The Savage Critic: June 13th 2003
By Brian Hibbs
Welcome
back, my friends, to the show that never ends...
Right,
so I’m writing this (as always) on Sunday, so Happy Father’s Day to
you and yours. This is my last FD where I’m not a father, so the next
one should be interesting....
It’s
also (Shock! Dismay!) my birthday today which really means that I’m
breaking my sole cardinal rule about work, to whit “Don’t do it on your
birthday!” – but, ah what the hell, these reviews won’t write themselves.
Next
week, there will be no Critic. Not my fault though – Jeff is on a trip,
so there won’t be anyone to post it/format it/do arcane HTMLy stuff
to it. Actually this works fine for me, because next week I’ll have
to write the newsletter, since, again, Jeff’ll be gone, which means
I’d be burned out on comics-related writing anyway.
And,
for your early early heads-up, the week of San Diego, there won’t be
a Critic either [Unless I'm insane enough to do
one solo again this year--Jeff], because, well, I’ll be there. IDW
Publishing is actually going to have me signing at their booth (for
the Tilting at Windmills TP -- http://www.idwpublishing.com/books/book_tilting.html),
which at once makes me laugh maniacally, and be utterly terrified. I
mean, this is San Diego, the real deal in comics shows, and I’ll be
all professional ‘n shit. Anyway, Saturday, apparently at 3:30, you
can find me at the IDW booth, and mock me, or hand me presents, depending
on your mood.
Mm,
what else? Oh, yah, the shilling! You can certainly feel free to send
us a little money for providing you with such spectacular reading pleasure
each week (25% of it will go to Jeff Lester, too!) – go to www.PayPal.com
and send money to brian@comixexperience.com
-- you’ll help make me feel like I’m not wasting my time week after
week writing all of this! I mean this week, there’s some 45 titles I’m
“reviewing” – name me one other columnist that does this and who gets
paid NOTHING from banner revenue/hosting/whatever! THOUSANDS of you
read this.... so dig a little, you bastards! Would you rather we sold
ads?
Anyway,
on with the show....
ADVENTURES
OF SUPERMAN #617: Apparently Mxyzptlk isn’t enough (And, folks, it’s
pronounced just like it is spelt – Mix-YEZ-pittle-ICK), so now they’re
twins. Y’know, when Byrne brought Mxy into Superman continuity, I really
liked it... in fact, at one point I was actually collecting JUST the
Mxy appearances... so that makes this even more tortuous and annoying
to read. I’d rather go read World’s Funnest again, I think. Eh.
AIM
TO DAZZLE #1: Really the only story I just loved in Dean Haspiel’s newest
issue was the one about the icemaker – but even the stuff that I didn’t
love is at least strongly competent. A high OK
AQUAMAN
#7: Not doing it for me at all. All about the high concepts and very
little about the characters. Not that the characters are all that exciting,
really. Eh.
ARTESIA
AFIRE #1: Third series about the Warrior Queen, and it is very much
like the first two – lush painted art, with a story a notch or three
above an average issue of Heavy Metal. A lot of thought has gone
into this world, but, much like Heavy Metal, I’m not overwhelmingly
entranced by it. I’ll give it an I-want-to-like-it-more-than-just-OK
BATGIRL
YEAR ONE #7: Yah, digging this. Really fab art, and the story has gotten
back to the fun side – I really liked the scenes at the end with Robin.
I’d like very much to see “Year One, Month Two”, in fact. Very Good.
BATMAN
LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #168: Bill Willingham writes a one-off issue
– it is slight, with a punchline I saw coming on page 2 – but there
were a few clever scenes (esp. the one with the gang). A high OK
BLOOD
AND WATER #4: Alright, finally the plot begins (Because, really, the
whole “let’s make a dying man a vampire” concept has nada to do with
this conclusion, even in an emotional-underpinning kinda way), though
it does seem a bit pulled outta Judd’s butt. *shrug* What do I know?
I’m selling more copies of this every issue – in fact, we sold out of
this latest issue on Thursday morning, so I guess people like it. I,
however, don’t. A very weak Eh.
CAPTAIN
AMERICA #14: If it wasn’t for the scrummy Jae Lee art, this would be
fishwrap. I can’t even take one more panel of “Captain America: Crybaby!”,
I don’t think. A high Awful (as opposed to the weak Eh)
CEREBUS
#289 & #290: I don’t get it? I thought the scripture stuff was over?
