The Savage Critic: July 17th, 2002
Welcome back, my friends, to the show
that never ends.
Right, so, there are five
Wednesday’s in this month, and you know what that means! Right: lopsided
shipping weeks! ‘tweren’t much this week to really talk about so we’re
going to have a smidge of “fun” and try something a little new.
Lazy
Bastard Jeff Lester and I decided to try “point/counterpoint” this week.
We each took a pile o’ books home and the idea is one of us will write
the initial review for half of the books, and the other will fire back
with what they thought. We do this just hanging around the store, and
it’s a lot of jolly amusement for us, so hopefully it shall be such
for you as well.
At
first I thought this might result in less work, but I have a feeling
each of us is going to type MORE. Heh.
My
views are in red text, while Jeff's are
in blue italics. Simple enough, no?
ADVENTURES
OF SUPERMAN #606: So, I get to start. Right, well
there was a lot of running and hitting and shouting, all on this “pocket
Krypton” or Hypertime one, or something. The
art was reasonably decent (I guess now we’re seeing the super-books
veer back away from the Ameri-manga style?
Thank god!), but I don’t care at all about this version of Krypton.
Maybe it’s just me, but I really liked the “sterile” Krypton Byrne created.
To me, it made Kal not only the ultimate immigrant,
but showed the strength of America as
he transcended his beginnings. If he comes from a planet where everyone
is as wonderful and compassionate as he is, then I think it takes away
from his heroism, y’know? Just like the “Oh,
no, hundreds of Kryptonians actually survived”
did. That’s a long-winded way of saying, “I find this whole plot to
be unnecessary”. Eh. I
agree with you, although like a lot of stuff they do in the Supertitles,
I feel they try too hard to have it both ways. If all this turns out
to be a manipulation by “Cosmic Enemy X,” then any reader who invested
in the idea of this other Krypton is going to feel shafted. Way too
close to Spider-Cloneism for my tastes. Frankie say
Eh.
ALIAS #12: Here’s
some funny storytelling shorthand: you can tell the girl Jessica is
searching for is a bit of a mess because she does collage like David
Mack. Fortunately, more time is spent reminding us what a mess Jessica
is, the scenes of which I found a lot more interesting and perceptive
than the actual “story.” Good. I
liked it more than you, bunky. Bendis’
strength has always leaned more towards dialogue than plot, and I liked
the interplay in the “is the girl a mutant?” scenes. Plus, that dream/flashback
thing with Thor (and art by “house-style Bagley”) was neat. The only
bit I didn’t really get was in the jail: “Well, after last night...”
“Oh.” Huh? Three re-readings of that page, and I don’t understand what
those significant looks were all about. Anyway, Very
Good.
AUTOMATIC KAFKA #1: Ashley
Wood’s art is, as always pretty, but I thought there was a lot of blather
in the story itself. Nothing Horrible, but nothing
great. Eh. “Lieutenant
Casey, set the auto-gibberish on kill!” “Aye, aye, Captain Wood!” Eh.
BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #31:
This story has dragged on far too long for me to even care who the murderer
is, really. And there’s still a week to go. Now we know Luthor
is involved somehow, which, I dunno, just
seems a little too, dunno, convenient? I mean,
that was the “big reveal” in Cataclysm, too, right? The next issue better
be astonishing and amazing, or this will have been a lot of time wasted
all along – the fact that the killer came up through the batcave
means the killer knows Bruce is Batman. And, if that’s true, then the
whole story logic falls apart really: trying to pin a faked murder on
the World’s Greatest Detective? That’s pretty stupid, don’t you think?
If the “motive” was to “destroy Batman”, then REVEALING his identity
would have made more sense, wouldn’t it have? Can’t
muster more than Eh. Yeah,
I liked parts of this, but it lacked cohesiveness and the whole “Fugitive”
storyline is just a mess. Eh.
CAGE #4:
Hey, something finally happens! Plus, we get to see Cage kicked
around a little. Still, I’m a little unclear as to why he’s still alive.
Is it because Yojimbo and The
Man With No Name were still alive when they got to this point of the
story too? OK. Yes, but
the something that happens isn’t particularly interesting or compelling,
is it? I couldn’t really turn the pages fast enough to get through this,
even though it is always nice seeing Corben
comics work. Eh.
CAPTAIN MARVEL #34: I
really didn’t like the art, and the pacing was just all over the map.
Here’s hoping the relaunch is more entertaining.
Eh. Pretty much all the reasons
why people don’t read this book wrapped up in one package. And this
is coming from someone who buys this book every month. Awful.
