feeling for an old-school paranoid like me to bust out a sentence with so many "they"s in it. I should go back and capitalize and italicize them: "Ralph is supposed to be the new Spectre but They won't let him!") It's Good stuff, I know it, but because I'm really only concerned about the Black Adam storyline, the mad scientist storyline, and poor ol' Will Magnus, I'd probably give it an OK if it was just you and me talking over a beer somewhere.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #20: I'm willing to bet Hibbs won't be posting reviews this weekend after all that insane number-crunching and summarizing in his Newsarama article, which is a kind of a shame since my take on the book was "Wow!" and his was "Yeah, it's all right. I guess. Pretty standard." His take is that he doesn't give a crap about Breakworld so the story has no tension. My response was that Whedon and Co. put the emphasis on the story not on whether Breakworld lives or dies, but what that'll do to Peter. Hibbs' response to my response was that that was a moot point because it's not like Whedon would bring back Colossus just to break the character (which makes me wonder if he's been paying attention to those Buffy seasons he watched at all) and then I don't know what happened because they next thing I remember we were both shrieking and flinging our feces at each other. To sum up: I think this is a Very Good work, being as it's well written and beautifully drawn and, while I can see Hibbs' complaint, he probably still deserves a face full of poop.

BATMAN #663: The thrill of the world's loveliest title page gave way to a sinking feeling as I discovered the whole issue was illustrated prose. I mean, I'm a fan of prose, really--hey, some of my fictional best friends come from prose!--but it almost always feels like a chore to me in a comic for some unknowable reason.

Here, Morrison gives us passable writing (it reminded me of the stuff I used to read in the lesser pulp magazines, purple, occasionally prolix, but definitely serviceable), perhaps as a commentary on how close to the pulps Batman can be, and while it allows Morrison the space to expound on the Batman's methods and The Joker's madness, it doesn't add much more to the story than the amount of time you'll need to read it. I'd give it a high OK/low Good, since it's a noble experiment and kinda cool to look at than actually to read, but if the construction of twenty-some-odd pages of prose is why this title had to run a fill-in arc for a few months and possibly lose several thousand readers for good.... well, I guess I wish Morrison had waited and done this as an Annual or something.

BLADE #6: You can tell Chaykin loved drawing the clothes on those flashback scenes, and Guggenheim continues working hard to throw some kind of cool twist into all of his action scenes (if nothing else, he's becoming the go-to guy for self-mutilatory characters) but this still feels like less than the sum of its parts--depending on how much you care about the character of Blade, maybe a lot less. OK, unless you're a fan of the character in which case it might be awesome, maybe.

CASANOVA #7: [Got about nine pages into it, then forgot to bring it to work. I reserve the right to retroactively add stuff in here later.]

GHOST RIDER #8: By creatively yoinking the hook of an old Night Stalker episode (where the headless horesman comes back as a biker), and tossing it into an issue of Ghost Rider, Daniel Way accomplishes the formidable task of ruining two of my beloved childhood memories at once. As always with Way, it's not the ideas that are the problem (frankly, that headless horseman on a hog is a cool idea, and a great fit for Ghost Rider), it's the execution: he lingers over his scenes of cruel cops and untouchable rich kid date rapists as if they were new breeds of rare orchids and not the bitter ragweed of cliche. The art's not bad, although Texeira's dramatic scenes continue to be overwrought, but books written and edited this shittily and cynically are why I always feel guilty when I don't praise some mediocre, but well-meant, book to the skies. Awful.

GØDLAND #16: Hey, speaking of which.... I was kinda bummed that Casey and Scioli published a sixty cent issue of this title to nab new readers and pretty much muck it up. Admittedly, summarizing fifteen issues of storylines and introducing all the characters isn't an easy task, but the approach taken here (a bunch of pissy military men argue about it in a room and you get flashback panels) is the path of least resistance...and even lesser drama. I thought this was deeply Eh, and like I said, I feel guilty as hell admitting it.

GREEN ARROW #71: It almost feels like genuine tension when Winick has his two favorite Mary Sues (Green Arrow and Red Hood) fight it out--I mean, since neither one can ever lose, who will win? Actually, despite my sassmouth, I liked this issue OK: Judd and Scott McDaniel are doing pretty much the opposite of something new and yet they're doing it pretty damn well. It certainly could be worse.

JLA CLASSIFIED #34: I missed the first issue of this arc by Dan Slott when it first hit the stands--and most of the people whose opinion I trust was pretty dismissive of it, at the time--but it hasn't been that bad. This issue is my favorite so far, as it uses the alternate reality powers of the bad guy to indulge in the classic Imaginary Story trope of the Earth being evacuated before it explodes. Slott, Jurgens (writing and drawing) and Ordway are really just going for an extra-large Gardner F. Fox story here and, if you like that kind of thing, I think you'll dig it. Good stuff so far, if you ask me.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #3: Poor Alan David Doane. I remember thinking he was kind of going overboard a few years back when he was loosing long tirades about Geoff Johns and his overly violent, age-inappropriate handling of DC icons, but these days, Doane's screeds seem more and more prophetic. I mean, by page five of this book, you get to see a woman and child torn apart at a picnic, an invulnerable silver dude killed by having a metal shard jammed through his open mouth... it's like Friday the 13th: JSA for a bit, there. Hibbs was bemoaning the fact that this is a really good JSA book except that he doesn't feel comfortable having kids read it and how sad is that? (Note: the proper answer here is very, very sad, since the original JSA stories from All-Star Squadron are some of the earliest books Hibbs read as a kid and a cursory glance at the Matt Wagner original art on CE's walls will attest to Bri's enduring fondness for the characters.) Me, I'm just bothered that Johns, who's always struck me as the professional's professional, thinks that this is the best, strongest and most effective way to craft a gripping story and that's really, really sad. As the non-maimy parts of this book show, Johns has a good handle on characterization and the clever hook. But I kinda doubt he'll ever really develop those traits to any significant extent now because this is the kind of stuff that keeps him at the top of the charts. It's an OK issue, but it's also kind of a god-damned shame, you know?

MANHUNTER #28: Skimmed through this issue and it was Eh. The parade of sales-saving cameos continues, but for me the most noteworthy thing about it is that on the last page Kate sees the chess piece, the mark of covert government agency Checkmate, and looks all alarmed. And you know, no matter how Rucka and Co. try to make it work, Checkmate just isn't alarming, and it's not cool. (Maybe for the same reason that a top secret organization called "Bingo!" or "Yahtzee!" wouldn't be cool. I'm not sure, to be honest.)

NEXTWAVE AGENTS OF HATE #12: Yes, okay, of course, the revelation of the ultimate villain (which I'm loathe to reveal) had me initially squeal with glee. But, after thinking about it, it's really just the "Fin Fang Foom" thing + the Kirby character piss-take of the first two issues rolled into one. I laughed once or twice reading this, and the art was insane and gorgeous, but to tell ya the truth, I don't think they could've gotten much more from this series: as it was, it often felt like one part inspiration to two parts rehash. Good issue, a fun bit of skylarking, and a pretty decent miniseries overall, but I think it's probably for the best that it's the end.

PUNISHER PRESENTS BARRACUDA MAX #1: If this had been a prequel to the Punisher storyline with Barracuda, I would've been much closer to loving it: as a sequel, it really diminishes the impact of the original storyline. And your enjoyment of the rest of the issue may depend on what you think of Ennis's imitations of Christopher Walken's vocal stylings (not bad) and/or how you feel about a trope from the first Fury miniseries popping up (the tagalong nebbish? Really?) But I did like this issue despite all that: some similarly perverse sense of humor on the part of Garth Ennis and Goran Parlov makes Barracuda a strangely appealing nightmare. The character's monstrous good cheer is infectious. I was actually hoping for better to be honest, but I thought it was Good.

I have another four or five books I read, but I realize I really don't have much to say. So let's just cut to

PICK OF THE WEEK: Even the stuff I liked I damned with faint praise. ASTONISHING X-MEN #20 was the stuff I bitched about the least, maybe because I was defending it from Hibbs.

PICK OF THE WEAK: Well, if that movie is as much of a turd as it looks to be, then at least Marvel is putting out material in the direct market perfectly suited for any new readers it might bring in: GHOST RIDER #8 sucks, too.

TRADE PICK: SHOWCASE PRESENTS AQUAMAN VOL 1 TPB and I can't wait to get a day or two to dig into it.

And howzabout your fine self?

Well, I didn't see THAT death of Mary Jane coming. No pun intended: Graeme's review of the 2/7 books.

Is it wrong of me to be surprised that so many of the midnight openings that comic book stores across the country had for the Dark Tower book were so popular? Not to slight Marvel or Stephen King or anything, but I just can't get my head around anyone going out at midnight for a comic at all. Does that make me a bad comic fan? ACTION COMICS ANNUAL #10: Man, this could have been so good. It has such potential: A Silver-Age style anthology of short stories - complete with go-go checks on the cover! - illustrated by an all-star lineup (I mean, seriously; Joe Kubert and Art Adams in the same book? How often does that happen?) giving hints about what's to come for Superman in the next year or so. Where could it go wrong? The answer, of course, is with the writing. Geoff Johns ("with Richard Donner", which I'm now taking to mean that Donner said something like "So, Superman fights Lex Luthor and there's Kryptonite involved. And you know that Superman movie I did? Make it like that," and poor Geoff has to make it into an actual story) sadly forgets to bring any story to the proceedings, with the exception of two plots that are retellings of past stories (Literally, in the case of the Mon-El one), making the whole thing feel like a 48-page trailer for a particularly confused movie made by a rabid fan of Curt Swan and Julie Schwartz. I love the Silver Age Superman as much as the next guy, but even I'm a bit concerned at the sudden reappearance of the Intergalactic Zoo in the Fortress of Solitude, or square Bizarro Earth, with no explanation whatsoever. Okay, maybe not that last one (Mind you, Toyman suddenly being Winslow Slott the old guy again, considering we had the little creepy living talking toy version in Up, Up and Away this time last year, was unexpected). Disappointingly empty, and not as fun as I'd hoped for. Eh, and that's almost entirely because of the artwork.

THE DARK TOWER: THE GUNSLINGER BORN #1: I am completely the wrong person to review this, because Stephen King normally leaves me cold (aside from his journalism; I loved "On Writing" and "Danse Macabre"), and I generally have problems with fantasy stories in general, so I was never going to be the target market for this. It seems to be fine for what it is, however, with Peter David coming up with a narrative voice that seems to be part his and part King's. Jae Lee's art is strong, although Richard Isanove's coloring weakens it, for me; everything has the same texture and weight, which gives the whole thing a very artificial feeling. The rest of the package is almost as interesting to me as the main story, with a map and text story back-up playing very much to the existing Dark Tower fan demographic, advertisements that try to play up Marvel as a serious literary company, and an amusing editorial by Ralph Macchio that reads like someone awkwardly trying to impress strangers before ending with "Catch ya at the Tower," as if Stan Lee had suddenly entered the room. Like I said, I'm the wrong person for this; I'm sure others more interested in the subject matter will love it, but it was just Okay to me.

THE NEW AVENGERS #27: Is it wrong of me that I love the narrative device of this issue so much? Echo sends an email to Matt Murdock, which is interesting in and of itself considering he's blind and all - although, yes, someone else could read it to him, or he could have software that will read it out loud - but said email outs him as Daredevil by the second page of the book. You can imagine one of Matt's legal assistants checking his email for him and getting a surprise, or someone hacking his email and finding out his secret identity... There's just something wonderfully not-thought-out about it that I love. The rest of the book, I'm much more on the fence about - It's completely unfriendly to any new readers (or, for that matter, people who haven't read Millar's Wolverine run or Mack's Daredevil run), and I'm not so sure that I understood what was actually going on, but I enjoyed the appearance of the team, and Bendis's banter-dialogue, and Lenil Yu's art is always fun. None of it really feels especially Avengers to me, but I think that battle's been long lost by now; it's still Okay, though.

THE SECRET #1: You can tell that writer (and Dark Horse head honcho) Mike Richardson has been hanging out in Hollywood, because this first issue of a new horror series reads entirely like a generic horror movie, somewhere between "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and "The Ring". The star of this book is Jason Shawn Alexander, whose painted art is essentially Kent Williams, circa his Moonshadow fill-ins, or Blood, used for more commercial purposes. It may be entirely unoriginal, but still Good at being entirely unoriginal.

SHAZAM!: THE MONSTER SOCIETY OF EVIL #1: As I'm sure comes as no surprise to anyone, Jeff Smith's take on Captain Marvel plays the material very straight, and true to its origins, giving us a very enjoyable story that's as kid-friendly (especially considering that "Lust" is replaced as a deadly sin by "Injustice") as it is fun for old-school fans. Smith's cartoony touches (Billy's hair standing on end when he's scared, beads of sweat flying off him) and simple dialogue and character motivations feel very pure and more true to the character than anything else that DC has done to him in... well, maybe ever, and the only thing that's wrong with the book is the format - Something that perfect for kids should, I feel, be in a cheaper format than the $5.99, 48-page one. A dumb complaint, I know, but otherwise, this is Excellent.

SPIDER-MAN: REIGN #3: And now it's time for this week's "I seriously can't believe that Marvel did that" moment. I'm very surprised that I've not seen more online outrage about the reveal, this issue, of what killed Mary Jane: Spider-Man's cum. And for all of you who think I'm joking, here's the dialogue from the book itself: "Oh God, I'm sorry! The doctors didn't understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was... I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me... loving me... Loving me killed you!"

Seriously, Marvel, WHAT THE FUCK? At what point did Spider-Man having radioactive sperm ever seem like a good idea? At what point did anyone even think about Spider-Man having radioactive sperm? Jesus Christ, I can't believe this ever saw print, I cannot believe that no-one at Marvel thought that having a comic where Spider-Man tells the corpse of his wife - because, yeah, I meant to say that, he's talking to the corpse of his dead wife - that he killed her with his special radioactive spider-spunk was ANYTHING that should ever be allowed to appear in a comic. And that's before you even get to the continuation of his admission: "Like a spider, crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer... I killed you."

Holy crap. To get an idea of the context of this scene, as he's saying this, the corpse of his wife is trying to kiss him with some kind of demon tongue. I was so numbed by the idea that Marvel somehow thinks that this is a perfectly publishable idea - that showing Marvel's #1 licensing jackpot, the same character that they put on all manner of kid products, the same character who's probably going to have the highest-grossing movie of the year this year coming out at the same time as the collection of this series, as being responsible for the death of his wife (potentially strong story idea, possibility for tragedy, etc.) specifically because of his radioactive jism (somewhere between WTF and TMI, and reducing potentially strong story idea to cheap dirty joke and/or bad idea, and something that I feel is kind of offensive in ways that I can't really explain) - that, later on, when the book does a very, very obvious 9/11 rip-off ("Bodies are falling! From the top of the building!" - They're not bodies, they're mini-Venoms, by the way), I was just bored. This book has gone from Dark Knight rip-off to car-crash embarrassment far too quickly. Ass, and, boy, does someone on the blog have to complain that Marvel really has no idea what to do with their own characters anymore every single week?

(And nothing to do with the book itself, but do you think Nissan are going to be that thrilled at their probably-expensive back cover ad having some of its text be covered up by the barcode and pricing info that Marvel didn't want to ruin their front cover?)

WONDERLOST #1: Another book that I had high hopes for, and didn't deliver. The idea of an autobio anthology (all written by the same person) about romantic failures and successes could, in other hands, be a thing of wonder and beauty... But for CB Cebulski, it sadly is just a collection of chances to show how much women like him even though he's an asshole. The common thread through all of these stories (aside from the first, which is about a friend being dumped) is that the women want him - even the best friend of his girlfriend, who pulls him into the back seat of her car and strips for him before they both come to their senses at the same time. His best friend, who he manages to offend by claiming to friends that she wants to fuck him even though she doesn't? She returns at the end of the book and leads him to the bedroom, and leaves the book offering the possibility of future love. Cebulski himself, meanwhile, comes across as a jerk, insensitive and - and this is the failure of the book, I think, as Jeff pointed out to me in the store - seemingly incapable of any real reflection on events beyond "Man, I sure screwed that up." Add those two things - Cebulski's fratboy sensibilities and apparent inability to stop women falling at his feet - together, and the book is nothing more than a shallow teen movie by a John Hughes wannabe trying to show that he really is sensitive, after all. Probably to try and get into someone's pants. It's a shame, because there is some lovely art in here, most notably from Paul Azaceta and Alina Urusov, and the basic idea was strong... but, no, it really is Eh, I'm afraid.

X-MEN ANNUAL #1: I'd love to see what someone like Paul O'Brien would make of this book, because it's all about ongoing storylines and completely impenetrable to someone like me who's not been keeping up with the X-Books at all. It's not just that I don't understand what the backstory is, or who all of the characters are, but I also don't really understand what actually happens in the story itself - Some characters fight and then they stop because there aren't going to be any more mutant babies? Or something? There's nothing discernably Mike Carey-ish about the writing, which is what always fascinates me about the X-Books: They kind of eat writers up and overwrite their styles with the generic X-style. It doesn't matter who writes them, because they're always going to be these sub-Claremont overstaffed tapestries, written for the pre-existing audience. In that case, I guess, it's probably fine and decent, but for a lapsed X-fan like me, kind of Eh.