There’s only 10 issues left and we’re wasting more space on this babble
and nonsense? Man, if it wasn’t ONLY TEN ISSUES LEFT, I’d drop it in
a heartbeat. But I’ve been following Cerebus since issue #19, and I’m
in all the way through to #300, damn it. Awful.
CHIMERA
#4: Er, what I don’t understand is why not just nuke the Emperor’s ship,
too? Oh, right, so there’s a clear antagonist for the sequel.... Other
than that nagging little detail, I’ll go with Good, especially
because that art is so finger-lickin’ good.
DARK
DAYS #1 30 DAYS OF NIGHT SEQUEL: But, “sequel” only in the sense of
following one character as they leave the original town and situation.
Which is kinda the preferable way TO do a sequel, really. I liked this
quite a bit, even if it’s just essentially “Stella the Vampire Slayer”.
Very Good.
DARKNESS
VOL 2 #4: Got nothing to say, really, besides the ol’ Don Thompsonism:
If this is your kinda thing, you might like it. It’s done well, but
I don’t care at all. Eh
DOMINO
#2: Hm, Ditto, really. This is more or less just an issue of X-Men
Unlimited padded out into a mini-series. But who cares if Domino
finds her mother or not? Well done, for what it is, but Eh.
FABLES
#14: Another solid issue – I especially liked the fencing scene, and
the Liliputian cop. Very Good
FILTH
#11: And this is why I love Morrison sometimes – not only is this over-the-top
insane (the chimp scenes rule), but it also provides a clear framework
for what the hell has been going on all of this time. Staggeringly good
work. Excellent.
FINDER
#31: And after praising Speed last week for that fine job on Queen
& Country, boom, out comes an issue of Finder. Stand
alone, if you’re interested in sampling this great comic, here’s a decent
place to jump in. Very Good.
GOTHAM
CENTRAL #8: Why does it seem that things cluster? Is it a human instinct
to find order in the chaos? I mean, look at all of these good reviews
in a row. I’ve been really enjoying this arc, and this issue is the
best of them yet. I can’t begin to express how much I’m enjoying this
book with it’s seemingly effortless blend of police story and humanity
for it’s leads. Here’s a book that REALLY deserves an audience twice
as large as it currently has. Excellent.
GREEN
ARROW #27: Good job here, too – it won’t win any awards, but this is
solid hero-stuff. Good.
GRRL
SCOUTS WORK SUCKS #4: Geez, have I even hit halfway in this week’s “reviews”?
I need to speed this up.... A Very Good Mahfood comic, whodathunkit?
HERO
#5: Hrm, I really liked this... but it seems to me that with the need
for the dial to pass at the end of each issue we run a risk of having
a lot of darker endings like this one. I also strongly think that either
they need to mix up the cover artists, or Van Fleet needs to use a wider
palette of colors – all five covers kinda blend on the racks.... Anyway,
Very Good.
HUMAN
TORCH #3: Yah, I was a little premature in dismissing issue #1... though
I hear that it’s already cancelled as an ongoing? OK
HUNTER
AGE OF MAGIC #24: Fine but unexciting, pretty much custom made for an
Eh.
INCREDIBLE
HULK #55: It’s a quarter. It’s got an attempted rape scene in it. Puny
human’s head hurts. Eh.
IRON
MAN #69: That was actually a pretty clever ending to what was a wretched
beginning. Huh. OK
JSA
#49: There’s probably a little too much piling on of “things get worse”
in this arc, but it’s doing it damn well for a comic with 546788923
characters. Very Good.
KINGPIN
#1: Supposedly a monthly? I can’t see how that’s going to work... This
is a perfectly fine comic, but exceptionally unnecessary. Marvel’s just
pumping out the books, aren’t they? OK
KODT
MINISERIES PX SPECIAL REG CVR VOL 1 #3: That’s “Knights of the Dinner
Table” and “Previews Exclusive” for those of you who don’t speak Diamond-ese.
And yes, it’s as funny as ever. Very Good.
LOVE
FIGHTS #1: Andi Watson’s doing a monthly? I never thought he was that
fast.... well, thank god, if he is. Terrific stuff, as always. Very
Good.
