The Savage Critic: June 27th, 2001 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

Not much of a preamble this week – we went to the movies last night, so I’m late on my writing again. The movie? A preview of Kiss of the Dragon, starring Jet Li. The boy can kick ass, but, sadly, the story sucked ass. If you edited it down to nothing but the handful of fights (maybe 15 minutes max), you might have a good movie. Certainly the plot wouldn’t suffer. Wait for DVD, RENT it, and FF to the good parts, then return it to the store, claiming the disk is scratched. No, really.

ACTION COMICS #780: As if the cover saying "kneel before..." wasn’t enough of a clue... Anyway, continuation of my last 5 weeks of Superman reviews: These are just not good comics, and the OWAW plot is failing, utterly failing for me. Awful.

ADVS OF BARRY WEEN 3 MONKEY TALES #3: At least it only took two comics to get to a good one this week. (DAMN YOU, ALPHABETICAL ORDER!) This rocked – which is great because #2 was... well, it was kinda sweet.... which isn’t what I read Barry for. THIS ish was funny, foul, and creative. Hurrah! Excellent.

BATMAN #592: OK. "....but she’s actually a crime boss!" Mm.

BATMAN BEYOND #22: Eh. Batman has nothing to do with this comic, except for figuring out the villain’s power, which I figured out... well on page 16 of LAST issue.

BIRDS OF PREY #32: Awful. The whole plot turns on Dinah being a willful idiot, which kinda ruins the whole thing for me. Plus, I don’t CARE about Jason Bard.

BITCHY STRIPS ONE-SHOT: Good. Only problem is these were designed as weekly strips, which kinda gives one Bitchy overload reading them all at once.

CODENAME KNOCKOUT #2: Awful. Won’t last a year. Hell, it’s CE’s worst-selling Vertigo book, and we’re the "Vertigo store", AND in San Francisco, which, if you expect a Robert Rodi comic to sell, it is here. It might work with a different artist...someone more cartoony.

DEADPOOL #55: Perfect example of not learning from past mistakes – this is part two of a purely gratuitous Punisher crossover (with Bradstreet covers, and all), which can’t do a thing but dilute the value of Punisher (Again!). It wasn’t even funny. Awful.

DEFENDERS #6: Eh. "Stupid hulk" is funny, sometimes, and Kurt has a decent handle on him... but, I dunno, the whole thing isn’t clicking for me.

DISCIPLES #2: Eh. #1 came out long enough ago that I forgot everything about it... but this doesn’t seem to match any memory of what I have of it. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but on a "two issue test", this would stay on the rack from here on out for this reader.

FINDER #22: Excellent! Jeff Lester has pushed the hell out of Finder at CE... but the first two TPBs didn’t really work well for me. Too much happening, and who was who and why wasn’t clear at all to me. THIS issue, though, I see all of that potential and more. Excellent "jumping on" point, and absolutely worth you checking out.

FLASH #175: OK. Weather Wizard 2.0 is a nice upgrade, but the "whose child is it" story is sorta played.

FUTURAMA COMICS #4: Eh. Movie parodies are fine, I guess, if they’re funny. This Apocalypse Now parody really wasn’t.

GEN ACTIVE #6: Last issue. And not a moment too soon. Awful.

GHOST RIDER HAMMER LANE #1: Hrm. Nuttin’ happens. That’s no good for a first issue. Eh.

GLOOM COOKIE #8: Eh. I liked the first six, but now the font they’re using pulls me right out, and I find I don’t really care about Goths.

GREEN ARROW #5: Good. Although, for the first half a dozen pages I was wondering "Why is Batman telling Ollie’s new sidekick chick all of his secrets?" Took me several pages to realize, no, it’s BATMAN’s new sidekick chick ("Spoiler")... who only appears in Robin, anyway. Some sort of earlier dialogue clue might have been helpful.

GUNWITCH OUTSKIRTS OF DOOM #1: Good. Though I wonder how #2 will work with no eve, and a completely silent protagonist.

HELLBLAZER #163: OK. Not much else to say.

JACK STAFF #5: Very good. I didn’t read the first four (sold out before I had a chance – yes, bad, bad retailer!), but this was exceptionally cool. Paul Grist might be an acquired taste – and I’ve acquired it this last year.

JSA #25: Good. Its nice to see Carter Hall back... even if I STILL don’t understand Hawkman continuity.

LEGION WORLDS #3: Good. Paul Rivoche turns in a stellar art job. Probably the best art I’ve seen in a LSH book since Jeff Moy left. I wish he could draw the regular on-going.

LITTLE ENDLESS STORYBOOK: I admit, I haven’t actually read it yet. Too many words, not enough time! But it LOOKS fab, and it is FLYING off my shelves.

MARVEL KNIGHTS #12: Eh. Wake me when its over.

MECH DESTROYER #2: Awful. I’ve read this before, I know I have! Hm, Shockrockets, maybe?

