The Savage Critic: September
11th, 2002
By Brian
Hibbs and Jeff Lester
Welcome back, my friends, to the show
that never ends.
After a few weeks off we’re tan, rested
and ready to get back into the reviewing swing. Absence makes the heart
grow fonder, or some shit.
We’re back to the Amazing Reviewing
Duo this time – though I doubt Jeff’ll be back here next week since
we’ll be into production on Onomatopoeia by then. Enjoy what
you can get, folks. Like last time, I'm blue,
and Jeff is red.
A FINE MESS #1: As
comics geeks go, I tend to fall on the formalist side of things, so
I liked this collection of early Matt Madden work fine, but not as much
as I thought I would. The Moebius strip cover and the first piece,
a Borgesian bit of Madden taking the piss, were great, and the largest
piece in the book, The Night of The Grossinator, felt well-observed
and cute, but sadly no deeper than that. The concluding segment, Exercises
In Style, leads me to worry that Madden’s really not going to wow me
until he finds a subject whose immediacy will counter-balance his cleverness
(and vice-versa). As I said earlier though, I liked it fine. Good.
Now that’s
a good review, El Jeffe. Me, all I was going to say was that I was just
vaguely bored by the whole thing – generally speaking observational
comics don’t do a thing for me. In fact, I kinda liked Exercises in
Style more than anything else, because it least it had a demonstration
of craft. But then, you’re the one with the English degree. Eh
ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #608: Wow,
as you meet Clark
Kent’s Dentist! Swoon, as a succession of third rate villains try to
kill Kent’s college professor! “Lois!” (BOOOOOM!) Somewhat more entertaining
an arc than the last few, but compared to last month’s run of single-issue
stories, I don’t care very much. OK You
are hilariously on point here: somehow the threat to Superman’s dentist,
physician and optometrist didn’t really make my blood run cold with
fear. In fact, why the hell would Superman have a dentist, physician
or optometrist? That sixteen panel grid was very ambitious: Too bad
it felt like the same page over and over. Eh.
AVENGERS ICONS VISION #2: Reads
like a pilot for a TV show…that would run on TNT…at six in the morning.
Eh. Yes,
but I thought this one did a better job capturing the essential creepiness
of the Vision, and I thought the semi-invisibility of intangibility
was a nice touch. I was glad to not see the big reveal of the villain
to be Ultron (I was worried there for about 20 pages), but the fact
that it seems to be DC’s The Construct made me suddenly compare this
in my head to Kurt Busiek’s Red Tornado mini-series of many decades
ago. OK
BATGIRL #32: Three
full issues of filler: to spend more time thinking of something to
say would take longer than Chuck Dixon took to write it. Awful.
Ahhahahahaha,
that’s good. It’s also a shame when the lead becomes a guest star in
her own book. Awful
BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #159:
First
throw of a new arc, but it really struck me just how far this book has
fallen from it’s original premise of “The Best Creative Teams Doing
That One Batman Story They Have In Them.” Black and White running in
Gotham Knights seems to have taken over that function, leaving me to
wonder why they’re still publishing LDK in the first place. A full inventory
drawer? Nothing wrong with this issue, but nothing to really plop down
$2.50 for, either. Eh You
can always get a cheap thrill from me by using the Batman: Year One
milieu, but if you don’t play by the rules established by Miller and
Mazzucchelli, I’ll turn on you pretty quick. The Jim Gordon from that
miniseries wouldn’t be caught off guard by three guys getting out of
a van. Lame-o. Eh.
BEAUTIFUL KILLER #2: Boring
exposition with some confusing narrative change-ups eat up an entire
third of the storyline: such a squandering of the art and the premise
that I’m giving it an Awful. I
was numbed enough reading through this that I threw it down at about
the halfway point. I’ll give it an Awful, too.
BLACK PANTHER #49: There
were quite a few really good scenes here (I really liked the Magneto
stuff now that it was explained), but the sample pages and cover of
next issues “new direction” makes it look like they’re throwing out
all of the (even uneven) charms this book has. Good. I
kinda felt like I was reading the decoded version of last issue, which
is good. The more cohesive Priest makes his scripts, the better I like
this book. I see your point about the relaunch worries—as long as Priest
can keep things coherent, I’m sure he’ll work in all the other stuff
too, (presumably slower pace). Good.
