The Savage Critic: December
18th 2002
By Brian
Hibbs
Welcome back, my friends, to the show
that never ends.
This will be the last Critic for 2002
– and a reminder to all that New Comics day next week is Thursday (the
26th), and the week after is Friday (January 3rd)
Because of the later date for the first
ship week of ’03, I’m going to declare now that the Savage Critic will
return in full the week of January 8th. It’s possible that
I’ll be able to squeeze out a “mini-Critic” (Best/Worst/TP of the week,
and the shipping list), but some of that will depend on Jeff’s post-holiday
schedule. Just don’t cry if it doesn’t happen, is all I’m saying.
Either way, I hope all of you loyal
readers are having a good holiday season, and that your New Year proves
bright.
Now, with the kindness out of the way,
it’s time to be bitter, cynical, and mean!
ALTERCATIONS GN VO 1 #1: David Yurkovich
is an interesting creator – his art is striking, and he’s been doing
OGNs before most people ever heard the term. I always make a point of
carrying his work, but it really never seems to sell. I tend to think
it is because as pretty as his work can be, it’s really not very deep
or insightful. This “history of super-hero activity” tries to paint
some human emotions over the fight scenes, but it all seems rather shallow
and cursory to me – I don’t particularly care about any of these characters,
so why would I care if they’re jealous, or abused, or whatever. For
an $8.95 cover, I can’t muster much more than an Eh.
AUTHORITY SCORCHED EARTH: A fairly
large misstep in the handling of the Authority “brand”, if you ask me
– despite all of the loving buzz, I’ve never really believed that many
people gave a toss about the Authority itself. Rather, it was from 1)
the talent involved, and 2) going places where superhero comics couldn’t
or wouldn’t otherwise go. And this has neither. Lots of crazy and stupid
destruction from a source that simply doesn’t ring true, the characters
are simply shadows of themselves herein. Mm, and San
Francisco woulda let Jack go
splat for calling her “Frisco”. She can be treacherous like that. Add
that to the total-Deux of an ending, and I have to give this one an
Awful.
AUTOMATIC KAFKA #6: About the closest
to a soft-core porn comic that DC has ever published. I’m quite sure
it has some sort of sort of telling socio-something or else subtext
that makes it wise and witty, but mostly it’s just two “superheroes”
fucking. I love Ash’s art though, so that can bounce it up to an Eh
all by itself.
BATGIRL YEAR ONE #1: There’s a few
characters/concepts that I have a really damn hard time being objective
about – I think it’s important that we “Critics” (I’m not really a real
one... I’m mostly just a smart-ass) make sure we state these biases
way up front. And I’ve got a “thing” for Batgirl. Blame Yvonne Craig,
if you have to – I had far too many adolescent fantasy sessions picturing
the middle of a Craig/Julie Newmar sandwich. Oddly enough, I don’t have
any real feelings for the character of Catwoman. But this is all too
much information, isn’t it? Anyway, I’m, as I say, biased in favor to
like this, and like it I did. You decide if this opinion is valid. Very
Good.
BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS
36: Thank god that stoopid fucking Bane storyline is done, ending the
only way it could have. Eh.
BIRDS OF PREY #50: DC biffed this one
by having Terry Moore’s name on the cover when this is where Gilbert
Hernandez starts. I quite imagine that for a few of you, that’s big
news. Trouble is, he’s not all that much of a mainstream-style writer,
and there are some annoying pacing/content problems that marred the
read for me. Like that 2-page explosion that starts the book off. What
a waste of real-estate. I’m also sad that Amanda Conner didn’t stay
on the book. A weak Eh, I’m afraid.
CEREBUS #285: There’s not a chance
I’m gong to read all that little text... but the art this issue was
truly exceptional. That first page merging Woody Allen and Robert Crumb
was an astonishing piece. I also quite liked this month’s essay preceeding
the Gene Day Prize winner. Despite the fact I didn’t actually, y’know,
read this issue, I’m still gonna go with a “Good” because I spent
more time with this than I did with, say, The Authority.