OUT THERE #2: The crucial second issue (that’s three this week), and I’d say , "Well, interesting enough to come back for #3", but not interesting enough to guarantee making it to #6. OK

PROMETHEA #15: Excellent. I couldn’t figure out how to read the mobius strip page, though. Promethea is always a formalist’s dream book, and there are even nice solid helpings of actual plot in this one, so that readers put off by the formalist experiments can follow along too.

SIMPSONS COMICS #59: Eh. The "original" version of this story on the TV show was much funnier. Heh, though the Flander’s punchline at the end made me smile.

SPAWN #109: Eh.

STAR WARS #31: Awful. Who ARE these people, and what are they doing in a comic called "Star Wars"? Am I the ONLY one who ONLY cares about Luke, Han, et al. when it comes to Star Wars?

SUPERGIRL #59: Near-rape scenes, and superheroes with concussions? That was... different. OK, I guess, though the concussion thing seemed to have been shrugged off a little fast.

SUPERMAN OUR WORLDS AT WAR SECRET FILES #1: $5.95?!? Fuck me! Awful.

TANGLED WEB THE THOUSAND #3: Awful. Garth is good at many things... super-hero stories aren’t one of them. This is called "taking the piss", yes? I did like the art though.

ULTIMATE MARVEL TEAM UP SPIDER-MAN & IRON MAN #5: Eh. Should have definitely been a one-parter. This book is the clearest sign Bendis is spreading himself a little thin, even though with the artist he has lined up, this should be the BEST of the "Ultimate" comics.

ULTIMATE X-MEN #7: Eh. I think I’ve figured out why UX isn’t working for me – it is humorless, and there isn’t any hope within. Clever ideas, and reimaginings, but it is so very bleak.

UNIVERSE X #11: Awful. Earth X was so good too. *sigh* I have negative hopes for Paradise X.

WOLVERINE #165: Awful. Why the hell is this still being published? Clearly no one at Marvel has any idea what to do with Wolverine solo.

WONDER WOMAN #171: Eh. Using Vanessa that way is just... wrong. Very very very wrong.

X-FORCE #117: Eh. Following up the promise of issue #1 with... very little, really.

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], and 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother.

AREA 52 #4
BETTY #101
BTVS #34
CERES CELESTIAL LEGEND #1
CHASTITY SHATTERED #2
DARK ANGEL #24
DEMENTIAS BIZARRE BONDAGE #4
DEXTERS LABORATORY #24
DREAMS OF THE DARKCHYLDE #5
ELVIRA #98
GUNDAM WING EPISODE ZERO #3
JUGHEAD #138
LODOSS WAR CHRONICLES HEROIC KNIGHT #10
MEATHAUS #4
MERIDIAN #13
NO NEED FOR TENCHI PART 11 #3
RAZORJACK #2
SLOWPOKE CAFE POMPOUS
SMALL FAVORS #3
VICTORIAN #9

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, and magazines that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

2000 AD #1242
2000 AD #1243
AKIRA VOL 3 TP
ANIMERICA VOL 9 #6
ASTERIX AND THE ACTRESS HC
ATOMICS KING SIZE GIANT SPECTACULAR VOL 3
BLACK WIDOW TP
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER SPIKE AND DRU TP
DAREDEVIL NINJA TP
DARKNESS VOL 2 HEART OF DARKNESS TP
DC COMICS GUIDE TO WRITING COMICS TP
DISTANT SOIL VOL 3 THE ARIA TP
EDWARD SCISSORHANDS JAPANESE ACTION FIGURE
FARSCAPE #1
GHOST BATGIRL RESURRECTION ENGINE TP
HOW TO DRAW MANGA COMPILATIONTP
JYAAKU THE NIGHTMARE DLX ACTION FIGURE
KAZAN VOL 1 #3
LONE WOLF & CUB VOL 10 DRIFTING SHADOWS TP
LUIS ROYO EVOLUTION SC
MAICO 2010 VOL 1 #3
MASOCHISTS
PREVIEWS VOL XI #7
RIP KIRBY VOL 11 MANS BEST FRIEND
RIP KIRBY VOL 12 PACK OF LIES
SARAI VOL 1 #1
SFX #79
SPAWN ULTRA ACTION FIGURES SERIES ASST 19
STAR WARS JEDI COUNCIL ACTS OF WAR TP
TOMB RAIDER NEWSSTAND ED #3
TOMIE VOL 1 #2
WEED VOL 1 #1
WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE #119 (22 pages of Elektra #1... and, actually, it is a whole lot better than I expected)

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Well, a OGN this week – Masochists by Nick Bertozzi, published by Top Shelf. ‘bout time too that Nicky hits an appealing style and comes up with a solid mature project.

Average Rating for the Week: 3.50 exactly (of 7.00)

Pick of the Week: Hm, hm, hm. Finder #22, I think. Go check it out.

Pick of the Weak: Nothing obvious this week, and I guess I can’t give it to Kiss of the Dragon, seeing as it isn’t a comic, so, let’s give it to the damn-it-for-doing-it-for-the-money comic Tangled Web #3.