PICK OF THE WEEK is easily Shazam!, and PICK OF THE WEAK, just as easily, Spider-Man: Reign. I can't get over "I killed my wife with my spider-sperm". I really want to, but I can't. I think it's scarred me for life. TRADE OF THE WEEK is tough, because I've been finishing off the Showcase: Brave and Bold Bob Haney Boy Genius collection this week, but I talked about that last week. Instead, I'll point to Yotsuba&! volumes 1 through 3, which Jeff loaned me as part of my continuing indoctrination into the world of manga, because they were ridiculously fun and full of joy.

But what did the rest of you read this week?

Graeme fights a Dragon!: Reviews of the 1/31 books.

Apparently, my mother-in-law was the least of my worries last weekend, as I instead ended up sick and sneezing and coughing for more or less the rest of the week, feeling sorry for myself only when I realized that being too sick to work also, occasionally, means that I was too sick to really concentrate enough to do that much else as well. So that long review I'd wanted to do about all of the Essential Fantastic Four books? Covered in mental snot. Attempting to read the crayon-laden pornography that was Lost Girls? Lost to the much-easier task of watching Top Chef reruns (Ilan won? What?). It seemed that my apathy was matched by this week's releases, though, which is something. Maybe not a good something, mind you, but something nonetheless.

52 WEEK THIRTY-NINE: Firstly, as Jeff pointed out in the store, look at the ticker along the bottom of the cover: "Montoya fights a Dragon!" it says, twice... but Montoya doesn't even show up in this issue. Victim of last minute rewrites, or is the ticker now just giving us updates on what the characters are doing off-panel? It'll be interesting to see next issue, when either Richard Dragon will be punching Montoya, or the cover will tell us "Booster Gold has a sandwich!" Storywise, it looks as if they're trying to bring the relatively-deadend Lex Luthor plot to a close, and it's not entirely happening smoothly - the "Yeah, remember that whole 'Lex can't have superpowers' thing? Only joking!" of this issue's events doesn't feel as if it's a cleverly-planned reveal as much as an about-face to try and give the thread some dramatic oomph. Nonetheless, hopefully this'll be over next issue and we can get back to the much more interesting other storylines; we already know how the Black Adam plot is going to go, thanks to the DC Nation page this issue, but I want to find out what's going to happen to Ralph, goshdarnit. Eh.

DAREDEVIL #93: And talking of surprisingly obvious writerly touches, I was convinced that I'd missed an issue along the way, for the majority of this book. Everything from the past few months, even reaching back to Bendis's run, suddenly gets tied up so quickly as to feel rushed and unsatisfying - you feel like this issue should've been subtitled "The Reboot Button gets pushed" - and I'm left conflicted. I like where everything is left, but I wanted more from Murdock's return to public life, more from the latest showdown with the Kingpin, and much more from Murdock learning that Foggy wasn't dead after all. Seriously, what happened? This should've been excellent, but ended up just Okay.

EX MACHINA #26: Wait, is this a plot? An actual, real plot that has something to do with the characters' present, as opposed to some random Law And Order plot that loosely ties into flashbacks while the main characters talk about political theory? Yes, it's much more of a generic superhero story, but that turns out to be better fitted for the title that what we've been getting recently, if this Good issue is anything to go by.

MS. MARVEL SPECIAL #1: Strange Marvel publishing decision number one; I have no idea why this story got its own one-shot, because everything about it says "standard fill-in issue" through and through. There's nothing special about the issue at all, from idea to execution, and it also doesn't work as an introduction to the character due to its unwillingness (or inability, who knows?) to actually introduce anything about the character or her status quo to those who are unfamiliar with her, instead throwing back to part of her part that, in retrospect, is best forgotten, and still managing to say nothing about even that. If it had been a filler issue of the regular book - and there's no obvious reason why it couldn't have been - then it would've just been pretty Eh, but as its own special issue? Crap. I'd love to find out how it managed to end up as a one-shot; between this and last week's Civil War oneshot, it's almost as if Marvel editorial is on a mission to devalue the idea of a one-off special.

ULTIMATE CIVIL WAR SPIDER-HAM FEATURING WOLVERHAM #1: And this doesn't help matters, either. You can almost imagine what happened - J. Michael Straczynski manages to convince Joe Quesada to do a comedy issue to lighten Marvel's output in the midst of Civil War, only to discover that he has nothing whatsoever to say, and has to resort to full-page pictures of Marvel characters as - get this - pigs! There's nothing to this; you can't even say that it's not funny, because there's nothing to be funny. There's nothing to this comic at all beyond the idea that it's inherently funny and fulfilling to make a familiar character into a pig and add "Ham" somewhere to their name, and... well, it's not. It's embarrassing, instead; an injoke stretched beyond interest and even more proof that so much of Marvel's output these days has become preoccupied with self-indulgence instead of entertainment. Ass, and worryingly, probably not the height - or depths, maybe? - of Marvel's current love of naval-gazing.

Another short week means that it's surprisingly easy to pick both the PICK OF THE WEEK (Ex Machina) and the PICK OF THE WEAK (Spider-Ham). In the midst of my own preoccupation this week, what with being sick and all, I've been entertaining myself with my TRADEs OF THE WEEK: Showcase Presents Justice League of America Vol. 2 (Gardner Fox's stories mix the simplicity of good children's stories with a trickiness of imagination and novelty, and Mike Sekowsky's art is an ugly little joy), and the absolutely insane (in the best way) Showcase Presents The Brave And The Bold: Batman Team-Ups Vol. 1 that I picked up last night but can't stop reading - Bob Haney's writing must've seemed as strange and offkilter back in the day as it does now, what with his concentrated attempts to make Batman swinging and out-Stan Lee Stan Lee. Why this man didn't become an often-ripped-off genius worshipped by all, I have no idea.

What did the rest of you read this week, you healthy bastards?

The Intervention: Jeff's Review of the 1/21/07 Comics.

You know the deal. Your friend calls you, makes plans to meet them at a bar for a few drinks and, when you show up, you realize that not only did they get to the bar early and begin drinking without you, they showed up five hours early. Now, your friend keeps making out with the stranger next to them (who is toothless and looks like Curly Joe Besser in a platinum wig) and, after trying to start a fight with you when you point out they have what you think might be vomit in their hair, you realize your friend has a problem. And if you're lucky you can make your friend realize it too, before they drive away everyone who cares about them. Obviously, in this case, I'm talking about Marvel Comics and their releases this week. But I think I'm getting a little ahead of myself... Read on and you'll see what I mean.

Oh, and there are spoilers and stuff, so don't read if you don't want 'em...

52 WEEK #38: Kind of a time-waster, in some ways. I think it's already well-established that Nanda Parabat pops up just when you can't go any farther and are right on the edge of collapse, so maybe we could have just opened with that? Also, what fun is the Crime Bible if they've got the same stuff as the regular bible, but with just slightly more absurd details? Give me the the Four Second-Story Men of the Apocalypse any day!

Ooo, and that plea by Eddie Berganza to read Supergirl was uncomfortable, wasn't it? "We're so concerned about making this a book for women, I even asked my assistant--who's a woman--for advice!" And "We wanted Supergirl to be more like a real girl and have a little more weight on her bones!" (Does the tits and ass really count as "bones"?) Sadly the subtext--"ladies, we failed to successfully pander to men, so we're ready to try pandering to you!"--is pretty apparent and sorta amusing in a depressing kind of way.OK.

CIVIL WAR THE RETURN: There's a few things in Civil War--Nitro being part of the instigating event, the prison's location in the Negative Zone--that tie in nicely with the original Captain Marvel (who, to make things more confusing, isn't the original Captain Marvel, but is Marvel's original Captain Marvel) so it seems like this was planned from the start of the event. But, if that's the case, why is "The Return" both unbearably lame and done with so little cognizance of the actual character? I'm not even a big Captain Marvel fan and I found enormous continuity flaws with this (they show Captain Marvel putting on his Nega-Bands, but the dude wasn't able to take 'em off; also, where the hell is Rick Jones? Back in the past, on fire, clanging on his bands, screaming "Why? Why aren't they working??"). If you're gonna bring a character back, shouldn't you bother to at least read the Marvel Handbook entry on him? Plus, why make him the warden of the prison? "We need someone to sign guards' request for overtime, Mar-Vell, and you're the only one we can trust!" Slapdash and hackish, but, to be fair, should I really be surprised when Paul Jenkins can't even do justice to a character he's created? That Sentry story was arguably even worse. This was a really ASS book, and suggests Marvel has already dealt their good shit with regards to the Civil War--it's all rat poison and baby laxative from here on out.

CONNOR HAWKE DRAGONS BLOOD #3: I didn't bother with the first few issues, but probably because they didn't show Connor making out with his smoking-hot Ninja stepmom on the cover. Hopefully, this mini will do the trick and we don't have to read Chuck Dixon's Connor Hawke: The Dragon's Totally Straight, Okay? where Connor really has to overcompensate. OK.

CRIMINAL #4: VERY GOOD stuff, although, you know, some quibblage. Would Leo really leave Greta the recovering addict with access to tons of high grade junk right after he buries his mentor with whom he's made the same mistake? Apparently he would, and I bet it's essential to the "coward" nature Brubaker is observing, but...I dunno. As I said, quibblage. Well worth your time and coin, though.

DAMNED #4: This is also highly GOOD crime stuff which I've been enjoying. I'm not entirely sure on the cosmology--obviously, the creators don't want me to get all the angles yet, but the hardest part about writing magic and fantasy stories is making the reader feel like they know enough of the "rules" to think they're being treated honestly. I suspect we won't know if it all hangs together until the final issue, but I have high hopes.

DOCTOR STRANGE OATH #4: What with all the puns, it's thisssss close to being a high camp self-parody of near Joel ("Ice to meet you, Batman!") Schumacherian proportions, but compared to nearly every other book Marvel put out this week, it's practically Watchmen. OK, is what it is, and probably about as good as Dr. Strange is gonna get anytime soon.

ETERNALS #6: You know, San Francisco is a very difficult town to convey visually, which is why almost everyone falls back on Golden Gate Bridge/Transamerica Pyramid/Gate of Chinatown imagery, but jeez. Thanks to John Romita Jr's apparent disdain for photo-reference (or detail), an average episode of Full House feels more convincingly San Franciscan than this miniseries. Sadly, that's not the worst of its problems, as top-name talent Neil Gaiman sheepishly drags his cosmic superhero tale through its paces with all the verve of a hungover dad at Disneyland. Parts are definitely charming, and Gaiman is one of the few guys who bothers with the idea that superheroes can (and perhaps should) be super-compassionate, but barring some ultra-mega-cosmic finale in the last issue, I kinda feel like an idiot for spending so much buck on so little bang. EH.

FLASH THE FASTEST MAN ALIVE #8: After eight issues, the creative team has clawed all the way up to an EH rating. Flash goes to Vegas, gets laid, and traps an intangible electrical being behind him on his slipstream. The End. New scripter Marc Guggenheim starts in next issue and I wish him all the best because this book is nine kinds of screwed, already.

HELMET OF FATE IBIS THE INVINCIBLE #1: So, I guess this Helmet of Fate thing is, like, DC's old First Issue Special but with Fate's helmet as a joined linking device? As Brian points out, this'll probably do little more than hurt the upcoming Dr. Fate series and that's a bummer because I thought this wasn't a bad little book--lovely art by Phil Winslade and Tad Williams manages to cover in 20 pages what it took Gaiman 6 issues--if a little glib and unnecessary. But as I grow nostalgic in my dotage, I think I prefer the "let's throw shit at the wall and see what sticks" trademark retention to "hmmm, who can we rape and unmask now?" crossover events. Like I said, kinda GOOD.

HEROES FOR HIRE #6: I can't fully hate any book that has both the Headmen and a Doombot trying very hard not to bond with its precocious kid savior, but it didn't really fry my burger, either. Between this, Dr. Strange: The Oath, Punisher: War Journal and (to a much lesser extent) X-Factor, there's a lot of comedic shtick, as if people writing for Marvel are just trying to keep themselves amused for as long as the checks clear, and hoping that enough old-school shout-outs will keep the audience from noticing how embarrassed the creators are to be workiing on the material. Considering the creators have some talent to them, and it's not quite as bad as the cynically serious-faced money-grab Millar and Jenkins spend more and more of their time at, it's struck me as the lesser of two evils up to now. So, OK, kinda, but Marvel, what's that in your hair, dude?

MOON KNIGHT #7: Moves like a greyhound doped up on horse tranquilizers--slow and kinda stupid (apparently every hero in the Marvel Universe is okay with murder and slaughter when the plot requires them to be (or until the plot requires them not to be)). And if this really got delayed because of Civil War, I'd really like to know why since it's nothing but the most generic of tie-ins. Still, the creative team here has created a superhero who continues creeps the fuck out of me in a way that's neither out of line with the character nor particularly common in the marketplace these days. So, OK, even though I guess it's gonna be draggy-ass all the way through this team's run.

PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #3: Maybe Fraction is just making the best of the hand he's been dealt, but this was so badly paced, I really have to wonder--The Punisher stumbles out of his interminable Civil War scene (complete with what I assume is an intentional paradox of a flashback) and ends up in an armory...how, exactly? One scene ends with crazy scientist guy in an elevator and the next starts with him and Frank in the armory... it's as if an entire scene in the middle dropped out (I actually flipped through the pages twice to see if I'd missed something). The first point I can kind of forgive (the scientist has a doo-whatsit pinned on Frank with which he can track him down) but the second is such a fumble of basic pacing, I was kind of mystified.

Also? Establishing shots? They're not just for hacks. Really.

So between all that and the plot-hammering, and the OOC stuff, is it enough to have real pretty art and the re-appearance of the Satan's Claw? I wish it was, but really, this was AWFUL, and I'm really, really hoping that's just a fluke.

ROBIN #158: Brought back those fond days of yesteryear, when two unlikely heroes teamed up and fought an even more unlikely villain, and yet you could read it and pretty much believe it because the creators showed a certain respect and affection for the characters. It wasn't showstopping, even with such lovely art, but it was GOOD.

SILENT WAR #1: Sorry, Marvel: I have successfully made my saving throw against your pretty looking unlikely miniseries. I just couldn't buy The Fantastic Four--humanity's first contact with The Inhumans, mind you--being told by the government to fuck off and being okay with that. I'm starting to feel like Helen Lovejoy from The Simpsons: "Won't somebody please think of the characters?" EH.

SUPERGIRL AND THE LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #26: Sweet art, a strong story, and even a sense of peril in a story where three of the superheroes have Superman level powers--which, if you think about it, is a pretty hard trick to pull off. GOOD, although there's really no way to do an LSH book without it being crufty as hell, is there?

TRUE STORY SWEAR TO GOD #3: A strong little issue, even if the ending might be just a little bit too pat. GOOD stuff, though, and one of those books I'm always glad to see on the stands.

WOLVERINE #50: The final sign that Marvel might need help is this horribly hacky over-priced issue. Not only is it bad enough that an artist like Simone Bianchi is wasted on this dreck (although, to be honest, he's not that great here. Does "Wolverine" mean "make the fight scenes too dark and show a bunch of knees and elbows flying out at the reader" in Italian or someething?), not only is Jeph Loeb at his most scattershot "I'm having a flashback--or a dream! That's it, a dream of a flashback!--and it inspires me to start a fight--or maybe it doesn't! Yeah, maybe I'm really upset about this flashback, instead! Or maybe not!" But we don't even get a full story (yes, I know that should be in quotes, and yes I know I'm echoing Hibbs' earlier "and such small portions!" complaint) for our $3.99. Instead, we're expected to underwrite Loeb's fellating of former boss Damon Lindelof in the form of a "tribute" to Len Wein and Herb Trimpe's first appearance of Wolverine (where Wolverine says Wein's dialogue and thinks, "Like I'd ever say crap like that if I wasn't told to," and "those whiskers on the costume were humiliating and I begged Mac to take 'em off," which, as tributes go, lacks a certain something) that suddenly morphs into the infamous double-page spread of Ultimate Wolverine Versus Hulk for no reason. I think it's meant to be cute, but the unintended message--"I can suppress my gag reflex if you can get me paying work"--is really off-putting. And that's why Marvel needs an intervention: it's not just that Wolverine #50, like Civil War: The Return, is an ASS comic, it's that it's an ASS comic that Marvel presents like the most amazing comic you're going to read all month and really seems to believe it. We're all used to hyperbole from Marvel with the books it publishes but there's a wild-eyed desperation to the shit Marvel is putting out on the market--"Isn't this girl awesome? Show him your teeth, honey!"--that makes me deeply, deeply afraid and, obviously, cranky. Blow Damon Lindelof on your own time, Loeb!

PICK OF THE WEEK: CRIMINAL #4. Go get it now.

PICK OF THE WEAK: CIVIL WAR: THE RETURN. And WOLVERINE #50. And PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #3, while I'm at it.

