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Welcome back, my friends, to the show
that never ends...
...although for myself (Jeff), I managed
to pre-empt it for a little while. I helped my buddy Patrick move his
stuff cross-country which meant two weeks of driving cross-country.
No job, no responsibilities…and no comics. Admittedly, we were driving
through the South, but I couldn’t believe how much easier it was to
find a titty bar than a comic store. Wayyyy easier. And there’s some
odd perversity running through the Southern character (at least if billboards
are to believed) in that the most erotic thing they can imagine is the
idea of an adult bookstore crossed with Walmart. I saw so many ads
for adult “superstores,” as if nothing could be better than five floors
of spanking magazines, lubricants, and inflatable sex dolls. And most
of these signs seemed to be within a hundred yards of a Church. And
somewhere, I imagine, far off the Interstate, were good ol’ comic books.
But I didn’t see any until I got back to San Francisco,
and I found that pretty disconcerting. No wonder people actually say,
“Comic books? They still make those?”
Anyway, this is all my roundabout way
of saying, I’m rusty. I’ve got a big pile of books in my pull box to
work through, I haven’t even thought about having to review anything
in a month, and a lot of stuff this week is the second or third parts
to things I haven’t read part one of. Just think of me as Goofus this
weeks to Bri’s Gallant. Hopefully, the situation’ll improve by next
week, when Bri goes off to sign books and party with the superstars
at San Diego, and I wrestle a week’s
comics by myself. Woo.
So, unless Bri’s got something to say,
let’s get to it. As usual, I’m in this color
and Bri’s in this color. OH! And special
thanks to Mark Dasbender, for providing us with the handy-dandy HTML
code to get the Paypal links on these pages. I won’t even begin to
break out the sad-but-true “Bri thought I was researching the Paypal
links, while I thought he was” story, so let’s just leave it at hearty
appreciation for Dasbender’s work. And let’s hope he gets cracking
on his webpage, because that “coming soon” page looks pretty cool…
Only thing
I have to add this week is to note that I’ll be signing copies of Tilting
at Windmills at the San Diego Comic Con (!!!) on Saturday at 3:30
at IDW’s booth (1943). This whole thing is a little surreal to me, and
will be made even more so if I get a line of people wanting me to sign
copies for them. So, come and blow my mind.
On to the savaging....
THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN:
THE MOVIE: Yeah, Hibbs and I thought we’d give
you a little bonus since we saw a preview for it Wednesday night. I
basically thought it was going to suck massive ass (I would’ve bet money
on it, in fact) after all those lousy ass trailers and the various bits
and pieces of CBR info I looked at. (Dorian Grey? Tom Sawyer? Feh!)
But, actually, surprisingly — even horrifyingly — I kind of liked
it. It starts off really super-cheesy and dumb with bobbies and a tank
in what feels like an attempt to make the heads explode of anyone who
actually read the original material. But after that, ELL! ECHS! GEE!
gets down to the real important business of the movie: giving Sean
Connery’s ego enough head he’ll agree to star in the picture. It’s
pretty funny, after watching Moore
deconstruct Alan Quatermain down to a very human, almost craven, person,
to watch the filmmakers reconstruct A.Q. as the very apotheosis of the
Great White Hunter. But, weirdly, it actually works, in part because
it’s still possible to love Sean Connery almost as much as he loves
himself. As the story centers around Quatermain, the addition of the
other characters makes a lot more sense — Tom Sawyer becomes a surrogate
for the son he lost, Dorian Gray becomes the weary cynic A.Q. tries
to become in his retirement. As the movie goes on, it does a surprisingly
good job of dumbing down all of the other characters from the original
series and yet making them effective nonetheless (I even liked the vampification
of Mina Harker). Once I was able to think of them — and yes, I know
how pathetic this makes me sound — as kind of the Earth 2 version of
the LOEG, I was able to kick back and enjoy the movie. It’s not perfect,
mind you, because they bungled a lot of the action scenes, and the CGI
was just ladled on every bit of the film, and you may or may not appreciate
the twist at the end of Act II (I very much did) but if you’re in the
mood for a good dumb summer movie (which after the ponderous suckitude
of The Hulk, I sure as shit was), ELL! ECHS! GEE! might do the
trick for you. It did for me. Good.
Let me give
a paragraph break here for people to rest their eyes. Right, so, unlike
The Hulk, at least it didn’t give me any ass-squirm. Sadly, that’s
kinda my movie-watching standard these days: Did it give me ass-squirm?
I think Jeff’s comment about it being the Earth-2 League is so completely
right on that I want that framed and hung above... well, not my bed.
Maybe his. I think my real problem is the movie is just so ordinary
– it’s like the studio execs said, “Yah, well, all movies have explosions
and automatic weapons fire and car chases! Fit those in!” With just
a slight toning down of excess, with a few steps back from anachronism,
or, even, a consistent set of rules applied, this coulda been good.