MARVEL
UNIVERSE THE END #6: “And then everyone lived happily ever after, and
it was all like a dream....” Yeah, for what it is, it’s good, but if
the rumor of a Thanos ongoing are true, then this’ll end up being a
cheat, won’t it? OK
NIGHTWING
#82: Not much to say – I do hope they stop Dick being a cop (but then
I’ve said that before) – but otherwise, strongly competent comics here.
A strong OK
NOBLE
CAUSES EXTENDED FAMILY ONE SHOT: Physically, it looks like a TP, so
it’s possible you saw it on the rack and didn’t realize it was all new
material. This was the strongest NC yet, I think. The style and
stories changed every few pages so I never got bored, and virtually
all of the material was Good or better.
POWERS
#32: Very solid stuff, though I wonder where it’s going, and how many
more of these “through the ages” deals we have to go through before
we get back to the main plot – which had left the world in a pretty
screwed place, after all. Still, Good.
PS238
#2: Excellent, funny cartooning here. Almost enough to make me wish
he’d stop Nodwick and just focus on doing this monthly. Almost.
There’s a nice wide cast here, and the core concept of a superhero school
is strong enough to give 100 issues of fodder, easy. Very Good.
PUNISHER
#28: Man, is it me, or does it seem like Garth is phoning these in?
Hell, if it wasn’t for 1 or 2 little bits I almost thought that someone
else was writing this, and they just put his name on the cover. I’m
personally dropping the book now, because that’s five lousy issues in
a row. Awful.
SILKEN
GHOST #2: Nice smooth comics, just the way Martial Arts stories should
be. Good.
SOJOURN
#24: My interest is flagging – the art is as fine as always, but it
just feels like they’re millllking the plot. I imagine at this rate
it will probably get to #50 before the big confrontation, but as a reader,
I think I want to see that by the end of the year. A weakening Good.
STORMWATCH
TEAM ACHILLES #12: What happened now? Issue #11 seemed like it ended
too fast, like there was a page or two missing from the printed version.
#12 opens as though, yes, there was a page or two missing from the printed
version of #11. Weird. But, anyway, that doesn’t really matter because
3 pages later and it’s a completely different story with no real relationship.
Oddly, I really enjoyed the issue. Shame it didn’t have Sienkievicz
inks, but it still looked really good. So, hrm, I’ll go with a low Good
for the issue.
STRANGERS
IN PARADISE VOL III #58: See, and I really really liked this issue.
I feel like I’m getting reviewing whiplash from Terry! Very Good.
SUPER
HERO HAPPY HOUR #3: This is pretty funny stuff, but I think it needs
to be a bit denser – I feel like I’m reading “vignettes” for a “story”
price, y’know? A very high OK, but this could easily reach VG
at some point.
SUPERMAN
AND BATMAN GENERATIONS III #6: Hrm, I think we’re off the rails – mostly
just blah-blah-blah with very little sense that the original setup matters.
Almost more interesting was how all of the house ads were clumped together
in the back... all 10 pages of them. What the fuck is the point of that?
I actually felt like I had to go back and count the story pages to make
sure it wasn’t shorter than usual. Eh.
SUPERMAN
RED SON #2: Kick ass! Yeah, this is pretty much exactly how Elseworlds
should be done. I think I might even have to go back to Holy Terror
to find one I liked as much as this. What’s funny is you can sorta tell
it was written ages ago – bits feel like the “old” Millar. I don’t say
it very often, but, yah, that was worth the $6. Excellent.
TITANS
YOUNG JUSTICE GRADUATION DAY #3: Holy mother of god was this shitty!
Cynical, manipulative, thrown together to relaunch Titans and
Outsiders, it descends to the lowest form of Trying to Get Attention:
killing off characters.
Now,
there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, as long as there’s a reason
and an emotional payoff of some sort. When Crisis killed Barry
Allen or Linda Danvers, it worked, because it seemed that their death
MEANT something.
Not
so here.
Look
at the plot: a robot woman suddenly appears....from somewhere (it is
never explained where)....to do..... something (it is never explained
what). Our Teams fight her, lose, then a Superman robot gets loose (wha--?!?)
and Our Teams fight THAT, and lose, so the robot woman deactivates the
Super-bot and then she dies. The end.
I
mean, it’s not like the Titans (or Young Justice for that matter) even
needed to really hang around for the story, right?