TRADE PICK: Just this week, I was rounding up a bunch of books on my shelf that I'd read and realized I was never going to read, and the first two Penny-Arcade volumes were in that round-up. I'd enjoyed them, to be sure, but was I really going to re-read them? So of course, along comes PENNY ARCADE VOL 3 WARSUN PROPHECIES and I tore halfway through that thing yesterday afternoon. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but Tycho's prose style is utter fucking catnip for me.

And, hey, this is a trifecta right here. Howzabout that? Please read my savagely critical colleagues below if you haven't already, and lemme know your thoughts in the funny little comments box when you can.

It's not you, it's... No, you're right, it's you: Graeme's letter writing to the book of 1/24.

Dear Marvel, I believe that the acronym that the kids today would use today to describe my feelings about your much-hyped one-shot addition to the whole Civil War "event", CIVIL WAR: THE RETURN, would be - if you will - "WTF?". I have read your comic in question multiple times by this point, admittedly because the first time I read it, I was kind of stunned by it. I read it, and my mind kind of locked up. And not in a good way, Marvel. Not in a good way.

Here's my thing, Marvel: I don't understand what you're doing. I don't get why you're bringing this particular character back, or why you're bringing this particular character back in this particular way. If this were not really a letter that I'm writing to you, but instead a post for an online review blog, I would feel compelled to tell anyone who really cared that it's time for a Spoiler Warning right now, so that we could talk openly, Marvel. I feel that we should talk openly, don't you? Good. So, Marvel, here it is. I don't care about Captain Marvel. And I don't really think that anyone else really does, either.

I mean, seriously. When was the last time that anyone was screaming for the revival of Captain Marvel? Or, for that matter, that anyone really talked about Captain Marvel outside of the context of the fact that he died? That's been the entire value of the character, for the last twenty-odd years - That he was dead, that he was staying dead, and that he died in mundane circumstances that brought a gravity and realism to the Marvel Universe in a way that exemplified the whole "world outside your window" Marvel thing in a way that had never really been done before with one of the main characters before - much in the same way that Barry Allen has been much more worthwhile as a sacrificial Crisis lamb over at DC. So, you know, bringing him back for no immediately apparent reason and in such a dumb, pointless manner (Never mind a manner that was done last week in 52, and in a much more fitting manner, which has really got to hurt, especially considering Steve Wacker, editor of this book, was also editor on 52 when that storyline started... Hey... wait... Does that mean that this could possibly be a more deliberate reference to the Booster thing...? And, now that I've mentioned Barry Allen, dude! This is exactly the way they always have Barry guest-star to be the Silver Age icon in Flash or Green Lantern or whatever! And it's cheesy even then, even when it's very clearly temporary!)... I don't get it. What's the point?

It hasn't been a good couple of years for death in the Marvel Universe, let's face it. Bucky is back, Colossus is back, hell, even (an) Uncle Ben is back, so perhaps this is some kind of weird post-modern self-commentary thing. Are you trying to make some kind of point about the revolving door, worthless nature of "death" in ongoing superhero narratives, Marvel? Is the fact that Captain Marvel returns to us not as the character that he was before, but instead as a buff depressed Emo kid who wants to listen to Evanescence who just happens, is that meant to represent the insecure overly emotional loner that each comic reader is, and... Oh, no, wait, never mind. I forgot, Emo is in at Marvel again. Especially in Paul Jenkins books, where he's overloading on the "To be a hero, I must feel pain" thing (Sentry: "To be a hero, I must be schizophrenic and deal with the fact that I could accidentally destroy the world!" Penance: "To be a hero, I must pierce myself with spikes!" Captain Marvel: "To be a hero, I must use my super-bracelets that give me special mutated cancer!"). Never mind. Maybe I should just go and get some eyeliner or something so that you'll be my friend again.

Don't get me wrong, though, Marvel. The Captain Marvel story, as shitty as it is - and boy, am I glad to know that he's going to be seen in an all-new Captain Marvel #1 real soon! - still wasn't the worst thing about the book. I love that you keep giving work to Paul Jenkins, because who else could make the second story in a oneshot, a story that's been advertised by the editor of changing the entire status quo of the character and making the new Mighty Avengers series possible in the first place, such a non-event. Any hack could've made that half of the book dull, but only Paul could've made it center around a decision that most readers of Civil War thought that he'd made months ago. I mean, how is there any dramatic tension in wondering if the Sentry is going to register with the Superhuman McGuffin Generic Political Act of 2006 - 2007 when we've all already seen him team up with Iron Man and fight people who don't want to register for the last couple of months? There's something to that kind of thing, Marvel - Call it balls, call it gusto, hell, call it laziness that betrays a disdain for the fans who have shelled out money for this bullshit - that's just impossible to ignore.

So, yeah. I don't know what to tell you, Marvel. I was kind of impressed that you'd managed to get some kind of fan expectation about this obviously-last-minute-addition-to-the-schedule oneshot, especially considering the general apathy that's settled into "fandom" about Civil War in general, and to see the book itself be something so breathtakingly worthless and naval-gazingly, cringeworthingly Ass... It kind of brings a lump to my throat.

Oh, no, wait. That's bile. Sorry. Very easy to get the two confused.

Best to the kids. See you this summer!

Love, Graeme

***

Dear Internet,

I'm sorry that I don't have time to write anymore reviews this week - especially considering that Wolverine #50 proved once and for all that, as nice a stylist as Simone Bianchi is, a Wolverine comic that has art that looks like Heavy Metal and a script that reads like it's been produced by a computer fed with Mark Millar and Chris Claremont comics for years on end is still pretty Crap - but it's been an endless fucker of a week - The one highlight of which was the "She's Such A Geek" reading last night at City Lights, headed up by Charlie Anders and Annalee Newitz (who were both very nice to meet, even if I was sick and potentially just talking shit endlessly because I was nervous. If so, I'm sorry, the two of you. And also sorry to Devin Grayson, who was one of the authors doing the reading, and whom I probably bored to tears even though she hid it very well). For those of you who are free next Thursday night and in San Francisco, they're doing another reading at Modern Times on Valencia, and if it's anything as good as last night's, is highly highly recommended - and the Savage Critic illness curse has struck again, so I'm on reduced Criticing for a week. If you want non-reviews, though: PICK OF THE WEEK is probably Criminal #4, PICK OF THE WEAK is easily Civil War: The Return, and TRADE OF THE WEEK is Bryan Lee O'Malley's Lost At Sea, which I finally read this week after months of meaning to do so.

Okay, now I'm going to finish preparing the house for the arrival of my mother-in-law, and also to make a Theraflu and feel sorry for myself.

What did the rest of you read this week?

Hibbs has an hour & talks about 1/21 books.

I totally don't have time for doing reviews.... like ever, which is why I hardly ever post, but here I find myself with about an hour and I don't feel like doing any REAL work (or playing a brief bit of MARVEL: ULTIMATE ALLIANCE -- jeez, I suck hard at "traditional" video games), so let's try to pretend that I post content to this blog, too -- shall we? 52 WEEK #38: A downer of an issue after the last page of last week (I'd probably be happy if the last 14 weeks were ALL about the yellow aliens, to be honest), but at least it does seem like some of the threads are starting to come together. This issue is at least OK. I think I'd rather comment on the "DC Nation" page, and Eddie Berganza's plea for women to pick up SUPERGIRL.

I'm kinda disturbed by the "We want her to be a 'real' teenage girl" when the CONTENT is "Act like Paris Hilton, loath yourself, and try to kill your male role model", because all of that, to me, makes it sound like no one in the DC offices has ever MET a "real" teenage girl. This kind of bothers me even more in the context of DC cancelling THE BOYS, resumably for content, because I think garbage like the current SUPERGIRL comic is far (FAR!) more harmful to the souls of people, or to the "mythic value" of the superhero genre, than Garth & Darick's dirty little minds.

Y'know, even IF "real girls" ARE like that (and I think most aren't), maybe JUST MAYBE its because of messages in the media that encourage those kinds of feelings/behavior. And comics ARE part of the media. I certainly wouldn't give this highly sexualized version (look at the skirt! Look at her body proportions!) of Supergirl to a young girl precisely because its the wrong kind of role model. It's pretty shameful stuff, if you ask me.

CIVIL WAR THE RETURN: ....the fuck? Well, I think we have our first contender for The Very Worst Comic of the 21st Century. What a horrific cluserfuck this is. It's not only totally out of left field to have Captain Marvel be the warden of the Civil War prison, but its hamfistedly done at that with exactly the kind of awkward "DC plot" that Marvel usually strenously avoids. It's not even so much a "return" as much as "Oh, look he's been standing here for a while" And, then, as the old joke goes "...and such small portions, too!" The Sentry story just ate up pages that could have been summarized in 2 panels, max, but it didn't even feel "Sentry-like". Man, I am so glad I didn't take a significant position on this one -- this dog isn't going to hunt. It's worse than CRAP -- it's ASS.

CRIMINAL #4: This, on the other hand is EXCELLENT in all ways, shapes and forms. I have nothing more meaningful to say than that, but I wanted to have at least one great comic in this week's pile.

ETERNALS #6: I absolutely have to criticize this for the artistic depiction of San Francisco, which has been an ongoing problem (again, from ground level, you simply can't see the Golden Gate Bridge from Golden Gate Park), but reaches new heights here as we pull back for the wide shots, and it appears the only reference used was maybe a geologic survey map.

Golden Gate Park is yes, about 50 blocks long, but it is only about 6 blocks wide, and on either side of the park is houses. Lots and lots and lots of houses. The way these scenes are drawn, there'd be horrific casualties, in the thousands, if not tens of thousands, with billions of dollars of property damage.

Ignoring that, the story was fine, if a little awkward from the inclusion of the Civil War elements, but I just couldn't get past the staging at all. AWFUL.

FABLES #57: Neat, Mike Allred draws this issue. Solid issue otherwise, too. GOOD.

HELMET OF FATE IBIS THE INVINCIBLE #1: This issue, in and of itself, is fine -- introducing a new Ibis, who probably won't appear in another DC comic for a year, but, unfortunately, making him way too much like Captain Marvel in doing so. The actual execution is really pretty decent, I might even give it a low GOOD, but this is an obvious go-nowhere character introduction that also doesn't really move the "Dr. Fate" part of the plotline forward. All in all, this is bound to hurt the introduction of the DR. FATE monthly book upcoming -- you'd have thought that DC would have learned from the virtually identical marketing mistake made on POWER COMPANY.

PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #3 CW: Wow, really disliked this issue. Like virulently hated it. Everyone seems totally out of character, or moving to the dictates of the Plothammer. (yeah, as if Luke Cage would let Castle walk with a "he won't forget a punch from Captain America anytime soon!" after he just murdered two guys in front of them). The art is really lovely though, which saves it by giving it an AWFUL.

WOLVERINE #50: I was kind of surprised that the story ended where it did, given this was the double sized issue, and the backup was (while also fun to look at), basically fluffy filler. So, basically, eye candy, no meat. I'm going to go with OK, but feel free to raise that if you're good with just eye candy.

So, I think the PICK OF THE WEEK should be obvious -- CRIMINAL #4 was a fine piece of work, with a lot of solid backmatter, too! I just wish #1 had gone back to press is all...

PICK OF THE WEAK should also be obvious -- CIVIL WAR THE RETURN, which shouldn't have, and isn't really.

For TP/BOOK OF THE WEEK, I think I'm going to go with two left field choices, which your LCS probably doesn't even have anyway. Either the COMPLETE NEMESIS THE WARLOCK BK 1, with the early eyeball-bleeding work of Kev O'Neill, or Paul Chadwick's underlooked WORLD BELOW TP, which I remember as being seriously strange, and gorgeous to look at at the same time.

That's what I got in my hour -- what did you think this week?

-B

Back on the Chain Gang: Jeff's Reviews of 01/17/07 Books

Wow. New York. Actually, that'll probably be another post later in the week, but god damn, did that town knock me on my ass. Since I got back last week, I've been laying low and taking it easy but it's probably time I get back into the swing of things and, since this week was so low-key, the time is right. You'll probably also get another post on some of the trades I've been working through...maybe. I've been so deeply annoyed by that first trade of Paul Jenkins' The Sentry (which I picked up super-cheap) that a long, hectoring screed will be in order.

And finally, for those of you who remember me talking about Secret Writing Project X about five or six months ago, I should finally be able to talk about in the next week or so.

So, that's what I've got for you in the future, but what have I done for you lately?

52 WEEK #37: Since I didn't get to the previous week's books until this week, I read this right along with the previous and together they were pretty enjoyable. At the risk of being spoilerific, it's kind of a bummer when Supernova's reveal isn't quite as cool as all the red herrings (kinda like when Hush wasn't Jason Todd but turned out to be that boring doctor dude after all) but at least it's still satisfactory in a larger arc kind of way. And the paragraph where Dan Didio talked like The Architect from the second Matrix movie was pretty enjoyable as well, so I'd say this was relatively Good stuff.

AQUAMAN SWORD OF ATLANTIS #48: Old school alert!! Bee-you-tiful art by Ricardo Villagran (a name I totally remember from those Savage Sword of Conan days) makes this book worth picking up. I have to admit, though, it conjures the flavor of the book I'd like to read (Aquaman, Underwater Barbarian) rather than the book I feel like I'm reading (Aquaman, Whingey Naif). Still, just to see some gorgeously fine linework? Highly OK.

BIRDS OF PREY #102: Graeme does a pretty good job below pointing out stuff with this ish that doesn't work and misses the big one: the conclusion of the big confrontation between Barbara and Lois retroactively strips the scene (and since it's the bulk of the book, the issue) of any drama. I don't know if it was last minute editorial influence, or a sudden "hey, wait..." realization on Gail's part, but there are better ways to have surprise twists on your confrontation than "Did you really think I was gonna out your operation? Psyche!!" Eh, although I should mention I'm digging the art.

CABLE DEADPOOL #36: Maybe moves a bit too much into the realm of outright absurdity (the book never lacks for it, but the Cable storylines mean that it has to be kept under pretty tight leash), but not enough to mitigate my enjoyment. And although I liked Patrick Zircher's art, I'm glad to have a new artist on the book--so much so, it may take me an issue or two before I can tell what Reilly Brown's bringing to the table. Good.

EXILES #90: Chris Claremont finally takes over the book, with remarkably hacky results. (An imaginary "and that's what would happen if..." scenario followed by danger room training sessions--all we need are the Exiles going on patrol and beating up a band of muggers and we'd have 95% of the Marvel Comics openings I read growing up.) Then Psylocke shows up and the countdown to sexy ninja mindrape begins. Although Claremont doesn't fumble the ball, it's apparent he's on Exiles because its sales are remarkably bulletproof rather than anything in particular he needs to say. And that's probably the way it's going to be until (a) the book gets cancelled; or (b) Brevoort takes Claremont behind the barn to show him the rabbits. In a way, all well and good, but in another way, unfathomably depressing. Quasi-Awful.

FANTASTIC FOUR #542 CW: Exhibit A in why Hibbs should do reviews this week, because his comprehensive overview of why this did and didn't work is beyond what you're gonna get from me. Me, I thought McDuffie did a very good save on Reed's CW motivations, and Mike McKone's art seemed a little more lively than it's been. I don't think we're out of the woods yet--Civil War hasn't left this book "revitalized," so much as "just about broken"--but we're getting there. OK, at the very least.

GHOST RIDER #7: Again, lurve the Corben art--particularly those faces--but WTF is up with the story? I think it's flipping between a fiery showdown between Satan and Ghost Rider, and a flashback detailing the events of Johnny Blaze's death before the beginning of the Ennis/Crain mini, but honestly, that's just a wild fuckin' guess. It reads like someone mapped a bunch of cliches to keyboard macros, dropped their keyboard, stepped on it a few times, and then submitted the result. God-damn lovely art, though. Eh.

GREEN LANTERN #16: There's a line here where someone (I think Alan Scott, but I'll be assed if I can remember for sure) says something like, "Every time you and Carol started to get too close, you and Oliver would go on the road to discover America. But you're not running now, Hal," which manages to be a clumsy retcon, a lazy shortcut (So far, Hal appears to have the same relationship with Cowgirl that he seems to have with every other member of the DCU--she admires him and he feels a fierce loyalty to her for which he will break The Rules--and the only way the reader could assume he felt any differently is that the artists always draw Cowgirl super-hot), and hilariously bitchy all at once. Throw in an annoyingly shrill ubervillain (Abin Sur's son, who is apparently the only person in the universe unclear as to how the Green Lantern succession process works) and you've got the very dregs of Eh(--even if it'll maybe lead to a return to Ysmault or something cool like that).

HELMET OF FATE DETECTIVE CHIMP #1: Although competent, it somehow fails to meet the high bar of expectation set by a comic titled "Helmet of Fate: Detective Chimp." Eh.