DAREDEVIL #35:
“No, but my brother Mike is!” Wouldn’t that be a pisser? Personally,
I find captions like “Twenty-six days later…” to be a bit of a cheat,
but Bendis is one of the few guys I’ll let
get away with it because his individual scenes are so good. Good.
The pacing is what throws me off: This
wasn’t $3 worth of entertainment because it’s really all “middle”. I
suspect this’ll make an excellent book, but as a single I found it disappointing...
especially that “mouth open” cliffhanger. OK
ELEKTRA GLIMPSE AND ECHO
#1: Elektra, I think, really only works in mini-series
form. Scott Morse’s art was very tasty, but the story was standard Elektra
plot #6. Which is about what one wants from Elektra, I guess. OK
Actually, what I want from Elektra is death.
Sexy, ninja death. I liked the art on this,
but it’s like a very good Quality of Life: I kinda found myself wondering what the point was, other than
getting Scott Morse’s artwork out there to people who wouldn’t otherwise
look at it. OK.
ESTABLISHMENT #11: Thank
God, the first issue I’ve read since issue #2 was the one with all the
exposition. Some clever ideas but, once again, there’s nobody to really
care about or identify with. Eh
I agree there – if half of the ideas or characters
had been culled for more of a tight focus, this series would have worked
a lot better. Eh
FABLES #3: Some
nice character stuff, and background on Fabletown,
though I have a suspicion that Wolf is wrong and Rose is still alive.
Not really enough “clues” to try and figure out the mystery itself,
but I’m still liking this. I think the second arc is going to be make-or-break
for the title. A slightly kind Good. Better
than your average Vertigo, but still nothing to really light my fire.
And that whole “yeah, splash around exactly the same amount of blood
so we can figure out if she’s alive” thing seems beyond dumb. I’m giving
this two more issues, max. Eh.
FLASH TIME FLIES: I
guess I’m a naïve sucker. I was hoping this would be more than an excuse
to look at pretty Seth Fisher art, but no. Rozum’s
hook — that feeling that time is going by faster all the time because
it is — is pretty much disregarded
for your usual muddled thinking about superspeed
set to pretty Seth Fisher art. Darn pretty, but darn expensive, too.
Maybe I’m just being a hardass this week but
I can’t give this more than an Eh. Yah,
that’s a little hard-ass. The art alone bumps it up at least a notch.
It really makes me wonder what it is that editors DO up there – the
content of the book doesn’t really match the blurbs or what I assume
the pitch was. When it went veering off into super-theory, were I editor,
I would have pulled it back, and hard. I also wonder of the logic of
a world where the environment itself is toxic, but most of the technological
ideas we’re exposed to are animal-based. But, damnation, it was pretty.
OK
GI JOE #8: Eh.
I’m all about the ninja, and the fact that there’s a Joe called Shipwreck
cracked me up, but I’ve eaten snowpeas that
had more character than these guys. Gave me a big
ol’ case of the Whatevers.
Roger that. Those Joe names are just too
inane for anyone over the age of 13 to take seriously. I can’t muster
better than an Awful
GLOOM COOKIE #13:
Serina’s writing is fine, and the art has improved since the
last artist, but, y’know, I really don’t care
for Goth Angst. Eh I
liked the back-up story, but there was a reason I didn’t keep reading
this after Naifeh split. I, too, say Eh.
GREEN LANTERN #152: Man,
you’d think the members of Infinity Inc. killed somebody’s dog the way
they get crapped on. Still, I bet the hardest part of Green Lantern
is coming up with a decent villain and as a set-up, this worked well
enough. Eh. Disagree,
and it might be my rose-colored love of the Infinitors,
but putting Brainwave into a suit wasn’t so great. This is why I loved
the GL Corps: once you started losing ideas on earth, you could always
focus on another lantern in a different environment. There were
also what seemed to be lettering mistakes with Alan’s font: the “possessed”
font kept disappearing and reappearing. I also really don’t like “There,
I beat you, and I can beat you again, so.... goodbye.” endings. Eh
HIP FLASK UNNATURAL SELECTION:
I know Jeff was looking forward to this a lot.
Ladronn’s art is better than ever, but the
story was pretty incredibly thin and empty. In fact, there really wasn’t
a story at all: just 22 pages of dystopia
that could have been handled in 3 panels of flashbacks. Moreover, I
was stunned by the lettering: Starkings LIKES
that transparent word-baloon effect? Really?
I think it looks like shit and is very distracting. I have to call this
a noble failure, I think: I’m slightly more interested in “Giant hippo
detective” than “where did he come from?” If anyone but Ladronn
had illustrated this, I’d have said “awful”, but the art is SO lush
and pretty, I’ll bump that up to OK. Yeah,
it’s kinda like if they got Steranko
to do the Kool-Aid Man Comic Book. No matter how good it is, you’re
gonna keep remembering it’s
Kool-Aid Man, you know? The story without a story didn’t help. Plus,
I saw wayyyyy too many previews on the ‘Net.
