The Savage Critic: February 13th, 2002 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

I hope everyone had a good Valentine’s Day. The sweetest thing that happened to me this week was going into the little corner store down the block from my house last night. It is run by a family of Arab immigrants (Jordanian, I believe), and despite being some of the sweetest people I can think of, they had a serious of death threats and harassments post-9/11. The neighborhood really rallied around them, though.

Anyway, they have a daughter, Xena, who is about 5 years old. I went in for my evening beer last night, and wished them all a happy Valentine’s Day. Xena looked at me in that serious way that only little kids can pull off, and informed me that "Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday, because everybody loves each other."

Right on, kiddo. Right on.

Gives me a little hope about this bad old world, don’t you know.

On to the funny books.

ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #601: Oh, that was fine, I guess. Not really sure who the guy with the glowing eyes was, or what he was doing in a regular prison like that (you’d assume that a prison system in a superhero universe would have some sequence to test for super-powers), but there you go. I guess the thrill of the new trade dress is wearing off on me. OK

AGE OF BRONZE #13: Actually, because it was VD day, and I had some serious snuggling action required, I never got to this before my writing deadline. By the time this is posted, I’ll have finished it, but if I go off to read it, then the column won’t get up until after 8 PM. Incomplete, but I can’t possibly imagine it coming in lower than Very Good. Always is, after all.

ALAN MOORES GLORY #2: Dunno. The "reprint" was as clever as ever – maybe even more so with the bondage-heavy nature of old Wonder Woman comics, but this issue didn’t click for me all that much. It may be that we’ve read so little of the character that the setup and cliffhanger didn’t have a ton of impact. *shrug* OK

AUTHORITY #28: I want to say "The wait was worth it", but, of course, it wasn’t, really. The story itself is straightforward enough to have suffered for the time delay, and the heavy hand of editorial interference is clearly upon the book with several confusing storytelling sequences that obviously are down to rewrites/redraws. Very good, but it could have been so much better.

BLACK PANTHER #41: I’m not always clear on everyone’s motivations (Priest does that to me a lot), but the politics of this one worked a lot better for me than the Doom arc. I like the "Kirby" Panther plot thread, even though I don’t really get where it is going. Overall, a borderline Good

BLOODSTONE #4: Stinky and horrible on virtually every level. If there is any justice in the world, we’ll never ever see this character again. Unless maybe Marvel has a Crisis, and we can get a one panel death. Awful.

BLUE MONDAY LOVECATS: I’m not the hugest Chynna fan (I leave that to Jeff and Sue) – I think too many of her characters look too much alike – but there was some nice interpersonal stuff here. I especially liked the flashback sequences. OK

CABLE #102: When I saw that cover, I thought "What is the Jack Of Hearts doing in Cable?" I’m still not a huge fan of "super powers in the real world", but this issue worked better than the previous ones with that premise. OK

DEADMAN #3: Too bad it has a Mike Mignola cover – someone might decide to pick it up because of that. Horrible, jumbled mess, with far too many plot convenient changes to how Boston’s power operates. It’s kinda nice to see a lead with a fairly typical 1960s motivation – but you’d think a guy named Deadman might recognize that anonymous henchman #102 might have to die to prevent thousands of other people getting killed. I’ll be stunned if this makes it a full year. Awful.

DETECTIVE COMICS #767: Really good, really strong chapter of "Murderer?", this one worked on just about every level. Very good.

ELEKTRA #7: Plotwise, Greg Rucka’s first script is interesting, and I’m a lot more intrigued than I was anytime during Bendis’ run. But it’s probably too little, too late. CE’s customers are fleeing from this book, with each issue selling 20% less than the one before. That’s a ton of unsold copies. Chuck Austen’s art is just funky here – what’s with the odd perspectives that make characters look like they have arms down to their ankles? Best I can muster: Eh.

FINDER #25: I totally don’t "get" everything that’s going on, but, oddly, that doesn’t matter to me at all in this case. This is a fully fleshed out world, and Carla’s art is astonishingly good. This will read SO good in TP, but you probably shouldn’t wait. Haunting imagery, crisp dialogue, this is fantastic work by a creator who is growing with every issue. Very good.

GREYSHIRT INDIGO SUNSET #4: Tired of gangsters. The lead story wasn’t much of a surprise – I thought something like that was coming really early on in the tale. But I liked the little twist at the end of the second tale. Wouldn’t it be nice if Veitch’s earlier work, like The One, or Bratpack, were still in print? OK

GRIP THE STRANGE WORLD OF MEN #4: Oh hey, look, plot threads coming together. Definitely will need a reread when all five issues are out, because I’m not following it all that well month-to-month, but this is still clearly superlative work. Very good.