CALL OF DUTY THE PRECINCT #3:
Oy, where to start? I guess there wasn’t a single scene in this book
that seemed to have a passing acquaintance with a real life, and there
wasn’t a single scene that I couldn’t guess the end of, except the end
which was so damn stupid it doesn’t count. If I was Marvel, I’d be
embarrassed to be publishing this Crap. Yah,
this was friggin’ horrible. One almost gets the sense the creators hate
police... which is hardly the right course for what was, I thought,
meant to be a celebration of the NYPD. Almost certainly the worst mini-series
Marvel has published this year... and considering some of the x-minis
and Zimmerman stuff, that’s really saying quite a bit. Complete Crap.
CASTLE WAITING #15: I’m
really glad the bearded nuns story is over, and we can go back to light-hearted
whimsy, since Linda is so darn good at it. I felt charmed all the way
through, and completely enjoyed every page. Very Good.
Great
stuff. Great cartooning, great dialogue, great characters. Great, great,
great. By which I mean Very Good.
CATWOMAN SECRET FILES #1: A
good intro to the Catwoman series and a definite cut above most of the
Secret Files that I’ve read. The two page “Why Holly Isn’t Dead” was
by Brubaker and Shanower was a terrific tribute to early Jaime Love
& Rockets. Charming and good. I
had to look twice to see that it WASN’T Jaime. What was especially nice
about this secret files was it actually felt like it was important and
necessary to the series as a whole.. and I haven’t thought that... well,
ever, I don’t think. Plus, dig that 70s detective show cover. Good.
DORK #10: It
is always worth celebrating when a new Dork arrives. While there was
a misfire here and there (The How to Get Your Ass Kicked story ran at
least a page long), it’s more than made up by the stunning quality of
the rest of the material. God, that Devil Puppet story was great. Excellent.
That’s
so funny: the Devil Puppet story didn’t do it for more nearly as much
as “Mighty Carl Jung.” That was priceless, the sort of thing Woody Allen
did back when he was funny. And Dorkin’s bitter auto-bio stories are
always hilarious. “Holy shit! H-he kung-fu’d me!” And yet, Dork is
like reading those first priceless ten or so issues of Eightball again
and again—and stuff like the Devil Puppet story make me feel like he’s
jonesing to break out of his shtick like Clowes did and come up with
something a bit meatier, maybe a bit creepier. I hope he does. Both
“The College of Invisible Knowledge” and “Eltingville” felt a bit tired.
By comparison with the rest of this week’s books, I give this an Excellent,
but in comparison with his own previous work, I give this a Very
Good.
FABLES #5: A
surprisingly satisfying wrap-up to the first arc considering I didn’t
like the first three issues much—I’ll be sorry to see the art team of
Lan Medina and Steve Leiahola go, though. They did some great work.
Very Good. Yep,
quite a solid wrap-up, though I’m curious how the next arc’ll fall.
That will probably be make or break for the title. Good
FILTH #4: After
last issues plunge back to Animal Man territory, I was quite happy to
see this issue, just dripping in new and fresh ideas. Morrison has quite
the terrifying brain, and even cats like me who say things like “I like
it, but I don’t really ‘get’ The Invisibles” had a good clear flow through
this one. Excellent. This
is the second issue now that reminds me of Jack Kirby’s run on Jimmy
Olsen, if only he’d used William S. Burroughs as a co-writer. Great
fun. Very Good.
GEN 13 #1: That
was among one of the more…embarrassing comics I’ve ever read. The identical
twins knocking fists and saying things like “Major solid, bro. We owe
her aces.” made me want to crawl under my bed and die. And all the
NYFD stuff felt like major, major pandering. Crawly and wrong, and
yet also really, really dull. Crap. I
was also reasonably disturbed by the Caitlin appearance on the last
page – couldn’t even stay dead for 2 months, huh? Awful.
GOTHAM GIRLS #2: Fun
stuff, and crisply done. Good.