I was really crushed I didn’t like this more because I think Ladronn
is awesome. OK.
HOOD #3: I’m
still liking this, although
this issue didn’t feel as fresh as the other two. It could just be
that Parker is an interesting character but a very lame supervillain.
Ant-Man could beat this guy, and although that sort of crap shouldn’t
really impinge on one’s enjoyment, that’s part of the problem with setting
your book squarely in the Marvel Universe. Good.
I rather thought that that was the
point of this. Though it makes those villains even more lame when Parker
gets away from them, no? Conveniently shooting the cop was a bit much,
though I’m much more interested to see what Parker tries to do for his
jail-bound friend now. OK
INFINITY ABYSS #3: The
first two issues now start to make sense – again, this needs an editor
to put the structure back into a compelling order. This probably should
have been the first issue, all things considered. I liked the Dr. Strange
bits, in a retro-70s kinda way though. OK.
I was such a huge Starlin
fan back in the day that I just can’t hate this, even though the Warlock/Pip
dialogue was excruciatingly bad. OK.
MIDNIGHT
MASS #4: My first issue of this, and probably
my last. Page one was pretty clever, but it was all downhill from there.
I guess it was okay, but the whole time I was reading it, I was wishing
that Mike Mignola was writing it. And
drawing it. And that it was Hellboy. Eh. Heh.
How does one follow up on a review like that? I have to say I agree
completely. Again, I think we have pacing problems: this seems to me
to be elongated just for the sake of being a two-parter.
Further, there’s no sense the characters are moving forward at all,
or that there’s an overall direction. Good call that this was made a
mini, rather than a monthly, but I think I think that 4 really tight
issues would have been better than what we’ve gotten so far. This won’t
return. Awful.
MORLOCKS #4: Buh? Wasting
most of the issue on the please-retire-the-concept Sentinels was annoying:
but I can’t imagine that “Trojan horse” idea could have possibly worked
at all. The only interesting character bit was really killing the head
Sentinel guy, but that wasn’t worth 4 issues to get to. And, ugh, that
ham-fisted setup for a sequel! Awful. I quit reading
this after issue #1 and came back for issue #4, so I’m far from the
perfect person to review this. But these guys had the chance to reprogram
an entire facility of Sentinels and instead they just trash the place
and run off? Losers. Eh.
NEW X-MEN #129:
Decent, I suppose: but I want to read about the X-Men rather than these
satellite characters Morrison is creating. Again, 2 issues of what probably
could have been one. Is this a function of the bi-weekly schedule? OK
Igor Kordey can
draw anything—except superheroes. I like Fantomex,
but this felt like Grant vamping to me. Two issues of people running
around screaming and we still don’t know what Weapon XII is? Eh.
NIGHTWING #71: Yikes,
this is one of mine? I can’t tell to what degree I’m jumping in cold,
cuz I think Devin’s trying to give the story
a breathless “mile-a-minute” feel to it. But I think that term should
refer to the speed at which the story moves, not the speed at which
it was written, right? Sadly, Awful.
Whole-heartedly agreed.
I hope Devin is using this as the method with which to finally get rid
of the “Grayson: PD” elements, though I don’t really see that many people
sticking around to find out how she does it based on this first issue.
Eh.
POWER COMPANY #6: While
we thankfully don’t have a mistaken identity bow and arrow killer in
this Green Arrow guest star issue, we do have the OTHER Ollie story
which is “Damn those fat cat corporations!” Structure must be the theme
at Savage Sentral this week, because I felt the flashbacks just went
on and on and on, and only served to pad things out and make this a
two parter. This book is desperately searching for an identity,
and some of the boardroom scenes showed the potential, but, like a poor
marksman, it keeps... missing... the mark. You’ll have to come down
here, Khan. Eh Oh, you
know you’re in trouble if Hibbs breaks out the Wrath of Khan quotes.
I think it would’ve been pretty funny if this had been the exact same
plot as the Hawkman and Batgirl, but there’s
still plenty of laughs to be had from Green Arrow swearing vengeance
on a company after his bad cooking almost kills Green Lantern. Awful.
SIDEKICKS THE SUBSTITUTE
ONE SHOT: Maybe it’s just me, but it seems
like the art quality at Oni has dropped perilously
over the last year or so. The storytelling on this was just lousy,
and the art looked amateurish. The story wasn’t anything to write home
about. This was bad enough, I double-checked
to see if it was self-published. Crap. While
I found the storytelling confusing, I’d put the plot up a little higher.
