The Savage Critic:
July 24th, 2002
Welcome
back, my friends, to the show that never ends.
Well,
jeez, I can take a hint, I guess. Doing this kind of internet review
thingy weekly can be pretty odd. Once people get used to you being here
every week, they don’t exactly give you kudos any more. Not like I need
an overflowing mail box or anything (though I could do without all of
the accidental viruses that keep getting sent! Run a virus checker once
in a while, folks!), since I can see our hits climb week to week. Thus,
I know people read and enjoy the column (some 2000 of you each week!)
So,
you can imagine how surprised I was when I received a torrent of mail
on last week’s column where Jeff Lester and I played dueling reviews.
Everyone seemed to LOVE it.
Jeff
and I have talked about it, but I don’t think we can pull that off every
week. It’s not the logistics, or the writing – it’s that Jeff, y’know,
has a “real life” and enjoys, say, sunlight and fresh air and stuff.
Bastard.
So,
anyway, he reckons that once, maybe twice a month, he can do the co-Savage
thing.
I
think what we’ll TRY to shoot for is every other week, but when Jeff
can’t do the co-Critic (like this week – he’s writing Fanboy Rampage
and the New Comics section of Onomatopoeia), I will continue
to write it solo.
Best
we can do, folks. Hope you’re not too disappointed!
NEXT
week... well, next week is San
Diego, which means I won’t be doing a Critic, and
it’ll be all Jeff. The week after, it will probably be me solo again,
then the week after that (*crosses fingers*) will be the two of us again.
Or
not. Tune in and find out what actually happens!
As
for THIS week’s books....
AMAZING
SPIDER-MAN #43: Well, I don’t know. I imagine the idea behind this “new”
Doc Ock is to show “newer isn’t better” or
something. Which is fine with me, because I kinda
like Otto as he is. Or maybe it’s “I need some action, and with
Peter off chatting with MJ in LA, here’s a clever way to do it” Which
it is. This is good, solid comics, but I’m not desperately eager for
the next issue like I am with Ultimate Spider-Man. Good
APACHE
SKIES #1: Nice art, nice hook, and anything that lets a TP of Blaze
of Glory come out can’t be bad at all. I think I like the original
a bit better, but still, Good
BATMAN
#605: Excuse me for a minute while I go into a rant. First off, everyone
remembers how much I raved over “Bruce Wayne: Murderer?” right? Tight,
well told issues, that moved the story along.
It was engaging, it was reasonably inventive, and I liked it. Then we
get “Fugitive”, which meandered, looped all around, introduced a dangerous
side of Batman, then promptly went “no, I was
just kidding”. I’d call it a trainwreck, but
that would be unfair to 10,000 tons of steel slamming into each other
at high velocities.
Still,
I thought, “if they can resolve it adequately, then maybe it will all
be worth it.”
More
fool I.
It
seems to me that in order for a “mystery” to be “fair”, all of the clues,
suspects, motives need to be on the page. Like
the hoary “If a gun fires in the last chapter, you need to have the
gun placed in the first one”, right? The problem with “Fugitive” is
that it seems to assume that not only must you be familiar with the
current history of the DC universe (Luthor
being President, etc.), and that you need to have been following Bat-history
for the last x years (Cataclysm, etc.), but that you ALSO must
be a regular reader of Batgirl. Now, maybe I’m wrong, because when you
read this many comics every week, they have a tendency to kinda blur together, but I don’t recall any recent (i.e.,
within “fugitive”) mentions of David Cain. Making
the “reveal” way way out of left field.
Further,
they established in Nightwing that acrobat-bodied
Dick Grayson could barely squeeze through the secret passage into the
cave – so how did David Cain fit through?
Even
more wrong-headed and fucked up is the fact that this was “meant” to
be an “outreach program” – think about all of the tens of thousands
of copies of Ten Cent Adventure that were distributed nationwide to
new readers... many new to comics altogether. And it ended up like this.
I think this is a perfect window on What The Fuck
Is Wrong With DC Editorial in 2002.