I didn’t read it because I forgot to grab it. I suck. No vote.
GREEN LANTERN #154:
Raw and visceral and to the point. I liked this, although they should
have either used real swear words or just skipped it. The only moment
I felt knocked out of the narrative was when I saw “you #$%#! low-life!”
Relevant comix normally make me cringe but I thought this was Good.
I’m still
of the mind that The Real World (doh!) needs to stay the hell away from
super-hero books – I kept thinking “Boy, that’ll get him kicked out
of the JLA”. Which probably makes me a very shallow individual. Hate
crimes are an awful, really fucking awful thing... but revenge fantasies
are nearly as bad for this reader. Having said that, several of the
scenes were really well done. I especially liked the policeman’s interrogation,
and it’s too-true nature. Good.
HARLEY QUINN #24: At
least last issue had some semblance of JLAdventures charm – this one
made my teeth ache. One more issue, then this is off my review list
forever. Awful. Didn’t
follow the rules, I thought. And I’m not even sure which rules I’m
talking about. All I know is last issue kinda worked and this one totally
didn’t. Awful.
HIGH ROADS #6: This
was really, really beautiful and really, really dumb. What the hell:
I liked the wrap-up, so I’ll give it a Good. I
can’t give it any better than an Eh.
HOPELESS SAVAGES GROUND ZERO #3: Yikes
the art was really awful in places here. And I kept feeling like I had
to struggle through all of the dialect in the script. When I have to
work so hard to read something, it drains a lot of the pleasure from
it, for me. Which is a shame because there’s really a ton of potential
here. Eh.
I didn’t read the first two issues. I tried, though, and couldn’t even
follow the scene transitions on the first few pages. No vote.
HUNTER THE AGE OF MAGIC #15:
Has Tim Hunter always been the most passive lead character in comics?
It seems like no sooner has one character told him he needs to wipe
his butt then another three characters show up telling him how and where
to find the Charmin. And I don’t know what that cover had to do with
anything, although it was really cool. Still, Horrocks and Case’s consistent
high level of competence makes this a Good read. That
passivity note is really a good one – when I think about it, it goes
all the way back to the original mini-series. I do hope this is coming
to a point soon, but yes, it is competently done. OK
IRON MAN #59: Two,
or was it three issues ago they did the big “Tony Stark is Iron Man!”
reveal to the world, and they’ve promptly forgotten about it since.
Sloppy storytelling, or bad reaction to editorial fiat? I mean, Avengers
has dealt with that more than this book has. Still and all, it’s really
really nice to see Grell doing full art and writing again, and despite
the wild sense of Déjà vu I had (The Dr. Doom Time travel story is one
of my favorites of the original run), I couldn’t help but enjoy it for
that. Good. I
just liked how damn goofy this story was, complete with some overly-researched
time travel theories just to make it seem like the whole thing didn’t
exist to give some S.C.A. and Ren-Faire nuts a cheap thrill. If you
just want to read a dumb comic book, I think you’ll find this one Good.
JIST WITH JOHN CASSADAY CREATING CRISIS:
I loved how the JLA divided up into teams to grab each of the different
gems that were all located on the same guy. “Catwoman and Robin—His
Boot!” What were they gonna do, wrestle the guy’s foot off? And to
top things off, none of that even happens! The JLA just stand around
like a bunch of drunks outside a bar arguing over who’s sober enough
to drive them all home. So lousy, even John Cassaday’s art looks bad
at points. This is out and out crap, plain and simple.