The problem, I think, is the manga style where
adults and kids all look basically the same, and you need some very
clear and distinct design on characters to make it clear which is which.
Missing here, to be sure. Eh.
SIMPSONS COMICS #72: Everyone
gets to have an off day once in awhile. The first Boothby Simpsons (well, since I noticed Boothby) that I felt
fell flat and unfunny. There was a decent joke here and there, but they
didn’t come together at all. Eh. I
am so disagreeing with you, Bri. Of course,
I’m a sucker for anything Logan’s Run, but also Lenny and Carl are probably
my favorite characters and I thought Boothby nailed them: Carl: “Okay,
but then I’ll drown you and make her my bride later.”
Lenny: “Fair enough.” If there was any problem with this, it’s just
that it was too much like the “anything goes” episodes The Simpsons have done this season. I’m giving this puppy a Very
Good.
SPIDER-MAN BLUE #3: The
first half of this book had, on average, three panels per page. Maybe
that’s why it felt so slight. Darn pretty, don’t get me wrong, but
slight. OK. I
liked it a lot, though I am at a loss to say why. Maybe because Peter
stuck on the cusp of manhood, confused about all inter-personal relationships
around him, is the “real” Peter Parker to me. Very
Good.
SPIDER-MAN PETER PARKER #46:
Whereas THIS Peter Parker needs to just kill the
Goblin and be done with it. Except Spidey shouldn’t kill. Sigh.
Peter is not the type of character that should be put into this kind
of no-win situation, really. OK Hmm,
that’s a really good point, Hibbs, although hasn’t it been a staple
of Spider-Man/Goblin stories for the last thirty years? It’s just no
one can bring themselves to break out the hoary “convenient amnesia”
trick that Stan so happily slapped around in the beginning. Me, I didn’t
read parts one or two, but everything that seemed to work in this issue
was either a result of Humberto Ramos’ art
or Jenkins having re-read The Killing Joke recently. OK.
SPIDER-MAN QUALITY OF LIFE
#3: How good is Greg Rucka?
Greg Rucka is so good I almost managed to
get past this art. Well, last issue, anyway. This issue, I wonder
if there was any reason for this mini-series other than to show off
that Viewmaster art. Awful. The scripting
was fine, I suppose, but I thought the plotting left way too much to
be desired. I really hate the art, too. Awful
THOR #51: Check
out that cover: that’s what they’ve got to do to sell Thor these days?
Oy. The
art on this was really fab, but the story stank. Thor admits that a bunch of his
Asgardians blindly attacked Spider-Man out
of misunderstanding and fear, but in the very next breath says Asgard
is going to stay on Earth to help and enlighten? Riiiiiight. The art was too
good to consider this crap, so let’s call it awful.
Plus that whole “I can’t believe they tried to
nuke New York” ending was... just yucky. I concur about the art,
but the story just insulted and assaulted my brain so much that I can’t
help but say Crap
THUNDERBOLTS #68: I’ve
lost the threads, or, really, even any interest in “counter earth”,
but, um, that’s a nice new costume for Moonstone? At least the colors
now make sense! Heh. Eh.
I liked the synopsis page more than
anything else in the book. I used to love Counter-Earth, and am glad
to see it back. But this story was so dull I felt like I was watching
an episode of Babylon
5. Eh.
TOMB RAIDER JOURNEYS #5:
Christ, that
blew. The art and storytelling were so bad, only the color and lack
of an anal sex scene kept me from mistaking this for a crappy porno
comic — Womb Raider, or something. Just awful.
Crap. Somehow I left this behind
at the store. Now I am glad that I did so. I’ll bow out with no review
TRANSFORMERS GENERATION ONE
#4: Take all of the problems with naming that
GI Joe has, then compound it with protagonists who are robots,
so I couldn’t care if I wanted to. What the fuck kinda
robot is going to name itself “Bumblebee”. I’m done with all retro-licensed
comics now, I think. Crap. That
Pat Lee art is pretty sweet, but there was so little story, I expected
the Autobots to throw fruit pies at the Decepticons
at the end. Awful.
TRANSMETROPOLITAN #58: I
think more fingers are pointed in this issue than in any issue of any
other comic ever printed. I’m sure it’ll read better in the trade.
Good. I’ve lost a lot of my
enthusiasm for Transmet because I think
this Smiler story has gone on far far
too long. I also think the shift towards revolution was a little sudden
based upon what Warren established for this world. OK
ULTIMATE X-MEN #20:
Solid enough: I kinda like the idea of the
mind-wiped Magneto leading Chuck back, though it seems a little convenient.
