Arriving 2/22

Plenty of reviews below this post, if you only scan the front page... A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #29 (A) ALL NEW OFF HANDBOOK MARVEL UNIVERSE A TO Z #2 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #529 AMERICAN WAY #1 (OF 8) ASTONISHING X-MEN #13 ATLAS #2 (Still missing over half our order…) BART SIMPSON COMICS #28 BATMAN #650 BATMAN JOURNEY INTO KNIGHT #7(OF 12) BIG QUESTIONS #8 BLACK PANTHER #13 BLACK WIDOW 2 #6 (OF 6) BOOK OF LOST SOULS #5 CAPTAIN AMERICA #15 CARTOON NETWORK BLOCK PARTY #18 CATWOMAN #52 CRICKETS #1 DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES #4 (OF4) DRAGONLANCE CHRONICLES KURTH CVR A #7 (OF 8) DUEL #2 (OF 4) EXILES #77 FANTASTIC FOUR #535 FRESHMEN #6 (OF 6) GI JOE SIGMA 6 #3 GLOOMCOOKIE #26 GREEN LANTERN #9 I HEART MARVEL OUTLAW LOVE IN THE BLOOD #1 (OF 4) INTIMIDATORS #3 INVINCIBLE SCRIPT BOOK #1 IRON MAN THE INEVITABLE #3 (OF 6) JLA CLASSIFIED #17 KABUKI #6 KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #112 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #15 LUBAS COMICS & STORIES #7 LUCHA POP ONE SHOT LUCIFER #71 MARVEL MILESTONES DRAGON LORDSPEEDBALL & MAN IN THE SKY MARVEL SPOTLIGHT JOSS WHEDON MICHAEL LARK MOUSE GUARD #1 NEW X-MEN #23 NICK FURY HOWLING COMMANDOS #5 NORTHWEST PASSAGE #2 ORIGINAL ADVENTURES OF CHOLLYAND FLYTRAP #1 (OF 2) PARIS #3 (OF 4) POLLY & THE PIRATES #4 (OF 6) PORTENT #1 PVP #23 RISING STARS UNTOUCHABLE #1 (OF 5) ROBOTIKA #2 SAVAGE DRAGON #123 SENTRY #6 (OF 8) SOLO #9 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #159 SPAWN #153 SPELLGAME #3 SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #3 STAR WARS KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC #2 STORM #1 (OF 6) SUPERGIRL #5 SUPREME POWER HYPERION #4 (OF5) TALES FROM RIVERDALE DIGEST #9 TALES OF TEENAGE MUTANT NINJATURTLES #20 TEEN TITANS GO #28 THE GIFT #14 THING #4 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #90 ULTIMATE WOLVERINE VS HULK #2(OF 6) UNCLE SCROOGE #351 UNRULY A COMIX & LITERARY JOURNAL #1 USAGI YOJIMBO #91 VIGILANTE #6 (OF 6) WALT DISNEYS COMICS & STORIES #666 WARLORD #1 WOLVERINE #39 WONDER WOMAN #226 WRAITHBORN #5 (OF 6) X-MEN #183 ZOMBIE TALES DEATH VALLEY #2

Books / Mags / Stuff ACME CATALOG TP ANIMATION MAGAZINE MAR 2006 #158 ASIAN CULT CINEMA #49 BATMAN KNIGHTFALL INNER CASE ASST BATTLE CLUB VOL 1 GN (OF 2) BECK MONGOLIAN CHOP SQUAD VOL3 GN (OF 19) BLUESMAN VOL 1 GN NEW PTG BOOK OF DEADY VOL 1 TP COMICS BUYERS GUIDE MAY 2006 #1616 FOLLOWING CEREBUS #7 GOLGO 13 VOL 1 GN GRAPHIC CLASSICS VOL 13 RAFAEL SABATINI HE DONE HER WRONG HC HOUSE OF M SPIDER-MAN TP HOUSE OF M WORLD OF M TP IRON WOK JAN GN #16 JAYSON VOL 1 BEST OF THE 80S TP JAYSON VOL 2 BEST OF THE 90S TP JLA THE GREATEST STORIES EVERTOLD TP MAYBE MAYBE NOT AGAIN GN (NEWPTG) MAYBE MAYBE NOT GN (NEW PTG) NAOKI URASAWAS MONSTER VOL 1 TP NEW WARRIORS REALITY CHECK TP PREVIEWS VOL XVI #3 PUT THE BOOK BACK ON SHELF BELLE & SEBASTIAN ANTHOLOGY GN SIMPSONS COMICS VOL 14 JAM PACKED JAMBOREE TP SUPERMAN CHRONICLES VOL 1 TP SUPERMAN THE JOURNEY TP SWAMP THING BOOK 3 HEALING THE BREACH TP THE ART OF USAGI YOJIMBO TP TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #142 TRANSFORMERS GENERATION 1 VOL1 TP (IDW) WARCRAFT VOL 2 GN (OF 3) WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE INFINITE CRISIS CVR #174 ZIPPY TYPE Z PERSONALITY TP

What looks good to YOU this week?

-B

Hibbs' 2/15 comics

I'm just crazy busy these days -- getting ready to go to NY for the con out there, too (Yeah: 2 cos in the shortest month of the year, good plan!) -- but I feel so lame that I'm not getting reviews up, so here are a few... First off, scroll down a smidge and read Graeme's review of Eddie Campbell's FATE OF THE ARTIST. I very much agree with what he said there, and it is really a terrific, terrific book that you'll want for your shelves.

ACTION COMICS #836: Yeah, I don't know about this, really. A big part of it reads like "Oh, hey, we're counted wrong and need another month of SUperman comics during Crisis" -- but, even in the context of Crisis, I'm wholly unsure where this is set, or what it is meant to be. I guess it is somewhat interesting to see how the "Earth 2" Superman would have reacted to the post-MAN OF STEEL story beats of "our" Superman, but it doesn't really jibe well with Crisis. We have the multiple earths back, for the moment at least, but the multiple earths have always had multiple versions of characters -- Wally AND Jay, for the Flash-y example. If it doesn't, then "Earth 1".... well, there's not much there is there? No "big 3" yields a lot of other changes -- no Titans, for example, and so on and so forth. There's, what, maybe a dozen viable characters left? On the other hand, this *can't* be what happened to e2-Supes, because we already "know" several of these beats -- that's clearly not how Clark & Bruce met for the first time on e2. So is this some sort of an "amalgam"-style character, then? It hurts my wittle head, is all I know. Having said that, I basically enjoyed this issue (though the last-page(s) beats were pretty jarring and off) -- but it seems to me this is largely impenetrable unless you've been following Superman pretty closely over the last 20 (!) years. EH.

ANGRY YOUTH COMIX #10: I really liked Ivan Brunetti's HAW -- it was just sick and wrong and uncomfortable to read. I didn't have that same reaction to Brunetti's HEE -- don't know if it was the postage stamp size, or the relatively cleaner and more confident line working against the jarring content, or, maybe, it was just "Been there, done that". This issue of ANGRY YOUTH reads more like "HAW II" (Hm... "Oh, yes, there will be blood.... in your farts"?) than HEE ever did, and I really enjoyed it. Well, "enjoyed", you know what I mean. There's a good density of filth and wrongness here that can only be achieved by single panel gags, and that Ryan is usually unable to sustain when doing a regular narrative. I'll give it a GOOD, though I know I'm going STRAIGHT TO HELL for saying that.

BATGIRL #73: It's funny that both of the 2 BatBooks ending, end this week (Gotham Central was only sorta a BatBook) -- what's even funnier is that there are STILL so many BatBooks, that no one really noticed that they've ganked two of them... Batgirl was always one of those titles I never understood getting greenlit in the first place. She was a purely manufactured character, coming out of left field during a crossover, not organically, or thematically fitting with the rest of the Bat-stuff. There was never any real "fan clamoring" for the character to get her own book, and, by and large, no one ever seemed to be able to provide a real reason or motivation for the character that was, to this reader at least, especially compelling. Much more "High Concept Logline" than "This Is Interesting To Read" -- "she's the superhero who can't read"! stuff like that, you know? And, so, this ending is well overdue. Problem is, and has been with the character, that it plays the "She is SO awesome!" card -- "She's SO awesome.... she beats Lady Shiva!" Which I, personally, think largely devalues Shiva at the expense of the Company trying to sell you on a character. Oddly (see below), with a more ambiguous ending, this could have, possibly, added some threads to the DCU, but with her ending heroically, I feel that it has just taken from the bat-mythos, and didn't replace it with anything BETTER. So..... EH.

BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #74: The second "Why didn't you kill this five years ago?" BatBook ending this week, and, owie wowie, what a terrible ending it is! "Resolving" the Hush storyline as a kind of a "Lady or the Tiger" ending is sloppy, lame, and, generally as misguided as the previous editorial reign on the BatBooks have been. I mean, the whole issue underlines that, for right or wrong, Batman doesn't kill -- making the ending illogical, to put it mildly. Absolute CRAP.

BATMAN YEAR ONE HUNDRED #1: A good, solid thriller that rocketed along, with style and panache. Too bad it is Prestige format, because the economics of those books make them very hard to reprint. This'll make a good TP come September, or so... VERY GOOD.

DAREDEVIL #82: See, I can't buy that the fiction of the blind man in jail would hold up for more than 48 hours, maybe. Matt gives it away, what, 3 times this issue alone? So, really, the whole premise of the story pretty much betrays the execution in my mind. Having said that, this wasn't bad or anything... just preposterous, and preposterism gives me the EHs.

NEW AVENGERS #16: All of the Energy of All of the Ex-Mutants inanely comes down to earth and one man, who proceeds to have a lot of full page shots of shit 'sploding, and he apparently kills Alpha Flight. *shrug* To me, this is just leaping off the rails -- rails it was barely on to begin with. Yet it sells like a monster, go figure. I say: EH

PLANETARY BRIGADE #1: I like me some bwah-ha-ha, is all I can say. GOOD.

SUPERMARKET #1: Terrific little book, I found the setup and the world to be a hundred times more convincing than DMZ. Gorgeous art, too. VERY GOOD.

ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #27: I like a good, stupid, time-travel-changes-everything story as the next man, but given the perceived time-line of the Ultimate U (I'd say that no more than 2 years have passed, maximum?), the ending gag seemed like a pretty insane reach, really. So... OK, I guess.

X-MEN DEADLY GENESIS #4: That seems like such an odd continuity implant to make, but it sorta works OK -- the last two parts of this are really going to have to sell me the motivations, though. A lowish GOOD.

Yeah, that's short, I know -- but Ben should be back from the zoo in like 15 minutes, and I still haven't started my normal Monday morning work yet, ay yi yi!

PICK OF THE WEEK: I think I'll go with SUPERMARKET #1 -- sure hope my reorder goes through, though.

PICK OF THE WEAK: Easy choice: BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #74 was really really bad.

BOOK/TP OF THE WEEK: Sure, I could take the obvious path and say the finally-back-in-print KID ETERNITY, but, instead I will continue to recommend the simply-drawn, but very deep, KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE BUNDLE OF TROUBLE v15.

What did YOU think this week?

-B

Pre-ordering is my friend: A lesson learned through reviews of 2/15 books.

The drawback of being sick this week – besides, you know, that whole being sick part of the whole deal – is that by the time I got to the store this week to pick up things to read and review, the two books that I’d really been looking forward to (Brian Wood’s new one, SUPERMARKET, and Paul Pope’s BATMAN YEAR 100) were sold out already, or at least invisible to my eyes. I know, I know; if I’d preordered them then all would’ve been fine, but it’s not like I’ve ever been good at planning ahead at any point in my life up to now. I get anxious about thinking about the future, you see. I’m always convinced that, if I tell Bri that I really want Showcase Presents Superman Volume 2 in May, then I’ll somehow manage to die in April, and when I come back as the latest Spectre, I’d have to find some way to find $16.99 in ectoplasmic dollars anyway. Anyway, no Supermarket or Batman Year 100 for me this week. Sorry. (The good thing about being sick this week? Watching Gilmore Girls on ABC Family and feeling no shame, because you’re supposed to watch shitty TV when you can’t think straight, right? Gilmore Girls has become my new guilty TV pleasure, now that Veronica Mars and The OC are both off-air right now.)

ACTION COMICS #836: Okay, I have no idea what’s supposed to be going on here (Yes, I know it’s part two of a three-parter; I didn’t read part one, I admit). It’s like the story of Superman’s past, with everything fluxing between John Byrne’s version of the character, Geoff Johns’ version of Earth-2 Superman and the Mark Waid Birthright version, with history being rewritten randomly, and some Superman (the Earth-2 self-righteous one, I think) narrating everything. I think it’s “What If Superman was a pompous dick?” but there’s nothing resembling an explanation of why this is happening or what it all means (Someone who enjoyed Joe Kelly’s previous Superman and JLA work much less than me might make a “Joe Kelly writes a confusing story? No!” joke here, but I am a finer man, above such cracks). For readers who aren’t familiar with Superman or DC comics over the past twenty years, a lot of this story will mean nothing at all to them; it’s complete fanboy continuity porn, everything that’s bad about Infinite Crisis without any of the good things (like a story in and of itself, outside of any retcons or fixes). Art for this book is split between seven million artists from editor Eddie Berganza’s tenure on the Superman books, including a cover from onetime Man of Steel writer Mark Schultz. Parts are nice – Doug Mahnke and Lee Bermejo are always nice to see – but it’s far too disjointed in terms of quality for a story that’s already pretty hard to understand… It feels like filler, like so many of the main DC titles in the last few months as they kill time before the whole One Year Later jump. It’s weird, the amount of positive buzz that DC are getting for their superhero books right now, considering how crappy those books have been recently. Awful, really.

ANGRY YOUTH COMIX #10: Hi, I’m very very old. I realized that when looking through Johnny Ryan’s latest, and thinking that it’s probably very funny and controversial and great if you have the mentality of a twelve year old, but for me, not so good. For those who haven’t seen this book, imagine really shitty unfunny New Yorker cartoons with lots of dick, fart and rape jokes. Don’t get me wrong; I have no problem with dick, fart and rape jokes – Well, maybe rape jokes – but unfunny jokes? Yeah, that’s not so okay in my book. Sadly, I’m not one of those people who thinks that pissing or farting are inherently funny things in and of themselves, so most of this book falls horrendously flat for me. That’s not to say that there aren’t any funny jokes in here (The Moby Dick one, I loved, which kind of goes any claims of highbrow or snob I may have going for me), but holy fucking Christ, please come up with some actual jokes before you try and do another “Special All Gag Issue,” Johnny. Because this one? Crap.

DAREDEVIL #82: Ed Brubaker and Michael Lark take over the Book Without Fear, and find themselves picking up on Bendis’s jail-happy conclusion: Matt Murdock is behind bars, Foggy Nelson has hooked up with obscure 80s detective Dakota North, and someone else has started dressing up as Daredevil to protect Hell’s Kitchen. Bru hits the ground running here, with what seems to me his strongest writing since Sleeper – Maybe he just works best for me in this kind of hopeless situation populated by morally conflicted characters – and Lark’s art is as good as ever, although the coloring by Frank D’Armata overwhelms it with some crazy over-rendering in places. I’m cautiously optimistic about this – this issue is Very Good, but I thought the same about the first few issues of Brubaker’s Captain America before that seemed to become bogged down in itself before it was a year old.

FIRESTORM #22: So, to recap: In Infinite Crisis #4, Firestorm died. In Infinite Crisis #5, he comes back to life. In between, there are two issues of Firestorm’s own title to fill, and this is the second one. If you’re expecting to see the reborn Firestorm by the end of this issue, though, you’re out of luck, as one of the characters admits in the last panel: “Firestorm’s back! Finally!” Stuart Moore writes this thankless task as best as he can, using the time to explain what the new version of Firestorm will be able to do when he finally comes back, but yet again, it’s obvious filler that can’t step on the toes of Infinite Crisis but also can’t do anything of interest until One Year Later. OK, at best.

(Out of interest, since I last did regular reviews, the final issues of both Gotham Central and JLA have shipped, and both of them fell into the same trap as Firestorm and Action – Nothing of value happened. Gotham Central, in particular, was a disappointment considering the quality of the previous couple of issues, with no resolution to the main plot nor to Montoya’s character arc, because the characters are needed in larger series later (Montoya will be in 52, Allen in The Spectre). JLA, meanwhile, continues the mess that was the last storyline without getting any better. You know it’s a bad sign when the most interesting thing that happened in the last six issues was the inclusion of a Flash plotline that went absolutely nowhere, presumably due to last-minute changes elsewhere.)

HELLBLAZER #217: Denise Mina continues her attempt to get John Constantine to Glasgow, and what seemed like a one-off McGuffin from last issue turns out to have greater significance than what I’d assumed. Some of the narration is overdone – The “I’m rain water running down a drain” monologue in particular felt like writing, as opposed to someone telling a story – but overall, there’s a lot that rings true in the dialogue, and the plot’s appropriately downbeat: Empathy is something that kills you. Leonardo Manco’s art reads like cut-rate Tim Bradsheet: Photo-realistic, but static and posed, and it isn’t helped by some odd coloring choices in certain scenes. It’s a Good book, but a frustrating one, because it feels like it should be better.

PLANETARY BRIGADE #1: Here’s another of my terrible secrets: While I liked Giffen and DeMatteis’s Justice League way back in the day, I don’t get why so many people are so excited about seeing them together again on other books. It’s lazy nostalgia for everyone involved, like watching the Rolling Stones at the Superbowl do “Start Me Up” for the seven millionth time, purely going through the motions (I’m probably the only person who was completely underwhelmed by their two returns to the Justice League characters, aren’t I? They both just felt so safe, smug and uninspired). Despite the opportunity provided by it being a new creator-owned book, Planetary Brigade, their new book for Ross Richie’s Boom! Studios, is more of the exactly the same: There’s the Superman analogue, the Batman analogue, the Wonder Woman analogue, the cynical aloof mystic (like J’Onn in JLA), the shallow, selfish but with hidden heart of gold woman (like Fire in JLA)… The bickering snarky dialogue is tired, the characters barely introduced, and the plot just kind of… there. For those who love Giffen and DeMatteis and what they do, this is probably great, but for me, Eh at best. I’d much rather see the two writers do what they’re more interested in, like DeMatteis’s Abadazad or any of Giffen’s many other Boom! Books. Nice to see Mark Badger and Eduardo Barretto doing some more work, though.

(I’ve now dissed Johnny Ryan and Giffen and DeMatteis – Somewhere, Kevin Church is plotting my downfall, I can tell.)

PICK OF THE WEEK, surprisingly, ends up being Daredevil. Who knew? PICK OF THE WEAK is Action Comics, because as much as I disliked Angry Youth, at least it was coherent and didn’t rely on me having read 20 years of earlier Johnny Ryan comics. I’m tempted to say that DC in general should get Pick of The Weak, because I’m getting mighty bored of the majority of DC’s superhero line being stuck in neutral and waiting for Infinite Crisis to finish. TRADE OF THE WEEK is the deeply overdue Kid Eternity trade, where Grant Morrison and Duncan Fegredo tell you that a glowing blue boy with the power to raise the dead doesn’t mean that you’re immune to late-80s “chaos magic” iconography trends.

I’m still pissed that Supermarket sold out so quickly, though.

For Eddie Campbell fans...

So, a couple of things different about this edition of Le Critique Sauvage, neither of which involves the fact that I’m now referring to the name of this blog in its French incarnation. No, dear readers, the couple of things are about the book I’m writing about: Firstly, it’s not out yet, and secondly, I loved it to pieces. It’s the second of those that presents the most problems for me, as I’m sure you can imagine. How am I supposed to be snarky and make cheap jokes when I enjoyed the damn thing? Anyway, THE FATE OF THE ARTIST: For those of you who took my and Jeff’s recommendations to read the last issue of The Comics Journal for the interview with Eddie Campbell, I should probably start off by telling you that his new book really is as good as it looked. There’s a book that I loved, years ago, by Michael Ondaatje (the guy who wrote The English Patient, which was the basis for the movie of the same name, but better), called The Collected Works of Billy The Kid. It was a biography of the eponymous cowboy, but not in the conventional sense – Instead, it was fictional pieces about the people and things that Henry McCarty had touched in his life, excerpts from newspapers, or people’s recollections, or poetry, all complete pieces in and of themselves that also added up into something entirely different when taken in context with each other. That’s what Campbell has done in this book, about himself. He’s following through on one of his promises/threats in the TCJ interview in a way, creating something that has the sensibility of a graphic novel without necessarily fitting into the narrow definition of what a graphic novel is supposed to be. Instead, we get a collection of prose, fumetti, fake newspaper strips (of which my favorite is easily “Angry Cook,” where Hayley Campbell fails to experience the many joys of the kitchen and swears a lot) and short comic strips that come together to tell the story of Campbell’s mysterious disappearance and suspected death. It’s a book that ties together things from his previous books. There’s the human element from The King Canute Club (and Graffitti Kitchen, which I always end up putting in with that book); not just the way that Campbell reduces emotions and events to a basicness that makes everything seem universal, but also the way that you can tell that he loves the way that people are, and act. There’s also the investigative element of something like How To Be An Artist, where the book has a framework that tries to hide the autobiographical core inside another genre, and After The Snooter gets represented as the story itself is about what happened after Campbell’s depression/midlife crisis from that book affected the one thing that he’d always had before: the ability to be creative. When I put it like that, mind you, it sounds like this terribly heavy and difficult book, and that’s entirely the opposite of what it is; despite the sleight of hands involved, this is still very much full of the humor that made his earlier work so wonderful, and even if you ignore everything beneath the surface, it’s still a very funny book. It’s just that it’s so much more complex than his earlier work, as well.

