The Savage Critic: March 20th, 2002 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

Sorry ‘bout bailing on last week. I really HAD intended to do the column later in the weekend, but then I decided I didn’t have the will. Writing these things is more draining than it might appear, y’know!

But, man, didn’t Origin #5 suck? Multiple-month wait, and it’s a big bag of dumb clichés ("Gee, that kid digs like a wolverine!") and awkward transitions from the previous issues. Y’know there’s something wrong when your big antagonist of the issue is a grown-up version of Tubby from Little Lulu.

Anyway, what’s past is past, let’s get to THIS week’s books:

BATMAN DEATHBLOW AFTER THE FIRE #1: Well, damn, that LOOKED really nice. In fact, the insides looked about a million times nicer than the cover suggested. But the story didn’t hold my attention at all. Still, pretty enough that it Just Doesn’t Matter. OK

BATMAN GOTHAM KNIGHTS #27: Disappointingly thin, given everything that’s going on w/Bats lately. I was expecting a lot more, especially from Devin who does the interpersonal stuff so well. I don’t even think it took me 3 minutes to read the lead story, which is just wrong. The backup, by Dwayne McDuffie and Denys Cowan was much more entertaining – nice to see them doing comics together again! Speaking of Dwayne, that JL Animated he wrote was excellent fun. Somehow I missed part 1, but part 2 was terrific, perhaps the best JLA yet.... Anyway, for BGN, let’s call it an OK

BIRDS OF PREY #41: The Ted Kord plot seemed a little shoehorned in, but the main Fugitive segment wasn’t bad. Though I’m already a little worried this is going to stretch on too long. Next issue has Glen Fabry interior art?!?!? That’ll be.... odd. Third in a row OK

CEREBUS #276: I could barely even get through the comics part of this issue. A Spawn parody is about as timely as a parody of the Unknown Comic. Plus my eyes just don’t want to read that "biblical" font. Much more interesting is the Islam, my Islam essay in the back. I found myself nodding in agreement with several of his observations about democracy. I tend to think that Dave’s turning to God is wrapped up in how he feels about his own creation... and I’d expand upon that, but I’ve got other comics to talk about this week. Still, it will give me and Jeff Lester a nice starting point for our Great Friday Afternoon Comics Debate today at the store. Come by and join the fun. The comic? Awful.

CLASSWAR #1: There was some good pre-pub "buzz" on this one, but it struck me as Just Another Superhero comic in the end. The idea of Superman carving "Liar" onto Bush’s head with his heat vision is an appealing one, but the absurdity of capes and spandex drain most of the socio-political impact away. Eh.

COURTNEY CRUMRIN & THE NIGHT THINGS #1: Not bad. A bit of odd pacing, as it takes most of the issue for the setup to get through, but the goth fans’ll dig it fine, I suspect. OK

DAREDEVIL #31: I think the time jumps throughout this series are really working against it. Nesting flashbacks are a hard thing to pull off in any case, but the economy of your standard 22-page comic make it even more difficult. One or two (?) more parts to go, but I feel safe in writing this one down as a failed experiment at this point. Eh.

ESTABLISHMENT #7: Dunno. Read fairly well (esp when compared to this week’s Monarchy), but I’m finding it hard to get engaged with the WS "universe" any longer. Post-Authority backlash, setting in, maybe? OK.

GEN 13 #75: An extended dream-sequence, effectively? Not how I would have chose to end a run, but there you go, I guess. Eh.

GROO DEATH AND TAXES #3: Funny, but then Groo usually is. Good.

HAVEN THE BROKEN CITY #4: Nope, they lost me. I simply don’t care at all about any of these characters, and without direct DC connections (like last issue’s Lois Lane thing), I simply Don’t See The Point. Awful

JSA #34: A decent enough take on Standard Hero Plot #375 (Villain takes over the world, enslaving most of the heroes), but there’s not enough here to give me wood. I foresee a lot of fight scenes over the next few issues. OK

KING DAVID SC: I wanted to like it, really I did. In fact, I generally LOVE Kyle Baker’s work. But, no, this didn’t work for me at all. There are scenes that are amusing enough, but being "locked in" to the bible means I was never surprised by anything that happened. The "animation style" was nice, but far far too loud in places. Tone back the ‘puter! OK

LUBA #6: I’ve mentioned before that I "don’t get" Love and Rockets, right? Still, I always eagerly devour any new Hernandez book (by ANY of the brothers) because they’re all just FUCKING EXCELLENT cartoonists. But It’s Not My Thing, so we average out (as we often do) to an OK

LUCIFER #24: Nearly a let down after the last few superb issues. I liked the attempt to "get into" a centaur society, but it still felt largely like marking time, without any forward story movement. OK

MONARCHY #12: Textbook example of Biting More Than One Can Chew. Not badly done, per se, but I can see why this couldn’t hold an audience. Last issue, trying to wrap it all up, and only somewhat succeeding. Eh.

NEW X-MEN #124: I’m digging the story, but Igor Kordy, while not a "bad" artist, is simply no replacement for Frank Quitely. I want art that matches or surpasses Morrison’s story-telling, not that merely services it. Still, the truly terrifying thought is that even with the low grade I’m about to give, this was still the "best" comic of the week. I’d call this a shitty week. Good.

ORDER #2: Eh.

ORION #24: And after I adored #23 so much, this was a let-down too. Supremely competent Simonson, but nothing thrilling. Shame, that. OK

OUTLAW NATION #19: You could basically go back up 4 titles and reread the "review" of Monarchy #12. Because I think the same thing here. Eh.

