The Savage Critic: August
13th 2003
By Brian
Hibbs
Welcome back, my friends, to the show
that never ends...
Totally behind schedule this week (again)
– 9 AM Monday and I haven’t even typed a word. Too concerned
with upcoming baby stuff, and finding it hard to find time to work on
the novel. Still, the show never ever ends, does it? On with the “reviews”.
1602 #1: Right, It’s “Just Imagine
Neil Gaiman Creating the Elizabethan Marvel Universe”, and what you
think of that sorta depends on how well you parse that concept. There
were bits of it I likely intensely (Matt the blind Irish balladeer probably
being the central one), but I’m not really certain yet if I care whether
I read the rest of it or not. It’s almost certainly the best thing I’ve
read this week, but I don’t think this is what I want to read Neil writing.
I mean, it IS the Elizabethan Marvel Universe, ultimately. And while
one can flourish and noodle on the MU day in and day out, but it’s still
just the MU at the end of the day. Just like how the Grateful Dead jamming
on Not Fade Away for 35 minutes doesn’t change the fact that, at the
core, “My love is bigger than a Cadillac”, y’know? So, Excellent
with serious reservations.
ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN
#619: It’s weird. This week, I’m feeling really super-ambivalent with
most of what I’ve read, especially these next three books, and I really
just want to zip straight down to the one word review, with absolutely
nothing else to back it up. But, then, I feel I’m cheating you, if I
just say Eh...
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #56: But, then,
look at these three books here. I mean, really, if you’ve read comics
for any length of time in your life there’s really no way you can read
these and think anything other than Eh...
AQUAMAN #9: Which is, in fact, what
I thought of these three, but I feel cheap for just typing that and
nothing else. How else would you rate these, though? Yah, like I said,
Eh
ARIA THE USES OF ENCHANTMENT #3: It’s
pretty as heck, but the long pauses between issues really hurts the
momentum of the story. Good.
AVENGERS #69: I don’t think even Captain
America can hold his breath all through that long of a soliloquy!
Jeff observed the Skull has done this exact plot before, but I don’t
really care – I thought this was a reasonably timely twist. Still, the
pacing of this arc has been a little wonky – what happened to Jack of
Hearts, for example? OK
BATGIRL YEAR ONE #9: Big time dug this
– I very much liked the nods to what’s to come for Babs, and the cross-dressing
Robin scene. This’ll make a great TP when it comes in November – apparently
DC is lifting a few tricks from the Marvel TP playbook.... Excellent.
CAPTAIN AMERICA #16:
OK, my latest theory is that Jae Lee is turning in (yummy) pages randomly,
but Austen is scripting them in the order he receives them. How else
do you explain this hodge-podge? I’d also like to believe that Cap could
spot a dream sequence long before my dumb ass, but, apparently not.
I loved how Namor just shows up to basically say, “Yah, I was over there
watching you get all fucked up. Still friends?” This was so bad it’s
almost become MST3k bad – but the art is so damn nice. It’s like
Manos, the Hands of Fate with cinematography by Jan Svankmajer!
Awful
CRIMINAL MACABRE A CAL MCDONALD MYSTERY
#4: Liked this issue a lot – good use of mythology and nice characterization.
Very Good.
EMMA FROST #2: THE single most exploitive
cover on the stands (well, since the last issue of Tarot!) again
wrapped around a fairly decent long-form “origin” that bears no relationship
in any way, shape, or form, to the cover. Still, it’s not that much
better than a good issue of X-Men Unlimited, and it looks like
we’re still months away from Emma wearing the Tranny-look she sports
today, so it will be curious to see if the audience sticks around. OK
EXILES #30: Perfectly fine. OK
FABLES #16: Really liked this one –
strongest issue yet, with dynamite characterization. Excellent.