FABLES #8: It’s “all middle”, but it’s
good engaging story-telling. Good.
FOREVER MAELSTROM #2: Like I said for
#1, I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why this was green-lit.
Neither can other Direct Market retailers, apparently – it had pre-orders
in the national market just a few copies more than Scooby Doo.
We still haven’t sold a single copy, and I don’t imagine we’re going
to anytime soon. Crap.
GLOOM COOKIE MONSTERS CHRISTMAS COLOR
SPECIAL: Pretty, and twisted, but I’m not one for Christmas poems, myself.
Eh.
HAWAIIAN DICK #1: You’ve got to look
past an all too easy coincidence or two, but the art was pretty, and
the story crisp, and I liked this quite a bit. Good.
HELLBLAZER SPECIAL LADY CONSTANTINE
#1: I went into this with no real expectation of it being much of anything
– sad to say most Vertigo spin-offs are pretty mediocre at best – but
this one really buttered my bread. Very nice, crisp art; strong story-telling,
and wholly compelling characters. If I have one quibble, it is the use
of the “Hellraiser” box at the start... I’m not sure if they thought
they were being funny or something, but it strikes me that it’s quite
possibly legally actionable, that. Still, Very Good.
INCREDIBLE HULK #48: It’s the story
that would not die. And there’s no Hulk in it. I can’t imagine this
being any less interesting, really, and, according to my cycle sheets,
and all of the customer’s abandoning the title, neither can you. Awful.
JSA #43: This could have been interesting,
if they didn’t just do Ancient Egypt a few issues back... and if the
Hawkgirl scenes didn’t seem weirdly out of place here rather than in
Hawkman where they more properly belonged. OK.
LIBERTY MEADOWS #29: Some books I just
don’t know what to say each month – Frank Cho’s art is lovely as always,
the jokes are hit and miss as always, so give it a Good as always.
LUCIFER #33: Nice solid self-contained
issue. It’s funny how a comic with Satan as the protagonist ends up
often being the most moral comic DC publishes each month. Very Good
LURID #2: I quite liked the first issue,
so I was surprised how little I took to this one – maybe it was the
repeat of the narrative in the second half, maybe it was that, really,
nothing happens, and there’s no new insights to any of the characters.
Big limp Eh.
NAUGHTY BITS #37: Here’s another title
that really hasn’t showed any forward movement over the last decade,
yet I still find Roberta Gregory’s observation about being a modern
single woman to be just as compelling now as I did then. Very Good.
NEW X-MEN #135: I won’t lie – I was
completely lost at first here. “Why is dressing like Charlie Brown ‘provocative’?”
Then, eventually, Morrison reminded us. This, like far too many Marvel
books these days, could use an editor to keep the clarity higher...
but still, it’s nice to see this year’s Frank Quitely arc. Good.
NODWICK #18: I found this fairy-tale
centered issue to be forced and unfunny, despite the wonderful cartooning.
Eh.
PS238 #0: Mostly reprinting the backup
stories that have run in numerous Dork Storm books – Aaron William’s
take on a school for super-hero kids is generally pretty funny because
he’s not reaching as hard as he is one book up on Nodwick. He’s
a very talented cartoonist, and I’ll give this one a Good.
RED STAR ANNUAL #1: Lotsa running and
kicking and ‘splodin’, and this worked for me much better than the main
book usually does, despite the simple platitudes of war contained here.
I was a little worried when the first part of the book had 3 consecutive
design-heavy running-while-a-clock-ticks-down pages, but they quickly
went to having an actual story and everything settled down. First issue
of Red Star I’ve genuinely liked – the restart at CGE might be really
good for this book IF they can manage to get it out on time (which seems
like a highly dubious prospect, if you ask me) Good
REID FLEMING/FLAMING CARROT CROSSOVER
#1: It has Christopher Walken and his pet monkey eating rabbit poop
before Reid and the Carrot go off to fight Vampire Lassie. How could
you not like this comic? Very Good
REX MUNDI #1: I thought the “#0” was
pretty uneven, but this “real” first issue was solid and gripping and
introduced characters and the world very well. Good.