Can
anyone honestly say they looked at that cover and went “Oh, sure, David
Cain, that makes sense!”? Or were you more like Jeff Lester and said,
“Hmm, it seems the murderer was Batman’s gay hairdresser”?
I
hated this comic. I hated this story. I hated the resolution. The only
possible good thing to say is “It’s over!” Crap.
BIRDS
OF PREY #45: Deathstroke and dinosaurs and Green Arrow (no, not Ollie)
appearances, and it makes one think “who is this aimed at anyway?” I
mean, sure, it is competently done, but at the end of your 3.5 minutes
in reading this comic, do you care one bit? I didn’t either. Eh
BONEYARD
#7: Some comics are just plain charming. It’s really hard to define
what IS “charm” and what is not... I tend to think a certain amount
of it comes from confidence in cartooning, really. If I never read another
issue of Boneyard again, I doubt I would feel
a loss or anything, but when I put it down, I think “Yah, that was charming”.
Good.
CATWOMAN
#9: Brubaker is a good guy. We all loves him
at CE, and I think he’s a helluva dialogue writer. He’s imaginative, and has good ideas,
but he still doesn’t seem to have a handle on extending a narrative
past 22 pages or so. (cf. the Batman books) That’s not to say
this wasn’t entertaining... just that I felt the pacing was... off,
somehow. I’m not being helpful, am I? OK
DEADLINE
#4: Conversely, I think Bill Rosemann somehow
figured pacing out just fine – oh, maybe this would have been better
suited for 3 issues rather than 4, but I thought this a surprisingly
strong denouement for a first time writer. Good.
DUNGEON
#1: What a strange fucking little book. Mostly a gaming humor style
book (how did we end up with like 8 of those on the market?), but, um,
it’s drawn by Trondheim.
Weird, right? I was with it for the first half dozen or so
pages, as it set the scenario up, but I got wickedly bored after that.
Not enough “ha ha” once you get past the vaguely
Weekend At Bernie’s set up. Eh
FUSED
#2: More example of the pacing thing – this should have been the FIRST
issue. I can’t even remember what was in #1, but it was obviously little
of consequence as this set the story up. Not that it’s much of a story...
really not much better than a b-movie premise, but at least things moved
forward adequately. Eh
GREEN ARROW #15: “Blam blam” “Nngh”
“argh” “smack”. There, you’ve just read the
comic. The day I believe some random loony with a gun can take out 3
members of the JLA without breaking a sweat... well that day won’t come,
so why dwell on it? There really wasn’t anything “Kevin Smith-ish” about this, and, frankly, I think it was pretty
much a waste of paper. If people don’t come back in 30 days for the
first Brad Meltzer issue, it’s because this storyline was such a huge
letdown. Hate to say it, but: Awful
GROWING
UP ENCHANTED #1: Here we have a book trying a little too hard to be
“charming” – the confidence you see in Boneyard
isn’t on display here, and there are way too many characters and things
being introduced for it to be particularly cohesive. Frankly, reading
the text piece at the back makes me wish they had followed their original
instincts, and just focused on the kid. Still, decent cartooning,
and quite nice hand lettering for a first comic. OK
HELLBOY
THE THIRD WISH #1: Mignola gets stronger and stronger and stronger. Looking at
Hellboy, you can see his maturation
as a writer. The only bad thing is he isn’t fast enough to get an issue
out every month. Still, I’ll take what I can get. Excellent.
HOPELESS
SAVAGES GROUND ZERO #2: Right about here I really wish I had Jeff co-writing
with me this week. I sorta like this, but the jarring language and scene shifts
just throw me way way off. It feels.... hm, best word I can come up with is “rushed”. Eh
INCREDIBLE
HULK #43: Jeff made a great point in the store that writers who have
characters quote famous poems from memory just look like they’re showing
off their own knowledge, rather than writing a compelling character.
Plus, me personally, I don’t think Bruce could POSSIBLY turn to Hulk
fast enough to catch a bullet in his teeth. I know Jones’ Hulk
is a critical darling, but it just leaves me feeling cold. Eh
INFINITY
ABYSS #4: Again, pacing. This would have made a better second issue
– the first two were not much more than vamping. This almost feels like
the comics equivalent of trying to relive your youth. And
failing. Eh
JSA
#38: Two sets of character studies, wrapped in just the barest smidge
of superheroics. I really liked this. Excellent.
