The
Savage Critic: July
2nd 2003
By Brian Hibbs
Welcome
back, my friends, to the show that never ends...
OK,
work behind me, I can Critic again. Hoorah, and shit.
Next
week it sounds like Jeff and I will co-write the Critic again (I always
like those the best), and then, because I’ll be at San Diego (3:30 –
4:00 on Saturday at the IDW booth -- #2042 & 1943 – come laugh at
me as I sign autographs for Tilting at Windmills), Jeff made
noises that he’s going to take the week after solo. He’s a brave brave
man.
I
suppose it’s a little tacky this week because I (mostly) skipped last
week, and definitely missed the week before, but I suppose I should
remind you that you can always be generous and support this ad-free
and pay-free endeavor by PayPal-ing a donation to brian@comixexperience.com. One of
these days, I swear, we’ll get around to figuring out how to have that
little official graphical link thing (He said, looking in Jeff’s direction),
but until then, just go to www.paypal.com
and make a donation and feel better about yourself. Thousands of you
read this; tens of you support us.
Anyway,
let me get to this so I can begin my weekend!
100
BULLETS #46: Oh me of little faith! Turns out this IS connected to the
“overall story”, and here’s the exposition dump to prove it. I am a
fickle bitch of a reader however, because this was my least favorite
issue of this arc. OK
3
GEEKS SUPER SIZED SUMMER SPECTACULAR: Definitely cute, and the piling
of the origins was handled better than one could really imagine it would
have been. Thing is, I feel a little weird having a book in my store
that lionizes another retailer (Chuck Rozanski in this case) – not that
I don’t respect Chuck, for I do, but, to be quite technical, he’s competition,
and asking retailers to effectively sell an ad for another store is...
well, it’s a trifle weird, doncha think? No real harm or foul, but I
thought more about that than the actual content (which, like I said,
was cute). A low Good.
ACTION
COMICS #805: Just to give you a sense of how far the Super-books have
fallen, we’re down to single-digit sales on almost all of them. This
issue of Action is probably the worst offender – I ordered one (1) copy
for the racks, and as of 7 PM on Saturday night it’s still there. Comparatively,
we sell well over 100 copies of Batman or X-Men. Superman
should not be doing that poorly. And why is it doing so poorly? Because
it’s incomprehensible nonsense, like this, the conclusion to the Zod
storyline, which had me paging through it as fast as I could so I could
be done with it. This was crappy and wrong, and while the death at the
end was probably a good idea so we never ever have to think about this
story again, it was still hamfisted and icky in execution. Awful.
AGE
OF BRONZE #17: I admit to not reading this, nor, really, wanting to
read it as a serialization. It looks god-damn great, and I’m dutifully
buying them, but I won’t be reading this until I’ve got a chunk of other
issues to read as well. Just works better that way. Incomplete.
ALIAS
#24: Jeff thinks I’m some sort of super-genius for predicting this was
a Purple Man story – but what else could it be with the title like “Purple”?
Well, I suppose it could be about Jen’s horrible problems with Prince...
Anyways, what I enjoyed the most about this was how it really underscored
that the Avengers all love her and would welcome her back in a second,
but that the problems are all HERS. You don’t really get this type of
dysfunctional personality in most ongoing comics, and it’s really fascinating
to watch. I think that I dig Alias the most of Bendis’ ongoing
works. Very Good.
AMAZING
SPIDER-MAN #54: Mm. The MJ scenes were too precious and clever, the
You’re-a-bad-mans scenes with the mob boss were too strident and righteous
and the here’s-how-you-beat-the-baddie conclusion was pretty much Spider-Man
ploy #16. This arc just didn’t work for me. Eh.
ARKHAM
ASYLUM LIVING HELL #3: 22 pages of origin of Humprey Dumpty (or whatever
his name actually is – my copy is back at the store); not bad, really,
but I just don’t think we need to know every detail of such a minor
character’s life. One thing though: he puts back things broken, yes?
That’s his shtick? And he’s the part-time maintenance guy in Arkham?
Ohhhhkay..... The real chilling scene wasn’t the reveal on his dead
mother, it was the prostitution scene with Magpie and Doodlebug. That’s
going to stick with me a lot longer than any of the “main” action of
this book. A strong OK
AUTHORITY
VOL 2 #3: Yeah, I don’t think I could care less about this; these aren’t
the characters I liked, just shallow copies. Awful.
DETECTIVE
COMICS #784: I like the Golden Age Green Lantern tons, but I woulda
liked to see a little more movement here – not much really happened,
and as a single reading experience I just shrug. The Josie Mac backup
was fine, but a little too lightweight. And unsatisfying issue, overall.
Eh.