PETER PARKER SPIDER-MAN #41: Paul Jenkins and Bucky just don’t do "straight" hero-books well. So they probably shouldn’t try. Eh.

ROBIN #100: In putting together a list of comic creators that Just Shouldn’t Work Well Together (It’s a fun game, try it yourself: Bob Haney and Mike Diana! Paul Pope and John Byrne! Peter David and Dan Clowes!), I would have thought that Chuck Dixon and Jon Lewis would have been high up on that list. And, oddly, I would’ve been wrong. This was actually pretty seamless. Old threads get wrapped up adequately, new ones start to spin out, and I can’t really tell where the Dixon ends and the Lewis begins. This may, in fact, be the editorial triumph of the year. Time to get that Pope and Byrne project rolling, I guess. Good.

SIMPSONS COMICS #68: I am quite sure you’re sick of me saying how much I like Ian Boothby’s Simpson’s scripts, right? Great parody cover. Good.

SPAWN #115: Eh.

STAR WARS TALES #11: "Hey, I’ve got an idea for a Star Wars story, but it doesn’t have a beginning... or really an end. And I’m still working on that whole middle thing, too" "That’s OK, we can run it in Tales." Mm. Eh.

STRANGERS IN PARADISE VOL III#47: Fucking text pieces. Still, nice to see Frannie and Katchoo back together again. Good.

SUPERGIRL #68: Two, two, two clichés in one! (Sitting Next to Your Enemy Without Realizing It, and Illusions Make Allies Battle). Awful.

SUPERMAN THE MAN OF STEEL #124: Jesus, what the fuck is this? I hope and I pray, and I beg the gods of Metropolis to finally wrap up and then COMPLETELY FORGET all of this B13/Aegis armor stuff. Exactly the kind of comic the crap rating was invented for.

THING & SHE HULK THE LONG NIGHT: razor thin plot, but it’s always nice to see Bryan Hitch art, even when it’s been sitting in a drawer for awhile. OK

THOR #47: Eh.

TITANS #39: As awful as that "DEO kids" storyline was, at least it had me impassioned. This was just flat. Eh.

ULTIMATE X-MEN #16: As clever as the pro-social hero idea is (especially in a school, for grades), I suspect it should be a very, very background element. Otherwise, you zip right away from the World That Hates and Fears Them concept, whose alienation brings the core of the X-Men appeal. This also starts the Proteus storyline, and I’m looking forward to Millar’s take on that. Good.

VAMPIRELLA #7: I already said how much this comic embarrasses me, right? Yah, well, double that for this issue. Awful.

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore. You decide which is which.

AMELIA RULES #5
BANISHED KNIGHTS #2
BETTY & VERONICA #173
BETTY & VERONICA DOUBLE DIGEST #105
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER HAUNTED #4
CAVEWOMAN PANGAEAN SEA #3
CERES CELESTIAL LEGEND PART 2#4
CLETUS AND FLOYD SHOW #1
CRUX #12
DIGITAL WEBBING PRESENTS #2
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS TEMPESTSGATE #3
HOUSEWIVES AT PLAY #8
INCAL #7
INU YASHA PART 6 #11
KISSING CHAOS #8
LADY DEATH JADE #1
LAST SHOT #4
MAD COLOR SPECIAL #5
METABARONS #15
PARADIGM #1
POISON ELVES PARINTACHIN #3
POWERPUFF GIRLS #25
PURGATORI GOD HUNTER #1
SCION #22
SEVENTH SEA #3 ABSOLUTION
SHADOW REAVERS #5
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #108
WERESLUT #5

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

2000 AD #1278
2000 AD #1279
ALTER EGO #13
ANIMERICA APRIL 2002 VOL 10 #4
AVENGERS DEFENDERS WAR TP\
BANANA FISH VOL 6 TP
BATTLE POPE VOL 2 TP
COMIC BOOK MARKETPLACE #89
DOOM TP
ELFQUEST READERS COLL VOL 8B IN ALL BUT BLOOD
FUTURAMA HORRIBLE GELATINOUS BLOB SQUISHY TOY
GANZFELD VOL 2 TP
HOPPEL POPPEL KOSHER COMIX TP
IGUANA TP
JSA PVC SET III
JUDGE DREDD HELTER SKELTER GN
LEFT BEHIND VOL 5 GN
MAD ABOUT SUPER-HEROES TP
MAD MAGAZINE #416
SCOOBY-DOO 5 FIGURE GIFT SET
SIMPSONS COMICS UNCHAINED TP
TOYFARE STAR WARS CVR #57
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN HC
WITCHBLADE FEAT TOMB RAIDER CAULDRON TP
ZACHARY HOLMES CASE 1 THE MONSTER HC
ZENDRA TP VOL 1

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Despite a few very minor production errors, this week’s clear and easy winner is the Ultimate Spider-Man HC. Even more so when you consider the larger size, and how much CHEAPER it is than the two TPs it "reprints". Nice package, nice value, excellent content, go buy one.

Average Rating for the Week: 33 books "reviewed" for a pathetically low average rating of 3.55 (out of a possible 7.00). Hopefully next week will be better.

Pick of the Week: Er.... can I pass? Not even a single "Very Good" this week. That’s pretty sad. If you MAKE me choose.... New X-Men #124. But that’s under protest, mind you.

Pick of the Weak: Really, this was such a sucky week for funny books, I’m tempted to simply say "The Third Week of March" (I thought Spring was supposed to bring rebirth?), but we have a clear loser in the form of Superman: Man of Steel #124. Odd that both books this week were "124"... wonder what that means?