The Savage Critic: March 27th, 2002 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

Damn, feast or famine, right? Last week was one of the worst weeks for comics in recent memories, and here we get a week just packed with comicy goodness.

Before we get to the "reviews", a couple o’ bits o’ stuff:

Next week, comics are delayed until Thursday because of Easter, and, so, the Savage Critic will be delayed, as well. Expect it some time on Saturday night, when Jeff gets home from work and can post the column.

Second, I want to recommend something other than a comic book this week. A game. On Tuesday, I bought a copy of Freedom Force (www.myfreedomforce.com is the official web-site), a game for the PC.

Wow.

While I’m a gamer, I generally don’t have enough bread to buy everything out there I might want, so there may be a more accurate comparison, but the closest I can come in describing this is like Command and Conquer (It’s a real-time tactical game), but in 3-D (so you can jump on top of rooftops and fly), and with super-heroes.

This game is a loving tribute to all that is 1960’s comic books. Impassioned and over-the-top voice acting, inter-team rivalries and intrigues, "secret origin" cut-scenes done in a style similar to the Filmation Marvel cartoons (partially animated clippings from comics), and a wonderful sense of joy and humor make this one of the funnest games I’ve ever played.

Character design is via the ghost of Jack Kirby – these guys absolutely nailed Jack’s style and verve. The dialogue all sounds like stuff that Stan might have written, but in the good way that implies, not the bad way.

The voice-acting is great – Mentor, the Martian Manhunter tribute, is voiced by the guy who does the Brain (from Pinky and the...); and I can’t stop using Man-O-War, the Submariner/Aquaman stand-in, because he has a damn fine Sean Connery impression.

If you’ve ever wanted to pick up a car and hurl it at a group of thugs while your team-mates fly over the rooftops raining fireballs and dodging or deflecting bullets, then this is the game for you.

There are a few awkward interface problems (gotta pause a lot and move the camera around the battlefield because so much is going on, no waypoints, minor things like that), but those pale in front of the great joy and fun that this game brims with.

There is a demo available (check that official site), which is good for showing you the game play, but not, as much the sense of love and humor the full game has, and I strongly urge you to check it out. I brought Jeff over to the house last night so he could check it out, and after only a few minutes he was sadly shaking his head, saying, "You bastard, now I have to go buy this tomorrow". Definitely the best comic I’ve "read" all week. In Savage Critic style, I dub this Excellent. Go pick it up today!

Now, on with the show...

100 BULLETS #34: Another decent issue, but ya gotta wonder if it’s Azzarello’s scripts that indicate having the background actions like the fat waitress trying to rape her co-worker, or if Risso just gets bored with drawing so many talking heads and throws them in to break up the monotony. Risso is carrying this book, as far as I’m concerned, and I give it a Good.

ACTION COMICS #789: Buncha non-sense involving Krypto and Kancer. Yelling and punching abound, none of it particularly compelling. Eh.

AMERICAN CENTURY #13: No blow jobs this issue, but we do get some cunnilingus references, so I guess it works out. An adequate conclusion to this arc, and the art is steadily improving issue-to-issue (compare the backgrounds in this one to #1), but there ain’t nothing here that floats me boat. Eh.

AVENGERS ICONS: TIGRA #1: You know there’s something wrong when the cover is the best thing about an issue. Mike Deodato Jr. is a fine artist, especially now that he’s reining in the cheesecake-for-cheescake’s sake that has largely marked his career, but the script on this one by Christina Z is insipid and inane. A truly awful read.

BATMAN #601: I’m not really sure why this is marked as a "Fugitive" crossover when last week’s Detective wasn’t – the storyline didn’t move appreciably forward. But as a single Batman issue, it was fine. Good.

BATMAN GOTHAM ADVENTURES #48: Offers a nice counterpoint in the obsessive quality of Batman, to the Murderer storyline. Nice single issue. Good.

CAGE #2: Not My Thing. Done reasonably well, as far as it goes, but I don’t really see any reason that this is "Cage" and not some new character... Eh.

