The Savage Critic: September 6th, 2001 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

You’re reading this late (if at all) – first comics were, of course, a day late because of Labor Day; then Jeff Lester accidentally turned off the server (*snicker*).

I have no extra-curricular stuff to report this week, so let’s get straight to the reviewin’. Hmm, wait, I have one thing: if you want to read an interview with me, discussing the business of comics and Marvel’s policies, jump over to

http://www.collectortimes.com/Clubhouse2.html

100 BULLETS #28: Yah, another nice solid issue. Good jumping in spot, too. Very good.

ADVS OF BARRY WEEN 3 MONKEY TALES #4: And, here, too, another nice solid issue. Liked the cliffhanger, too. Very good.

ALIAS #1: I liked it a lot – this is on-form Bendis... but there’s something a little awkward in the set-up. Maybe because when I think "failed superhero named Jessica, who is a private eye", I think "Spider-Woman". It is just too close, y’know? I (pretty obviously) have no real problem with a Mature Readers comic set in an existing "all ages" universe (That’s more or less how Vertigo started) – but you need to be really careful about how close those ties really are. Because that’s how retailers get in trouble with their community ("Mommy, why is Captain America talking to the woman who says ‘fuck’?") – best case, you’ll use the MU as "backdrop", with the occasional cameo. But, here in the first issue we have Luke Cage, the Avengers, and, seemingly as the key to this first arc, Cap. This’ll be a book to watch, though, I think. Especially when the TPBs come. Very good.

ARIA THE SOUL MARKET #4: I must be getting soft in my old age. Four positive reviews in a row? Anyway, yah, I liked this one, too. Nice art, the plot moved along well. Can’t ask for much more in a funny book. Very good.

AVENGERS CELESTIAL QUEST #1: Whew, finally something to hate! WTF is up with five Mantises (Mantii?)? There wasn’t a thing in this comic that would get me to buy the next one. Maybe 20 years ago, but this was a well that could have been avoided happily. Awful.

BATGIRL #20: Not much to say but "Eh". So... Eh

BATMAN GOTHAM ADVENTURES #42: No super-villains, no big sci-fi story. This felt more to me like an episode of the animated series (esp. those first seasons) than anything I’ve read in a while. Good.

BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #147: "Bad" is the title, and "bad" is the comic. Frickin’ psycho-babble! Awful

BONE #44: Hey, the first issue in this arc that I’ve completely liked. I’ve never really cared for the "getting from place to place" part of fantasy, and this issue, they’re there, and its pretty much all plot. Very good.

BROTHERHOOD #4: Nice-ass Fabry cover. Insides were much better than the first three... in fact, it really has nothing to do with the first three. Cardboard characters, though, and I’ve no one to empathize with. Eh

CABLE #96: Self-contained wrap-up to Weinberg’s run. Immortal Neanderthals, huh. Eh.

CRUSADES #7: Page after page after page of San Francisco mistakes. Drives me fucking nuts! Look, kids, it is "Nob Hill", not "Knob Hill". Hell, this issue has cut-up map after cut-up map in it – just LOOK at one of them! See? It says "Nob" on the maps! Knight sightings along the Land’s End? Uh HUH. The Presidio is "wilderness"? Uh, what? I was just there last week on a bike trip with my wife.... HARDLY wilderness, there’s people crawling over the entire area, ALL the time. The knight attacks a BART train in the middle of the Transbay Tube? HAHAHAHA! Pull the other one! "We’ll take over the protection rackets HERE" (*stabs a knife in the map*.... and the knife point is in Golden Gate park, and the surrounding PURELY residential neighborhood). Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Look, this is even more egregious when the "star" of the book is a GODDAMN FACT-CHECKER. PLEASE, someone fact-check this comic before it sees print! All of these BASIC mistakes makes my head hurt bad. Crap.

DAREDEVIL #23: Hey! What happened to Phil Winsdale?!?! Jeez, in the middle of the arc, nonetheless. This whole issue seemed like padding to me. Eh.

