The Savage Critic: March 6th, 2002 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

Why Comics Drive Me Nuts: Part MCXVI: Remember what I said about last week’s invoice being our biggest in a long time? Well, this week, the invoice was one of our smallest ever. Feast or famine, feast or famine. Why can’t we get even shipping? Stupid publisher creatures.

ALIAS #7: Another fine issue. I was worried by the conclusion of last issue, but this one sweeps those concerns all away. Trust the Bendis. Very good.

AVENGERS #51: *shudder* This week’s "the world is taken over by..." issue. Man, can you imagine what the suicide rate must be in the Marvel Universe? Every couple of days the world gets taken over by someone, or a city gets destroyed. Awful.

BATGIRL #26: A kinda cute follow-up to #25, although Spolier is kinda a joke of a character. OK

BATMAN LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #153: Thank god that’s over. Dumbest Bat-villains ever. Awful.

CITIZEN V & THE V BATTALION EVERLASTING #2: I do not see the point. Awful.

CRUSADES #13: It’s getting better, but it’s almost certainly too late for the book. Eh.

DETECTIVE COMICS #768: A bit of a let down after Batman #600, but nice scene between Leslie and Bats. Josie Mac is great, too. Good.

DOOM PATROL #6: If the art wasn’t so nice, I’d say, "why care"? But the art is sooooo nice.... OK

EXILES #11: Gotta love such a gay revelation attached to such a cheesecake cover. The fanboys must be sweating. OK

HAWKMAN #1: A solid enough debut, but I hope they don’t keep the "I don’t love you!" thing going on forever. It’ll get tiresome within a year, or less. Good.

LADY DEATH THE GAUNTLET #1: I haven’t read an issue of this in a long time, so I thought "Well, J. Scott Campbell cover, let’s give it another look." Mistake. Big mistake. I am truly stunned that anyone buys this comic. Over the top melodrama, absurd levels of cheescake, definitely not for moi. Awful.

MUTIES #2: I really liked that first one... so where did all that cleverness go? Could not be more by-the-numbers than what we have here. Blech! Awful.

NODWICK #12: Clever idea, cutely executed. Good.

POWERS #18: Haven’t seen this much action in an issue of Powers yet. It felt a bit "thin" because of that, but the storytelling was nearly impeccable. What happened right there at the end, though? Something Walker did? Zora? Something else? Too ambiguous for me to be happy, so drop it down to a Good.

SAVAGE DRAGON #94: Punch! Fight! ‘splode! Gritted teeth and angst! Sadly dull. Eh.

SCI SPY #2: Nice art. But art alone can’t save a bland and uninvolving story. Eh.

SLOW NEWS DAY #5: Andi Watson’s not for everyone, but I love his languid pacing. Very good.

SPECTRE #15: Now that’s a very amusing way to bring back the GL corp. Sorta. Though... this reminds me of the strip by Evan Dorkin: "You got Rhesus Monkey on my Peanut Butter!" These two tastes really don’t go together very well. Eh.

STRAY BULLETS #24: Solid issue, but not as much of a punch to the stomach as #23. Still, Lapham seems way recharged after Murder Me Dead. Very good.

SUPERMAN #180: Would have been better as an 8-page backup or something, since there really wasn’t anything here except the "There’s sun in his blood" joke. And that’s not enough for a full issue. Awful.

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #20: Another issue, another positive review. These are coming out too fast to say anything meaningful – how does Bendis DO it? That’s three books from him this week! Very good.

UNCANNY X-MEN #404: Hurrah, Sean Phillips! I still don’t care about this arc, but at least it’s nice to look at. Eh.

WARREN ELLIS STRANGE KILLINGS#1: Structurally, I thought this was padded – half of the issue is prison riot, the other half is torture. And the plot really doesn’t begin until the last page. Eh.

YOUNG JUSTICE #43: "Daddy, why does everyone hate me?" Because Daddy is a bald robot, and you haven’t aged a minute in the two decades or more since you were introduced? Oh, wait, that’s me. Nice try at a topical "please don’t hate immigrants", but all of the superhero stuff obscures any meaning it might have. Or am I too cynical? Eh.

For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore. You decide which is which.

ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #132
BETTY #110
BETTY & VERONICA DIGEST #128
BUNNY TOWN #1
CREED UTOPIATE #2
CREEPS #3
EVIL EYE #9
FIRST #17
GI JOE #4
I DREAM OF JEANNIE #1
JUGHEADS DOUBLE DIGEST #84
LOONEY TUNES #88
MARQUIS DEVILS REIGN HELLS COURTESAN #1
MYSTIC #22
NORM KEYS COLLECTION #2
PALS N GALS DOUBLE DIGEST #64
PUNCTURE #3
RANMA 1/2 PART 11 #1
S&M UNIVERSITY #4
SPIDER-GIRL #45:
VAMPI #15 REG ED
WILD STARS VOL 3 #5

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

2000 AD #1276
2000 AD #1277
3X3 EYES BLOOD OF THE SACRED DEMON TP
BATMAN HUNTRESS CRY FOR BLOODTP
BLACKMARK TP
BLADE 2 BLOODHUNT TP
CERES CELESTIAL LEGEND VOL 1 AYA TP
DAWN LUNCH BOX
DIVINE RIGHT BOOK ONE TP
DOOM PATROL ARCHIVES VOL 1 HC
DRAW #3
EXILES TP
FANTASTIC FIRSTS TP
FORTEAN TIMES #156
G FAN #55
GEN 13 SUPER-HUMAN LIKE YOU TP
GLIMMER RATS HC
INQUEST GAMER #84
JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE VOL 4 #8
KABUKI SNAPDRAGON MASK
MYSTIC VOL 2 TP
OTTO PORFIRI RED MOON TP
RAIN DOGS HC
SFX #88
STAR TREK COMMUNICATOR #137
THE COMICS JOURNAL #241
TOO MUCH COFFEE MAN AMUSING MUSINGS TP
VIDEO WATCHDOG #81
X-MEN VIGNETTES TP

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Some really good stuff this week, but I’ll give the nod to the tragically-late, infinitely-old-continuity X-Men Vignettes TP. Awful cover obscures the excellent John Bolton artwork inside, but I’m very glad this material got collected.

Average Rating for the Week: 29 books "reviewed" for an average rating of 3.07 (out of a possible 7.00). Yikes, that’s low!

Pick of the Week: Hard to say, no real stunners this week. And most of the candidates are Bendis books. So, let’s just give the award to Brian Michael Bendis and be done with it this week.

Pick of the Weak: Almost gave it to Superman for the padded story, but I thought again and decided Muties #2 deserved it more for being SUCH a letdown after that first issue.