CAPTAIN AMERICA DEAD MAN RUNNING #3: Not too bad, and almost a little touching there by the end, but it’s not exactly what I would think of in a Captain America story. OK

CAPTAIN MARVEL #30: All of that PAD vs Q vs Jemas stuff? The proof, as they say, is in the pudding – if you aren’t a hard-core fanboy, this is a big nasty jumbled mess dipped in Borscht Belt humor. Awful

CATWOMAN #5: Nice art, decent story, but unless something blows me away in the next few issues, I think this would have been much more suited to a mini, or series of minis than a regular monthly book. OK

CHLOE GN: The first "adults only" Xeric grant winner – but although there is lots of sexuality in here, it’s not exactly the "beat off" over kind of Adults Only, but more the "Holy Crap, that’s fucking creepy" kind. I want to find a good comparison, but the best I’ve been able to come up with is Mazzuchelli illustrating an (evil) Jim Woodring sex story. It’s not QUITE that good, but I liked it nonetheless. In a "Holy crap, that’s fucking creepy" kind of way. Very good.

CODENAME KNOCKOUT #11: Half-nekkid chicks in Siberia white-slaver camps. Sounds better on paper than the execution. Eh.

DEADPOOL #65: Gail Simone and Udon’s first issue. I got a few giggles from it, which is about all one expects from a Deadpool comic, I guess. OK

ELEKTRA #8: I think the problem with this book is the super-convenient Deus Ex Machina super-ninja powers. There’s really no plot problem she can’t get out of with them, and there’s never, not once in 8 issues, even been one second where I felt any jeopardy OR emotional connection to anyone. So..... Awful.

FLASH #184: Kick ass superheroics. Very good.

FUTURAMA COMICS #8: Fucking terrible parody of X-Men. Waste of trees and waste of the concept. Awful

GRIP THE STRANGE WORLD OF MEN #5: Interesting ending to an unusual series. I think I need to read all 5 at once to see how well it hangs together. OK

HELLBLAZER #172: I can’t wait until Azz’s run is over. Third issue in a row where basically nothing happens. Nice art, but... Eh

HOWARD THE DUCK #3: I’m generally of the mind that Witchblade is a parody itself, but this was a homer. Biting, funny, and the plot still progressed forward. Very Good

INCREDIBLE HULK #38: Great cover that. The staging inside the diner scene was tortured and implausible, and I’m still waiting to see where, if anywhere, the book is GOING, but it’s more or less holding my interest as we find out. OK

JIST WITH GARY FRANK CREATING SHAZAM: This.... this didn’t suck. Huh. There’s still a few clunkers here and there, but if this had been the first one of the "Just Imagine" books, then maybe people would be saying "Hey, Stan still has it!" The only one of these, so far, that I’d like to (possibly) see more of. OK

JLA #64: Much better peril and drama both in this last chapter. If it had been a two-parter, I might even be recommending it. OK

JOSS WHEDONS FRAY #6: I’m almost tempted to just not read the rest until the TP comes out. It’s real good, but the wait between issues is far too long to "enjoy" it as an entertainment product as a periodical. Good.

KOLCHAK NIGHT STALKER GN: A straight (I think? Been years since I read the novel) adaptation of the first Kolchak story. I kinda like the ending of TV version better though – something about dropping a flaming cross on a Vampire makes me grin. Eh.

LEGION #6: OK mid-list hero comics – DC should get the guys doing Freedom Force to do a LSH expansion. Hm, should I send a note to Levitz, or will Ivan Cohen look into it when he reads the column this week? Ivan?

MARVEL KNIGHTS VOL 2 #1: I liked the art and the coloring, but the story was mass suck. I can’t imagine this not being cancelled before #12. Crap.

OUT THERE #9: Maybe it’ll work in trades, but as a monthly, this meanders along too much. Eh.

PARADISE X #1: Who? What? Awful.

POUNDED #1: I dug it a lot, but Jeff said he thought it fell apart in the last 1/3. I can see that POV (that last page was pretty awful), but I thought, in the balance, it was a good read. OK

RUSE #6: If the protagonist was AT ALL likeable, then this could be a good book. But I want the lead to die. Painfully. Slowly. And since that’s unlikely to happen.... Eh.

SAVAGE DRAGON #95: Sliding along to #100. OK

SPIDER-MAN TANGLED WEB #12: Hahaha. Funny, and even touching. I liked it. Very good.

SPYBOY YOUNG JUSTICE #2: Mm, about as paint-by-numbers as a script can get. Awful

SUPERBOY #98: The Steve Dillon cover was a surprise, but nothing between the pages was of much interest. Awful.

TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE#13: Normally I slag on this book, but, actually, I was amused by the evil doll antagonist this go, and there was actually a few real human moments in between the "let’s see how close we can get to showing nipples without actually showing them all" that characterizes this book. OK

TERRY MOORES PARADISE TOO #6: Moving into the "not bothering to read" category next time through – the positive thing you can say is "Good for Terry that he puts SiP out on time and still has energy and passion left over to do this and side projects like Marvel Team-Up" Too bad I don’t think Kixie is as cute as he does, though. Awful

THUNDERBOLTS #62: Eh

ULTIMATE MARVEL TEAM UP #14: Dunno. Looked nice, for sure, but the script was lacking something... Eh.

ULTIMATES #3: A terrible periodical read (nothing really has happened yet in 3 issues), but there is an energy that crackles from it. I’m waiting for the first TP, myself. Good.

WITCHBLADE #54: "gold" covers can’t disguise that it’s basically More Of The Same. Howard’s parody was a much more entertaining read. Awful.

WOLVERINE #174: Memo to Frank Tieri: There ARE writer’s tools other than cliché. Look into it, please. Thanks. Crap.

WOLVERINE HULK #2: Makes very little sense at all, but it’s awful nice to look at. Good.

WONDER WOMAN #179: Fabulous art. Couldn’t care less about the setting or antagonists, but man is that art nice. OK

WONDER WOMAN SECRET FILES #3: History of the DC Universe was enough the first time through to see its format repeated here. Still, a good primer for all things Wonder Woman. Eh.

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore. You decide which is which.

ARCHIE #521
BONDAGE FANTASIA #3
CANNON GOD EXAXXION #5 STAGE 1
CARTOON CARTOONS #10
CHASTITY CRAZYTOWN #1
COWBOY BEBOP #3
DARKMINDS MACROPOLIS #2
FUTABAKUN CHANGE VOL 8 #2
HEDG #2
HELDEN #5
LAUGH DIGEST #174
LOVE BUNNY & MISTER HELL #1
MERIDIAN #22
MUTANT X #1
NEGATIVE EXPOSURE #4
PATH #1
SHADES OF BLUE #6
STAR WARS #40
STRIPBUREK COMICS FROM OTHER EUROPE SC
SUGAR BUZZ #8
TIGERS OF LUFTWAFFE #6
VAMPIRE PRINCESS YUI VOL 4 #2
VERONICA #125
X-MEN EVOLUTION #5

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

AKIRA VOL 6 TP
ASTRO BOY VOL 1 TP
CHOBITS VOL 1 GN
CLICK VOL 4
COPYBOOK TALES TP
COWBOY BEBOP VOL 1 GN
EIGHTBALL CARICATURE NINE STORIES TP
FANGORIA #211
FEMME FATALES VOLUME 11 #4
GTO VOL 1 GN
JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR #34
LONE WOLF & CUB VOL 19
MAGNETO TP
ORIENTAL CINEMA #21
PREVIEWS VOL XII #4
REAL BOUT HIGH SCHOOL VOL 1 GN
ROSE SC
SILKY WHIP VOL 1 TP
SIMON BISLEY LTD ED ARTBOOK
SKULL MAN VOL 1 GN
SPIDER-MAN REVENGE OF THE GREEN GOBLIN TP
STAR TREK VOL 2 ISSUE 12 MAGAZINE #36
STAR WARS ZAM WESELL TP
TOP TEN BOOK TWO HC
USAGI YOJIMBO #56
VICTORIAN TP ACT 2 SELF IMMOLATION
WIZARD THE COMICS MAGAZINE #128
WOLVERINE BLOODHUNGRY
WORLD WAR 3 ILLUSTRATED #32
X-TREME X-MEN SAVAGE LAND TP
X-TREME X-MEN TP

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Some good competition this week, but I don’t think it is a real contest: Top Ten Book Two HC by Moore, Ha and Cannon.

Average Rating for the Week: 44 (!) books "reviewed" for an average rating of 3.52 (out of a possible 7.00).

Pick of the Week: No "excellent’s" this week. Kinda bouncing back and forth on what I liked best, but I think I shall give it to Tangled Web #12, for being the freshest thing out this week.

Pick of the Weak: Futurama Comics #8. X-Men parodies are passé, especially when they aren’t funny.