ELEKTRA
#25: See? Last issue she was Death on Wheels; this issue she seems to
have a hard time getting near Queen Incompetent and Hated, then falls
for the third or fourth oldest trick in the book at the end. I want
to like this, really I do, but blah. Eh.
ETERNAL
#2: *shudder* Here’s the real thing: would this story be as effective
without the overt sex and the gratuitous gore? I say yes. Awful.
EXILES
#29: This was basically fine, nothing really to say either way. OK
EXTINCTION
EVENT #1: This one really made me think of “old school” Wildstorm comics
– like in the Image days; and I don’t mean that in a good way. Cardboard
characters, implausible scenario, overly-noodly art that needs better
fundamentals. Thumbs down. Awful.
FORMERLY
KNOWN AS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE #1: The “Bwha-ha-ha” League was amusing
enough for it’s time, but I think a lot of us have some pretty fond
memories of it. This recaptures that mood fairly well, but, for me at
least, I don’t really care any more – that day has passed. At least
it’s not like the “new” Ren & Stimpy on TNN which is embarrassingly
awful – this was of high quality, just of high irrelevance. OK
GI
JOE TRANSFORMERS #1: I stunned myself by actually liking this OK –
I mean, there’s only so much you can do with Army Guys versus Giant
Robots, but this was, at least, unobjectionable, and the story went
from A to B adequately well, and I think this is the very definition
of Journeyman work. A strong OK
GO
BOY 7 HUMAN ACTION MACHINE#1: It’s not really that bad (though the art
is a little ugly), but this whole Rocket line of books just has “DOA”
written all over it, doesn’t it? I think what it might be is that Dark
Horse just ain’t an action publisher, but they seem to want to keep
launching action-based LINES (like Comics Greatest World) – the fact
that it is a LINE suggests to the outside observer that it’s actually
corporate created, and not creator-initiated. No idea if that’s TRUE
or not, but that is how it SEEMS. This mighta worked OK as a mini-series,
or a series of minis, but as the first issue of an ongoing monthly of
the flagship book, I’m pretty sure the whole line will be cancelled
before year two is up. OK, but the market really wants more than
that from a line.
JSA
ALL STARS #3: Again, the back up story wholly eclipses the front. I
think we might be like that all the way through this one.... A strong
OK
JUSTICE
LEAGUE ADVENTURES #21: Maybe I missed some animated episode with the
Legion (in fact, I know I did – on Superman Adventures, right?), but
I don’t see what this has to do with the founding of the Legion at all
(I mean, yes, so she’s Saturn Girl’s great great grandmother or something,
but how do these EVENTS lead to Legion?), and without that, that kind
of kicks the legs out from the end, which kinda makes the whole front
of the story a little pointless. While this is still more readable than
the ‘real” League currently is, it’s not really by all that much. Eh
KITSUNE
TALES #1: Fine fine action art from Andi Watson; nice retelling (?)
of myth by Woodrow Phoenix. I quite liked this, despite the bit of sticker
shock at the price. Very Good
LANSDALE
& TRUMANS DEAD FOLKS #3: I was going to same “limp ending” but how
else could a B-movie like this have ended, really? Minor work here.
Eh
NEW
X-MEN #143: A perfect blend of jibber-jabbery writing and incomprehensible
art makes this the first issue of X-Men I couldn’t even get all the
way through in a real real long time. Awful.
PARADISE
X #12: Two different customers came up with this at the counter
and said “Oh, thank god it’s over!”. I felt kinda bad that I had to
remind them there’s one or two (I forget) post-number issues to come
(“A” and “X” I think?); Gods below, Earth X was so so so very
good, and this was so so so very Awful.
RADIOACTIVE
MAN #7: Lighter and less substantial than most parody-type superhero
comics usually are, despite some really good creative teams working
here (Templeton, Barta especially); Can’t say why especially besides
that maybe the Bongo heroes work better as background characters to
RM himself? Eh.
RAISIN
PIE #2: I don’t get this book. I mean, I know Ariel and Rick are a couple,
but their art styles and story choices just don’t go together at all.
I also didn’t think most of these stories had much of a point, or illumination
of any kind, which is a shame because both are very talented cartoonists.
Eh.
RUBBER
NECKER #3: As is Nick Bertozzi (He used to be my rep at DC before he
started cartooning full time, too) – and my problem with Nub is that
his stories meander along too much. I think he needs to focus more on
plot than mood and character and cartooning, all of which he’s got a
good grasp on. The first story came real close, but the rest of the
issue was pretty much a waste in my eyes. Still, a strong OK
for the first part.
SENTINEL
#4: Starting to not work for me; he knows it’s a killing machine, it
hasn’t shown any “remorse” (or Iron Gianty “I am not a gun” type stuff),
so why is he rebuilding the thing? There’s no emotional connection that
I can see on the page... Eh
STRAY
BULLETS #32: Fantastic, chilling stuff. Lapham is really on form lately.
