The Savage Critic: December 12th, 2001 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

Sorry for being a little late this week – Christmas business picking up means I get a little more squeezed for time. Just a first warning for you, too: The weeks of 12/24 and 12/31 I won’t be doing reviews. Hey, I’m allowed to have Christmas and New Year’s off, aren’t I? Besides, the books come on Friday both of those weeks.

It is also a real shame to get a week of comics like this one after last week’s record-breaking quality. I was hard pressed to find... well, you’ll see.

Anyway, let’s go!

ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #599: Structurally, this didn’t work for me – The time differential between the sub going down, and Clark visiting the captain seemed like minutes. Also, the page after page of farmer talk... the whole time I was reading it I kept thinking "No, but Clark is a farmer too," but by the time he said something, it seemed too late in the narrative. A noble try, but just not very good. Eh.

AZRAEL AGENT OF THE BAT #85: It seems like I only read every 3^rd or 4^th issue of Azrael – usually the ones involved in a crossover or a stunt. Or, to put it another way: the ones that should have the most of a point, as they’ll be bringing in new readers. Yet, it always leaves me colder than ice. Good for Denny that his exit contract (apparently) obligated DC to keep a book alive for him – but not very good for readers. The absolute weakest link in the Batman offices. Awful.

BLACK HOLE #9: Once upon a time, I might have said that Black Hole was the creepiest and most horrific comic being published. Claustrophobic, awkward, slightly on-edge, yet out-of-skew, it perfectly captured adolescence and the confusion and alienation it brings. But somehow BH has lost it. It may well be the "Velvet Glove" Syndrome (Creator ends up getting bored with a story he started far too many years ago) – or it may just be Burns has aged too much to capture those feeling any more. But in any case, huge disappointment from me with this issue. Only the cover got that feeling across. OK

BLACK PANTHER #39: ‘Nuff said strikes... and strikes out. It may well that Priest just CAN’T tell a silent story; or it might be that they just picked the wrong month for where the BP storyline was... but this didn’t work at all. Not only did Priest seem a little weak on the whole "no words" concept (using a book to convey plot information is cheating); but the storytelling was confused, and downright poor in places. Awful.

CABLE #100: The lead story was OK, if a little too convenient. (I don’t like introducing new powers to solve a plot point) The ‘nuff Said silent backup didn’t make ANY sense if you didn’t read BOTH the plot at the back, as well as the series bible pitch. Still, the inclusion of that was pretty interesting. Eh.

CEREBUS #273: Like always: it will probably read better in book form. The climbing stairs in the dark stuff was funny enough... but it seemed like padding to me. 27 issues to go, can Dave wrap it all up satisfactorily? OK.

DEADMAN #1: Wow, and I thought the Dead Again mini-series was bad! I can’t imagine there is an audience for this, anywhere. Awful.

DEEP FRIED #4: I guess every humor comic is obligated to do the "Superhero" issue once. Didn’t add a thing to the "genre" though. I quite liked the wrapup to Weapon Brown, though. OK.

DETECTIVE COMICS #765: I really adore Rick Burchett’s art. Clean, cartoony, yet smart clever storytelling. HE should be doing a ‘nuff Said book. Very solid story, though I’m not positive how she came to THAT conclusion on the last page based on what was presented in the issue. Seemed like it might have been a page or two short, actually. The Josie Mac backup continues to grow on me, as well. Good.

ELECTRIC GIRL #8: This comic is very very cute and charming. Not much weight to it, but cute and charming go a long way. Good.

ELEKTRA #5: Murky colors, confusing storytelling, and a phoned in script. I absolutely didn’t buy the end one tiny bit. Eh.

FAUST LOVE OF DAMNED ACT TWELVE: How many years has it been? A few too many, that’s for sure... who even cares any longer at this point? And anyway, I though 12 was supposed to be the last part. Yikes, there’s more! Awful.

FOUR WOMEN #3: Fucked up and creepy – even more so than Black Hole. I don’t like it, but I respect Kieth’s pushing himself as a creator. OK.

FURY #4: Whatever. Eh.

GIRL GENIUS #5: The sepia flashbacks were great... the main story was OK.

GREEN LANTERN #145: No. Judd writes people GREAT. Judd writes cosmic poorly. This cosmic crap can’t end fast enough to suit me. Awful.

GREYSHIRT INDIGO SUNSET #3: Solid solid craftsmanship, in a batch of stories that I don’t care much about. OK.

GRIP THE STRANGE WORLD OF MEN#2: I have no idea what’s going on, but yet I like it. OK.

HARLEY QUINN #15: Another book that I just don’t see why it is being published. The second weakest link in the Bat-offices. Eh.