Jeff Lester,
if you don’t know (look at the rest of the site, man!), is also one
helluva comedy writer – he does a satire piece called Fanboy Rampage
for CE’s in-store newsletter, Onomatopoeia. Anyway, one of the best
parts about that column is the attributes he falsely gives to industry
figures: Paul Levitz is a Plushie, Stan rambles around LA selling the
rights to Brother Voodoo for a drink, that kind of thing. But, when
reading this last JIST, I kept flashing to Lester’s version of Stan,
braying loudly in some seedy cocktail bar; writing rambling, illegible
notes on sodden cocktail napkins, in between pounding back the Vodka
Gimlets and asking the scowling waitress if she’d like to see his Iron
Man. Then, once he falls into a stupor, Mike Uslan comes in, gently
lifting Stan’s snoring head, wiping the flecks of puke away the best
he can, then FedExing those napkins off to Mike Carlin in NY with an
jaunty “Script is done!” note attached. I can see Mike opening up the
stinking, squishy package (Levitz saunters past his office door, wearing,
oh my god, is that a badger suit?), and groaning at the long night he’ll
have trying to piece the drunken incoherent scraps into something even
slightly resembling a script. John Cassaday has to draw the newly assembled
script in between being set on by the packs of young, pretty girls that
follow in his wake. I truly feel sorry for everyone involved in this
project – despite a few meager glimpses of the artists saving the scripts
from itself, all twelve issues of this has been the entertainment equivilant
of watching Oprah get liposuction. Horrible, horrible, horrible crap.
JLA #71:
The B-team comes along... and really doesn’t do very much at all. Is
there a REASON this is bi-weekly, with two concurrent storylines? I
sure don’t see any reason from this installment. Or was it just, “look,
we’re bring Aquaman back, but it needs to be in an anniversary issue,
so let’s double up for a bit”? Either way, ouch. Awful.
Actually,
I love how “The Hunt for Aquaman” is, three issues in, at best a half-hearted
search, like when you’re a kid and your parents recruit you to help
look for their keys and you’re too lazy to even remember what they look
like. “Nope, Aquaman’s not under the couch. You must have left him
at work!” That said, maybe it’s just me, but it seems like only one
out of every four of Joe Kelly’s JLA issues works. And this was one
of them: the dialogue and interaction was clever without feeling strained.
Was barely a lick of story in there but it worked for me. Good.
JLA DESTINY #4: Pass
because I didn’t read the first three parts. That being said, I found
it kinda blucky because it read like a JLA book by a guy who doesn’t
like superheroes. No vote. Sadly,
I DID read the first three parts, and I regret that that hour of my
life is irrevocably gone. Awful.
NEW X-MEN #132: You
got to love it when New X-Men comes out WEEKLY. It would be really really,
really nice if someone up that could actually control the schedules
a bit. Le Sigh. Anyway, nice solid self-contained issue, with loverly
Jimenez art. Very good.
Hmm, that’s funny. To me, the storytelling
seemed a little rushed—I expect a lot better from Jimenez. Maybe because
of the deadlines (ironic considering all the time he waited for Morrison
on Invisibles) but the story in general just seemed oddly paced—I don’t
think Morrison’s speeding through scripts works as much to the story’s
advantage as he thinks it does. I did like how the story played with
comic cliché: here Morrison tries to present another way for Magneto
to “come back from the dead” and the last few pages almost pulled it
off for me. Almost. OK.
NIGHTWING #73: If
that read any faster, I would have been turning the pages backwards.
I feel like this is supposed to read like classic Wash Tubbs and Cap’n
Easy or something, but instead it just comes off as slapdash vamping.
Three issues and not over yet? Oh, come on. Crap. Oddly
enough, I actually thought Devin finally got control of her pacing this
issue – while it wouldn’t win an Eisner, I thought it was at least OK
PARADIGM #1: God,
I’m torn. Ripped to shreds even, over this. On the one hand, it’s really
awfully nice to see Image giving a shot to not-quite-ready-for-prime-time-but-will-be-there-in-2-years
new talent. There’s an interesting premise in here, and I always try
to give first pro work from what are clearly talented newcomers the
widest amount of leeway. In 2 years, both of these guys will probably
be very good. On the other hand, they really aren’t there yet – there
are so many basic storytelling gaffes (There are places in the script
where it is clear there is TOO much going on in the panel, and NO artist
could pull it off; and there are places in the art where it looks like
the artist has forgotten that in sequential story-telling, you need
to show the set-up before the resolution) that the final product is
fatally flawed. And, y’know, I like Bendis too, but the trick is to
find your own voice and style, guys. They get full points for trying
hard, and it is clear they DID try hard, but their reach done exceeded
their grasp. Still, I look forward to see how these boys develop. Here’s
a really good example of Why Editors Are Useful, and I fear that with
the Image set-up, they’re going to spend a lot more time “learning in
public” than they’d need if they had a good Editor. I give it an OK,
though it could have been much higher. Yeah,
what he said. I liked parts of this quite a lot, but towards the end,
I couldn’t tell what was odd and off-kilter because it was supposed
to be, and what was odd and off-kilter because the writer and artist
aren’t quite in control. But I’ll pick up another issue, and I think
they could be up’n’comers when they get it together. Good.