OK Hmm, for me I don’t
think even Millar knows to what extent Magneto’s new personality is
actually him (developed or implanted), which really removes the oomph
from the story’s climax. But I’m so glad Kubert’s
back on this book, I’m giving it an
OK.
UNCANNY X-MEN #409:
I read Joe Casey’s first issue, and I read
his last, and it looks like he improved as time went on. That art by
Sean Phillips helps a lot, of course. But I guess there’s just too many x-books for me to care, sadly. OK.
I don’t think he wrapped up his dangling threads too well, either. Wouldn’t
freezing an entire restaurant like that kill everyone? Eh
WAY OF THE RAT #3: Solidest
Chuck Dixon comic in many a year. I like it all around. Good. Talking
monkeys who drink too much are okay in my book. Probably the most entertaining
Crossgen book I’ve ever read, which is saying
very, very little. OK.
Y- THE LAST MAN #1: Clever
dialogue, mediocre art, some basic storytelling mistakes, and a stinky
idea: in short, this book is a perfect example of The State of Vertigo
2002. At least 80% of their books read like this to me. I don’t see
why they need another one. Eh. I
have a hard time seeing this sustain itself as a monthly, myself. I
think “disaster fiction” EITHER needs to focus on the disaster itself,
and the physical changes and whatnot it puts upon society, OR purely
focus on the characters involved. I get the sense they’re going to try
to do both at once, which I think will be biting off more than can be
chewed. Can you see the characters introduced coming together in anything
less than 3 issues? Too much for a scattered cast.
Despite those basic mistakes, I liked the art, and the last page text
piece gave me reason to think that MAYBE some interesting ideas will
be looked at, so I’ll give this first issue a tentative Good,
lest we scare people away from giving it a chance to reach the potential
that I think might be there.
For Sake
of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got
in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore,
am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to
1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like
most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design
or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things
that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that
I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to
waste my time reading anymore. You decide which is which.
ARCHIE #525
ARCHIE DIGEST #191
AZRAEL AGENT OF THE BAT #92
DEMI THE DEMONESS #6
FUZZ & PLUCK #2
HALO & SPROCKET #2
INU YASHA PART 6 #15
MUTANT EARTH #2
MYSTIC #26
S&M UNIVERSITY #5
SAVAGE PLANET #2
SECT #1
SMALL FAVORS #6
SQUID GIRL #1
TIM VIGILS WEBWITCH COMPANION
VAMPI #19
VERONICA #129
WERESLUT #7
And, for
even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines,
and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any
of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst
the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
2000 AD #1296
2000 AD #1297
4EYES #3
ACTION FIGURE NEWS AND TOY REVIEW #117
ANIMERICA AUG 2002 VOL 10 #8
ART OF JENNIFER JANESKO TP
BASTARD VOL 1 TP
CIRUELO DRAGON 2003 WALL CALENDAR
CLASSIC PINUPS 2003 WALL CALENDAR
CYBERTRONIAN TRG UNOFFICIAL TRANSFORMERS GD VOL 5
DOS FANTAS MORE ART ASHLEY WOOD SC
GODDESS TP
GRIN AND BARE IT #5 MAGAZINE
HEART OF DORKNESS COLL DORK TOWER VOL 3 TP
HELLBOY 2003 WALL CALENDAR
HTDM VOL 5
LOVE & ROCKETS VOL 8 BLOOD OFPALOMAR SC NEW PRTG
MAXFIELD PARRISH MASTERWORKS 2003 WALL CALENDAR
MERIDIAN VOL 3 TP TAKING THE SKIES
NODWICK CHRONICLES COLL NODWICK VOL 2 TP
PROMETHEA BOOK THREE HC
PULP AUGUST 2002 VOL 6 #8
PVP ONLINE COLLECTION VOL 1 TP STRIPTEASE
QUIT YOUR JOB GN NEW PRTG
RANDY THE SKELETON TP
SANCTUM VOL 1 HC USS NEBRASKA
SFX #93
SFX GUIDE TO SPACE SPECIAL OVERSHIP
STAR TREK MAGAZINE #40
THOR THE DEATH OF ODIN TP
WHATS MICHAEL A HARD DAYS LIFE TP
X-MEN EVOLUTION VOL 1 TP
This
Week’s TP recommendation is: No contest.
Promethea is the clear winner this
week. But where the fuck is the SC of volume 2? I
don’t want to sound like a parrot, but I wholeheartedly agree. Listen
to the Hibbs-Man, he knows of what he speaks. I want softcovers of Promethea and Top
Ten to loan to friends, dammit!
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