RISING STARS #21: Solidly told, though
I still don’t really see how this will all be adequately resolved in
just 3 more issues. Nor, in fact, if I’ll still care in 2004 when it
finally comes out. Still, Good.
ROBIN #109: Jon Lewis just doesn’t
have the trick down in juggling plotlines – he constantly seems to be
cutting back and forth between different stories that don’t add up to
a greater whole. Real shame, because his handling of Tim and Steph reads
pretty well. OK
ROBOTECH #1: Much much better than
the #0 – I actually had a sense of a story and who some of the characters
were. Still, ultimately it’s another nostalgia book, and I don’t think
I’ll continue to read this. Eh.
SHANG CHI MASTER OF KUNG FU #4: I groaned
out loud when the one group of mercenaries said something like “Oh,
we left all of our equipment up there, and the third group of enemies
is now using it against us” Delightful art, but it’s padded more than
a 12 year old’s bra. Eh
SOLDIER X #6: Meandering and snoozy.
Awful
SPIDER-MAN BLUE #5: How DOES nerdy
ol’ Peter get two girls dripping off of him? This functions well as
a tribute to “classic” Marvel while at the same time being a solid story
on it’s own. Very Good
SPIDER-MAN PETER PARKER #51: Maybe,
if we’re lucky, they’ll eventually make each and every member of Spidey’s
rogues gallery into a joke. That’ll be a fine, fine day. Zeb Wells shows
he has an adequate grasp on “funny”, but not an exceptional one – I
actually thought the strongest scene was the Peter and May one. The
art, however, was ugly and unclear, forcing me to go down to Awful
STRAY BULLETS #28: There’s a certain
level of preposterous coincidence I’m willing to overlook from Dave
Lapham. Not sure why. Maybe because his cartooning is so confident and
focused. I’m really enjoying the hell out of this, but I can’t tell
you “why” exactly (Which is why Jeff Lester is the better “critic” of
the two of us) – Very Good
SUPERGIRL #77: Since the book is cancelled
in 3 more issues, there’s basically no more reason to read this and
see how it all turns out, y’know? Which is a damn shame because the
“buzz” on this book is growing hugely, and with a quick reprint of #75
and 76 this could have been posting growing numbers. Ah well. Anyway,
I did read it, and it was good clean fun. OK
SUPERMAN THE MAN OF STEEL #133: Gods
below, this storyline bites ass. Please, someone tell me how Lucifer
can be a more morally centered book than a Superman title? Stock Manager
Gary told me he really liked it: “It reminded me of Superman III!”
And that, my friends, is every reason why I think this was Crap
TECH JACKET #2: It’s “Hoo Hah!” comics
without the embarrassing DeFalco “Hoo Hah!” – in other words light and
fun, but ultimately forgettable. OK
TRUTH #2: I’m actually dreading this
review, because I’m not sure I’m really qualified as a white middle
class man to comment on racism. I was raised by semi-hippy parents,
who tried to teach me that –isms were bad. And, by and large, I think
I’ve led a –istless life. Except for the French... I just don’t care
for the majority of French people I’ve met. The thing is, I don’t know
how things REALLY were in the 1940s... all I have is the media’s portrayals
of the time period which I have to assume are about as accurate as the
media’s portrayals of late 20th century life – that is, not
accurate at all. But still, I have a really, really hard time buying
into “every single white person in the 1940s is hateful and abusive
to blacks.” I guess I don’t believe that one generation is particularly
better or worse than the one ahead or behind it, and while I see racism
in some people around me, it seems to me that it is the minority who
feel and act that way, not the 100% majority of white folks in this
issue. My parents, after all, were children of the 40s, and yet they
raised me to abhor –ism. So, basically, I don’t buy this set up, and,
frankly, find it just as racist as what it seems to be trying to decry.
However, trying to match creator opinion to the content of the work
they create is often a fool’s game, so let’s assume that they’re being
heavy-handed in trying to deal with a complex situation.