Anyway,
WHY does Star labs just happen to have a homicidal Superman robot (presumably
one of many from the dialogue) just hanging around its basement? “For
study?” Muh? Studying what exactly? “Well, we want to see how badly
our staffers would get slaughtered if it ever reactivated” They kept
it safe? What, with TWO layers of tissue paper around it? I mean, if
they want to check its computer, OK, but why is it laying around completely
assembled where, apparently, anyone could get to it? Howcum Superman
never told Star how to deactivate the ‘bot? Sheesh, for that matter,
why are there even Superman robots? Shouldn’t Superman more properly
build a CLARK KENT robot? Even if he DID build Superman robots (and
yes, I know he did), why on earth would he build them strong enough
to KILL HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS? I mean, Troia is as tough as Wonder Woman,
since she, y’know, IS her. What kind of a bastard is Superman anyway?
Shit, look at him at the funeral shot – not a glimpse of remorse on
his face. No “Gee, sorry, Dick for killing your first love....”!
Killing
Troia like that was cheap, unnecessary, and extremely distasteful. It
doesn’t particularly even make sense, and I think I shall steadfastly
pretend it never happened.
This
comic fails on just about every level, and I don’t think one can give
it a rating other than Crap.
TOKYO
STORM WARNING #1: Having been a little wobbly on the last few Ellis
mini’s, I’m astonished to say that I thought this one was kick ass –
astonished because this sounded like the least of the concepts. Giant
robots fighting giant monsters? But it really really really worked.
Very Good.
TRAILER
PARK OF TERROR #1: The title is precious, but it suffers from the same
“We’re trying to duplicate the ECs, but no one will ever succeed in
that” problem that most horror anthologies fall prey to. Sadly mediocre
work. Eh.
ULTIMATE
X-MEN #34: We’ll see where Bendis goes with it, but this first issue
is essentially an issue of Ultimate Marvel Team-Up – one of the
better ones at that. A strong Good
For
Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that
CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely
to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which
I try to read as it is collected; 2) “Kids” comics like most of the
Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident
[this can include being shorted by Diamond as well]; 4) Porno [oh, like
you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks
that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I
care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore.
You decide which is which. There’s also the occasional “whoops we forgot
it!” in here as well...
AKIKO
#50
BETTY & VERONICA #189
BIPOLAR #4
BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #79 THEWIND & THE CRANE
BRIAN PULIDO LADY DEATH #5
BTVS CHAOS BLEEDS ONE SHOT ART CVR
EVEN MORE SECRET ORIGINS 80 PAGE GIANT
GEN 13 #10
GRENDEL GOD & THE DEVIL #5
HOT MOMS #1
JUGHEAD #151
LAST KISS #4
LITTLE SCROWLIE #2
LITTLE WHITE MOUSE OPEN SPACE#4
MICRONAUTS #8
NEGATION #19
SCOOBY DOO #73
SIGIL #37
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #124
SOUL ASSASSIN ONE SHOT
SOUL OF A SAMURAI #1
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES #10
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES ANIMATED #1
TOMB RAIDER #31
TRANSFORMERS ARMADA #12
X-MEN RONIN #5
And,
for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs,
magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t
read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally
attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week,
since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.
ALAN
MOORES ANOTHER SUBURBAN ROMANCE GN
ALAN MOORES WRITING FOR COMICS GN
ALEX TOTH READER VOL 1 SC
ALIAS VOL 3 THE UNDERNEATH TP
ALTER EGO #25
COWBOY WALLY SHOW SC
ELEKTRA VOL 2 EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN TP
EXILES VOL 4 LEGACY TP
FEMME FATALES VOL 12 #3
FRENCH KISS #6
GIANT ROBOT #29
GREEN LANTERN BROTHERS KEEPERTP
HEAVY METAL JULY 2003
JESSE JAMES SC
JIM WOODRING CRAZY NEWTS TRADING FIG ASST
JOHHNY JIHAD GN
LEES TOY REVIEW JUN 2003
MAD XL #22
MARY JANE HC
POSE FILE REG ED #1
PUNISHER VOL 2 HC
THUNDERCATS RECLAIMING THUNDERA TP
TOYFARE HE-MAN CVR #72
VIDEO WATCHDOG #96
This
Week’s TP recommendation is:
Interesting mix of choices this week. Writing for Comics is probably
an essential for any library, as is the DC reissue of Cowboy Wally
Show. I also quite liked the contents of Exiles Vol 4 and
Punisher Vol 2 HC, but I think the nod this week will go to Alias
Vol 3, despite the awkward ending. It is a strong set of issues.
|
