The Savage Critic: November 30, 2001 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

No real preamble this week – I’m running behind on writing this (as usual!) – so shall we get right to it? Yes?

Then we shall.

ACTION COMICS #785: A clever enough idea on paper, this Bizarro story runs backwards. That is the first page is the last page. It took me 6 or 7 pages to figure this out. I am not sure if this is a failure of me as a reader, or of the script (you’d think something that major would be immediately obvious, wouldn’t you?) – but since I am doing the reviews, let’s call it their failure. Either way, it made my head hurt, so I call it a failed experiment. Awful.

AGE OF BRONZE #12: Eric Shanower’s epic of the Trojan War is one of the best comics out on the stands. Man, those battle scenes alone are worth the price of admission. Absolutely top-notch and excellent.

ANGEL AND THE APE #4: "Who done it? Who cares!" proclaims the cover. The latter statement would work as a general review of the series. Eh.

AVENGERS #48: BiggerLouderFasterMore. Not very much fun, though. Kieron Dwyer’s first issue as penciller, and I don’t think he’s ever looked better here, though -- Rick Remender’s inks really look good. Still, I can’t muster any real enthusiasm. Eh.

BART SIMPSON COMICS #6: The Invisibility story was kinda fun, but the rest? Eh.

BATMAN #597: I haven’t bought this Zeiss guy as a threat yet, so I wasn’t much enthralled by the end of his story arc. Eh.

BATMAN GOTHAM ADVENTURES #44: Solid issue that gets to the core of the modern Batman much better than any Batman Adventures comic in a good long time. Not that it has much relationship to what goes on in BA comics in general. Still, good solid issue. Good.

BATMAN THE ANKH #1: God-damn, that’s some spiffy art! Solid enough script too (although I’ve read this story before) – but the art is the absolute attraction. Very Good.

BATTLE POPE PRESENTS ST MICHAEL #3: Yah, the joke IS done... and so am I. Eh.

BLOODSTONE #2: Unappealing characters that try way way too hard to be funny. Awful.

BROTHERHOOD #6: It is not hard to see why this is getting cancelled, really. Awful

CAPTAIN MARVEL #25: Angst and explosions. I liked these characters better back on earth. Eh.

CATWOMAN #1: Very solid and promising debut. LOVE that Darwyn Cooke art, too. Very Good.

CODENAME KNOCKOUT #7: That was alright, I suppose... but it's sure taking a long time for the plot to get where it is going. Eh.

CROSSGEN CHRONICLES #5: Not Perez’s best job, but even average Perez is good art. Mediocre story, but, it is a CrossGen book, so that kinda goes without saying, don’t it? OK

DEADPOOL AGENT OF WEAPON X #4: I liked the hopping away scene, but otherwise this was pretty much by-the-numbers stuff. Eh.

DEFENDERS #11: Again, a clever framing device for the story, where the Defenders are discussing their plans in caption in the past, while the visuals are those plans in action in the present. But it doesn’t help when I just don’t care about Atlantis in either DC or Marvel versions. OK.

FINDER #24: I’m really unclear on what is going on, but this issue has some of the creepiest art I’ve seen in a while. Good.

FLASH #180: New (and rather illogical) Rogue. Decent enough moral quandary. This is still one of the most consistent and entertaining DCU books, even if I was under-whelmed by this specific issue. OK.

HELLBLAZER #168: That was some fucked up shit. OK

ICEMAN #2: Foe-Dog? WTF kinda name is that? Some damn bizarre art choices, too – check that page where Bobby and the old man are talking in his apartment – not a single panel on that page is framed in any kind of a rational way. Tight close up of the side of Bobby’s head, but you can’t see his face while he is talking? That’s just goofy. Plus, this whole thing is Standard Comic Plot #241. Awful.

JIST WITH KEVIN MAGUIRE CREATING THE FLASH: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. "Suddenly a green fog appears!" God DAMN, me and Sue kept cracking up about that at the store ALL day yesterday. I also love how the leader of the super-secret organization named "STEALTH" drives around in cars with "STLH-4" as a license plate. Normally, I’d give such a wicked poor job a "crap" rating, but we laughed so hard, I’ll bump it up a few notches for sheer camp value. Fab art from Maguire, though... and the Sergio Aragones backup was... unexpected. OK.

JLA #60: Cute idea. Needs a better cover though, because it just looks stupid. OK.

JLA RIDDLE OF THE BEAST HC: Some very nice painted art (as well as some pretty poor examples) – but putting the JLA in a fantasy warring-kingdom setting is pretty played. No way should this have been a HC. In fact, the format drops the review way down (for $30, I expect a LOT more). Awful.

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #61: Every month I tell you how funny this is, and every month you don’t listen to me. Bastards. Very Good.

LEGION #2: Hey, where’d the plot go? 22 pages of fight scenes is all they can manage for issue #2? Sux. Eh.

NEW X-MEN #119: TWO different artists, and NEITHER of them can keep a schedule? Yeesh. Not all that much happens, but I’m enjoying the Angel subplot well enough. Still, the continually changing art teams really hurts the book. OK

NIGHTCRAWLER #1: "Hey, I know, let’s do a series about Nightcrawler, and then not have him appear as Nightcrawler for most of the issue!" Hellllo? Does ANYone think "Kurt as a priest" is a good idea? How about even a decent idea? Awful.

OUT THERE #6: Not at all what I expected, which I suppose is good... but it sorta seems to me that the conclusion of this issue basically nullified the point of the first six issues – why not just start the story with where they’ll be at the beginning of issue #7? I would be an evil evil evil editor, I would. Eh.