HARLEY QUINN #17: At least they’re acting like villains now. Nothing special, but nothing awful either. Eh.

HUNTER THE AGE OF MAGIC #8: Now this I liked a lot. Finally getting back to the original (like Neil Gaiman original, showing you how old it is) premise for the book, and despite the exposition cram towards the end, I don’t think I could be happier. Very good.

I LOVE NEW YORK: I might have been amenable to this if there hadn’t already been 400+ pages of 9/11 related meditations already published in comics. 22 pages where Linser doesn’t really say anything that everyone else hasn’t said was pretty damn painful. Thumbs down for timing and indulgence, despite the donation to the Red Cross. If it wasn’t for feeling like a jerk because of the benefit nature, I’d say "Awful", but heart’s in the right place, even if the craft wasn’t. Eh.

ICEMAN #4: Text-book example of how to do four issues on a character while leaving the status quo precisely and exactly the same at the end of the series. In other words: wow, that was a pretty pointless waste of $10. Awful.

IMPULSE #83: A fairly original way to defeat an enemy. That’s really the nicest thing I can say about this book. Eh.

IRON MAN #51: Very talky. Almost preachy. And we’re only at the second issue of Grell’s run, and he’s already trotting out the "Suit running out of power" trope. Mustn’t...black...out. Eh.

JIST SECRET FILES #1: I can’t, not for one second, Imagine who the audience for this could possibly be. If you’re interested in Stan’s DC characters, then you already know all of this, and it amounts to a $5 recap/cash grab. If you’re not interested, then this is a waste of good brain cells. At least it explains the Green Fog. But, in explaining, reduces the whole thing to a bad Saturday morning cartoon. Crap.

JUSTICE LEAGUE ADVENTURES #4: I recall reading a recent interview with either Dini or Timm that said something like "We put a moratorium on Wonder Woman stories because everyone kept pitching the same idea." This one, I think. Generic, but competent. OK.

KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE #64: You’re probably tired of me saying "This is the funniest funny book on the shelves", right? Well, it is. Very good.

MAGIC WHISTLE #6: On the other hand, the humor quotient dropped a lot for me with this one. Eh

MUTIES #1: Stunning, absolutely stunning artwork. I also quite like how the resolution of the plot took a completely different direction than one would assume. Its really a shame this came out the same week as Morrison’s X-Men, because it is overshadowed – and it is at least as good. Excellent.

NEW X-MEN #122: Wow, two Quitely issues in a row? I thought that was against the Geneva convention, or something. Typically superlative work, I’m enjoying the hell out of it, despite the wretched reproduction and paper stock. Excellent.

NIGHTWING #66: And I was so enjoying "Murderer?" up until now. I suppose it is inevitable to get the phoned in borderline "red skies" chapter of a crossover. This adds nothing new, and doesn’t even do it in an entertaining way. Awful.

POWER COMPANY #1: Despite the slightly jarring "We want you to join because you have name recognition value" to the brand new character Kurt just created, this was a decent debut. Still, it feels so much like someone’s Champions campaign that it's not even funny. I can’t really see this having long-term legs (the "hook" isn’t as good as Thunderbolts’ was, and DC has been really awful in launching new series), but it should be a fun, journeyman ride as long as it lasts. OK.

PUNISHER #9: Tom Peyer’s first issue. I didn’t really like it – a bit too over the top. Which is, y’know, a pretty funny charge looking back over Garth and Steve’s run. But Steve can pretty much pull off any goofy idea with his art style, and make it seem valid. Not so here – the "Medallion" was just kinda creepy and pathetic. Best part was the joke you won’t understand unless you’ve been in a NY cab in the last half-dozen years, and even that’s overplayed, coming up three times in the space of one issue. I can’t really muster anything better than an Eh here.

ROBO DOJO #1: Really really really really sucked. This is like TV producers going "that Pokemon thing is hot, right, let’s do our own copyrightable version." Cynical, formulaic, unoriginal, it would be an insult to hacks to call this hackwork. Normally I save this for the Pick of the Weak feature at the bottom of the page, but Shame on You, everyone involved with this super-generic piece of fluffy nonsense. Bet they manage to sell it as a TV show, though. Crap, only because there isn’t a lower rating.

SANDMAN PRESENTS THE THESSALIAD #2: Once we got past the first few pages repeating that jarring narrative from the first issue, this really kicked a lot of ass. Wonderful twists on Heroic quests, and funny, to boot. Very good.