The better thing, perhaps, will be to approach it as a camp film – heck
Jeff and I nearly fell out of our seats in the first five minutes when
a faux newspaper head screamed “’Not us!’ says Germany” – I think I’d
have to come down to this: it’s worth the time, it’s not especially
worth the money. Renting it when it comes on DVD for $1.50 and watching
it with 4 friends? Yep, there’s a plan. Spending $9 at a theatre, on
top of parking and refreshments and the general hassles of dealing with
fellow humans in a public setting? Nope! Bearing that standard in mind,
on the Savage Critic scale: OK
SPIDER-MAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES: Well,
or whatever it is called technically. MTV’s show. Just debuted on Friday
night. Not sure if Jeff remembered to set his VCR (despite my e-mail).
The first thing you notice is the animation. And how.... strange it
looks. Like a video game. Anything normal (like people walking down
the street) looks really weirdly slow and distorted, but Spidey, or
all of the action looks pretty smooth and kick ass. The video engine
is also really great at conveying the more subtle human body language
– look at the wonderful body language of Max Dillon before he Electro’s
up -- it’s just on “normal” it looks downright weird. The writing is
decent (though I somehow expected a little more from Bendis), while
the voice acting was a bit “Meh” – it kinda sounds recorded in real
time with no direction as to differing moods or time. I’m not sure how
well this will do, really – if I hadn’t seen the story on Pulse I probably
would have forgotten it was on, it’s not like they’ve advertised it
much, but since it is on TV for “free” (made better by recording it,
then FFing through MTVs hugely long commercial blocks), and since Spidey
himself moves so perfectly, I’ll give it a Good. Yeah,
for some reason I didn’t get that email before I left for the store,
and the girlfriend doesn’t have a TV, so I missed it. Good thing about
MTV, though, I can be reasonably sure they’ll show it another 725 times
before the end of the month. I’m looking forward to it.
ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #618:
Oh, Joe Casey, Joe Casey. I dig his non-violent, big ideas approach
to this book but this issue about the Earth losing its gravity due to
the Mxy Twins made me spend more time scratching my head than gripping
it in awe and wonder. Why would jamming a white dwarf star into the
core of the Earth give it back its gravity, when the gravity disappeared
because of obeys-no-laws magic? It seems to me that if the Earth is
in some sort of wonky zero-g field, then it didn’t matter what you stuck
in there, the mass is still being treated like it doesn’t exist, right?
Whatever — my advice to Casey is more crazy impossibles and less time
explaining something that wouldn’t work anyway. To me, the charm of
the old Superman stories is that there’s something impossible
happening every other panel, not one impossible thing vamped out to
the whole issue. The cow goes: Eh. And,
me, I like the little guy in the bowler hat who has to be made to say
his name backwards. So these “modern” twins do less than nothing for
me. Kltpzyxm! (or in Savage english: Awful)
BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #169:
It was a very.... interesting artistic choice
to visually base this newest Bat-foe on Butthead (of Beavis &…fame),
and it took me most of the issue to get past that one. But other than
that, and given the wholly disposable nature of LDK these last few years,
it was a decent enough story. I probably wouldn’t have scheduled this
so fast on the heels of the Dwayne McDuffie story because they share
a few points of similarity, but, otherwise? OK. Yeah,
some effective writing, but I groaned at the end—like Peyer had a good
idea for a single issue and then figured out how to stretch it out.
Good writing and some nice art means this could have been better than
an Eh, but for that (well, and the lack of Beavis…)
BLOOD AND WATER #5:
You know, I like Judd’s work, really, I do. But this miniseries really
— um, how do I say this without using a dumb pun? Bit? Sucked? Stank?
Yeah, I guess stank isn’t a real easy vampire pun — stank up the joint
something fierce. For a guy trained as an artist, he seems to be getting
far too heavily into telling, as opposed to showing, his dramatic twists
and turns, and by the end, almost none of his vampire cosmology seemed
to make sense (If Adam ends up being the only vampire who can procreate,
then why does Nicky, another vampire, think she can have kids with him?
Why are the other members of the Tribe talking about creating offspring
with Adam, when their Tribe was created not through procreation but
through cannibalism? And, ultimately, why don’t I care about any of
the characters?) This was five issues of a very rough first draft that
an editor should have helped shape. Sorry, but from start to bottom,
this was Awful. Well, ditto.
I think the notion of it being a rough first draft is fairly accurate
– didn’t I read that this was written several years ago? Nice-ish art,
a wildly messed up story, means I’ll back you up on the Awful.
CAPTAIN AMERICA
#15: I think I’ve figured out the secret to
reading Cap – don’t READ it, just look at the pretty Jae Lee art. While
I don’t think we’re managed to reach the sheer absurdity of Ronald Reagan
as a giant space snake, this storyline is getting pretty damn close.
I don’t like this book, I don’t like Chuck Austen’s take on the character,
and I don’t like a single thing that’s happening here. All it has going
for it is the loverly art, and the gorgeous cover. My god, Cassaday
is outdoing himself. Other than that, though? Awful.