When I was reading it for the second time – it really invites multiple readings; as soon as I finished it the first time, I immediately turned back to the first page and started again – I realized that it felt like nothing to me as much as what happens when Eddie Campbell gets influenced by Chris Ware. I’m not quite sure where that came from, because it’s not as if this reads anything like anything that Ware has done. It’s more in the format of the thing, which involves recreations and pastiches of past eras and storytelling techniques (There’s also a running theme of Campbell’s continuous self-depreciation written in the third person, which now that I think about it, mirrors some of Ware’s writing. Hmm) that loop around a larger story that refuses to completely reveal itself on first sitting, just as Campbell himself refuses to do in the book itself, until the epilogue adaptation of an O. Henry essay.

None of this is very pull-quote-tastic, is it? You’ve probably all fallen asleep already, or skipped to Bri’s shipping list for the week or something. If you’re still here, I’ll try to summarize: If you’re an Eddie Campbell fan, you will love Fate of The Artist. If you’re not an Eddie Campbell fan, but want something more from your comics than Infinite Crises and Wars, Civil or Secret or whatever, then this is something that will not disappoint: A graphic novel that lives up to the “novel” part of the term, something that is vast and messy and beautiful and ambitious. Never mind Comic (or Trade) Of The Week, this is easily a contender for Comic Of The Year. Excellent and then some, and highly recommended when it comes out in April.

This Sunday, by the way? Reviews of books that will actually be on sale when I post 'em.

Dour, Sour Power: Jeff's Reviews for 2/1 Books....

What happens when you take a surly, apathetic, quasi-aphasic grump and make him review comics? Let's find out, shall we? CAPTAIN AMERICA #14: I like Ed Brubaker. I like his writing, and I like him. (He used to shop CE when he lived in the city and he was a mensch.) And considering we're both fans of the Englehart run, I should really like his work on Captain America, and I do...more or less. And, also, I have to give him double bonus-points for managing to actually bring back Bucky (barring some future revelation that he's faked us out) and successfully make his case for it in front of all of Internet fandom. Having said all that, I have to admit I put this issue down feeling kind of underwhelmed. It's probably just my whole resistance to the Bucky thing from the beiginning, or a screw-up in the precious balance of antidepressants I must take hourly, or something, but fourteen issues just to get us to this ending left me cold--so now Bucky is wandering around the Marvel Universe and we'll get to see him and Wolverine making out (err, I mean, fighting)? Now that Bucky is "in play" again, chances seem incredibly slight he won't end up devalued currency in a very short time (heading up some revival of The Champions by Joss Whedon in 2007 or taking X-23's virginity in Thunderbolts in 2008 or something). The writing's good, the art is really strong, so I feel I can't give it anything less than Good, but I found it a demoralizing Good, to be honest. You more than likely will feel differently.

DETECTIVE COMICS #816: Nothing really new here, but I thought it was comparatively understated for what we normally get from a Batman book, particularly one with Zsasz on the loose and Alfred as bait, and a police department in Batman's way. Particularly nice was that Batman's action were clear and yet they weren't over-explained: I dreaded the caption where Batman would explain he's goading on Zsasz just to draw him out, and it never came. Won't change the world, but I found it Good.

DOC SAMSON #2: It's times like this I wish Sal Buscema was still getting work in the industry. Because what we've got here isn't really that different than a weird-ass Defenders story Steve Gerber might've written in 1975. Unfortunately for writer Paul Di Fillippo, the artist here stumbles on a few choice storytelling points making the whole thing seem less like intentional kookiness and more like misguided amateurishness. Or maybe it is misguided amateurishness, plain and simple. Either way, though, it was stinky pile of Crap and that's a shame.

EXTERMINATORS #2: If any of the characters were at all likeable, would I mind such obvious ripping off from the film version of Naked Lunch? Yeah, but probably not as much (because, come on, both the movie and the novel have some pretty amazing stuff in it). Or, come to think of it, I might tolerate such a jaundiced view of human nature if it had an originaility of vision working for it. Should get an Eh, but since I had hopes for the book and I"m stuck buying the issues I signed up for, I'll go down to Awful.

FANTASTIC FOUR #534: JMS seems committed to showing us stuff we've never seen in a FF book. Take this issue, for example: he gives us a battle between Thing and Hulk that is insanely dull. Makes that recent horrible Hulk/Thing mini by Bruce Jones and Jae Lee seem like Wagner by comparison. The epitome of Eh.

FANTASTIC FOUR IRON MAN BIG IN JAPAN #4: As Heidi mentioned, Seth Fisher was one of the very few artists able to stay true to his idiosyncratic vision and still get work drawing superheroes, and it's likely the medium will be the worse for his death. If you're of the half-full approach, you can see this issue (and this mini) as a celebration of his life by the sheer dint of the playful vitality apparent in his art. If you're of the half-empty approach, you can ruminate on the unlikely chance of Marvel collecting it and keeping it in print for any extended period of time. I would've given this issue a Very Good anyway, because Fisher's art is amazing and Zeb Wells crafted a very smart, enjoyable plot. But in the wake of Seth Fisher's death, it kind of transcends all that. So if you see these issues, get 'em. You may not see their like again.

FURY PEACEMAKER #1: By keeping a straight face, Ennis and Robertson pull off a much nastier and much funnier work than their first Nick Fury mini. Here, it's a relatively brutal take on Robert Kanigher cliches--every flashback to a presentation of equipment that could save the new troop's ass is a preface to the troop's torment by said equipment--that creates an unsettling atmosphere of black humor. It's a neat trick, and I hope these guys have similarly effective stuff up their sleeve for future issues. Good, and better than I expected.

FUTURAMA COMICS #23: Similarly, Boothby's tale neatly spoofs the obsessions of Weisinger's Silver Age stories while also recapturing them: I actually found myself worried about Fry and the others as they floated helplessly in "The Fandom Zone." Hibbs thought it was pretty one-note all the way through but the grumpy old fucker never posts here anymore anyway, so what does he know? Quite Good and I think Boothby's work here has inspired me to go hunt down the DVDs of all the seasons of the show I missed.

GOTHAM CENTRAL #40: I guess being a magical construct, Internal Affairs no longer exists in the DCU as a result of Day of Vengeance. Fair enough. It also would've been nice if there'd been another neat little twist once the Corrigan/red herring was shown up. But, whatevs: I'm just glad the book lasted as long as it did. OK.

GREEN LANTERN #8: The key to defeating the Black Mercy was clever, but what was with Mongul punching his sister's head off? I'm not sure why Johns keeps going for the "nacho cheese extreme" version of GL when a well-crafted regular "nacho cheese" version would work just fine. (Maybe it's to distinguish it from all the other GL titles we're going to have in a few months?) OK.

HARD TIME SEASON TWO #3: Another strong issue, all the more so because the ostensible bad guy acts so decent up until the very end. The touchy-feely liberal in me is a little antsy about where it might be going (the body-modification guy is a bad guy? The transgendered person is easily flattered and seduced? It's all very Bruckheimeresque) but Good, overall.

I HEART MARVEL: MY MUTANT HEART: There are the two Daniel Ways--the one who's crafted surprisingly strong Nighthawk and Bullseye minis and the one who seems genuinely bewildered by the basics of concise storytelling. Sadly, the latter Way is getting more work, as evidenced by the embarrassingly incomplete "Wolverine" story here. It's especially embarrassing next to Peter Milligan's story that, alhtough suffering from some of the same faults (less of a stand-alone than a riff on his other work, can see the ending coming from a mile away) but actually gets a beginning, middle and end in there (and is clever to boot). Finally, every character in the X-Men universe has slept with every other character by now, and Sam Guthrie is *still* dating the intergalactic rockstar/thief? Is it only Chris Claremont's worst ideas that hang around forever? Awful, but for the Milligan story.

LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #14: Those illustrated letters pages? Awesome. The rest of it? Good. I hope I'm not supposed to take the metacommentary at all seriously, however. (Although there was something kinda cool about a fanboy rampage being the story's turning point--I hope Graeme caught that.)

MARVEL ROMANCE REDUX: BUT HE SAID HE LOVED ME #1: I agree with Hibbs: opening with that hilarious "President Stripper" story kinda kills the rest of the book, because none of the other stories even come close. That said, they're pretty fun, the art in some cases is mighty keen, and they have their charms. But "President Stripper" blows the rest of them away. Certainly worth reading (although worth buying? Tough call). A lowish Good but "President Stripper"? Awesome.

MARVEL TEAM-UP #17: I couldn't tell if Kirkman's point is that these characters are such losers that, when given a month to prepare, they spend all their time sightseeing and starting up romances, or to give us a certain "Days of Future Past" ruefulness when the bloodshed starts next ish and the time-crossed lovers have to make a sacrifice to defeat the bad guy that means their love never existed. Either way, overly padded by half. Eh.

OUTSIDERS #33: Ironic that Outsiders feels more focused than it has in about six months and everything comes to a screeching halt for the "One Year Later" afterboot. OK, but who knows where it'll go from here.

POWERS #16: Weirdly, I saw this coming--I mean, none of the details, I admit, but the idea that Walker will get powers? Yeah, saw that one from a mile away (so much so, I hope I'm being played). But it was well-executed, and a Good read.

SABLE & FORTUNE #2: Wow, that's some biiiiiig hair. Sable really seems like she should be waiting tables in Vegas with that hair. (And did John Burns' end up doing any well-distributed collections of Modesty Blaise or something? Because as soon as I saw the work, I thought of ol' M.B., and I've never, that I can recall, read any Modesty Blaise stories in my life.) Seriously great art, an utterly predictable story, so I guess I'm going with OK. But if you've ever considered yourself a Neal Adams or Gray Morrow fan, ever, you should really check this out.

SENTRY #5: The ratio of boring/draggy/obvious stuff to cool shit is about 5:1, just enough to ensure I read every issue of this and hate myself for doing so. Yeah, that's just great. Eh.

SEVEN SOLDIERS BULLETEER #3: All the blogspot sites have been down for most of the afternoon, but I bet Jog has more interesting stuff to say about this than whatever I could come up with. So I'll just say the superhero convention commentary is trenchant and depressing and brilliant enough to make up for a relatively scattershot story. (It'd be cool if it's Morrison, not the Bulleteer, that's going here through the archetypal heroic trial pattern Jog sees repeating in all the SS minis). Good.

SUPREME POWER NIGHTHAWK #6: Obvious and flat and probably needlessly bloody, but you know what? I still thought it was pretty Good. Just about everything you'd want in a Batman analogue story (which, admittedly, is its weakness).

THUNDERBOLT JAXON #1: After being deeply indifferent to the Terra Obscura minis, I didn't think I'd care about this either, but the elegance of its first two-thirds drew me in. Something about the insistence on threes, and the understated way the kids talked to each other, and each of their burdens. It caught more of the old, strange magic lurking behind those Captain Marvel origin story than anything I've seen DC do with the Big Red Cheese, that's for sure. So I'm in for another issue, curious to see where it goes. Good.

PICK OF THE WEEK: It would've been FANTASTIC FOUR IRON MAN BIG IN JAPAN #4 even without the tragic events of this week, but now it's kinda impossible not to recommend.

PICK OF THE WEAK: DOC SAMPSON #2 becuase it gives trademark retention a bad name.

TRADE PICK: I have to say, if the MARVEL ROMANCE TPB had been $14.99 instead of $19.99? I would've grabbed it. Some of that Romita, Buscema and Colan work is heartbreakingly good. (There's a short-haired girl in one of those stories that just looks...yow.) And if all of the stories from SUPERMAN MAN OF TOMORROW ARCHIVES VOL 2 hadn't been reprinted in that wonderful SHOWCASE edition, I probably would've gotten that, too. So I'll go with GOON VOL 4 MY VIRTUE & GRIM CONSEQUENCES TPB because it's great stuff.

NEXT WEEK: Jesus fucking Christ, could they have made Wondercon any more irresistible? The only thing missing is an Allyson Hannigan kissing booth! And then after that, I'll be out of the country for a few weeks. So, uh, please understand if I go AWOL for a bit. (I may post anyway, but I wouldn't bet on it.)

No New News: Jeff's Reviews of 1/25/06 Books...

I started writing these reviews in Word before remembering what a big ol' pain in the ass smart quotes end up being when you pull 'em into Blogger. Man, that drives me nuts. And despite trying to get these finished before Graeme, he still has his reviews up first. They're right below mine and you don't want to miss 'em. ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #648: Wow, someone really needs to recalibrate the Ruckatron 3000: This was simultaneously a crossover issue and a fill-in issue, filled with cut-and-paste flibberdigibbet about the inspiration Superman provides by punching walking septic tanks. Admittedly, I only spent four minutes reading it, but I think that was only half the time it took Rucka to write it. Awful.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #528: Yes, yes, but does he now have double, bilaterally symmetrical genitalia? Isn't that a more disturbing discovery than being able to see in the dark? Eh.

BATMAN #649: Stumbles pretty badly for at least a couple of reasons: the art was a letdown from the usual Mahnke finery; The Joker ends up being handled horribly (but that's pretty much par for the course for the last, I dunno, fifteen years or so); and The Red Hood seems less like an archvillain and more like a Mary Sue every issue: Ooo, he made The Joker stop laughing! Also, the cliffhanger ending has no tension if you read Adventures of Superman #648, out this very week. If the book gets back on track for #650, I won’t mind too much, but this is, at best, a very disappointed bottom-barrel Eh from me.

CATWOMAN #51: It’s a shame that DC's whole "OMFG, MINDWIPE!" is so tiresome by now, because Selina's search for her real identity is a nice way to give this book some narrative direction. The art is good, the scenes are well-written, and one can lose hours of one's life wondering how long the cover artist spent to get Catwoman's cleavage to glow like that. And yet I still don't care too much, which is a drag. OK.

DAREDEVIL #81: TV shows and movies have really killed my appreciation for the delirious "this can't be happening!" sequence that turns out, yup, to not actually be happening. But it was used to beautiful effect here: that Murdock ends up being jailed as a flight risk, after we've seen him work out exactly why he won't flee, gives his imprisonment a real punch. I thought the last two years of Bendis and Maleev's run weren't nearly as satisfying as the first few, but this was a great end to the run. Very Good stuff.

EXILES #76: What I like about this book is that it's about as much as I probably want to read about the 2099 books--two issues can jam all the concepts together to make it seem like a dense complex place, whereas doing a fifth week, five title event would reveal it to be the vacant, tumbleweed-adorned plain that it is. OK.

GANGES #1: So I read Or Else #1 by Kevin Huizenga way back when and it didn't do much for me. I just figured it wasn't my bag. But when Graeme referred to Or Else #2 a few months ago, as one of the best comics he'd ever read in his entire life, I figured I'd give KH another try. (I'm still waiting for us to get copies of #2 and #3 back in the store.) And I was looking forward to reading this book because maybe it would, you know, be good and stuff.

Well, one "holy fucking shit!" later...

Unlike last week's review of Schizo, you'll hear no bitching about size, page count, cost or anything, because this book blew my tiny mind. It kind of reminds me of Scott Pilgrim both in how much it boggled me, and also in how I can see all kinds of things and influences in Huizenga's work that I like generally turned into one irresistable force of awesomeness: if you'd always hoped that Eddie Campbell and Chris Ware would have sex and give birth to Dylan Horrocks, Huizenga's your man! In this book, a series of short, interconnected episodes connect up to deliver a powerful psychological wallop (about, among other things, the power of life, when sliced into short interconnected episodes, to provide exactly such a wallop). And yet it's done so in such a charming, low-key, masterful way, the artist supersedes and transcends every influence I think I can see, and becomes instantly and immediately his own man.

If you're a fan of resonant, sweet and thoughtful comics, you must pick up this book. Admittedly, we've still got ten months left, but I can't see how this won't end up being one of the books of the year. Excellent. Wow.

METAL GEAR SOLID SONS OF LIBERTY #3: I was replaying MGS: Substance this week and finally figured out part of why this title sticks in my craw. Every MGS game comes with an absolutely absurd number of characters (and, also, honestly, a number of absolutely absurd characters) about whom one could cook up all sorts of prequel adventures based on the backstories mentioned in the games--you know, at least as cool back up stories or something. But instead we have a smoothed out retelling of the games one's actually played with Ashley Wood speed-Sienkiewiczing the art. (It's a crime, by the way, that there isn't an Olympic sport called "speed-Sienkiewiczing." It just sounds cool.) I feel like this title could be a lot more than it is. Although apparently licensor and licensee are perfectly happy with it--didya see the MGS digital comics trailer on the Kojima Productions site? I don't know if they're actually converting this series into that kind of crazed format for the PSP or something, but it's kinda amazing. Would that I could feel half as excited about this book without tricked-out multimedia action. Awful.

NEW AVENGERS #15: The idea of Ms. Marvel having a blog was fun (in a dumb kind of way) but really, really flopped big--Bendis knows blog entries are short, but breaking them down to generally one per page made, for example, that fight scene read very oddly. I mean, it's not like she stopped the fight every time she put in an entry, right? To say nothing of the fact that she's going to list her powers in her FAQ (wouldn't you not want your enemies to know exactly what your powers are? Isn't that where you would mention that you have, I dunno, the power to alter time and prevent the births of anyone who fucks with you, or something?) I did love that every entry had 0 comments, though. Probably because she had to delete all the comments from LOVEMUSCLE73 saying "Sh0w us Ur tits LOL."

Yeah. Flopped big. Eh.

NEXT WAVE #1: I remember occasional bits and pieces here and there, but I think this is really the first whole comic Ellis has done that recreates those hilarious, playful BAD SIGNALs he sends off in the dead of night every so often. I had no less than three people come up in the store and declare the Fin Fang Foom! page one of their favorite comic pages of the year and I wholeheartedly agree. By mixing actual Marvel characters like FFF! and Aaron Stack in with characters like The Captain and the Nick Fury analogue (Dirk Anger), Ellis creates a book that's far funnier than if it were just analogues yet doesn't seem mean-spirited--it's just funny and fun. And, of course, that feeling is helped considerably by Stuart Immonen's art (and dave mccaig's colors--lots of oranges and yellows that manage to avoid guadiness). Like a can of soda, it's hard to imagine it'll have the same fizz over time, but Next Wave is a jolt of effervescence I enjoyed quite a bit. Very Good.

PLASTIC MAN #20: With one issue left, Baker really cuts loose, putting things on a much tighter six panel grid to take care of business and yet allow himself the freedom to do some awesome full-page spreads. (When Graeme came in to the store, it was all I could do not to open the book right to that great page of Plas as Kirbyized robot facing off the League of Assassins. Five minutes later, he held it up and showed it to me.) And he got in some good shots at the post-Identity Crisis DCU, as well. I wish the book could have always felt this vital, but I'm glad Baker really took the time and energy to give it a great send-off. Very Good.

SPIDER-MAN BLACK CAT EVIL THAT MEN DO #6: Three issues of web-spinning hijinks and dry-humpery, two and a half issues of weird "Afterschool Special" earnestness about sexual assault, and half an issue of the tragically mismotivated punch-em-up ending in the rebirth of a third-rate also-ran villain. And it only took eighteen months to publish. Yeah, I'd call that a wildly uneven wash-up, wouldn't you? Awful.

TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #36: Oh, I just can't wait to see what Graeme's review is going to be. Can. Not. Wait. (Oh. There it is right underneath this entry. Shit.) Becuase I've been reading this book for a while and even I have no idea what to make of this issue, where Hell is filled with, literally, flaming boobies, and a character manages to deal with her troublesome past by rolling around naked while an sentient fountain squirts on her genitals. It's the superhero stroke book as Outsider Art, and it's getting to be weirder than anything Marston did in Wonder Woman. If this ends up being one of the few comics anyone ends up remembering thirty years from now because some nouveau-dadaist appropriates it for an infamous art show, I'll be disappointed but I probably won't be that surprised. Awful, but wow is it incredibly readably Awful. Woo.

