The Savage Critic: August
6th 2003
By Brian Hibbs
Welcome back, my friends, to the show
that never ends.
Just a reminder: if you missed last
week’s Critic (The one for comics from 7/27/03), because I was very
very very late in writing it, it can be found here.
Also, now that I’m back to being “on-time”
again, let me remind you that there’s worse things that you could do
than hitting the PaPal link on the page and throwing a couple o’ bucks
our way. At San Diego a BUNCH of you came up to me and said how much you
like this column... and, to a man, not a one of you have thrown me a
bone. *cry*
I have all kinds of fascinating things
I could tell you this week, but since I need a vacation from being on
vacation and am so far behind on schedule in just about everything in
my life and since Tzipora and I are leaving the house in 2 hours to
go shop for baby stuff (it’s getting close!), I won’t....
ACTION COMICS #806: “Abrakadizzle”?
Abraka-ficking-dizzle? Somewhere Bob Haney is having a good laugh, Daddy-O.
Do I have to say it again? Old white guys trying to write “hep” (or
“street” in this case) is really really really incredibly sad. Also:
Girl 13 is a lame character, no two ways about it, and lame characters
taking starring roles is one of the reasons I’ve been lucky, lately,
to sell one single copy of any Super book from off the racks. Our subs
haven’t changed much, but rack sales are nil or close to it. This shit
is wack, yo; or, in Criticese: Awful.
ALIAS #25: Even more twisted and fucked
up than I imagined it was going to be. While Spider-Man or Daredevil
will always sell better, I really think that this is probably Bendis’
best Marvel work. I especially liked the switch over to Bagely and how
the made the flashbacks seem even 10 times more creepier. This is Excellent
work
ARKHAM ASYLUM LIVING HELL #4: It’s
well done, yes, but you can’t tell me this isn’t padded, through-and-through.
I really think this would have worked better as the backup in Detective
than as a plodding along mini-series like this. A very strong OK, but
it’s just OK nonetheless
AUTHORITY VOL 2 #4: Phoned in. There’s
no suspense, there’s no passion, there’s no drama – it’s just cardboard
versions of characters we once liked. Each issue has gotten worse and
more cynical, and I’m done with this as of now. Awful.
BAD GIRLS #1: A weirdly flawed piece
that, despite those flaws, I really liked quite a bit. The high concept
is excellent (The power-clique of snooty high school girls get super-powers)
but there are clumsy things about the execution (They all drink from
the same water bottle, *and* finish it completely?); the art (by Jennifer
Graves) is superb, while the color is far too muted and flat to make
the art pop. On the balance I’ll give this a Good, but that’s
me being a smidge charitable.
BATMAN DEATH AND THE MAIDENS #1: It
may just be me, but given the intentions and scope of this story, it
probably would have been better to slot it into Batman or Detective
rather than making it a stand-alone mini. We’ve got 8 more issues to
see if it fulfills it’s promises, but this was a great start to the
story, and I’m eager to see more. Very Good.
CASEFILES SAM & TWITCH #2: Interesting
creative choice to have this be a three-tier story – not 100% sure it
worked, but I liked the experiment. A strong OK
CEREBUS #292: I’d recommend this just
for the rain effects in the background of page 11 alone. You may not
like his material, or his politics, I understand this, but you can’t
tell me that Dave Sim isn’t one of the greatest cartoonists this industry
has ever produced. You just can’t. Very Good.
DARK DAYS #2 30 DAYS OF NIGHTSEQUEL:
Lost me at the plot-hammering “aw, let’s just let her go” from the cops.
That’s much less believable than vampires, man! Eh
DETECTIVE COMICS #785: Brubaker is
really on his game here. This is very good stuff. The issue as a whole
is marred by the backup story though. The Gotham dogcatcher? Who in editorial
thinks THIS is compelling? Avergae taken down to a Good
DOCTOR FATE #1: There are a couple
of characters who sound a lot better on paper than they read as protagonists
of their own. That’s not to say that just the perfect creative team
can’t find a good twist and sustain a year or three worth of stories,
but I really do think that the publishers should try and realize that
Fate here, or the Phantom Stranger, or Namor or well, fill in your own
name here, are just supporting characters and should be left as that.