Wait. The point of this whole storyline was
to get Captain America so horny he’d do the nasty with a hot chick on
a deserted island, then have her stabbed just to see if Cap would get
pissed enough to kill someone? This brings up the important continuity
question: if The Interrogator has been in Lemuria since Cap woke up
and Namor fucked up his hand, how’d he manage to develop a strategy
based on the first four or five Friday the 13th movies? And
almost as important: can somebody get Chuck Austen some therapy now?
Please? Awful.
CEREBUS #291: I
will say this about the last few issues of Cerebus: you have
no idea what you’re going to get when you pick up an issue. This had
laughs, slapstick, some almost Acme-level poignancy, and a sudden
streak of maudlin sentimentality. (Shep-Shep? WTF?!?) Although Sim’s
continuing misogyny creeps me out, the obvious intelligence and power
of his work continues to hold me spellbound. A conflicted Good.
I’m less conflicted – this seemed like “return
to form” in my eyes. THIS is the Sim who is one of North America’s most wildly talented cartoonists, and
he shows it on almost every page here. Astonishing work, and I’m really
really glad to be able to say that it looks like the last year will
be able to score a Very Good.
CRIMINAL MACABRE A CAL MCDONALD MYSTERY
#3: There’s definitely points here where I
can’t tell which character is talking to which (although I like the
art in general), and while that would have me viciously pan most work,
I’m pretty much digging this. My major quibble: policemen’s stars aren’t
actually made out of REAL silver, are they? That doesn’t seem too likely.
Frankly, I had thought they were brass... as in “the top brass”. *shrug*
Not actually a major issue, but it bugged me a bit. A lowish Good.
Didn’t read issue #1. Didn’t read issue #2.
But this did a very good job of filling in the holes, so I gotta give
‘em points for that. But did you see that first Dark Horse issue of
Eric Powell’s Goon from a couple weeks back? That seemed to
mix comedy, horror, and emotional content with an ease this issue lacked
(this seemed like part of the pilot for one of those Sci-Fi Channel
original movies I get restless watching). To be fair, I think both
Niles
and Templesmith’s chops are getting better (this seemed nowhere as murky
as some issues of 30 Days of Night) but it didn’t really thrill
me, either. A high Eh.
DAWN THREE TIERS #1:
I never bothered reading any of the previous Dawn books because…
I don’t know, they just seemed like comic books inspired by the sort
of fantasy art you’d see airbrushed on the side of somebody’s van.
The first issue of this miniseries pretty much confirms that feeling
as we follow a soldier from post-Apocalyptic New
York to an SCA-style beach siege, with some strange mixture of true
love, goddess worship and EST holding it all together — it seems like
the type of comic book that’d be wildly popular in prison, I think.
Despite that, Linsner’s got some okay cartooning chops, and I think
a guy who’s still thrilled he bought a videotape of old Thundarr
The Barbarian episodes for a dollar is the last guy to throw any
stones at this stuff — which is to say I thought it was Good,
but unless you’re looking for more material for the side of your van,
or you just got out of lockdown, you might not agree. Really? I was pretty bored all the
way through – I don’t find the “lead”” to be especially compelling,
or interesting, and I really wanted more of Dawn, herself. Only for
the art, I’d go with a wavering OK.
DOMINO #3: I
really really liked some segments of Stelfreeze’s art here, but I just
can’t bring myself to be roused by the story at all. Really, it’s just
an expanded issue of X-Men Unlimited, just one of the nicer drawn
ones. Eh. Yah, the art was strong
enough to make me realize that Domino strongly resembles the Little
Rascals’ dog, Petey. Weird. The issue was otherwise unremarkable,
except for the ArmaJesuits, which made me laugh out loud. “Oh no, it’s
the DoomaProtestants!” “Quick, send in the Mecha-Amish!” Eh.
DOOM PATROL #22: This
book died as it lived — with great art and a story that meandered between
half-assed and kinda charming. I’m looking forward to what Tan Eng
Huat will do next. Eh. Yes,
although I would have preferred all of the characters (except Cliff!
Cliff always needs to survive!) bit the bullet. It’s called “Doom” Patrol,
ennit? Pretty art alone, sadly, (or unless married to character like
Batman...) can’t keep an audience these days. OK
EMMA FROST #1: Freakin’
Bi-Polar Marvel Cover Disorder. As I’m sure you’ve noticed lately, Marvel’s
covers are “designed for the casual reader” – that is, they don’t have
any real bearing to the specific insides of the book, instead attempting
to provide an iconic, general, shot to entice you to pick it up. Which,
actually, isn’t always a bad idea, or even close to it. Except in cases
like this. This cover screams “Hey fanboy!!! Come and wack it to me!!!”
while the insides are about a repressed prepubescent, flat-chested girl
in school. This, I think, is A Mistake. Actually, I have to say that
an on-going monthly series set before the character is even slightly
recognizable is also A Mistake, but what do I know? As your basic Mutant
Coming Out story, this was serviceable – a smidge better than X-Men
Unlimited level, but not THAT much better – but I’m absolutely disturbed
that we’ve already sold out at CE... at pretty high-ass levels... and
I KNOW it’s all because of that cover. Think about how hollow you’re
going to feel ten minutes later, kids.... OK.