DAREDEVIL YELLOW #4: Yah, nice and solid, though not much happens. OK

DESPERADOES QUIET OF THE GRAVE #5: I didn’t think all of the plot-threads could have been so neatly wrapped up in one 22 page story, but they did. Very good ending to a solid series. Like I said... Very good.

ELECTROPOLIS #2: Mystery comics don’t work very well on a bi-monthly (or worse) schedule. Thankfully, the mystery is the least important element of this comic. This is an appealing SF world here from Dean Motter. Good.

EXILES #4: "What if... Dark Pheonix killed the X-Men!" I know I’ve read this before, only difference is the Exiles ran around too. Eh.

FANTASTIC FOUR #47: "What if... the FF had different powers!" I’ve read THIS one, too. Some of the Alternative reality concepts were clever (I liked the Doc Savage one the best, I think), but this isn’t much of a FF comic. Eh.

FIRST #11: I had stopped with the CrossGen books, but Chris Oarr said he read the column religiously, and tacked my reviews up on his office’s walls, so, what the hell, let’s do them again for another month. Too bad this was the first one in the stack! I don’t know that I’ve read a more confusing mess in my entire life. Every character looks the same, has the same body, speaks the same. Is the blond with big hooters on page one, the same blond with big hooters on page 8? Probably not, since they have different names, but since I couldn’t even follow the story a LITTLE, it doesn’t really matter. This comic was utter crap.

GREEN LANTERN #142: I keep wondering where Judd is going with this power-escalation stuff, and then I suddenly realized #150 is only 8 issues away. Whatever. This is not doing a damn thing for me, currently... other than the fact that Kyle and Jen are a cute couple. That John Stewart and Fatality sub-plot is just... icky. Eh.

INCREDIBLE HULK 2001: Yow. Talk about a mind-numbing fight scene. There’s NOTHING but fighting here. Why in god’s name would someone pay cash money for this?!? Maybe for the Kochalka story... but it worked SO much better in black and white. Was it redrawn for this annual? Seems like it. Crap.

KABUKI AGENTS SCARAB #8: I don’t like it. Not even sure why. Magic Eightball says "reply hazy, ask again". Eh.

KANE #31: Very cute conceit for a story, and clever (if inevitable) ending. But it didn’t really sing. Eh.

LEGEND OF THE SAGE #2: WhatEVAH. How do fairies from a magical realm even know what a "television" is? Eh.

LIBERTY MEADOWS #22: Puh-puh-puh-padded! I don’t think the "daily format" works at all for "adventure stories". Cho can sure drawify, though. Eh.

LUCIFER #18: Somehow this has suddenly become my favorite Vertigo book. This was a great issue, and really worked very well. Very good.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER #36: Limp ending to an ill-considered series. Eh.

MICHAEL NENOS REACTIONARY TALES #1: "What if... Jack Kirby took a LOT of acid?" Get past that ugly-ass cover, this was a wonderfully creepy and fucked up comic that’s worth a look, if your local store carries it. Good.

MYSTIC #16: This week’s other CrossGen comic fares a lot better than First. Self-contained issue, I could follow it fine, with very nice art. The end was REALLY predictable, but, then, I’ve read a lot of comics in my life. Still, solid enough to get a Good.

OBERGEIST #5: Any comics with "So, you’re a psychokenetic undead nazi on a mission from god?" is alright in my book. OK

ORIGIN #1: It sure LOOKS nice. But, for $3.50, I expect something to HAPPEN. I don’t see how this has any real bearing on Wolverine, or, even, functions as an origin at all. I mean, his name is "Dog"? My guess is an X-fan won’t care for this, while a non X-fan won’t know WHY to care. Still, looks nice enough to give an OK

SPECTRE #9: "What if... JM DeMatties came up with a new plot?" I might be able to recommend that one, if he did that. Yah, yah, you make your own heaven and hell. Been there, done that. Gorgeous art can’t save me from boredom in this case. Eh.

STRANGERS IN PARADISE VOL III#43: Uh... What? The first 50-whatever issues never happened? I sure as heck hope that THIS is a dream or something, otherwise, this is my last issue of SIP. Awful!