PARADISE X THE HERALDS #2: Marking time for a paycheck on a pointless spinoff/lead-in. Awful.

RAIL: Huh. When I ordered a Dave Dorman comic, I kinda expected it to be painted, since that’s what Dorman is known for. Instead, it is pen and ink, and looks (and reads) a lot like any issue of Heavy Metal. Which is not to say it is bad or anything... just not at all what I expected or wanted. Eh.

RUSE #2: I’m fairly confused about some of the characters motivations, and already the lead (Archer is his name? I forget) is beginning to grate on me, but this is definitely CrossGen’s best book. OK. (heh)

SANDMAN PRESENTS THE CORINTHIAN #2: I’m not rooting for ANY of these characters. I hope they all die, in fact. Awful.

SPAWN #113: I REALLY need to stop reading this. Awful.

SPIDER-MAN TANGLED WEB #8 GENTLEMENS AGREEMENT: Clearer in intent than the first part of the story, but the ending of next issue already seems obvious to me. Eh.

SUPERMAN & BATMAN GENERATIONSII #4: Compared to the first series.... Yuck. That whole last chapter was not only awful, but doesn’t it contradict the ending of the first series? Yuck, like I said. Awful.

TALES OF SHOCK CITY: Take old Hernandez brother Mister X stories, and remove EVERY trace of Mister X from them. Neat trick, and it works surprisingly well. OK

VAMPIRELLA #4: The painted art is nice, but I’m pretty embarrassed to be seen reading this. Eh.

WOLVERINE #170: Will someone tell me how the fuck Frank Tieri is allowed to write comics? Does he have a roll of compromising pictures from Quesada or something? Awful.

X-MEN EVOLUTION #1: I haven’t seen the cartoon, but this comic makes me want to never ever ever see it. Awful.

X-MEN MILLENIAL VISIONS 2001: What is the point of this? Why are the writing and art credits inconsistently applied? Major league stink bomb. Oh, and, note to Diamond’s order entry division? "Millennial" has TWO "n"s. (issue is already back at the store, so I can’t check to see if Marvel spelled it wrong) Crap.

X-TREME X-MEN SAVAGE LAND #3: Just when you think Claremont can’t get any worse, he goes and surprises you and does. Awful.

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore.

10TH MUSE ROGER CRUZ CVR #7
AKIKO #46
ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #130
AVENGELYNE SHI RIO COVER #1/2
BAD KITTY RELOADED #2
BETTY & VERONICA #169
BLACK PLAGUE #2
BTVS #39
CARTOON CARTOONS #8
CEREBUS #272
CERES CELESTIAL LEGEND #6
COOL CAT STUDIO #1
CREECH OUT FOR BLOOD #3
EAGLE VOL 22 FATHER & SON
FUTABAKUN CHANGE VOL 7 #4
HELDEN #3
INU YASHA PART 6 #7
KISSING CHAOS #4
LITERARY GRAFFITI #1
MAC AFRO #1
MAGIC PICKLE #3
MERIDIAN #18
MISPLACED #2
MONSTER HIGH #2
POISON ELVES #68
SEVENTH SEA #1 ABSOLUTION
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #104
STAR WARS #36
TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE#11
US WAR MACHINE #12
VAMPIRE PRINCESS YUI VOL 3 #4

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, and magazines that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

100 BULLETS VOL 3 HANG UP ON THE HANG LOW TP
2000 AD #1265
2000 AD #1266
ALIEN LEGION FORCE NOMAD TP
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN TP
BLAB VOL 12
CINEFANTASTIQUE VOLUME 33 #6
ELEKTRA STATUE
EROS GN 47 YOUNG WITCHES 3
HEAVY METAL JANUARY 2002
JUXTAPOZ JAN FEB 2002
KAZAN VOL 1 GN #6
LEFT BEHIND VOL 1 GN
LEFT BEHIND VOL 2 GN
LONE WOLF & CUB VOL 15 BROTHERS OF THE GRASS TP
MONARCHY BULLETS OVER BABYLONTP
PREVIEWS VOL XI #12
REDMOON GN #3
ROSEBUD GRAPHIC CLASSICS VOL 1 EDGAR ALLAN POE
RUGRATS COMIC ADVENTURES VOL 3 #9
RUNDELSTONE OF OZ HC
SERAPHIC FEATHER TP
SFX #85
SIZZLE #12
SKY APE WAITING FOR CRIME TP
TOLKIENS THE HOBBIT TPB
TOMB RAIDER NEWSSTAND ED #8
TREASURY VICTORIAN MURDER VOL2 JACK THE RIPPER SC
TRIPWIRE MAGAZINE #7
WEIRD SPACE TP COLL

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Y’know, last week I had TOO MANY choices to pick from. This week... I’m not so enthusiastic about any of them. So, I will cheat, and give the Pick to an old reissue (that Diamond has just now started to carry): The Hobbit TPB. Still as nice as it was a decade plus ago when Eclipse first published it.

Average Rating for the Week: 42 books "reviewed" for an average rating of 3.26 (out of a possible 7.00)

Pick of the Week: Age of Bronze #12. History AND it is fabulous.

Pick of the Weak: If it weren’t for the (unintentional, I am sure) camp humor of JIST creating the Flash, that would be the easy shoo-in. But we laughed at the Green Fog, so we’ll hand the prize over to the utterly-pointless, and badly edited X-Men Millennial Visions 2001.