The Savage Critic: September 26th, 2001 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

How is it that seven days pass so swiftly? Drives me mental and a half.

ACTION COMICS #783: An interesting experiment, telling four different plot threads with two different narratives, concurrently. Problem is, I thought it read like gobbledy-gook. It is nice for Superman to look for redemption... but it reads really limply with super-villains. I mean, look, the cat’s name is "Major Disaster", and he reforms? "I’m sorry, I will use my power to create earthquakes and tornadoes only for good from now on!" Right! Awful

ANGEL AND THE APE #2: Fab art, completely and utterly unfunny otherwise. I don’t really want to see innocently conceived 60s characters cracking wise about blowjobs. Eh

AVENGERS #46: The Little Story That Overstayed Its Welcome, part MCVXCXV. You know what this reminded me of? Someone’s first Champions campaign, where they want to do Marvel-style stories, but they don’t understand what makes those types of stories good. Still, this is Stingray’s once-a-decade chance to do something useful. Awful.

BATMAN #595: Pretty decent continuity implant, and a running try to actually explain why Batman doesn’t like guns (besides the obvious surface reasons). OK

BATTLE POPE PRESENTS ST MICHAEL #1: I think I’m done with Battle Pope and its spin-offs. I feel like I’ve been reading more or less the same story over and over again. Great great great joke the first time... and losing any interest as each new permutation comes through. Eh.

CUCKOO #12: Have I ever talked about Cuckoo before? I don’t think so – it has had some spotty distribution, it seems, and doesn’t come out all that frequently, anyway. The author suffers/ed from DID, which is the more modern terminology for MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). This comic is a look in her mind, at both coping with the disease, and the root causes of it. It is stark, terrifying, gripping, and an emotionally wearying reading experience. I don’t think any of us can really understand what it is like to have multiple personalities, but this gets us a little closer. Absolutely recommended, though it is not "entertaining". Very good.

CYBERNARY 2.0 #3: What a waste of staples and paper. I couldn’t even finish it. Crap.

DEADPOOL AGENT OF WEAPON X #2: One joke, told over and over again, that’s Deadpool. Nice BWS cover, but that’s not enough to plunk down two-and-a-half bucks. Eh.

FANTASTIC FOUR 1234 #3: Threads coming together nicely. I very much liked that last line. Very good.

FLASH #178: If every superhero comic was at least as good as Flash, the DM would never have gotten into the problems we did. It is not high art, by any means, but it is entertaining stuff. Good.

GREEN ARROW #8: Given WHY Ollie...er, Green Arrow, I guess... was brought to heaven, I don’t see how he was just released like that, when the initial problem wasn’t even close to resolved. Still, great dialog, wonderful characterization. It’s fine, fun comics. What was that line about Dinah being pregnant, though? Very good.

HARLEY & IVY LOVE ON THE LAM: $2 worth of story, and it can be yours for only $5.95! You lucky lucky bastard! Joe Chiodo is a fab cover artist... but, hm, he has big problems with interior continuity. Bad comic, which is sad because I was looking forward to this. Awful

INCREDIBLE HULK #32: Trivializing real diseases is fun! Whee! Awful.

JLA #58: And so ends Mark Waid’s run on JLA. Hate to say it, but "Thank god!" It is weird – you’d think Waid would be the PERFECT writer for JLA... but no, he sucked. Next up: A Crossover! "Hurrah!" Awful

JLA INCARNATIONS #5: "JLDetroit" takes center stage, and boy does this issue make me fondly remember these deep and well-fleshed out characters! Hahahaha. No, just kidding. They STILL suck. Eh.

LAST KISS #2: It's on the funny side, but Not At All My Thing. Still, Dick Giordano was one helluva artist, huh? Eh.

LEGION WORLDS #6: Kinda cute, I guess. I’m ready for the new monthly. I guess. OK

MERIDIAN #16: Nicely told, well-illustrated fantasy, and I, sadly, don’t care at all. Not The Target Audience (young girls), but I suspect they’d enjoy this fine. OK

MINISTRY OF SPACE #2: Months go by and the enthusiasm dries up. Well-written, with GORGEOUS art by Chris Weston, but I see no reason to not WFtT (Wait For the Trade), even if it is Very Good.

NEW X-MEN #117: Hrm. Well, first off, it is from left field; second, "Chuck goes bad" has been done before, many times... hell, Morrison did it himself in Doom Patrol; third, you’d think Jean would pick up on it, pretty damn fast. Having said that, I REALLY liked the pages showing the school as a SCHOOL, and the dialogue was crisp and mean and no caffeine. I already miss Quitely, though. Very good, even despite the complaints.

OUT THERE #5: Story creeps along. I still haven’t found much emotional connection to any of the characters, though. OK

PETER PARKER SPIDER-MAN #35: Not a Spider-Man story, really, but, nonetheless, Very Good.

QUEEN & COUNTRY #4: Nice conclusion to the current storyline. The art is growing on me, though I’m not quite with it yet. Good.