Excellent.
SUPERMAN
BIRTHRIGHT #1: I don’t know what I expected, but it really wasn’t this;
perhaps it’s that I want to read about Superman, not the politics of
fake African nations – or perhaps it’s that it doesn’t seem that Clark
is learning anything here that would put him in the path to become Superman....
I mean, this kid could put the costume on right this very second, don’t
you think, and he’d be great. It looks great, it is well written, and,
certainly, I came to it with probably too many expectations, but when
it comes to handing out the grade, I’m having a hard time getting over
a high OK
TUPELO
#1: “The World’s Greatest Junkie Super-Hero” is a great cover line,
but there’s nothing even remotely “super hero” in here so I wonder what
they’re thinking? I never had a punk rock phase, so 95% of this was
wasted on me. Awful.
ULTIMATE
SPIDER-MAN #43: Kinda clumsy timing that this is running at the same
exact time as the crossover in Ultimate X-Men, but, this was tons of
fun. Very Good.
UNCANNY
X-MEN #427: *shrug* Eh
USAGI
YOJIMBO #67: Top notch action comics from Sakai. It’s really insane
this doesn’t sell in the top 50... yes, yes, I know it is black and
white, and is anthropomorphic, but if you’re not reading it, you’re
really missing one of the best monthly comics on the shelves. Very
Good.
VERTIGO
POP BANGKOK #3: Starting to get bored now... probably an issue too long.
Eh
X-MEN
UNLIMITED #49: Cutish one-off Bill Willingham story, but ultimately
inconsequential. OK
For
Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that
CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely
to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which
I try to read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like most of the
Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident
[this can include being shorted by Diamond as well]; 4) Porno [oh, like
you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks
that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I
care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore.
You decide which is which. There’s also the occasional “whoops we forgot
it!” in here as well...
BATMAN
NEVERMORE #4
BATTLE OF THE PLANETS #1/2
BATTLE OF THE PLANETS #11
BETTY & VERONICA SPECTACULAR #61
BURGLAR BILL #1
CHARM SCHOOL #8
DEVILS FOOTPRINTS #4
ELIZABETH BATHORY #5
GHOST IN THE SHELL 2 MAN MACHINE INTERFACE #5
HARLEY QUINN #34
LOONEY TUNES #104
MIKE HOFFMANS LOST WORLDS OF FANTASY & SCI-FI SP ED #2
NECROWAR #1
OH MY GODDESS #99
R A SALVATORE DEMON WARS VOL 2 #3 EYE FOR AN EYE
ROBOTECH LOVE AND WAR #2
SAVAGE DRAGON #108
SCOOTER GIRL #2
SHONEN JUMP VOL 1 #8 AUG 2003
SPIDER-GIRL #62
STAR WARS EMPIRE #9
STAR WARS REPUBLIC #55
TERRY MOORES PARADISE TOO #13
TURA SATANA #1
ULTIMATE ADVENTURES #4
VAGABONDS #1
WAR MACHINE 2.0 #3
WEAPON X #10
And,
for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs,
magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t
read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally
attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week,
since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
2000
AD #1343
2000 AD #1344
ANIMERICA EXTRA JULY 2003 VOL6 #7
BEAUTIFUL KILLER TP
CHALLENGERS OF THE UNKNOWN ARCHIVES VOL 1 HC
COMIC ART MAGAZINE #3
COMIC BOOK ARTIST #25
COMIC BOOK MARKETPLACE #102
DC COMICS THE WORLDS FAVORITECOMIC BOOK HEROES TP
DRAW #6
ENEMY ACE WAR IN HEAVEN TP
FANTASTIC FOUR LEGENDS VOL 1 UNSTABLE MOLECULES TP
G FAN #63
INSIDE VINEYLAND TP
INU YASHA VOL 14 TP
IRON WAGON SC
JADE SCREEN VOL 1 #5
JUDGE ANDERSON TRIAD GN
JUDGE DREDD APOCALYPSE WAR DLX HC GN
LAST OF THE INDEPENDENTS GN
MAD XL #23
MASTERPLAN GN
SAME DIFFERENCE & OTHER STORIES VOL 1 TP
STARLOG #313
SUPERMAN ALIENS II GODWAR TP
SWEATERWEATHER GN
ULTIMATE MARVEL TEAM-UP VOL 2TP
WRETCH VOL 2 TP DEVILS LULLABY
This
Week’s TP recommendation is:
I still haven’t had a chance to read Last of the Independents
(though it looks awfully nice – and Larry should get an Eisner for “best
manufacturing idea” for that outer cover for the book; that thing’s
swell!), so I’m going to go with Enemy Ace: War In Heaven
by Ennis, Weston and Heath. Fine fine looking book, and it reads great
too.
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