PHONOGRAM #4: Yeah, I dunno. Although it could well be because I can't follow the theme and the imagery of the story without reading all the copious notes and essays in the back of each issue, I think there's something vital missing from this story four issues in. Whether through inexperience or an overabundance of caution, Gillen has left the genuine heart out of his narrative (probably the real-life emotional events at the heart of the story as alluded to in the notes) and chosen instead to invest his allegory with dense imagery and fervent argument. Consequently, even as the book trembles on the cusp of justifying Why Pop Matters, I'm not emotionally invested enough to have it matter to me. It could turn that around before the end, of course, but currently I'm frustrated that the book doesn't feel more than OK considering the amount of passion and skill being put into it.

SHE-HULK 2 #15: Both Burchett and Slott seem off their game here: although Burchett's work usually looks cartoony, this issue doesn't have his usual top-notch storytelling, and Slott's Agent Cheesecake is just one of several neither-fish-nor-fowl conceits. If they're trying to change gears on this book to save or boost sales, they'd better change 'em quickly and a little more smoothly. Eh.

SPIDER-MAN REIGN #2: There's a certain excitement that can accompany a very bad comic book: unrestrained by good taste or commmon sense, the creator can take the reader to an utterly unexpected place. And for about four panels, where a fat, aged Hypno-Hustler suddenly appears, I was struck giddy at the possibility Kaare Andrews might make the entire issue a showdown between an decrepit, senile Spider-Man and his absolute lousiest villain. Unfortunately, Andrews quickly veers from the realm of the insane and ill-considered back to the realm of the dull and ill-considered, but boy did those four panels give me hope. Awful work, as much as it pains me to say so.

SPIRIT #2: A nice improvement over the first issue--the sudden passage of time wasn't handled as elegantly as I would've liked but that's a quibble--and a Very Good little read. Unlike Graeme, I'm not too worried about how long this book'll last--Darwyn Cooke is clearly meant for better things than easing The Spirit's transition from creator-identified signature character to quirky corporate asset--but I'll enjoy the ride while I can.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #104: That fight scene went on and on even though neither Bendis nor Bagley had their hearts in it at all, but the emotional scenes worked really well. Not sure if it was worth the extra buck, exactly, but at least I didn't pay it for an eight page black-bordered series summary. Good.

WISDOM #2: Read this right after Phonogram #4, which was amusingly apt as the two books cover surprisingly similar ground. Since I didn't read the first issue, it didn't make a lick of sense to me, which didn't hurt it much, truth be told. Nice art, general insanity, and the sort of thing "New Marvel" would throw at you back in the day. Good stuff if you're a fan of the peculiar.

Y THE LAST MAN #53: I couldn't buy some of the events in this based on the timeframe (I don't care how much closure somebody needs, I can't imagine anyone looking in a sewers for a body years after the fact unless it was presented as the mother of all quixotic quests) but I liked the, I dunno, how brazen it was about its thematic concerns. Still, it felt more like an item on BKV's dwindling to-do list for the book, and needed more finessing than it got. OK, I guess.

PICK OF THE WEEK is SPIRIT #2, one of the few books I didn't beat until it bled from the ears. PICK OF THE WEAK is SPIDER-MAN REIGN #2, which proved to me that I'll take bad & crazy over bad & derivatively dull any day. No TRADE PICK because I hope to cover that at more length shortly.

And you?

Would Sir or Madam like to start with a restaurant review?: Graeme's review of the 1/17 books.

Before I start, I just have to say this: If you're in San Francisco and you like the cheeseburger, then get your ass to Nopa on Divisadero and Hayes. It's the best cheeseburger in the city. The rest of the food is pretty damn good as well - you can add to your impending heart condition by having the bacon, onion and gruyere cheese flatbread starter like we did, and their doughnut hole dessert is very nice indeed - but that cheeseburger. Man. 52 WEEK THIRTY-SEVEN: Well, this is obviously the real end of act two, then, with a couple of reveals (including, possibly, just why last week's death of Animal Man was so underwhelming - It wasn't meant to be that dramatic, considering what happens this week?) and an ending that suggests that all of the characters are where they're meant to be for the ending to begin. It's surprisingly Good considering last week's unevenness, even with the strange fact that the big reveal of Supernova's identity is spoiled by the cover, and the "shock ending" is revealed in the DC Nation text page...

BIRDS OF PREY #102: Depressingly Eh. Ignoring the fact that almost nothing actually happens this issue - Manhunter starts the story losing a fight and ends the story about to fight the same character, which doesn't help the feeling of wheels being spun - we're midway through the latest plotline and I still feel as if I'm missing something. Am I supposed to know who Spy Smasher is? She's the antagonist in this story, and Babs has made references to knowing her and having been to school with her, but I still don't really have a clue as to who she actually is, or why she's going after Oracle, and that's a major problem if I'm to buy into her as a threat to the team, or to this story in general. Likewise, the new team is made up of too many characters to allow for characterisation, one of the strengths of the book back when the core cast was only three people; right now in particular, Gypsy and Judomaster could be anyone for all their personalities have been shown. Like I said, it's depressing, because this book normally manages to mix character and plot much more smoothly, but I'm hoping that next issue will explain Spy Smasher enough for me to get what's happening and why, and then future storylines will allow for more character to come through.

FANTASTIC FOUR #542: Yes, Dwayne McDuffie's first issue as writer has Reed Richards giving an explanation behind his pro-registration stance in Civil War that fits in with his character slightly better than what we've previously seen, and all of the other characters sound a lot more like their old selves in general, but I can't help but wonder if this was always meant to be the plan under JMS's reign anyway. The way that Reed is shown to have tried to hide this motivation behind weaker ones feels too planned, in a strange way, to have suddenly come from McDuffie alone (especially when Sue Richards appears at the end and essentially says "I didn't buy the other motivations, but this one works!"); either that, or he's very good at immediate retcons based on fan feedback. Whichever, the issue is still just Eh; McKone's art deadens the book, being static and devoid of the kind of dynamism that this book should have given its Kirby pedigree, and McDuffie's injection of common sense isn't enough to hide the fact that this "Civil War is so important, it tears Marvel's most important family apart!" plotline is going nowhere fast.

MARVEL ADVENTURES: THE AVENGERS #9: Jeff Parker's winning streak continues with this fun, shamelessly dumb, story where all of the Avengers get turned into Modocs ("Killing" having become "Conquest", because this is a book aimed at kids), and that's still not the funniest idea in the book (Personally, I'm a fan of Karl, the inept evil AIM scientist). Yes, the dialogue is a little self-consciously juvenile (which makes sense, considering the target audience), but there's something about the fast-paced, free-wheelingness of the storytelling here, and the lack of the heroes fighting with each other every two seconds, that makes this one of the more appealing Marvel books that I've read in a looooonnng time. Very Good, because it's Very Dumb.

PHONOGRAM #4: I don't share Kieron Gillen's love of the Auteurs or Luke Haines, but nonetheless, this book continues to work for me on multiple levels, but I'm not sure how much of that is because of the fact that I was the right age and in the right place to understand all of the references herein. As the series continues, it seems to unravel - this issue is not only less like the Hellblazer meets Britpop of the first issue, but it's less focused than everything that came before, as well; scenes seem to drift into other scenes, and characters traipse through with dialogue that calls back to earlier scenes with no other context. It fits in well with this issue's plot, where the main character is in a world made up entirely of memory and iconography, but I may just be thinking that because I recognized Damon Albarn and Jarvis Cocker without having to be told about them in the text pieces at the back of the book. As with every issue, I wonder if those of us who aren't in our late twenties/early thirties and British get anything out of this at all, and think that it's as Good as I find it.

SHE-HULK #15: Okay, so there's a line in this that firmly places the book in the post-Civil War world (Clay Quartermain's reference to a new SHIELD Director), and considering what's going on in the rest of the book, kind of gives away that, yes, that whole Superhuman Registration Act is still in effect after the series so Iron Man probably wins. And yet... the book still has no novelty. The lighthearted tone of the earlier three years is gone, replaced by angst that doesn't feel genuine at all, and art from Rick Burchett that is either half-assed or the victim of really bad inking; it reads, as Hibbs said in the store on Friday, as if both creators were phoning it in. So, yeah. Pretty Eh, really.

SPIDER-MAN: REIGN #2: It's not Dark Knight Returns anymore, that's for sure. It's not good, either, mind you, but at least the Frank Miller worship is lessening. Credibility gets stretched throughout the whole book, but I really get the feeling that Kaare Andrews doesn't care about anything other than the grand statement he's convinced himself that he's making with this book. What that statement is, it's not entirely clear; he's trying to say something about the government using its great power without great responsibility in this post-9/11 world, I think, but he's doing it in the most ham-fisted way possible, with sledgehammer media swipes and inept politicians being misled by their staff, all mixed in with a Spider-Man story that completely lacks the pathos or humor that underpins the character. It's not completely horrible - it's very nice looking - but it's pretty Crap overall.

THE SPIRIT #2: This, on the other hand, is a cartoonist taking on a classic character and doing everything right. It doesn't hurt that (blasphemy!) Darwyn Cooke draws a more attractive P'Gell than Eisner, considering her role as the ultimate Femme Fatale, of course, but there's just so much goodness to be found here. The writing is pitch perfect, managing the right mix between lighthearted romp and melodrama (P'Gell's confession scene felt like classic Eisner in a lot of ways), and visually, the book is amazing - even beyond Cooke (and inker J. Bone) doing some gorgeous linework, Dave Stewart's colors continue the beautiful work he did in New Frontier. It's really an Excellent book, which probably means that it'll get cancelled within a year. Sigh.

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - THE SPACE BETWEEN #1: It says a lot about the spirit of this adaptation that this story, set in the first season of the series, completely captures the tone of what the show was like back then, down to the sterility and awkwardness of a team not being entirely sure what they were up to yet. The writing is exactly like a first season episode, which does kind of beg the question, "Couldn't it have been better?" The art is the main problem with the book, though; it's blocky and doesn't fit the overly 80s, shiny, look of the show at all, nor does it have any real spark on its own merits, either. It's a competent enough tie-in that'll probably sell to the hardcore fanbase, but to casual fans...? Eh, best avoided.

PICK OF THE WEEK is The Spirit, easily, although giant heads and crap scientist mean that Marvel Adventures: The Avengers is pretty recommended as well. PICK OF THE WEAK is Spider-Man: Reign, because it misses the point of Spider-Man in order to make its own point that it's uncertain of, and that's... not so fun to read. TRADE OF THE WEEK isn't a new book at all, but something that came out towards the end of last year - SEVEN SONS, the retelling of the seven brothers myth set in 1850s America that AiT/Planet Lar put out. It's a wonderful book, telling the story sparsely but enjoyably, with some nice art. Highly recommended, and that's before you get to the text piece at the back of the book talking about the history of the myth, which only makes the whole package all the better.

Next week: My mother-in-law's in town, so maybe no reviews. But what did the rest of you read this week?

More reviews... from the future!

The end of my two-day reviewing stint, and these are both books that aren't out yet (I got to see them in preview PDF format; the perks of being a snarky bastard on the internet). Anyway, one's a full-color Image book about superheroes, and the other is a black and white graphic novel about werewolves. You can work out which one's which. DYNAMO-5 #1: When this was first announced, I made some comment about the solicit making it sound as if it was Six Feet Under with added superpowers or something: Family dealing with the death of a father? Get Peter Krause on the phone. In reality, though, it's something entirely different, in concept as well as tone. Jay Faerber's one of these writers who's always seemed to somehow miss his due on a regular basis (Sean McKeever would've been on that list as well if he hadn't just been poached by DC and suddenly become an unexpected big player this week, to completely skip subjects for a second), and that's a feeling reinforced by this first issue - The idea of a bastard of a superhero having five illegitimate children, each of whom has one of his powers, is an interesting one, and bringing those children together to take the place of a father none of them knew after his death a nice twist on the "legacy superhero" concept, but the execution is where it's at, though, focusing less on the kids but the superhero's widow. The dialogue that may get a little expositionary at times, but there are some nice lines throughout the book suggesting that Faerber knows when not to play it entirely straight, and an end-of-book splash-page/last line of dialogue that Mark Millar would kill for. Also worth pointing out is artist Mahmud Asrar, whose work is reminiscent of a chunkier Yanick Paquette, and just lovely, easy-on-the-eye superhero stuff. Overall, it's not Six Feet Under at all; it's family drama meets melodrama meets genre action - it's the TV show Alias, if Alias had stayed Good for more than a season.

FIRST MOON: This new coming-of-age story from the same creators behind last year's "Continuity" is an interesting take on some familiar themes. You have the horrors of adolescence redressed as a classical horror story, you have the historical epic, and you have a family drama all in one package that somehow manages to be not only coherent but surprisingly enjoyable. Jason McNamara's got a nice way with the dialogue in the more down-to-earth family dynamic between the main characters, giving you a quicker "in" to the story than the somewhat (for me, at least) colder opening in the historical part of the story, and there's more than a little bit of humor involved with the main character's discovery of his secret (and even more humor in its resolution at the end of the book, making it into a bit of a shaggy dog story). Tony Talbot's artwork has some subtle changes for the different time periods (so subtle, in fact, that I don't know how intentional they may be; I wondered more than once whether I was making a connection between the historical art and the woodcut artwork you'd find from the period that wasn't really there...), but overall has a pleasing similarity to the way I remember EC and Warren horror artwork, if slightly rougher around the edges. It's not a perfect book - the climax to the story gets bogged down with unnecessary exposition between the parents and scenes that slow down the overall plot somehow (including the appearance of a couple of characters that seems unusual and an awkward set-up for a potential sequel), in particular - but it's Very Good, and enhanced by the text piece at the back of the book, giving some background on the historical elements used in the main story. Something that I'd forgotten until the mention of "for younger readers" in a suggested reading list at the back of the book, was that this is a book intended for a audience of 8 and upwards... Re-reading it as a Young Adult book made me like it even more, and answered some of the questions I'd had on the first go-through, in a strange way. Worth checking out, anyway, and enough to make me think that McNamara, at least, is probably about to be poached by Vertigo or someone sooner rather than later.

For those who're curious, First Moon comes out this Wednesday, I think, and Dynamo-5 is due in March. You can read other Dynamo-5 reviews here, here and here, and Ian Brill wasn't as enthused about First Moon as I was, as you can read here. Me, I'm going to go and relax for the rest of this holiday weekend, enjoying the fact that this week only has four workdays as well. Next week: Back to reviewing things that you've probably all read already.

I don't want to live in a War that's got no end in our time: Graeme's reviews of the 1/10 books.

First of two sets of reviews this weekend - I got sent a couple of previews that I want to write about tomorrow, but right now, let's deal with the books that actually appeared in stores this week, shall we? 52 WEEK THIRTY-SIX: This is a really good issue to show what works and what doesn't about the whole series. The big action scene that ends with the death of a beloved character? It just doesn't work. The execution is underwhelming; rushed, with art that just doesn't sell the action at all (partially, interestingly enough, because of the coloring, I think. Imagine the same artwork in darker colors) and a weird lack of sincerity - It feels as if the creators decided that they probably needed a fight scene, but couldn't really bring themselves to care about it that much. But just a few pages later, when it's dealing with the ongoing mysteries of Rip Hunter (making his first appearance in the book, only half a year after first being mentioned), Supernova and Skeets and dealing with easter eggs for longtime DC fans, it's really enjoyable. Is that proof that the book is just more cerebral than action-based, or midway exhaustion kicking in for the writers? Okay.

BLADE #5: What with the cover having not only the "Casualties of War" banner, but also a caption saying "A Civil War tie-in featuring Wolverine", you kind of get the feeling that this is a book that really wants you to know that it ties into Civil War. Problem is, it doesn't. Oh, sure, there's a McGuffin that SHIELD recruits Blade to capture Wolverine for some reason or another, but ultimately, it doesn't really matter. This is pretty much a fill-in issue, and a really old-fashioned one at that, going with the once-familiar idea that two heroes had met in the past before either of them were heroes. As much as it's a Red Skies book in terms of Civil War importance, it's still nostalgically enjoyable, Good, and feels like good Chris Claremont in a strange way.

CIVIL WAR #6: This may be somewhat blasphemous, but does anyone really care anymore? The announcement that issue 7 will ship three weeks later than the last ship date (which was two weeks later than the ship date that it was originally announced for, which was two months earlier) elicited little more than shrugs and bemusement from all but the most hardcore Marvel zombies, and the online news cycle has already moved on to who the New Avengers are, post-CW. Somehow, this series already feels as if it should be over already, that it's outstayed its welcome, which can't be a good thing for Marvel. Part of that may be because this series doesn't really have a plot, as such; I'm sure I've complained before about the fact that this is a book that's all about showing "shocking" events with no context, which completely undercuts any and all dramatic tension, rendering the cliffhanger ending of this book kind of meaningless: There's about to be a big fight, but as a reader I don't feel as if it's "the final battle" no matter how many times I'm told that it is by the characters (who're showing a really unusual self-awareness by referring to this as their "finale", bringing me out of the story as I read it), because it doesn't feel any different from the big fight in #3-4. I don't believe that the stakes have been raised, because nothing that I've read has actually given me that impression. Crap.

