The Savage Critic: January 30th, 2002 By Brian Hibbs

Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.

Hey-suess marimba! That’s one big fucking week of funny books. What the fuck is up with having three weeks where basically nothing ships, followed by an extreme ball-buster of a week?

Is this a publisher incompetence thing? Is this still lingering fallout from Diamond moving their warehouse? Either way, it fucking cripples cash flow for us hard-working retailers, and utterly frustrates me as a reader, too.

Bastards.

My DSL went down this morning, too, so this is (at best) 12 hours late, and, if I’m unlucky in getting SBC to get the DSL running again, a day or more late. Sux 2 B me.

But you don’t really care about that, do you? So let’s talk about funny books...

100 BULLETS #32: Honestly, I don’t know what this has to do with the previous 30 issues, but, hey, since when has that mattered? As a stand-alone tale, this works pretty damn good: tight and terse script from Azarello, and scrumdidliumpcious art from Risso. One of the few times strippers actually work in comics. Very Good.

ACTION #787: Again, I really like the change in the trade dress. Makes the super-books a little more visually distinctive. This might also be the first Joe Kelly scripted issue that I think hasn’t blown chunks. Nice questioning of morality and suchnot. Really nice and interesting art, too Good.

BATMAN #599: And the crossover continues. I’m enjoying this more than I imagined I could, even if there isn’t any progress on the "mystery" side of things. Good.

BATMAN NIGHTWING BLOODBORNE: Innnnnnteresting. The story coulda been a two-parter in any issue of Batman, but, y’know, DC needs money to pay for Warren Ellis’s exclusive contract, so what the hell, it is $6. Not really worth it from that side. The art however... The first thing I thought was "Oooh, Ted McKeever clone". This, of course, is aided and abetted by the McKeever cover, but it fits. Almost certainly the "regular" readers of the Batbooks would go "Ew! WTF is THIS!" (Hey, they didn’t even like Kelley Jones, so there it is), so, yah, that’s why it is $6. I liked it, I guess, but, I dunno, nothing about it made me hard. Maybe for $4 I woulda been more charitable. Eh.

BONE #46: Oh my god, there be "Ha ha" here! This really felt to me in tone to be like the first six or so issues of Bone (Y’know, back when it was universally beloved), and there’s plenty of plot to go along with the laughs. Very Good.

BROTHERHOOD #8: For some reason I thought this was the last issue. Oh, but ya gotta have the X-Force crossover, I guess. This seems to this reader to be a massive change in tone from the first 7 issues (Sorta "Yikes, I only have 44 more pages to wrap up all of the plot threads" if you ask me), and not at all for the better. Blech. Awful.

BTVS TALES OF THE SLAYER GN: I’m not really a Buffy fan. I thought the movie was cute, but the TV series never chapped my stick. So, colored me surprised about how much I liked this "Slayers through the ages" GN. Some fab fab art (P. Craig Russell, Tim Sale among others) is matched nicely by scripts by the TV show writers. The big surprise was the (what I’ll call) "Hansi, the Slayer Who Loved the Swastika" story. (try plugging that into Google, substituting "girl" for "slayer" to see the inside joke) – gorgeous woodcut style art by Mira Friedmann. Good stuff, and worth a look. Very Good.

CAPTAIN AMERICA DEAD MAN RUNNING #1: I don’t really care much for Daniel Zezelj’s art. It really looks to me like he bats ten pages out a day. Darko Macan’s story is serviceable enough; I don’t know if it is really worth three issues worth of comic though. Overall: Eh.

CAPTAIN MARVEL #28: If you really really miss Spider-Man 2099 then this is the comic for you. I suspect there aren’t that many of you out there, though. Eh.

CODENAME KNOCKOUT #9: Hoorah! Amanda Conner art! If she’d been drawing it from the start, this book probably wouldn’t have floundered along as badly as it did. Cute and properly cartoony, I liked this issue quite a bit. Good.