THING #3: Slott's not making with the clever metacommentary here--I think he's just trying to tell a good ol' Marvel comic circa, I dunno, 1978 or so: I mean, he's got the original Nighthawk and The Constrictor here and he takes 'em seriously. I don't know if anyone can really do anything new with The Thing, but it feels like it's been such a long time since anyone's done a comic like this well (I guess Busiek and Perez's run on Avengers comes to mind), I really don't mind either way. A high Good.

WARREN ELLIS BLACK GAS #1: I can't really add anything to this that Jog didn't say first (or better), but I did want to add that Ellis' script for this issue seems particularly strong--the two main characters are reminiscent of standard Ellis types, but they get more speaking time, get to set up all the bits and pieces of their relationship to each other and their surroundings, so one feels more emotionally invested in them and their situation. Hibbs suggested it was a more cinematic approach, and I think that's right. Whatever it is, I'm certainly hooked for next issue. A high Good.

PICK OF THE WEEK: Strong week but not even close--get Ganges.

PICK OF THE WEAK: I'm gonna go with the Ruckatron 3000's books: Adventures of Superman #648 and Wonder Woman #225 (which I didn't bother to review). Because you'd think one of the architects of this whole Infinite crossover jazz could do more than a dispirited phoning-in of hs work, wouldn't you?

TRADE PICK: This is a really tough call because I took home a ton of stuff. The Serenity TPB was a great adaptation of the show but feels like just that--an episode of the show. I'm sure I would have loved it if I'd seen it before the movie Sexy Chix is off to a strong start but I've barely made a dent in it The Comics Journal The Writers Vol. 1 looks lovely, but is very resistant to the "open it up and start reading" approach it would be best suited for (would it have been so hard to put the names of the writer being interviewed somewhere on the page?) So I guess it goes to the lovely Disease of Language, which collects Eddie Campbell's terrific adaptations of Alan Moore's magick shows, and throws in the very long Egomania interview between the two, to boot. If you're burned out on Alan Moore's approach to magic by now, I can't blame you. But this is still some terrific material in a great package.

A week of extremes: Graeme's reviews of 1/25 books.

Oh, Jonathan Kent. If only Clark had listened to the exceptionally unsubtle warning that Terrence Stamp gave him about “Listen, son, if you do this going back in time, nature will just find someone else anyway, and then what’ll you do?” But, no, Clark had to celebrate his 100th episode by turning back time, didn’t he? And look who paid the price: Senator Jonathan Kent. Father of selfish Superboy. On the plus side, somewhere the people who do those Dukes of Hazard reunion TV movies will probably be getting a phone call about more availability for one of their leads, so there is that. Comics, anyone?

GANGES #1: Add my voice to the growing choir about the wonder that is this comic; it really is that good. Not that that’s really a surprise to me, considering that I’ve been into Kevin Huizenga since just before Or Else started over at Drawn and Quarterly after Shawn Hoke slipped me a copy of his Supermonster mini, but still: this book feels like his strongest overall work yet, a focused collection of everything that makes him someone worth reading. There’s more of the “deconstruction of the comics format” that made Or Else #2 so good going on here, particularly in the first story, but it’s done in a less obtrusive way than before, in a more playful manner that doesn’t distract from the rest of the book in the way that OE #2’s middle section did there. There’s much more emphasis on story in this book, and Huizenga’s writing manages to capture the small moments and the big subjects at the same time, leaving enough space and silence for the reader to add their own thoughts so that the book becomes a conversation while still being intensely personal and retaining Huizenga’s voice. The book ends with a story that it feels like only Huizenga could pull off without sounding trite: Main character Glenn Ganges lying awake in bed, thinking about lying awake in bed and listening to his wife sleep. When I explain it like that, it sounds terrible – something at best sappy, at worst pretentious and sappy – but Huizenga manages to make it into something sincere, heartfelt and beautiful. This is very, very Excellent.

And I didn’t even mention that the indica says that it was printed nine months from now.

Dammit.

GODLAND #7: I think that my snarkometer was on too high when I read this. On the one hand, I could recognize that this was intended, on some level, as more than just pastiche of old Marvel Comics, but on the other, it’s a book that’s drawn by a man who looks like he’s aping not Kirby himself, but really early Barry Windsor Smith, when BWS was aping Kirby, and written to follow the early Marvel formula exactly: Hero faces menace, defeats it through improbably-named Deus Ex Machina, and is shunned by the general populace who doesn’t understand what he’s done; meanwhile, villains plot. The dialogue by Joe Casey, a man who walks the line between knowing irony and sincere intentions all the time, slips in some nice touches (For some reason, the bad guy singing “Subterreanean Homesick Blues” made me smile), but I finished the issue with the same feeling that I get from Dan Slott’s Thing series: Yeah, sure, it’s nice and all, but why bother trying to recapture the past with so much effort? Eh, and somewhat surprisingly so as I really love my Kirby normally.

JLA CLASSIFIED #16: Are you ready for the Justice League versus Saddam Hussein?!? Because that’s what Gail Simone gives you here, dear readers. The JLA deposes a Hussein counterpart (“Even forgetting that this palace has solid gold bathroom fixtures, there’s another problem with that story… I found your killing fields.”) and he immediately turns into Doctor Doom, unleashing speeches about keeping the superheroes under control before they depose you, fellow despots, as well as unleashing familiar JLA terrors. It’s not the most original of plots, but there are two things in the execution that stand in its favor: Simone’s dialogue, which hits all the right spots and is reminiscent of Grant Morrison’s JLA run of the ‘90s, and the art by Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez and Klaus Janson, which hits all the dynamic but kind of scratchy points that you’d expect from such a collaboration. Fun and Okay, but I’m hoping that the next issue has more to it.

LOCAL #3: Brian Wood and Ryan Kelly’s short story series continues with a one-shot that also manages to be an anthology of four shorter stories all about what happens afterwards, while Wood also has a character talk about creativity for an issue, giving people like me the opportunity to wonder if he’s really talking about his own creativity with lines like “To be really blunt, we were growing up. That hardcore stuff was just getting old – Or rather, we were just getting too old to be doing it… As artists, as any kind of creative person, you progress. You adapt, your art grows up with you, and to me there’s nothing sadder than musicians who’re still cranking out the same stuff 20 years later.” So, no more Channel Zero any time soon, looks like. Despite that, it all holds together well. Good.

NEXTWAVE #1: Who knew Warren Ellis could just be silly? I mean, I didn’t doubt that he could do mean funny, but this is dumb funny, with more throwaway lines of comedic genius than you’d expect (My favorites are either the page long introduction of Fin Fang Foom, or what happened to Monica’s mother, and why). Stuart Immonen’s art is chunky and pretty and the right mix of cartoony and dramatic for a story about characters that someone used to take seriously who now fight giant monsters in underwear. I was kind of looking forward to this, but it’s Very Good and more than I expected.

PLASTIC MAN #20: This is obviously the week for well done superhero comedy. Kyle Baker wraps up the book by continuing the upswing of the last few issues and mercilessly taking the piss out of DC’s current superhero line. While the main plot wraps up in the background, Superman confronts Wonder Woman about her killing ways (“By the moons of Krypton! You and Bruce never validate my feelings! And that hurts me!”), Batman fights Superman (“Clark. Here we go again. I’ll slap you so hard your grandchildren will look like me.”), the new new Spectre gets revealed, and Baker gets a fine dig in about where DC has gone wrong in the form of Mary Marvel’s speech. Jeff has a theory that Baker just had too much material to fit into one issue, but shoved it all in anyway, but I think he just went for broke knowing that the book was ending anyway. The series had never really found its level, going all over the place in terms of quality and target audience throughout the run, but the last three issues have been Very Good. I’m not sure I’ll really miss the book – Baker can do better than this, and does, in his self-published books – but it was fun to have while it lasted.

TAROT, WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #36: Surprisingly, not just the Porn Promethea it looked like when I was first handed it and told that I had to review it. Instead, it’s like the Mirror Universe Promethea, what happens when someone who’s into magic but has no real talent for writing or art whatsoever decides to do a book all about magic. Ignoring the art for a second, because it can be summed up with “Jim Balent really likes those breasts, doesn’t he?”, “Why does no-one have any pubic hair? For all the nudity we see in the book, there is no pubic hair anywhere. What does this say about Jim Balent?” and “Oh God oh God make it stop please,” the real horror of the book is in the message behind the writing. Take this issue, which theoretically has two plots:

1. Some half-skeleton dude who doesn’t get named goes to Hell to rescue his ex-girlfriend, Crypt Chick. Hell is, of course, filled with lots of naked women, and there’s something called the Great Adversary, which is a giant naked woman, who eats smaller naked women, which you all probably expected. But you probably didn’t expect that we discover that Hell is just a stop on the way to Self-Help Heaven. Crypt Chick, if you could illustrate: “All the moping in the world isn’t going to bring you happiness so get over whatever is keeping you down. Find what makes you happy and pursue it.”

2. Another unnamed character who may be Tarot herself, is soul-searching after killing someone. Luckily, her soul searching involves going to see a giant talking fountain, remembering being naked, and then getting naked again (while the narration gives us such lines as “As he spoke I felt a weight lighten and slip off my shoulders.” No, that’s not a weight, it’s your clothes), all while giving another lesson in self-help: “I love myself for who I am and what I am. I like being me.”

Yes, the entire book is just Dr. Phil for people who are too scared to buy real porn. Luckily for those people, they can get affirmation that they should be loved for who they are, and if that doesn’t work, they should just buy any and all of the merchandise related to the book that gets advertised on five pages at the back of the book, or else pleasure themselves to the pictures of “The 7 Broadsword Girls” who are, indeed, women posing in cloaks and holding broadswords.

Words fail me about this book. All words, that is, except for Ass.

TEEN TITANS GO! #27: So it turns out that the entire reason I like the Teen Titans cartoon may be the theme song. The script here reads like a script for the TV show, but without the frenetic pace of the animation and, of course, the theme song – written by San Francisco’s own Andy Sturmer, fact fans – it all feels rather slight. Eh.

WARREN ELLIS BLACKGAS #1: In contrast to his Nextwave this week, this is Ellis on autopilot and then some. Imagine the start of any generic horror film made in the last fifteen or so years, and then you’ve got a pretty good idea of what this book is like. Depending on whether you have a burning desire to read “28 Days Later After Friday The 13th,” this may or may not be the kind of thing you want to be spending your money on. For me, it’s just Eh.

WONDER WOMAN #225: Sudden Self-Awareness Alert, as Greg Rucka titles this latest issue “Nothing Finished, Only Abandoned”. If nothing else, it lives up to the title, as everything that Greg’s built up for the last near-three years gets abandoned so that Infinite Crisis can continue its merry carnage. Awful, sadly.

It should surprise no-one that Ganges and Tarot are PICK OF THE WEEK and PICK OF THE WEAK, respectively, and just putting both of those books in the same sentence makes me feel as if Kevin Huizenga’s stomach may hurt by some strange magic power of shit. TRADE OF THE WEEK is Dark Horse’s Serenity trade, purely because I’m on a Whedon kick right now. Even though Veronica Mars is currently on in the background, but that’s practically Whedonesque, isn’t it?

I am Jeff Lester's Bitch: Graeme's reviews of 1/18 books

Ah, that’s more like it. This week was full of comicky goodness and hissy fits (the latter courtesy of The Comics Journal, where Michael Dean’s “Why Can’t Comics Websites Be What I Want Them To Be?” series has ruffled some feathers, to say the least). It’s also, if you’re anywhere near Comix Experience the store rather than Comix Experience the website, the week when the new Onomatopoeia came out with Jeff Lester making me sound much more interesting and mysterious than I actually am. But that’s enough about me! To paraphrase the scary woman out’ve the Overstock.com adverts, sometimes, it’s all about… the comics. ALL STAR SUPERMAN #2: Maybe what the All-Star line is all about is being some kind of rorschach test of the creators involved. All Star Batman shows Frank Miller having fun at the expense of the fans, by being “shameless” and giving them his idea of what they want. All Star Superman, meanwhile, seems to be all about Grant Morrison giving the fans the Superman that he wants – A character that’s full of love and calm in stories that avoid the traditional fight scenes for soap operatics augmented by science fiction ideas. It feels like nothing as much as the Silver Age Superman stories recently reprinted in the Showcase collection, right down to Superman’s soliloquy about his upcoming death (“How can I spoil her birthday with the news that I’m dying?”), but it’s more than just a retread. Obviously, Frank Quitely’s art helps there – his sense of space is second to none in comics, and his attention to detail makes everything feel more real – but Morrison’s at his playful best here, explaining the stories in coded form as he goes along in such a way that only a second read reveals. I worry that there isn’t really an audience for this book, beyond Morrison fans, but I hope that that’s me underestimating the world and that this ends up being so successful that Morrison and Quitely can continue past the initial twelve issues for however long that they wish… Excellent.

BIRDS OF PREY #90: First of two DC Universe books that reach their pre-One Year Later conclusions this week. This isn’t BOP’s official conclusion, mind you: There’s an issue next month, but it’s a fill-in by none of the usual creative team and so doesn’t really count. Gail Simone ties up all her loose ends in a surprisingly upbeat manner, happily, including Batman getting what Mick Jagger would call some girly action from one of the eponymous Birds. I’m astonished that there isn’t more an Infinite Crisis tie-in somewhere, but that isn’t a bad thing... (Aside to Elayne: The apparently-permanent new art team of Paulo Siqueira and Robin Riggs is easily the best this book has seen on Gail’s run, if not many years before that, as well.) Good, and here’s hoping that more DC books follow this lead…

EX MACHINA #17: Brian K. Vaughan and Tony Harris’s “He’s a superhero! He’s a political figure!” story reaches 2003, and America goes to war with Iraq, which proves to be somewhat unpopular in New York. Who knew? It’s a frustrating first part of the story, with Vaughan setting things up without remembering to add much of a plot. None of the scenes really add up, and as a result, everything feels more like a series of talking points set to pretty art (and Harris and inker Tom Feister’s art really looks good here, although the see-through top that Journal wears in one scene feels kind of gratuitious). It’s an OK opener, but it’d be nice to think that there’s going to be some forward motion in the book soon (Hmm. Both this and Vaughan’s Y The Last Man seem to have stalled recently. Maybe he’s become distracted by other work?). For those of you who really, really like JLA analogs, there’s also a preview of the upcoming Wildstorm series The American Way in the back of the book, which is fairly dull.

THE FLASH #230: ...And the second DCU book to meet its pre-OYL end. As had been fairly obvious for the last few issues, this final story was entirely filler material to keep the book alive until the character entered Infinite Crisis, and this last issue does nothing to change anyone’s mind, ending with such heavy-handed narration as to almost kill the reader (“My name is Wally West. I’m the fastest man alive… for now. If you stop and think about it, we all live in an inifinite universe, where anything can happen...”). The most interesting thing this Awful book has going for it is confirmation that there is indeed going to be a new Flash #1 in a few months. Just as I’m wondering whatever happened to the announced Darwyn Cooke-written Flash run a few months back, maybe I’ve found the answer…

HELLBLAZER #216: Ahhhh, Scottish writers, how I love thee. Denise Mina’s first issue of the long, long-running horror title starts things off with a short story about a man who gets himself in over his head with magic, which is fairly traditional around these here parts. It’s done well, though, and starts off a longer storyline which seems to be about some Scottish version of Constantine being a bastard to the Sting who manages the tantric without the sex. Leonardo Manco’s art is nice but unclear, and the whole thing feels like a Good but unspectacular start to something that has the potential to be much better. That said, what the hell is going on with Greg Lauren’s cover, with the leggy brunette in the background who seems to have no connection to the story whatsoever?

INFINITE CRISIS #4: A crisis so infinite that the creative team grows issue by issue. By this fourth issue, we’re up to three pencillers (Ivan Reis joining Phil Jiminez and George Perez) and seven inkers. Say what you like about the quality of the comic, that’s some infinite art team right there. The action’s picking up as well, as we find out who’s behind all of the Countdown mini-series, the Spectre plot (and related Gotham Central plot – Everyone who thought that it was going to be Crispus, give yourself a pat on the back) gets resolved, Batman tries to make some friends and influence people, a couple of heroes kind of die, Superboy goes apeshit, some more heroes definitely die, and, oh yeah, Crisis on Infinite Earths gets undone. All of that in 30-odd pages, proving that Geoff Johns doesn’t dig that decompression jazz. It’s been a slow burn getting to this point, but now that we’re halfway through the series, everything (kind of) makes sense and is primed for whatever big finale lies in wait, and the wait is almost justified by the entire issue of action this is. It’s probably in DC’s favor that I’m still unsure about what the outcome of this series is really going to be – From the April solicits, we know that there’s not going to be a big retcon button hit to undo the major damage that opens this issue, which is kind of surprising, but at the same time, I doubt that the status quo that occurs at the end of the issue is going to be around by the end of the series, either. As I’ve said before, this is a series only being done for those who are already DC fanboys, but it’s more proof than Geoff Johns is a writer who knows how to milk those fanboy-anticipated moments for more drama and excitement than you’d have thought they could provide, while also occasionally throwing in some things that make you go “Huh?” For those who know what Space Sector 2814 means, Excellent, but I still have no idea what a casual reader makes of all of this.

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #13: Finally, we reach the conclusion of the storyline that the book’s been following since it started, and… well, it’s kind of anti-climactic. There are some nice ideas in here, but the execution seems off (As it has done for the last three or four issues, after a near-faultless opening run). Despite some great scenes showing off the various characters in action and tying up plot threads that’ve been around since before the series debuted, it feels as if we’re cheated of what should be the emotional pay-off to what’s happened so far because the pacing is off, and some decisions seem to come out of nowhere and don’t get explained enough (Namely, what happens with Terror Firma, the anti-Legion of the series, which comes entirely out of nowhere despite being central to how the story resolves itself). As with the last few issues, there’s another pointless back-up story that doesn’t really add anything to the series, as well as another tongue-in-cheek letter column strip, which exhorts readers to read Infinite Crisis and the Day of Vengence trade paperback to find out if the Legion will take part in Infinite Crisis, before going on to also suggest “To Kill A Mockingbird” and “Pride and Prejudice” as other things that readers should check out. It’s moments like that, an openess to parody fanboyishness in a series that’s based on the same tendencies, that made the initial issues of this book so fun, and it’s something that I’d like to see the book return to now that the first main storyarc has been finalized. This issue was OK, but the series has been so much better up until now.

SEVEN SOLDIERS: MISTER MIRACLE #3: This book may be the un-Star Trek of Seven Soldiers, in that the odd-numbered issues are great, and the even-numbers are… less so. After a patchy-at-best second issue, Grant Morrison gets a new artist to complete his mini-revamp of Jack Kirby’s New Gods, Freddie E. Williams II (who actually helped finish out the previous issue), and suddenly the book is enjoyably off-kilter again. It helps that this issue is more coherent, storywise, than the last, as well. Kirby Koncepts like Anti-Life and Baron Bedlam get a makeover, and poor Shilo gets more than slightly tortured both emotionally and physically, as Morrison brings this book closer to the theme that connects all of the other Seven Soldiers series (What makes a hero?) if not the plot. Williams’ art is very cartoony, but fits the tone of the book arguably more than either of the book’s previous art teams, especially in his portrayal of the plastic people that buy into Dark Side’s worldview... It’s still the weakest of all of the Seven Soldiers books, but much better than the series had been up until this point. Good.

SGT. ROCK: THE PROPHECY #1: I’m not a fan of war comics in general (Although Showcase Haunted Tank in April? The goofiness of the idea makes me want that one) but, hey. It’s Joe Kubert. Ignoring the fact that the man can draw like none other – his art in here is still a million times better than almost everything else that will come out this month, despite his advanced years – he can also write a mean story, too. There’s something about the situation he puts Easy Company in, in this debut issue, that feels more authentic than something like Marvel’s Combat Zone book from last year; a lack of patriotism, and of good guys and bad guys or moral absolutes. There’s something chaotic about the writing here, in a good way: Exposition gets interrupted by explosions from an unknown source, new characters appear without explanation or revealing motives, and the only constant is Easy Company themselves. It’s a weird book, feeling both old-fashioned and contemporary, telling the story in a solid and non-flashy manner but with everything having an honesty and intensity that make you want to read further. In other words, Kubert is still pretty fucking good at what he does. Very Good.