PLANETARY JLA TERRA OCCULTA: That
was wicked cool and a real fun read, although it didn’t end so much
as…stop. (I mean, hello, the Drummer?) Which, considering the number
of pages that were spent on the cool-but-means-very-little Martian Manhunter
appearance, felt like a bit of a cheat. I’d like my one-shots to be
a little more self-contained and I know Ellis can write more tightly
than this, but the art and the writing still were Very Good.
It was Very
Good, but there was too much off panel and implied for my taste.
POINT BLANK #2:
Nope. Didn’t work for me at all. Eh. I
liked this better than the first issue, but the flashbacks still feel
like too much filler. Also: maybe hollering for a taxi is a good page-turn,
but it’s a pretty poor issue-ender. Eh.
POWER COMPANY #8: “Oh,
Man! Oh, Man! We’re goin’ down—and it ain’t even a real job!” I liked
that line a lot, and it points to how this series could successfully
be about the weird way money worries and job woes can make us do very
strange things. But the rest of this was just damn dopey. Eh.
There were
huge chunks of this I liked, but it might be a case of too little too
late. OK
POWERS #23: Completely
solid and compelling, I can’t say much but Very Good.
Nice to see Bendis changing stuff up a little. That all totally worked
for me—although the clapping scene was, let’s be honest, hackneyed even
if appropriate. Very good.
RAISIN PIE #1: Hmmm.
They seem like a happy couple and all, but this anthology book by Rick
Altergott and Ariel Bordeaux shows that their work isn’t very complementary
and the format made the stories seemed truncated, particularly the first
of Ariel’s two stories. On the other hand, I liked Altergott’s work
in this more than his previous work, so there’s promise here. I’ll
definitely check out another issue or two, if they produce them with
any regularity. OK. It’s
interesting because this was the “best” Altergott for me, as well, but
I still feel completely cold when I read his stuff – it just meandered
along, and didn’t seem to be going anywhere, and had a completely extraneous
hardcore sex scene in the middle, and I just don’t understand what he’s
going for. Meanwhile, I liked Ariel’s first story much better than the
second one. Their work really isn’t complementary at all. Eh
STORMWATCH TEAM ACHILLES #3:
I don’t know why I want this book to work so much: I guess I just like
the idea of someone who actually knows what military guys can do dealing
with superpowered beings. But this is just not cutting it—Portacio’s
art is both ugly and confusing, and I’m starting to get a sense that
Wright talks a good talk, but doesn’t yet have the chops to pull this
off. This gets one more story arc from me, and then I’m done. Awful.
Mark me down
for “ditto”, thanks! Awful
TOM STRONGS TERRIFIC TALES #4: If
it wasn’t for the Art Adams work, I might not be bothering to read this
book at all. Steve Moore is talented enough, but he’s just not as inventive
as Alan. OK. It’s
sad, but my first thought putting this down was “I’ll read a book where
Art Adams draws cleavage any time.” Eh.
VERTIGO POP TOKYO #3: Fun
and that art is gorgeous but it felt a little padded. Nobody really
seems like they’ve progressed since the first issue and I guess I kinda
wanted that, cuz I’m not sure you can do “After Hours” in a several
issue miniseries and still have it work. Gotta love that art, though.
Good. Damn
you, Lester, that’s a second “ditto” this week! I couldn’t have put
it better myself. Good.
WAY OF THE RAT #5: You
hear things like “A movie on paper” bandied around a lot, but I thought
this issue really DID feel like that – barreling along with wonderfully
choreographed fight scenes that really sung. This is a fun little comic.
Very Good. Yeah,
I’m kinda embarrassed to admit it, this may be becoming one of my favorite
mainstream books on the market. Very Good.