SOJOURN #8: Then come back over here for standard heroic quest #14: the Dragon’s Lair. You really couldn’t telegraph next issue’s revelation any more, could you? Still, fab fab art, its not like anyone is following this for the plotting, are they? OK

SPAWN #114: I read this. I know I read it on Wednesday. Yet it has passed through my mind, leaving no trace nor scent of it’s passage. Not being able to recall a SINGLE detail of a comic two days later is either the first sign of Alzhiemer’s or an automatic Awful. I know which way I lean.

SPYBOY YOUNG JUSTICE #1: Why is it the one thing that I think most of the American audience doesn’t like about Manga (the goofy big heads), has been invariably been the one thing most US creators have seized upon to manga-ize their art? At least it’s a plot point here. Even though it took half an issue to get that far. Severely Eh.

SUICIDE SQUAD #6: Does this just need a heavier editorial hand? The ball was bobbled in the first few issues by introducing the wrong characters; and here we lose it with fragmented conversations that aren’t always clear as to what the character’s are discussing. Yet, somehow, I like it. Not enough to take it home and put it on my bookshelf, but enough to hope it somehow finds the audience willing to put up with it’s indulgences. The 7 point grading system fails me here, because OK just doesn’t make it clear on the potential of this title.

TASKMASTER #1: I thought I’d really hate this, but actually, the "Evil James Bond" plot works pretty well. Ultimately, I doubt this will mean very much, but it’s a good decent light pop read. Too bad I sold out so fast because I didn’t have any faith during the ordering process. Oh well, that’s what TPs are for, I guess. Good.

TRANSMETROPOLITAN #53: Also fell victim to the VD snugglefest. Not read, but the cover made me laugh. Incomplete.

 For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore. You decide which is which.

10TH MUSE CRUZ CVR #9
A G SUPER EROTIC ANTHOLOGY #1
ASSASSINATE HITLER #1
AZRAEL AGENT OF THE BAT #87
CHASTITY HEARTBREAKER #1
CYBERNARY 2.0 #6
IMAGE INTRODUCES LEGEND OF ISIS #1
JUGHEAD #142
KINDRED #2
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE ILLUSTRATED #11
KODT HACKMASTERS EVERKNIGHT #12 SKRAAG
LADY DEATH HEARTBREAKER #1
LAST KISS #3
LAUGH DIGEST #173
MAC AFRO #2
NEGATION #3
PRIVATE BEACH #4
PURGATORI HEARTBREAKER #1
RADIX #2
SCOOBY-DOO #57
SIGIL #21
STAR WARS STARFIGHTER CROSSBONES #2
TWO OVER TEN #4
ULTIMATE X-MEN #14 (Diamond didn’t actually deliver our copies)
X-XTREME X-MEN #10

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, magazines, and other things that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

AQUA KNIGHT VOL 3 TP
BONDERS #2
CAPTAIN AMERICA STAR AND STRIPES T/S LG + XL
CINESCAPE MARCH 2002
FAUST COMMUNION COLLECTION VOL 2 TP
GREEN LANTERN CORPS FATALITY ACTION FIGURE
GREEN LANTERN CORPS KYLE RAYNER ACTION FIGURE
GUNSMITH CATS MISTYS RUN TP
HELLBLAZER GOOD INTENTIONS TP
HELLBOY CONQUEROR WORM TP
JUXTAPOZ MAR APR 2002
MAD MAGAZINE #415
MAD XL #14
METROPOL COLL ED VOL 5 TP
STAR WARS INFINITIES A NEW HOPE TP
STORM RIDERS GN #1
TOMARTS ACTION FIGURE DIGEST #95
TOYFARE SIMPSONS CVR #56
VADEBONCOEUR COLLECTION OF IMAGES #2
VIDEO GIRL AI VOL 4 OFFLINE TP
X-MEN FALL OF THE MUTANTS TP

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Cake. If it’s Friday, it must be Hellboy Conqueror Worm TP. Mike Mignola IS the man, and don’t you forget it, Charlie.

Average Rating for the Week: 35 books "reviewed" for an average rating of 3.94 (out of a possible 7.00) Not a bad week at all.

Pick of the Week: Just because otherwise you might overlook it, I’ll give the nod to Muties #1. I probably enjoyed X-Men or Authority a smidge better, and if it weren’t for snuggling, Age of Bronze could have made the list as well, but those are all predictable picks. Give Muties #1 a shot -- I think you’ll be quite happy.

Pick of the Weak: Robo Dojo #1. I don’t think I can top what I wrote above.