The Savage Critic: June 13, 2001 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

Nice week this time – small but full of comicy goodness.

ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #593: Well, OK, not this. Wow, they don’t even have their own comic, but already I never want to read about the new Suicide Squad ever again! Pity, too, because I really liked John Ostrander’s version. Then again, that launched out of "Legends", so I suppose there’s hope. Still, is it just me, or is Superman only barely readable these days? Eh.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #32: OK. I’m not buying this whole "totem" thing, but I thought, the "Well, have you ever TRIED talking to spiders?" thing was kinda funny. Still, JMS’ revamp isn’t doing much for me.

APHRODITE IX #0: Awful! Holy Christ, what was that? 12 pages of blah-blah, followed by another 12 pages reprinting the covers you already have if you’ve bought the other issues of the series. The comics art wasn’t even very good... which is the least one expects from a Top Cow comic.

AZRAEL AGENT OF THE BAT #79: Eh. Every month I ask what the point of this book is. And every month, I still can’t figure it out.

BATMAN OUR WORLDS AT WAR #1: Awful. Batman and Science Fiction simply don’t mix. ‘specially when Ed Brubaker, who is DAMN good at writing normal people, tries to do work in a genre he’s obviously not comfortable with.

BLACK PANTHER #33: OK. I think this book is losing focus again.... or maybe I just need to read bigger chunks. The TPB of the first five also came out this week, and it's really quite good.

COLONIA #6: Good. Really, I was seriously tempted to take points off for being... a year between issues? And yet providing a synopsis, or even reminders in the story of who is who. But, still, it’s a nice little comic that clearly has had a great deal of thought put into it. Here I am, the morning after reading it, and I can recall certain scenes fondly and vividly, and that’s always good!

DETECTIVE COMICS #759: Eh. Besides the Mad Hatter abandoning hats (WTF!?!), I had hoped the bodyguard thing might have gone somewhere fresh. I halfway expect her to become the new Batwoman or something. The Search for Catwoman backup was alright, I guess, though not much happened.

GREEN LANTERN #139: Eh. I have to hand it to Judd – he tried to do a morally ambiguous story where there weren’t easy answers (a damn rare thing in mainstream hero comics) – but I simply didn’t care about any of the characters enough to make it work.

HARLEY QUINN #9: Awful. Another "Why is this being published" bat-title.

HELLBOY CONQUEROR WORM #2: Excellent! Jesus, is Mignola the man, or what?

IMPULSE #75: Eh. Time travel stories make my head hurt!

IRON MAN #43: Awful. Worst art in a Marvel comic I’ve seen in a LONG time, too.

JLA BLACK BAPTISM #4: Awful. God, that was a waste of 4 minutes.

JLA INCARNATIONS #2: OK. I liked the main point of the story, but I thought the opening and closing Batman pages were pretty far OOC.

JUST A PILGRIM #4: Eh. Garth’s phoning it in.

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #56: Very good. Damn, I like this comic – it's rare to have a comic that’s actually FUNNY. Now, sure, you may have to be an ex-RPG geek like me to fully appreciate all of the humor, but if you’ve ever slung a 20-sider, this is one of the best comics on the stands. If it had better art, I don’t think it would work.

LUCIFER #15: Very good. Why the heck didn’t they overship THIS issue? This might be the one that would get new readers committing. *sigh*

METABARONS #13: I’ve decided to just wait for the trades (which I love) – too mind-expanding to read on a monthly-basis.

MONARCHY #4: Good. Why wasn’t THIS Doselle writing the first three issues? May be too late for the book, sadly.

NIGHTWING #58: Awful. Damn, Chuck Dixon frustrates me! I suspect if he wrote ONE (maybe TWO) comics a month they’d really rock. Instead he writes four (or whatever) and undercuts the dramatic tension of the stories with sloppy plotting.

OBERGEIST RAGNAROK HIGHWAY #3: Eh. Liked the first two...but this SF thing doesn’t feel right to me.

PUNISHER #1: Very good. Ahahahahahahahaha. Garth and Steve treat it like a laugh, and so it is.

