The Savage Critic: June 7th, 2002 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

Y’know, we get 3-4000 hits a week on the Savage Critic, and virtually no one ever sends mail. *cry*.

It’s not for me, you understand – but last week Jeff Lester wrote the Critic, and only ONE person bothered to say anything about that. Which, y’know, surprised me a bit. You people really should send Jeff some love: without him we wouldn’t even have this website or ANYthing.

Personally, I thought he did a great job. That’s jeff@comixexperience.com. You go tell him the same, eh?

Right, so, I’m back for now. Big week, not much time to write, so let’s go:

30 DAYS OF NIGHT #1: Horror comics don’t usually work very well, really. Hard to make things genuinely scary in 2-D with panel borders. But Steve and Ben hit upon enough of a killer high-concept here (Vampires invading a town in Alaska where it is night half of the year), that there really isn’t any way to avoid loving this. So I didn’t. Very Good

ALIAS #10: You gotta love a week where the first two alphabetical books kick some mighty ass. This is a very nice little one-off illustrated script (its not exactly comics, but let’s not split hairs, eh?), and was a wonderful character study of JJJ. I’d give this the coveted "excellent", if it weren’t for the completely inconsistent lettering – bordered boxes appear and disappear, undercolor on the lettering being applied awkwardly and hard to read at places, etc. – it’s like, I dunno, watching The Conversation through a tinny drive-in movie speaker. So... Very Good

AMERICAN CENTURY #15: And so much for the hat trick. It wasn’t bad or anything, but too many characters that I don’t really care about running around doing things that don’t matter to me. Eh

AVENGERS #54: The "end" of the Kang storyline, and while the twist at the end was somewhat interesting, I feel it undermined the conclusion of the arc itself. I don’t really understand Kang anyway – you’re a time traveling warlord with tens of thousands of soldiers behind you... wouldn’t YOU launch your attack 6 months before Loki tricked the Hulk into forming the Avengers? I know I sure would... Anyway, Eh

CALL OF DUTY THE BROTHERHOOD #1: Mixed feelings here. The 48 page package for the standard $2.25 is really an excellent value, and doing a "real" heroes book about firemen and cops and paramedics is a pretty good idea that should have happened before now. However, adding the supernatural element seems wildly out of place to me, and, more than that, undercuts the "reality" of the drama substantially. I also think doing three concurrent mini-series is probably doing too much too fast, but there ya’ go. Still, I’ll give this first issue a Good

CARTOON FLOPHOUSE #1: 80 B&W pages for $5 in magazine format is a pretty good deal, really. Most of this is by a Michael Aushenker who has an appealing cartoony style, and, apparently, produces pages quick and steady. Problem is the writing – he’s just not that good. Stories spin on lame jokes, or, worse yet, don’t go anywhere at all. ‘bout the only story in here by Michael that I cared for at all was "Mark Twain meets Flambo" (a semi-Plastic Man riff), which was absurd enough to engage me. Far better is the dozen or so pages by Xeth Feinberg which has an excellent cartoony style that I might call Herge on crank. Overall I don’t think I can muster much more than an OK, but this is certainly worth a look and page through if you see it on the racks of your Local Comics Shop.

CRUSADES #16: Let’s get the good stuff out of the way: I’m enjoying the "Venus vs. her Mom" stuff, especially since there was some actual characterization rather than just stereotype in this issue; and seeing Anton get his comeuppance is kinda fun. However, blah, the main story seems to be spinning on Venus doing stupid and improbable things, and making huge logical leaps that I don’t think she’d make. Plus, y’know like always, the use of SF geography is way way way off. Eh

DEADLINE #3: Sharp turn into metaphysical territory. Which, it seems to me, is contrary to the initial premise of a reporter in the Marvel U. Eh

DETECTIVE COMICS #771: Some nice character stuff, but the arc is dragging on way too long. OK

DOOM PATROL #9: Going into Grant Morrison territory is usually a bad idea, unless you’re at least as good at is as Grant is. Yummy art, but the story is too much of a wank for me to care that much. OK.

EXILES #14: Good issue if you want to know all about this alternate version of the Mimic... but there’s no story here. At all. Anywhere. Eh.

FANTASTIC FOUR #56: For a time-marking fill-in issue this was fine. OK

FILTH #1: Clearly this is meant to be read as a series, so any "review" seems rather pointless at this stage of 1/13^th of the story. Still, I liked what was here, quite a bit, and, while I don’t know what’s going on, I’m curious enough to find out that I give it a Very Good.