I love how the interior artists do not understand what the words “flat-chested”
mean. (“You mean, a C cup?” “No, no. The girl is flat-chested.”
“Ohhhhh. B Cup?”) In fact, I honestly thought the whole dress-ripping
reveal was going to show off falsies which everyone would laugh at,
and thus justify how Emma would later come to resemble that terrifying
Greg Horn cover (and would be an appropriately awful experience)…but,
nope. I think there was some potential here (I think they’re shooting
for a watered-down Carrie, but I would’ve settled for Are
You There God? It’s Me, Emma Frost) but I don’t think they’re going
to hit it, no matter what scary stroke material they’re putting on the
cover. Eh.
FABLES #15: Good
stuff, although I’m getting a little tired of Goldilocks, oddly. Even
though it’s been many months in continuity since the Animal Farm
story, it feels like it’s too soon to me. That’s about the only beef
I’ve got with an otherwise top-notch book. A high Good.
I dunno, I have big problems with the coincidence
levels running throughout this one – “I showed up JUST as they were
driving away” left a sour taste in my mouth the whole rest of the issue.
A mild OK from me, I’m afraid.
FALLEN ANGEL #1: As
I think this column has noted before, we really really miss letter’s
columns. As we may NOT have specifically mentioned, we miss them far
far more in first issues, because, since there ISN’T any mail, creators
would have to vamp and spend some time talking about the creation and
the creators, and the goals they have, and the directions they might
go and whatnot. This is, I think, especially important when you’re starting
something Totally New. I mean, Emma Frost more or less speaks
for itself because I know a big chunk of the backstory already. I sure
as HECK don’t know any of that here. So, nowadays, comic companies ass-u-me
that you’re ALL OVER the ‘net, and that you read Newsarama and Pulse
3+ times daily... after all, THEY do. So you must, right? In fact, Newsarama
has a story on Fallen Angel that is almost exactly what used
to be in letter pages (well, except that this one is longer) – read
it here: http://newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=104265#post104265
-- Now I want you to read Fallen Angel #1 again, and tell me
if you got ANY of that. The setup about the city, the “gym teacher during
the day” thing, any of it? Because I didn’t see it in the comic. The
feature makes it sound intriguing – sounds like lots potentially to
play with.... but none of that actually made it on to the page in #1.
There’s really nothing to come back to for me, nothing to get me to
pull $2.50 out of my pocket next month... all of which could have been
changed if something like this story RAN INSIDE THE BOOK ITSELF. All
I see here are half-stated ideas, and some fairly egregiously punny
names (“Bumper Ruggs” for what looks to be a cliché bulldagger character?
Yeesh!), and that’s about that. If I was paying cash money on the barrel-head,
I can’t imagine I’d come back next month, so that translates to something
like a rating of Eh. Bri, did
you catch that weird triple-negative on page 9: “And you disapprove?”
“Of course! What mother wouldn’t?” “One unable to accept her son using
his natural gifts to bring a little temporary warmth in this cold world
to some desperate women in exchange for remuneration.” Actually wouldn’t
a mother able to etc., etc., be the one to not
disapprove? I spent more time reading this page trying to figure out
what David was actually trying to say than I did on the rest of the
book. From what I could tell, though, Peter David’s trying something
a little different for him which is laudable, although it could be done
better. (There’s enough stuff that seems wrong—like a male prostitute
that can actually make money just sleeping with women— that Baton Rouge
seems about as gritty as your average episode of Tiny Toons Adventures,
even with what may or may not be Hitler and Mussolini as adorable older
sidekicks). The art’s nicely expressive, though, and maybe, I dunno,
David’s rusty or something, so I’m gonna let this off with a gentle
OK, even though it kinda wasn’t.
FANTASTIC FOUR #500 (#71):
Most of this didn’t do it for me (I much preferred the Richards-Doom
showdown in FF #200—which pretty much proves I’ve been reading
comics for too long), but one of the pages that did work for me was
that last page twist. That alone did the trick well enough to merit
a Good. See, that, to me, was
just kinda stupid – isn’t the sorta point of Reed’s powers the complete
control over his physical state? Whereas I really enjoyed his learning
magic, and the Dr. Strange appearance, and, most especially, Victor’s
little rant about how Reed always fucked up – for the first time in,
like, ever, I actually sorta nodded my head along and went “Yeah, that
accursed Richards!!!” I’ll go with a low Very Good.
GREEN ARROW #28: And
in one issue, Judd manages to get right to the core of Ollie better
than Kevin Smith’s whole run, I think. The comeuppance should be fun.
Good. Well said. Winick’s managed
to keep Ollie a bit of a bastard (maybe even more than a bit, which
I think is good), Connor is still the voice of reason, and there’s the
book’s odd blend of social commentary and silly big monsterism. And
I thought the Birkie-wearing euro-ninja, a twist on ol’ what’s-his-name
from Miller’s first Sin City story, was cool. Color me fanboy
but I thought this was Good.