Also, while I’m agreeing with Jeff Lester’s Theorem that Comic Book
Magic is the least compelling dramatic device, ever – since there are
no rules, where is the peril? – I think the real problem with Fate is
that he’s no longer a creepy-ass bastard. I think the “original” concept
of Kent and Inza living in their doorless, windowless tower, sealed
off from the rest of the world, eternal, and, quite possibly insane
beyond measure, only venturing out when the ancient god (or possibly
demon – for most of the people I know dedicated to Order at all costs
are more demonic than the Chaos-based ones) who lives within the helmet
whispers to them and forces it’s personality to over-write theirs....
well, that’s a concept. What’s going on here is much less compelling.
Still, I’ll give props for two things: the page with the Phantom Stranger
was nice, and that Paul Rivoche cover was super-tops. Fate-by-way-of-Kirby.
Otherwise, this gets a big yawning Eh
ELEKTRA #26: See, two issues ago she
was super-Ninja, and now she’s acting like this is her first job. Meh
ETERNAL #3: I....you....it.... *shakes
head and walks away, sadly* Awful
FACTION PARADOX #1: Hrm. Interesting
SF set-up, with what looks to be a very rich and thought-out background
– not sure if I care for/about the execution of the concepts, though.
Willing to give it a couple of issues to confirm or deny, though. A
tentative Good.
FEATHER #1: What happened to everyone’s
noses? There’s more than a few charming moments in here – but ultimately
I just don’t care about the no-noses or their world. Eh.
FORMERLY KNOWN AS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE
#2: No gut-busting laughs, but it’s fun enough. A high OK
HAWKMAN #18: I think my problem with
this book is that, instead of being about a guy who dresses like a bird
and kicks ass with medieval weaponry, it’s now about flashbacks and
angst over previous lives. The latter probably gives you more story
hooks (in fact, I know it does), but it sure doesn’t interest me much
as a reader. OK
HEDGE KNIGHT #1: Strong adaptation
of the George RR Martin short story. Very Good.
JOSS WHEDONS FRAY #8: Three years later....
Actually, y’know what the strangest thing is? We 100% sold out of this
in less than half a day, despite keeping my order steady from #7, which
sold maybe 60%. I’ll never understand people. Still, everyone buying
it had the right idea – this is top notch shit. Excellent.
JSA ALL STARS #4: Another sales oddity:
we’re selling more of this than “regular” JSA. Which is even
weirder because they’re one shots without any forward-moving arc. I
don’t care about Courtney, I’m sorry to say – she just doesn’t seem
like that distinct of a character. On the other hand, the Robinson/Harris
backup Ted Knight story was aces. So, a solid Good all around.
JUSTICE LEAGUE ADVENTURES #22: Did
I ever mention the Super-Friends DVDs? Man, you HAVE to check
them out. Whatever you remember from watching them on 70s Saturday morning
TV is wrong – that shit is fully mental, with absurd high-concept plots
written by people who are very very very high on premium shit. Jeff
has to bring my DVD back, in fact.... Anyway, this comic could use more
highness. Eh.
NEW X-MEN #144: Better than the last
part, but still the weakest arc of NX yet. Here’s hoping it has a clever
conclusion. OK
SENTINEL #5: You know what would be
really funny? If after building up this warm, funny, human soap-opera
style story that next issue the kid goes nuts and has the robot kill
everyone in the high school before having to go on the run. OK
STRANGERS IN PARADISE VOL III #59:
That cover scared me. So did the insides, really. OK
SUPERMAN BATMAN #1: I still think it’s
a shitty title (What’s wrong with “World’s Finest” anyway?), but this
was pretty top notch stuff I thought. I really liked the origin recaps,
especially, and the art is insanely nice looking. Very Good.
SUPERMAN BIRTHRIGHT #2: I liked it
better than #1, but I still would have, I think, started the story with
next issue; I also found the retro-Smallville-ing of Lex to be
just a little awkward. A high OK
SUPREME POWER #1: Liked this a lot.
I would have ended the issue two pages earlier (the lack of drama of
the Flash kid so far just sucked the air out of the issue), but other
than that, I really really liked it, and I think it’ll have long-term
legs. Excellent.
THOR #67: Curiously, here we have a
story that *is* “changing the Marvel Universe, forever”, in such a way
I don’t think they’ll be able to get the toys back inside the box, and
it’s being steadfastly ignored. Probably because there have been something
like 4 different artists over the last few months, or maybe because
of the $2.99 cover price... or maybe because the execution is less exciting
than you might hope. But, yep, Thor’s going nuts, and looks to be ready
to destroy/take over the world. Eh
TONY MILLIONAIRE SOCK MONKEY #2: While
the rampage scenes were amusing, this didn’t have the melancholy punch
of the last issue. OK
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #44: Nothing much
to say except: Very Good (as usual)
UNCANNY X-MEN #429: Kurt actually
being a demon undercuts the character so deeply I can not begin
to say. The X-Men have begun to disappear back up their own ass as a
franchise. Awful
VERTIGO POP BANGKOK #4: Excellent all-gray
ending to this mini. This was the one of the three that actually had
something to SAY... which is probably why it sold the worst. Go figure.