X-MEN UNLIMITED #38: This
is where being an old school X-Men reader really hurts. I can’t tell
if this story didn’t work for me because there just wasn’t any sense
of Kitty moving through her grief, and so there was no closure for me
as a reader at the end, or if I’m such a bitter fanboy that the whole
Scott/Jean/Madeline debacle has me react to the conjoining of the ideas
“coincidental double” and “X-Men” the way a circus elephant beaten repeatedly
with a rubber hose will react to the preparations of its bath. Either
way, despite a refreshingly understated script and solid art, I can’t
this anything better than OK. And
while I am very near to giving this a “ditto”, I thought this had a
sensitivity that is completely rare in not only this we’re-cleaning-out-the-slush-pile
title, but X-Men spin-offs in general, that I bounce it up to a Good.
I thought it dealt with both loss and faith in a way that took a lot
of the core of the Claremont x-runs, and stripped away all of the melodrama.
I’d very much like to see more like this.
For Sake
of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got
in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!).
Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to
read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like most of the Archies;
3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno
[oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on
the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before,
and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading
anymore. You decide which is which.
AMELIA RULES #7
ARCHIE #527
AZRAEL AGENT OF THE BAT #94
BTVS WILLOW & TARA WILDERNESS#2
BTVS WILLOW & TARA WILDERNESSPHOTO CVR #2
DECOY #3 STORM OF THE CENTURY
DEFIANCE #4
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS BLACK AND WHITE #2
GUARDIAN ANGEL #2
LAUGH DIGEST #178
MYSTIC #28
RANMA 1/2 PART 11 #7
SCOOBY-DOO #64
SPAWN #119
TRANSFORMERS GENERATION ONE #5
TUROK EVOLUTION
VERONICA #131
VICTORIAN #15
X-TREME X-MEN #18
ZENDRA VOL 2 #3 IN THE BLIND DAYS
And, for
even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines,
and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any
of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt
to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since
I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
2000 AD #1304
2000 AD #1305
ALTER EGO #17
ANIMERICA EXTRA OCTOBER 2002 VOL 5 #10
BOUNCER VOL 1 HC DIAMOND FOR THE BEYOND
CAPTAIN AMERICA RED WHITE AND BLUE HC
CERES CELESTIAL LEGEND VOL 2 YUHI TP
COMIC BOOK MARKETPLACE #93 ALEX RAYMOND CVR A
CRUMB COMICS VOL 16 SC
FEMME FATALES VOL 11 #10 AND #11
FLOOD NOVEL IN PICTURES TP
HOWARD THE DUCK TP
LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN BOOK ONE TP
LEES TOY REVIEW SEPT 2002 #119
METABARONS VOL 3 TP POET AND KILLER
OLIVIA 2003 WALL CALENDAR
PRISONER 2003 WALL CALENDAR
PSH SERIES 1 FIRESTORM & RED TORNADO
PSH SERIES I MARTIAN MANHUNTER DELUXE SET
PSH SERIES I SILVER AGE FLASHVS CAPTAIN COLD
PSH SERIES I SILVER AGE WONDER WOMAN VS CHEETAH
SFX #95
SHIELD AMERICAS FIRST PATRIOTIC COMIC BOOK HERO TP
SKREEMER TP
STAR TREK THE NEXT GENERATIONTHE GORN CRISIS TP
STREAKY THE SUPER CAT SOFT TOY
STRONTIUM DOG GN PORTRAIT OF A MUTANT
SUPERMAN TARZAN SONS OF THE JUNGLE TP
TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST SEP 2002
TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST SEP 2002
TOMB RAIDER VOL 3 CHASING SHANGRI LA TP
TOYFARE SIMPSONS CVR #63
VAGABOND VOL 3 TP
ZED COLLECTED VOLUME ONE SC
This Week’s TP recommendation is:
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is such the obvious choice
that I’m just going to assume that you will automatically buy it. So,
I give the prize this week to Howard The Duck, Steve Gerber showing
that every once in a while, you CAN go home again. Hey,
now I get to play the “Ditto” card. Yay!
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