HUNTER AGE OF MAGIC #25: As
last issues go, I like this better than, oh, I don’t know, Doom Patrol,
but the grace note, lovely as it was, felt a bit flat to me. It kind
of pointed to some of the problems that I had with this book—it always
felt competent, yet rarely felt inspired. OK. At
least it “resolved” Molly and Tim’s relationship in a reasonably sweet
way. I’ll go with OK, too.
INCREDIBLE HULK #57: Can
you imagine being a “civilian” coming out The Hulk and thinking
“Y’know, I hear them there comical books is good stuff – I think I’ll
go try and find me a Hulk comic”, and then reading this? I mean,
sure, I know that even before the “and” that’s pretty unbelievable,
but of ALL the stories to do in the wake of the film, that they chose
THIS one? Crazy. Eh. I don’t
know, Bri. If a civilian liked the movie’s unique blend of head-scratchery
and ignorance of how the real world works, this might be right up their
alley. Admittedly, having the Absorbing Man be an unstoppable psychic
force is a bit like, I don’t know, bringing back the Wrecking Crew as
forensic scientists, but whatever. At least the situations Jones crafts,
dopey though they are, have enough suspense in them to keep me reading.
A kinda OK.
IRON MAN #70: A
new Zen koan for our age: is an ending a cliffhanger if you can’t tell
what’s going on? Teranashi’s storytelling was fine except when it came
to the action scenes (kind of a problem when you’re drawing Iron
Man), and Laws has a good handle on dialogue and character, but
has to trample believability a bit to get things going where he wants
(You can walk the entire length of Vegas strip without taking a step
outside, and when you do leave, the number of taxis keep all but the
most touristy or desperate from actually strollling the sidewalks).
As always with this series, there’s a problem hitting the right Stark/Iron
Man ratio but that’s par for the course. A high OK. I
really liked the Stark stuff, and didn’t like most of the Iron Man stuff,
so, yah, OK
JSA #50: Big-ass
multiple-threat dozens-of-cast-member storytelling is a really really
tricky art. This is one of the rare places where just the right balance
was set.... but I really do think the team needs to shrink massively
down pretty soon. Very Good. Good
point about the size of the JSA—they are pretty numerous, aren’t they?
I missed last issue, and maybe because I was more of a Marvel zombie
as a kid than a DC reader, I think I only caught about 70% of what was
going on this issue. And yet, I still dug it. This creative team has
turned out an impressive run of top-notch big-screen superhero comix
with an equally big heart. Really a stellar title. Very Good.
KINGPIN #2:
“Only a politician’s wife would know the mob is running drugs through
the JD gangs…” Yeah, that’s some highly confidential information all
right. Nobody but a politician’s wife would know that, you betcha.
Bruce Jones does for organized crime here what he did for the police
in The Call — he drops the ball. Although I think Marvel’s “neither
fish nor fowl” approach to genre comics is only going to work against
them in the long run (if you’re going to do a crime comic, for God’s
sake, just do a crime comic), that’s not really the problem here — stupid
continuity problem of Spider-Man and a young Kingpin being contemporaries
aside. The real problem is Jones’ laziness resulting in an utter lack
of verisimilitude. I don’t think I bought one scene or character in
this book — not the leader of the Saints, who apparently is in a gang
with only one other person, not the independently wealthy photographer
whose only concern is getting her book about New York gangs published,
and certainly not the Kingpin, who gives dumb lectures about early Christianity
and practices such subtle attention-avoiding techniques as actually
crucifying a guy in a church where all five organized crime leaders
attend. This is just embarrassingly dopey, which is a shame since the
Phillips/Janson art brings back memories of Miller and Janson’s Daredevil,
where far dopier events were staged in such a way that I believed them.
Gotta go with a low Awful here. I
stand in awe of your reviewing skillz, Jeff – I couldn’t possibly have
done better. Can you believe this is a monthly on-going title? Buh?
Awful.
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #81: Always
one of my favorite reads, month in and month out. What’s particularly
impressive is how Blackburn
and his team have managed to grow the supporting cast, in a way similar
to The Simpsons, so that when characters you haven’t seen in
a while show up, it’s satisfying — the recent appearance of Bob’s dad
is still cracking me up. If you’re a current or recovering gamer geek,
this is the book to check out. Very good. Though I’d be much happier to pay
$1 less and not have the other 22 pages (or whatever) of gaming stuff.
Very Good.
KODT ORIGINS 2003 ISSUE: This
issue a bit less so, if just because all the strips are stand-alone
and don’t have as much cumulative punch, but that BlackHands strip about
J.P. Morgan becoming a major deity was damn comical. Highly Good.
I thought this was a good “overview” of the
KoDT world myself, but, yah, it lacks some of the drive that the ongoing
stories do. Good here, too.
LIBERTY MEADOWS #32: I
sorta feel like Moonlighting here – the artificial way Cho is
“extending” (or breaking) the romantic plot just ain’t plausible. It
looks fuckin’ great (Cho can draw), but does anyone really care what
happens to the characters any longer? OK. That
panel of Frank kissin’ on Jen and rubbing her butt really grossed me
out. Although I think just the regular animal hijinks stuff has gotten
pretty old, Cho’s love triangle stuff flattens the human characters
so drastically, it feels yucky. I used to like these characters. Eh.