DARK KNIGHT STRIKES AGAIN #2: Zippy, fast-paced, fun story. Almost too zippy and faced paced, really – but there’s a lot of big ideas about heroism and icons and comics all cloaked in here. I still miss the uber-dense quality of the original series, but this is the 21^st century, so I suppose we do what we do. My biggest quibble (besides the coloring): not enough distinction in most of the lettering forms. Particularly in the scenes with Clark and Diana with the rapid-fire, non-balloon-tailed dialogue. It was difficult to figure out who was talking to whom. This is repeated to varying degrees among the other talking heads throughout the issue. Still, this kicked a lot of ass, and analysis of the series should be fun to read once the whole thing is done (Is there meaning to the Martian Manhunter’s death, given he is considered the "first" Silver Age character? Does the "New Joker" being in Legion costume signify a stand-in for Paul Levitz’s corporate policies?) – but, for now, all you need to know is it was a lot of fun. Excellent.

DOOM THE EMPEROR RETURNS #3: And no one cares. Flat and boring, and the only good thing you can say is that maybe that whole "Doomworld" story is finally fucking done. Awful.

FATHOM #13: How many years ago was #12? Coming back after that long of an absence who cares anymore? Well, I didn’t care the first time, so I guess my opinion isn’t worth the most. But, still, you’d think one would make a little more effort into making it new reader friendly. Eh.

FELON #3: The story moves along nicely, if a bit violently. A solid enough piece of work, though I’m not sure if I see how it can last past this first arc. Good.

GROO DEATH AND TAXES #2: Groo is Groo – still funny after all of these years, even on one joke. OK

HARLEQUIN VALENTINE HC: A very nice adaptation of the Neil Gaiman story – John Bolton’s art is as lovely as ever. Didn’t much like the narrative font, and I think the story is a bit thin to be a $15 HC, though. That price knocks down the review to an OK

HAUNTED #2: White on black dialogue balloons are fucking hard to read. Reasonably generic story, awful artwork. Awful.

HELLBLAZER #170: John’s not really in this issue (since I don’t buy the setup). ‘sides he’s a bastard, but not this much of one. Nice art, though. Eh.

JLA #62: Adequate. Eh.

LEGION #4: Lots of milling around, not a ton of plot movement. Solid enough though. OK

MARVEL MANGAVERSE ETERNAL TWILIGHT #1: And, too much gnashing of teeth. The promise of the first issue doesn’t pay off here. Eh.

MIKE MIGNOLAS BPRD HOLLOW EARTH #1: Ryan Sook does a mean Mignola impression. Nice solid story of the backup characters from Hellboy. Very good.

NIGHTCRAWLER #3: I was extremely underwhelmed by the first two issues, but this one was quite enjoyable. Kurt’s a hard character to handle right: Naïve, yet also extremely competent. This was the first time I think I actually bought the whole priest thing. Good.

NINJA BOY #6: Decided to give this another try. A little sorry I did. Good attempt at "American Manga", but it’s a little too cutsey-pie for me. Eh.

OCHLOCRAT #1: An interesting enough idea – justice by mob rule – but not enough is done with the concept other than random titillation. Eh.

OUT THERE #8: Last issue for me – whatever charm this has doesn’t speak to this reader. Scooby-dooby-don’t. Eh.

POPBOT #1: Didn’t make much linear sense, but it was still a joy to look at and read. Now, if only Diamond had some stock on this so I could reorder.... Very good.

POWER COMPANY MANHUNTER: Far less interesting than I hoped. Kinda sad when "Bork" is the most engaging character of the lot, ennit? Eh.

POWER COMPANY SAPPHIRE: The character’s origin struck me as something straight out of Champions (the RPG, not the comic) – reads like a 14 year old’s idea of good comics. Eh.

POWERS #17: Repeating praise month after month gets boring, you know. Very good.