JUSTICE SOCIETY OF AMERICA #2: I dread to think what people who aren't really familiar with DC continuity would make of this book, which seems to be entirely based around the books that Geoff Johns read in the mid-80s - the Detroit League and Levitz Legion get the somewhat unexpected shout-outs in this issue - while marrying 1990s-style plotting with 1980s-style dialogue. Me, I am familiar with DC continuity, so I kind of enjoyed it, even the new Nazi supervillains who are kind of ridiculous, but it just seemed like the most insular superhero book imaginable. Okay.

POLYGLOT AND SPLEEN #1: I admit it, I picked this up because of the title and the advertisements on the back: "The Romanti-Goth A to Z Coloring Book is an alphabetical trip through the aesthetic world of our favorite Victorian house dwelling," reads one, while the other tells us that "There's a huge difference between a corset and a SINched corset". Who knew? Those ads give you a good idea of what the comic itself is like: Overly romantic and melodramatic in the most Goth-y (as opposed to Gothic, if you see the difference) way, with narration like "At times, I saw through the eyes of a mother, a brother, a lover. Had I truly swapped with another?" and art that makes Emily The Strange look detailed. Pretty Crap for me, but I'm at least ten years outside of the target audience, I think.

SQUADRON SUPREME: HYPERION VS. NIGHTHAWK #1: It's a strange world where "Well, that wasn't nearly as offensive as I was expecting" is a compliment. But that's more or less the best that you're going to get out of me for this book, that takes Marvel's Ultimate Superman and Ultimate Batman to Darfur for an adventure that takes place against a backdrop of real life genocide. The whole concept still strikes me as tasteless, but the execution avoided any obvious "With our powers, we can save the world!" well-meaning yet meaningless posturing, and writer Marc Guggenheim's final page text piece (where he admits, "it's not the kind of thing that you're supposed to write escapist fiction about," before going on to explain why he made the choice to) goes someway towards lessening the nasty taste in my metaphorical mouth. It's still only Eh for me - I just can't get into this "gritty" Squadron Supreme - but that almost feels like a win, compared to what I was expecting.

THUNDERBOLTS #110: Warren Ellis goes broad in his first issue of Marvel's now-with-more-Suicide-Squad villain book (Speaking of which, is anyone else as excited as I am about the announcement that DC is doing a new Suicide Squad series with John Ostrander?); the good guy is ridiculously "good", the main characters are charismatic but without morals (Something that's even in the dialogue, in case readers miss it: "You, on the other hand, have neither morals nor ethics") and there are jabs at America's news media. Ellis is clearly slumming it, but you get the idea that he's enjoying himself doing so, especially with the exceptionally obvious way that he's positioning the Thunderbolts in the Marvel media as the old Gerry Anderson "Thunderbirds" series - Tracy Island becomes Thunderbolts Mountain, complete with the scenery rolling back to let vehicles launch, and he's even as unsubtle as to include the slogan "Thunderbolts are go!" F.A.B., Warren. I can't tell if that shows contempt for the work, the audience, or just a writer who's wondering how much he can get away with on what his publisher clearly considers a much more important franchise than he does. For all the unoriginality, however, it's very readable, and I'm sure that the Marvel fans that this is aimed at will eat it up and declare it revolutionary. Eh for me, though.

WELCOME TO TRANQUILITY #2: I was surprised, upon checking, to see that this wasn't a creator-owned book. It feels like one, for some reason, in the same way that it also feels like a twisted version of Alan Moore's ABC line from a few years back, especially in the opening that switches formats to suggest different media two times before actually starting "the story". Moore's ABC isn't the only thing that this reminded me of, though; it's also similar in the treatment of superheroes and styles of superhero comics to The Intimates, Joe Casey's sadly-forgotten series of a few years back. None of this is to slight Gail Simone, because this is clearly her story - there's something to this that feels like the snark and sex from Birds of Prey given freer reign, perhaps because the main character's narration is very close to Black Canary's from that book - but it's a book very aware of its predecessors as well, if that makes sense. I'm still not sold on Neil Googe's art, entirely, but there are parts where he's spot on as often as there are where his style overrides the content. It's not entirely successful, yet, but nonetheless it's probably the most interesting of the books released this week. Good.

PICK OF THE WEEK is Welcome to Tranquility, because it's ambitious and it's different, and that's more than can be said for a lot of superhero books these days, let's face it. PICK OF THE WEAK is Civil War, because with each new issue, it becomes more clear that there's not really any there there. TRADE OF THE WEEK has me torn; of the books that came out this week, I know that SHOWCASE PRESENTS JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA VOL. 2 will be awesome even though I haven't read it, but I'm still working my way through the ESSENTIAL FANTASTIC FOURs - I'm midway through volume 4 now - and those really are some amazingly good comics, daring in way that almost all superhero comics have forgotten to be.

Tomorrow: Dynamo 5 and First Moon. But for now, what did the rest of you think of this week?

Snark: The Final Frontier

Not exactly a new link, but maybe you haven't seen this before: Wil Wheaton (Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher) reviews and deconstructs STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION, in a wonderfully snarky fashion: http://www.tvsquad.com/bloggers/wil-wheaton/

-B

Super, man: Graeme's reviews of the 1/4 books.

First off, Arune? Tell me you're as gutted as I am about the OC's cancellation. Secondly, happy new year to those who celebrate it. Or even those like Kate and I, who went to bed early and somehow still woke up at midnight by accident.

Thirdly, comics!

ALL-STAR SUPERMAN #6, SUPERMAN #658 and SUPERMAN CONFIDENTIAL #3: There's something really strange going on when three of the four ongoing Superman books ship in the same week, and all of them are surprisingly good (Of the four titles, the one that didn't ship on Thursday is definitely the weakest: Geoff Johns and Richard Donner's somewhat hyped Action Comics). Interestingly enough, all of them share a theme of Superman's heartbreak, whether it be All-Star's death of Pa Kent, Superman learning that his actions (and morality) will, accidentally, lead to the end of humanity, or Confidential's Lois telling Superman that they can never be a couple. Unsurprisingly, All-Star Superman is easily the best of the three, an Excellent one-off that is full of little emotional moments that ring true even in the middle of the multi-Superman larger plot - The Lana/Pete/Clark scene in particular felt real, and Superman's despair following the funeral of his father was wonderfully sad even within all the surrounding melodrama. And what melodrama, with the referencing of the mainstream DC Universe crossover DC: One Million and the hints of the hopeful future that awaits ("New Krypton", and the identity of the golden Superman... Ah, remember when superhero stories were brave enough to have happy endings?), not to mention the reveal of just who the Unknown Superman from the second issue actually is... Grant Morrison manages to write a story that is classic, contemporary and exactly what you want a Superman story to be.

Superman Confidential, on the other hand, has Darwyn Cooke writing a more intentionally old-school take on the character - Less superheroics, more Superman vs. the Gangsters with a little bit of Kryptonite thrown in. But it works, in part because the writing knows when to step back and let Tim Sale's art (and Dave Stewart's coloring) shine. Sale carries the book in the best way, here - It's not that the writing's weak, but it does seem to have been written with the intention of giving the artist the chance to show off, and Sale rises to the occasion and then some. Not to do the traditional bagging on Jeph Loeb or anything, but there's something to be said for seeing Sale do a book that's so intentionally fun. Very Good.

Last but not least, Kurt Busiek seems to get settled into his Superman run properly with this oddly-announced "end of book one" issue that wraps up the Days of Future Past-style flashforward with an unusual moral: In order to keep humanity from being extinct before the end of the century, Superman has to stop fighting evil. Which is... unexpected, to say the least, and definitely something that makes me want to read what happens next. The future storyline works better than it has any right to, in part because it avoids the cliches you expect - The heroes save the day by defeating the villain, but that doesn't mean that there won't be other villains, or that they weren't already screwed to begin with. But even in the middle of this depressathon, there are moments of optimism, and there's something to be said for Jimmy Olsen's last words. Very Good, even if I couldn't stop wondering whether any of this has anything to do with the new DC mega-event that Busiek is apparently writing all through the book.

And now, onto less-Super comics:

THE ALL-NEW ATOM #7: As Jeff points out, Hibbs had decided that this was his second-favorite book of the week (after All-Star Superman, I think?), and thus handed it to me to read. And, just like Jeff, I didn't really see whatever it was that Brian saw. It's Okay, but I didn't really get knocked over by it, partially because the guest-art by Mike Norton seemed to be a really weak Byrne rip-off, and partially because I felt as if I didn't understand what was going on for half the issue, due to all the characters who didn't really get introduced clearly and callbacks to earlier issues that I hadn't read. But I did like that the quotations have now moved past science and onto more random subjects. It was fun enough that I'll end up checking out another issue at some point, at least. That said, when will the name of the comic change to "The Same Atom You Read About Last Month, No It's Still Not Ray Palmer, Sorry"?

THE IMMORTAL IRON FIST #2: Still more fun than any book called Iron Fist that doesn't start "Power Man And..." has any right to be, Ed Brubaker and Matt Fraction manage to make me smile by bringing Luke Cage in for a guest shot already without it seeming gratuitous, as well as callouts to Night Nurse and Heroes for Hire (and a Civil War reference or two, too). Bizarrely, all of this just makes it feel like a really good Marvel book from the '70s (and more Marvel Universe-y than all of the various Civil House of Decimation and Annihilations that we've seen over the last few years, as well). Or, maybe I should say, it feels like a really Very Good book.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #5: Seriously, how has it taken five issues of this series - Six, if you include the zero issue - to get this far into the story? Shouldn't this have been, like, an issue three or something? You can tell that Brad Meltzer loves the characters he's writing, but he loves them too much, I think - There's no momentum to the story because he's too reverential to do anything really mean to anyone, and you know it. There's not even an illusion of tension or suspense. Crap.

THE NEW AVENGERS #26: Yeah, I know it came out last week, but I just wanted to say the following: Brian Michael Bendis, I know that you're completely excited that you're writing some of your favorite characters and that you have a ridiculous amount of creative freedom - The kind of freedom that allows you to do something as self-consciously David Lynchian as this one-off that is all about mood and atmosphere (and really rather beautiful art, from Alex Maleev, especially the Klimt infuence he brought to Wanda) instead of, you know, plot or common sense - but still. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should. Eh, because as much as the writing was utterly pointless and the characters so out of character that they could've been anyone, really, that really was some nice artwork.

NEWUNIVERSAL #2: Hey, look! The head of the secret organization that was created to hunt down superpowered people is actually celebrated stage and screen actor, Rene Auberjois! Now Rene can go and hunt down Sawyer from Lost, in this latest issue of the overly photo-referenced imagining of Marvel's failed second universe from twenty-one years ago. It's all very competent, but I found myself not really caring about any of it - It seems as if Warren Ellis is sleepwalking already, which is a shame. Eh.

PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #2: Goddammit, that's a second issue of this that I've enjoyed, despite disliking the Punisher and disliking Civil War. Good, and I hope this doesn't keep up. What will it do to my reputation?

SCARFACE #1: So, I've never seen the movie "Scarface". I've heard about it, and I know what it's about and all, but I've never actually seen it. What can I say? Al Pachino snorting coke and introducing people to his leetle friend never really seemed like my idea of a good time. But nonetheless, I kind of had an idea of what the movie would be like, and it's not anything like this comic book turned out to be. Was the movie as broad and trying-to-be-dark a comedy as this is? I really don't have any idea how to review this, in a strange way, because I feel like my disliking it is because I just didn't get it, and didn't know if that's because there's no "it" to get, or I just should see the movie in order to understand. A confused Eh, then.

PICK OF THE WEEK is All-Star Superman, because all superhero comics should have this mix of imagination and emotional melodrama and action. Although if they could do that on a more regular schedule, that would be preferable. PICK OF THE WEAK is Justice League, because... well, there's just no there there, you know? I can't believe that we're five issues into the damn series, and we're still getting what feels like filler with the Vixen scenes each issue. Identity Crisis may have sold well for DC, but that doesn't mean that Brad Meltzer doesn't need an editor these days. TRADE OF THE WEEK, for me, is Essential Fantastic Four Vol. 3 - I'll go on about this more another time, but I've been reading through all of the Essential Fantastic Fours recently, and it's midway through volume 3 where everything comes into focus all of a sudden, and BAM, it really does become the World's Greatest Comic Magazine.

What did everyone else read over the last couple of weeks? And how were your holidays, too?

Out With The Old, In With the 01/04 New Comics...

Aw, I feel sorry for you. Hibbs and I shot the shit for a couple hours on Friday and even though he was far more engaged, critically sharp and emotionally invested in the week's comics, he probably won't be posting because he's got the kid, the family and the store. On the other hand, I will be posting because I've got potentially a free hour or two on my hands even though I'm kinda indifferent to this week's releases. But I'm gonna be in NYC with Edi next week and that's definitely gonna keep me from posting then, so... 52 WEEK #35: If you ask me, somebody flinched and made the book's first real cliffhanger a non-event. At the end of issue #34, Luthor pushes a button so that all his manufactured superheroes will lose their powers in mid-fly-by parade. Silly me, I figured this would mean that: (a) Luthor would have to take it on the lam so as to escape tremendous public outrage (and leading to the events we see at the beginning of Superman: One Year Later); and (b) that Steel story would finally get going because what's-her-name would be toast. But, nope. Luthor fields a single inquiring phone call by saying, "Yeah, gee, hmmm. There must've been some kind of problem, howabout that?" (Yeah, like pacemaker manufacturers could get away with that if everyone wearing them suddenly dropped dead...) Plus, it turns out that big red button Luthor pushed was marked "everyone I gave powers to except Infinity Inc." so that storyline drags on as well. Plus, wasn't that Brian Bolland Zatanna back-up last week awesome? And last week? An Eh start to Act III, I think.

ALL NEW ATOM #7: See? If Hibbs was writing reviews, he would be telling you why this was his second-favorite book of the week. Whereas I thought it was OK--possessing a certain loopy charm, certainly, but still a little uneven. Also, my default reaction to "cowboys in comic books" is "dull," and my default reaction "superheroes who shrink" is also "dull," so the idea of cowboys versus superheroes who shrink? It's a testimony to Simone's writing that I didn't find it "deathly dull."

ALL STAR SUPERMAN #6: By contrast, this story also lays on the loopy charm but it couldn't be less dull. It helps that you've got an artist who's going to make the most out of a panel like a young Superman and Krypto sitting on the moon looking at Earth, but there's also a lovely little bit of prestidigitation by Morrison so that the nostalgic feelings one gets in reading an issue like this actually dovetails nicely with the feelings of one of the character's. It's an Excellent issue, and worth reading if you've got even a sliver of appreciation for DC's Silver Age.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #537: As I've said for the last six issues or so, I prefer JMS's take on the Civil War to Millar's: there's a nice little speech here by Captain America (well, by Mark Twain, really) that has the character's actions make sense (more or less). Unfortunately, dear Jesus, the plot hammering! Spidey goes to meet up with the fugitive heroes, and rather than immediately using them to put his wife and dear aunt in a safehouse, he gets all carried away and is off to raid the Baxter Building with everyone and leaves his wife and aunt in a motel in a cheap motel at the corner of Crack and Hooker. Attaboy, Spidey! Eh, because it made me apoplectic, but probably OK for you.

BATMAN #661: This was so by the numbers, I read it in two minutes while taking a leak. (Yes, it was kind of a long leak.) Sorry to see Johnny Karaoke go, though. Or, wait, am I happy? I still can't tell. Eh.

BONEYARD #23: I read it and liked it, as I always do. But it's been so long since I read the last issue, I still don't have much idea what's at stake. (Come to think of it, maybe I missed last issue.) Tell you what, I'll give it a No Rating if you promise to hunt down one of the trades and try this, okay?

BOYS #6: So violent and perverse you'd think Geoff Johns wrote it!! No, not really, but, hamster aside, last week's entrailicious 52 was much more shocking (and cynical) than this issue, I thought. I liked the character interaction at the end here, I guess, but thanks to a recent post over at the Newsarama blog, I can put my finger on why it also bothered me: the "you touched my stuff" motivation on the part of Butcher is, gruesome little twist notwithstanding, pretty standard shorthand for how you tell the anti-heroes from the villains in an exploitation film. If the superhero medium is getting to the point where a Geoff Johns fight scene reads more like a Garth Ennis fight scene, Ennis is going to have to bring a little more genuine sentiment to the game than that. OK, but it's not shoring up as strongly as I'd like. I'm still willing to give it time, though.

BULLET POINTS #3: Maybe I wasn't paying attention but, unless JMS lays out how the bullet that killed Doc Erskine and Ben Parker ended up causing the death of Nick Fury, Mr. Straczynski has cheated even further on his own "all it takes is one bullett.." premise. So I guess this is just an exercise in the alter-ego equivalent of wife-swapping, then? Bummer. Drops to Awful.

CIVIL WAR #6: Yes, I read it. No, I'm not going to tell you about it. I will say that our last copy left the shop at the very end of my shift, and the sub who got it looked about as thrilled as if I'd handed him a dead bird with his books. (The three people who hung out and read the reader's copy at the counter seemed pretty stoked, though.) Parts of it were competently done, I thought, but they're still kind of outweighed by the retarded parts. Eh.