SUICIDE SQUAD #1: Cracking jokes AND going to certain death. No way to tell from this first issue where this is going to go. In and of itself, I was lukewarm at best. Eh.

SUPERMAN #174: So, Suicide Squad says Rock isn’t dead; and this issue of Supes says Ma and Pa Kent aren’t either. So OWAW meant.... exactly nothing? Yuck. That "new costume" is really awful, too. Other than that, this was well-crafted enough to give it an OK

SUPERMAN & BATMAN GENERATIONSII #2: I’m torn. I mean, I kinda liked the two stories here, but they didn’t zip or zing, and we already know what’s going to happen to most of the characters, and... it is $6. Too damn much. Eh.

THOR #41: A whole lot better than the last few issues, I’ll admit. Still, I’m not connecting, emotionally. Eh.

TITANS OF FINANCE: Clever idea, but draggy story-telling that had my eyes glazing by page 2. Eh.

TRUE SWAMP STONEGROUND & HILLBOUND: Torn again. Great package (dat’s a LOT of pages for the price), great depth, lots of thought and care went into it.... but I just don’t care. Might be a "Not my cuppa" book, in the end. Eh

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #13: Another homer for Bendis. Quite possibly the best Spidey story I’ve read all year, and it was just 2 (well 3) characters sitting around and talking. Excellent.

WILDCATS VOL 2 #27: Solid issue, some actual wildcats plot here... I think v3 will be a really good run, if this is the base quality. Good.

WOLVERINE #167: If I was Barry Windsor Smith, I’d be deeply embarrassed they put my cover on this comic. Bloody, violent, and pointless. I really hated this. Crap.

YOUNG JUSTICE #37: I liked the scenes with Secret and "Doug". A solid issue of an uneven book. OK

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], and 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother.

ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #128
BETTY & VERONICA #166
CHAIROSCURO #1
DISTANT SOIL #33
FATHOM KILLIANS TIDE #3
FUTABAKUN CHANGE VOL 7 #1
HELDEN #1
LOONEY TUNES #82
PLANET OF THE APES #1
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #101
SOULSEARCHERS #49
STALAGMITE #1
SUPER MANGA BLAST #15
TALES OF CHEROKEE #1
VAMPIRE PRINCESS YUI VOL 3 #1
WARLANDS AGE OF ICE #2
XENOS ARROW BOOK 2 #4

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, and magazines that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

2000 AD #1254
2000 AD #1255
CINESCAPE #53
COMICOLOGY #4
CRIMSON REDEMPTION TP
FORTEAN TIMES #150
G FAN #52
HORROR OF COLLIER COUNTY TP
JAYS DAYS VOL 1 GN
JIM MORRISON ACTION FIGURE
JOHN BUSCEMA SKETCHBOOK SC
JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE VOL 4 #2
MAD MAGAZINE #410
REMARKABLE WORLDS OF PHINEAS B FUDDLE TP
SAPPHIRE VOL 1
SARAI VOL 1 GN #3
SCARY GODMOTHER WILD ABOUT HARRY TP
SHADOW STAR TP
STAR WARS EMISSARIES TO MALASTARE TP
TOWN THAT DIDNT EXIST HC
VERDUN 1916
VIDEO WATCHDOG #75
WILL EISNERS SPIRIT ARCHIVES VOL 5 HC

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Easy enough: Scary Godmother: Wild About Harry

Average Rating for the Week: 43 books "reviewed" is, I think, a new record for me. Ratings average out to 3.67 (of 7.00)

Pick of the Week: I was just about to give it to Alias, or maybe Lucifer, when I realized my one and only "Excellent" for the week was Ultimate Spider-Man #13. But do go check out Michael Neno’s Reactionary Tales

Pick of the Weak: So many bad books to choose from this time! Four "Crap" reviews is, I think, my all time high. For sheer "What the fuck are you THINKING?!?" I want to give it to Strangers in Paradise... but at least Terry has craft. So it goes to the geographical abortion that is Crusades #7.