X-STATIX PRESENTS: DEAD GIRL #1: Or, as it really should be called, Peter Milligan does a weird riff on Doctor Strange. It was, I think, Paul O’Brien who made the point that Milligan can write up a storm, but his takes on pre-existing characters generally seem to be somewhere out of character with the way they’ve previously been written. His take on Doctor Strange here is a case in point. By the time Strange says, “Since when have I started using words like ‘suffice,’ Wong? Who the heck says ‘suffice’ nowadays?”, you kind of know that this isn’t the normal Dr. Strange, who’s more likely to say “suffice” than he is “who the heck”, and wouldn’t discuss his hemorrhoids with anyone. That aside, this is a fun enough book as a depressed Strange has to deal with various dead Marvel characters returned to half-life who want to be resurrected just like Colossus, Elektra and Psylocke, even though he himself isn’t incredibly enamored with that whole “being alive” deal himself. Despite getting her name in the title, Dead Girl only gets one panel at the end of the book, alongside some other dead girls you might recognize. If I was being snarky, I’d suggest that this kind of book is aimed at the kind of self-loathing fanboys that Joe Quesada used to vocally complain about; they’re the only ones likely enough to both understand the injokes Milligan’s writing here and also find them funny. But as that describes me pretty accurately, I’ll shut up and say that this is pretty Good, but probably not something that can carry another four issues, as this series has to.

PICK OF THE WEEK is All Star Superman, because I am a Morrison groupie. PICK OF THE WEAK is the Flash, who deserved much, much better even for a pretend end of a book that announces its own return on the last page. For TRADE OF THE WEEK, I’m cheating entirely, because I think you should spend your money on the latest issue of The Comics Journal to read all the Eddie Campbell wonderfulness contained therein. It’ll make you look forward to his new book, The Fate of The Artist, whether you like it or not.

(And just when I go to post this, I see that Jeff's posted his reviews, and he picks exactly the same Pick of the Week, Weak and Trade that I did. Good Lord, man, do we share a brain or something? And apropos of your reviews: I think that the mystery room in ASS is done well, for my part; I'll explain more when I see you next, because to do so here would spoil the story for everyone who hasn't read it...)

Tagged Back In: Jeff's Reviews of 01/18 Comix...

It's kinda great being able to take a few weeks off without the site lying fallow. I'd like to say I did something meaningful with that time away, but me and the missus took in a couple of movies, I made my way through some of the sale books I picked up, and I followed just about every slothful urge as it occurred to me. T'was nice. Anyway, back to inflicting my opinions on everyone. But, first, if you haven't read Bri's latest Tilting at Windmills, you should check it out because it's an amazingly concise discussion of what the immediate challenges are for the direct market and an impressively open-minded explanation of how things got the way they are. Great stuff.

And but so:

ACTION COMICS #835: Some annoyingly cheap plot twists (the chick struck by lightning is the sibling of the psycho holding Lois hostage? And knows what he's up to? That's mighty goddam convenient, isn't it?) and art by Byrne that's dashed off makes me wonder if this was a hasty rewrite or done around the time G.S. & J.B. found out they'd gotten axed. I also presume I'm not the only one who can't tell if this was Livewire's first appearance outside of the Superman: The Animated Series context or not. Sub-Eh, although not Awful as much as a letdown.

ALL STAR SUPERMAN #2: I was pretty meh about the first issue but this was almost absurdly great, despite a glitch or two in the storytelling. (The mysterious room Lois sees has almost no drama or menace in its intial presentation, for example.) I still think, like the first issue, Morrison derives some drama from playing with long-term reader's expectations of what various relationships would be but this time, Thank God, that's not where all the drama--or the delight--comes from. The only other thing I'd want from the rest of this run would be answers to some of Lois's questions about Superman's dual identity--paranoid or not, they were pretty decent ones, I thought. This is right at the top of the Very Good rating--go get it, if you haven't already.

BIRDS OF PREY #90: I'm not sure if I followed the story as closely as I should, but I was so happy to get a genuine upbeat ending, I didn't mind. And if it also manages to be the last time we see Batman in the title, all the better. A high Good.

EX MACHINA #17: Oy, this book. "The morning after" scene was too coy, and then we get a see-through nightie scene eight pages later that seemed kinda anachronistic and unnecessary--as with other issues, the tone just seems all over the map. But the dramatic hook of a mayor trying to enforce a stance of impartiality in which he doesn't really believe is very sound stuff, one more likely to bring me back next issue than the actual cliffhanger. OK.

FLASH #230: Wow, that just sucked in a mighty big way. It sucked so much that not only will I look on another Joey Cavaleri-written book with suspicion, I'll probably feel the same way about a book edited by Cavaleri. Maybe he actually knows how to tell a story, but he didn't bother to try even a little. What a way to end a book. Crap.

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #4: I quite like the team of David and Weiringo and couldn't care less about the crossover they're participating in. (When did Spider-Man become so god-damn, I dunno, solipsistic? It's bad enough that one of his archenemies is a former set of laundry, but now we have to deal with a bunch of the spiders/man, as well? I mean, sure, The Vulture sucks, but jeeezis....) So this issue is pretty much a wash. A very well-done wash, but an eh-worthy wash, nonetheless.

GREEN LANTERN #7: I can't really hate on a story that brings back those awesome flowers from Alan Moore's Superman Annual, but once they turned up in the story, you knew was only a matter of time before they ended up on our heroes' chests. An OK issue, but like of a lot of Johns' recent work, seems a bit too rushed to really live up to its potential. We'll see where it goes next issue.

HELLBLAZER #216: Fuck, I really wanted to read this, and forgot to pick it up. Here's hoping Graeme McHarshypants does reviews this week...

INCREDIBLE HULK #91: The only unpredictable element of this story was it being even more dull than I thought it would. And I would've been much, much happier if the supership had blindly 'ported to another galaxy to escape being destroyed and taken Hulk with him. It would've been hackneyed but not nearly as dumb as Fury's "I'm such a bad ass I'll destroy someone who's finally become a potential ally" maneuver. Awful.

INFINITE CRISIS #4: A lot of big events happen (maybe too many, in fact) resulting in a very enjoyable pageturner that works great if you don't think about any of it too hard. I especially liked Superboy of Earth-Prime going all Kid Miracleman on everyone's ass (never trust anyone from Earth-Prime, that's my motto!) even if nobody bit it but Teen Titans from Dan Jurgen's run (I think maybe even Dan Jurgens himself gets ripped in half, I don't quite remember). And I admire the moxie in proferring the Psycho-Pirate as a possible out for all of the The Big Three's out-of-character behavior, and then not taking it. About as newbie friendly as a Black Mass, but Very Good stuff.

LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #13: Weirdly, I like the little stuff in this title so much more than the big uber-epic stuff. That illustrated letter page, for example? Pure gold. Good.

LITTLE STAR #6: I'll be really interested to see how the trade of this holds up--each individual issue was stellar (not a bad unintentional pun, if I do say so myself) but I don't know if the entire story might feel a bit too slight. I'll have to wait to see (because I'm too lazy to dig up all the individual issues now) but this is certainly a lovely and minimalistic work taken on its own. Very Good.

PLANETARY #24: This may well be one of those books well-served by long publishing delays. Because of them, I tend to take every thing the writer tells as something that's already been shown and since forgotten by me. The scene of Snow telling Jakita why she isn't his daughter felt very poignant, but maybe that's because I don't really remember the whole thing with Snow and Jakita's mother? Maybe there's some sort of extra suspension of disbelief storytellers get from readers when readers admit they're unwilling to dig through four longboxes to find the last nine or ten issues and will just take the storyteller's word on everything? Or maybe this is Very Good? Probably a little bit of both, I think.

SCHIZO #4: This could have been a fucking amazing comic and I'm really bummed that it wasn't. I could overlook (a) the high price; (b) the awkward format; and (c) the high ratio of strips-I'd-already-seen to strips-I-hadn't if Brunetti hadn't been so coy with the underlying theme; that of a miserable person obsessed with comics, women, misery and art who is somehow able to find the possibility of transcendence. (I keep thinking that one deconstructed comic strip is a brilliant formalist meditation on how a depressed person fixates on a singular event to deepen the depression, and the construction of the strip is an conscious acknowledgmeent of that fixation and so constitutes the beginning of constructing a new undepressed persona (and/or comic strip) but I think that's only just because I really want it to be so.)

Okay, so maybe Brunetti himself doesn't know if it was the paxil, or the meditation, or a new love that gave him a new lease on life--fair enough. But what's particularly frustrating is that Ivan Brunetti, a man not previously known for anything remotely like discretion--whose very brilliance previously resided in his absolute ability to explore misery far beyond where most would turn away and detail his discoveries with that hilarious lack of discretion--decides to exercise tasteful restraint (on behalf of his new wife, his job, his beautiful ex-girlfriend) precisely where we need it the least. The previous Schizos were ultra-dense affairs that explained quite precisely how the rest of the world was, at the very least, an equal co-conspirator in creating and maintaining Brunetti's unending misery. This issue of Schizo is a lovely and vacant affair that doesn't explain why or when the artist decided to let the rest of the world off the hook, and that leads me to suspect Brunetti hasn't let the rest of the world off--he's just realized he's got a better chance of being happy if he shuts up about it. And again, fair enough. But in that case, the book is too big, too expensive, has too many reprints, and I'm kinda pissed. Eh.

SEVEN SOLDIERS MISTER MIRACLE #3: I really wanted to follow up on that frustratingly one-sided review where Hibbs made it sound like I thought West Side Story was brilliant because of the New York gangs mileu and not the music. (And maybe also explain where most people writing Mr. Miracle go wrong with the character.) But this issue overshadowed all of that old stuff. Mister Miracle probably end up being the least liked of all the miniseries by everyone but me, and I'm okay with that. But I was skeeved out by this in a very good way and I'll be curious if the last issue is able to present the updated light side of Kirby's Fourth World saga as convincingly as they nailed the dark side. Man, I really, really hope so because this was as depressing as fuck. Up in the Good range.

SGT ROCK THE PROPHECY #1: Kubert can still draw an arresting image (his style was so pared down, it's much more impervious to age than that of his contemporaries) but the Kanigher era cornballery (when I saw the puppy on page one, I groaned aloud) is really, really far from our era's current post-Private Ryan take on WWII. Didn't work for me, unfortunately, but I liked looking at it. Eh.

SIMPSONS COMICS #114: Clever but not nearly close to the Boothby watermark. Really tried, though, and with a stronger ending to the main story might have really wowed me. OK.

TESTAMENT #2: A letdown after a surprisingly interesting first issue in that the Biblical parallels are a lot more forced and the current day situation gets a lot more fuzzy--what was happening to the kids at the end there? And there's a pretty big difference between Lot saving an angel sent to him by God and some kids saving a bum they see manhandled out their window even though it seems superficially similar. For example, superficially, this almost reads like a Jack Chick comic, except Jack Chick comics aren't boring and so they're really not the same at all, you see? Eh.

TRANSFORMERS INFILTRATION #1: Infiltrate what, a car show? I didn't read it to find out, unfortunately.

WALKING DEAD #25: Again with the lousy cliffhanger, but at least the rest of it seems back on track and highly readable. Good.

X-STATIX PRESENTS DEAD GIRL #1: I don't know if it's true or not, but it always seemed with Milligan and Allred's X-Force that Allred's genuine affection for the characters kept Milligan's genuine irreverance for the characters at bay. And maybe that'll be true in future issues, but for the most part, I read this going, "Yeah, yeah, Dr. Strange, you think he's sily. Got it." It was pretty great seeing Tyke again, though: bitching in death just as much as he ever did in life. Despite my crankiness, I'll call it OK.

PICK OF THE WEEK: All-Star Superman #2, no question. But there's plenty of good stuff out there this week.

 

 

 

 

 

PICK OF THE WEAK: Also, no question: Flash #230. Horribly lazy check-cashing on everyone's part.

TRADE PICK: Not really a trade but ends up listed there: The Comics Journal #273. Interviews with Eddie Campbell and Junko Mizuno? Fuck, yes! Also, I have to admit, Heidi's review of Dragon Head (and maybe also a positive word earlier from Bryan Lee O'Malley somewhere on the Web?) got me so amped up, I went out at lunch to bookstore and bought the puppy rather than waiting for Hibbs to order it. (Sorry, Bri.) It's a creepy and intense pageturner and I'm digging it.

Hibbs reviews some 1/11/06 stuff

No, see, I DO do reviews, sometimes. Course, I had to pick the worst week for comics out of the last 52, right?

ELFQUEST THE DISCOVERY #1: How long has it been since a new Elfquest story saw print? And how long since it was actually WaRP doing it? Probably too long because I really couldn’t follow this very well – it was like halfway through the issue before I saw a character I remembered/recognized. The Discovery, for me, is that, huh, I don’t care any longer about this world and these characters, once oh so beloved. I’m probably being harsher than I should be, but, ugh, AWFUL

ED THE HAPPY CLOWN #4: Last one I “reviewed” was issue #1 which really bothered me for being way over-priced on toilet paper. Checking back in here, yup they fixed that problem, and I remembered how fond I am of this absurdist story of dead vampire girls and Presidential penises. We’ll probably all be happier when this is available in book format again, but this really is wonderful, VERY GOOD, stuff.

BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #199: Nice end to a nice little story. Won’t win any awards or anything, but it felt a lot more like Batman than anything else I’ve read lately. GOOD.

GREEN ARROW #58: Here’s the thing, I don’t really care how often you say he’s a bad-ass, Dr. Light just isn’t a fearsome baddie. And this way-too-dragging story (What? It STILL isn’t over?!?) isn’t doing shit to change that impression. Hint #2: Meryln isn’t scary, either. A big, yawny EH.

HAWKMAN #48: or, as Graeme put it “The Rann/Thanagar war is over so the Hawks fuck!” Yup, that’s pretty much it. I pretty strongly don’t care about that either. AWFUL.

JLA #124: And on and on it drags, with everyone insisting there isn’t a JLA, but they’re all working more-or-less together. Feh and more feh. The Grant Morrison version of The Key was only interesting when written by a head, and even then, not really. The end of the story is all sidetracked by the out of left field appearance of a 7 Deadly Sin (Despite them all being recaptured last week), and the whole thing feels like it was plotted by pulling scraps of paper out of a hat. CRAP, al a mode.

VERONICA #167: I want to echo Graeme a bit here – the last time I read an Archie comic was at least a decade back, and I sure remember them having more plot and characterization than this. Perhaps only notable for the appearance of the band “The Veronicas” who Archie Publications just finished suing. Talk about rubbing salt in the wounds! Anyway, I don’t really expect much from an Archie comic, but I gotta tell you, based on this sample, I think it will be another decade before I try again. Totally AWFUL.

BOOK OF LOST SOULS #4: I find myself oddly bored by this – maybe it is the feels-too-much-like-better-Vertigo-comics presentation, I don’t know, but I still don’t have any real sense of the protagonists or their motivation or why I should care, really. My customers seem to be at the same conclusion, as we’re only selling about 4 copies an issue at this point (down from 20 of #1). I guess I think there’s a real passivity to the set-up and characters, and what this needs is a more dramatic forward-momentum through line of plot like MIDNIGHT NATION had. Very very EH.

DAUGHTERS OF THE DRAGON #1: Surprisingly entertaining for me – unlike Lester and McMillan I never really carried for Power Man and Iron Fist and their supporting casts. It ain’t Shakespeare, but it was definitely OK

GHOST RIDER #5: Pretty padded, but pretty nonetheless. OK

MARVEL MILESTONES BLOODSTONE X-51 and CAPTAIN MARVEL II: Wait, why did I order this again? Was this a joke? Joke’s on me!

SHE-HULK #4: Actually, I sorta wished they switched the numbering over to #101 with this one – that would have been funny. A profoundly unfunny issue of the funny super-hero book, but as a continuity implant it worked fine. OK, though on the lower side.

ULTIMATE EXTINCTION #1: I was with this until the long-ass sequence with Ultimate Misty Knight. Too long! Enjoying the ride, otherwise. OK

DESOLATION JONES #5: Too much info-dumping, but I at least enjoyed the flashback portion of the info-dump. God damn gorgeous art, however, makes this at least a GOOD.

DMZ #3: Reads like a final issue, actually. Not really sure how/if this should continue, but this was basically OK.

FABLES #45: anti-climactic, if you ask me, but done with skill. OK

CAPTAIN ATOM ARMAGEDDON #4: Meet someone, fight, meet someone, fight. Lather, rinse, repeat. I was wondering why this was 9 issues, and not say 4, like the plot seemed it demanded. And the reason why is puh-puh-puh-padding! Not badly done, but still pretty dull, EH.

X-MEN THE 198 #1: “Mister M” is, actually, not a very interesting character. No, really. EH.

PICK OF THE WEEK: Hm, let’s go with ED THE HAPPY CLOWN #4, that shows what kind of a week this was… a decade+ old comic wins "Best of 1/11/2006"!

PICK OF THE WEAK: So many choices…. But, nah, going with JLA #124.

BOOK/TP OF THE WEEK: a big part of me wants to say KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE BUNDLE OF TROUBLE VOL 14, but I know it is a specialized taste, so I’ll be more crowd friendly and go with DC UNIVERSE THE STORIES OF ALAN MOORE, despite it missing the “This is an imaginary story” caption in “Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?” story, AND despite it closing with “The Killing Joke” (WHttMoT would have made a MUCH more satisfying close) – on the plus side it is on MUCH better paper than its previous no-WHttMoT&TKJ version, plus that cover makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

What did you think?

-B

Seven Days of Dull: Graeme's reviews of 1/11 books.

Well, that may have been one of the more underwhelming weeks in recent memory when it comes to what shipped in the world of comic bookery (Unless you’re a 2000AD fan – in which case you’d be in Thrill Power heaven, what with Prog 2006, the new Dredd collection... Borag Thungg, Earthlet Cash), especially with the non-appearance of Hellblazer despite what DC’s website claimed. As a result, Lester and Hibbs decided that it was time to give me a random selection of things to read that normally I’d ignore on my way to the Grant Morrison Worship Aisle. So blame them for the selection of this week’s review subjects. ARES #1: It’s all very competently done, and the art is nice and all, but still. There’s something that makes the whole thing a rather Crap affair, and that’s probably down to the dull generic quality of the plot. How many times has this “dangerous soldier has settled down only to be brought back into action when his child is kidnapped” plot been done? Mike Oeming, Marvel’s current go-to guy when it comes to God tales, sticks to what’s expected without invention or humor here (Intentional humor, at least; I was amused at the “I had sworn off being the god of war, which is why I kept this fully-stocked armory hidden in my house” scene). Certain parts of the story don’t seem fully thought out - If neither Ares nor his son’s social security numbers are real, shouldn’t someone have noticed by this point? His son’s school, maybe? - nor subtle (The numerous scenes of warfare on TVs and elsewhere), and the dialogue is to the point and unmemorable. Ares is apparently going to be the next big player in the Marvel Universe, so this mini-series isn’t really about the story as much as it is reintroducing the character to the audience before sticking him in New Avengers or whatever, and in that case, it does its job. It’s just that it doesn’t seem to want to do anything else.

CABLE AND DEADPOOL #24: Jeff Lester’s guilty pleasure, apparently, and part of me can see why. I’ve never even been vaguely tempted to pick up this book before, mostly because Cable as a character makes me have terrible flashbacks to when I was buying Peter David’s X-Factor and it had that X-Cutioner’s Song crossover. Oh, the pain. Especially when it comes to remembering those X-Force issues. That said, I’ve always had a sneaking liking for Fabian Niceza for some reason, and there’re some lines in here that back that up, mostly coming from Deadpool (although Nick Fury appears at the end with the line “I want talk, I’ll call Oprah. I want some @ss kicked, I call… Captain America!” Old school superspies should talk like that all the time). Plotwise and artwise, the book feels like nothing as much as the kind of mid-90s Marvel book that spawned both title characters: The plot seems to revolve around mysteriously named organizations and artifacts that don’t get explained, and Patrick Zircher draws a Spider-Man that not only does whatever a spider can but also can dislocate his legs to get a dramatic pose. But that’s probably just down to knowing what the audience wants, and there’s a tongue-in-cheek quality to everything that makes it easier to swallow, and forget afterwards. It’s not going to change the world, but it’s Okay at what it does.

EXILES #75: Remember when 75th issues were big deals? They’d be double-sized or something, and it’d be the end of some long-running storyline that provided some level of dramatic payoff to the long-term fanbase while also giving new readers some bang for their buck and fooling them into thinking that it’d be worth picking up the next issue as well. Sadly, Exiles doesn’t seem to remember that at all, as their 75th issue just seems to be the latest episode in a long-running storyline that’s aimed entirely at longtime fans of defunct imprints from ten years ago. Fresh from their visit to the New Universe – which I was very tempted to try, purely because I have fond memories of the carcrash of Green Lantern and Jim Shooter’s midlife crisis that was Star Brand – the Exiles end up in Marvel’s 2099 universe, where they’re apparently chasing an X-Men villain who died 20 years ago, and it’s about as good or bad as it sounds, depending on your level of investment in these characters. If ever there was a comic that was aimed entirely at the core fanboy audience, it was this one, right down to the Chris Claremont-esque dialogue (“How can you remember what love feels like… and still be such a monster?!”). If this were a DC book, I’d probably be all over it, but I’ve never really been a Marvel geek, so it’s just Eh to me.