See, all of this is making
me feel mealy-mouthed. *sigh*
I suppose that maybe, possibly,
I could have bought the concept if Kyle Baker’s art wasn’t so slap-dash
and phoned in. And I’m a god-damn huge fan of Baker because he’s long
been one of the best cartoonists of my generation. But, damn, it sure
seems like he drew this entire issue in less than 3 days. And took part
of an afternoon to color it. What’s someone who is picking this up for
the first time and who has never read Why I Hate Saturn going
to think?
I have to give this book
not only a “Crap” rating, but the pan of the week.
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #33: I know I
was sure waiting for “Ultimate Venom” (not) – Bendis seems to have found
an adequate way to create Spidey’s reflection, but that’s a huge damn
coincidence that I’m not sure will work in the long term. The first
issue of USM that I was less than thrilled by: OK
ULTIMATE X-MEN #26: Lotsa back story
to Ultimate War crammed into 22 pages, that ultimately adds up
to 22 wasted pages. *shrug* Continuity can be friend or foe, and I’m
afraid Millar has made it “foe” for this arc. Eh
VAMPIRELLA #15: First issue I’ve read
in a few months – not even sure why I dipped my feet back in. Not quite
as slimily prurient as usual, and the art was really lovely, so I can
give this an OK
WARREN ELLIS SCARS #1: I’ve really
been hating Ellis’ Avatar work – it’s felt phoned in to me, and without
any real heart. This one, however, reversed that trend – I liked the
protagonist, and understood his position well enough. OK
WEAPON X #4: Again, despicable people
doing despicable things to one another. This is my last issue of this
immoral title. Crap
Y THE LAST MAN #6: Yeah, solid enough,
but it still feels to me like it’s struggling for a real direction or
theme despite all of the wonderful post-apocalypse stories that could
be told in this set up. A high OK
For Sake
of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got
in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!).
Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to
read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like most of the Archies;
3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno
[oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on
the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before,
and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading
anymore. You decide which is which.
BLACK SUN #4
BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #74
CRUX #21
ELIZABETH BATHORY #2
FANTASTIC STORIES #3
JUGHEAD WITH ARCHIE DIGEST #180
LUFTWAFFE 1946 #4
PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #72
POWERPUFF GIRLS #33
ROUTE 666 #7
SCION #31
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #7
TERRY MOORES PARADISE TOO #11
THREE DAYS IN EUROPE #2
TRANSFORMERS ARMADA #5
WONDER WOMAN ANNUAL 1967 #1
And, for
even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines,
and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any
of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt
to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since
I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
2000 AD #1318
2000 AD #1319
ANIMERICA JANUARY 2003 VOL 11#1
AP HOW TO DRAW MANGA COMPILATION VOL 3 TP
BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL BEASTS TP
CINEFEX #92
GIANT ROBOT #27
HYSTERIA IN REMISSION COMIX &DRAWINGS OF ROBERT WILLIAMS
INNOCENT IMAGES HC
JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE VOL 4 #18
KODT BUNDLE OF TROUBLE VOL 10
KODT TALES FROM VAULT VOL 4
LONDONS DARK GN NEW PTG
METAL HURLANT #3
NEW X-MEN 3 NEW WORLDS TP
ROGUE TROOPER VOL 1 GN FUTUREWAR
SWAMP THING DARK GENESIS TP NEW EDITION
THE ARK BY AZPIRI HC
TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN MAGAZINE #16
TRANSFORMERS GENERATION ONE VOL 1 TP
WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE ULTIMATE BABES CVR #137
X 1999 VOL 9 REQUIEM TP
Y THE LAST MAN UNMANNED VOL 1TP
This Week’s TP recommendation is:
Small week for trades (the last week before Christmas, too... makes
me want to fucking shoot the scheduling department of every publisher,
it does). I think I’ll give my nod to the wonderfully funny Knights
of the Dinner Table Bundle of Trouble V10 – this is a really
strong period for the book. The Tales From the Vault is good
too, but it mostly just reprints the webstrips, which you can read for
free 3 times a week at http://www.kenzerco.com/periodicals/kodt/kodtonline_current.php
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