LOBO UNBOUND #2 I
never bothered much with Lobo comics, so this is pretty much
my first. It seems pretty criticism proof — no matter how stupid or
offensive the book gets, that seems to be the point. Fair enough. I
guess all I can say is it’s a shame obvious talent (Alex Horley is a
good enough caricaturist to be my pick for a Little Annie Fanny
revival, and Giffen retains his gift for crafting funny dialogue that
can inform without being an exposition dump) is wasted on just mindless
obnoxiousness. Definitely OK, and if you like this sort of thing,
you’ll definitely like it more. I really
liked the “Infidel!” sequence, but this doesn’t really add up to all
that much. OK from me, too. But, Jeff? You really MUST find a
copy of the Lobo Paramilitary X-Mas Special. That was a hoot
and a half, featuring a knife fight to the death between Santa Claus
and the Easter Bunny....
LOVE FIGHTS #2: I
was going to say “Thankfully, there are actually some super-heroes in
this one”, but that’s a statement that makes you get your ass kicked
on the schoolyard. I generally adore Andi Watson’s work (and I see flashes
of excellence here), but I do think that this is neither fish nor fowl,
and the hero fans won’t like the romance and romance fans DEFINITELY
won’t like the hero stuff, and it kind of ends up appealing to no one
at all. Too bad. Eh. There might
be more to it than just that. I dig Andi Watson’s stuff but either
I’m having trouble following some of his character beats and scene transitions,
or he’s having trouble making them. (I had to read page 22 a couple
times before it finally made sense, for example). Doing a romance comic
version of Marvels seems like a good way to draw a readership
in this market, but the superhero stuff makes the rest of the cartoony
material feel a little more broad and flat (I just rolled my eyes over
that spit-take on page 12) where it used to feel light and comical.
It’s kind of like the superhero stuff is taking up the crucial amount
of cartooniness I used to accept in Watson’s work, if you see where
I’m getting at. OK, but I’m not sure I’d be coming back to it.
NIGHTWING #83: All
middle, but nicely done. I hope this stuff gets collected because I
think it’ll read better there, though: $2.25 for a seven minute read
is an expensive high. Good. Yah,
well done – I think Devin’s found her legs on the book by and large.
And hopefully, hooooopppppefulllly, the cop stuff really is all done
now. I’ll go with a high OK, though, because it was the breeziest
book of the week.
POWER COMPANY #18:
Our third final issue this week, and here Kurt
took the tack of letting the team remain “in play”, if any one else
wants to use any of them any time soon. Kinda doubt that’ll happen,
but what the hey, huh? My only real issue? No resolution on the Witchfire
thing... or explanation, even. Ah well. OK. I
didn’t really read enough of this series or Kurt’s other recent stuff,
so I’m not the best person to bring this up, but does he have something
against a homegrown supervillain? It seems like every time I turn around,
the stories are either (a) invasion from space; (b) invasion from
another dimension; or (c) “the threat from within” (betrayal/infighting).
It may sound petty, but I’m not worried about the threat posed by cults
who worship giant sentient keychains from Dimension X. I’m just
not. I know there’s always a problem coming up with menaces super-powered
enough to threaten a whole team of heroes, but I get really bored easy.
And I think that’s why I couldn’t really care much about this last issue,
even with the Haunted Tank coming in to save the day. Sorry, I suck.
Eh.
PUNISHER #29: I
have a theory. Some time shortly after Garth moved to America, Jimmy Palmiotti got him
real drunk then poisoned him, cut open his skin and is now living inside
of Garth’s body, churning out the scripts, and collecting the paychecks.
That’s one of the only ways I can explain why I haven’t gone “HAHAHAHA!
Fuck Yeah!” to a Garth script in months. This is just...bland. Like
his heart ain’t in it. Hopefully, it’s just a phase. Eh.
Ha! Yeah, the Jimmy Palmiotti/Ed Gein thing
might explain this story’s “gay Walking Tall” angle—it’s interesting,
but seems unlike Garth to me (I don’t remember if he’s ever treated
homosexuality as anything but a punchline in his other work). The Cam
Kennedy art is as ugly as a bucket of butts, and I don’t see why The
Punisher is taking things so slow (other than the plot needs him to)
but I’m kind of liking it. It may not be quality Ennis—hell, it may
not be Ennis at all—but it’s still unlike anything else on the stands.
A reluctant OK.
QUEEN & COUNTRY #17: Top-notch
stuff. I love Speed’s work, and Rucka has his characters nailed. Unlike
most “all middle” issues, this look at the jockeying involved to get
an operation green-lit didn’t read like marking time — it was a fascinating
read in its own right. Very Good. Yah,
what you said. This was top notch stuff, and like I said last issue,
Speed and Rucka really complement each other astonishingly well. Very
good.
SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN #1: I
don’t get it? Why start over a book at #1 with EXACTLY THE SAME CREATIVE
TEAM, with a story that UTTERLY IGNORES ALL CURRENT CONTINUITY? Oh,
and using a villain that has become TOTALLY OVEREXPOSED (again) in just
like 6 months.... Is it me? A head-scratching OK, from me, because
it’s not like this sucked, but just that I can’t even begin to fathom
what they’re thinking. Good point.
I think Jenkins and Ramos got the short end of the stick on this whole
relaunch thing (wasn’t this supposed to be the book Kevin Smith was
going to take over?), because all of your points are good ones, but
might not be applicable if this had come out, say, six months ago when
the fill-ins on the other book started. For me, I like Ramos’s art,
but it just reads like Remedial Spidey-Man. There’s nothing
to stick to my ribs here. Eh.
STORMWATCH TEAM ACHILLES #13: This
book continues to improve issue by issue and the new artwork is great.
And kind of interesting to read so soon after Q&C because
I think Wright and Rucka are shooting for similar vibes on their titles.
This still has a lot of room for improvement, but I’m cautiously optimistic.
Good. I’ll give you a ditto there.
I do, however, wish they’d focus on one thing at a time. OK
SUPERMAN AND BATMAN GENERATIONS III
#7: Wow. Now that’s one helluva info-dump.
Why did we even actually read the first six issues, again? I’d say Awful,
but I’m not even sure this was an actual comic book as much as a Cliff
Notes. Yeah, as someone who didn’t
read the first six issues (issue #1 and, maybe #3 or something) I thought
the info-dump made things sound enticing, but I know if I had read them,
I would’ve been bored. (Too bad, because the OMAC army had me salivating…)
The whole project is kind of like John Byrne’s Earth X—the
sort of continuity-tangled flibberty-gibbit that only seems neat if
you’ve been reading comics for twenty years or longer, and seems so
much cooler on paper than it does in execution (uh, which is also on
paper, so I know that’s not the best use of that particular cliché.
Sorry). Deceptively OK to my eyes, but I know Byrne better than
that.
TROUBLE #1: So
I read this earlier in the week and thought it was crappy and vile,
and talked to Hibbs who didn’t think it was nearly as vile as I did.
(Hibbs had described it as “Porky’s Meets Dirty Dancing”
and I had described it as “A Clockwork Orange meets Dirty
Dancing.”) So I waited a while and reread it, and, yeah, okay,
maybe not so vile. But I seem to remember Mark Millar saying in interviews
he had done some background reading on the romance genre: “I did read
a lot of those novels, most are absolute rubbish, but this difference
is that this quite good.” Now, not only is Trouble not “quite
good,” I can’t help but suspect that when Millar says “I did read a
lot of those novels,” he meant “I sat on my ass and watched Dirty
Dancing again on TBS.” Because I can’t help but think teen girls
don’t sit around and read dialogue like “Besides, if I keep taking the
skanky ones, you’re never gonna get yourself laid, right?” and swoon
to themselves. Even today’s horny teen comedies (the closest I think
Millar got to a “romance novel” during this project) typically pride
themselves on taking any male characters who act sexually aggressive
at all and repeatedly humiliating them. I think my problem is I actually
bought into Millar’s line of crap about trying to create a book for
“the other 53% of the human population.” Because Trouble is
really just for horny guys of all ages, whose idea of a “romance” book
is a fantasy where they can boast about not caring if they’re dancing
six inches apart because they could “still reach…with a couple to spare”
and the girl is going to be amused rather than incredibly skeeved out.
(And, again, Mark Millar thinks there’s nothing wrong with a nine year
old reading that because “nine year old kids know other kids in their
class who may be in this kind of situation that the kids find themselves
in. It's not done distastefully, it's just done realistically, so there's
nothing people would have to worry about their child reading it.” Yeah,
Mark. I know lots of nine year olds who go off to resort camps during
the summer to score chicks and earn extra money spitting in people’s
food. Oh, those crazy summer nights back when we were horny and bragging
about our larger-than-six-inch cocks to the girls we danced with and,
you know, nine. How those memories kept us warm through the
long, hard days of fourth grade. Good times, my friend. Good
times…) I’m sure I’m just bitter and partly to blame because I didn’t
have my bullshit goggles on when I read Newsarama that week, but, pretty
pictures or no, this first issue just reads like super-cynical Ass
to me. Yuck. No matter what else we
do, you’ll be writing a review for each and every other issue of this
series. Man, that was a rant! Me? I thought it was pretty bad, but I
think that’s because it’s not much more than a Porky’s sequel,
except they’re not going to show us any titties, which kinda makes you
wonder what the point is. In terms of “girl’s adolescent fiction”, I’m
not qualified to judge – but Sue Riddle, another Comix Experience worker
bee, and one who I generally find to be... unextreme, said she thought
if she was a preteen she’d probably buy it and like it. So, who knows?
Certainly, media in general is more “sexualized” than when either of
us grew up, and I can certain imagine this fitting into the fantasy
of a modern 12 year old girl (though not a 9 year old!) – remember that
kids aren’t generally interested in protagonists of their own age group;
their fantasies go for a few years old, in general. I mean, when I was
12, I wanted to be Spider-Man, not Robin.... Anyway, I’ll go with Awful,
because if I want a Porky’s, at least I want to see some titty!