KISS
#1: Coming out the same month he left (was fired from?) the X-books,
it’s probably not the best idea to banner the cover with “X-Men Writer
Joe Casey”. As for the comic... well, it puts Kiss back more towards
they never should have left (as “super heroes”, rather than... well,
whatever the fuck they were in that McFarlane comic)... but, even that
is just goofy as all hell. If this came out in ’78, it might have been
original, but in ’02, it just... is. Eh
LEAGUE
OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN VOL II #1: Nothing happens, really. Yet there
is something just completely wonderful and engaging about this world.
I really liked it although I question if, as 22 pages of entertainment,
it was worth $3.50. Still, all critics have blinders, and mine are set
to love and adore Alan Moore and Kev O’Neill.
So... excellent.
LEGION
#10: I was worried after last issue’s mess, but this one just opens
the throttle and throws all kinds of loony SF ideas out on to the plate.
Easily the best iteration of the LSH since Levitz
and Giffen’s heyday. Very
good.
LUCIFER
#28: Stand-alone, and largely tangential to the main story, I’d still
call this an excellent “jumping on” point. Very
good.
MARVEL
KNIGHTS VOL 2 #5: One of the comments we received several times last
week with the co-writing thing was “It’s nicer this way, because, between
the two of you, you’re actually EXPLAINING why something was good or
bad.” I’ve tried to take that to heart, in approaching this week’s column,
but I can’t even bring myself to care enough to do it for this putrid
piece o’ shit. Well, OK, quickly: 1) these characters should never ever
EVER be put together as co-protagonists in
the same story. Oh, sure, I admit, it’s theoretically possible to structure
a story where it might work, but it is so absurdly hard, and has no
payoff that why would you want to? 2) Five issues (so far) of this one
story? Of this utterly limp villain? Gods below,
shoot me now! Crap.
MAXIMUM
FORCE SPECIAL #1: I can’t quite remember if this is all reprint
or not... most of it seems slightly familiar from the middle-of-the-90s-boom
book of the same name, and the art appears to be Bisely
circa 5-10 years ago... but this might have actually been one of those
items Atomeka solicited, but never shipped. If you’re a Bisely completeist, you want this,
but if not, there’s nothing here for you to care about it, unless you
want to leer at strategically placed shadows. Eh
MUTIES
#6: Done. Nice art, though I’d smack Bernie Mireault
around a little for over-coloring the word balloons... the story, like
most of the ones proceeding it, is largely forgettable and disposable. OK
ONI
PRESS COLOR SP 2002: There really wasn’t a single story here that held
my interest, or made me smile, or enriched my life one little smidge.
Compared to the previous year’s efforts (which were GREAT), this was
limp and lifeless. Frankly, it felt like “but we always do a summer
special”, than filing any artistic need. Resounding Eh
ORDER
#6: Ugh. About as thrilling as a lead balloon. Ended the only way it
could (which is why, I think, the “Ultimate” universe is more interesting
than the “normal” MU... if this was an “ultimate” story, it might have
ended somewhere different), and hit by-the-numbers all the way on that
path. Awful
QUEEN
& COUNTRY #10: Art
is improving by leaps and bounds. Little too much jargon in the script,
but otherwise, very good
ROBIN
#104: Jon Lewis is beginning to find his legs on the book. I hope this
current storyline wraps up soon, though – not finding the antagonist
all that interesting. OK
SOJOURN
#13: Nice look at “the enemy being as understandable as the heroes”.
Good
SPIDER-MAN
TANGLED WEB #16: This is what you follow up Paul Pope with? Yikes. Why
on earth was this a 2 (?) parter? Barely
enough of anything for even a single shot story. And that over-rendered
“Australian” accent on Kangaroo was far too over the top. Awful
SUPERGIRL
#72: Eh
SUPERMAN
THE MAN OF STEEL #128: Double eh.
