The Savage Critic: July 10th, 2002
By Brian
Hibbs
Welcome
back, my friends, to the show that never ends.
No
intros, just reviews... I’m behind schedule (Again!)
100%
#2:
Y’know if THIS had been the first issue, then maybe more people
would have picked it up. This may, in fact, be the best Paul Pope comic
book I’ve ever read. I absolutely love the idea of voyeurism gone so
extreme that people want to see internal organs. Now that’s sci-fi!
Very Good.
BATGIRL #30: Well, beyond
the fact that this blows the ending of Smith’s Green Arrow run (Conner
doesn’t die), and that it has almost exactly the same plot as last week’s
Hawkman (someone is killing people with arrows, title hero
mistakes Arrow for villain, hilarity ensues), this was perfectly competent.
There ARE possible plots for GA though, folks! OK
BATMAN
LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #157: A decent middle. That’s almost saying
a lot of LDK – most of them have fairly crummy middles. Good.
BATTLE
OF THE PLANETS #1: Well, sure, whatever. I was never a big fan of the
show, but this was inoffensive. However, maybe it is just me, but I
come from the school of thought that says identifying characters is
a good idea. So far every “nostalgia” project’s first issue (Transformers,
Joe, Micronauts) has assumed that if you’re buying the work,
you know exactly who the characters are, and all of their relationships.
So, thus, we never find out the names of most of the protagonists in
this issue (the first one comes on page TEN!) Anyway, inoffensive (except
for those 70s hairdos). Eh
BEAUTIFUL
KILLER #1: It looks nice, but the story depends too much on stupidity
and coincidence. Eh.
BLACK
PANTHER #47: More old west stuff – cute in places, but detracting from the
main plot threads. OK
BLADE #4: Ah, the old chestnut
of “but you can be human again!”. Cancelled
in __ issues, and for good reason. Awful.
BONE
#48: I wanted more ha-ha like last issue, but, yah, Jeff is on-game. Very Good.
CABLE #107: “Last” issue
-- a few cute ideas, but it really doesn’t go anywhere. Eh.
CALL
OF DUTY THE PRECINCT #1: I wanted to like this, but I was utterly repelled
by the abusiveness of the main cop, and the Afternoon Special style
story of his once-a-cop-now-a-priest brother. Plus, once again, the
supernatural elements seems massively out of
place. Awful.
CAT
WITH A REALLY BIG HEAD AND ONE OTHER STORY THAT ISN’T AS GOOD: Misnamed.
NEITHER story was any good! Awful.
DEADMAN
#8: Blah blah blah. Awful.
DEADPOOL
#69: Also a “last” issue. Same basic review as Cable.
Eh.
HARLEY
QUINN #22: Hell is reading this comic. Crap.
HEROBEAR
AND DECOY FIELD TRIP #1: I like Herobear,
but the Decoy characters seemed pretty dull. I’d have rather had an
issue of Herobear than this, frankly. Eh.
HOWARD
THE DUCK #6: The problem with metaphysical stories is that they can’t
really end up concluding ANYthing, right? Despite that little
flaw, this was great stuff, and probably would have been my Pick of
the Week in any other week. Very Good.
HUNTER
THE AGE OF MAGIC #13: Molly’s back, and, somehow, I was underwhelmed.
OK
IMPULSE
#88: By-the-numbers-ness that shows you just why this only has an issue
left. Awful.
IRON
MAN #57: Man, it doesn’t even DEAL with the Tony coming out as IM thing.
Instead we go back to that dumb-ass virtual reality guy. Awful.
MARC
HEMPELS NAKED BRAIN #1: Love Hempel’s stuff,
but this did seem a bit thin. He’s much better at dense narrative than
spot gags. OK
NOBLE
CAUSES #4: First arc ends by riffing on Ultron.
Or is that “shamelessly stealing”? Eh.
NODWICK
#15: Bit bored this issue.. probably
because there was little interplay between the 4 main characters in
favor of the jousting bit. Eh.
SABRETOOTH
MARY SHELLEY OVERDRIVE #2: Not sure why this and Attack of the Clones
seems to think that chicks are into mass murder, but I guess I wish
them luck with that. Awful.
SKINWALKER
#2: Good solid script, but blandish art. Thos grey washes really look
like shit, too. Want to give this better than an “OK”, but I can’t.
OK
SPIDER-MAN
GET KRAVEN #2: How can you have a comic where, literally, NOTHING happens?
Yikes, where are the editors? A four page cameo by Scott Baio,
for god’s sake? What the fuck? I’d call it crap, but that’s insulting
to crap. Ass.
STAR
WARS INFINITIES THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK #1: Luke dies on Hoth,
and... well, nothing really happens. But at least Luke dies, that’s
AN action, unlike that fucking Kraven comic...
Awful.
STORMWATCH
TEAM ACHILLES #1: You know how Erik Larsen grips his pencil kinda
like a (sorry) retard? Well, I’ve personally always thought Whilce
Portacio’s art looks like he does that strange
meaty grip too. The diff is I LIKE Erik’s pencils. Indistinct characters
(the only characteristic I could ascribe to them is the repeated-too-many-times
“we kill super-heroes”), and a plot that kinda
just drift on for far too many pages... even the cliffhanger was kinda
bland. Foo. Awful.