FALLEN ANGEL #2: Jeff and I argued
a fair amount about this on Friday – well, we both agreed it wasn’t
very good, but we had quite a debate on “anti-heroes”. To me, and I’m
willing to admit I might be wrong here, a good anti-hero story still
has you rooting for the anti-hero. I don’t here. “Lee” isn’t even a
character, really, so it turns to actions to define the “rooting”, and
as far as I can tell, she’s a drug-dealing scum-fuck. I mean, as far
as the story shows, she was blindsided by the “heroine” not being heroin,
yes? Besides, I find characters based on funny accents to be a smidge
racist, so “Asia Minor’s”
pidgin English (“Seinfeld? Be fie, ten minute!”) worked against it for
me. Finally, there’s nothing human or relatable here whatsoever – where
is the “real world” in all of this? Next issues blurb tells us that
“one of Lee’s students is threatened”, to which I ask “uh.... WHAT students?
We haven’t seen any students....” I can’t imagine this’ll last 12 issues,
to be honest. Awful
FANTASTIC FOUR #502 (#73): A smidge
awkward with only 2 pages on Reed (they seemed shoehorned in), but that
was a supremely fucked thing to do to Franklin. Sue’s response was wonderful. Good
FILTH #12: Just when I thought I understood
what was going on again..... Well, one more issue, then I can read the
whole thing in one go, and I’m sure I’ll follow it then. What’s odd
is that I can not follow this, and still be so in love with some of
the concepts presented to say Good
FINDER #32: I didn’t follow this one
very well either. Looked pretty though. Eh
FRANK MILLERS ROBOCOP #1: Did I misunderstand?
I thought this was based on Miller’s script for Robocop 2? It changed
THAT much? Wild. Ryp’s art is sensational, but the coloring messes it
all up – there’s no “weight” to the figures, and you have to look PAST
the color to see all of the crazy detail. A shaky Good.
GOTHAM CENTRAL #10: What’s a little
clunky is the “Oh shit, Harvey’s really dangerous” throughout here,
but it’s all “tell”; Renee appears to be at least as competent as Two-Face
to my eyes. I kinda wish Batman hadn’t showed up in the last few pages
(though I like how he’s only glimpsed), and this wasn’t as good as of
a wrap up as I was expecting – I’m more interested in the Cops than
the Gotham part,
y’know? Good
GREEN ARROW #29: Solid enough. OK
HERO #7: Clever clever idea – what
if the Dial found it’s way into the hands of the staff of Jackass
– and the execution was swell, too. Ooh, and it looks like ongoing subplots
begin here too. Very Good
HUMAN DEFENSE CORPS #4: I liked the
first three way more than I was expecting, but this one fell completely
flat to me. It may be the super-natural aspect. Eh
INCREDIBLE HULK #59: Jibber-jabber.
Eh
IRON MAN #71: Also an Eh.
JLA #84: I spent most of the issue
thinking “Erm, why is Disaster in the league, again?” and “J’onn’s no
longer scared of fire? So now he’s COMPLETELY unstoppable Deus-ex-machina
Man?” Yikes. Eh
JSA #51: Didn’t care for this one –
too much magic and punching, not enough character. I did find the end
to be very intriguing, however. OK
KINGPIN #3: Blah. Then ending was really
Awful, too.
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #82: Funny
as usual. Good
LETHARGIC LAD JUMBO SIZED ANNUAL #2:
Not really funny at all. *sad face* In fact, I really hated the jumping
around nature of the strips. Awful.
NIGHTWING #84: This is a shitty enough
Critic I went and erased the “and you can donate money to me” note at
the top – I’ve very little to SAY this week, as I’m sure you noticed.
This issue was fine. OK
POWERS #33: Really liked the execution,
but I don’t think I like the premise behind the actions – Walker is immortal?
Meh. Call it a low Good purely on the execution.
PUFFED #2: Far too contrived to keeping
him in the costume, but this was funny stuff, otherwise. Strong OK
PUNISHER #30: Don’t care about stories
where the Punisher is just a bit player. Eh.
SOJOURN #25: Only a buck. If I say
“worth every penny” that will sound like a pan, won’t it? Well, it’s
not a pan, and on an entertainment-per-page-per-dollar level, this one
is a winner. Very Good.
SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN #3: Why doesn’t
Peter just go to Reed and figure out a way to get the symbiote back
to his home world, huh? Eh.
STORMWATCH TEAM ACHILLES #14: More
like a super-team every issue, it seems. Spiffy art, though. OK
SUPERMAN & BATMAN GENERATIONSIII
#8: Buh? This is so astonishingly nonsensical, it deserves its own Eisner
category. I can’t even rate it!
TEEN TITANS #2: Continuing the strengths
of #1, I think this’ll stay a solid hit. Good.
TROUBLE #2: Note to Millar: if you’re
going to cram in period references, do be sure to make certain they’re
consistent. 12-cent comics are the 60s, while Reese’s Pieces are the
80s. Note to Marvel Editors: how about, oh, I dunno, EDITING? Sheesh.
This was really and truly Awful.
ULTIMATE X-MEN #36: Perfectly competent
in every way. OK
WITCHBLADE ANIMATED ONE SHOT: The tone
of these characters doesn’t match the animated style. It’s a Peanut
Butter and Clam sandwich. Awful
For
Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that
CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely
to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which
I try to read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like most of the
Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident
[this can include being shorted by Diamond as well]; 4) Porno [oh, like
you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks
that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I
care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore.
You decide which is which. There’s also the occasional “whoops we forgot
it!” in here as well...
ARCHIE
#539
ASSASSIN #1
BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #81
BRATH #6
DARKNESS WANTED DEAD ONE SHOT
GEN 13 #12
GI JOE #20
GI JOE FRONTLINE #11
GUN FU LOST CITY #1
HELLHOUNDS ABRAHAM CVR #1
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE ILLUSTRATED #25
MARK OF CHARON #5
MERIDIAN #38
MICRONAUTS #10
MISPLACED #2
OH MY GODDESS #100
PARADISE X SPECIAL A
PATH #17
POISON ELVES #74
ROTOGIN JUNKBOTZ #2
RUSE #22
SCOOBY DOO #75
STRANGERS GARCIA CVR #5
SUPER MANGA BLAST #34
SUPERNATURAL LAW #38
SYN #1
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ANIMATED #3
TRAILER PARK OF TERROR #2
TRANSFORMERS ARMADA #14
VERONICA #143
WARREN ELLIS STRANGE KILLINGSSTRONG MEDICINE #2
WITCHBLADE #67
YELLOW BABY #1
And,
for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs,
magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t
read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally
attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week,
since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
2000
AD #1349
2000 AD #1350
ALTER EGO #27
ANIMATION REPORTER VOL 1 #6
BATMAN ARCHIVES VOL 1 HC NEW PRTG
BATMAN HONG
KONG HC
CASTLE IN THE SKY VOL 3 TP
CSI CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATIONSERIAL TP
DC COMICS GUIDE TO INKING COMICS TP
DORK VOL 2 TP CIRCLING THE DRAIN
ESSENTIAL HUMAN TORCH VOL 1 TP
FORTEAN TIMES #174
GEN 13 SEPTEMBER SONG TP
HEAVY METAL SEPT 2003
JUDGE DREDD VS JUDGE DEATH SC GN
LIFE & ART OF MURPHY ANDERSON TP
LIKE A RIVER SC
LIZZIE MCGUIRE CINEMANGA VOL 2 GN
MAXX BOOK ONE TP
QUIMBY THE MOUSE SC
RANMA 1/2 TP VOL 4 2ND ED
RANMA 1/2 VOL 23 TP
SCI FI ENTERTAINMENT OCT03
SFX #107
SHOOTING STAR COMICS ANTHOLOGY #2
TOYFARE #74
WILL EISNERS HAWKS OF THE SEAS TP
WONDER WOMAN THE HIKETEIA SC
Y THE LAST MAN CYCLES VOL 2 TP
This Week’s TP recommendation is:
Despite the SUPER jarring affect of issue #7’s serious auto-bio in the
middle of a book that’s otherwise pure shtick, the best TP this week
is pretty clearly Dork Vol 2: Circling the Drain.
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