FRED THE CLOWN #3: More pantomime fun. The newspaper segment ran a bit longer than there was content for, but Landridge is a fab artist who deserves more fame and fortune that the comics industry seems to want to give him. Good

GREYSHIRT INDIGO SUNSET #6: The big wrap up... but I don’t care too much. Eh

HAWKMAN #4: Setting the first arc in an alternate dimension, or whatever this was, was probably a tactical mistake. This is fine, but it’s not very compelling, all told. Let’s see what next month’s guest star brings to see if the series will have any legs... Eh

HIGH ROADS #3: Great art, forgettable story. OK

JLA DESTINY #1: What to the who now? I love Mandrake’s art, but it seems pretty wasted in this elseworlds nonsense about an alternate JLA. There aren’t any likeable characters, and no one is even close enough to "our" versions to give you a reason to care. For the price, I can’t help but give it an Awful

JUSTICE LEAGUE ADVENTURES #8: If you can buy, even for a second, the Weather Wizard taking out half the league on their home turf, then I guess you might enjoy this. For me, this was the first outright bad issue of JLAdv. Awful

KABUKI REFLECTIONS #4: David Mack is a great artist. Doesn’t deserve the "Kabuki" name on the cover, though, as it’s more the "David Mack 2002 yearbook". Either way, nice behind the scenes stuff. Good

LAB RATS #3: I’ll read one more, just to see what Bryne does with Superman, but I find this to be the weakest book he’s ever done, and I can’t imagine it making it a full year. Crap

LEGION #8: Sick of Deux Ex Machina. Wonderful art, but 7 issues of build up to be resolved that quickly and stupidly? Yuck. Awful

MARVEL KNIGHTS DOUBLE SHOT #3: I’ve already told you that Greg Horn’s covers scare me in their slickness, so 12 pages of continuity scare me even more. Its got too much of a sheen on it. The Cloak & Dagger story could have been any two other characters, and you wouldn’t have known the difference and Peter Gross somehow channels (consciously, I assume?) Bret Blevins. Big thumbs down on this issue. Awful

MARVEL MANGAVERSE #3: Also moving to the "not bothering after this" pile – the redesigns are often nice, but there’s no real need or desire for "manga" versions of these stories/characters. I can’t see this lasting too long, either. Eh

MIKE MIGNOLAS BPRD HOLLOW EARTH #3: Nice art, average story. OK

MUTIES #5: No real point to these stories, but I liked the central idea of being a junkie holding back your potential/mutation. OK

NEW X-MEN #127: I don’t find Xorn as compelling as Morrison does, obviously. John Paul Leon’s art is nice, as always, but a jarring transition from X-Men "style". I can’t muster better than an OK

NODWICK #14: Funny little story. Good

RUSE #8: I liked the first 10-12 pages where Archer and... frick, I’ve forgotten the chick's name... were apart on parallel tracks. But I REALLY don’t like the characters when they are together. This is too harsh of a grade, but I can’t muster better than awful

SAVAGE DRAGON #98: Eeef? That’s kinda an interesting little Sci-Fi switcheroo there at the end, but it sorta makes all of the "lost World" stuff a pointless two-year "Spider-clone" diversion, doesn’t it? Eh

SCI SPY #5: Even though it was left field, I liked the idea of a tesseract-bot. Still, one thing that’s clever in 5 issues? Awful

SPECTRE #18: Blah blah metaphysical blah. I liked the Spirit of Vengeance take better. Can’t see this book lasting another year, either. Awful.

STAR WARS TALES #12: Not a single story this time that lit my light-saber. Awful

SUPERBOY #100: Stupefying bad. If it weren’t for the Sienkiewicz cover, I’d have to invent a new sub-crap rating. But the cover is there, so Crap it is

SUPERMAN #183: A logical enough progression of the storyline, but, all-in-all, an unnecessary one, especially as Loeb is now off the book. Eh

THING FREAKSHOW #1: Let’s see: an awkward continuity implant (the gypsy thing), and the largely unbelievable "everyone hates the Thing" plot conceit to get Ben where he needs to be. I rather don’t see the point of this, and it strikes me in two years no one will remember this happened. Art is nice, but without the muted palette of the Flash, it looks "wrong" to me. Despite that, this isn’t "bad", so let’s go with an Eh