STRANGERS
IN PARADISE VOL III #51: I like Frannie and
Katchoo’s relationship, and I get TOTALLY
bored by anything that’s not directly addressing that. 50/50
this issue, basically, or so it felt. OK
SUPERMAN
#184: This Krypton stuff is misguided and uninteresting. Eh.
SUPERPATRIOT
AMERICAS FIGHTING FORCE #1: Nice looking art, but I can’t imagine anyone
really cares about this character. I know I don’t. Eh.
TRANSFORMERS
ARMADA #1: I read it, but here we are two days later, and not a single
thing about it has stayed with me. The comics
equivilant of Olestra, I guess? Awful
ULTIMATES
#5: Uh... wow. I’m speechless. That was... was... astonishing. Superhero
comics are now done. After reading this, there’s really no point in
reading other superhero comics again. I’m almost willing to go out on
the limb and say that Ultimates will be this generation’s Miracleman:
the kind of comic that makes you totally change your conceptions of
what super-hero comics can be. Well, alright maybe that’s overstating
it a little, but damn, this was a good hero comic. Excellent.
VERTIGO POP TOKYO #1: While
I loved the art, and enjoyed the direction of the story, I was put off
by the sprinkling of Japanese words that weren’t defined anywhere.
For example, in that first scene, the yakuza guy says “be quiet or this
building will become a meiwaku”. Sure, fine,
but what the heck is a “meiwaku”? When Japanese
speakers are speaking Japanese to each other, and the captions are in
English, then the “translations” should be IN English. I mean, sure,
you can get away with words that have become part of the English lexicon:
“banzai”, “sayanora”, et al., but not “meiwaku”
or “sumimasen” or “oyaji”,
or whatever. That caused me to lower my rating a grade,
otherwise I would have given it a “very good”. Good
For Sake
of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got
in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore,
am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to
1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like
most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design
or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things
that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that
I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to
waste my time reading anymore. You decide which is which.
BETTY & VERONICA #177
BETTY & VERONICA DIGEST #131
BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #70
BTVS WILLOW & TARA WILDERNESS#1
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS BLACK AND WHITE #1
EMPTY ZONE CONVERSATIONS WITHTHE DEAD #1
ENNIS & MCCREAS BIGGER DICKS #4
FORT! PROPHET OF THE UNEXPLAINED #2
JUGHEADS DOUBLE DIGEST #87
LORI LOVECRAFT #1
LOST BOOK OF FAERIE MAGIC VOL1
MADMAN PICTURE EXHIBITION #3
MY MONKEYS NAME IS JENNIFER #3
OH MY GODDESS! PART XII #1
RANMA 1/2 PART 11 #5
SCOOBY-DOO #62
SHIVER IN THE DARK #1
SKY BETWEEN BRANCHES #0
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #112
STAR WARS #43
SUICIDE SQUAD #11
SUPERNATURAL LAW #34
WARREN ELLIS ATMOSPHERICS GN
X-TREME X-MEN #15
YOUNG WITCHES VOL 5 THE LEGACY #3
And, for
even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines,
and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any
of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst
the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
2000 AD #1292
2000 AD #1293
ANIMERICA EXTRA AUGUST 2002 VOL 5 #8
BAKUNE YOUNG VOL 3 TP
BOB BURDENS FLAMING CARROT STATUE
BPRD EMBROIDERED PATCH
CINEFEX #90
CLIVE BARKERS HELLRAISER COLLECTED BEST TP
COMIC BOOK ARTIST #19
COMIC BOOK MARKETPLACE #92
CRISIS ON MULTIPLE EARTHS TP
EXILES VOL 2 TP A WORLD APART
FAUST COMMUNION COLLECTION VOL 3 TP
FORGE #4
GHOST WORLD ENID & REBECCA CLOTH DOLL SET
GI JOE VOL 1 REINSTATED TP
GROO NURSERY TP
GTO VOL 3 GN
HEAVY METAL SUMMER 2002 SPECIAL
KABUKI VOL 4 SKIN DEEP TP NEWPRTG
LOVE HINA VOL 3 GN
LUIS ROYOS CHAINS PORTFOLIO
MAD MAGAZINE #420
MAGIC PICKLE TP
MEDABOTS VOL 1 BOY & HIS BOT TP
MEDUSA BY CHRIS ACHILLEOS TP
NEIL GAIMANS CORALINE HC
PRIEST VOL 1 GN
PRIVATE BEACH VOL 1 TP FUN & PERILS IN TRUDYVERSE
ROCKETS BLAST COMICOLLECTOR #3 TP
SFX #92
SFX #92 OVERSHIP
SHADOW & LIGHT VOL 4
STAR TREK COMMUNICATOR #139
STARLOG #301
TANK GIRL VOL 1 GN
TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST JUL 2002
TOYFARE #61
WITCHBLADE OBAKEMONO
This
Week’s TP recommendation is:
Lotsa good stuff here: Tank Girl, Groo,
the fairly uneven Hellraiser book even. But
I think I have to give it to Crisis on Multiple Earths.
I’m a sucker for JLA/JSA crossovers, and I really want to know what
drugs Gardner Fox was on when he come up with “Crisis on Earth A”. That
is seriously a weird and loony story. I hope this book does well enough
that they reprint the rest of the crossovers.
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