ULTIMATE X-MEN #35: *Shrug*
It’s perfectly fine, but I kinda find myself thinking this isn’t organic,
like the X-appearance in USM seems to be. A strong OK.
Good point, though I think Bendis does such
a great job with Spidey, I’m actually glad he’s here. Don’t know how
the arc is shaping up, but I’m hoping it won’t just be a waltz around
the Ultimate universe (no matter how amusing that scene with the Black
Widow was). OK.
WOLVERINE SNIKT #3:
Someday people are going to look back at the American comic industry’s
attempts to replicate manga and laugh until their asses fall off. Whatever.
Eh. Wait... but this IS manga.
I mean, it’s a Japanese creator and all – it’s not like X-Men: Pheonix
or whatever. What I thought was weird was that this could easily have
been the first issue, what with it being nothing but set-up and info
dump and all. I give it an Eh, too, but really J....it’s cause
it’s alphabetically the last book and you’re dying to stop (just like
me), right? Actually, I gave it an Eh
more because I don’t think my inability to care had anything to do with
an actual limitation on the part of the book, but rather because I think
Wolverine in an alternate universe is about as exciting as Batman giving
pedicures, but I could be the only one who thinks so. Certainly, the
author seems more committed to the ideas in this mini than Xisle,
Bruce Jones’ similar “Wolvie-in-never-never-land” mini that I think
Jones just pooped out of his butt. As for the manga thing, I’m probably
wrong but it seems to me a Japanese creator doesn’t make it manga, any
more than, um, I don’t know, Joss Whedon directing, say, an episode
of Iron Chef makes that American television. All art develops
from its context, of which the creator is only a part. The page limitation
of manga, to take just one example, makes for shorter “issues” than
American comics, and that may allow for the quicker shifts in tone than
what we see here (to say nothing of manga’s greater popularity, which
I think both is both a cause and effect of the “educational” aspect
I see in a lot of manga, and more rickety examples I could pull out
of my butt). Anyway, yes. I am tired. Let’s put this sucker to bed…
For
Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that
CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely
to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which
I try to read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like most of the
Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident
[this can include being shorted by Diamond as well]; 4) Porno [oh, like
you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks
that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I
care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore.
You decide which is which. There’s also the occasional “whoops we forgot
it!” in here as well...
21
DOWN #11
ARCHIE #538
BETTY & VERONICA #190
BLACKBURNE COVENANT #4
BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #80
BUNNY TOWN #2
GEN 13 #11
INVINCIBLE ED #3
JUGHEAD #152
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE ILLUSTRATED #24
MAD MAGAZINE #432
MYSTIC #38
NIGHXA #1
SCOOBY DOO #74
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #125
STRANGERS #4
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ANIMATED #2
TRANSFORMERS ARMADA #13
THOR #66
WAY OF THE RAT #15
And,
for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs,
magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t
read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally
attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week,
since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
ALTER
EGO #26
ANIMATION MAGAZINE AUG 2003
ANIMERICA EXTRA AUGUST 2003 VOL 6 #8
BATMAN NINE LIVES SC
BATTLE ANGEL ALITA LAST ORDER VOL 1 TP ANGEL REBORN
BATTLE ROYALE VOL 2 GN
BROM DARKWERKS 12 MONTH 2004 WALL CALENDAR
CINEFANTASTIQUE VOL 35 #4 AUGSEP 2003
FRAZETTA 12 MONTH 2004 WALL CALENDAR
GREEN ARROW THE SOUNDS OF VIOLENCE HC
HELLBOY 12 MONTH 2004 WALL CALENDAR
IN THE SHADOW OF EDGAR ALLAN POE SC
JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE #207
LEES TOY REVIEW JUL 2003
MARIAS WEDDING GN
MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE VOL 1TP SHARD OF DARKNESS
PUNISHER VOL 4 FULL AUTO TP
R CRUMB 2004 12 MONTH WALL CALENDAR
STAR TREK COMMUNICATOR #145
STAR WARS CLONE WARS VOL 1 THE DEFENSE OF KAMINO TP
SUPERGIRL MANY HAPPY RETURNS TP
SUPREME THE RETURN TP
TOYFARE X2 WOLVERINE MOVIE TOY CVR #73
TRIPWIRE MAGAZINE VOL 5 #3
VERTIGO 10TH ANNIVERSARY 2004DESK DIARY
VICTORIAN TP ACT 3 SELF ESTRANGEMENT
WICKED VOL 1 OMNIBUS TP
WOLVERINE LEGENDS VOL 4 XISLE TP
This Week’s TP recommendation is:
Supreme The Return,
for that Kirby tribute issue alone. Though let’s hope they managed
to buy a better scanner this time out… Agreed,
so since you covered that, I’ll go with the Battle Royale Vol
2 GN – Giffen’s script is really helping out an already strong
story.
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