SON OF M #2: I admit it, I missed Son of M #1, if “missed” happens to have a new definition along the lines of “saw it in the store and decided that I didn’t really need to read the adventures of Quicksilver being depressed because he doesn’t have any powers anymore.” Luckily for me, I managed to get #2 and have all my preconceptions blown away and replaced by the concrete knowledge that I had been entirely right the first time, after all. In either an ironic twist or clever metatextual conceit, the story is slow as hell, and the art an awkward but not entirely unattractive Arthur Ranson-esque European thing… I’m not sure if this is the kind of thing that the House of M fans would really want from their spin-offs, but perhaps I’m underestimating them. Crap, anyway. When the most interesting thing in the book is Tom Brevoort’s own personal revamp of Bullpen Bulletins – “[W]e in the Brevoort editorial office want to make it your one-stop location for information and insight into what’s coming up in our little line of books,” Brevoort explains, adding in the next line, “The rest of the Marvel editors? Fuck them! This is all about my books.”* – with a Who’s Who of Marvel at the bottom of the page that includes Mark Gruenwald as “Patron Saint of Marveldom,” which manages to be both touching and grave-robbing at the same time, then you know you’re in trouble.

(* - Okay, he doesn’t come out and say those exact words, but still.)

ULTIMATE EXTINCTION #1: Yet another continuing storyline that I haven’t been following. But here’s the shock: It didn’t matter. By halfway through the first issue, I felt like I’d caught up on everything I needed to know, and wanted to know what happens next. Yes, Warren Ellis is on autopilot a bit here, but just like Jarvis Cocker, he’s a professional, bringing in Ultimate versions of unexpected characters – Misty Knight, and is that bald woman Moondragon? – and giving the whole thing an underplayed foreboding atmosphere miles away from things like House of M or Infinite Crisis. Brandon Peterson’s art is a glorious thing, too, offering up a realism that’s not entirely hooked on photo-reference like other Ultimate artists called Greg Land. Here was me thinking that I didn’t dig those Ultimate books so much, but now I’m wondering whether the other trades in this series would be worth looking out for… A surprise Very Good.

VERONICA #167: Guest-starring “the Singing Sensations from Down Under,” the Veronicas, and with a “new single free inside,” according to the cover. This copy, sadly, didn’t have any kind of single anywhere to be found. I suspect that Brian Hibbs is keeping them all for himself. The cover for this comic in general kind of freaks me out: It’s got Veronica – the cartoon one – and the Veronicas, the band, and behind them, Archie grinning like a creep, “Wow! Three Veronicas? It must be my birthday!” Oh, Archie. I didn’t need to hear that. For those who don’t pay attention to news about Archie comics or Singing Sensations from Down Under, the Veronicas, who are a real life band named after the title character of this comic, were sued at some point by Archie Comics for infringing copyright, before the case was settled out of court. Apparently, part of that settlement involved ruining the band’s chances for success by getting them involved in really shitty comics like this, as well as getting to call them Singing Sensations from Down Under, as if Archie’s front cover blubs were written by someone from the ‘60s.

(The indica for the book says that “the individual characters’ names and likenessess are the exclusive trademark of Archie Comic Publications, Inc.” I wonder if that’s an oversight, or if the Veronicas now belong to Archie after the settlement?)

In my younger days, I was a secret fan of Archie books, which seemed harmless and old-fashioned, but kind of sweet nonetheless. Maybe it’s just nostalgia talking, but I remember those stories having plots, unlike the three stories in this issue (First story: Veronica helps the Veronicas get to a concert… And they get there! Second story: Veronica and Midge say that they like to go skating and snowmobiling… And do neither! Third story: Veronica says she’s going shopping… But she’s actually helping disadvantaged kids to learn!). I’d really like to think that this comic seemed so dull because I’m just not the audience that it’s meant for, but… nah. This really is just lazy work. Surely everyone deserves stories that have some story to them, after all. Being used to Dan DeCarlo’s Archie work, the current art team of Dan Parent and Jim Amash seems to be lacking as well, with every character seeming to be more flat and generic than I left them. Archie comics have never really been at the cutting edge of comics – I’m not sure that they were even at the cutting edge of comics aimed at kids, for that matter – but they were definitely much better than this, once upon a time. Overall, pretty Awful, really.

X-MEN: THE 198 #1: The fourth sequel to House of M to explore the aftermath of “M-Day” (behind the Decimation one-shot, Son of M, and Generation M), and by this point, I give up. Wouldn’t it have been nice to have all of these stories be told in one title, preferrably one of the core X-Men books? This series, which shares a writer with Son of M and a concept – what happened to the other mutants in the wake of losing their powers? – with Generation M (Yes, I know that this book focuses on the mutants that still have their powers, and Generation M on the mutants that don’t. But still, it’s the same basic idea, and one that probably would’ve been stronger if each group’s story could be contrasted with the other), has no real reason to exist, and that vapidity is at the heart of this introductory issue. Minor characters get into trouble, sentinels attack, and I lose interest and wonder how many new series an event that was meant to reduce the number of mutants can spin off, instead. Crap, with special mentions for the eyecatching cover by Juan Doe and the ugly interior art by Jim Muinz.

See what I mean about it being a weak week? And that’s without my again complaining about what’s become of JLA, which I’m skipping because I did that last week and there’re only so many times that you can say “Really, it’s barely professional editorially-directed filler” before it gets boring. PICK OF THE WEEK is Ultimate Extinction, the book that makes me reconsider how dumb an idea Ultimate Galactus is, and PICK OF THE WEAK is Veronica, because it makes me sad in my comics lovin’ heart. Give the book to Bryan Lee O’Malley and Cameron Stewart, tell them to make comics for teenage girls and see what happens, says I.

It’s not all doom and gloom, however, because the TRADE OF THE WEEK is Essential Avengers Volume 5, and it is a thing of wonder. Roy Thomas in his prime starts off the collection, before giving way to Steve Englehart, who brings the X-Men, the Defenders, and Don Heck along for the ride. These are comics so good that they’ll make you want to talk like Stan Lee for days afterwards. 500+ pages of 1970s Marvel Madness for less than $20, effendi! Nuff Said!

If You Think That Our Dance Is All In The Hips: Graeme's reviews of a lot of books.

Rosario Dawson is going to save comics! Or something. I’m sure that Ms. Dawson is a wonderful person and everything, but the announcement of her new comic from Speakeasy sounds less like Speakeasy breaking new ground and more like the time that Marvel said that Freddie Prinze Jr. was going to write Spider-Man for them to me. Still, good luck to her, if only because I thought Josie And The Pussycats was a great movie. Because I’ve been away for the last month or so, I’m not reviewing this week’s books as much as various books from the last four weeks that I managed to get through this week, in between long stretches of work and more long stretches of work. It’s a fairly DC-centric list, but at least I’m avoiding the three DC trades that I got for Christmas, so as to not bore those who don’t understand the brilliance of ‘50s and ‘60s DC superhero books. Those who wish I was reading more indie things, recommend stuff to me for when I’m done catching up.

BIRDS OF PREY #89: Call me a sucker, but I was glad to see that the DC solicits for March didn’t follow through on Gail Simone’s hints that Birds of Prey would have an entirely new cast after the One Year Later jump. Never mind this issue’s fanboy thrill of Ex-Commissioner Gordon finding out that his daughter is Oracle and then telling her that he’d always known that she was Batgirl, there’s just something comfortably dependable about this book; Gail’s proven herself to be a writer (much like Dan Slott over at Marvel, for that matter) that brings characterisation, action and snappy dialogue far better than the B-list characters that she works with deserve. As with most DC books right now, this issue is pretty much closed off to new readers nonetheless, as it’s tying up loose ends before Infinite Crisis hits, but it’s done with heart and humor. Okay, if you can follow what’s going on.

THE FLASH #229: Talking of Infinite Crisis, this book’s still vamping for no immediately apparent reason before cancellation. Given that we’re one issue away from the end and the story still feels like the product of the fill-in team that it is, I’m still not sure why they didn’t just end the book with the last issue of Geoff Johns’ run. What’s that, you say? “Money”? Oh. Crap.

GOTHAM CENTRAL #39: Hello, heavy final page foreshadowing of depressing ending: “He believed in what you did, in what he did… And I do too, Renee… Right now, I have to… What choice do I have? Because if I don’t… Oh, Lord, if I don’t, Renee… Then my husband has died for nothing…” And with that, any hope I had that the book wouldn’t end with a “The law isn’t enough” conclusion flew right out the window (Not that I had that many hopes for that, considering the hints about Montoya’s downward spiral continuing in 52 that’re flying around the place these days). Nonetheless, this is the best that the series has been in years, with a plot and quality that mirrors the story that launched the book, maybe because it feels like there’s a direction again after so many issues of Plug In The Generic Batvillain. Kano and Stephano Gaudiano provide some nice art, too. All round Good, really.

GREEN LANTERN #6: I’m sure there was a coherent story somewhere in here, once upon a time. Geoff Johns probably just got really really distracted while he was writing it or something. Simone Bianchi’s art is a thing of strangely-European-comics-of-the-70s wonder, as Hibbs mentioned through Lester way back when it came out, but even it can’t save this from having the feeling of having been written by someone who’s not sure what to do with a favorite toy now that he owns it. Eh, eh and more eh.

INFINITE CRISIS #3: Is it wrong of me to be loving this as much as I am? The reveal of who the second Lex Luthor was made a strange kind of sense, and I’m wondering if the obvious Earth-2 Superman Represents Geoff Johns And He Hates Today’s Comics of the first couple of issues is all a set-up for Earth 2 Superman Is Old And Easily Fooled, If You Didn’t Like Identity Crisis Then You’re Old And Easily Fooled Too further down the line, which’d be fun. Batman having a breakdown! Superboy being a whiny bitch! A page of neon This is the new Blue Beetle signage! Yes, it’s preaching to the converted, but what superhero book coming from Marvel or DC that isn’t written by Grant Morrison isn’t these days? For what it is, it’s Very Good, but you can have the argument that what it is isn’t a good thing in the long term, if you want.

JLA #123: By contrast, Crap. So, Brad Meltzer’s going to relaunch this with Ed Benes, apparently, which means that, in a few months, we’ll have a decently-written if Gerry Conway-worshipping Justice League book that looks as if it was drawn in the ‘90s. I can’t wait.

Okay, I can.

SEVEN SOLDIERS: BULLETEER #2 / SEVEN SOLDIERS: FRANKENSTEIN #2: And the second wave of Seven Soldiers continues, as Grant seems to explaining everything after all. Bulleteer feels like Old Friends Week, as we get a direct follow-up to Seven Soldiers #0, as well as an indirect follow-up to Shining Knight #3. Both are welcome, but both also rob the book of its own feel or identity a bit; instead of a book in itself, it feels like it’s the exposition book where Grant had an idea for a character, but not a story. Frankenstein, on the other hand, brings back a character from Klarion and possibly explains what he was up to all along, but in a story that feels like it could only have happened in this book. It’s an entirely different feel from the horror movie of the first issue – this one is a big budget sci-fi movie – but it works; perhaps this is the series where Grant’s going to tackle mainstream movie genres each issue. Bulleteer: Okay, Frankenstein: Excellent.

SUPERMAN/BATMAN #23: I get a lot of shit for being a fan of this book, and it’s around this point where I start thinking that I may be deserving of it. We’re four months into Jeph Loeb’s phoning it in, with a plot that substitutes dramatic reveals for substance or logic and dialogue that’s entirely injoke or cliché. What makes it different from the times where this book has worked for me – Ed McGuinness’s first run on the title, or the Carlos Pacheco run – is the lack of big stupid idea fun. Yes, there’s a half-chuckle at seeing the Maximums poking fun at the Ultimates, but that joke’s old within a few pages, never mind a few issues, and there’s nothing behind it to make it last. Kryptonite Batman? Great, but make it something more that him hitting Superman for a few pages and then going away with no explanation. The return of Red Son Superman and Batman Beyond? If they were there for any reason, sure. I don’t know; there seemed to be some internal logic to things like the Giant Composite Superman Batman Robot, or the Zombie Justice League, in the past that’s lacking here. It’s as if whatever gonzo credibility the book had has been abandoned in the rush to the finish line. Ed McGuinness’s art is still the bouncy castle of the superhero world, though. Eh.

THE THING #2: It really is just Marvel Two-In-One, isn’t it? Not that that’s a bad thing, but there’s something incredibly old-school about this book in writing and art (I have no idea why Andrea Di Vito has the reputation that he does amongst some fans – His work is generic and workmanlike to me, as if he was a fill-in guy on Nova or something in the ‘70s. Which, bizarrely, makes sense on this series) that’s both comforting and disturbing at the same time: Yes, it’s nostalgic and everything, but shouldn’t it be more, somehow? It’s Good, but I feel as if you should get more for your money, for some reason.

WONDER WOMAN #224: I know that it’s extremely anal to care about things like continuity and things like that, but the editors of this and Infinite Crisis need to be reminded to care about such things anyway. For those who haven’t seen this issue, it theoretically expands upon the six-or-so page scene in Infinite Crisis #3 where the Amazons bring out the Purple Death Ray, use it, and then leave Earth forever. And, in theory, that’s okay, because it’s a massive change to Wonder Woman’s status quo and should be seen in her own book so that people who aren’t reading Infinite Crisis know what happened. The problem is in the execution, as the two different versions of what happened are miles apart. It’s not just the dialogue which is, of course, different. It’s that neither book could agree on the sequence of events - Wonder Woman’s version adds in a confrontation between Brother Eye and Diana that’s missing from Infinite Crisis. Infinite Crisis has an appearance of Diana’s Gods that’s missing in Wonder Woman - or what the Purple Death Ray is – In Infinite Crisis, it’s a giant cannon, in Wonder Woman, a handgun attached to a backpack (Also, nowhere in Wonder Woman do they explain what the Purple Death Ray is. They use “PDR”, and “death ray”, perhaps because Greg Rucka felt suitably embarrassed at having to type the words “Purple Death Ray”). Like I said, I know it’s anal to care about things like that, but there’s such a difference between the two different versions of what’s meant to be the same thing that it just seems as if no-one cares enough to pay attention to what anyone else was doing. And to make matters worse for Wonder Woman, Infinite Crisis’s version was better, purely because it was lacking the overwrought dialogue and narration by Rucka. The end, and subsequent relaunch, of this book can’t come fast enough. Awful.

Y THE LAST MAN #41: The secret origin of 355 that has something to do with biting people and cannibals, but still ends up being kind of dull. I don’t know if it means that I’ve read/seen the “trauma in childhood leads to self-destructive impulses in teenage years that get harnessed by secret organization” thing too many times, or if it’s just that I’m feeling burned out by the lack of of forward motion in the story over the last few issues, but this was the most Eh the book has been since it started.

YOUNG AVENGERS SPECIAL #1: It’s pretty, but pretty vacant, as Jonathan Rotten once wrote in an early issue of The Comics Journal about the work of Barry Windsor Smith. Allen Heinberg’s tendency to be earnest overwhelms his tendency to be funny as he writes his way around a non-plot full of flashbacks to each character’s origin, each one illustrated by a big name artist slumming it just a little, and a small part of my love for the regular Young Avengers title dies as a result. With two exceptions, the flashbacks are either pointless or things we already know, but the two exceptions are worth mentioning – Kate’s flashback has her being attacked and, it’s implied, raped, which hopefully will be followed up at some point in the main title if only to make the inclusion of it here less gratutious (Yes, I know, Marvel heroes are born of tragedy and bad things, but still), and Billy’s flashback has him meeting the Scarlet Witch, which seemed interesting considering her current status in the Marvel Universe. The third bit of foreshadowing has a young Kang watching the team while a character comments “I don’t think there’s anything they can’t handle,” which is about as subtle as Greg Rucka’s Gotham Central thing above, and depressingly suggests that no story will ever just end in Young Avengers, but instead lead into reappearing characters and angst. For a comic that has no reason to exist, it’s Okay, but you can skip it and not miss anything you probably won’t catch again in the regular YA title.

PICK OF THE LAST FEW WEEKS THAT I’VE FINALLY MANAGED TO CATCH UP ON is Frankenstein, while the PICK OF THE WEAK is Wonder Woman, because it is very, very bad indeed. Tradewise, all I’ve been reading this week are old DC comics: SHOWCASE PRESENTS JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA, CRISIS ON MULTIPLE EARTHS: THE TEAM-UPS and that one about the greatest imaginary stories ever. But if you’re looking for a TRADE OF THE WEEK, I won’t believe anyone who says that Essential Official Handbook of The Marvel Universe isn’t what the world has been waiting for.

Next week: I continue to catch up on things, and Glaswegian Denise Mina takes over Hellblazer, which makes me homesick and hopeful for cruel Scottish weirdness on a monthly basis.

First Post(!) of 2006, because I woke up early.

A couple of years ago, Kate and I went to Hawaii for New Year; her brother lives there, working in the Coast Guard and saving lives and telling us how great the weather is in Maui. So, all of Kate's family decides that Maui's obviously the perfect place to see in the New Year, and we all save up our pennies and fly out, ready for sun, sea and surf. It rained for the entire time we were there.

The first three days or so, we managed to convince ourselves that tropical heatwaves were just around the corner. "The rain is the Gods' way of saying aloha!" we were told by locals eager to keep us from being depressed, and we went along with it until New Year's Eve, which we spent outside, soaked to the skin, watching people in fake grass skirts try and smile while freezing to death as they tried to do traditional dancing. We went back to our hotel, where the TV news told us that we were in the middle of the worst rain Maui had seen for over 30 years.

So this year, Kate and I decided to go on a road trip to Portland, Oregon for New Year, just the two of us, getting away from it all. We'd drive up the coast, route 1, then 101, stopping off for an evening in nice local cheap hotels along the way. Guess what happened?

We're cursed when it comes to New Year travelling, I'm telling you. Cursed.

(We're back in San Francisco now, after an epic 14 hour journey yesterday that seemed as if it may never end by the time we got stuck outside of Vacaville for two hours because route 80 was closed. Not that that was the first time we'd found roads closed - 101 North was closed when we tried to go up in the first place, and the 505 was flooded last night as well. We did manage to make it to Portland, though, and stayed here, which we'd highly recommend to anyone looking for a hotel there.)

All of this is a long way to introduce the fact that I've not read many comics lately. But the last comic I read in 2005 was ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #3, which was really kind of Crap. Miller rips off his own Catwoman origin for the Black Canary, fails to move the plot forward at all, and Superman appears at the end for no good reason. Lee continues to make me think that he's drawing all of this in a rush, and somewhat embarrassed to be doing so, with some more weird proportions on almost every character... It's really not very good at all, which is a shame considering that I actually secretly enjoyed the first two issues.

Here's hoping 2006 sees better comics, better weather, and good fortune for the lot of you reading this. I'll try and not vanish for three weeks at a time again, as well. Happy New Year, all.

Why Not? Jeff's Best-Of Picks for 2005.

Didn't feel much like writing reviews today so I thought it might be fun to dig through my entries for 2005 and pull together a "Best of" list. Way back when (before we used blogger), Brian put together a best-of list that was impressively complete--by assigning numerical values to each grade, he was able to crunch numbers and statistically confirm his picks for the best books of the year. I thought it'd be a hoot to do that, even if I just sorted through my Picks of the Week and grabbed stuff. Of course, it's never that easy. I neglected to even make picks for the first few months of the year. So after spending the morning skimming through the 80,000 words I wrote for this blog this year (that's not a number pulled at random, by the way--I pulled all my entries into Word so I could do searches and decided to do a wordcount as well), I came up with the following:

Ongoing and minis Banana Sunday: Colleen Coover and Root Nibot's four issue mini was great all-ages fun with delightful characters and awesomely cartooned monkeys. I cannot wait for the trade as I hope to handsell a bunch of these.

Berlin: We only got two issues this year of Jason Lutes's masterly study of the city of Berlin at the dusk of its decadent days, but they were two very solid issues. If I was a bigwig at, say, Pantheon Books, I'd give Lutes lots of money so he could focus on this series fulltime. Great stuff.

Death Jr.: This videogame tie-in wasn't as strong as Ted Naifeh's solo work maybe, but his art looked amazing in full-color and the story was enjoyable all-ages work. Would that all tie-in work was this strong (although I don't think even Whitta and Naifeh could have saved, say, Marvel Mega-Morphs).