SAVAGE DRAGON #89: Some funny stuff in here. OK

STARTLING STORIES BANNER #3: "Sympathetic characters? What’s that?" Eh.

TALEWEAVER #1: Had me for a page or two, then lost me right away after that. Better than Ninja Boy, but I think we can chalk up "Pacific Rim" as a failure now. Eh.

TANGLED WEB #6 FLOWERS FOR RHINO PART 2: Not QUITE the denouement of Flowers For Algernon (I need to read that again), but, still, the title didn’t lie. OK

TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE#10: If you’re looking for a comic with nekkid, and preposterously endowed, women, where absolutely everything except lips and nipple-tips are shown, then this, my friend, is the comic book for you. This issue: Strategically positioned butterflies! ALMOST in the "so bad it is good" category... but not quite, so it is just bad. Awful.

THOR GODSTORM #1: Yummy yummy Steve Rude art, doing that "What if... Rude was the bastard love child of Kirby and Ditko" thing, but the story was pretty inconsequential. But, then, you’re not buying this for story, are you? Well, I’m not, at least. I could just stare at Rude illustrating a pile of rocks. Good.

TITANS #33: Ham-fisted drama as you like it! Eh

US WAR MACHINE #3: Problem with weekly comics is it doesn’t give me enough time to come up with fresh jokes. This is still a pretty generic comic. Eh.

VAMPIRELLA #2: I read this on Wednesday, but all I can think about right now is the wretched "interview" with the Vampi model on the back page of this week’s Wizard. "I think my pants are tighter" is just about all you need to know. Anyway, slightly clever twist on the "Town Fulla Vampires" idea, but I liked Alan Moore’s better. Eh.

WOLVERINE #168: Two words: "Shit Sandwich". Awful.

X-TREME X-MEN SAVAGE LAND #1: Read it, forgot it. Only $3, and you can do the same! Awful.

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases (though not all) this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], and 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother.

ALULA CRASH IN THE DUAL WORLD
ARCHIE DIGEST #184
BLOWJOB #1
BTVS #37
CARTOON CARTOONS #7
CAVEWOMAN PANGAEAN SEA #0 ORIGIN ISSUE
CERES CELESTIAL LEGEND #4
D&D IN SHADOW OF DRAGONS #4
DICKGIRL BRIDE
EAGLE VOL 20 SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST
FUTABAKUN CHANGE VOL 7 #2
GUNDAM WING EPISODE ZERO #6
JUGHEAD #140
LADY DEATH LAST RITES #1
MINIBURGER BOX SET
MISTRESS & THE MAGGOT #1
NEON GENESIS BOOK 6 #3
OUTLAW 7 #1
RECOGNITION ELFQUEST SUMMER SPECIAL 2001 #2
S&M UNIVERSITY #1
SHPILKES
STAR WARS #34
VAMPIRE PRINCESS YUI VOL 3 #2
WALKIE TALKIE #2
WEIRD SPACE #5

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, and magazines that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

AH MY GODDESS ANIME COMIC #1
AKIRA VOL 4 TP
AMERICAN CENTURY SCARS AND STRIPES TP
BEST OF THE STAR SYSTEM #5
BONE 2002 CALENDAR
CASA HOWHARD VOL 1 SC
CINEFEX #87
DAWN 2002 WALL CALENDAR
ESSENTIAL HULK VOL 2 TP
FOOT SOLDIERS VOL 2 TP
HEAVY METAL NOVEMBER 2001
HOW TO DRAW ANIME & GAME CHARACTERS VOL 3 ENG ED
HOW TO DRAW MANGA GETTING STARTED ENG ED
HOW TO DRAW MANGA GIANT ROBOTS ENG ED
KABUKI VOL 5 METAMORPHOSIS TP
LONE WOLF & CUB VOL 13 MOON IN THE EAST SUN IN THE WEST TP
MADS ALFRED E NEUMAN AS BATMAN ACTION FIGURE
MADS ALFRED E NEUMAN AS SUPERMAN ACTION FIGURE
POISON IVY MEDIUM STATUE
PREVIEWS VOL XI #10
SKETCH MAGAZINE #9
TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #91
TREASURE CHEST OF FUN MAGNET SET
WARLANDS VOL 1 TP
WIZARD THE COMICS MAGAZINE #122

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: The wonderfully artistic Kabuki V5 TPB. Even though this is book five, this is also pretty self-contained... as such things go. Beautiful book, and worth every penny of your money.

Average Rating for the Week: 39 comics "reviewed" for an average of 3.15 (of a possible 7.00)

Pick of the Week: Not a single "excellent" this week, so let’s give the prize to... to... well, let’s throw a curve ball and say Peter Parker: Spider-Man #35. Do go check out Cuckoo, however.

Pick of the Weak: It takes a special comic to make me put it down in the middle, saying "ouch, I can’t even finish this". And Cybernary 2.0 #3 is that comic! Shame, shame on you!