PVP #2: Eh. Nice clean cartoony art...but gaming-based comics should stay away from Superhero parodies, IMO. (See Nodwick...last week was it?)

STAR TREK DIVIDED WE FALL #2: Eh. Stiff and awkward... and I think that anytime you resort to phaser battles in Trek, something is wrong.

STARMAN #80: Excellent! Robinson ties up most of his loose ends, and leaves a nice set of toys for other people to play with. That’s really rare.

STRANGEHAVEN #13: Good. It moves way way too slow as a periodical comic, but he’s clearly going somewhere with this.

STRANGERS IN PARADISE VOL III#41: Good. I really liked the scene with the priest, but sloppy self-editing sporked the end of the book for me – the issue SHOULD have ended exactly one page before it did.

SWAMP THING #16: OK. Starting to grow on me a little, though I thought a bit too many characters ran on-screen at once for this to work properly.

TRANSMETROPOLITAN #46: Excellent! Spider has a human side? Wow, that’s just wrong! In a good way.

UNCANNY X-MEN #395: OK. Competent, and if EVERY issue of the X-Books was this passable, the franchise would never been in such bad shape. Having said that, it’s really standard fare, and there’s no chance I would spend my own money on it.

VIOLENT MESSIAHS #6: Awful. Jesus, where’d the structure go? Did those first half-a-dozen pages add ANYTHING to the story? I thought the first five issues were decent, but this one was poo.

WARREN ELLIS BAD WORLD #1: OK.... but it’s not really a comic, IMO. This would have been better served as an essay or something.

X-TREME X-MEN #2: Crap. Oh my Stars and Garters! There’s not a SINGLE cliché-free page!!! Not one. Setting a new standard for laughable writing. Burn it!

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], and 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother.

BETTY & VERONICA #163
BIZZARIAN #8
DAHLIA VAMPIRE #1
DARK REALM #4
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS #2
FORCE SEVEN #6
FUTABAKUN CHANGE VOL 6 #4
GIGANTOR #11
INSANE CLOWN POSSE PENDULUM #9
INU YASHA PART 6 #2
MARTIAN SUCCESSOR NADESICO #23
MONSTER WORLD #2
NO HONOR #4
SAILOR MOON #32
SCOOBY-DOO #49
SHADES OF BLUE #1
SONG OF MYKAL
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #98
SPIDER-GIRL #35
VAMPIRE PRINCESS YUI VOL 2 #4
VESPER #1

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, and magazines that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

ACTION FIGURE NEWS AND TOY REVIEW #104
ANIMERICA EXTRA VOL 4 #7
ARCHIE AMERICANA SER BEST OF 80S
ATOM ARCHIVES VOL 1 HC
BLACK PANTHER THE CLIENT TP
COMICS JOURNAL #234
DEATH STATUE
ESSENTIAL FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 3 TP
ESSENTIAL X-MEN TP VOL 4
EVE PROTOMECHA VOL 1 SINS OF THE DAUGHTER TP
FANGORIA JULY 2001 #204
FLASH RACE AGAINST TIME TP
GOLDFISH THE DEFINITIVE COLL TP
NODWICK CHRONICLES COLL NODWICK VOL 1 TP
PULP VOL 5 #7
SAILOR MOON STARS VOL 2 POCKET MIXX GN
SOUNDTRACK TP SHORT STORIES 1990-1996
STAR TREK COMMUNICATOR #133
TOYFARE #48

Y'know, only Toyfare could get away with doing a fumetti strip entitled "Ozzy and Harriet" with the dialogue: "Hey! Who bit off the heads of these escaped slaves?!?" Sorry, that's just funny!

SPECIAL BONUS REVIEW: Its not comics, but its my damn column. On Sunday night I attended a concert. I am, as I may have said before, starting to get a little old -- concerts, which used to be something I LOVED going to, started getting a little...well, tired. I'm old, as I said :) But there's one band that will ALWAYS get me out of the house, the GREATEST ROCK AND ROLL BAND OF ALL TIME.