Desolation Jones: The first issue blew my mind. And although the rest hasn't come close, it's still a strong read, filled with heartbreakingly beautiful art, and a hero that revisits and deepens Ellis's "chainsmoking, miserable bastard" archetype.

Fell: This is equally strong work from Ellis--in fact, I would say it's even stronger since the three issues to date have been done-in-ones with shorter page counts--and the best work I've seen by Ben Templesmith by far. Deserves all the attention and sales it's been getting.

The Goon: I'm still working for a good high-concept pitch to explain Eric Powell's book (currently, I'm fond of "Imagine Bernie Wrightson drawing E.C. Segar's Popeye" but that's not it either) but that's probably because Powell, like Mike Mignola, has created something that draws on all of his interests and strengths that he can execute with complete confidence. One of my big faves.

Gotham Central: Surprisingly, this book popped up as my Pick of the Week a lot in 2005. I thought it would have worked better as a straight procedural stuff--it had just a tremendous line-up of talent the whole way through, and Brubaker and Rucka lavished a lot of time and care on their scripts even when they had bigger gigs to attend to--than as the "Batbook-but-not-really" approach. But what do I know? Maybe it would have sold even more poorly without superheroes and supervillains splashed all over it. I'll be sorry to see this one go.

Hellboy The Island: This miniseries really humbled me because I outright loved it and yet would be hard-pressed to explain anything that happened. Also, I had strangely complex emotional responses to the work even while not understanding it. I hope that means there's more than just "some guy natters on at Hellboy until punching begins" to the piece. Even if not, it's mind-blowing cartooning.

Little Star: Every issue of this I encounter in a kind of free-fall: I read it, love it, am unable to find out while in the store how many issues it is and how close it is to being finished, and then hang in limbo until the next issue. In a way, it's a nice match for Andi Watson's quiet examination of a family man caught between his career dreams and daily life, but I also find myself greedy for the trade to see how subtly Watson worked his themes throughout all the chapters.

Planetary: Not quite sure how many issues we got this year (two? three?) but I admire how Ellis and Cassaday take a slow-but-steady approach to this regardless of impatient fan clamor.

Seven Soldiers: I'm not crazy about the whole thing (at least not yet) but the zero issue, and the Guardian and Klarion miniseries kicked my ass soundly with their dark humor, ambition and fun. That Morrison can live up to his own hype as often as he does is a remarkable achievement.

Solo: All the issues have been great, but those issues three through five (Paul Pope, Darwyn Cooke and Mike Allred) were tremendous works by idiosyncratic artists with things to say about DC characters and DC concepts. I hope DC keeps all of these in print, because we could probably sell those three issues 'til the end of time.

Shaolin Cowboy: Geoff Darrow's rousing series has had two issues that just knocked me off my feet, but all of it is worth time and attention as Darrow takes his trademark meticulous art and uses it as a straight man to his enjoyably deranged story concepts. This stuff made me laugh even while holding me in awe of the talent at work. Wow.

She-Hulk Vol. 2: Dan Slott reteams with Juan Bobillo for another round of impressively crafted stories that manage, by dint of talent and affection, to simultaneously send-up and honor all manners of superhero craziness. I can't tell how glad I am this team and title got another chance.

Young Avengers: More or less ditto with Allan Heinberg's stuff here, although it's not quite as satisfying as Slott's work. It's hit a stumble or two (The Patriot drug thing, the time-travel stuff which always hurts my brain) but for the most part he's taken an absurd premise and made it one of my favorite titles on the stand each month. I'll take it over New Avengers any day.

Stand-outs & One shots: Action Philosophers All Sex Special: Dunlavey and Van Lente tackle the lives (and sex lives) of St. Augustine, Thomas Jefferson and Ayn Rand, and allow the reader to infer how their subjects' philosophies meet and differ. Really knocked me out.

Following Cerebus #5: Dave Sim, in pondering his thoughts about how an editor shapes the work, calls up guys like Paul Pope, Chester Brown and Craig Thompson to see what degree it's played for them. Shows the suprisingly expansive and inquisitive sweep of this magazine to all areas of the comic field, not just Sim's work.

Love & Rockets Vol 2 #14: I always love Jaime and Beto's L&R, but Jaime's work in this issue captured all the bittersweet joys of being middle-aged and seeing life unfold around you. Awesome.

Moxie, My Sweet: A collective of artists tackle a handful of stories by Mark Campos which allows for the sweep of an anthology but the focus of a personal vision. A little pricey maybe but worth it.

Spider Man Human Torch #3: I liked all of this mini by Slott and Templeton but I loved this issue in particular: The Spider-Mobile, The Red Ghost and The Super-Apes and Hostess ads are some of the greatest and goofiest things about comics in the '70s and this issue has them all in a perfectly constructed story.

Ultimate Fantastic Four #19-20: Mike Carey and Jae Lee take old tropes from early FF comics--the Baxter Building under attack, the FF running down hallways in different directions and facing super deathtraps--and update them with wit and panache. Unlike a lot of Ultimate books, this doesn't try to shatter your brain with over-the-top widescreen action and radical reinvention. It just works, and works very well.

Trade Paperbacks, OGNs and Collections 676 Apparitions Of Killoffer HC: I dissed this at release because it was too fucking big and too fucking expensive, but goddamned if some of the imagery hasn't continued to haunt me. It's a stunning achievement worth seeking out, and Killoffer is one of those cartoonists I can't wait to see more of, but couldn't this have worked just as well at a smaller size and price? So I can recommend to people who don't have money falling out of their pockets?

Beck Mongolian Chop Squad: I'd like to think I would have loved the first two volumes of Harold Sakuishi's rock and roll coming of age manga without first reading O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim, but I'll never know for sure. 2005 is the year I've really gotten hooked on manga and the joy of a big, unfolding story. Unfortunately, because this is currently my favorite, it just can't get released fast enough for me. (I also debated about whether to put manga in the ongoing section or the trade section--since they're episodic, most manga are just big floppies in some ways, but I opted to put them here because it's how they categorized, by and large).

Black Hole HC: I still haven't reread it all in one go, but just having this book on my shelf is a triumph. How many publishers did this series outlast? In a way, this is such a distillation of all of Burns' obsessions, I'll be curious to see what his next major work ends up being about. The same things reconfigured? Or will this put some ghosts to rest?

The Best of The Spirit TPB: As I said a few weeks ago, having a greatest hits book and a library of work for completists is the sign of a more diverse marketplace, and I love being able to read some of my favorite Spirit stories without either spending some serious coin or flipping through longboxes for my Kitchen Sink issues. I wish two of the big releases of this year--The Push Man and Walt & Skeezix--could have had the leisure to introduce their artists in such a fashion, rather than starting at the very beginning of their careers and working forward.

Essential Fantastic Four Vol 4 TPB: Similarly, having a inexpensive collection of the best work of Lee & Kirby (and Sinnott--I think Sinnott is what really helped kick Kirby into overdrive on this title) was great. James Masente was shocked I didn't give this an Excellent rating when I first reviewed it, and in a way he's right--it's just right near the tip-top of the best comics work ever done--but that's because, as lovely as it looks in black and white, it's not in color as originally intended.

Ice Haven TPB: Dan Clowes' reworking of his influential standalone issue of Eightball added needed highlighting to themes and subplots (I needed it, anyway). I wish it wasn't so much more expensive than the original issue considering there's not that much more added to it, but it's an important work and having it in a format that can end up in libraries and classrooms is a vital step--one that makes me hopeful the medium has undergone a sea change in public perception that will not be undone.

Kinetic TPB: Thank god this got collected. Too subtle to build a readership, Kelley Puckett and Warren Pleece's very odd book about a teen that gets superpowers is a genuinely affecting work. I can't help but wonder where it might have gone if it'd continued publication, but it was offbeat enough that its sudden conclusion felt fitting.

The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck TPB: I can't tell you how many of these I've handsold this year. In fact, for me, it's been the crucial missing element to our all-ages section. Between this, the one-volume Bone, and the three volumes of Leave It To Chance, I've got a substantial selection of work to show parents. Not only do they usually pick up at least one of those titles, but I feel confident they'll be back for more. This is just a great read for anyone--it's filled with history, action, comedy and characterization. In a way, it's Origin done right and I'm glad it's finally easily accesible. This sucker has got to stay in print.

Love Roma Vol. 1: I'm very much a manga neophyte but even I could tell Minoru Toyoda's love story among two seventh graders is unique. Since it's a romantic comedy of manners, I also have to give kudos to Del Rey for providing the right amount of cultural context for the reader to get it. This is another one where I've been impatiently waiting for the next volume for months.

Perfect Example TPB: Like Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck, this collection of John Porcellino's tales from the '80s was previously available as a trade. I'm grateful to Drawn & Quarterly for getting it back into print. Porcellino is unique in his ability to glean the beatific just under the skin of the mundane and to show how each depends on the other.

Scott Pilgrim Vols 1 and 2 OGN: Volume 1 came out in 2004 but it was one of the first things I read in '05. Bryan Lee O'Malley is a major talent, and his tale of a Canadian slacker's love life effortlessly works nearly every major pop culture diversion of the last forty years into his material yet still makes the work effortlessly smart and funny. But the bitch of it is, that's just scratching the surface. This may just turn out to be one of the best bildungsromans seen in any medium, A Portrait of the Artist As A Young Man that's delightful and accessible to everyone. Probably my favorite work of the year, overall.

Sgt. Frog vols. #1-10: I owe John Jakala a bottle of good Scotch or something for hooking me on this absurd and enjoyable comedy series about a group of incompetent invaders ostensibly readying to attack Earth. Mine Yoshizaki and crew are able to do so much with so little, and have mastered the formula of introducing a new element whenever things start to lag. (I think there's also some weird subtext going on in the book, but that's a topic for another day.) This series is a true guilty pleasure for me, and recommended for anyone who likes the deeply silly.

Seaguy TPB: Speaking of deep and silly, this is the collection of Grant Morrison and Cameron Stewart's Vertigo mini from 2004, where an unimportant hero ends up on an essential quest in a world that's seemingly forgotten such things. A lot of people seemed to get tripped up on all the wackiness, but this wasn't just a lark. Seaguy is also a sad and knowing parable about how comic companies retard the growth of even their lamest icons (and, by extension, the people who read them). Great stuff.

Sexy Voice and Robo: Iou Kuroda's offbeat set of stories detail the adventures of a smart teen phone club worker who has adventures with gangsters, killers, mad bombers, and a hapless otaku type. It's the closest I've found yet to a comic equivalent of Haruki Murakami's enjoyably odd novels.

Top Ten: The Forty-Niners OGN: Alan Moore and Gene Ha return to Neopolis, this time to its founding, to show a world and a young man in transition. As (almost) always, Moore effortlessly retools the superhero milieu to heighten the humanity of his story, and in Ha, he's found a perfect collaborator to take his amusingly baroque approach to new levels. Fun, fun, fun.

Trailers HC: Far from perfect, this OGN by Mark Kneece and Julie Collins-Rousseau, about a young man cracking under the pressure of keeping a dark secret in a white-trash trailer park where secrets are impossible, had great art, a strong story and a very decent page-to-price ratio. A very solid read, and I hope this team gets a chance to tell more stories and strengthen their chops.

Tricked TPB: Like Box Office Poison, Alex Robinson's latest tale is nearly peerless in making its reader care about what happens to his characters. Although somehow, like BOP, I found this an engrossing, intensely enjoyable read despite being oddly empty: I can't say it left a lasting impression despite its ambition. But a good read is a good read, and crafting an enjoyable page-turner of this size is no small achievement.

Ultra Vol 1 Seven Days TPB: Girls isn't really doing the trick for me, but this collection of the Luna Brothers' first mini from 2004 is a witty mix of Sex and the City and superheroes. It doesn't sound like it'd work, like it would be too calculated, but I thought it did work, and well.

WE3 TPB: And finally, this collection of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely's three issue mini of animals in battlesuits trying to escape the military is a masterfully crafted shot of heartfelt adventure.

Wow. I thought that would be easier than reviewing this week's books! That'll teach me.

What'd I overlook? What made your list?

Shipping 12/29

Staff party, Christmas at Mom's, Hannukah at Dad's... Three parties in three days,man, I am pooped! Here's what's shipping this week -- another stupidly large week, yes. Remember, comics are not for sale until THURSDAY, both this week, and next. If you go into your Local Comic Shop on Wednesday, they're going to point thier fingers at you and laugh.

10 ONE SHOT 2000 AD #1467 2000 AD #1468 30 DAYS OF NIGHT ANNUAL 2005 ACME NOVELTY LIBRARY #16 ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THEBOY WONDER #3 AMAZING FANTASY #16 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #527 ARANA HEART OF THE SPIDER #12 ARCHAIC #1 ARCHIE DIGEST #222 BART SIMPSON COMICS #27 BATMAN #648 BERLIN #12 BETTY & VERONICA #214 BLACK PANTHER #11 BLACK WIDOW 2 #4 (OF 6) BPRD THE BLACK FLAME #5 (OF 6) CATWOMAN #50 DAREDEVIL #80 DAREDEVIL FATHER #5 (OF 6) DRAX THE DESTROYER #4 (OF 4) EVIL ERNIE IN SANTA FE #3 (OF4) EXILES #74 FALLEN ANGEL IDW #1 FANTASTIC FOUR SPECIAL FATHOM #6 FREAKSHOW #12 GEORGE ROMEROS LAND OF THE DEAD #4 (OF 5) HACK SLASH LAND OF LOST TOYS #2 (OF 3) HEAD #13 HUNTER KILLER #5 JLA CLASSIFIED #15 JOVAS HARVEST #2 (OF 3) KEEP #3 (OF 5) LOVELESS #3 LUCKY BAMBOO PRESENTS #0 MALINKY ROBOT BICYCLE METAL GEAR SOLID SONS OF LIBERTY #2 NEW AVENGERS #14 NICK FURY HOWLING COMMANDOS #3 NIGHT MARY #5 (OF 5) OFFICIAL HNDBK ULTIMATE MARVEL UNIV ULTIMATES & X-MEN 2005 PARIS #2 (OF 4) PERHAPANAUTS #2 (OF 4) REVELATIONS #5 (OF 6) REVOLUTION ON THE PLANET OF THE APES #1 (OF 6) ROCKETO #4 SENTRY #4 (OF 8) SHE-HULK 2 #3 SILENT DRAGON #6 (OF 6) SILENT HILL DEAD ALIVE #1 (OF5) SOLO #8 SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #157 SPIDER-MAN BLACK CAT EVIL THAT MEN DO #5 (OF 6) SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE #1 SUPERMAN BATMAN #23 TEEN TITANS GO #26 THING #2 THOR BLOOD OATH #6 (OF 6) ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #26 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #88 UNCLE SCROOGE #349 VIGILANTE #4 (OF 6) WALT DISNEYS COMICS & STORIES #664 WHAT IF DAREDEVIL WHAT IF THOR WOLVERINE #37 WONDER WOMAN #224 X-FACTOR #2 X-MEN #180 X-MEN AND POWER PACK #3 (OF 4) YOUNG AVENGERS SPECIAL #1

Books / Mags / Stuff BLACKSAD VOL 3 TP CAPTAIN AMERICA & THE FALCON SECRET EMPIRE TP CHARLEYS WAR VOL 2 AUG OCT 1916 HC COMICS BUYERS GUIDE MAR 2006 #1614 CONAN AND THE JEWELS OF GWAHLUR HC DAWN VOL 1 LUCIFERS HALO NEW ED TP DIMONA VOL 2 GN (OF 3) FABLES VOL 6 HOMELANDS TP FEMME FATALES DEC 05 JAN 06 VOL 14 #5 GOON FRANKY MINI BUST HARLEQUIN PINK A GIRL IN A MILLION TP HARLEQUIN VIOLET RESPONSE TP KID BEOWULF GN LADY SNOWBLOOD VOL 2 THE DEEPSEATED GRUDGE TP LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL TP LOTR MAP OF MIDDLE EARTH POSTER MARVEL ADVENTURES SPIDER-MAN VOL 2 POWER STRUGGLE DIGEST MARVEL COMICS PRESENTS WOLVERINE VOL 2 TP MARVEL MASTERWORKS GOLDEN AGEALL WINNERS VOL 1 NEW ED HC RANN THANAGAR WAR TP SENTRY TP NEW PTG SFX #138 SHADOW STAR VOL 7 VICTIMS EYES ASSAILANTS HANDS TP SHAUN OF THE DEAD TP SPAWN COLLECTION VOL 1 HC STAR TREK COMICS CLASSICS VOL2 DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR TP (C: STAR WARS GENERAL GRIEVOUS TP STRANGE GIRL VOL 1 GIRL AFRAID TP TEZUKAS BUDDHA VOL 7 PRINCE AJATASATTU HC TIMES OF BOTCHAN VOL 2 GN (OF10) TOP COWS BEST OF MICHAEL TURNER TP ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN VOL 14 WARRIORS TP VIDEO WATCHDOG NOV 2005 #123 WE ALL DIE ALONE HC WILD ROCK GN

As for the ASSHAT OF THE WEEK, well, it's Christmas, man, so let's skip pointing any fingers. Not the latest title, but, still, I have to wonder why we're getting the 7th volume of Tezuka's BUDDHA when they haven't shipped us the 6th one yet....

-B

Well, Whatever: Jeff's Reviews of 12/21 Books....

It's not like you have the time to read these reviews, but since I have the time to write 'em... ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #647: Perfect for the holidays since it smacks a bit of the regifting process, or so I assume: I'd think Rucka had this all plotted out long before the Countdown and IC stuff came along, so that the Ruin-ready-to-show-the-world-Superman-killing-him felt like Rucka repeating himself when he probably came up with the shtick here first (where it makes a bit more sense), and decided to run with it later. That, and some other stuff might drive me crazy in another context, but considering I enjoyed reading it: OK. And if you compare it to the other two Superman arcs that started at the same time (Lee & Azzarello, Austen & Reis), you'd probably go much higher than that.

BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #72: Very surprised by how much I liked this for several different reasons--it's one of those rare stories that would work even without the Bruce Wayne/Batman angles, but once you factor that in, it's strangely resonant: Batman's origin touches on all kinds of childhood abandonment issues so a story about whether Thomas Wayne cheated on his wife is far more evocative than, I dunno, what if he was The Crime Doctor or some such. Also since this is the title that has, frankly, shat on parts of the Batman canon, there was no guarantee there would be a pat reassuring ending. I give it a high Good, but can't guarantee you'll feel the same.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #13: Gone are the Stan Lee influenced days when characters could have their meaningful conversations while participating in all-out fight scenes which makes pacing a bitch when you're trying to craft a book that has both meaningful conversations and the slam-bang stuff. Like other Brubaker/Epting issues, the pacing is a bit jerky but I thought this issue had the best blend of exciting action sequences and interesting plot developments. Thus, Very Good.

FANTASTIC FOUR IRON MAN BIG IN JAPAN #3: A really remarkable issue, although I can't decide whether Seth Fisher's amazing art does the story an injustice. After all, Zeb Wells has crafted a story that starts with Japanese kaiju, links it to Lovecraftian Cthulhu pastiche and then takes that into Morrisonian metafictional hijinks--all of which Fisher draws with simultaneously fetishistic detail and genuinely irreverant whimsy. It's like, I dunno, watching an issue of The Invisibles enacted by Jim Henson's Muppets--it's kick-ass, for sure, but you wonder how the material might have ended up in another artist's hands. On the other hand, I guess I should just be lucky it's not Pat Lee cranking it out. Very Good stuff, and it's not like Mignola is gonna draw a four issue mini for Marvel, but still...

FRIDAY THE 13TH BLOODBATH #2: I missed the first issue and didn't realize this was issue #2. Believe it or not, that worked just fine--in fact, while reading it, I thought it was kind of audacious to drop the audience right in the middle of the formula and then explain on the run what made this different. (Joke's on me, huh?) Anyway, depending on how much you appreciate the fine line between clever and stupid, you might like this. I give it an OK, but that may be because I didn't have a first issue to belabor this issue's points.

GOON #15: I blame the impressive amount of holiday traffic as to why I didn't actually finish it--or maybe it was an abundance of dense-seeming text in those first few pages. In any event, it looks gorgeous as always, but No Rating.