THING
FREAKSHOW #2: The cover gave the ending away (Honestly, if you see cows
in a FF-related comic, you just know they’re skrulls),
though this might not have been that understandable to anyone without
a thick MU background. Good
TITANS
#43: Gotta give Tom Peyer credit for
making Titans more interesting than it’s been since the first year,
but I’m reasonably underwhelmed by the “Planet
of the Junkies” – other than Speedy... er,
I mean Arsenal’s reactions, this doesn’t seem to be more than a thin
idea padded out. OK
TRUE
STORY SWEAR TO GOD #3 MOMENTS: Charming. Good
For Sake
of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got
in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore,
am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to
1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like
most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design
or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things
that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that
I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to
waste my time reading anymore. You decide which is which.
AMERICAN CENTURY #16
ARCHIE AND FRIENDS #60
BETTY #115
BETTY & VERONICA DOUBLE DIGEST #108
CARTOON CARTOONS #12
GIANT MANGA HORROR #1
HOUSEWIVES AT PLAY #9
LADY DEATH DARK ALLIANCE #2
LADY DEATH GODDESS RETURNS #2
MADMAN PICTURE EXHIBITION #4
NEGATION #8
ORIENT SEXPRESS #2
PURGATORI GOD KILLER #2
SHAZAM FAMILY ANNUAL #1
SIGIL #26
SPAWN #118
TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE#15
THIRD DEGREE #3
TREASURE CHESTS #8
X-TREME X-MEN #16
And, for
even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines,
and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any
of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst
the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
2000 AD #1294
2000 AD #1295
AFTER THE SNOOTER GN
ALTER EGO #16
ANIMAL MAN VOL 2 ORIGIN OF THE SPECIES TP \
BEPPO THE SUPER MONKEY SOFT TOY
BIZARRE COMIX #2
BLAZE OF GLORY TP
CLASSIC STAR WARS A LONG TIMEAGO TP VOL 2
COMICS JOURNAL SUMMER 2002 SPECIAL
DAREDEVIL WAKE UP TP
EROS GN 51 BOFFY THE VAMPIRE LAYER
EXTERMINATOR 17 HC
FANGORIA #215
LIBERTY MEADOWS VOL 1 EDEN TP
MAD XL #17
MARVEL 2000 - 2001 FANBOYS & BADGIRLS BILL & JOES MARVELOUS
OUT THERE VOL 1 THE EVIL WITHIN TP
PECULIA GN
PONY GIRLS AT SEA GN
PREVIEWS VOL XII #8
REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA VOL 2 TO PLANT TP
WIZARD X-MEN SPECIAL ED 2002
This
Week’s TP recommendation is:
I was going to give it to Liberty Meadows, because it’s a fine
looking book, with a lot of amusing stuff in it, but then I picked this
week to go through my bookshelves and pull the pamphlets that have now
been replaced by TPs. I do this every six months or so, because, generally
speaking, I don’t need two versions of the same thing. I can usually
do this pretty fast because I can just check the indicia, but every
once in a while you get a publisher/creator who decide they don’t want
to tell you in the indicia WHAT a book reprints. That,
or, the TP isn’t COMPLETE and just reprints SOME of the material in
various issues. This frustrates me, because I’d RATHER have the TP on
my shelf, but if I want to have a COMPLETE collection, then I have to
keep the singles as well. (Even Dorkin’s Dork
was the last book that did this to me, though D&Q seems to do it
a lot, too). ANYway, now I have to compare
my issues of Liberty Meadows to this TP by hand, and that annoys
me, so, instead the TP of the week goes to Animal Man: Origin of
the Species. Animal Man is excellent stuff, but it hasn’t
aged as well as it might have otherwise (you have to have a working
knowledge of Crisis on Infinite Earths to REALLY appreciate what
Morrison did), though it is still completely worth your coin.
Just as a side
note: Bill and Joe’s Marvelous Adventure wasn’t nearly as mean-spirited
or insane as I had hoped it would be. Basically, it was just a $30 version
of Marvel Age. Still, they suckered me into purchasing a copy,
didn’t they?
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