CIVIL WAR FRONT LINE #10: (Spoilers, by the way.) Now, I haven't followed this title religiously or anything (I may've missed the last issue? Or two?) but I've read most of it and the Speedball stuff had easily been my favorite part of the book. So one thing that really struck me about his transformation to Penance was that it seemed kinda... off. I can buy that, because of the last ten issues of shit heaped on him, Robbie Baldwin has turned from a happy-go-lucky kid into a toughened, driven bastard. They definitely laid the groundwork for that. But one thing that seemed pretty consistent throughout was Baldwin's insistence that he was innocent. In fact, that was why I followed his story--I, too, thought he was innocent, and I lked that they were doing something with the character than having him succumb to the plot-hammering around the Stamford incident the rest of the Marvel Universe had. So, even though I may have missed an issue or two, I can't buy that he's becoming Penance out of a sudden feeling of guilt, and having the needles that push into his skin to remind him of etc., etc. That's not how the groundwork for the character was laid, or how the story developed. You can almost see the fine seam where the editors joined Speedball's story with this other character someone cooked up for the Thunderbolts book (probably because some plan or other fell through).

If it wasn't for that, and the bullshit of starting a story with multiple first person narration and then dropping it because the writer needs to hide the big secret both characters have discovered (this is in the non-Speedball part of the book), I would've gone higher than Eh.

CSI DYING IN THE GUTTERS #5: Dammit, I didn't read this. Now I've gotta go online to find out who killed Rich Johnston. Ironic, huh?

EXILES #89: This issue of Exiles made me think of Long Haired Hare, that great Bugs Bunny cartoon with the Giovanni Jones, the opera singer, where Bugs disguises himself as the maestro Leopold and makes Giovanni hold one note until Jones is writhing on the floor, blue in the face, and the entire Hollywood Bowl collapses. One would think the analogy is clear--Bedard and Callafiore are normally perfectly dandy, but come on, now. Done is done. Set 'em free, I beg you! Sub-Eh.

JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA #5: Wow, does this arc end next issue? If so, it's like watching a dramatic spacecraft launch--the countdown, the smoke and the noise... and then the damn thing leaves the pad going twenty miles an hour. It's an OK read, but hopefully they can work on their pacing a little bit.

NEWUNIVERSAL #2: Art's fine, Ellis' explanation of the New Universe heroes (and reconfiguring the dream realm as ideaspace) was cool, but, really, there's nothing "new" yet about Newuniversal. There's not anything new here if you've read any of the "heroes in the real world" stories, and there's nothing new here if you've read Ellis: it's the New Leftovers, heated up by a professional cook with other tables to serve. OK, but was I wrong to think there could (and would) be more to it than this?

OTHER SIDE #4: It's far too lovingly drawn to be ignored, and the writing's been fine on an issue-by-issue basis, but I've got the nagging feeling that the story has had very little forward movement--it's really up to the last issue, I guess. Good, but I feel like it may miss its shot to be great.

POWERS #22: Good issue. A fun read, even if it seems to me that Bendis kinda screwed up the punchline to that "You know how tired I am?" joke. (Also, admittedly, I'm a weirdo conspiracy freak but... with those two quotes in the Quote of the Month section of his letters page, Bendis isn't comparing Johanna Draper Carlson to Paris Hilton, is he? Because I think that would be a really, really strange comparison. I dunno. Maybe it's just me.)

PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL #2: Not nearly as enjoyable as the first issue, and it's a little weird that the same scene would appear so differently in both Civil War and here. But I really loved how fast-paced it was (at the end, I felt like I'd read a lot of story) and it's not surprising that Fraction's brand of fun apeshit insanity would have to take a backseat to Civil War's apeshit insanity. Good, anyway.

SCALPED #1: I spent most of the issue fretting becuase I realize I need to be a litte more gentle with first issues, but this book struck me as a little too out-of-control. Fortunately, the last page proved me wrong and so I don't have to fret. This was definitely OK, with the potential to be even better depending on how it plays out.

PICK OF THE WEEK: ALL STAR SUPERMAN #6, hands down.

PICK OF THE WEAK: "...and so, Janet Van Dyne, it is you who must now wield the hammer of...Thor!" BULLET POINTS #3, for its cheating cheateriness.

TRADE PICK: I actually didn't pick up any trades this week, but I read the Carla Speed McNeil interview in COMICS JOURNAL #280 which could've benefited from a bit more editorial acumen (in the intro to the interview, it refers to McNeil as still working on Five Crazy Women which I really don't think is the case anymore [on the other hand, tho, I admit I'll be damned if I could figure it out from visiting the Lightspeed Press site]). When I get back from NYC, I'll probably post about Drifting Classroom, Essential Man-Thing and some of the other trades I've been reading.

You weren't nearly as crabby as I was, were you?

Goodbye 2006: Hibbs' last word on 12/28

So, I don't actually have the time to be doing this, but, damn it, it feels like I've posted 6 reviews all year long to the blog, and this is my absolute last chance for 2006. 3 GEEKS JIMS JERKY: Amusing if inconsequential, just like most issues of 3 GEEKS. Except this one, instead of being about comics.... is about meat. And has dried meat glued to the front cover. (Which, from a retail perspective, works about as well as those Eclipso Diamonds did) Yes, it comes with a piece of beef jerky. The comic is solidly OK

The bad thing is that I didn't notice the "DIS" (for "Display") in the title on the order form! Nor the $40 price, since it's solicited individually in PREVIEWS at $2. I didn't understand I was ordering 20 copies at a throw, and there wasn't any way to order individual copies. We're asking for returnability now.

30 DAYS OF NIGHT SPREADING THE DISEASE #1: I may be too much of a purist, but as much as vampirism would be logically blood borne, to be there needs to be a take and receive not just an injection from a hypodermic needle. But that just may be me. OK

52 WEEK #34: The end of the second act, I guess, and I liked the way they worked in the one and only cliffhanger they're actually "allowed". There are only 19 to go... and they've got a lot of lot of stuff that needs to get dealt with, starting post-soon. There was a lot in this issue not to like -- the continuation of Geoff John's weird fixation with super-powered beings bisecting other super-powered beings, the idea that Lex is casually kidnapping, injecting with drugs, and mindwiping major reporters, or John Henry's "Here's the exact same speech I've given you the last 8 times we've tried to move this plot forward" scene. I love 52 for the nods, and the wacked out ideas, and the stupidly-crazy scope, but it’s a badly plotted beast, lurching around wildly. This issue, as an issue: EH.

AGE OF BRONZE #24: It’s a sad shame that work like this so lovely, so painstakingly researched, so essential to showing what comics are capable of, sells so darn badly. Every issue is a treat, and this is no exception: VERY GOOD.

ANNIHILATION #5: I'm flashing to Andy Schmidt's column on The Pulse the other day where he laid out a bunch of rules that a reviewer should follow. Chief among them "don't discuss a work until it’s done." Oh... alright then.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #19: Yeah, solid stuff, though I much more enjoyed the personal moments then any of the 'splody stuff. VERY GOOD.

ATLAS #3: Damn, that was depressing. And makes we feel even worse about Horrock's adventures in mainstream comics... depending on my much he's really fictionalizing it. (I mean, obviously, he's fictionalizing it... but how much of it is essentially true?) Still, VERY GOOD

BATMAN & THE MAD MONK #5: This Matt Wagner kid can kinda draw, can't he? Someone should get him on something high profile.... VERY GOOD.

BLACK PANTHER #23: Continuing to be the most thoughtful and globally resonant of the Civil War crossovers. I think it's playing too much with the racial/-ist themes (I've conceived BP as being above all that, myself) -- but then, I'm a straight, white male and I'd say that, wouldn't I? GOOD.

BLOWJOB #20: So, Eros was originally conceived as "Saving" Fantagraphics, right? Providing much-needed cash flow to keep the doors open to allow them to do the "good work" in an uncaring market right? Well, the pendulum has swung back by now, right? And Eros has fewer and fewer releases, and most of them don't actually sell all that well anymore, anyway (least round here, and I have no problem with cartoon-based pornography), AND they seem like they're getting raunchier and raunchier. This here is all rape-fantasy, and while fairly well drawn, gets a big "ICK!" from me... and I guess I just wonder where the "value" is any longer? I quite like having an arm that can produce a BIRDLAND or an IRONWOOD, really, and it would be nice to see more "name" creators doing erotic work (Matt Wagner used to talk about a book of the sexual fantasies of two sisters -- I've seen several pages from it, at least a decade ago, and it was swell stuff), but this kind of production just feels like the tail wagging the dog, or something. This CAN'T be helping FBI, can it? Doesn't one volume of POPEYE equal a whole year's worth of BLOWJOB? As I said, this gets an ICK!

BLUE BEETLE #10: I though this was a really charming and fun issue. Maybe this is how you have to handle the Fourth World stuff... make additions to, rather than rehashing what Jack did? GOOD.

CITY OF HEROES #17: They had a play-for-free weekend, and I got sucked back in, and so did a bunch of my old supergroup, and for a few weeks there it was a perfect rush each night. Now most of them have drifted away again, and I'm back to soloing most of the time, and, foo, I don't think I'm going to renew when it comes up on the 12th. The winter events were pretty fun though. What? Oh the comic? Nah, didn't read it, sorry. INCOMPLETE.

CONNOR HAWKE DRAGONS BLOOD #2: See, I just don't get how you could possibly have a "World's Greatest Archers" competition and not have every single person there saying "So where's the Justice Leaguer with the Goatee?" every 10 seconds. But if you can get past that, this is a wonderfully serviceable thriller. Characters are individuals, appear to have motivations, and there's plenty of drama. It is written well, and well illustrated, and yet I still kinda don't give a damn about Connor Hawke. From a craft perspective, it's probably a "good", but since I'm telling you what *I* thought, it's an OK.

CREEPER #5: See, as mm, mm, limited as some characters may be to specific lightning-in-a-bottle creative pairings (Ostrander and Mandrake on SPECTRE, Moore and Bisette/Totleben/Veitch on SWAMP THING, etc.), what doesn't work is mucking with a character's origin hoping that the SITUATION provides the story (cf: DEMON, the Yakuza Street Racer). SO that's why introducing the Joker into the mix of Creeper's origin doesn't make him any more compelling. In fact, I'd argue it makes him less compelling, really, since in tying him to The Bat, now he's, dunno, Man-Bat instead of Animal Man. D-list, instead of C-list. That's a long way of saying AWFUL.

I said to myself that I'd do as complete of a survey of this week's books as I could, but damn, I've been doing this a long time already today, and I'm still only at "C", pray for me here...

CROSSING MIDNIGHT #2: My first thought on this comic was "damn, that's pretty. Did last issue look as nice", and I went back and looked, and yes it did. So, it's very pretty. Storywise, I also felt this was stronger than issue #1, but what I'm trying to puzzle out is where this is/can go long-term (It's a monthly, not a mini), because we're at 2 issues in and I think it defies the 10-words-or-less pitch. And, so, because I am shallow and harried and read far too many comics, and because I need a CERTAIN amount of spoonfeeding, I can't decide whether I really like it or not. I don't really know what it IS, y'see? So, uh, OK?

DAREDEVIL #92: Yeah, that worked, I think. VERY GOOD.

DETECTIVE COMICS #827: A new Scarface, and this time she's him! Eight words, see? Very nice done-in-one, setting up possible future conflict, doing every single thing that a monthly issue of DETECTIVE should do. I did like the Gs-for-Bs of the Wesker version, cuz the idea that he's actually a really really bad ventriloquist just adds to it, but "Sugar" looks to have a few interesting possibilities, so hopefully fair trade. All in all VERY GOOD.

GUMBY #2: Actually, I still haven't read it yet, but Tzipora read it to Ben, and I caught the back half of the performance and it sounded grand. Plus he likes the free Pokey you get with your purchase. I wish there hadn't been a variant cover, however. That's kind of unnecessary, and Geary's cover was much much stronger anyway. Burden and Geary are a dream team for this book, and I'm going to cheat and go from the giggles I heard from the other room and say VERY GOOD. Because I know you should buy it.

HACK SLASH SLICE HARD: See, I see what they were going for, but there were way too many characters in way too short a space to hold them, and it just became a mixed up muddle. EH.

HAWKGIRL #59: Wow, nice art! And the first issue I sorta wasn't embarrassed to read, lately. A very strong OK.

HELLSTORM SON OF SATAN #3: It is, I think, the Egyptian Mythology that isn't making this for me. That's not what I want in a "Son of Satan" comic, really. EH.

HEROES FOR HIRE #5: Ricodonna is a stupid adversary, and this is really a d-list team, but there's an adequate level of competence in its execution. EH.

IMMORTAL IRON FIST #2: I don't have a problem, I guess, that there have been other Iron Fists before. But I kinda do have a problem with a WWI-era version on the battlefield, wearing a mask. That's kind of a thumping big continuity implant, ain't it? Still, the execution was wonderful, and I really like this book. VERY GOOD.

JUSTICE #9: No idea, I'll get my copy THIS week. We only had enough for about 2/3rds of the subs last week. INCOMPLETE.

KILLER #2: Archaia is rapidly becoming one of my favorite publishers. While I may not be the exact audience for any given book, the Base Quality of their line should really be commended. And I really dig this book in particular. Very affecting. And VERY GOOD. My only problem is getting restock -- my backorder for #1 got cancelled (timed out). They need better distribution than Diamond's narrow pipes, if you ask me.

LOVELESS #14: Shallow and stupid, and too many comics, that's me, I've said it before, but I never have any idea which character is whom and what there relationships to others are when I read this book. No character is distinct enough to pick up out of a line up for me, and dooms this to AWFUL for me.

NEXTWAVE AGENTS OF HATE #11: Damn, they're on FIRE. That sequence of double page spreads at the back? INSANELY AWESOME. VERY GOOD.

OKKO CYCLE OF WATER #1: This is what I was saying about Archaia before. Not For Me (I generally don't like period pieces), but very well constructed and illustrated, and a fast sell-out (at like low-DC numbers) to boot. OK for me, probably VG for you (generically, not specifically)

ONSLAUGHT REBORN #2: Ow, bad. We sold out of this too fast, too. More thankful than upset however in this case. There's a scene here which I think sums this up fine: Captain America, Thor and Iron all charge Onslaught, while Franklin Richards cowers nearby. Big full page money shot, with an inset box with what's looks to be them all falling into the water together. Turn the page, and Onslaught in nowhere to be seen, instead Cap + crew are hanging around with the FF, no one even mentioning where Onslaught went. Mm, comics. AWFUL.

SUPERGIRL #13: There's a villain who kills people with hate, but he's defeated because Kara's hatred for HERSELF overwhelms him. This is in a comic book starring "Supergirl", can you BELIEVE that? CRAP.

TEEN TITANS GO #38: Hey, look, its Chynna Clugston drawing the Mad Mod! Nifty! The problem is that it is maybe 8 pages of story stretched out to 22 (the THIRD "Hard Day's Night Reference" was probably the trigger), but who cares? It's Chynna Clugston drawing the Mad Mod! And it's only $2.25! OK

ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #37: It's too... hm, dense, maybe, for an Ultimate book. Readers are abandoning it in droves here. I think it's a solid OK read.

ULTIMATE POWER #3: Hurray, let's spend most of the issue backtracking before #1! Grrrrr. Hell, this could have been #1. And I just can't get past Greg Land overly-posed art. Foo, AWFUL.

UNCLE SAM AND THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS #6: I mean, it's cute to bring back each and every Quality hero, even, sure, the Invisible Hood. If only for a minute. But the story need to work if I'm going to care. And the antagonists are so generic and uninspiring that I don't. EH.

USAGI YOJIMBO #99: Another VERY GOOD issue. Let's hope there's another 99 coming.

WHAT IF AGE OF APOCALYPSE: Yikes. Pretty incoherent, though to be fair, the original was too. But doing a "What if...?" on an alternate reality just proceeds from a point of "Wait.... why?" AWFUL.

WHAT IF DEADLY GENESIS: This one worked better, partially because it was 50% longer, and partially because it really only had to concern itself with one character. And it was certainly OK. However, I think there should probably be a Statute of Limitations on What ifs -- you got to let like 3 years pass before you take a go at it.

WINTER SOLDIER WINTER KILLS: Character beats in search of a plot. Feels like it was rapidly thrown together, but, still, it's Brube, so it has its skill. But I say EH.

Meh, and I'm going to quit there. Only 3 comics left, but I'm sick of sitting here and typing tonight when Ben and Tzipora are out and I could be playing video games instead!

PICK OF THE WEAK: Gotta go with SUPERGIRL #13. In fact, I think I can go with the entire relaunch of SUPERGIRL this year as being the Worst Idea of 2006.

PICK OF THE WEEK: In a strong week of contenders, I'll go with NEXTWAVE AGENTS OF HATE #11.

BOOK/TP OF THE WEEK: I'll go with BPRD UNIVERSAL MACHINE this week, I think.

There, done with 2006.

What did you think?

-B

The end of the year means the end of cheap shots? Or not. Another trade review by Graeme.