GREEN LANTERN #6: Will Hibbs do reviews? I doubt it but he should because he thought Simone Biachi's art on this was exceptionally gorgeous which more than made up for a story that made little or no sense whatsoever. He really went on and on about the art--it's great to see a jaded old hand like Hibbs get well and truly excited by stuff like "the way the shadow fell on that sailor's face on pg. 2" or whatever it was. Me, I like the art okay (I prefer Van Sciver's deeply unsettling stuff, myself) but think part of the reason the story didn't make sense is Bianchi botched some basic storytelling cues. Even if he hadn't, though, Johns' approach to this series--it reads like Green Lantern: The TV Show as done by the guy who does JAG--isn't really frying my burger these days, anyway. OK, but Hibbs would tell you different.

INCREDIBLE HULK #90: I'm no physics whiz, but how is Hulk able to rip or throw anything while floating unanchored in space? I thought that would pretty much the kibosh on this for me but it since Way may pull Hulk Plot #345--"Join me, Hulk, as we are both outcasts and monsters, and together we will crush the humans who..." blah-blah-blah--and I kinda like that one, I may be around for another issue. Eh.

INFINITE CRISIS #3: Didn't think I would like this either since the first ten pages or so are all "here's what's happening in all the books" summary pages, but then there's the plot and a very strange scene between Batman and the Superman of Earth 2 that somehow moved me despite not making a lot of sense. (As Hibbs pointed out, wouldn't Batman cease to exist if he were to successfully aid Superman?) I dunno, there was something about Batman having an anxiety attack over all the emotion he's been trying to suppress for so long that got to me. And although not particularly sophisticated, this miniseries does have a genuine subtext that (almost/kinda/sorta/or-maybe-not) seems like part of a dialogue between creators and readers--and I also find that kinda cool. So, Good.

NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST PARANOID #1: Oh, so this was the first issue? Whew! Although pretty slight on the over-the-top dream sequences (a bulimic drowns in her own vomit? Ewww, and yet, also, meh), the book sticks close to a really effective conceit--as long as the parents demolish the kids' freedoms and keep 'em drugged to the gills, they're safe--that kinda nails modern day America's willingness to take away individual freedoms in order to protect "the children." Ryp's art can look goregous at times as well, so very highly OK, overall.

PVP #21: I thought the LARP storyline was a highlight of Kurtz's year, and it reads very well here. Maybe not so much with the Christmas story but this is still a solid book, highly OK, and manages to not date as poorly as I thought it would.

ROBIN #145: I gotta say--if this had been drawn by Jack Kirby, I would've loved it. Having not read the vast majority of issues in this title (and/or having been indifferent to DC books for so long), it seemed like every page of this book was filled with another new (and usually dumb) character. (Although The Jury--those twelve guys with the numbers on their masks? Frickin' sweet!) It's no way to run a railroad--or tell a good Robin story--but I found myself won over, more or less by sheer exuberance. Also highly OK.

SEVEN SOLDIERS BULLETEER #2: Wha--? And yet, Good, if only for that scene where they get the criminal to talk by breaking the fingers on his detached hand. That was genuinely hilarious.

SIMPSONS COMICS #113: "Springfield Orphanage: 'If Your Parents Were Dead, You'd Be Home By Now.'" And other stuff that made me laugh out loud. Good.

SPIDER-WOMAN ORIGIN #1: Wow, what a solid issue. It didn't get lost in endless blather, it hit more than a single storypoint in a single issue, it had some really nice old-school shout-outs (I was partial to the Miles Warren one) and the art by the Luna Brothers was clean and attractive. But it was the refreshingly concise script by Bendis that really knocked me out. Good. I'm still kinda amazed.

SULLENGRAY #2: It's people! Sullengray is people! (Actually, I didn't read this. Sullengray is probably not people. That pun just kinda jumped out at me.)

TESTAMENT #1: Failed a casual flip test--I picked it up and put it down no less than three times (but then so did The Goon, and this was while working in a comics shop two days before Christmas)--but I kept trying and got dragged in eventually. Parts of the premise and approach remind me of Promethea(which I doubt is accidental), and Liam Sharp's art is gorgeous, plus it's interesting to see DC/Vertigo, normally skittish when it comes to Christianity, publish potentially blasphemous material. But it seemed more interesting the first time when I skimmed it too fast and I thought they were portraying the God of the Old Testament as a fiery bull-headed deity. Too soon to say where it goes from here, but it's of interest, I guess. Since this is the week for it: OK.

ULTIMATE WOLVERINE VS HULK #1: Fun, if you like books where everyone is pretty much an utter bastard. Which is kinda what the Ultimate Universe is about, by and large. OK.

X-MEN DEADLY GENESIS #2: I've heard rumors that Brubaker's gonna be the next regular writer on X-Men and sincerely hope that's the case. Characters, dialogue, structure--he's got a solid handle on all of it. I may not like where this ends up (Professor X is Bucky Barnes? So that's really how he lost the use of his legs!) and I may not be grooving on the editorial side of things (like, what does that cover have to do with the story, other than provide a spoiler/red herring not in the issue) but overall, I'm enjoying this a lot. Quite Good.

PICK OF THE WEEK: I was the least conflicted about Captain America #13 but FF/Iron Man: Big in Japan #3 was mind-boggling in any number of ways. I call a tie.

PICK OF THE WEAK: Tough call. Not only was I a big ol' softie overall this week, I didn't bother to write a review for a book I didn't at least kinda like because it seemed like too much work. I'm gonna give it too Friday the 13th Bloodbath #2 because it wasn't the first issue which means the mini as a whole could be pretty tedious.

TRADE PICK: Couldn't really tell ya. I liked this issue of Mome more than the first but the bang for the buck is still out of alignment. I remember the Veitch stories from that Swamp Thing trade with fondness but I didn't bother picking it up. And although it's not my pick, let me talk about the Year's Best Graphic Novels, Comics and Manga TPB for a second. It's far from polished, but the medium could use a nice big year-end review and this book covers more of the field than I would have thought possible. Too pricey for a book of excerpted promos, and some of those excerpts cut in and out clumsily, but it's a noble endeavor and worth looking at. Let's see another.

But it's volume 13 of the Knights of the Dinner Table: Bundle of Trouble I'm actually taking home--if you've ever spent any time rolling dice and marking off hit points, this stuff will amuse the hell out of you.

And that's that for me--at least for another week or so. If I don't see you tonight at the CE nog-a-thon, Happy Holidays!

Good Morning Sunshine: Jeff's Reviews of 12/14/05...

It was kinda awesome to check in on the blog this last week. Not too long ago, I was fretting about posting all the time, and whether or not Hibbs was gonna post, and how many days we could go without just dropping off viewers' websurfing patterns--and this last week I was able to read five different entries, without one of 'em having to be me. Plus one of the people posting is Graeme so it's also one of my favorite people to read on the Web. Life is good. Because despite Hibbs calling me out on some books, I was just too busy at my regular gig and with the CE newsletter to cover anything. However since it's now the day after the company Christmas party, and all is currently quiet:

ACTION COMICS #834: If you think outside the box on this issue, it's interesting: here's a story about Kryptonian fairy tales drawn by John Byrne, the guy who scrapped all that Kryptonian folklore back when he rebooted Superman. Byrne probably didn't give it a second thought but there's something kinda Requiem for a Heavyweight-ish about it to me. Additionally, this reminds me of nothing so much as an Elliot S! Magin/Curt Swan issue of Action before Byrne knocked it off--a good, competent Superman story where Superman has to use his wits as much as his strength. Good stuff--I'm still shocked DC Editorial is kicking this team to the curb....

BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #198: There's something kinda hinky about this issue and I just can't work out what it is--probably because Chris Weston's art overrides almost any objections. That sniping sequence was pretty goddamn neat, I thought, and just on the grounds of awesome art for a decent price, I'm giving this a Good. If I can work out what's bugging me, I'll let you know.

BOOKS OF DOOM #2: Wow, I really disagree with this. It's competently done, easy on the eyes and Brubaker clearly put a lot of thought into each turn but I really, really disagree with it. Removing that crucial turn, where Reed points out the error in Doom's calculations and Doom blows him off, just discards one of the more (or most) archetypal components of the character. Some future issue may well have a compensatory action but for now it reminds of that Stoppard's quote about the unicorn and the thinning of reality: "'Look, look,' recites the crowd. 'A horse with an arrow in its forehead! It must have been mistaken for a deer.'" Eh.

CABLE DEADPOOL #23: Until Whedon/Cassaday's Astonishing returns, this is my favorite x-book on the stands although I'm hard-pressed to justify why: as far as I can tell, Nicieza will take any Marvel character, no matter how absurd or how convoluted the history, take a quick cheap shot or two, and then proceed to treat that character with some degree of dignity. In other words, Nicieza more or less the way I remember Marvel comics reading, and I enjoy that. The art's a little weak--the telepathic battle between Cable and Commcast on the borders of the information bleed sounds like something straight out of delirious late era Kirby but looks like late era Jim Valentino--but there's enough there to give you the gist of things. So, despite my better instincts, I'm giving this Good although it's really more of an Okay experience, probably.

DMZ #2: Writing about this is kinda giving me the flopsweats, because I'm not sure I can ever remember reading something where the premise is so perfectly aligned with the creator--I really think this is the story Brian Wood's interests have been moving him toward for a long, long time--and still feel like something's not clicking. I'd think this book's theme is how a government must dehumanize the people it makes war against, and how the media is complicit in that, and ties that to the similar approach the government and the media take to true urban culture, but if so, those ideas aren't dramatized competently. There's one great scene that nails it, when Roth makes a comment that the media's been telling him (and the rest of the country) that Manhattanites are eating rats, when in fact they've been dining on vegetarian fare in beautiful rooftop eateries, but the rest of the time it's very clumsily dramatized--no more so than with young snipers in love, one merrily popping off lethal ammunition at another to get their attention, and with Roth's awakening to the humanity around him, which is terrifyingly banal: "Yeah, I thought these people would be monsters but they're hip and cool so they must be human!" (I'm paraphrasing, but it's kinda close to that.)

It's a tough subject to do justice to, and I sincerely hope Wood gets more adept as the series goes along, or some blinder falls from my eyes, or something. It's a really great premise, and there's the potential to do great things with it, but this issue leaves me wary as to how that premise will be fulfilled. Eh.

GHOST RIDER #4: Considering that this issue features someone riding a motorcycle and remorselessly destroying terrified thugs--and considering that person is not The Ghost Rider--I feel pretty safe in saying this mini's run into the ditch and won't be crossing the finish line. Really a drag. Awful.

GLX-MAS SPECIAL: It's really weird seeing Paul Grist in a Marvel comic, isn't it? I thought this was dark but enjoyable. I found it easier to enjoy than Slott's recent GLA recent mini because there Slott only shone light at the end, and here he frontloads it, allowing me to enjoy the free range of the whimsy (culminating in a squirrel fight where one of the participants is the embodiment of death). Funny stuff (although the more fannish your tastes, the funnier you'll find it) and Good.

GREEN ARROW #57: Everything you wanted to know about DC Editorial, Part 1: The cover says "The Shocking Conclusion!" (punning on Black Lightning's appearance, I guess.) The last page ends with a cliffhanger. Nice. If you cannot pay any attention to your own books--which you are paid to do--then why should I? Not really a bad issue or anything, but that stuff only adds to the feeling that this is being cranked out by the yard by people who can competently do it in their sleep. Eh.

LOCAL #2: You know when Rich Buckler was drawing Fantastic Four and Joe Sinnott was inking it, and it almost felt like you were really actually reading an FF book by Kirby even though you weren't? I liked those. Admittedly, I was seven or eight, but I liked them. Similarly, this issue felt like I was really actually reading a Paul Pope comic book even though I wasn't. And I don't mind, really. I want there to be more Paul Pope comics out there for me to read, and this was close enough to do the trick. As you can imagine, there are caveats that come with a recommendation like that, but I'll leave them to you to work them out. Good.

MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #21: Thank God the previous part's "Death of Superman" riffs didn't carry over--I thought we'd be stuck with at least one more issue of them--and now we're back to JMS's "Anatomy Lesson" riffs. Back when Straczysnksi started on this book, I put up with the Spider-elemental thing because I thought his dialogue was funny, the characterizations were decent, and the John Romita Jr. art was lovely. Now all that's left is the Spider-elemental thing and it's deeply frustrating. Hibbs seems to think the previous part was competently done; I think he was just relieved Count Chocula didn't eat anyone else's eye in an "all ages" book. If the best you can do is to completely (but competently) misunderstand what makes the character work, I can't give you more than Awful.

SECRET WAR BOOK FIVE: I've sooooo not been following this book since the second issue or so, but to gather all those heroes on a big ultra-covert mission (that Bendis keeps explaining over and over again, I guess to remind us how cool it sounds) and then have Angelina Jolie from Hackers deliver the coup de grace shows a nearly criminal lack of conviction. And it was either painted or reproduced way too dark so it was kinda impossible to see what was happening to whom during the big action sequences. A real waste of time, money and patience, I thought. Awful.

TEEN TITANS #30: Between this, GLX, the GLA trade, and Punisher Silent Night, it was a good week for bleak humor. It was great seeing Captain Carrot again, and it looks like Johns is at least toying with using that goofy old team to comment on the current dark trend in comics, but then again maybe not, because the rest of this is all blood-sucking, and evil-soul-returning and an case of Oedipal longing turned up to 11. I really have no idea where this is going, and that's kind of interesting: there could be a really spectacular car crash in store here, or Johns might really pull something clever out of left field. Either way, I'm along for the ride. Good.

X-FACTOR #1: I think I liked this even more than the previous Madrox miniseries, which is a pleasant surprise. I can chalk that up to David's facility with throwing a lot of stuff into action at once while still building on the interesting stuff from the previous mini, and Ryan Sook's art which gives all the characters a nice, believable range of emotion and body language. I'm sure Hibbs had the twist figured out three letters into the first caption, but I didn't and I thought it was great. Very Good, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of this.

ZOMBIE TALES DEATH VALLEY #1: At first, I thought Rhoald Marcellus's art was a little too cute for a zombie book, but this all came together nicely: by being more Night of the Comet than Dawn of the Dead, this book still managed to hit most of the zombie movie highlights without feeling like a cliched retread. I've never quite adjusted to the post-IDW indie market, so this still seems a litle pricey to me but I'll give it between an Okay and a Good depending on where your disposable income's at. I liked it.

PICK OF THE WEEK: X-Factor #1, as it turns out.

PICK OF THE WEAK: Not entirely fair since I didn't read all five damn dull issues, but I thought Secret War Book Five squandered the most talent, resources and good will of anything this week.

TRADE PICK: as per Laurenn's recommendation, I sat down with Jim Mahfood's Further Adventures of One-Page Filler Man but things got busy and I never cracked the cover. So I guess it's going to The Best of The Spirit which, to be fair, I haven't cracked the cover of either, but it passed the quick scan of the contents (The Killer? Check. Gerhard Shnobble? Check. Ten Minutes? Check.) and barring some printing nightmare, should be a great read or gift. The market needs more introductory books for the medium's masters, I think, and maybe there's finally room enough in the marketplace to have both their complete works and a greatest hits package. So I hope this sells a ton.

Friendly Neighborhood Reviews of 12/7 comics

In friendly neighborhood alphabetical order, here's a sliver of what I thought about this week's comics: BATMAN AND THE MONSTER MEN #2: I'll happily be Matt Wagner's bitch, just so you know. I love his clarity of storytelling, and he does "classic" Batman oh so well. Makes you sorta wonder why work of this quality doesn't run in BATMAN itself, and instead we have to have spin-off mini-series. I think putting this kind of "timeless" Batman work out in front of the general population would be the smartest course of all. Wonderfully terrific stuff, and a super easy VERY GOOD.

DEADPAN #1: Sometimes dream comics work, and sometimes they don't. Sadly, this is the latter case -- rather than illuminating essential human truths, David Heatley instead seems like a person I wouldn't want to spend any real amount of time with. Nor with his comic, which at $5 seems nearly half over-priced, and not using color to any specific effect or impact. That's my way of saying that I don't think the work would be, in anyway, diminished by being in B&W. Probably look nicer, actually. I'm going to go with AWFUL, but that grade is two steps harsher than this would have been at $2.95...

DETECTIVE COMICS #814: Lapham's "City of Crime" ends (finally), and while this overwrought vision worked well for me here (and on the first issue, as I recall) it also made me think that a huge chunk of the middle 10 issues were overkill. Not many people stuck around to the end (We lost something like 1/3 of the readers from part 1 to part 12), but I thought it was a GOOD ending, if on the lower side of the rating.

DOWN #2: I thought this issue worked a lot better than #1, though I wonder why the fuck Top Cow thought it was the right thing to do to release this 2 weeks after #1? We've waited... well, when was this title first announced? 2001? It was a good long while anyway... so, give us a chance to sell through at retail, yes? Especially when Warren has Too Many Comics on the shelf at once, like right now. That's why I hate being a comic retailer, some days -- trying to predict the sales patterns through the flood of recent work (FELL, JACK CROSS, DESOLATION JONES, the ULTIMATE stuff, etc.) can be like reading tea leaves? Why do I still have more than 40% of my copies of DOWN sitting on the rack, when all of the OTHER books have sold just about what I expected they would? We sold more copies of JACK CROSS than we did of DOWN #1, and DOWN is a better looking and reading book... Ah well. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, my gut tells me that absolutely everything our protagonist was told this issue was pure horse shit, but then I think "huh, already at halfway point, that would be a lot of exposition to reverse in just 2 issues". Well, I still have a feeling those were GOOD cops she murdered. Anyway, liked the issue, call it the low side of GOOD.

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #3: This comic book has a "rating" of "A", probably as you would want from a comic titled "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man". That Rating, according to the December MARVEL PREVIEWS, means the comic is "Appropriate for Ages 9 and up." Mm. Pulped faces, murder, death, yes, that's what I want to give a 9 year old!

This isn't what I want from a Spider-Man comic, to be honest. I don't want to read a comic that should be titled "Grim Worldly Spider-Man", where the hero kills, or loses an eye, or dies, or becomes some sort of Spider Avatar or something. I really really don't. I like a happy-go-lucky Spidey, one whose internal monologue is all doom, sure: "nobody loves me/I need money/whatever whine?" that kind of thing... but not one who is like what HAS to come out of this.

Despite hating every single development in this issue, I have to say that it is executed well - it moves crisply, is genuinely suspenseful, and was very pretty. I just hated all of its ideas. AWFUL.

GOTHAM CENTRAL #38: Best fucking issue in months, and, despite the "Spectre" on the cover, the thing I liked best about it was that it proceeded purely on its own internal character interactions -- no supervillians, or DCU intrusions, or Batman at all, and hit a homer all the way back to the fences without them. Despite the fact that I guess it WILL resolve with the DCU, in the end (That whole Spectre thing), there's not even the barest sense of it in here now, and that makes me like this issue more. All around an EXCELLENT. (Hopefully Jeff will post in his reviews what he thought the twist was going to be, because his idea was pretty clever.)

HARD TIME SEASON TWO #1: I thought it suffered from not having enough forward momentum, and way way too much recap. I liked the first series just fine, and would like to see this find an audience, but this wasn't an auspicious start, with there not being enough event to make me automatically come running back for #2. A very low OK, I'm sorry to say.

IMAGE COMICS HOLIDAY SP 2005: Half killer stuff (most of the Savage Dragon, and -spinoff stuff; and I also liked the Scenes from a Bar stuff, even if it didn't go anywhere) and half absolute dull phone-it-in stuff, just like pretty much any other holiday-themed anthology in the history of holiday-themed anthologies. Problem is, this one is $10. No, that's proportionate price, for the content involved, but, yikes man, $10!! Overall, I'll go with an OK, I guess, because none of the good work was good enough to overcome that $10 price tag for me.

JSA #80: This was the issue that made me realize I don't need to read the JSA any longer. It's not the issue itself either, necessarily -- lots of blah blah and fight fight, and it was all handled competently enough -- but it might be those covers. I mean, it will be cool once the whole set is done, and you can see a whole Alex Ross portrait of the JSA like that, but month after month after month and it is basically the same thing in different colors, and you just grow tired of it, y'know? OK

LOOKING GLASS WARS HATTER M #1: I was really worried about this when I read the description, 'cuz anything involving characters from Alice in Wonderland runs the extreme risk of being stupid. ESPECIALLY "Alice in the real world!" But, happily, Ben Templesmith's art helps it over the stupid-hurdle, and I found myself won over by the situation well enough. Gonna go with a low GOOD.

MARVEL ZOMBIES #1: I was wondering how the hell you could get 5 issues of that out, and I see you do it by kinda cheating, and having the characters just be their normal chatty selves. It is a really weird effect when reading the issue, though I was at least "bemused" pretty much all of the way through. I'm still not sure this is even slightly sustainable past 2-3 issues, but I liked the first one well enough. A very high OK.