I am, of course, speaking of the legendary SPINAL TAP.

Now, I know some of you folks probably think Tap is a prank of some kind -- heck, the guy at the show who sold us our tickets (yes, we had to buy scalped tickets...damn show sold out in like 90 seconds) had never seen them before, and was all "what do they do? Is it funny?" -- but, no, its not a joke. They rock. And rock hard.

This is the second time I've been able to see them (they almost never tour) -- last time was... oh, jesus, eight years ago when Break Like the Wind was released. Now, then it was funny -- Tap came down on wires... that didn't quite reach the stage; When Nigel did his 5 minute guitar solo, they showed a film of what David and Derek were doing backstage (getting haricuts, going off to a fancy french restaurant, etc.); they had this HUGE Marshall Stack, with a little teeny tiny (no more than 3 inches tall) Marshall Stack balanced on top of it) -- that was a many-city tour, with a "big" budget and what not... But THIS time, it was just Tap -- Hard Rocking.

The Warfield theater does "all ages" shows, so they're pretty hardcore about security -- they had five people checking people through, in a hall that I doubt "seats" 3000 (we stood the whole show) -- I've never been patted down that thoroughly in my LIFE. Still, my security chick was pretty cool: "Are you carrying any tape recorders, cameras, cucumbers, or weapons?" she asked. Damn fine way to start the night.

Tap was proceeded by the Folksmen, who did a 3 song set, including a harmony-filled version of the Rolling Stone's "Start Me Up" (for those that don't know, The Folksmen are ALSO portrayed by Michael McKean, Harry Shearer and Christopher Guest -- this time in "folk" drag: big sweaters and "bald wigs" -- and this REALLY shows that these guys ARE serious and real musicians)

Then the boys burst out on stage -- it was loud, it was driving, and it was sweet sweet rock and roll. Yep, they have a drummer and a keyboardist accompanying them...but its Nigel, Derek, and David who do most of the work.

And that IS Tap...you don't really think of them as "Michael, Harry, and Chris" when they're up there doing the show -- they ARE Tap.

They ran through almost all of their "greatest hits" (Opening with "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You" and closing with "Big Bottom"), though they played with the arrangements quite a bit -- they did "Sex Farm", for example, as a funk version that would have made George Clinton proud. They also played two "new" songs: "Back From the Dead" (which can be found as a MP3 on the 'net), and "Short and Sweet"... which I think I've heard before, but can't remember the source. [If anyone knows where I can find it, be sure to drop me a line (brian@comixexperience.com) ] And, yah, they did "Christmas with the Devil" Woot!

Oh, plus ax-god Joe Satriani came out and played a few songs with them (how the HELL he hits those notes BELOW the fret bar, I will NEVER understand)

It was only a six city tour this time -- now over by the time you read this -- but if you EVER have a chance to see them live, RUN to the show. They FUCKING ROCK!!

Plus, especially for a over-30 like me, it was pretty damn liberating going to a show where it was OK for me to pump my fist in the sign of the devil all night. I'll tell you how good it was: after the show, we seriously discussed (well, ok, SEMI-seriously) getting our old band, Profound Intrusion, back together.

After the excellent show, my buddy Dave Marshall and I hung around the stage door (YES, Warren, I'm a fanboy!) with a reasonably small crowd of people -- maybe 20 in all. And I was lucky enough to get the legendary David St. Hubbins to sign my ticket. Sure, he was DRESSED like Michael McKean, but I knew the truth.

"You fucking rock!" I said to him, as he signed my stub. "Yeah, well, San Francisco always has the best audiences," he replied.

Ain't that the truth.

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Jessica Abel can be a deft storyteller, and I think I much prefer her doing these shorter stories...so, let’s give the award this week to Soundtrack. Go forth and buy.

Average Rating for the Week: 3.79 (of 7.00) (toldja it was a good week!)

Pick of the Week: Starman #80. A class end to a class series.

Pick of the Weak: X-Treme X-Men #2. Everyone involved should be ashamed.