Two posts from me last week, and then I'm as quiet as a clam this week. Blame being the only manager at my job, and then add in visits to the INS (sorry, CIS - I keep forgetting that they've been renamed now) and the dentist, and you might see why I've not had time to get to the store this week, which is a shame... If nothing else, I really want to pick up that new Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane digest, because I'm a sap. But that's not to say I don't have a review for you this week. And it's another trade one, and just like SMLMJ, one that requires you to think back to high school... This may be something that no-one else in the world has ever experienced, but when I was a kid, there was a period when the, if you will, "high five" was a very cool thing to do. I was, what, maybe ten or something, and it was one of those "Hey, I've seen Americans do this on the TV/in movies so it has to be cool" misguided things that we got ourselves into back then (See also: Trying to skateboard after seeing Back To The Future). But with the young child mind and the high five came the inevitable pulling-back-of-the-hand-just-before-you-slap-it trick. And with that trick came the people who thought that it was so funny that they would literally beg you to high five them so that they could try it. The conversation would, inevitably go something like this:

"High-five!"

"What?"

"High-five me!"

"What? Why?"

"Because! Come on! High-five me!"

"No."

"Why not? Come on! High-five me! Pleeease? Come on!"

"Fine, okay..."

(Tries to high-five, only to have the five you were trying to "high" pulled away at the last second, followed by the owner of the five snorting in laughter.)

Such scenes were common in my childhood, and always left me feeling foolish and frustrated. Foolish because, well, I'd known better all along but went along with it for a quiet life, and frustrated because the joke hadn't worked; It doesn't really mean anything to deny someone something that they didn't really care about that much in the first place, because they still don't really care that much, you know? It's this really bizarre, empty cheap thrill for the person playing the trick and no-one else.

Which brings me to Mark Millar's CHOSEN.

As you're already aware, it's the end of 2006, and as all of us are prone to do at this most wonderful time of the year, I found myself thinking is auld acquaintances should be forgot and never brought to mind. In particular, I had decided that maybe I'd been a wee bit too hard on Millar this year, and in fact every year since about 2001. Okay, Civil War may be a mess of events with no throughline or internal consistency, but it was a crossover book, and almost all of those are doomed to failure by their very nature. And, sure, Millar may appear to be a bit of a self-obsessed pathological liar when he gives interviews or posts on his messageboard, but that's just a carefully-contrived public persona to lull his audience into the idea that he's (a) one of them and (b) their mate so that they'll continue to support his comics. Surely, I told myself, his writing has to go beyond the workmanlike-with-fascination-for-Hollywood-movieesque-plot-twists. After all, back when he started with things like Saviour and Shadowmen and Insiders, he really seemed to have a lot of promise (Yes, I really was there for the really early stuff; I was Scottish and the right age).

So, I decided to take a look at Chosen. It was the one that seemed furthest from the Millar I'd become overly familiar with through Ultimates and Authority and Civil War (Having ducked his Spider-Man and Wolverine almost altogether), and with Peter Gross on art and the story centering around faith - Something that Millar seems to be very genuine about - I figured that it was my best chance at seeing the Mark Millar that everyone else seemed to enjoy. Unfortunately, Chosen turns out to be an example of almost everything I dislike in Millar's writing: Lack of subtlety, poor dialogue, and a belief in its own cleverness that isn't backed up by anything in reality.

As you can tell, I really enjoyed it.

Let's go with the lack of subtlety first, shall we? The book stars a child who believes that he's the reincarnation of Jesus Christ. His name? Jodie Christianson. Yes, really. Never mind "Christianson" as a last name - although, really, that goes beyond cheesy even with the "shock" reveal at the end of the book - but his initials are JC? Holy crap. It gets worse, though - The Catholic priest character appears for the first time, following an accident that suggests for the first time that Jodie might be special, and we're witness to the following exchange between the priest and Jodie's mother:

"What do you think, Father? How do you think Jodie survived that accident?"

"To be honest, I haven't a clue, Mrs. Christianson. In less enlightened times, we might have called it a miracle, I suppose."

(To be fair to Millar, his first draft then went onto to say "Perhaps your son is really the son of God. Or maybe - - the son of Satan," but he realized that he should err on the side of mystery.)

The dialogue in general is a weakness - As is traditional with Millar's work, everyone speaks in the same voice, but when half of the cast are meant to be twelve years old, then it becomes a little more obvious and problematic that variety isn't your strong point. For example, which of the following lines do you think isn't supposed to be spoken by a pre-teen?

"You rather be in school or something, Jodie? You rather be in history class hearing about Fidel friggin' Castro and the goddamn Cuban missile crisis again, man?"

"Well, y'know, when Jess Caldwell sustained those kinda injuries - - It just kinda defies the laws of physics, right? I mean, how's that even possible?"

"Still, all the bowing and stuff's pretty damn cool. I feel like the Ayatollah Khomeini."

With this kind of execution, it almost makes sense for the book to be some kind of B-movie on paper, and to be fair, it succeeds on that level. In fact, that's probably the only way that the climax works - as cheap schlock. Considering the book's, what, two years old by this point, I don't think I'm spoiling anything by telling you that the story ends with a jump forward to reveal that Jodie wasn't the son of God, but actually the son of the Devil. It's not the most unexpected twist, because, well, it'd be the first twist you'd expect from the "Is he the son of God?" pitch even without the really, really obvious foreshadowing (The first time any character suggests that Jodie has an important destiny, that character has a horned shadow in the background, for example. See also: Jodie's miracles often having unforeseen downsides, the mysterious organization involved in Jodie's past, and perhaps most tellingly, an earlier flashforward to adult Jodie being dressed by others, which was hardly Jesus-esque). It's a crappy Outer Limits-style conclusion, utterly pointless because not only did you see it coming, but it doesn't really change anything about the story you've just read or give it any further meaning. It's also somewhat embarrassing considering the final twist of the story - He isn't just the son of Satan, he's also the President of the United States of America! Deep political commentary, or complete rip-off of movie classic "The Omen III: The Final Chapter", wherein Sam Neill plays the son of Satan who becomes the President of the United States of America? You be the judge, but it's really not deep political commentary, I'll tell you that much. It's a very strange way to end the book, and reads almost as if Millar had just gotten bored of the story he was writing and just stopped; there isn't any real narrative arc to any character here, and no real plot to speak of, either: A kid has magical powers, thinks he's the son of God and everyone believes him, apart from a priest who ends up believing him. The end, apart from an epilogue where we find out that he's actually the son of the Devil after all. There aren't any complications or moments of character or... anything, really. It's just a straight line, even including the ah-ha, fake! ending; it would've been a much stronger statement of Millar's faith and bravery in stepping outside of his reputation as slickly-cynical-writer if Jodie really had been the reincarnation of Jesus after all, even if that would've robbed it of the "twist" that serves as the closest the plot ever gets to a resolution (or even a point).

Weirdly enough, the experiment worked; I really do feel better about Mark Millar's writing now, just not in the way that I'd expected. This book was so bad that I ended up thinking a lot better of Civil War and Ultimates, if only because they're more competently constructed and manage to use the limited dialogue and obvious plot twists more successfully. It's not uncommon for writers to benefit from restriction, but I have to admit that I'm surprised by just how much that happens to be the case for Millar. In other words, this was a kind of Ass collection. The coloring's nice, though.

I'm not sure what this whole thing says about the worthiness of that whole "resolving to give things another chance" thing, or resolutions in general, but let's call it a happy endings of sorts for the year, nonetheless. Happy New Year, for those who plan to celebrate.

My Bookshelf Is As Heavy As My Heart At Christmastime: Graeme reads and talks about trade paperbacks.

Because you demanded it! Well, maybe not you, but Leigh Walton3000. He definitely demanded it, and because it's the holiday season, what else could I do but deliver? And so: The Special Savage Critic Long Winded Book Edition. For you! AMERICAN VIRGIN Vol. 1: HEAD: Here's my big problem with American Virgin - It's just not sexy. It's not even just not sexy, it's practically unsexy; there's something about the writing that manages to be preachy and clinical at the same time, like someone's dad trying to write for The Kids after spending an afternoon on MySpace and reading some Brian K. Vaughan (Steven Seagle, the hypothetical dad in question, has clearly tried to style this in a similar way to Vaughan's Y: The Last Man - You get the stylized-disaffected dialogue, the last page splash cliffhangers - except the cliffhangers here are, well, not very interesting - and the self-centered male protagonist on a journey of self-discovery that he isn't comfortable with even as he needs it, complete with fantasy sequences and lost girlfriend idol figure). Becky Cloonan's art is wasted on this book, and maybe it's just my reading into things that aren't there, but you can almost see her lose interest with each successive page, even with inks by Street Angel's Jim Rugg. But as wonderful as Cloonan's art is (and her art is sexy, with asides and characters that are playful and full of life despite what the story makes them do and say), it's not enough to make this book anything more than Crap. A book about the sexual awakening of a Christian fundamentalist should be sexy, goddammit.

ASTRO CITY: LIFE IN THE BIG CITY, ASTRO CITY: CONFESSION, ASTRO CITY: FAMILY ALBUM: Hi, and welcome to "Boy, I really should have read this a long time ago" Theatre. After I got pummeled in the comments for admitting that I'd avoided Kurt Busiek's creator-owned superhero love letter for years, Hibbs leapt on my weak will against peer pressure and sold me on the first AC collection, telling me that I'd dig it. He didn't say "The first one's free," or even "Hey, kid. Wanna see somethin' cool?" followed by an evil chuckle, but he may well have done, because I ended up getting the next couple of books a couple of weeks later. Simply put, Astro City works. It's got enough callbacks to play on the characters you are familiar with, giving you an idea of the context against which the real stories take place, without openly just aping Spider-Man, Superman and everyone else (In many cases, the characters in this series are cooler than their inspirations - I really, really like Jack In The Box, for example, and Crackerjack is a lot of fun as well. Maybe it's just characters with Jack in their name that I have a weakness for. Who knows?). It also knows enough to know how to play against expectations and go small - the large epic stories take place mostly off-panel, which works really well because it allows you to fill in all the details and let them be the greatest super battles ever for you - which is where the series' heart is. On the occasions where the stories come close to traditional superheroics - When Jack meets future versions of himself, or following the serial killer in Confession - that's when it stopped working so well for me; everything just became about the costumes and the action instead of the people... And when that's the case, you're always going to miss the costumes you grew up reading about.

But, luckily, that kind of story is few and far between from what I've read so far (And in the case of Confessionals, the one long storyline I've seen so far, even there the supervillain plot is punctuated by lots of character moments). Busiek's a weird writer; he's a wonderful plotter, and it's that that seems to dominate a lot of his company-owned work. That isn't to say that he doesn't do character well in those books, because he does - I really dig his Superman because of how he writes the characters, for example, not because of the plot which has still left me kind of cold - but the stories are much more about What Happens. His Avengers, in particular, I think is one of the best plot-orientated superhero books of the '90s. But Astro City isn't about the plot, when it's really good. It's about what the characters are thinking and reacting to instead of any other stimulus, and because of that, it can do things that almost no company-owned book can really do - or do successfully, without fear of revamp when the next creative team comes on, anyway - and make the people in silly outfits feel real, for twenty-odd pages at a time, at least. Life In the Big City: Very Good, Confession: Good, Family Album: Very Good.

ESSENTIAL DEFENDERS Vol. 2: There's something about this book that shows just what it was like to be a Marvel fan in the '70s. Stories career between series - this book collects not only Defenders issues, but also issues of Marvel Two-in-One, Marvel Team-Up and a Marvel Treasury story starring Howard The Duck - but so do creators (Steve Gerber seems to follow a plot from Marvel Two-in-One and then become the regular Defenders writer purely by being in the right place at the right time, and Sal Buscema is everywhere); it makes it seem as if the line was a fun, unified, thing even if it's slightly... disorganized. But that disorganization fits this book, in a weird way (As opposed to something like Supervillain Team-Up, the Essential collection of which gets repetitive and kind of embarrassing with every second issue promising a new creative team and bold new direction as someone, desperately, tries to make the book work and hit deadline) - It is a "non-team," after all, something that's reinforced by the cover featuring the Silver Surfer who doesn't appear at all in the book itself. Not that you miss him, given everything else that happens - the plots have a wonderfully free-wheeling aspect to them, bouncing from racist cults to carbombing the rich to revolution in the Earth of the future, with each one given equal weight and importance.

The series really begins to find its feet in this collection, as a core cast becomes cemented (almost entirely made up of characters outside of the team that most people think of as the Defenders; Dr. Strange and the Hulk are the only ones of the four to make it through the entire collection) and various subplots get started allowing for some sense of continuity for the reader. It's the B-list nature of Valkyrie and Nighthawk that lets the collection work, as well; watching Steve Gerber do character work knowing that he doesn't have to stay completely straight on a book like this, and letting himself get carried away with the already convoluted backstory for the two of them (False persona of a Norse Warrior possessing the body of an insane ex-bride of a demon and Batman-ripoff reformed supervillain, respectively). He manages to make them the classic Marvel mix of ridiculous pasts and down-to-earth personalities, even while working within the restrictive monthly Marvel format of the time. More than the crazy A-plots, it's the smaller things like that that make this book Very Good if superheroes are your thing.

ESSENTIAL LIKE CAGE - HERO FOR HIRE Vol. 2: Yes, I know this is one of those books that we're meant to ironically appreciate, but the weird thing about this book is watching the writers really try and do something with the series; Don McGregor, in particular, has caption attempts at social criticism mixed with noir narration that seem both out of place in a Power Man comic and completely fitting for a 1970s exploitation book. The other weird thing is watching B-level artists strut their stuff on the B-level book and, well, do a pretty good job. George Tuska, who knew you had it in you? It's almost depressing when Chris Claremont and John Byrne come along for the last issues reprinted, with their slick and overly familiar styles, because up until that point, it'd been a pretty Okay oddity.

ETERNALS BY JACK KIRBY: Like I said before, my dad, bless his heart, gave me this for Christmas this year. It arrived early, and even though I've been very patient with every other parcel that's arrived, this was opened almost immediately and has been my bedtime reading each night this week - It's not something that's for everyone, but Good God. The speed of Kirby's work is astonishing - He just throws ideas out there and moves through them within an issue. There's no such thing as a status quo in this book - One issue it's all about Ikarus explaining about the origin of humanity, and then the Gods have come to Earth and they're going to judge us, and then the Deviants are pretending to be Satan to trick humanity into declaring war with God and it's about Sersi and the human girl in Sersi's apartment, and then Ikarus is put into a coma for an issue while two new characters fight the Deviants in Manhattan and then and then and then! By this point in his career, he'd given in even more to his admittedly not-great dialogue tics and overwritten narration, but even if you don't get the (limited) charm of them, the sheer flood of ideas that he throws at you could win you over. If you're willing to overlook clunky dialogue and want the dayglo version of the history of humanity where God is an alien with circuitry on his hand, then this is Excellent. Pricy, yes, but seriously. Man, it's good.

FABLES: 1001 NIGHTS OF SNOWFALL: This is a very frustrating book for me, because what I normally love about Fables is the writing - Don't get me wrong, Mark Buckingham's art is nice enough, but it's Bill Willingham's take on the characters that somehow manages to be cynical and sweet at the same time that sells me on the stories. But the frustrating thing about this anthology of new work is that the writing lets it down badly - It's not that it's bad, exactly, but so varying in quality that the weaker stories fare even worse in comparison. This is, most definitely, an artists' showcase rather than any kind of coherent attempt at storytelling, and in that sense, it's a success; all of the art here is impressive, even if the stars are not who you'd initially expect (James Jean's pages are lacking the inventive design you see in his covers, but Tara McPherson's section is beautiful. Similarly, Brian Bolland's two-pager suffers from appalling flat coloring, while Derek Kirk Kim gets to draw bunnies with eyes that shoot lasers, and therefore can't fail). Storywise, it's more of a disappointment, with the shorter stories feeling like unnecessary and unfunny filler about characters you've never heard of before, stealing time away from the more interesting longer pieces that manage to work as introduction to regular characters for new readers and backstory for the overall arc for those who've visited the world before (The histories of Snow White and origin of Bigby, in particular, are the kind of thing you want more of - Chilling and exciting in the way they rework some old wives' tales). None of the above should give you the idea that this isn't enjoyable, because, really, it's a Good book that verges on the Very Good at times. It's just that it's less successful for both new and old readers than any of the trades of the regular series, and probably works best as something someone who already loves the characters would enjoy.

JACK STAFF: EVERYTHING USED TO BE BLACK AND WHITE: Never before has a creator-owned series shown its origins as a pitch for a corporate character so openly as this opening of Paul Grist's superhero series. Not only does the character look like Marvel's Union Jack, but he even has a run-in with a vampire... just like Marvel's Union Jack. Not that that spoils the fun, though; that gets spoiled by the disjointed writing, as Grist's attempts to mix the anthology format of old school British comics with the longer form of American comics with less-than-entirely successful results. Things come together more towards the end, but even the greatest writing in the world would come second to Grist's amazing art - He really gets how to do successful black and white art in an almost Alex Toth-like way, and some of his pages should be studied by wannabe artists to see the thinking that went on behind them. Overall, Eh writing mixed with Excellent art evens out as an Okay book that's well worth it if what you buy comics for are the pretty pictures.