NAT TURNER #2: What Graeme said, below -- this is terrific, emotionally investing material. On the other than, I got to knock down the grade a notch for that wretched and nearly unreadable font chose for the bio material. Even if it is "historically accurate", it is still really hard to read cursive, and I wish the shit would be banned in comic books. IN spite, that takes us down to VERY GOOD.

PENNY ARCADE 1X 25 CENTS: Now, see, the idea of promotional pricing is to get people to buy further product, and pay full price for that. The best way of doing this is putting your super a-game, solidly introducing your characters, situation, and providing (in the case of a humor strip) some serious belly laughs. What you don't want to do is pick what looks to be a purely random collection of strips, with absolutely no context or continuity whatsoever, none of which are funny because you, the new reader, has no idea whatsoever you're looking at. Up until now, I didn't think it was possible to waste a mere 25 cents on a comic. Now I do. CRAP.

ROCK N ROLL ONE SHOT: Lovely lovely lovely. Not much of a "read", but still very very nice to look at and flip through. On art alone, lets say GOOD.

SEVEN SOLDIERS MISTER MIRACLE #2: Understand first, that I never really liked the New Gods to begin with. So, that colors everything. I also think that Mr. Miracle is pretty much the least interesting of the NG, and the least sustainable -- when your one and only trick is "to escape", well, that can be a potent enough metaphor, but it's pretty ass for an ongoing character -- or to put it another way: once you've opened with an escape from a black hole, where is there to go from there? Again, I hope Jeff posts his bits this week, because he had some really terrific MM/NG theories and I would ruin them if I tried to paraphrase.

I also really don't think that tying something classic specifically to an individual cultural moment or event is the way to "reinvent" something -- and I think that 20 years from now that "Hip Hop New Godz" will seem about as quaint as, y'know, the Disco Dazzler. Jeff tried to tell me I'm wrong because of WEST SIDE STORY, but, with a weekend past to reflect on it, I think it was the addition of music that made that retelling of ROMEO & JULIET "timeless" rather than the tying of R&G to 1950s gang culture (sorta)

So, that long way of saying "I am predisposed to dislike this work" shouldn't leave much of a surprise that, huh, I disliked this work? Really, truly, and deeply. Even as I thought SHINING KNIGHT was a failure, I thought this was both a failure, and a really boring and unfocused comic book on top of that. The first real failure of "Seven Soldiers", I say: AWFUL.

SPIDER-MAN BLACK CAT EVIL THAT MEN DO #4: Totally lost for the first half as I was trying to remember what the hell happened 2-3 years ago when the first three issues were released. Both Spidey and DD's conversation seemed pretty horrifically out of character for each. The art also seemed rushed or something, too. Not worth half of the wait, hate to say it. EH.

SUPREME POWER NIGHTHAWK #4: A better Batman/Joker take than I've read in some time from DC, so there's that. Moving a bit slow, I guess, but still liking it enough (yay! Steve Dillon!) for a GOOD.

ULTIMATES 2 #9: Kind of astounding that Marvel would publish this, the centerpiece of their Ultimate line, and one of the most anti-American comics I've ever read in my life. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but let's all hope Fox news doesn't catch wind of this. Having said that, very very well executed book, and highly readable stuff -- a solid VERY GOOD from me.

WHAT IF CAPTAIN AMERICA: Ew, stinky. AWFUL. Somehow made even stinkier as being the first of 6, this month, new WHAT IF comics, rather than issue #6 of an ongoing monthly.

X-MEN UNLIMITED #12: The lead story by Stuart Moore and C.P. Smith was really terrific, if essentially a throw away. Still, best 12 pages of Wolverine I've read this year. The Puck story was pretty clumsy though, and felt more like the author running through his own issues than anything that came from the characters. VERY GOOD for the former story, EH for the latter, which probably averages out to a high OK. Still, the lead story might be worth the cover price alone.

PICK OF THE WEEK: I'll go with GOTHAM CENTRAL #38, though I suspect I'll be iffy on the ending of this arc. NAT TURNER #2 would have taken the spot if it wasn't for that damn lettering...

PICK OF THE WEAK: FNSM #3 was really really bad, but I think that PENNY ARCADE 1X 25 CENTS was the biggest waste of time and money this week. Rather than filling me with promotional love for the book, I have an active derision, bordering on actual loathing. Yow.

BOOK / TP OF THE WEEK: The easy, and possibly correct, choice of the week is the DEMO TP, and I remember solidly liking at least 8 of the 12 stories. But I do think that I should also heap some praise on CHARLES BURNS LIBRARY VOL 1 EL BORBAH SC, hooray, back in print at a reasonable price!

That's (some of) what I thought: how about you?

-B

It's All Frank Miller's Fault: Reviews of December 7th books

I still haven’t read any holiday books, I shamefully admit. I almost did, but then I got an attack of the Grinches and figured that I should wait until closer to December 25th before I start reading about Robin and Starfire kissing under the mistletoe (Not that that’s stopped me from watching White Christmas and Holiday Inn this weekend, on a Bing Crosby-athon). Luckily, I managed to stay topical and read the first book below on the little-celebrated holiday Frank Miller Loves Patterned Underwear and Making Fanboys Horny Day. ALL STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER SPECIAL EDITION #1: God, that’s a long title for what’s just a reprint of the first issue of the late-running and internet-breaking-in-half Ultimate Batman book without the inks and with Frank Miller’s script. It’s the script that makes this picking up, to be honest – Jim Lee’s pencils are a thing of wonder, true, and more impressive without Scott Williams’s overly slick inking and Alex Sinclair’s coloring, but Miller’s script is worth the entire cost of the book purely for his panel descriptions of the Vicki Vale in underwear pages. “Make them drool, Jim,” he writes, and you know that Frank knows just who his target audience is and how cynically he’s out to get them. For ghoulish peeking at the man behind the curtain value, the script pages make this Very Good. If I’m being more realistic, though, it’s a pointless cash-in on a pretty overhyped book, and really just Eh.

If they do an All Star Superman one, I’m still going to buy it, though.

BEAR #10: Am I the only person who thinks this is what you’d get if Warren Ellis had to write some random kid’s book? For those of us who remember Deadline, this is the kind of strange, funny, wrong thing that used to appear in there. Good, if given to Milk and Cheese syndrome (as in, you only really need to read one issue ever in your life because the central joke is always going to be the same).

GOTHAM CENTRAL #38: The third DC title that Greg Rucka is going to be responsible for the death of (Adventures of Superman and Wonder Woman being the other two) starts the slow slide into non-existance with a stronger issue than it’s seen for awhile, just to remind me of what how good the book was for the first year or two. Ignoring the unsubtle Spectre logo on the cover – Yeah, yeah, you’re dealing with the Jim Corrigan storyline, we get it – Rucka finally gets back to characters leading the plot, instead of the other way around, trying to bring some sense of closure to the long storyarc he’s been writing for Montoya for… well, years, now. Relatively new art team Kano and Stephano Gaudiano reach back to bring the same spacious visuals that Michael Lark gave the book back when it started, as well, almost making me forget how pointless the series has felt for the last few months. A late return to Good form, then.

HARD TIME: SEASON TWO #1: I hadn’t read the first series – sorry, season - of this series, but had heard enough good things about it to make me curious enough to pick up this first issue of the relaunch, figuring that there’d be some kind of “This is what you missed” along the way. Little did I know that the whole issue would be flashbacked set-up, telling a story of tormented geek revenge gone wrong. Only thing is, I still don’t feel like I know what the series is all about. The main character – the tormented geek in question – has some kind of superpower of nature and origin that was never explained, and if there’s any theme beyond “prison is a microcosm of society, just like high school”, I’m not sure what it is. I don’t even know why a schoolkid is in jail with adults – Shouldn’t he be in “juvie” or something? Maybe the last series explained all of this, hell, maybe this issue explained it, but my eyes had already glossed over with the cliched plot and dialogue and missed it. Steve Gerber normally does better than this, so here’s hoping that this was just a bad start and things’ll get better next issue. Right now, though, it was kind of Crap.

MARVEL TEAM-UP #15: You know what made me pick this up? The fact that Arana and X-23, two of Marvel’s most-recent hype objects, are starring in a story-arc called called “League of Losers”, which makes me think that Robert Kirkman understands (Well, that and the fact that I was really surprised by how much I enjoyed the last issue). Anyway, it turns out that this is a story that you know the end to just by how it starts, purely because there’s no way that the Avengers, X-Men and Fantastic Four are going to still be dead by the time this all finishes because of that thing called “Marvel’s love of money, from both licensing and publishing.” Knowing that, the only thing that it could have going for it is the execution, which is… Okay. Kirkman’s script is functional with the occasional nice line – again, normally at the expense of Marvel’s big guns – and Paco Medina’s art has taken on a nice Ed McGuinness meets Terry Dodson quality since I last saw him on a Superman book years ago, but everything moves at a snail’s pace past the first few pages, and only three of the eight characters on the cover actually appear in the book. So, y’know, feh.

My favorite thing in the book ends up being the work of neither Mr. Robert Kirkman nor Mr. Paco Medina, however; instead, it is the creative genius of various Mr. Marvel Licensors, who have chosen to advertise their wares within the pages of this issue. Because, really, who could resist such items as Marvel Heroes Shoes – “Experience the evolution in shoes […] The only shoes in the US that light up and talk to you,” saying things like “Hulk smash!” and “It’s clobbering time!”, apparently – or the Hulk Valentine’s Day Candy, that says “I Could Really use a HUG!”? Some people might think make some kind of comment along the lines of “God, Marvel really will license out their characters to anyone these days, won’t they?” but me, I’m thinking that any world where the Hulk is used as a romantic analogy for a frustrated lover on February 14th is a world in which I want to live.

NAT TURNER #2: Someone should give Kyle Baker some kind of “Role Model for comic creators” award. At the same time that he’s making fun of everything that DC Comics stands for in a comic published by DC, he’s also self-publishing the family sit-com of The Bakers and this, his mostly silent biography of Nat Turner, all of which are illustrated in different art styles and aimed at different audiences. And to top it all off, all of them are pretty good. Turner is probably the best of the books, with more of a focus and less of a tendency to overwork a scene than either Plastic Man or The Bakers. On the last page of the book, Baker jokingly describes this series as “his greatest epic ever” and “the most important comic book of all time,” but his beautiful artwork and understated (but unafraid to be graphic when necessary) adaptation of Turner’s autobiography easily fulfills the first of those claims and your mileage may vary, but it may potentially have a claim to the second, as well. Depending on where you stand in your love for nonfiction comics and historical epics, your enjoyment of the book may vary, but I think it’s Excellent.

SEVEN SOLDIERS: MISTER MIRACLE #2: Well, we all knew that there’d be a dog in the Seven Soldiers bunch, but who would’ve expected it to be this one? I’ve always thought that Grant Morrison was today’s Jack Kirby, and his JLA Rock of Ages sure made it seem like he got that whole New Gods thing. But this just doesn’t work, for some reason. Maybe it’s because of the shifting art teams, from last issue’s wonderful Pascul Ferry to this issue’s slightly less wonderful Billy Dallas Patton (as well as the more promising Freddie Williams III), or maybe it’s the somewhat unnecessary recasting of the Fourth World characters in “urban” disguise. For every idea that works – Mother Box’s reinvention, the creepy psychiatrist who may or may not be DeSaad, Granny Goodness as Missy Elliot as pimp last issue – everything in the book still feels unfinished and unconvincing, not to mention entirely unconnected to the rest of the Seven Soldiers mythology. Kind of depressingly Eh, especially considering that Manhattan Guardian had such a strong Kirbyesque feeling to it.

PICK OF THE WEEK, dear holiday elves, is Nat Turner. PICK OF THE WEAK is Hard Time. TRADE OF THE WEEK is a killer this week, because there are three excellent trades deserving of your cash and/or credit card donations this week. Grant Morrison’s Vimanarama (which I may have spelled incorrectly, as I did it from memory and normally I just call the book The Philip Bond One) gets a collected edition for people to read and marvel at Philip Bond’s art and Grant’s Bollywood-influenced choreography and teen love melodrama, Showcase Presents Justice League of America Volume 1 appears as if the world needed a perfect Christmas present for superhero fans who find stories where Wonder Woman has to clean the JLA secret headquarters because she’s the girl in the group, but my heart belongs to Brian Wood and Becky Cloonan’s Demo. Demo was where Wood ditched the self-consciousness of things like Channel Zero and The Couriers and started writing about more personal (and for me, more interesting) things that don’t have names, all of it illustrated by Cloonan, bouncing stylistically from issue to issue but keeping all the good parts consistant. The collection is a nice object, somewhere between “digest” size and the size of the original issues, and the decision to collect the stories and only the stories – none of the background material or even the covers from the series – lets them flow into and play against each other in ways that the original presentation didn’t allow. Me, I think the whole thing gets more optimistic as it goes on, but then, I’m weird like that. But, yeah, it’s twelve short stories for less than twenty bucks, and highly recommended for both the superhero set and those who want stories about more than people in tights punching each other. “Result,” as someone would surely say.

Next week: Infinite Crisis misses its ship date, and throws the entire DC Universe into continuity confusion. Well, even more continuity confusion. Will Superman of Earth-2 complain about why the current DC Earth suffers from deadline problems in the next issue?

Hibbs' reveiws for 11/30

IMAGE COMICS HC: Well, that's a pretty....astonishing document, isn't it? From a production stand-point, this is a pretty terrible looking book -- the chapter pages with that dot pattern straight out of WHO'S WHO IN THE DC UNIVERSE (except with rainbow colors!), stories that bleed into the gutter (The SAVAGE DRAGON story was hardest to read because of that), text pieces that are laid out so your eye doesn't track them properly, numerous typos of all kinds and stripes (Mistaking "loose" for "lose" is one of my biggest pet peeves of all), etc. and so on. Content-wise, it's weirder than weird, too -- a SAVAGE DRAGON story that makes the character a repulsive beast; a CYBERFORCE story continued into JLA/CYBERFORCE, a comic that came out, what? 18 months ago?; a SPAWN story that was the very definition of "phoned in" (besides the utter lack of anything to say that hasn't been said 27,894,356 times before, you really have to wonder how Toddy thought he could get away with a number of spot-illos, rather than doing panel-by-panel continuity -- THAT took him 4 years to draw?!?), and a perfectly adequate SHADOWHAWK story, again, predating the current comic.

There are text pieces that feel schizophrenic -- moving from celebrations of creator ownership, to Todd's listing of the Work-For-hire people he has doing spawn, and back again as though it is all the same; or that "Image timeline" that reads more like it is actually about MARVEL than Image. Or what about the back cover text that made me feel like the other Image founders are dead or something ("Well, they're dead to us, man!!!")

It is really hard to think of this as anything other than AWFUL, except that, in many ways, it is a perfectly perfect presentation of the schizophrenia of Image, which might, thus, make it a GOOD as a document.

ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #646: Loved the art, really really loved the coloring, and liked much of the beat-by-beat content (Except for the Lois bits, which don't parse very well), but WTF on the Ruin reveal? That's nearly as clumsy as "It's Vice President Pete Ross!", which was very clumsy indeed. Despite that, a very solid and high OK

AMAZING FANTASY #15: I don't think this "Spider-Man" character is going to catch on, I mean, who likes spid.... er, wait, wrong AMFAN #15! Actually, this one was an earnest and well-meant little package, but I don't see any of these c-listers sticking around at all. None of the stories felt like an entire thought, either -- I had the sense that this was written by everyone involved between subway stops as they waited to get home that night. I chuckled once or twice, and kinda grinned once, but, overall, I'll go with EH for the whole package.

BATMAN #647: Largely prolonging the story without adding anything new to it, I still thought this was a pretty solid single issue, looking at it alone and by itself. a low GOOD, I think.

DOOM PATROL #18: Let's start a poll to see how long it takes before someone retcons this away as a Crisis-related alternate earth, or a bad dream sequence or something. I say.... 72 hours! EH.

EXILES #73: the celebration of the New Universe continues, and I found myself suprised and nodding that, huh, I actually have a certain amount of vestigal affection for those guys. I also really liked the use of Proteus, and was pleased that they (at least for now) had the stones to do what they did with Calvin. This isn't art -- it is superhero silliness, but I am shockingly entertained by this book, and feel OK about giving this a (low) VERY GOOD, as long as you understand all that they're referencing.

FELL #3: No real problem loving this issue to pieces; we're three-for-three now, and I think it was EXCELLENT.

GENERATION M #1: A somehwat interesting lead, a nice "human angle" on the HOUSE OF M stuff, well written, decently drawn -- well, it may be ultimately superfluous, but I liked this issue enough to go with a low GOOD.

INCREDIBLE HULK #89: Our HULK sales have dropped into the basement lately -- I think a lot of people had a lot of hopes for the Second Coming of PAD, and when that... didn't exactly work out....decided, en masse, that they could finally walk away from the character. Sadly, not much here is going to change anyone's POV, I don't think -- Nick Fury seems wildly out of character (Kill the Ruskies! KILL!!!), and the premise of asking Banner to get the Hulk to do something makes it seem like that nobody up there has read a Hulk comic in the last 3 decades. On the low side of AWFUL, but AWFUL nonetheless.

JLA CLASSIFIED #14: Colorists should read the captions on the pages they're coloring, yes. This is pretty by-the-numbers JLA-fluff, sorry to say, and I got real bored of it about halfway through. EH.

LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #12: Graeme's review (below) is just about perfect -- this absolutely should have resolved this issue. ALso, am I the only person who doesn't see Supergirl (be it the new one, or some sort of a Power Girl-becomes one scenerio) as fitting in in this team or world at all? I'll go with an OK for this issue, but expected much more....

MARVEL HOLIDAY SPECIAL 2005: The Ultron story was charming and funny (but was about 1/4 too long -- would have been much funnier and poignant if it was chopped down), while the other two were pretty instantly forgettable. Still, who expects anything from a holiday-theme package of superhero comics? So.... OK

NEW AVENGERS #13: I thought Echo was deaf? So, how is she reading everyone's lips through that big ponderous mask, while thier heads are turned? How can she understand ANYthing Iron Man has to say? His lips never move! I also thought she was mute, too... or at least, y'know, deaf-speech, but that might just be a false reading on my part. If you put all of that aside, I suppose this was OK... but I can't put that aside at all -- IRON MAN HAS NO LIPS TO READ, man! AWFUL.

PLASTIC MAN #19: This gets a "GOOD" just for the "Shirtless Fighting!" stuff, but here's a comic aimed at an audience not reading regular DCU books, referring incessantly to DCU books. No wonder it can't find either audience. Still, that "Shirtless Fighting!" stuff was just fucking grand.

TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE #35: Worth it just for the pictures of the Darth Vader/Slave Leia wedding pictures at the back. Honestly. How fucked up can the Direct Market really be when stuff like this has found 35 issues worth of an audience? AWFUL, but in a subversively enjoyable way...

ULTIAMTE FANTASTIC FOUR #25: This seems like a non-starter of an idea to me - while it is a very clever twist (and, really, the best part is that Lester was wrong about Namor hitting on Sue's mom), there doesn't seem to be anywhere whatsoever this can possibly go. I'm also starting to get a smidge sick of the stiffness of Land's art. -- some individually pretty pictures, but there's no flow or life to it of any kind. PLus namor's hair looks fine in battle, but like complete shit in the non-fighting panels. I'll go with a very low EH.

USAGI YOJIMBO #89: An interesting pre-emptment of the "if you don't see a corpse" thing. If there was any justice in the world, this comic would be selling 100k copies a month. GOOD.

WOLVERINE #36: Lots of nothing in the first half, while the last few pages of everyone buring documents and smashing computer screens (?! Sure, that will help!) sets up... well, very little. Does anyone actually care about "the secrets behind Weapon X"? I know I sure don't. OK.

WONDER WOMAN #223: Again, Graeme has the right shape of things (below) -- two years of various buiuld-ups all seemingly thrown on the ash heap of INFINITE CRISIS. The individual content of this issue was acceptably OK (But, much like the Asgardians, or the Atlanteens, I honestly don't care about the Amazons, except in direct connection to Diana), but in the grander scope, this is AWFUL.

X-MEN #178: Surprised that G didn't touch on the Shocking Last Page Surprise where they can't apparantly even wait a full month before undoing some aspects of HOUSE OF M. Hopefully, this is a feint of some kind, but, even if it is, it is way too soon, and crosses that fine line between Clever and Stupid. This is why my X-MEN sales are at the lowest nadir they've EVER been at -- if we continue at this rate, they're going to vanish below 25 copies in another 6 months. AWFUL.

PICK OF THE WEEK goes to FELL #3 (no real surprise)

PICK OF THE WEAK is the lip-reading in NEW AVENGERS #13

BOOK/ TP OF THE WEEK probably goes to the supplemental book to the ABSOLUTE CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS HC

What did YOU think?

-B