THOR #50: page after page of pinups that merely recap what’s happened to date. I don’t really buy this whole "Thor goes nuts" thing either, and I can’t imagine it will stick after this arc is done. The backup was marginally better, but I don’t care much for the Asgardians, when all is said and done. And the last panel? Just seems very out of place in the Marvel universe... especially when something incredibly similar happened this year in Wonder Woman. Which also isn’t being used to any good effect. Awful

THUNDERBOLTS #65: WRONG font for Hawkeye’s thoughts. Ew! I think T-bolts might finally be outliving its welcome. Eh

TRANSFORMERS GENERATION ONE #3: If you like this, more power to you, but, once again, this moves to the "I’m not going to bother" pile as of next issue. Awful

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #23: Kick-fucking-ass. Bendis continues to strike exactly the right mix between Spidey and Peter, and this has absolutely become my favorite Superhero comic. Excellent.

UNCANNY X-MEN #407: Kurt whines in German for 22 pages. Awful.

VAMPIRELLA #9: Nice art, but gods is this a badly written comic. Not that Vampi hasn’t ALWAYS been the book for 12-year old boys who are actually 40-year old men, but a good chunk of the early Warren stuff had, at least, some wit to it. Awful.

YOUNG JUSTICE #46: Lots of PADding all just to wait a month for the voting results. Simultaneously not enough content for $2.50, and kinda amusingly done. Eh.

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore. You decide which is which.

ARCHIE DIGEST #190
BTVS #45
CHASTITY CRAZYTOWN #3
CRUX #14
DEFIANCE #3
ENNIS & MCCREAS BIGGER DICKS #3
FUTABAKUN CHANGE VOL 8 #4
GUARDIAN ANGEL #1
JUGHEAD #144
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE ILLUSTRATED #13
LADY DEATH GODDESS RETURNS #1
LOONEY TUNES #91
MERIDIAN #24
NORM KEYS COLLECTION #3 HOTEL
PATH #3
PURGATORI GOD KILLER #1
SCION #24
SPIDER-GIRL #48
STEVEN GRANTS MORTAL SOULS #2
VAMPIRE YUI VOL 4 #4
WERESLUT #6

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

2000 AD #1287
2000 AD #1288
ACTION FIGURE NEWS AND TOY REVIEW #116
AKIKO FLIGHTS OF FANCY VOL 1 TP
BONEYARD VOL 1 TP
CAGES HC COLLECTION
CATWOMAN ANIMATED STATUE
CINEFANTASTIQUE VOLUME 34 #3/#4 DOUBLE ISSUE
CINESCAPE JULY 2002
EDGE #2
HOGANS ALLEY #10
HOW TO DRAW ANIME & GAME CHARACTERS VOL 4 ENG ED
JACK STAFF YESTERDAYS HEROES VOL 1 TP
JONNY DOUBLE TP
JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE VOL 4 #11
JUXTAPOZ JUL/AUG 2002
MAD MAGAZINE #419
MURDER MYSTERIES HC
NOCTURNALS DARK FOREVER TP
OH MY GODDESS WRONG NUMBER TP
ORIGIN HC
SOJOURN VOL 1 TP
UZUMAKI VOL 2 TP
VIDEO WATCHDOG #84
WITCHBLADE FEAT TOMB RAIDER CODA TP
WOLVERINE GAMBIT VICTIMS TP

This Week’s TP recommendation is: me hating weeks like this. Boneyard is funny and charming; Cages is a MUST-HAVE for any comics library; Jack Staff, Johnny Double, Nocturnals or Sojourn would all normally win in any "typical" week of TPs – but I’d be an idiot if I didn’t give this week’s top prize to P. Craig Russel’s adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s Murder Mysteries. Good lord was this a WONDERFUL adaptation, and it felt like a good deal when I put it down in the hardcover format. We’ve already sold out (yes, I’m reordering double my intial order, at least, and we should have them back in stock next Thursday), and you should put this on the top of your stack of comics to buy this week.

Average Rating for the Week: An astonishing 43 books "reviewed" this week for an average rating of 3.30 (of a possible 7.00) This was a real ass-kicker of a week when you count all of those great TPs.

Pick of the Week: If all 13 issues were out, I have no doubt The Filth #1 would have taken the top spot, but as I write this, I realize I enjoyed Ultimate Spider-Man #23 more as a piece of entertainment. Special mention also goes to 30 Days of Night #1

Pick of the Weak: Almost a contest: Lab Rats #3 sucked hard, but Superboy #100 just nudged it out of place.