PUNISHER #8: There have been a lot of lousy fucking Punisher stories over the years. Once I had thought that "Punisher becomes a black man" was as low as it could sink. I was wrong. Terribly terribly wrong. Here’s this winner of a story: Castle goes to a drunk Nick Fury in a bar, and asks for an introduction to Reed Richards. Meeting Reed, he convinces him to lend him a time machine so he can go kill Al Capone. Reed does. Castle does. Last page: It was all a dream. Wow. Just wow. I don’t think I will read a more poorly conceived story in 2002. Maybe not even in the whole 21^st Century. Stupefying bad, and every inch of it Crap

RUSE #4: "Oh, but I can’t use my magic powers!" Something fresh best happen next issue, or else I’m done with this CrossGen book, too. I want sleuthing and steampunk and witty banter... not this semi-slap stick coupled with a lot of whining from the leads. Awful.

SAM AND TWITCH #23: Late books are bad. Late mystery books are far worse. Its been so long, how can I bother to care any longer? That said, Todd is not a bad writer, and the art is very nice. Eh.

SPIDER-MAN TANGLED WEB #10: Nice little story, "done in one" (heh), with a decent resolution. OK

SUPERBOY #96: Cute idea, but the execution is mediocre at best. Eh.

SUPERMAN TARZAN SONS OF THE JUNGLE #2: Also intolerably late. God-damn awful bigfoot artwork. Eh.

TAROT WITCH OF THE BLACK ROSE#12: Look, if you want to do a book about lesbian vampire cheerleaders, that’s your god-given right. But, for christsake, don’t make it soft-core. Kinda avoids the entire point. Clearly Balent WANTS to draw nekkid chicks, so why not just do it? This is one of those very rare comics that I am genuinely embarrassed to sell. Awful.

TITANS #37: I really want to read stories about the Titans, not a group of kids who will be forgotten within 6 months. Awful.

TOM STRONGS TERRIFIC TALES #2: Jonni Future flicks my bic, but the other Tom Strong stories are basically just like any other Tom Strong story. That’s not a bad thing, per se, just unnecessary for the marketplace. My advice: cancel this, put Jonni in Tomorrow Stories, and let Steve Moore write stories in the regular Tom Strong book. No one will mind, really. Mostly for Jonni: Good.

TRUE STORY SWEAR TO GOD #2 REUNION: Not quite as charming as issue #1, it is bigfoot cartoony True Romance, and it works quite well, even though we know they’ve had the happy ending. OK

ULTIMATE MARVEL TEAM UP #12: Ted McKeever and Dr. Strange. That’s a tasty combo. Doc’s origin is a little odd (he’s Stephen’s son in this version), and (repeat after me class) The Font Sucks, but it was still a great fun read. If you had told me five years ago that Marvel Team-up would be the best monthly sampler of the possible range of comics art, I woulda laughed in your face. All Praise the Bendis. Very good.

ULTIMATES #1: So so so not what I was expecting. In a way, this first issue almost read like a direct appeal to skip out on the comic and just wait for the trades. 21 of 22 pages is Captain America’s "origin" (well, not really, his last mission, more like it), and we don’t meet any of the other heroes at all. Very well done, but not what I think people are looking for. If #2 isn’t plot-thick, I expect to see a lot of people walk away really quickly. The art completely smoked, too. Disappointing, and yet still oddly Good

UNIVERSE #5: Wow, that’s bad. Awful

WOLVERINE #172: Alpha Flight, but nothing but One Big Fight. Big-ass waste of space and potential. Awful.

WONDER WOMAN #177: Lots happens, but I can’t really imagine any of it being reflected in any other book that WW appears in. It's like Lex as President. A decent idea, but only if you take it ALL THE WAY across the entire DCU line. Problem is, if you do that, in a couple of years the comics will IN NO WAY resemble anything close to our world. (not like we have super-heroes, but I think you know what I mean). I liked it, but I still think it was a Big Mistake. Despite that, and on its own merits: Good.