HATE ANNUAL #2: I thought it felt like more comics-to-text, while Lester said he thought just the opposite. Weird. Repackaging suck.com articles is kinda a dumb thing to do when you can read them for free, and formatted properly on your computer, but I guess no one really complained to Pete last time. At least this batch of articles was somewhat better written than the first batch. I quite liked the Miss America one, in fact. The Lovey story was excellent; the Buddy story was fine... if a little overwhelmingly dense. There’s a huge part of me that wishes Bagge would go bimonthly again with comics. Good.

HAUNTED #1: I know I’ve said this before, but what the fuck is the point of signing Peter David (or anyone with a "name", for that matter) to do work for you, then not putting their names on the cover? Are the folks at Chaos that stupid? Apparently so. Also, what the hell was up with that white-on-black Sandman style lettering throughout the issue? Was it just an editorial slipup? It made a certain amount of sense in the first few pages, but once the character gets back to her body, it is just jarring. Hey, and why does it seem like artists are all starting to imitate Greg Capullo? He’s not BAD or anything, but it is not a style (distorted panels, big round heads) that I find particularly appealing. Anyway, the comic was OK

HUNTER THE AGE OF MAGIC #6: That was fine, but I saw the walkman thing coming a mile away. Good.

IMPULSE #81: More published-for-contractual-reasons comics (in this case to flesh out the "kids" line for advertisers) – thing is, if I was a kid, I think I’d hate this. As an adult, I think it is purely mediocre. Eh.

IRON MAN #49: And the Frank Tieri run ends with a huge whimper. Y’know, "daring" people to do silent comics only works if they have the actual talent to pull it off. When they don’t, all it shows is how barely competent the creators really are. If there is a more pedestrian artist with incomprehensible storytelling skills (compare the script at the back with the finished product – he ignored most of the directions) in this week’s books, I don’t know who it could be. A complete waste of two-and-a-quarter, and a big pile of crap.

JUSTICE LEAGUE ADVENTURES #2: Nothing wrong with this, nothing great. Eh

KILLER PRINCESSES #1: Gail Simone’s ‘net columns are HYSTERICAL. Her comics are just OK. Too damn bad. Lea’s art... well, not my thing, I guess. Looks rushed out to me. Eh.

NIGHTWING #64: Another mediocre Capullo-inspired artist. Like I said a few reviews up, I just don’t get it. Cute premise, workmanlike presentation. Eh.

PETRA ETCETERA #3: Cute slice-o’-life stuff – appealing art and clear consistent storytelling. Your store probably doesn’t carry this. But they almost certainly should. Good.

PUNISHER #7: If we waited long enough, I knew we’d get at least one good ‘nuff Said comic. And that’s because Steve Dillon knows how to, y’know, tell a story and stuff. Though, for the life of me, I have NO idea what the last two pages were about. Other than that, the first true success of the ‘nuff Said dare. Heh, and check out Steve’s "script" at the back of the issue. That alone was funnier than all 22 pages of Killer Princesses put together! Very Good.

SAM AND TWITCH #22: Todd is actually improving as a writer – this was clean and understandable, and, despite the too-many-months delay (a story summary page would have helped), a solid read. Good.

SOJOURN #6: Sure, it is super generic Fantasy... but it is well done super generic fantasy, at least. Good.

STAR WARS TALES #10: Garth’s lead story was... OK, I guess. The punchline was a bit obvious, though. The rest of the issue? I can’t even remember, and I just read it two days ago. Eh.

STRANGERS IN PARADISE VOL III#45: Back on track after the "dallas" issues. In fact, probably the strongest issue of SiP in a year or more. Very Good.

SUICIDE SQUAD #4: It is weird how much better Russ Heath’s art looks on newsprint. He’s really quite talented. Giffen though... he needs a stronger and more authoritative editor. 18 pages of flashback that have NOTHING to do with the trigger for that flashback is crummy plotting, and someone needed to call him on it. Just for the Heath artwork: OK

TEKKEN FOREVER #1: "Forever"? It is a four-issue mini-series. After reading this first one, that’s probably 3 ¾ issues too many. Awful.

THE LAB #1: Cute, I suppose, and some decent enough computer art, but it doesn’t add up to much. A kid would probably find it funny enough. Eh.

TROGLODYTES #1: Oog & Blik are interesting publishers – lots of interesting silent euro-comics that completely and utterly put ‘nuff Said to shame (they also published the Q GN down below in the book section). I don’t particularly LIKE the contents of any of them, but the packaging, formats, and attempts to do worldwide comics is a noble one. Troglodytes suffers from being a bit too long, and having a fairly numbing sameness. OK

VOX #4: I was on the fence about this – boy can certainly draw, and he’s got a good basic grasp of storytelling.... but this issue makes me think he really doesn’t have anything to SAY right now. Give him a couple of years in honing his writing skills, and he might be a talent to watch. Right now, though, this is painfully shallow. Eh.