KAMPUNG BOY: American Born Chinese may have (deservedly) gotten more of the attention from the second wave of First Second launches, but this memoir of Malaysian cartoonist Lat's childhood was an understated little gem in its own right. It's interesting, because I think I was underwhelmed by it on the first read, but there was something about what Lat leaves out of the story that kept bringing me back, and finding more and more to enjoy in the book. The way he turns his life as a kid into something that everyone can empathize with, without losing flavor or sense of identity is impressive and bizarrely touching, and by the end of the book - a very organic breaking point for the story, considering what's happening - then, if you're anything like me, you'll want the next volume right away. It's quiet and short and full of joy, and Very Good.

It's trades. Should I do PICK OF THE WEEK and PICK OF THE WEAK...? Probably not, considering, you know, this is hardly a "week" thing (American Virgin is pretty weak, though). Weirdly enough, as good as they are, none of these books would make it onto a list of even my top six books of the year with the possible exception of the Eternals book by Kirby. Perhaps you should just spend your money on my favorites, instead, if it's money you're looking to spend - Those would be, in reverse order, De:Tales, American Born Chinese, Pride of Bagdhad, Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness, Curses, and The Fate of The Artist. I'm pretty sure I've written about those at some point during the year or another, and Jeff mentions almost all of those in his round-up post below, so consider them all groovy and worth your time and attention.

Anyway, this may be my longest post here yet; hopefully I've made all of you realize that I should never talk about trades ever again. Now go and read Jeff's post below; it's a lot of fun, and he's got good taste in comics, and I feel guilty for making another massive post and pushing his post off the top of the page already.

Happy holidays, Savage readers.

Too Late For A Holiday Gift Guide? Too Early for a Best Of... List?

It probably is too late for a gift guide but considering there's still four plus days to Xmas (and considering some of you might be shopping for yourselves after Xmas with money passed your way), following is a list of forty-three items culled from my Trade Picks of 2006, with some singles thrown in that I thought were great and you could probably still find without too much trouble. They're sorted alphabetically, so no hierarchy is implied, and they represent my picks only (although if Hibbs and McMillan sorted their picks as well, wouldn't that be cool?). Brief commentary will be provided as necessary, or until my brain explodes. Without further ado (and with my apologies in advance for an insanely long post)(oh, and note I may be revising this over time in case, in my haste, my hyperbole ends up sounding redundant and/or nonsensical):

ABANDON THE OLD IN TOKYO HC: I found the second collection of short stories by Yoshiro Tatsumi even more captivating than the first. Like the stories in THE PUSH MAN, the similarities of Tatsumi's largely passive protagonists dampens the impact of the stories cumulatively, but I found some of the material in ABANDON THE OLD IN TOKYO so powerful it overcame such limitations. It's a gripping book, beautifully published and reasonably priced.

ACTION PHILOSOPHERS VOL 1 GIANT SIZED THING TPB: Volume 2 is out as well, and these books are excellent purchases for anyone who loves Larry Gonick's Cartoon History... series. Funny and informative.

ALL STAR SUPERMAN: We've still got most of the issues of these in the store, and you probably already have them. But if you know someone who went ape for Superman Returns and doesn't have these yet, do them a favor. Brandon Routh's Clark Kent was pretty good, but he wasn't half as good as Frank Quitely's.

AMERICAN BORN CHINESE: Gene Yang's take on the tale of the Monkey King is a blistering and hilarious look at racism, multiculturalism, and tradition. And it's all postmodern n' shit, like them thar kids are what so fond of these days.

AZU MANGA DAIOH: Didn't actually review these for the blog, but I hunted them down after greatly enjoying the three volumes of Kiyohio Azuma's Yotsuba&!. The four volumes of Azu Manga Daioh follows a group of schoolgirls through high school. Done in a daily strip format, AMD is a little goofier and frenetic than Yotsuba&!, but is similarly rewarding in its depth of characterization and comic timing. A few of the payoffs at the end of the series are maybe a bit too much (the first payoff with Sakaki and the cat was awesome...the second and third, not so much) but that barely marred my enjoyment. Get these suckers from wherever (I got vol. 3 from Ralph's Alternate Reality Comics) while you can.

BANANA SUNDAY TPB: Colleen Coover and Root Nibot's all-ages miniseries is a refreshing tale about a new student trying to fit in at her school despite being saddled with three talking monkeys. It's even more whimsical than that description makes it out to be, and it's great reading for anyone who misses the light, well-drawn stories Harvey Comics used to put out.

BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #1-4: Still not in trade format? I think you can still get a complete set of Paul Pope's futuristic Batman story at our store. Those of you who liked Spider-Man: Reign should check this out and see how an artist can evoke and honor Frank Miller's Dark Knight without trapping themselves in a thoughtless rehash.

BECK MONGOLIAN CHOP SQUAD: Yes, goddammit, Harold Sakuishi's series currently seems a little uneven, but it's so satisfying to see Kokyuki's hard work in the first three volumes pay off that I couldn't care. And Sakuishi's art manages to carry all the expressiveness in his character's elastic-faced characterizations, he doesn't need to resort to super-deformed panels, or stick-figure asides to heighten his character's emotional lives. I'm hoping it can make it through this current awkward transition period in the story and go on to kick everyone's ass. It certainly has the potential.

BEST AMERICAN COMICS 2006: Read some grousing on the Internet about this book, but I liked a lot of the material in it a great deal. Frankly, unless you're a real newbie to the world of Indy Comix, I think this anthology is more focused and has a stronger impact than Brunetti's Anthology of Graphic Fiction.

BUT I LIKE IT HC: Another book I didn't get around to writing about, I didn't think this would have much new to offer me since I already had Sacco's Yahoo #2, from which the bulk of the material is drawn. But all the extras make this a complete and fully-rounded work of its own, and the later material I hadn't seen--Sacco's hilarious portrait of himself as a helplessly suckered Rolling Stones fan--is exquisite. But I Like It is a knowing and sadly affectionate portrait of the artist as a music fan.

CASTLE WAITING HC: This gorgeous, well-priced hardcover collects (almost) all of the previous issues of Linda Medley's beautifully rendered fantasy series. Intelligent and lovely stuff.

CURSES: We've got a few copies currently in at the store and I can't recommend this highly enough--a linked collection of Kevin Huizenga's early work looks at modern civilization as both blessing and curse, and at comics as both meditation and myth. Funny, thought-provoking stuff and one of the best books of the year.

DAREDEVIL: If you were to see my list of singles that got Pick of the Week there was a pretty strong throughline--Brubaker & Morrison, then Bendis & Ellis & Fraction. Nearly every issue of this title since Ed took over made my Pick of the Week, but I also picked Bendis's last issue. This title's been on a roll for a while, and worth picking up in trade format or, if it comes to it, hunting through the back issue bins.

DEATH NOTE: Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata's absurdly satisfying (and satisfyingly absurd) manga suspense series was one of my favorite reading experiences of the year: the creators take a perfect story hook--a supernatural notebook that allows the wielder power over life and death--and run with it in directions nobody would ever suspect. Don't know if it can sustain its perfectly measured doses of absurdity, cleverness and suspense, but it's done an amazing job to date.

DISEASE OF LANGUAGE: Not sure if you can still get this, but two of Alan Moore's spoken word performances get intelligent and sypmathetic adaptations from Eddie Campbell. This also reprints the equally intelligent and sympathetic interview with Moore Campbell conducted for Egomania #2. You may be a little burnt out on Moore interviews now that the press folderol for Lost Girls has come and gone, but I think this interview still holds up, and it's great having all this transcendent material under one cover.

DRIFTING CLASSROOM: The first two volumes of this gave me everything I wanted from Dragonhead, and more--Kazuo Umezu's tale of an entire school thrown into a strange hostile dimension is relievedly pessimistic and dark, brutal, caustic and cathartic. So far, each volume I've read has left me awstruck and hungering for more. Dismiss this book for its anachronistic style at your peril.

ESSENTIAL DEFENDERS VOL 2 TPB: Another book I wanted to write about at greater length, the second volume of Essential Defenders brings us Steve Gerber at something very close to the top of his game. You should keep in mind I'm a huge Marvel fanboy where this material is concerned because that's the stuff that I read, re-read and treasured as a kid, but this stuff, packed to the gills with surreal imagery, paranoid fantasies and cosmic puffery, is like having the book equivalent of The Bottled City of Kandor: all of America in the '70s is right there on your shelf.

FANTASTIC FOUR IRON MAN BIG IN JAPAN: My earlier pessimistic forecast was wrong--you can get Seth Fisher's final work in an affordable trade paperback form, and you should: not just for his witty and elegant artwork, but for a great story by Zeb Wells that manages to tie together Kaiju, C'thulhu, and the Mole Man.

FATE OF THE ARTIST: Eddie Campbell's triumphantly comic self-eulogy manages to meditate on the nature of fame and success, the format of the graphic novel, and the little succeses and failures that make life so deeply hilarious and affecting. Another one of those books that came out this year that help make 2006 feel like a watershed in the medium.

FELL #5: All of the done-in-one issues by Ellis and Templesmith were taut and impressively constructed, but this interrogation room sequence seemed to bring out the best in both creators. And the issue is less than two bucks, which warms the cockles of my miserly heart.

FINDER: FIVE CRAZY WOMEN: This latest Finder book by Carla Speed McNeil may be the best thing she's ever done--it's certainly the bawdiest. If you're a fan of strong characters, lively cartooning and hilarious storytelling, you should check this out.

FUN HOME: Literate and intensely literary, Alison Bechdel's memoir about her father's odd death--and even odder life--has earned kudos for its tremendous attention to detail, but I loved the way it captured the feeling of how highly intelligent, emotionally detached people learn to love and understand themselves and the people around them. Widely praised, I still think this graphic novel hasn't received the accolades it deserves.

GANGES #1: This collection of Glenn Ganges stories by Kevin Huizenga demonstrates the emotional throughlines that connect all the little incidents of our interior and exterior lives--and how well graphic narrative is suited for capturing those throughlines. I really loved this.

GOLGO 13: Viz is to be commended for reprinting a mere smattering of the hundreds of stories featuring Takao Saito's kick-ass, verbally understated, master hitman: perhaps most impressive is that the stories so far are truly insane--imagine Tom Clancy wacked out of his mind on PCP--and yet are clearly little more than seductive hints as to how truly apeshit the stories can get. A guilty pleasure about which my only complaint is that they need to get much guiltier and hopefully will soon.

GOON VOL 4 MY VIRTUE & GRIM CONSEQUENCES TPB: Actually, you pretty much can't go wrong with any book by Eric Powell featuring the rough and tumble Goon and his pal Frankie battling zombies in some Depression-era phantasmagoria. Funny, beautifully drawn and accomplished, and I'm sure you're reading it already.

GRAY HORSES TPB: I thought I reviewed this, but couldn't find it on the site (I may have balked because it's a bit pricey for what you get, but couldn't bring myself to write that). Whether I did or didn't, Hope Larson's dreamlike tale of a French girl in a new city discovering her future (and perhaps the past of a previous life) is enchantingly impressionistic, disarmingly gentle and odd, and well worth your time. It's continued to haunt me in the months since I first read it.

GUMBY #1: The dream team of Bob Burden and Rick Geary spin a simple yarn of Gumby and Pokey having some adventures with a charming young girl. We've still got copies of this on our shelves and it's worth the $3.99 or so to get an endearing and strangely childlike tale about clay kids at play.

IMMORTAL IRON FIST #1: One of my favorite Marvel characters finally done the justice I think he deserves, courtesy of Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, and David Aja. But mainly I'm mentioning this so I can tell Arune he kicks ass for getting the Iron Fist insignia tattooed on his arm. You kick ass, Arune!!

LITTLE LULU: There's been a ton of tremendous reprints this year, but I've loved finally being able to read these classic kids' comics by John Stanley and Irving Tripp. They may look simple, but they're masterfully constructed and entertaining reading, leagues beyond the sort of "by the numbers" stuff you see in most of the stuff on the stands today..

LUBAS COMICS & STORIES #8: A stand-out issue by Beto that I mention in part because it seems to neatly encapsulate and summarize Beto's thematic approach to desire. In part, I mention it because of those nay-sayers who don't think a "best of" print collection for the Savage Critic(s) would be good reading. Did you miss the way I masterfully compared Beto's take on hedonism with Fellini's, you bastards?

NAOKI URASAWA'S MONSTER: I was a little bummed when this title moved away from that exquisite first volume's mix of serial killer suspense and hospital politics, but this book won me back over with its current incarnation as a strangely Lynchian take on The Fugitive. No idea where the hell it'll go next, but I hope it continues to be as satisfyingly melodramatic and evocative.

PLANETES BY MAKOTO YUKIMURA: Although I didn't quite love the ending as much as others have, I still found this science fiction series about garbagemen in space to be a great read. If you like Warren Ellis' space stories or Carla Speed McNeil's Finder material, you should hunt these up.

PRIDE OF BAGHDAD: Uh-oh. I can feel my brain exploding, so I better wrap this up. Brian K. Vaughan actually did a lot of really good work this year--like Bendis a few years back, he seemed to single-handedly raise the bar on what I considered a good comic book--but this Vertigo OGN features jaw-droppingly lovely art by Niko Henrichon and a very smart high concept used to good effect. In fact, most of the criticism I remember reading about this work was that it seemed too polished--like something that had already been smoothed and cleaned by producers of Dreamworks and several rounds of audience score cards. If the worst Vaughan has to offer is a near-Spielbergian proficiency (and complacency), he's in for a very long and successful career.

PUNISHER MAX VOL 6 BARRACUDA TPB: I thought this storyline kicked ass, thanks to Gorlan Parlov's superlative cartooning chops, Ennis' humorously bloody storyline and the cheerful, obscene and unstoppable Barracuda.

SCOTT PILGRIM AND THE INFINITE SADNESS TPB: Bryan Lee O'Malley continued to stretch his abilities in this third book in the Scott Pilgrim saga. While not my favorite, I'm actually comforted that it wasn't--it means that O'Malley isn't complacent, is still trying to give the audience what he thinks we need, as well as what we want--but it still was jammed full of witty dialogue, madcap ideas and showstopping sequences. Awesome minus one is still awesome, as it turns out.

SHAOLIN COWBOY #6: Might've been the only issue of the title from Geoff Darrow this year, I'm not sure at the moment--but it continued to blow my mind, making me feel like I'd just read the most insane comic book by Hieronymus Bosch to date. We need more of these.

PUNISHER THE TYGER: A one-shot by Garth Ennis and John Severin that fills in Frank Castle's early years but avoids a lot of the cheap and easy pre-origin shout-outs you might expect. Instead, Ennis suggests that someone like Frank Castle--like the namesake of Blake's poem--is understandable only by the God who made him, or maybe as proof of God's non-existence altogether. Really knocked me on my ass.

SEVEN SOLDIERS #1: Grant Morrison wraps up his Seven Soldiers saga by recreating the experience of the first superhero comic you ever read. I really enjoyed all the other Seven Soliders books (and loved the Frankenstein mini) but this was my favorite because Morrison all but single-handedly kicked the Internet's ass with it.

(This, by the way, is also what Hibbs would call my "neener-neener" post as you can see how my original review talks about that "first comic book" experience without knowing Morrison's intentions, and then Morrison himself talks about them in that great interview with Ian Brill over at Newsarama a little bit later. I'm still annoyingly proud of that.)

TALES DESIGNED TO THRIZZLE #3: Every comic book gift list should have at least one book that is nothing but hysterically funny-ass shit. This is that book.

TOP 10: THE FORTY NINERS: Blah, blah, blah, Alan Moore, sensitive, blah, blah, blah. Okay, brain officially broken.

TRAILERS HC: (But even though my brain is broken, you should check this out because it's a neat little book--imagine Terry Moore drawing Blood Simple and you've got an idea of what this book is like.

VAMPIRE LOVES: I think I described this as being like a Geoffrey Brown book co-written and drawn by Charles Addams. And wow, do I think that makes me sound like an asshole now. Nonetheless, this winning book about an young Nosferatu looking for love is great reading and worth getting, no matter how much of a twerp I can be.

YOTSUBA&!: Finally, a great little overlooked comedic gem by Kiyohiko Azuma about a cute little girl and the family and neighbors she amuses. Not nearly as annoying as it sounds, I swear. Imagine, I dunno, a less-mean Japanese Seinfeld with a kid in it. Um, or maybe you shouldn't...

Oh, wait. Where's The Great Catsby (manwha that's like Chuck Jones animating a short story by Thomas "You Can't Go Home Again" Wolfe) or Love Roma (a lovely little episodic manga about first love that is utterly unique--in some places it's almost a Japanese relationship training film directed by Jim Jarmusch)? Fuck. Well, get them too, will you? I'm off to take some advil and get some dinner. I'll probably post again before the new year but, if not, have an excellent rest of 2006!