 For Sake of Completeness, here’s a list of all of the OTHER comics that CE got in this week, that I did NOT read (and, therefore, am unlikely to review!). Note, that in most cases this is limited to 1) Manga, which I try to read as it is collected; 2) "Kids" comics like most of the Archies; 3) titles that were subs-only, either by design or accident; 4) Porno [oh, like you need me to REVIEW it!], 5) Things that looked SO bad on the racks that I didn’t bother, and 6) stuff that I’ve assessed before, and I care so little about that I don’t want to waste my time reading anymore.

ALICE IN SEXLAND #2
ALISON DARE & THE HEART OF THE MAIDEN #1
ARCHIE #519
ARCHIE DIGEST #187
BAD KITTY RELOADED #4
BLADE OF THE IMMORTAL #64
CARTOON CARTOONS #9
COOL CAT STUDIO #2
COWBOY BEBOP #1
DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS IN SHADOW OF DRAGONS #6
FELIX THE CATS MAGIC BAG OF TRICKS #1
FUTABAKUN CHANGE VOL 7 #6\
HIGHWAY 13 #5
INCAL #6
KISSING CHAOS #6
LADY DEATH LAST RITES #4
MERIDIAN #20
NIPPY WALLABOOSH #1
OUTLAW 7 #3
TENTH RESURRECTED DANIEL CVR #4
VAMPIRE PRINCESS YUI VOL 3 #6
VERONICA #123
WALKIE TALKIE #3
WERESLUT #4
X-MEN EVOLUTION #3

And, for even MORE completeness sake, here’s a list of books, TPBs, GNs, and magazines that CE got this week. I generally haven’t read any of this by the time I post these reviews. Though I generally attempt to give at least one recommendation amongst the TPBs each week, since I HAVE read the material at SOME point.

2000 AD PROG 2002
AMAZING ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY TP
CINEFANTASTIQUE VOLUME 34 #1
ELMORE TWENTY YEARS OF ART TP
FLASH ARCHIVES VOL 3 HC
FREZZATO SKETCHBOOK HC
GOLDEN AGE GREEN LANTERN ARCHIVES VOL 2 HC
GREAT WOMEN CARTOONISTS TP
GREEN LANTERN CORPS JOHN STEWART ACTION FIGURE
GREEN LANTERN CORPS TOMAR RE ACTION FIGURE
JUDGE DREDD GOODNIGHT KISS GN
KABUKI VOL 2 DREAMS HC ED
LONE WOLF & CUB VOL 17 WILL OF THE FANG TP
MURDER ME DEAD HC
MURDER ME DEAD TP
NEW SUPERMAN SYMBOL T/S SM, MED, LG
ODDVILLE TP
PATRICK THE WOLF BOY VOL 2 TP
PREVIEWS VOL XII #2
PSYCHOTIX VOL 2 GOES TO TIBERIUS PALACE
PUBLIC DOMAIN TP
SILENT MOBIUS VOL 7 TP
TRANSMETROPOLITAN VOL 6 GOUGEAWAY TP
WIZARD THE COMICS MAGAZINE #126

This Week’s TPB recommendation is: Decisions, decisions, decisions. Transmet is long over do, and the last, I feel, of the "great" stories from that book... but Murder Me Dead is such a fabulous package. I hate the fact that the HC and SC shipped the same week (way to undercut yourself, Lapham!), but I went for the HC anyway because it is so much nicer looking and feeling in the hands. Sweet stuff, and you should buy it right now.

Average Rating for the Week: 46 books "reviewed" for an average rating of 3.61 (out of a possible 7.00)

Pick of the Week: The obvious choice: Dark Knight Strikes Again #2, even despite its many flaws.

Pick of the Weak: Too god damn easy: Punisher #8. Shameful, absolutely shameful.