WITCHBLADE #52: Ow, I hadn’t read a Witchblade comic in months, and now I remember why. Awful.

X-FORCE #122: Wow! I’ve been liking this book a lot already, but this issue really hit it out of the ballpark. Each character got solid screentime, and a good sense of what made them tick, and the ending was really a surprise, but not a left-field one. I wish this was the last comic I was reviewing, so I could end on a high note. Excellent.

X-TREME X-MEN #8: You gotta give Claremont points for admitting, in the script, that this ‘nuff Said stuff doesn’t play to his strengths. There’s too much happening here that NEEDS words to explain. If this was the first issue you picked up, you would have NO (zero, zilch, zip) idea of what is going on, or who these people are, or what they’re doing. Even having read the first 7 issues, I couldn’t follow it. Comics are words AND pictures, folks – and just because there are a dozen or so people who CAN pull off a comics story without the words doesn’t mean that everyone can. In fact, as we’ve seen the last two weeks, most people can’t. On every possible level, this comic was a failure. Awful.

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore.

100 GREATEST MARVELS COUNTDOWN #2
BANISHED KNIGHTS ALVIN LEE CVR #1
BASTARD WIZARD #1
BETTY #107
BETTY & VERONICA DIGEST #126
CHORIZO #1
DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS #1
DISCIPWHEEL OF FORTUNE
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS IN SHADOW OF DRAGONS #5
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS TEMPESTSGATE #1
F5 ORIGIN
GUTSMAN COMICS #2
GUTSMAN COMICS #3
GUTSMAN COMICS #4
GUTSMAN COMICS #5
JUGHEAD #141
JUGHEADS DOUBLE DIGEST #82
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE ILLUSTRATED #10
LITTLE RED HOT BOUND SIGNED INCENTIVE
MARVEL POSTER BOOK WINTER 2001
MEANWHILE #4
NEGATION #1
OH MY GODDESS PART XI #3 MYSTERY CHILD PART 1
PLANET OF THE APES #4
RANMA 1/2 PART 10 #9
SCOOBY-DOO #55
SIGIL #19
STAR WARS JEDI QUEST #4
SUPER MANGA BLAST #18
TENTH RESURRECTED CVR A #3

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, and magazines that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

2000 AD #1267
2000 AD #1268
ACTION FIGURE NEWS AND TOY REVIEW #110
ANIMERICA EXTRA VOL 5 #1
BIG HOAX HC
BIRTHDAY RIOTS HC
BLUE MONDAY ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS TP
BONDAGE FANTASIA #2
CINESCAPE SPECIAL JANUARY 2002
CONTEST OF CHAMPIONS II TP
D R & QUINCH COMPLETE GN
FARSCAPE NEWSTAND ED #4
FARSCAPE SERIES 2 SPECIAL EDITION ACTION FIGURES
FLIRT GN
FORTEAN TIMES #153
FRENCH KISS #1
GAUNTLET #22
HELLBOY THE BONES OF GIANTS ILLUSTRATED NOVEL
INU YASHA VOL 10 TP
JSA SOLOMON GRUNDY DELUXE ACTION FIGURE
JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE VOL 4 #5
JUDGMENTS GN
MAD MAGAZINE #413
MASAMUNE SHIROW 2002 CALENDARDARK HORSE ED
MASTERS DREAM BOOK #1
MF TP
OTTO PORFIRI DRAMA ON THE CLIFF TP
PULP VOL 6 #1
Q TPB
SCHIZOPHRENIA
SHE DOM THE AWAKENING OF CHIARA ROSENBERG
SMALLVILLE PVC SET
STORYTIME
STRANGER KISSES TP
TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #93
TOYFARE GI JOE CVR #54
TROSPER HC
VIDEO NOIRE TP
VIDEO WATCHDOG #78
X-MEN POPTOPIA TP

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Hrm.... not much is leaping out at me. I’ll give the borderline recommendation to The Complete DR and Quinch... but after rereading it... well, except for the Hollywood story, this isn’t ANYwhere near as good as I recalled it being. The Hollywood story, however, is superb. "Something Something Oranges Something". Heehee.

Average Rating for the Week: 41 books "reviewed" for an average rating of 3.46 (out of a possible 7.00)

Pick of the Week: X-Force #122. Superb job.

Pick of the Weak: Iron Man #49. Shameful, absolutely shameful.