I really liked this, though: Very Good.
X-MEN PHOENIX #3: Answering the age-old
question: “how little can a girl wear and not be considered nude?” If
you bought this, you’re a sick pervert. I wanted to brillo pad my eyes
just after leafing through it for this “review”. Awful.
X-TREME X-MEN #29: If only the extraneous
fight scenes and the corporate desire to pad out storylines so they
fit neatly into 6-issue paperbacks weren’t here – this could have been
Claremont’s
best story in a decade or more. Well, even with that, it probably is...
just not as good as it could have been. This issue: Eh
For
Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that
CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely
to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which
I try to read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like most of the
Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident
[this can include being shorted by Diamond as well]; 4) Porno [oh, like
you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks
that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I
care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore.
You decide which is which. There’s also the occasional “whoops we forgot
it!” in here as well...
AGENTS #4
ARCHIE MYSTERIES #30
ARTESIA AFIRE #3
AUTHORITY VOL 2 #0
BATMAN NEVERMORE #5
BETTY & VERONICA #191
EXTINCTION EVENT #2
HARLEY QUINN #35
INVINCIBLE ED #1 THE BEATING OF ED
INVINCIBLE ED #2 IM TOO SEXY
JUGHEAD #153
LAUGHTER OF THE DAMNED #3
LOONEY TUNES #105
MAD COLOR SPECIAL #8
MAD MAGAZINE #433
MARQUIS SIN OF ONE #1
MARVEL MUST HAVES ULTIMATE X-MEN 34-35
NEOTOPIA VOL 2 #1
ONE BLOODY YEAR FALL
ROBOTECH LOVE AND WAR #3
SCOOBY DOO DOLLAR COMIC
SHONEN JUMP VOL 1 #9 SEP 2003
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #126
SPAWN #127
SPIDER-GIRL #63
TERRY MOORES PARADISE TOO #14
THUNDERCATS DOGS OF WAR #2
And,
for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs,
magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t
read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally
attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week,
since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
AKIKO
VOL 6 TP
AL WILLIAMSON ADVENTURES HC
ANIMATION MAGAZINE SEP 2003
ANIMERICA AUGUST 2003 VOL 11 #8
ARTESIA VOL 2 ARTESIA AFIELD TP
ASIAN CULT CINEMA #40
ASTRO BOY VOL 17 TP
BATMAN ALIENS II TP
BATMAN THE CULT TP NEW PTG
CANNON GOD EXAXXION STAGE 2 TP
CHOBITS VOL 7 GN
COMIC BOOK ARTIST VOL 2 #1
COUNTDOWN TO WEDNESDAY INSIDELOOK AT THE COMIC BIZ DVD
DAWN COMEDY AND TRAGEDY WALL SCROLL #3
DIARY OF MOLLY FREDRICKSON VOL 1 GN PEANUT BUTTER (A)
FADE TRADE VOL 1 FADE FROM BLUE
HEAVY METAL ALFONSO AZPIRI WET DREAMS HC #2
HUMAN TARGET FINAL CUT SC
IN A METAL WEB GN VOL 2 (A)
KOMIKWERKS VOL 1 TP
KRAMERS ERGOT VOL 4 TP
LEES TOY REVIEW AUG 2003
LOVE HINA VOL 13 GN
LUIS ROYO VISIONS SC
SQUADRON SUPREME TP
STAR WARS A LONG TIME AGO VOL7 TP FAR FAR AWAY
TITANS YOUNG JUSTICE GRADUATION DAY COMPENDIUM
TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN MAGAZINE #18
ULTIMATE MARVEL TEAM UP VOL 3TP
VIDEO WATCHDOG #98
WILL EISNERS SPIRIT ARCHIVES VOL 11 HC
This Week’s TP recommendation is:
I suspect reissues of older TPs shouldn’t be allowed as the winner,
but I don’t care – the best TP of the week is Squadron Supreme.
Ahead of it’s time, this is Mark Gruenwald’s masterpiece, and it should
be on your bookshelf.
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